Why do so many politicians, business leaders and influential public figures come from boarding schools?

In this fascinating conversation, I sit down with researcher, author and podcaster Dominic Waterson to explore the hidden influence of childhood experiences, elite education and institutional culture on leadership and power.

Drawing on years of research for his book Traitors: The Pandemic Politicians, Dominic examines the backgrounds of figures including Boris Johnson, Tony Blair, David Cameron, Justin Welby and many others.

Together we explore:

• Why boarding schools appear repeatedly in the backgrounds of political leaders

• The relationship between childhood trauma and leadership

• How institutional cultures shape beliefs, behaviours and decision-making

• Boris Johnson's early years and boarding school experience

• Tony Blair, Fettes College and the influence of elite education

• Why some leaders struggle with authenticity and emotional intelligence

• The impact of power, privilege and social conditioning

• How childhood experiences continue to influence leadership in adulthood

This conversation is not about political parties.

It is about understanding how childhood experiences, education and institutional culture can shape the people who ultimately lead nations, organisations and communities.

Whether you are interested in leadership, psychology, emotional intelligence, trauma, boarding school syndrome or the structures of power, this episode offers a thought-provoking perspective on how leaders are formed.

If you enjoy the conversation, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who may find it valuable.

Website:
www.piers-cross.com

#BoardingSchoolSyndrome #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PoliticalLeadership #Trauma #ChildhoodTrauma #DominicWaterson #AnEvolvingManPodcast

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 For the workshop: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-conversations-youre-not-having-tickets-1991361811785?aff=oddtdtcreator&keep_tld=true 

Many leaders, entrepreneurs and former boarders avoid the conversations that matter most.

Not because they don't know what needs to be said.

But because somewhere deep in the nervous system, speaking up still feels dangerous.

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore why so many of us avoid difficult conversations, where this pattern originates, and how early experiences such as boarding school, emotional neglect, bullying, criticism or trauma can shape our ability to communicate honestly and set healthy boundaries.

We explore:

• Why difficult conversations can feel frightening
 • How boarding school conditioning teaches silence and compliance
 • The link between trauma, people-pleasing and conflict avoidance
 • Why resentment builds when we don't speak up
 • The role of emotional intelligence in courageous leadership
 • How to have difficult conversations without aggression or blame
 • The importance of nervous system regulation before speaking
 • Using "I statements" instead of projection
 • Why boundaries and conversations are deeply connected
 • Practical steps to start speaking more truthfully

Whether you're a leader, entrepreneur, former boarder, coach, parent or someone who struggles to speak up, this episode offers practical insights to help you communicate with greater confidence, authenticity and compassion.

If this episode resonates, please like, subscribe and share.

To learn more about Compassionate Leaders Global:

https://www.compassionateleadersglobal.com

To learn more about my work:

https://www.piers-cross.com

#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #BoardingSchoolSyndrome #TraumaHealing #DifficultConversations #CompassionateLeadership #Relationships #PersonalDevelopment

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In Episode 159 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Professor Helen Odell-Miller OBE, one of the UK’s leading pioneers in music therapy.

Helen has spent decades working with trauma, attachment, mental health and emotional healing through music. She also worked closely with the late Joy Schaverien, whose work on boarding school syndrome transformed the conversation around early separation and institutional trauma.

In this episode we explore:

•  What music therapy is and how it works 
•  Why music can help where words cannot 
•  Helen’s own boarding school experience 
•  Joy Schaverien’s ABCD model 
•  Hidden abandonment and dissociation 
•  Why resilience is often misunderstood 
•  How music can support connection, regulation and healing 

A thoughtful and powerful conversation.

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 To join the webinars and to receive the recordings please visit here: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ 

The film is due for release on the 15th March at midday and will stay live for one week. 

#boardingoninsanity #boardingschoolsyndrome #childhoodtrauma #drgabormate

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Thank you so much to everyone who came to the London premiere of the new documentary Boarding On Insanity. 

To register for the live webinars please put your name in here: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ 

Webinars are on 5th, 10th and 13th March. 

To join you will need to put your name on the email list and you will be sent the link to the webinar. 

These will be recorded so those on the email list will receive the recordings. 

Take care, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I am speaking with psychotherapist, Toby Ingham, about his new book, A Guilty Victim. A Guilty Victim tells the true story of an English boy’s recovery from grooming and sexual abuse at a Catholic boarding school in Ireland in the 1970s. It is a contemporary account of psychotherapy with an adult survivor, written with the client’s full consent. A big thank you to Chris Bratich of Seen and Heard for connecting us.

---

Toby Ingham is a BPC & UKCP registered psychotherapist & supervisor, member of The British Psychotherapy Foundation, The Association of Independent Psychotherapists, and BAPPS. Former Clinical Director of South Bucks Counselling (2019-2023). He has 25 years of experience working with people, dealing with depression, low mood, anxiety states, trauma, bereavement, addictions, and emotional instability.  Before setting up his psychotherapy practice in Oxford, he trained in NHS at St Barts’ Hospital, and at the Homerton Hospital in London.  He is a former staff psychotherapist at Nightingale Hospital and trained at Promis Addiction Centre and Age Concern.

Questions for Toby:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What lead you into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about your book, A Guilty Victim? What drew you to write it?
3. What do you feel is different about this book from other boarding school and therapeutic books?
4. What happened to your client at school? 
5. How did your client learn to cope? Do you feel that this process of coping is good for the psyche. If yes, why? If not, why not?
6. Why is it that we, as ex-boarders struggle to fit in outside of school? Both as children and as adults? (P.88)
7. And you mention that your client would try and take responsibility for the mood in the house? (P.88). Why do we do that as children?
8. Where there any specific symptoms of his trauma that showed up in adult life?
9. What do you feel makes the psychotherapeutic relationship so important in healing boarding school and childhood trauma wounds?
10. What changes did you see in your client as he moved through the therapeutic process with you?
11. What did you learn over the years that you worked with your client?
12. What do you feel about boarding schools?
13. How do people learn more about your work?

#childhoodtrauma#boardingschoolsyndrome#grooming#traumarecovery

To find out more about Toby's work please visit: www.tobyingham.com

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Today I talk about two important events. 

One is my wife, Michelle Dawn Silcox's, funeral. 

And the other is the Boarding On Insanity documentary premiere in 3 days time, 1st March in London: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

I also talk about the webinars starting on the 5th March with special guests, Prof Joy Schaverien, Dr Suzanne Zeedyk and Dr Warren Larkin. 

And then on the 10th March we will be interviewing Zena Me, Martin Lloyd-Elliott and Nick Duffell. 

To register for those events you can do so here: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ 

Thanks for all your support and kind words.

See you soon, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Myles Katz is a pioneer in the field of legal psychedelics, blending personal experience with professional innovation to advance mental health and personal transformation. As the founder and executive director of Confluence Retreats, he leads immersive, multi-day psilocybin retreats in Oregon’s Cascade-Siskiyou National Monument. These retreats offer a legal, structured, and profoundly transformative experience, tailored for individuals seeking personal growth, emotional breakthroughs, and spiritual development in a safe and nurturing environment. 

Questions for Myles:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about some of the research from University College London about psilocybin? What did they find out?
3. Many people are curious but hesitant about psychedelics. What would you say to someone who is nervous about taking that first step?
4. You often talk about moving from “functioning to flourishing.” Can you share how psychedelics help individuals make that transition?
5. What role does integration—such as therapy, mindfulness, or community—play in maximizing the benefits of a psychedelic experience?
6. Psychedelics are often associated with mental health treatments. How do you see their role expanding beyond mental health into personal growth and creativity?
7. What common misconceptions about psychedelics would you like to address, especially for people who may still view them through a stigmatized lens?
8. What advice would you give to someone considering a psychedelic retreat for personal or spiritual development, and how can they prepare for the experience?
9. How do you balance honoring indigenous traditions while offering a modern and legal psychedelic experience at your retreats?
10. How do people find out more about your work?

To find out more about Myles' work: https://www.confluenceretreats.org/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 A few reflections about the death of my wife. 

How has the last week been? 

I share some of my grief. 

And I talk about the documentary premiere in 10 days time in London at the Rio in Dalston: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

We have decided to go ahead with the premiere as my wife was so supportive of the film.

Take care,

Piers

#boardingoninsanity #grief #loss #boardingschoolsyndrome 

https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What is the importance of emotional intelligence in leaders?

And why do so many leaders feel isolated, lonely and struggling with burn out?

Today, Pete Hunt, founder of Monumental, a network for growth focused leaders talks about his boarding school experiences.

What was the legacy he left boarding school with?

And how did it affect him as a leader?

An authentic and heart-felt conversation.

---

Pete Hunt is a leading men's group facilitator, podcast host and meditation teacher. He is also the founder of Monumental, which is a network for growth focused leaders.

Questions for Pete:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What were your experiences like at boarding school? How did those experiences impact you as an adult?
3. What do you see and hear in men in who were being educated in Boarding Schools in the 1980’s and 90’s?
4. Could you please speak about the work you do with Monumental? What do you do?
5. What is the key issue with men's mental health at the moment? What can we start to do to change this?
6. Other areas to talk about:
   1. The importance of community and connection
   2. Isolation
   3. Loneliness
   4. Accountability
   5. Emotional intelligence
   6. Bullying
7. How do people find more about your work?

To find out more about Pete's work please visit: https://petehunt.com/ or www.monumental.global

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I share some really sad news. 

On Sunday 9th February my wife died. 

I have been feeling so sad. 

She was such a wonderful lady. 

So kind, loving and caring. 

Without her the film and my work would not exist. 

Thank you Michelle. Here is the interview I did with her: https://youtu.be/fKs1A_4xw7A 

Blessings, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Ben Cole is a film director, storyteller, cinematographer and all round filmmaker. His films include 1 Giant Leap with Robbie Williams and Time of The Sixth Sun.

Questions for Ben:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What is the film Boarding On Insanity about?
3. What drew you to make it?
4. Please share your journey of making the film. How was it for you?
5. What were some of the highs in making this film?
6. What were some of the lows?
7. Could you please talk about the movement around boarding schools as a whole?
8. What's the vision of the film moving forward?
9. How can people support the release of the film? When is it coming out?
10. What is your call to action?
11. How do people find more about your work?

To find out more about Ben new film please visit: https://boardingoninsanity.com/

And to watch the trailer: https://youtu.be/vLeAj5TiqU4

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 London Premiere Boarding On Insanity 1st March 1.30pm | What Is Happening? | Piers Cross 

To buy tickets here: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

Website will go live on Thursday 06.02.25: http://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ 

To join the launch waiting list: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film 

 #boardingoninsanity #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool #premiere 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Many boarding schools claim they build resilience.

But what if what they often create is something else entirely?

In this episode, I explore the difference between true resilience and dissociation, and why so many ex-boarders struggle with relationships, emotional regulation, connection and rest later in life.

Drawing on the work of Barbara Fredrickson, Emma Seppälä, Joy Schaverien, Nick Duffell and others, I share:

•  Why becoming “bulletproof” is not resilience 
•  How trauma narrows the window of tolerance 
•  Why emotional agility matters 
•  Three practical ways to build real resilience 
•  Why healing often happens in connection 

If you went to boarding school or work with high performers, this conversation may offer a new lens.

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Did many people feel homesick at boarding school?

Reading the biographies of Bear Grylls, Minnie Driver, Jeremy Paxman, Roald Dahl we can see that they all suffered with homesickness.

Today I also explore the work of Joy Schaverien in Boarding School Syndrome where she says, "Homesickness has been reframed as bereavement."

Are we really bereaved rather than homesick?

Take care,

Piers

#boardingschool #homesickness #bereavement #beargrylls

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Drawing on the work of Kouzes and Posner and their excellent book, The Leadership Challenge, what are the 5 principles of a great leader?

I discuss all 5 qualities and traits while linking that in to the UK.

Why is it that we have so few good leaders in the UK?

Over the past few decades there have been consistently poor leaders in charge.

Today I talk about why I feel this is.

I draw upon the work of Oliver Bullough and Butler to The World, and Warren Bennis' On Becoming a Leader.

#leadership #greatleaders #Ukleaders

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

How can we heal childhood trauma if we have tried many different therapies and nothing has worked? 

Today I am speaking with Siamon Emery, a globally experienced mentor talking about his journey through childhood trauma and recovery. 

Growing up with parents who were addicts meant that he lived through a lot of trauma. 

This impacted him in relationships, at work and mentally. 

Today he shares his fascinating journey of recovery - the practices he uses like yoga, somatic experiencing and how we too can start to regulate our nervous systems. 

---

Siamon Emery is a globally experienced mentor specializing in trauma recovery, nervous system regulation, and guiding high-performing entrepreneurs and leaders through personal and professional growth. His approach draws from a unique blend of lived experience, spiritual practice, and scientific study, shaped by years of immersing himself in diverse cultures and healing modalities across Costa Rica, India, and Australia. 

Questions for Siamon:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What are some of the most common self-sabotaging patterns you see in high achievers, and why are they so difficult to overcome?
3. How does unresolved trauma manifest in professional settings, and what can leaders do to address these hidden barriers?
4. Can you explain the connection between nervous system regulation and decision-making in high-pressure environments like entrepreneurship or leadership?
5. What role does fear play in keeping people stuck, even when they’re consciously trying to grow or expand their business or personal life?
6. You often mention the importance of rewiring the nervous system—what practical steps can someone take to start this process?
7. How did your personal journey and experiences with trauma shape the way you coach and mentor others today?
8. What advice do you give to entrepreneurs or leaders who feel overwhelmed or paralyzed when making high-stakes decisions?
9. For people who feel like they’ve tried everything—therapy, coaching, spiritual practices—what makes your approach different?
10. How can someone tell if they are operating from a place of fear or if they are genuinely making the right decision to stay within their comfort zone?
11. You work at the intersection of spirituality and science. How do you blend the two in your mentorship and healing practices, and why do you think this balance is so effective?
12. How do people find out more about your work?

For more information please visit: https://siamonemery.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/siamon.emery/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

The new documentary, Boarding On Insanity featuring many experts including Dr Gabor Mate, Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, Nick Duffell and Prof Joy Schaverien is nearing completion

https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

The film explores the question, Are our leaders traumatised?

And the trauma? Boarding school.

Many of the world's leading business and political figures have attended these schools from Mark Zuckerberg to Donald Trump and from Richard Branson to Boris Johnson.

What is the impact of going to these schools?

We explore the stories of those who went to boarding school and ask experts what the impact might be on our leaders.

If you would like to be notified of the film release please do join our email list here: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

Any questions please do comment below.

#boardingschool #boardingoninsanity #gabormate

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What is attachment theory? And how does your attachment style affect your time at boarding school?

In a fascinating conversation, leading attachment expert, Anne Power, talks about the four attachment styles of secure, avoidant, anxious ambivalent and disorganized.

What are their experiences of boarding school like? Does the securely attached child do well? 

Does everyone come out of boarding school with an avoidant attachment?

---

Anne Power, is a couple counsellor and has taught psychotherapy and supervision on university courses in London. She has published many academic papers on attachment and two books. 

She started her counselling work thirty years ago. Her initial training was as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist with a special interest in attachment theory. Later she trained in a systemic model and this integration – of attachment and systemic thinking - matches with EFT (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy) which is the model in which she is now developing her practice.

Annie posts on Instagram most days with supportive ideas about relationships - that's at  'and_attachment'  Her TEDx talk provides a brief overview of attachment theory and has over 600k views. 

Some of the questions and areas interest:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you arrive at doing what you do now?
2. Would you please introduce us to attachment theory. What is it? Could you talk a little about the different forms of attachment? (p. 15)
3. Could you please speak to how attachment theory relates to relationships? Why does connection to ourselves better equip us for relationships?
4. What happens when a child with one of the 4 attachment styles arrives at boarding school?
5. In your research will secure kids thrive at boarding schools? If not, why not? What happens to their relationship with their parents?
6. What about avoidants. How do they cope with separation from home?
7. How about ambivalents? How do they cope with boarding school?
8. What about disorganized attachment? How is boarding school for them?
9. Some other areas to talk about:
   1. Neurodivergent
   2. Learning

For more information about Anne Power please visit: https://www.contentedcouples.com/

#attachmenttheory #attachment #boardingschool

Or to purchase her book: https://www.karnacbooks.com/product/contented-couples-magic-logic-or-luck/96376/?MATCH=1

And for her Instagram & Ted X Talk: https://www.instagram.com/and_attachment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9idayJyWCWs&t=204s

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 "We live in a world where people think nothing of isolating a child from their family and peers, shaming them, punishing them, and often reducing them to tears in the name of entertainment for television shows and social media clips, all without the child's consent. 

Our governments seem hell-bent on making life as difficult as possible for families, and particularly for children, the only constituents who don't get a say in their futures. " Sarah Ockwell-Smith 

What is going on regarding the grooming gangs? 

Here we have another cover up from the British establishment - for 25 years people have been speaking up about the grooming and rape gangs and yet very little has been done. 

Here I talk about the different inquiries over the years and why they don't work. 

IICSA - the inquiry into child sexual abuse spent just under £200 million and of the 20 recommendations none, I repeat none have been implemented. 

Why is that we just don't seem to care about the people especially children?

I also talk about duty of care and how the duty is always to the institution and rarely the person. 

Here is the BBC articles: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy767y0y6dzo

What do you feel? 

Take care, Piers 

#groominggangs #childsexualabuse #IICSA 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I am speaking with consultant clinical psychologist, Dr Warren Larkin.

Dr Larkin is a specialist in the area of Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACES and implementing trauma-informed approaches to organisations.

Today we explore trauma. What is it? 

We also talk about ACES. What are the 10 ACES and how do they link to boarding school? Could we do a study into the Adverse Childhood Experiences at boarding school?

He shares how those who have been through childhood trauma can be negatively impacted as adults and the financial cost on society

He also talks about how doing routine enquiry into ACES with patients can support survivors to heal.

---

Warren Larkin is a consultant clinical psychologist who prior to founding Warren Larkin Associates in 2017, spent 24 years in the NHS, working predominantly with individuals and families experiencing serious mental health difficulties.

Warren is currently co-leading the implementation of trauma informed approaches in 100 secondary schools in England, which is being evaluated by means of a randomised controlled trial funded by the Youth Endowment Fund and the Home Office.

Questions for Warren:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please speak to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)? What are they and how do ACES impact us both as adults and children?
3. What are the 10 different ACES?
4. What are some of the outcomes of ACES later in life?
5. I would love for you to speak to routine enquiry about adversity.
6. Some of the studies you have been involved in really fascinate me. The study about the healthcare cost of sexual abuse survivors is astonishing. Could you please talk to that?
7. And could you please speak to the 100 school study into what the right trauma informed support and interventions can do for the children? 
8. What is trauma-informed practice?
9. How do we improve educational setting to be more trauma informed?
10. Boarding school and ACES. I would love for us to discuss boarding schools and ACES and the overlap.
11. Emotional health. What is an emotional health intervention? What would that look like in practice?
12. Is there a link between childhood trauma and psychosis? If yes, could you please talk to that.
13. How do people find out more about your work?

#ACEs #AdverseChildhoodExperiences #Childhoodtrauma

To get in touch with Dr Larkin or to learn more please visit: https://warrenlarkinassociates.co.uk/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In 1993 three months after I left boarding school I went to work as an assitant housemaster and a teaching assistant at a boarding school in Australia. 

Today I talk about the experience.

What was it like? 

If I hated boarding school so much why did I go and work in another boarding school? 

I explore institutionalisation and I share not being liked, being called names and caning among other things. 

Take care, Piers 

#boardingschool #teaching #teacher

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

How does drama therapy help people who have been through trauma?

And what about people in prisons? How does drama help those struggling with addictions or spending time incarcerated?

Today I am speaking with Mark MacNicol who has worked with over 5,000 people through his workshops and 1-1 work.

We talk about drama therapy and its benefits. And he explores how he uses AI for self-development.

Thank you Mark.

---

Mark MacNicol is an accomplished mind coach, writer, and creator of _Anonymous Drama_, a unique form of drama therapy designed for individuals who typically have no interest in drama or therapy. With a background in writing for screen and theatre, Mark holds a Master’s degree in Television Drama Writing. His work is particularly focused on using the arts to support vulnerable and marginalized communities, especially within the recovery and justice sectors.   

Questions for Mark:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. I would love for you to talk about Anonymous Drama. What is it and how does it help process trauma?
3. How did your own personal journey shape the development of Anonymous Drama?
4. Could you please talk about addiction and recovery. What is the power of creative expression and self-awareness in addressing addiction?
5. What are some of the innovative approaches to rehabilitation in the justice system?
6. I would love for you to talk about mental health. What have you found to be the most effective way of facing and healing mental conditions?
7. Could you please talk about mental health and creativity? Why do these seem to work so well together?
8. What have been some of the challenges in getting this message out there into rehab centres and prisons?
9. What link to trauma have you found in your work to childhood trauma?
10. What is the importance of safety and support in your work?

To find out more about Mark: https://www.youtube.com/@markmacnicol

His book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Mark-MacNicol/author/B005FCH3KS?ref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

For LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmacnicol?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app

 Media Profile: https://podfol.io/profile/mark-macnicol

 Website: www.markmacnicol.com

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Food at Boarding School | Freddie Mercury "The World's Worst" Food | Piers Cross 

What was food like at boarding school?

And how did that impact us as adults?

Today I draw upon the biography of Freddie Mercury who went to boarding school in India from 8 through to 16.

From Leslie-Ann Jones' biography of Freddie, Love of My Life, she shares some of his stories from his boarding school time.

She shares the story of one of Freddie's girlfriends in the girls' section of Freddie's school: “Oh my goodness, the food at my school was God-awful. And at St Peter's (Freddie's school) it was even worse. The 'world's worst', Bucky (Freddie's nickname at school) used to say. We had no choice but to eat it, we would have starved otherwise. There was nothing else.” 

I also talk about David Cameron who shares in his autobiography, “The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight.”

I share stories from Eddie Izzard and how he struggled with food at boarding school.

And I also share some of my diary entries from my time at boarding school and what I thought of the food.

What about you? What was your food like at boarding school?

#food #freddiemercury #boardingschool #neglect

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this episode, I explore the powerful influence of crowds and group behaviour, particularly within boarding school environments.

Why do people join in when someone is being shamed or targeted?
 Why does it happen so quickly — and often without conscious thought?

Drawing on Elias Canetti’s Crowds and Power and modern neuroscience around mirror neurons, this episode looks at how emotional contagion shapes behaviour — and why many of us still carry guilt or shame about those moments.

This is also an episode about self-forgiveness.

Understanding that what happened was often about survival — and how we begin to take responsibility without self-judgement.

In This Episode:

•  Crowd psychology and emotional contagion 
•  Boarding school group dynamics 
•  Mirror neurons and unconscious behaviour 
•  Shame and the inner critic 
•  Self-forgiveness and healing

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this video I reference an article from the Times by Marina and Ben Fogle: https://archive.ph/ximP5 

What if you child really wants to go to boarding school?

What do you need to know as a parent?

#boardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Why does the British establishment seem so addicted to cover up? 

In 2024 alone we have seen the Post Office, Mohammed al Fayed, NHS and the blood scandal, Justin Welby and the Church involved in cover-ups. 

Why do we cover up so much in the UK? 

Today I explore some of the historical cover ups in British history from the Boer War to the Mau Mau rebellion in Kenya and the British cover up in India during partition. 

I also talk about the psychology of why we cover up. 

And I link it to power and money. 

I draw upon the work of Caroline Elkins and the Legacy of Violence, Prof Joy Schaverien and Boarding School Syndrome, CG Jung and Oliver Bullough's Butler to The World. 

Take care, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Liz Entin is an entrepreneur living in NYC and LA. She originally began her career in fashion in both New York and London and now is the founder of Why Get Wasted, a company that helps events, businesses, fashion shows, conferences, and any gathering eliminate waste and be climate friendly. (www.whygetwasted.com)

She is also author and podcast host of WTF Just Happened?! which, inspired by a loss, examines scientific evidence of spirituality and an afterlife from a non-woo perspective. (www.wtfjusthappened.net)

Liz grew up in NYC, where she was sent to the “top” NYC private (the equivalent of what is called public in the UK) schools, from kindergarten through high school (5 - 18 years old). She always thought of her time there as brutal and knew she was unhappy, but believed the schools were something to get through, in exchange for the huge payoff at the end. Recently, as podcasts on trauma and cults have become popular,  discovering Charles Spencer's book, and this podcast, she has realized how traumatic they were and understood the lifelong damage they caused that she is now working to overcome. She has also come to realize how the NYC private schools idealize and base themselves on the British boarding schools.. She is in the middle of writing a book on her time in these schools titled The Marshmallow Castle - The false promises of the best schools. (www.marshmallowcastle.com / www.schooltrauma.com. Instagram: @the_marshmallow_castle)

10 Questions / Talking Points 

1 - Specifics I related to from reading Charles Spencer's book.

2 - These schools are like cults.

3 - Politicians and leaders attend these schools, are damaged, as well as unexposed to the needs of the average person and then bring this lack of empathy and trauma to the country

4 - Direct imitation of British accents (unintentionally) and discussing how we are getting as good an education as anyone who attends Eton.

5 - Combination of very strict rules, that are meaningless, and complete lawlessness when it comes to cruelty , safety, bullying. Shaming for breaking rules.

6 - Insulation from the real world, learning nothing that is useful in the real world, and insulation from other social classes.

7 - As a girl, femininity was looked down upon 

8 - Gaslighting. Constantly being told how lucky you are to attend. A gaslighting of you and your parents from the school and society.

9 - Constantly feeling as if you have to be accomplishing something. Being taught to always strive and not to listen to your needs or body. You are doing something wrong if you are not achieving at every second.  

10 - The good of the school and image of the school comes above all else. Treated as a “class traitor” for saying something negative. 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What happened with the church last week? 

Why did the Archbishop of Canterbury not disclose what happened with the sexual abuse? 

Today I wanted to offer a hypothesis through the lens of boarding school syndrome and trauma work. 

What possible reasons did Justin Welby cover up the abuse? 

Today I offer 5 possible reasons that Justin Welby covered up the abuse by John Smyth at the Iwerne Trust. 

And here is my first video from last week: https://youtu.be/apVMm3FG0hs 

To sign up to become an Ambassador of the documentary, Boarding on Insanity: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film 

Justin Welby was a “dormitory officer” for the Iwerne Trust: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/aug/13/justin-welby-church-scrutiny-sadistic-christian-camp?bcmt=1 

Did Justin Welby already know about John Smythe in the 1980s? https://news.sky.com/story/why-has-archbishop-of-canterbury-justin-welby-resigned-and-what-happens-next-13253198 

Take care, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I wanted to give an update to our documentary, Boarding on Insanity.

With the resignation of Justin Welby, who is the head of the Church of England and Archbishop of Canterbury, this is so relevant. 

Justin Welby, who boarded at St Peter's School at 8 years old and then to Eton as a boy and also spent time with the Iwerne Trust where John Smyth was abusing children when he was younger.

What is the impact of having leaders who have been to boarding school in charge of big institutions and government?

Will they cover up and hide what is happening?

To sign up to become an Ambassador of the documentary, Boarding on Insanity: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

Justin Welby was a “dormitory officer” for the Iwerne Trust: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/aug/13/justin-welby-church-scrutiny-sadistic-christian-camp?bcmt=1

Did Justin Welby already know about John Smythe in the 1980s? https://news.sky.com/story/why-has-archbishop-of-canterbury-justin-welby-resigned-and-what-happens-next-13253198

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

AEM # 115 Giles Moffat Boarding School Survivors Taking Their Schools To Court

How do you take your school to court? How do you get a prosecution for sexual and physical abuse when no one else has listened?

A fascinating conversation today with Giles Moffat about how a group of child abuse survivors took their schools to court.

Giles talks about how he connected with Nicky Campbell, the BBC DJ, who attended the same school as him.

Gradually they built a large network of survivors who managed to get not only the police but also the schools and courts to listen.

A very powerful and inspiring conversation.

---

Giles became a boarder at the Edinburgh Academy in 1980, where he was abused like many others.

In 2022 Giles formed the EA Survivors group with Nicky Campbell.  

Today he shares his insights into effective campaigning and the power of survivor groups.

Questions for Giles:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you are now doing?
2. What were your boarding school experiences like?
3. How did boarding school impact you as an adult?
4. - naming perpetrators and the legalities around that (basically, go for it. We named several people in the media because of their age and have yet to receive a single legal letter in 2 years)
5. Understanding UK defamation law (I have a qualification in this)
6. Influencing prosecution (we lobbied the police and crown office and got 6 arrests in December 23)
7. The experience of giving evidence in court situations 
8. The therapeutic and empowering benefits of speaking up
9. What motivates survivors when they campaign
10. How to engage with the authorities and get the best out of them. 
11. Working with the media to achieve your aims.
12. Planning and strategy for survivor groups. 
13. Historical cover-ups. 
14. You have worked in positions of leadership. How did your boarding school education impact the way you lead?
15. Boarding school leaders: Could you please speak to those leaders who have been to boarding school. David Cameron, Boris Johnson. What do you feel about their leadership?
16. What is the work that you are doing now?

#childabuse #childhoodtrauma #nickycampbell #edinburghacademy 

To connect with the survivors group: https://easurvivors.info/

For Seen and Heard: https://seenheard.org.uk/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I wanted to continue the conversation about cults which Wyndham Wallace talked about in my last podcast: https://youtu.be/NYTA8dm6X6g

HereI wanted share some of the literature on cults by some of the world's leading experts on them.

What is a cult?

And what are the main characteristics of a cult?

And finally how much like a cult is a boarding school?

6 Characteristics of a Cult: https://andynaselli.com/sociological-characteristics-of-cults

What Is A Cult? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-mind/202106/understanding-cults-the-basics

Book on Cults:: https://a.co/d/7kXgyFe

#cults #boardingschool #cult #boardingschoolsyndrome 

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Wyndham Wallace is a Berlin-based writer whose critically acclaimed first book, Lee, Myself & I – about his friendship with Lee Hazlewood, the man behind These Boots Are Made For Walking – was published in 2015. 

He began his career as a music publicist in the mid 1990s, before running City Slang Records’ UK office for eight years, but now works as a music critic for, among others, Uncut and Classic Pop. He also worked as music consultant on Sebastian Schipper’s Victoria, for which composer Nils Frahm won a German Film Award, and can be seen fronting Almost Fashionable: A Film About Travis, which won the Edinburgh Film Festival Audience Award. 

In 2024, he helped lead a number of victims of child sexual abuse over three decades to a public settlement with Horris Hill prep school, and he continues to campaign for justice for all those abused in private education, past and present.

Questions for Wyndham:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you are now doing?
2. Your own experience at Horris Hill, and how sexual abuse was the only angle that the law would accept to bring a case even though other equally appalling things took place there, leaving other victims without satisfaction
3. The broader issues of a culture that has outlived its usefulness, if it was ever useful, and its wider effects on society
4. Whether, for all their talk of safeguarding etc, schools today have genuinely learned anything from the last decade or two of abuse exposure. With new cases emerging it would appear not much has changed at all.
5. The absurdity of separating a child from its parents at a young age when it’s clearly seen abroad as seriously detrimental, even as a punishment, to a child
6. The need for mandatory reporting and how Duty Of Candour could have helped me (and other Horris Hill victims) put this largely behind us as early as 1985.
7. Your belief that what we are actually dealing with here is a cult, pure and simple. Most of the signs are there, and it takes victims years to deprogram. I believe it’s also helpful to think this way in terms of our parents, who had been similarly inculcated and are victims too, yet never receive an apology from schools (even when former pupils do)
8. The link between music and memory.
9. What is the work that you are doing now?

#csa #horrishill #boardingschool #sexual abuse #boardingschoolcults

For more information please visit: http://www.wyndhamwallace.com

To purchase his first book: http://jawbonepress.com/lee-myself-i/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

On my podcast this week I am interviewing Wyndham Wallace who is an author and music critic.

In the episode we were talking about music and how powerful it can be for healing childhood trauma.

In today's video I talk about how we store emotion in the music that we listened to at school.

Both the music that we liked and the music we didn't like.

A really fascinating exploration of music therapy to heal childhood trauma.

For the full podcast you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/NYTA8dm6X6g

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today on the podcast I welcome back author and psychotherapist Rod Boothroyd as we revisit the archetype of the Sovereign, King or the Queen. 

The Sovereign is the part of us that is responsible for vision, power, potency, blessing ourselves and others, and bringing order to our internal and external worlds. The King is also the part of us responsible for the spiritual side of our lives. 

Today Rod goes deeper into the subject of the King archetype with the release of his new book, Finding The King Within. What are the positive aspects and what are the shadows? How do we connect to this energy in a benevolent way? 

--- 

Rod Boothroyd is a counsellor, psychotherapist, a certified “Healing The Shadow” practitioner and the author of the books Warrior, Magician, Lover, King – a guide to the male archetypes updated for the 21st century and Finding The King Within. 

He works with men, women and mixed groups to heal the wounds of childhood with Marianne Hill and also trains people in the art of working with the shadow and healing emotional wounds.

Some of the questions for Rod: 

1. What is the King or Sovereign archetype?
2. What makes a balanced and mature King?
3. In writing the book you talk about 41 different qualities and values that a mature King embodies. What for you are 5 of the most important qualities that we need to cultivate?
4. What are the shadows of the archetypes?
5. What are the specific shadows of the King archetype?
6. I would love you to speak more about the importance of emotional intelligence in the realm of the sovereign? Why is it so important? If we don't have access to our emotions how might that affect the relationship to our sovereign?
7. “Many men today are really a kind of adolescent “boy-man”, arrested in development between boyhood and mature masculinity.”( p.7) Could you please talk to this. How do we move into mature masculinity?
8. What would you say is the key emotion of the King and why is this emotion so important for a mature male? What are some ways of embodying this emotion?
9. Could you please talk about stewardship and the connection to the sovereign archetype?
10. How do we cultivate the King - what are the steps that we can take to embody the King more fully in our lives?
11. You give 20 different ways of embodying the King energy. Which of these methods are the most relevant to today's man? If someone was to start with 5 practices what would you start them out with?

#kingwarriormagicianlover #kingarchetype #rodboothroyd 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In Episode 158 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Peter Sykes — humanitarian, strategist, writer and author of Somewhere Never Home.

Peter has led major humanitarian responses across the world, but in this conversation we explore the deeply personal side of his story.

We talk about growing up as a third culture kid, being sent to boarding school at age 10, identity loss, addiction, achievement, emotional suppression, and the long path of healing.

This is an honest, moving and hopeful conversation for anyone interested in childhood trauma, boarding school syndrome, recovery, leadership and emotional wellbeing.

We Explore:

•  Boarding school and abandonment 
•  Addiction as a response to pain 
•  Achievement and perfectionism 
•  Emotional suppression and intimacy 
•  Third culture kids and belonging 
•  Recovery, therapy and mindfulness 
•  Why it’s never too late to heal 

A powerful episode with depth, wisdom and humanity.

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

I begin today with a heart felt quote from Minnie Driver in her book, Managing Expectations.

She talks about phoning her mother to come and pick her up.

Her mother ignores her.

So today I wanted to read through 10 biographies of well-known people and their stories of feeling like they were captive or “counting down the days like prisoners” as Bear Grylls puts it.

I share the words of John Rentoul's biography of Tony Blair where he tells the story of how he tried to run away.

I talk about how Clive Woodward, the former England Rugby manager and World Cup winner ran away 3 times from his boarding school only to be sent back each time by his father.

Other biographies include: Stephen Fry, John Peel, Roald Dahl, Christine Jack, Jack Whitehall and Jeremy Paxman.

What a fascinating subject.

#captivity #prison #boardingschool

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Why do some of our political, business, and societal leaders seem to have such disdain and in some cases almost hatred for the everyday person?

Where might these attitudes come from?

Where does the sense of entitlement, and even looking down on those that they serve arise from?

I was reading Jeremy Paxman's autobiography A Life in Questions last night. 

I came across a passage where he talks about his prep boarding school.

He sees the headmaster's son set light to the moors. Once the police come the son blames the local “teddy” boys 'who were blamed for just about everything that went wrong in the school.'

As George Orwell wrote in The Road to Wigan Pier: 'Common people seemed almost subhuman.'

In today's video I share about some of my own similar experiences at boarding school. 

How we looked down upon the porters, the cleaners and saw them as less than human.

I also talk about Nick Duffell from Wounded Leaders asking: 'Could it be that the British working class as an entire group have been suffering from projective identification from the upper classes?'

'Have they been standing in for the stupid, messy, incompetent children the latter wish to distance themselves from in their own collective psyche?'

I also share some of Richard Beard's thoughts from Sad Little Men.

#workingclass #disdain #leaders

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What is love addiction also known as limerence? 

And what is intergenerational trauma? How does that pass from generation to generation?

Today I am speaking with a psychotherapist who originally trained as a medical doctor.

His speciality is working with people around relationships and limerence.

Today he shares his journey at boarding school and how he ran away, never to come back.

He also talks about his father's experiences of the Nazi concentration camps and how this trans-generational trauma was passed onto him.

He talks about how we can start to heal from love addictions.

Really fascinating. Thank you David.

---

Dr. David Perl originally qualified as a medical practitioner from St. Thomas’ Hospital, London in 1984. He then went on to create and develop docleaf one of the UK’s most successful crisis management consultancies.He holds qualifications in Leadership Coaching and is a qualified psychotherapist and is experienced in hypnotherapy and NLP. 

Questions for Dr Perl:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. I would love for you to talk a little about your boarding school experiences. What happened?
3. I would love for you to speak to intergenerational trauma. What is it and how does it impact people?
4. Could you please speak to limerence. What is it? How is it linked to childhood trauma? How do we heal from limerence?
5. Could you please talk about relationships? What are some of the most common problems that you see when you are working with couples?
6. How do people find out more about your work?
7. Other areas to talk about:

• Emotional benign neglect
• Parenting and Daniel Mac
• All trauma is relational
• Leadership
• Attachment theory, trauma and boarding school

To find out more about Dr Perl's work: https://themarriedtherapists.com/

Or here: https://limerence.net/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What was it like to go to boarding school at age 7?

And how did that impact my guest's adult life?

From addictions, to breakdown and then path of recovery to finding purpose, my guest today shares his own journey. 

In today's episode I am speaking with Chris Braitch who is the director of the not for profit, Seen & Heard, which supports the emotional wellbeing of past pupils of boarding and independant schools.

He talks about his boarding school years: bullying, dissociation, and trauma.

And he shares how he recovered and how he has now found purpose in life.

A very inspiring and heart-felt episode.

---

Chris Braitch is a father of 3 first and foremost. He is also a 1-2-1 and organisational coach, speaker, and founding director of the not for profit Seen & Heard. Seen & Heard supports the emotional well being of ex-pupils of boarding and independent day schools, and their families.  Chris has found his calling supporting others on their journey to healing and joy, utilising his diverse life experiences, and professional skills learned over a 20-year career in sales, marketing, and management at some of the world’s largest food companies.

Questions for Chris:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. I would love for you to share some of your boarding journey. What was it like?
3. Could you please share your path of healing? What things have you tried and what really worked for you?
4. You have worked with me for a couple of years. How has that experience been?
5. You are part of the charity Seen and Heard. What do you do and what is your mission?
6. You were part of the Coming Home retreat as part of the documentary. How was that for you?
7. What is next for you?
8. How do people find out more about you?

For more infromation about Seen and Heard please visit: https://seenheard.org.uk/

To find out more about Chris' one to one work: https://growthwave.uk/

#childhoodtrauma #booardingschoolsyndrome #seen&heard #trauma #healingtrauma

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Today I wanted to share some of the experiences of John F Kennedy at boarding school. 

I share from his biography called Kennedy, An Unfinished Life. 

Kennedy went to boarding school from age 13 to Canterbury in the US.

And then age 14 he went to Choate School. 

I share his experiences of homesickness, being a rebel and being close to being expelled and having a family which had very high expectations of him. 

I also talk about some of the illnesses he struggled with at boarding school. 

Taken from the biography by Robert Dallek called Kennedy, An Unfiinished Life: https://amzn.eu/d/61Zn6DL 

Take care, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

At just 13-years-old, Connor was burned over 90% of his body with third degree burns and given less than a 1% chance of survival after a backyard explosion. After three months in a medically induced coma, nearly two years of painful rehabilitation, and more than 100 surgeries over a decade, Connor emerged triumphantly; not only to walk again, but to live his best life. 

Despite his physical and emotional trauma, Connor went on to pursue his dreams of playing Division I lacrosse and then worked as a lacrosse coach for an elite program. His deep passion for sports and coaching youth inspired him to create the “MAC Mentality”, his approach in navigating life confidently and authentically. Connor is now a motivational speaker and published author of the book “Life Ignited: A Hopeful Journey, Sparked By Fire”. 

Questions for Connor:

1. I would love for you to share your journey. It sounds heart-breaking and inspiring. What happened?
2. What was your personal experience of navigating life after your accident?
3. For people who have been through challenging childhoods, what advice would you share?
4. If you were to teach a class on overcoming childhood trauma what would you teach?
5. How did you develop mental resilience?
6. What is the Mac Mentality?
7. Could you please talk about courage. How do we cultivate it?
8. What advice could you share share on how to maintain confidence?
9. Many teenagers seem to be struggling at the moment with their mental and emotional health, what advice would you give them?
10. How has your approach to life has changed the lives of many? 
11. How do people find out more about you?

To reach out to Connor or to learn more: https://macmentality.com/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What are the 5 basic components of great leadership? 

Last week I talked about why boarding school doesn't create good leaders drawing upon the work of Nick Duffell's Wounded Leaders and Kouzes and Posner's The Leadership Challenge: https://youtu.be/VNMQpTyO1h8 

Today I wanted to explore the work of Warren Benis in his book on Becoming A Leader. 

What are the 5 key ingredients that all good leaders have? 

I also share some of the work of Simon Sinek in his book Leaders Eat Last. 

What helps you become a great leader? 

Warm regards, Piers 

#leadershipdevelopment #leadership #warrenbenis #simonsinek 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

A fascinating discussion today with an ER medical doctor about her time in boarding school and how that affected her mental health. 

She shares how she spent time in mental hospitals and was tried on 35 different medications.

Eventually she was given brain surgery for her depression.

She talks about the impact trauma had on her and the path of healing.

A very inspiring and heart breaking story.

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Cathy Wield was born into a British Diplomatic Service family in India in 1959. She spent most of her childhood overseas in different locations until she commenced training to become a doctor in London, UK. 

Most of her medical career was spent as an Emergency Physician with a short period working as a Psychiatrist. She started her post graduate training late, having decided to make family a priority, but this was interrupted twice by depression. The first episode was prolonged and severe and culminated in brain surgery. Her sudden, complete and miraculous recovery astonished the medical profession and is documented in her first book, Life After Darkness (Radcliffe 2006).

But in fact that was not the end of it, and within a year of publication she was re-admitted to a mental hospital during another emotional crisis. It is from this point on that she started to question her psychiatric treatment and look at the real reasons behind her mental health problems. The sequel and re-write to the first memoir: 

 ‘Unshackled Mind; a doctor’s journey of trauma, liberation & healing’ will be published in February 2025, and available for pre-order from The Book Guild this autumn. 

Questions for Cathy:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk us through your boarding school experiences. How were they for you?
3. Could you please talk to your experiences of psychiatry? What happened?
4. Could you please talk about emotional neglect. Why do you feel boarding school is emotional neglect?
5. Other areas to talk about:

• Severe depression
• The link between mental health and trauma
• Mental health in this country
• Self-harm and suicide
• The path of recovery
• The experience of the Coming Home retreat
• Your experiences with the church as outlined in Thorn in my Mind

For more information please visit: https://cathywield.com/

To purchase her books: https://amzn.eu/d/7kH174Z

And a powerful article about her journey with mental health: https://www.madintheuk.com/2021/11/labels-that-stick/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I draw upon the work of leadership experts James Kouzes and Barry Posner in their book The Leadership Challenge and Nick Duffell in his book Wounded Leaders. 

What are 5 reasons according to science that those who go to boarding school make bad leaders? 

Based on the article by Nick Duffell in the Guardian in 2014: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2014/jun/09/boarding-schools-bad-leaders-politicians-bullies-bumblers 

I talk about the lack of love, emotional intelligence, flexibility of the brain, not being able to interpret facial signals and others. 

Any questions please do let me know. 

#leadershipdevelopment #leaders #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool 

Warm regards, 

Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What is emotional neglect? And how might that link to boarding schools?

Today I am speaking with psychotherapist and author, Graham Music, who attended boarding school from age 9.

He talks about what trauma is, dissociation and neglect.

And he dives deep into emotional neglect. What is it and how might it show up in a boarding school setting? Why might neglect go unnoticed?

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Graham Music is a psychotherapist, trainer, author and supervisor. He is a Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist at the Tavistock Centre where he has worked for over 20 years, and he has been an adult Psychotherapist for about 35 years. He supervises and teaches nationally and internationally and has a particular interest in linking cutting-edge developmental findings with therapeutic practice.

Formerly Associate Clinical Director of the Tavistock Clinic’s Child and Family Department, he has developed many innovative programs, including setting up services in over 40 schools and a range of services working with the aftermath of child maltreatment and neglect. His clinical specialty for decades been understanding and working with trauma. 

#neglect #emotionalneglect #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool

Some questions for Graham:

1. I would love for you to share about how you got into the work you now do?
2. I would love to hear about your boarding school experiences
3. How can we re-spark hope and joy after being through trauma?
4. Your thoughts on dissociation
5. The importance of emotional development. What happens to a child when we are not emotionally nurtured?
6. Your thoughts on neglect - what it is and how does it impact children?
7. Could you please speak to emotional neglect. Why is it so damanging?
8. The importance of the body in therapeutic work. The work of Wilhelm Reich and somatic healing.
9. Anger and trauma. What to do when anger starts to arise in us. Why is that a hopeful sign?
10. How do we cultivate resilience?
11. How to people learn more about you?

To find out more about Graham and his work: http://www.nurturingnatures.co.uk/

sign-up for newsletter https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/sign-up/

twitter  @grahammusic1

linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/

Books https://amzn.eu/d/c5hNFtg 

Journal articles https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/publications/journals/ 

Book chapters https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/publications/book-chapters/ 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In this short solo episode, I reflect on one of the deepest impacts of boarding school:

The loss of identity.

What happens when children learn that their name, hobbies, feelings and individuality are not safe?

Drawing on my recent conversation with Peter Sykes, I explore how institutional environments shape children into survival personalities — the complier, the rebel or the crushed child.

We also look at why many adults later struggle to know what they truly want, and how we can begin reconnecting with our authentic selves.

In This Episode:

•  Identity loss at boarding school 
•  Names, shame and conformity 
•  Strategic survival personalities 
•  Why authenticity gets buried 
•  How to reconnect with who you really are 
•  Journaling and healing practices 

A thoughtful and practical episode for anyone exploring boarding school trauma, identity and recovery.

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

I often hear from people who went to boarding school – “Nothing happened to me.”

What they mean is that they weren't abused, beaten or sexually abused.

I then ask, did you see or hear beatings, violence, bullying or abuse?

Most reply, yes.

So the research around mirror neurons is now showing that the person who witnesses violence whether that be at home or at school will feel it, mirror it in their own brains.

Today I draw upon the work of psychiatrists, Dr Judith Herman in her book Trauma and Recovery, Dr Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps The Score and Dr Paul Miller.

What are mirror neurons?

What happens to us when we witness other people being hurt?

I also quote from Boris Johnson's biography, Just Boris by Sonia Purnell about he felt when he heard younger boys being beaten at his boarding school Ashdown House and David Cameron's For The Record.

#mirrorneurons #boardingschooltrauma #boardingschool #childhoodtrauma

Take care,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Is it possible to heal from childhood trauma?.

What if we had a really tough upbringing which included abuse, neglect and possibly even boarding school.

Can we heal?

What if we've tried everything but nothing is really working. 

What can we do?

In today's conversation I am speaking with the founder of Realm Theory, Roslyn Snyder.

We talk about her work helping those that have been through trauma heal.

A really engaging and thought-provoking conversation.

Thank you Roslyn.

---

RoslynSnyder is the creator of books, experiential trainings and a practising psychologist. After a career in applied medical science, Roslyn Snyder graduated with first class honours in psychology in 1995 focussed on psycho-neurobiology and psychometrics. In 2017 she published Realm Theory and is now in the process of operationalising Realm Theory.

Questions for Roslyn:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What was your childhood like and how did that impact your line of work?
2. I would love for you to talk about realm theory. What is it?
3. Could you please speak to the path of healing. Can we heal? What is the path of healing?
4. I would love you to talk about the Aboriginal culture. How does it differ from the Western school of thought? What can we learn from them?
5. Other areas to talk about:

• Aboriginal boarding schools
• The Map
• Nature, place and purpose
• The nature of patterns
• The importance of elders
• The Aboriginal way of bringing up children
• Leadership – what you teach leaders

#childhoodtrauma #trauma #traumaandrecovery #recoveryfromtrauma

To find out more about Rosylyn's work: https://wisdominyourlife.com.au

Or here: https://roslynsnyder.com/

To connect with her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/roslyn-snyder-5552a15b/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Leaders and Burnout. What are the symptoms of burnout?

In my 20s, I had a breakdown and burnt out. I was working in London. 

I had a job in sales and essentially lost motivation and drive. 

I was selling big ticket items in the financial sector.

Some weeks I only sold one product a week. It felt exhausting.

Eventually it got so bad, I couldn't even get out of bed. 

So I went through a period of a few years of burnout. 

And I see in the work I do with my clients, a lot of my clients have come to me with burnout.

They're struggling. They are really chronically stressed. 

The common theme for my clients is that they also went to boarding school as well. 

And I find that this is a common overlap, this burnout for ex-boarders.

Why? We struggle to stop. 

So what are the symptoms according to Emma Seppala PhD in her book The Happiness Track?

• being cynical,
• critical at work, 
• dragging yourself to work, and having a hard time motivating yourself once there
• becoming irritable or impatient with colleagues or clients, 
• lacking the energy needed to be productive, 
• lacking satisfaction when you achieve something, 
• and feeling disillusioned with your work. 

Do you resonate with any of these?

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/