An Evolving Man Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

Why do so many politicians, business leaders and influential public figures come from boarding schools?

In this fascinating conversation, I sit down with researcher, author and podcaster Dominic Waterson to explore the hidden influence of childhood experiences, elite education and institutional culture on leadership and power.

Drawing on years of research for his book Traitors: The Pandemic Politicians, Dominic examines the backgrounds of figures including Boris Johnson, Tony Blair, David Cameron, Justin Welby and many others.

Together we explore:

• Why boarding schools appear repeatedly in the backgrounds of political leaders

• The relationship between childhood trauma and leadership

• How institutional cultures shape beliefs, behaviours and decision-making

• Boris Johnson's early years and boarding school experience

• Tony Blair, Fettes College and the influence of elite education

• Why some leaders struggle with authenticity and emotional intelligence

• The impact of power, privilege and social conditioning

• How childhood experiences continue to influence leadership in adulthood

This conversation is not about political parties.

It is about understanding how childhood experiences, education and institutional culture can shape the people who ultimately lead nations, organisations and communities.

Whether you are interested in leadership, psychology, emotional intelligence, trauma, boarding school syndrome or the structures of power, this episode offers a thought-provoking perspective on how leaders are formed.

If you enjoy the conversation, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who may find it valuable.

Website:
www.piers-cross.com

#BoardingSchoolSyndrome #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PoliticalLeadership #Trauma #ChildhoodTrauma #DominicWaterson #AnEvolvingManPodcast

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 For the workshop: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-conversations-youre-not-having-tickets-1991361811785?aff=oddtdtcreator&keep_tld=true 

Many leaders, entrepreneurs and former boarders avoid the conversations that matter most.

Not because they don't know what needs to be said.

But because somewhere deep in the nervous system, speaking up still feels dangerous.

In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, I explore why so many of us avoid difficult conversations, where this pattern originates, and how early experiences such as boarding school, emotional neglect, bullying, criticism or trauma can shape our ability to communicate honestly and set healthy boundaries.

We explore:

• Why difficult conversations can feel frightening
 • How boarding school conditioning teaches silence and compliance
 • The link between trauma, people-pleasing and conflict avoidance
 • Why resentment builds when we don't speak up
 • The role of emotional intelligence in courageous leadership
 • How to have difficult conversations without aggression or blame
 • The importance of nervous system regulation before speaking
 • Using "I statements" instead of projection
 • Why boundaries and conversations are deeply connected
 • Practical steps to start speaking more truthfully

Whether you're a leader, entrepreneur, former boarder, coach, parent or someone who struggles to speak up, this episode offers practical insights to help you communicate with greater confidence, authenticity and compassion.

If this episode resonates, please like, subscribe and share.

To learn more about Compassionate Leaders Global:

https://www.compassionateleadersglobal.com

To learn more about my work:

https://www.piers-cross.com

#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #BoardingSchoolSyndrome #TraumaHealing #DifficultConversations #CompassionateLeadership #Relationships #PersonalDevelopment

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

In Episode 159 of An Evolving Man Podcast, I’m joined by Professor Helen Odell-Miller OBE, one of the UK’s leading pioneers in music therapy.

Helen has spent decades working with trauma, attachment, mental health and emotional healing through music. She also worked closely with the late Joy Schaverien, whose work on boarding school syndrome transformed the conversation around early separation and institutional trauma.

In this episode we explore:

•  What music therapy is and how it works 
•  Why music can help where words cannot 
•  Helen’s own boarding school experience 
•  Joy Schaverien’s ABCD model 
•  Hidden abandonment and dissociation 
•  Why resilience is often misunderstood 
•  How music can support connection, regulation and healing 

A thoughtful and powerful conversation.

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 To join the webinars and to receive the recordings please visit here: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ 

The film is due for release on the 15th March at midday and will stay live for one week. 

#boardingoninsanity #boardingschoolsyndrome #childhoodtrauma #drgabormate

Take care,

Piers

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Thank you so much to everyone who came to the London premiere of the new documentary Boarding On Insanity. 

To register for the live webinars please put your name in here: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ 

Webinars are on 5th, 10th and 13th March. 

To join you will need to put your name on the email list and you will be sent the link to the webinar. 

These will be recorded so those on the email list will receive the recordings. 

Take care, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Today I am speaking with psychotherapist, Toby Ingham, about his new book, A Guilty Victim. A Guilty Victim tells the true story of an English boy’s recovery from grooming and sexual abuse at a Catholic boarding school in Ireland in the 1970s. It is a contemporary account of psychotherapy with an adult survivor, written with the client’s full consent. A big thank you to Chris Bratich of Seen and Heard for connecting us.

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Toby Ingham is a BPC & UKCP registered psychotherapist & supervisor, member of The British Psychotherapy Foundation, The Association of Independent Psychotherapists, and BAPPS. Former Clinical Director of South Bucks Counselling (2019-2023). He has 25 years of experience working with people, dealing with depression, low mood, anxiety states, trauma, bereavement, addictions, and emotional instability.  Before setting up his psychotherapy practice in Oxford, he trained in NHS at St Barts’ Hospital, and at the Homerton Hospital in London.  He is a former staff psychotherapist at Nightingale Hospital and trained at Promis Addiction Centre and Age Concern.

Questions for Toby:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What lead you into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about your book, A Guilty Victim? What drew you to write it?
3. What do you feel is different about this book from other boarding school and therapeutic books?
4. What happened to your client at school? 
5. How did your client learn to cope? Do you feel that this process of coping is good for the psyche. If yes, why? If not, why not?
6. Why is it that we, as ex-boarders struggle to fit in outside of school? Both as children and as adults? (P.88)
7. And you mention that your client would try and take responsibility for the mood in the house? (P.88). Why do we do that as children?
8. Where there any specific symptoms of his trauma that showed up in adult life?
9. What do you feel makes the psychotherapeutic relationship so important in healing boarding school and childhood trauma wounds?
10. What changes did you see in your client as he moved through the therapeutic process with you?
11. What did you learn over the years that you worked with your client?
12. What do you feel about boarding schools?
13. How do people learn more about your work?

#childhoodtrauma#boardingschoolsyndrome#grooming#traumarecovery

To find out more about Toby's work please visit: www.tobyingham.com

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 Today I talk about two important events. 

One is my wife, Michelle Dawn Silcox's, funeral. 

And the other is the Boarding On Insanity documentary premiere in 3 days time, 1st March in London: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

I also talk about the webinars starting on the 5th March with special guests, Prof Joy Schaverien, Dr Suzanne Zeedyk and Dr Warren Larkin. 

And then on the 10th March we will be interviewing Zena Me, Martin Lloyd-Elliott and Nick Duffell. 

To register for those events you can do so here: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ 

Thanks for all your support and kind words.

See you soon, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

Myles Katz is a pioneer in the field of legal psychedelics, blending personal experience with professional innovation to advance mental health and personal transformation. As the founder and executive director of Confluence Retreats, he leads immersive, multi-day psilocybin retreats in Oregon’s Cascade-Siskiyou National Monument. These retreats offer a legal, structured, and profoundly transformative experience, tailored for individuals seeking personal growth, emotional breakthroughs, and spiritual development in a safe and nurturing environment. 

Questions for Myles:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about some of the research from University College London about psilocybin? What did they find out?
3. Many people are curious but hesitant about psychedelics. What would you say to someone who is nervous about taking that first step?
4. You often talk about moving from “functioning to flourishing.” Can you share how psychedelics help individuals make that transition?
5. What role does integration—such as therapy, mindfulness, or community—play in maximizing the benefits of a psychedelic experience?
6. Psychedelics are often associated with mental health treatments. How do you see their role expanding beyond mental health into personal growth and creativity?
7. What common misconceptions about psychedelics would you like to address, especially for people who may still view them through a stigmatized lens?
8. What advice would you give to someone considering a psychedelic retreat for personal or spiritual development, and how can they prepare for the experience?
9. How do you balance honoring indigenous traditions while offering a modern and legal psychedelic experience at your retreats?
10. How do people find out more about your work?

To find out more about Myles' work: https://www.confluenceretreats.org/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

 A few reflections about the death of my wife. 

How has the last week been? 

I share some of my grief. 

And I talk about the documentary premiere in 10 days time in London at the Rio in Dalston: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

We have decided to go ahead with the premiere as my wife was so supportive of the film.

Take care,

Piers

#boardingoninsanity #grief #loss #boardingschoolsyndrome 

https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/ 

What is the importance of emotional intelligence in leaders?

And why do so many leaders feel isolated, lonely and struggling with burn out?

Today, Pete Hunt, founder of Monumental, a network for growth focused leaders talks about his boarding school experiences.

What was the legacy he left boarding school with?

And how did it affect him as a leader?

An authentic and heart-felt conversation.

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Pete Hunt is a leading men's group facilitator, podcast host and meditation teacher. He is also the founder of Monumental, which is a network for growth focused leaders.

Questions for Pete:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What were your experiences like at boarding school? How did those experiences impact you as an adult?
3. What do you see and hear in men in who were being educated in Boarding Schools in the 1980’s and 90’s?
4. Could you please speak about the work you do with Monumental? What do you do?
5. What is the key issue with men's mental health at the moment? What can we start to do to change this?
6. Other areas to talk about:
   1. The importance of community and connection
   2. Isolation
   3. Loneliness
   4. Accountability
   5. Emotional intelligence
   6. Bullying
7. How do people find more about your work?

To find out more about Pete's work please visit: https://petehunt.com/ or www.monumental.global

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. 

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. 

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross 

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic 

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community 

Many blessings, 

Piers Cross 

http://piers-cross.com/