Unhooked is a podcast dedicated to helping people break free from porn addiction and other compulsive behaviors related to the internet, sex, and intimacy. Rooted in Buddhist wisdom, neuroscience, coaching, and mindfulness, the show explores practical strategies for lasting recovery and personal transformation. Each episode features leading experts, scientists, coaches, and individuals in recovery, sharing their insights, experiences, and expertise to guide listeners on their path to healing and freedom.
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Données mises à jour le 10/11/2026
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🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it.
Have you ever tried to quit porn, made progress for a few days or weeks, and then found yourself right back where you started?
Maybe you've promised yourself you'll never watch it again. Maybe you've tried relying on willpower, avoiding anything that triggers you, or being harder on yourself every time you slip up.
But what if some of those approaches are actually making recovery more difficult?
In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I'm revisiting eight of the most common mistakes I see people make when trying to break free from porn addiction.
The idea for this episode actually came to me at a climbing gym in Amsterdam. I was helping a friend who was new to climbing, pointing out a few beginner mistakes that were making the climb unnecessarily difficult.
It got me thinking about recovery.
Just like climbing, breaking free from porn isn't only about trying harder. Sometimes, the biggest difference comes from recognizing what isn't working and learning a better way forward.
In this episode, we explore:
Why treating sexual desire as something shameful can reinforce the very cycle you're trying to escape
How to experience cravings and uncomfortable emotions without suppressing them or automatically acting on them
Why building supportive environments, meaningful relationships, and healthier routines is more sustainable than relying on willpower alone
How to recognize the deeper emotional needs that porn may be helping you avoid, so you don't simply replace one compulsive habit with another
Why setbacks don't have to erase your progress, and how vulnerability, support, and accountability can help you get back on track
One of the most important lessons I've learned is that recovery isn't about becoming someone who never struggles.
It's about learning to respond differently when challenges arise, becoming more honest with yourself, and building a life you no longer feel the need to escape from.
If you've been trying to quit porn but keep finding yourself stuck in the same patterns, this episode will help you recognize what might be getting in your way.
What happens when you finally quit porn, but the shame, secrecy, and distance in your relationship are still there?
For many men, quitting porn feels like the finish line. Stop watching, stay consistent, and everything else should eventually fall into place.
But I've seen how much more complicated recovery can be.
Porn often becomes a way to escape uncomfortable feelings. Stress, loneliness, insecurity, or simply not wanting to deal with what's happening in our lives. And when that habit starts affecting a relationship, the consequences don't necessarily disappear just because the behavior stops.
In this special reshare from Relationship Renovation, I join couples therapists Tarah and EJ Kerwin to explore what genuine recovery looks like, especially when trust and intimacy have been affected.
We talk about why porn use can become compulsive, what keeps people trapped in cycles of shame, and how to begin making changes that go deeper than maintaining a streak.
In this episode, we explore:
How to recognize when porn use has moved beyond occasional pleasure and become a way of avoiding difficult emotions
Why constant novelty and unrealistic sexual expectations can create challenges with attraction and intimacy in real relationships
How to use the RAIN mindfulness practice to recognize cravings, allow uncomfortable feelings, investigate what's underneath them, and respond with greater self-compassion
Why couples need honest conversations about boundaries and broken agreements rather than assuming they share the same expectations around pornography
How accountability and emotional awareness help rebuild self-respect while creating space for healthier relationships
One of the most important things I've learned is that recovery isn't just about what you stop doing. It's about how you learn to show up for yourself and the people you care about.If you've been working hard to quit porn but still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns, I hope this conversation helps you see what the next part of recovery can look like.
Do Porn Urges Ever Go Away? | Jeremy Lipkowitz Interview on on Thriving with Addiction
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
What if the freedom you're looking for isn't just about quitting porn, but reaching a point where you no longer feel the need to turn to it?
For years, I was chasing happiness in all the places I thought I was supposed to find it. Success, relationships, sex, pleasure. On the outside, things seemed to be going well. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction and a growing sense that something was missing.
I remember reaching a point in college when I started questioning everything. If I was getting the things I wanted, why wasn't I happy? And if I kept living this way, would I ever be?
That question eventually led me to meditation, Buddhist philosophy, and a completely different understanding of what it means to live a fulfilling life.
In this special reshare from Thriving with Addiction, I join host Dr. John Avery to talk about that journey, the role shame played in keeping my struggles hidden, and what I've learned about genuine freedom in recovery.
In this episode, we explore:
How early experiences of sexual shame can teach us to hide behaviors rather than understand them, creating patterns that follow us into adulthood
Why addressing the underlying craving for relief matters more than focusing exclusively on porn or any single addictive behavior
What years of silent meditation retreats taught me about experiencing uncomfortable emotions without immediately escaping them
Why finding a nonjudgmental community can be more effective than relying on motivation alone, especially when the initial excitement of quitting wears off
What Buddhists call the bliss of blamelessness, and why living without secrecy can bring a deeper sense of peace than simply maintaining a streak
One of the most encouraging things I've experienced is that recovery doesn't have to feel like an endless fight. With time and practice, the urges that once seemed impossible to resist can become less frequent and easier to navigate.
Mastering the Art of Overcoming Urges: 8 Strategies to Help You Quit Watching Porn (Rebroadcast)
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it.
You've decided to quit porn. You're feeling motivated, you've set your goals, and you're ready to change. But then an urge hits, and suddenly all that determination feels a lot harder to hold on to.
What do you actually do in that moment?
In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I break down eight practical strategies for dealing with cravings, including how to make urges less likely to arise and what to do when they show up anyway.
One of the biggest mistakes people make in recovery is relying entirely on willpower. But lasting change isn't about fighting every urge that comes your way. It's about creating an environment that supports your goals while developing the ability to experience cravings without automatically acting on them.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to identify your personal triggers and change the routines that keep pulling you back toward porn
Why simple changes to your environment, including where you keep your phone, can make recovery easier
How mindfulness creates space between experiencing an urge and choosing what to do next
What urge surfing is and how to practice it without fighting or suppressing your cravings
When to use physical movement, cold showers, or support from another person to get through a difficult moment
The goal isn't to spend the rest of your life avoiding temptation. It's to build the freedom to choose how you respond, even when an urge is strong.
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
What happens when something you turn to for pleasure slowly starts shaping the way you see yourself, your relationships, and the world around you?
In this reshare from Wake Up with Marci, I sit down with Marci Hopkins to share a part of my own story that changed the direction of my life.
On the outside, things were going well. I had good grades, friends, and plenty of opportunities ahead of me. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction, constantly chasing pleasure, and becoming increasingly dissatisfied with what I already had.
Then one day, walking down the street in my early twenties, I had a realization that scared me. I could suddenly see the kind of man I was becoming, and I knew I didn't want that future.
That moment led me to question everything I thought I knew about happiness, fulfillment, and what it actually means to be free.
In this episode, we explore:
Why porn can be especially difficult to quit, including the three factors that make it so accessible and habit-forming
How to recognize the difference between toxic shame that keeps you hiding and healthy remorse that helps you change
What I learned about happiness and neuroplasticity through Buddhist philosophy, and how it changed my approach to recovery
Why trying to empty your mind during meditation can actually reinforce self-judgment, and what to practice instead
What partners often misunderstand about porn addiction, and why understanding the behavior doesn't mean excusing the harm it causes
If you've ever wondered why changing a behavior can feel so difficult, or why getting what you want doesn't always make you happy, I think you'll find something valuable in this conversation.
How to Break Free From Porn & Sex Addiction | Ben Brown’s Recovery Story
lundi 5 octobre 2026 • Durée 01:05:13
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
In this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Ben Brown, host of The Shift podcast, to talk about his journey from years of compulsive sex, porn, validation-seeking, alcohol, and drugs into a life of recovery, purpose, and transformation.
Ben shares what his life looked like before recovery, including the constant pursuit of women, escalating porn use, partying, and the feeling that he was becoming someone he thought he needed to be.
We talk about the moments that finally made him realize something wasn't right, including a chance encounter with a stranger who told him how sex addiction had destroyed his life, and the experience that finally pushed Ben to walk into a recovery room.
We also get into what actually helped him change: community, mentors, faith, willpower, small daily habits, and finding something meaningful to put his energy into.
And Ben shares one of the biggest lessons from his recovery: you are not exempt. No matter how much shame you carry or how far gone you think you are, you can still change your life.
In this episode, you'll learn: - Why addiction can become a way of escaping discomfort and seeking validation - What finally pushed Ben to seek recovery after years of compulsive behavior - Why willpower can help in the early stages but isn't enough for long-term recovery - How small daily wins can build momentum and create lasting change - Why finding a “mountain to climb” can help redirect sexual and creative energy into something meaningful
Recovery doesn't happen all at once. Sometimes it starts with one small decision, one mentor, one meeting, or simply taking the first step.
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
Connect with Ben
Ben Brown / The Shift Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-shift-a-podcast-with-ben-brown/id1887649490
YouTube: The Shift Podcast with Ben Brown https://www.youtube.com/@theshiftpodcastwithbenbrownWebsite: The Shift with Ben Brown https://www.theshiftwithbenbrown.com/
Why Quitting Porn Doesn’t Fix the Real Problem | Jeremy Lipkowitz Interviewed on Sam's Healing Podcast
lundi 28 septembre 2026 • Durée 38:26
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
What if stopping porn isn't actually the thing that creates lasting recovery?
In this episode of Unhooked, I’m resharing a conversation I had on Sam’s Healing Podcast about porn addiction, recovery, and what it really takes to build lasting freedom.
We talk about why porn itself is often not the underlying problem, but instead a way of escaping uncomfortable emotions, stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, or other difficult experiences. I also explain why simply chasing a streak or practicing sobriety without doing the deeper inner work can leave the underlying issues untouched.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why sobriety alone isn't the same as recovery and why the underlying reasons behind the behavior matter - How porn can become a coping mechanism for stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, and other uncomfortable emotions - Why I describe meditation as strength training for the mind and how it can help build greater awareness and self-control - How the Reset → Rewire → Rebuild → Restore framework supports lasting transformation - Why learning to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it is an essential part of creating real freedom
If you're early in recovery and looking for a clear, grounded overview of what this work actually involves, this is a good place to start.
Ready to start your recovery?
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
Timestamps:
00:00 Why Sobriety Isn’t Recovery
02:59 Welcome to Unhooked
03:37 Introducing Jeremy and Unhooked
04:47 Why I Created Unhooked
06:02 Why Do We Get Hooked on Porn?
09:05 Why Sobriety Alone Isn’t Enough
How to Heal After Infidelity: Honesty, Shame & Rebuilding Trust | Sam from Sam’s Healing Podcast
lundi 21 septembre 2026 • Durée 57:34
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
What does it actually take to heal after infidelity, and why does defensiveness make rebuilding trust so difficult?
In this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Sam from Sam's Healing Podcast to talk about infidelity, addiction, and what real recovery looks like after betrayal.
Sam shares his own journey after an affair that turned his life upside down. We talk about why radical honesty is the first step toward healing, how defensiveness gets in the way of rebuilding trust, and why taking ownership of your actions matters so much.
We also explore how childhood wounds can shape destructive coping patterns, the role of community and mentorship in recovery, and why healing looks different for every person and relationship.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why radical honesty is the first step in recovery - How defensiveness and blame-shifting get in the way of healing - The difference between guilt and shame - Why self-acceptance and accountability go hand in hand - What recovery looks like for both the unfaithful and betrayed partner - Why healing takes time and what makes rebuilding trust possible
If you're navigating addiction, infidelity, or the difficult process of rebuilding trust after betrayal, this conversation is for you.
Ready to start your recovery?
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
Connect with Sam:
Sam's Healing Podcast on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast and podcast platforms https://www.samshealingpodcast.com/
Timestamps:
00:00 Sam's story of despair and recovery
01:39 Episode introduction
03:32 Welcome to Unhooked
04:24 Sam's journey into recovery
08:44 Why radical honesty is the first step 12:53 Becoming a student of recovery and finding support19:48 Understanding childhood wounds and the roots of addiction24:08 The turning point: Feeling worthy of love30:04 Self-acceptance and doing the next right thing35:33 Balancing self-acceptance with personal growth40:27 Why people become defensive in recovery41:56 Shame, guilt, and taking responsibility45:46 What healing looks like for the betrayed partner49:59 How long does healing after infidelity take?52:38 Can couples truly heal after infidelity?55:34 Where to find Sam56:57 Closing thoughts
Sobriety Isn’t Recovery: Mindfulness, Choice, and Rewiring the Brain
dimanche 13 septembre 2026 • Durée 23:56
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
Interested in the Unhooked App? Join the waitlist here: https://unhookedapp.co/
Jeremy Lipkowitz reshared his appearance on The Therapy Brothers podcast, where Brendan and Tyler Patrick interview him about how meditation and mindfulness can support recovery. Jeremy explains why mindfulness does not have to conflict with religious faith, and why it is better understood as a practical way to train attention, awareness, and intentional choice. He breaks down the space between stimulus and response and how learning to access that space can help interrupt automatic reactions like craving, anger, fear, and judgment. The conversation also explores neuroplasticity and Jeremy’s “meadow” analogy for how repeated thoughts and behaviors strengthen mental pathways over time. They unpack the meaning of equanimity, why groundedness matters when facing both discomfort and temptation, and how even a simple breath-awareness practice can begin strengthening concentration, self-compassion, emotional regulation, and the ability to respond rather than react.
Chapters:
00:00 Why mindfulness matters in recovery
04:10 Welcome to the episode
04:54 Is meditation against religion?
06:40 What mindfulness really is
09:30 The mindset behind mindfulness-based recovery
13:36 How mindfulness helps with urges and reactions
14:14 Neuroplasticity: how the brain changes
17:01 The meadow analogy explained
18:22 What is equanimity?
20:29 How to begin meditating
23:09 Closing thoughts
How to Rebuild Trust After Betrayal and Porn Addiction | Brannon & Tyler Patrick (The Therapy Brothers)
lundi 7 septembre 2026 • Durée 01:04:30
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
Interested in the Unhooked App? Join the waitlist here: https://unhookedapp.co/
Jeremy Lipkowitz hosts Brannon and Tyler Patrick on Unhooked to discuss why sobriety and recovery are not the same thing. The brothers are licensed clinicians with about forty years of combined experience treating porn addiction and betrayal trauma, and they host The Therapy Brothers podcast. They explain why a heavy emphasis on sobriety is a prelude to relapse, why focusing on inputs beats chasing a streak, and why recovery worked for a spouse always collapses. Tyler breaks down their trust equation for rebuilding trust after betrayal: shame resiliency on both sides plus rigorous honesty, empathy, and consistent action over time. They also cover what real humility is, the hero's journey framework behind their men's program, healthy disclosure versus probation officer check-ins, and what a betrayed partner is really asking underneath the questions about details.
Chapters:
00:00:00 The energy that actually sustains recovery
00:01:01 The cave you fear to enter
00:01:50 Episode intro and the Unhooked app waitlist
00:04:35 Welcome Tyler and Brannon Patrick
00:05:42 Taking men from untrustworthy to trustworthy
00:06:55 What twenty years changed about their approach
00:10:32 How each brother found this work
Timestamps
00:00 Opening: Understanding Porn Addiction
01:20 Jeremy Introduces the Relationship Renovation Reshare
03:23 Unhooked Podcast Introduction
04:03 Relationship Renovation Introduces the Conversation
05:59 Jeremy's Personal Experience With Porn Addiction
06:57 Recognizing the Impact of Porn
07:56 How Porn Affects Attraction and Intimacy
11:14 When Does Porn Use Become an Addiction?
13:23 The Wake-Up Call That Changed Jeremy's Life
16:03 Discovering Mindfulness and Buddhist Philosophy
18:41 Why Porn Is Often an Emotional Coping Mechanism
21:24 The Accessibility of Porn and Its Effects on Relationships
25:00 Shame, Secrecy, and the Addiction Cycle
29:10 How Meditation Helps You Regain Control
31:53 Why Sobriety Isn't the Same as Recovery
33:03 Understanding Your Default Future
38:11 Introducing the RAIN Mindfulness Practice
39:13 Using RAIN to Work With Cravings
41:20 Getting on the Same Page With Your Partner
42:58 Why Recovery Must Be Your Own Choice
43:23 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn
45:49 Advice for Men and Their Partners
46:23 Finding Support Without Shame
47:38 Why Your Partner's Porn Use Isn't Necessarily About You
50:47 Why Opening Up Gets Easier With Practice
51:24 Where to Find Jeremy and Unhooked Academy
52:48 Jeremy's Closing Message
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com
If you're somewhere on that journey, I hope this conversation reminds you that there's more to recovery than just stopping a behavior. There's an entire life waiting to be lived.
Timestamps
00:00 Opening: How Shame and Addiction Begin
01:15 Introducing the Conversation With Dr. John Avery
02:20 The Unhooked App
03:14 Unhooked Podcast Introduction
03:53 Dr. John Avery Introduces Jeremy
04:35 Jeremy's Life in Thailand
05:21 How My Porn Addiction Started
07:06 Why Porn Became an Emotional Escape
09:00 Sexual Shame and Mixed Messages
10:11 Understanding the Root of Addiction
11:33 The Moment I Questioned My Happiness
13:17 How Buddhist Philosophy Changed My Perspective
15:23 Silent Retreats and Becoming a Buddhist Monk
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
Timestamps:
00:00 Jeremy's Story: When Porn Addiction Became a Problem
03:32 Welcome to Wake Up with Marci
05:36 How Jeremy's Porn Addiction Started
08:00 When Porn Began Taking Over His Mind
10:00 The Moment Jeremy Saw Where His Addiction Was Taking Him
12:16 Porn, Alcohol, and Other Forms of Escape16:52 How Porn Changed the Way Jeremy Viewed Women
20:06 When Does Porn Become a Problem?
22:29 The Three A's of Porn Addiction
24:32 Why Porn Can Be So Difficult to Quit
25:45 Understanding the Shame Cycle
29:22 Healthy Shame vs. Toxic Shame
31:27 Moral Shame and Moral Dread
33:19 Trauma, Insecurity, and Filling the Void
35:58 Searching for a Different Kind of Happiness
38:25 How Buddhism and Neuroplasticity Changed Jeremy's Life
41:22 Mindfulness, Meditation, and Recovery
43:51 Meditation as a Gym for the Mind
46:18 Why Meditation Isn't About Clearing Your Mind
47:13 Recovery Is More Than Sobriety
49:10 How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life
52:16 How to Start Meditating
53:03 Building a Practice of Gratitude
55:34 What Partners of Porn Addicts Need to Know
57:35 Porn Addiction as a Coping Mechanism
58:31 Where to Find Jeremy
59:06 You're Not Alone
01:01:29 Jeremy's Closing Message
11:09 Cross-Addictions and Replacing Unhealthy Habits
12:29 Meditation as Strength Training for the Mind
15:23 Different Types of Meditation
17:01 How to Let Go of the Performance Mindset
18:22 Why a Structured Meditation Practice Matters
20:04 The Four Phases of Recovery
21:28 Reset: Getting Clear on Where You’re Going
23:32 Rewire: Using Neuroplasticity for Change
25:04 Rebuild: Changing Your Environment and Habits
26:59 Restore: Building a Life of Fulfillment
28:42 Solitude vs. Isolation
30:14 Why We Run From Unpleasant Experiences
31:56 Learning to Sit With Discomfort
32:56 Why You Have to Take Ownership of Your Recovery
34:21 Can You Really Break Free?
36:27 Where to Learn More About Unhooked
37:21 Sam’s Closing Thoughts
37:56 Final Thoughts
00:14:08 Sobriety versus recovery
00:17:31 The paradox: does that mean relapse is fine?
00:20:28 Guys who do not know their sobriety date
00:22:17 When sobriety becomes a weapon
00:23:38 Trap one: getting humility backwards
00:24:54 Trap two: recovering for your spouse
00:28:31 Resentment, and turning your partner into your god
00:28:57 Why the instinct to perform makes sense
00:30:39 Corrective experiences and the challenges they run
00:35:30 The hero's journey
00:36:25 Tyler's map of energies, from coercion to love
00:39:05 When a man will not step over the threshold
00:42:26 The parable of the snake and the apples
00:44:53 Where rebuilding trust starts: rigorous honesty
00:46:11 When your partner draws a hard line
00:48:39 Disclosure, lines of defense, and check ins that work
00:49:03 The trust equation
00:51:43 What a betrayed partner is really asking
00:52:58 What actually needs to be disclosed
00:56:35 Harnessing sexuality instead of killing it
00:58:30 What they want couples to hear
01:03:03 Where to find Tyler and Brannon
01:03:45 Closing
The Therapy Brothers, for Unhooked listeners: therapybrothers.org/unhooked
Unhooked Academy: unhookedacademy.com
Unhooked app waitlist: unhookedapp.co
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