Where there's a willy, there's a way! Alice is joined by past guest & co-host Silvia Saige (@silviasaigexxx) and bestselling author Josh Sabarra (@JoshSabarra) to review the modernized gay porn parody remake of the 1980's classic, "9 to 5". Support us on Patreon!
Listen to Silvia's podcasts:
Sexy Funny Raw
Sexual Disorientation
Snag Josh's book's: Porn Again
Alice Vaughn 0:09
Welcome to Two girls one Mic Where were the porn version of Rotten Tomatoes but instead of tomatoes it's just a dick whether or not it's flat direct either coast, Alice Vaughn, and with me, I have actually a guest co host, Silvia sage. Hey, Sylvia, how you doing today? I'm fantastic. How are you? I am so good. And for listeners of the show. You guys might remember Sylvia from one of our earlier episodes, Pulp Fiction. Yes, we had such a good time and I know some of you are asking where's the fat? Well, Yvette is actually on medical leave for the fall. So we are bringing back some of your favorite past guests, co hosts and their friends. And we have a friend today. We have Josh Sahara. Wait, am I pronouncing your name?
Josh Sabarra 0:56
Who are you got it right on the first try.
Alice Vaughn 0:58
Yes. men say the same thing to me in bed.
Josh Sabarra 1:04
And here's Silvia is the professional. Yeah. Do you have such a good track record? Oh,
Alice Vaughn 1:09
wait, are we still talking about the podcast or in bed?
Josh Sabarra 1:13
I'll leave that up to the listeners.
Alice Vaughn 1:15
People are already looking for like the Yelp of like porn and sex. Right.
Silvia Saige 1:20
What is Alice's score? I wish I had a Yelp review of sex. I'd love to read it. Oh my god. Would we
Unknown Speaker 1:26
actually want that? I would. Yeah, I heard that one.
Josh Sabarra 1:29
I mean, isn't that what Twitter is? anyway? Really?
Silvia Saige 1:33
Kinda.
Alice Vaughn 1:35
I mean, yeah, I guess for one night stance. You know what, as long as it could be anonymous, because I feel like I would definitely be able to get better anonymous scores. Yeah, anonymous is the best way to go.
Josh Sabarra 1:45
Yeah. But what would the intent be of this website with this these to improve people's sexual performance? Or would it be to because you know, people are going to use it as a way to, you know, a punitive way to treat their acts like
Silvia Saige 1:58
I say, improve sexual performance. Because it's really hard to tell somebody to their face what they've done wrong, but it's really easy to tell your friend what they did wrong. So how easy would it be to tell the Yelp of sexuality what they did wrong? And then they could go read it and be like, Ah, this whole time, I thought I was doing that right. And you're like, Oh, you're so wrong.
Alice Vaughn 2:16
I thought I like they liked it when I gave t.
Silvia Saige 2:20
This whole time. everybody's like, Oh, it's too much. Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. Yeah, that's what I do when I don't like it. I'm like, Oh, it's too much stuff. Stop, stop.
Josh Sabarra 2:29
It's just too much pleasure for you to handle.
Silvia Saige 2:32
How much pleasure Yeah, you're killing me.
Alice Vaughn 2:36
But no, seriously, you're choking me too hard. I think you are killing. He almost broke my hyoid bone. Five stars felt like Cheryl marcher. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 2:46
Five stars.
Alice Vaughn 2:48
Five stars. So, Josh, you wrote a book also called porn again? Yeah. Okay. I'm really embarrassed. You sent me a copy and I haven't opened it. Oh my
Silvia Saige 2:58
god. It's so good. You have to Read it Alice. It's like, in a day. It's addicting.
Josh Sabarra 3:03
I mean, it doesn't come with a better cover quote than that. Yeah. Definitely asking Sylvia for a blurb for my third book. You got it.
Alice Vaughn 3:12
Okay, so you have enemies closer, which is your latest right?
Josh Sabarra 3:16
enemies closer. Yes. Which is a Hollywood bitchy fiction, Jackie Collins style type book. Yeah, I wanted to be, you know, sort of a contemporary take on those books that were very popular in the 80s. Things like Judith Krantz, I'll take Manhattan or Iris Rainer Dart the boys in the mail room, sort of a contemporary throwback, if that makes sense. And that came after porn again.
Alice Vaughn 3:41
What's porn again about for our audience.
Josh Sabarra 3:43
I tell people it's basically coming of age memoir about coming. So it's about coming into yourself coming out. You know, I sort of found my footing late. I was a late bloomer. I was a virgin until I was 31 years old. I've completely made up for lost time. You know, I was somebody who made my career my focus made everything around me my focus instead of my personal life and when I finally realized what I was sacrificing and and not even living my truth, and that's sort of what the books about and sort of coming to a place where I'm comfortable with myself and having to let go of the things that were keeping me from being myself and there there are a lot of factors It was my personal life, the kinds of friends I was choosing my career plastic surgery, my looks like everything that I was using to fill myself up other than the things that I should have been. I mean, that means different things to different people, but I was not making the right choices for myself.
Silvia Saige 4:37
I don't think any of us made the right choices for ourselves. Especially in our teens, and
Josh Sabarra 4:42
I guess we know after
Unknown Speaker 4:46
Oh, in hindsight, I fucked up my 20s Yeah,
Silvia Saige 4:48
I feel like the 20s are for fucking up and then your 30s or for fixing the things you fucked up in your 20s and then in your 40s you can finally enjoy it.
Josh Sabarra 4:56
Right. My problem is though is that I know had that period of time that 16 to 25 where people are making some of these choices, right? Because I started so late, so I sort of had a delayed adolescence. So I was behaving like I was 18 when I was 35. Right. So that's sort of part of the theme of the book. Yeah. How it's never too late to sort of step into your own skin.
Alice Vaughn 5:21
Oh, yes. I can't wait to read it. I hope
Unknown Speaker 5:25
you will.
Alice Vaughn 5:26
And I will link it in the show notes. So our audience can also read it right. So that's it. How did you meet Sylvia? It seems like you know, a lot of people in porn, and I know a lot of people in porn, but why do you know people in porn?
Josh Sabarra 5:38
Well, it's interesting. The reason that the book is called porn, again, is sort of in the message of the book, so I don't want to ruin it for readers. I did not work in the porn industry. But there is a reason why the book is called that and the role that porn played in my sort of finding myself. Because of that, I wound up doing some radio shows and some podcasts with some great people, one of whom was Jackie St. James, whom we know and love as one of the preeminent directors of adult entertainment. And Jackie had mentioned to me one time we were at dinner, and I think she had just done a movie with Sylvia. She knows I'm very particular about people I keep around me now. She said to me, You really need to meet Silvia sage. And I said, Okay, you know, I'd love to meet her sometime. Maybe I'll come by when you're shooting. Then piers Paris, who's a friend of mine, who we're going to discuss today. He, we know because he did a photo, a promotional photo shoot with me for my book, and he and I became friends. And he and Sylvia are friends. And he and I were having dinner one night, and he said to me, you know, who you would love stage. So now we have the second person who knows me fairly well, who's telling me I need to know her. And then our other mutual friend Sean, who works on some of Jackie's movies and I believe just made his directorial debut that you're in. So yes, he did. Yeah. And he said to me, You Have to meet Silvia stage. So by the time the third person whom you owe interest tells you that you need to have somebody in your life, you need to set about making contact. And I think they know exactly how he texted me and she said, Is it okay if I just give Sylvia your number? And so I said, Of course so Sylvia texted me that day. She's like, Are you free for dinner tonight? And I'm like, it just so happens I am. And Silvia and I had a love affair began.
Silvia Saige 7:24
It's so true. You know, it's funny Alice's people were telling me the same thing, but I needed to meet this man, but I had no idea who he was. I didn't do any research. And I thought they were setting me up on a date. I had no idea that they were setting me up on like this friendship. I was like, oh, everybody keeps telling me I need to meet this guy. Like, I'm going like, let's do.
Josh Sabarra 7:49
Little did she know. Yeah, I wouldn't have it any other way. She had a penis and then I would,
Alice Vaughn 7:56
oh my god, I can't even imagine
Josh Sabarra 7:58
if she had the right anatomy. She's the Absolutely my kinda guy. Oh, thank you darling
Alice Vaughn 8:05
well that is what strap ons are for.
Silvia Saige 8:08
Right?
Josh Sabarra 8:09
I guess we can I guess there's ways to make anything work there's always a way
where there's a will a there's a way right
Unknown Speaker 8:18
man I should make that my new life motto.
Alice Vaughn 8:21
I mean it works for so many instances. Yes work yes. Mm hmm affairs maybe
Josh Sabarra 8:30
I see a T shirt and I see a two girls one Mike t shirt where there's a will there's a way
Alice Vaughn 8:36
you know I will team up on it and it'll become part of our official merchandise so I would love it. So we ended up watching and you recommended this film. And I'm actually so embarrassed to say I never watched the original so nine to five I had neither until last night.
Josh Sabarra 8:53
I know that our that the listeners that cannot see my mouth on the floor. Especially out there. With your sense of humor,
Alice Vaughn 9:01
I'm a terrible person.
Josh Sabarra 9:03
I know I'm older than both of you, but
Alice Vaughn 9:05
I'm always a child on this podcast. Actually, no, I take that back. Now that I'm interviewing some younger porn stars. I'm not always the young one on the show. I
Josh Sabarra 9:14
was actually alive for the theatrical release of nine to five. So that puts anything in perspective.
Alice Vaughn 9:21
And it came out in 1980. And I have to watch it because it has Jane Fonda Dolly Parton, and I didn't realize this, but it's out of the American films Institute's hundred funniest movies. Number 74. I didn't know this.
Josh Sabarra 9:35
It was really I mean, this is one of the things Sylvie and I were discussing last night when we watch we actually watch nine to five before we watch breaking Mr. Hart, which is the adult film we're going to discuss. Yeah, it's interesting how ahead of its time the movie was in terms of equal pay, women in the workplace, all of that is very, very clearly addressed. And that was in you know, obviously the movie came out in 1980, which means that the shot Probably in 79 is my guess. So it was very forward. And we were laughing at how some of not laughing I mean, it's laughing through the tears so to speak, because somebody we're addressing that are so pertinent. Mm hmm. I was
Alice Vaughn 10:13
reading the synopsis on Wikipedia. And you're right, because ultimately, so the premise of nine to five from what it seems like is, I mean, we're all kind of familiar with the trope of the horrible boss and how do we get back at the horrible loss and people team up to you know, enact their revenge but a nine to five, where they essentially end up doing is kind of and correct me if I'm wrong, kidnapping their boss, and then bettering their workplace
Josh Sabarra 10:39
eventually. Yeah, so the famous line from the movie is that he's a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot, and that's the line that they repeat in the movie multiple times.
Alice Vaughn 10:49
Yeah. Are you sure that's just not my ex boyfriend?
Josh Sabarra 10:52
Very well. Big. Maybe you were dating Mr. Hart. Their boss is this horrible man who's extremely upset. Access and he's sort of a walking me to before that movement was even, you know, in the vernacular. So essentially there comes a point where they need to kidnap him. And during that time they make the workplace a better place.
Alice Vaughn 11:14
Yeah. And what's really interesting is at the very end, this I found really interesting how they decided to tie up Mr. Hart's storyline in the original film, which is he does such a great job that he's promoted to I think like Brazil, right where eventually he's kidnapped and never heard from again. So moral of the story is murder is not always wrong. Not you're a racist.
Josh Sabarra 11:40
When you're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Anyway, I think that also they, you know, the idea that it showed, you know, what a horrible person he was and that the advancement, but his advancement was on the backs of these women who have done the work to get him to that place, which is really the message that that I think that movie tries to drive
Alice Vaughn 12:00
Yeah, so we ended up watching breaking Mr. Hart and I, I like that they use the main villains name in the title. And so they at least carry that over and they've modernized it essentially. So the film
Silvia Saige 12:11
Yeah, they carried over a few things we were noticing last night there were a lot of nods.
Yeah, original money mainly like characters, character names and things of that nature. But I mean, the premise in general was similar, but I mean, obviously, it's not quite the same because you can't have a play of being the misogynist. They still kind of did play on that, but it's just a different way, I guess.
Alice Vaughn 12:34
But who am I to judge considering on this show? You're now a porn critic, you are to judge so three scenarios that the guys were basically stuck in that they want to enact revenge on Mr. Hart. So the first guy was interesting because Mr. Hurd essentially coerced him into having sex with him But before that, putting on a tight little white Speedo, and of course the tight little white Speedo has to come off Somehow, so they decide to go the creative route and have it essentially explode. Oh my god that is so hard. it lands on a roof. I think we
Josh Sabarra 13:10
need to run this movie back one second because before we even get to the exploding Speedo, the funniest part to me was here we have max Adonis, who is the employee and he comes in he says that he didn't bring anything to swim in. Yeah. So Mr. Hart brings out a pair of speedos, but when max takes his pants off, he's wearing basically boxer briefs. So what he's wearing is basically made for swimming.
Silvia Saige 13:39
You have to take those off, you know, put on nobody takes
Unknown Speaker 13:41
as off lately
Josh Sabarra 13:44
to put on the white Speedo so that when he kneels down, the speedo can explode on him and land on the roof. And there's so much fabric on the roof that you could rock the house
Silvia Saige 13:55
right with 20 times more material.
Alice Vaughn 13:59
Clear there's Probably what 20 exploded speedos on the roof. Two dozen of them. Right? How many ways has Mr. Hart done this? He clearly knows it works. Its power move. Right clearly, but I really appreciated the underwater nudity cam. I don't know about you guys. I did appreciate the enter button
Silvia Saige 14:17
at
Josh Sabarra 14:18
the water was a little murky.
Silvia Saige 14:20
It did need to be cleaned. But yeah,
Josh Sabarra 14:22
yeah, the pool looked like it needed a skimming.
Alice Vaughn 14:26
Where's the pool boy when you need them?
Josh Sabarra 14:28
Yeah, this was that porn movie where the pool was conspicuously absent. And then they start giving each other hand jobs underwater until they finally move to the grass. You know, outside the house, right?
Silvia Saige 14:41
Where we fast forward. Exactly. Well,
Josh Sabarra 14:43
I may have watched it again later. Or maybe
Silvia Saige 14:46
not. I was going to say now you have the link so you can go home but I was like, I don't really need to watch porn with my friend. It's just like, there comes a point where it's the insertion. I'm like, All right, we're moving on moving on.
Josh Sabarra 14:58
And also when you use No these people are you've met these people it is totally defined it is all different thing. Yeah, Paris Paris i think is is such a handsome, gorgeous strapping guy, but because I know him so well, I don't look at him in, in a sexual way at all right, right. So when I see that I find it kind of hard to, to, but we haven't gotten to his scene yet. So anyway, I don't want to ruin the story for everyone else.
Alice Vaughn 15:26
No, but I totally relate because I mean, and Sylvia you get it because you know, you become friends with people in the industry. And you know, having all these people on my show, I get to know them and become friends and we're texting and next thing you know, I see a scene where Tommy pistol in it. And I'm like, I need to see this. I know Tommy, right. And he's texting me like, he's like, Hey, Alice, can I send you like a video of me putting my dick in my butthole and I'm like, Tommy, I don't need to see that.
Silvia Saige 15:55
I love Tommy's work. The thing about Tommy's work is it's never really stuck. That's what's hilarious about it. Tommy is the only guy who does porn who doesn't make it sexy for years, and they'll never quit working. It's hilarious. He's the most comical porn person I've ever met in my entire life.
Josh Sabarra 16:14
But you know what i like Alice, that you mentioned about, you know, having friendships and relationships with people whom you've seen in these movies. And, you know, the idea that these are real people behind these performers. And you know, that's one of the things that I think Silvia works very hard to do, particularly on her podcast, you know, she works very hard to make sure that people are aware of that behind, you know, the sex worker sort of label are some wonderful, fantastic people who have a lot to offer you know, and I love that you just mentioned that that you have relationships with people in the industry because I think it's time for people to reframe their thinking a little bit o
Alice Vaughn 16:57
listeners of this podcast know that you know, porn stars are people you know, just like any other creative just like comedians, artists, musicians, just
Josh Sabarra 17:05
like any other kind of work.
Alice Vaughn 17:07
Yeah, exactly. And people should pay for their porn because I hate what the tube sites have done. I mean, we could go on tangents right now. But getting back to the review,
Josh Sabarra 17:20
yes. breaking your heart. Yes. So have we moved past the max Adonis Dean Phoenix scene?
Alice Vaughn 17:26
Pretty much we're on to the sexual blackmail scene. Okay,
Silvia Saige 17:29
recording. He recorded that and having sex in his home or in their home. I can't remember.
Josh Sabarra 17:34
Well, it looked like Missy Hart. And that was the same name from the original 95 Franklin Hart's wife was named Missy,
Alice Vaughn 17:42
do you think they cast Nina Hartley just because they were like, she has heart in her name?
Josh Sabarra 17:47
Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm sure she's lovely. But I don't think it was because she missed a role. It's Meryl Streep.
Alice Vaughn 17:56
Excuse you but Meryl Streep, you know, she was waiting For that call.
Josh Sabarra 18:01
I know, I know who she really wanted breaking Mr. Hart and I think between Big Little Lies season two, there just wasn't time probably.
Silvia Saige 18:10
I think they probably wanted somebody that was familiar with the movie and kind of could give it a good omnipage because I don't think a lot of younger girls would have even known of the movie, you know. So I think it was the entry
Josh Sabarra 18:24
looks great, by the way, right? I mean, and I joke, I mean, she did a great job. And she definitely tipped her hat or wig or whatever, to Marian Mercer who played that character in nine to five. I thought it was great to sort of see her that way. Yeah, it was fun. And then an actual roll like that is fun. Yeah,
Alice Vaughn 18:44
I always love it. When porn stars have non sexual roles just for the fun of picking up acting
Silvia Saige 18:49
ideal time.
Josh Sabarra 18:50
You just want to warn Sylvia you just want to go and get that category.
Silvia Saige 18:55
I just love being on the gay porn sets. They are so much better than being on straight. porn sets and I have so much fun there. So anytime they're like, actually, I'm doing an extra for men calm tomorrow I work as an extra for them like all the time and for dirt change. They pay me nothing and I show up like yay.
Alice Vaughn 19:12
So there's my question which sets us more lube? Oh god straight or gay porn. It's gotta be gay. It's gotta be, is it? I don't know.
Josh Sabarra 19:25
I can't answer that. I think
Silvia Saige 19:27
so. Because at least with us on straight sets, there's a lot of spit. I know there's a lot of spin on gay porn too, but I just feel like because it's all anal over there. It there's just a lot more loose on us gay porn said it's probably always necessary whereas on a porn site, it's not necessary all the time. Fair. Yeah, unless you're me and you haven't dried out Lizzie and then it is always.
Alice Vaughn 19:53
Sometimes you wake up feeling like sandpaper.
Josh Sabarra 19:56
I would not imagine that because whenever I see you, you look so hard to graded.
Silvia Saige 20:00
Oh, thank you. I think I have a home to hydration just stops at my face and then
Josh Sabarra 20:08
like here it just it just hasn't worked its way down.
Silvia Saige 20:12
I know somebody told me other day they're like you need to change your diet. I was like I have like the world helping us diet. I don't know what else I could do. I just think it's age. So age just catches up and just pulls out the moisture from your PC. That's just what
Josh Sabarra 20:29
I can't even speak to that.
Alice Vaughn 20:32
You know, we need to get an aesthetician on the show and be like Look, I know about moisturizing and hydrating the face. What do I do down there? right we do
Josh Sabarra 20:39
you know there is a procedure that's I'm sure they have this in New York. I'm sure it's all over but the the J shell. Have you heard of those stuff? No vaginal facials.
Silvia Saige 20:48
I don't know about this one. My vagina eautiful it doesn't need like dip hopping.
Josh Sabarra 20:53
I can't speak to it because I don't have the anatomy nor the interest but I would say to look that up because I know some people who have gone for it's like I don't know the exact procedure but it basically is like the attention that you get on a facial but in your
Alice Vaughn 21:11
vagina. Wow. So from a quick search, it looks like it's the quote revitalizing 20 minute treatment is meant to be done post bikini wax to aid the removal and prevention of ingrown hairs and acting while smoothing the skin and treating discoloration. So, Silvia is still gonna have a tripod See, I don't have any of that my vaginas, gorgeous outside.
Josh Sabarra 21:32
I think it depends on where you go. Yeah, Alice, I think they offer more extensive services at other places. That sounds like an express magician,
Silvia Saige 21:41
and express.
Alice Vaughn 21:44
Can there be a drive to have a j show?
Josh Sabarra 21:46
Clearly Silvia needs the full 60
Silvia Saige 21:48
right. I need a full dream.
Josh Sabarra 21:50
She wants the mask and everything.
Silvia Saige 21:53
The hydration mask that's
Alice Vaughn 21:57
how do I get the dollar menu facial or vision What's that look like?
Silvia Saige 22:03
No way. All the money on your vagina. There's a new song out right now and it's like talks about like counting the money and he hears that sound He's like, ever since the check came in, like, do you know what I'm talking about? a rap song? Never mind.
Unknown Speaker 22:17
No way our audience might know.
Josh Sabarra 22:20
You know who you're talking to. I mean, I'm listening to share.
Silvia Saige 22:26
You were listening to some vinyl album this morning that when I was like loving Yeah,
Josh Sabarra 22:30
Rita Coolidge all time high, which was the theme song from speaking of vaginas, it was the theme song from Octopussy was the James Bond movie in 1983. Right? We have also not yet well, we can watch that Roger Moore and Ron Adams. I'm totally dating myself, but I'm fine with that.
Silvia Saige 22:51
Doesn't he look like he's in his 20s I love how he says he dates themselves and he still looks like he's fucking 22 year when
Josh Sabarra 22:57
my references are from for both of you are born. combined.
But I have avoided Alice, the vinyl craze. And then it sort of hit me because the nostalgia factor like I started, I'd be in a store and I'd see these records that I had as a kid. And I was seven or eight years old sitting in my room listening. I mean, what seven or eight year old is sitting in their room listening to read a Coolidge all time high. But I was. And so I have gone on this mission to sort of find any of the things I don't still have to find him by the records that I had in the 80s.
Alice Vaughn 23:32
I love it, or the late 70s. Is there a holy grail of records you're still looking for?
Josh Sabarra 23:37
I've found sort of all of it. One of the ones I looked for for a while was the kids from fame, which was a TV show based on the movie fame. And they did an album with kids from fame. Took me a minute, but I haven't now so everything's okay in the world. Your collections complete.
Isn't it neat? Do you think like elections Complete. I have thingamabobs galore.
Silvia Saige 24:03
Don't make me because I'll start singing that song and it will not be good.
Josh Sabarra 24:07
I feel like I got so off track because we were talking about I think it was the blackmail scene with Remy Cruz and goodie box. Um, you also have no right so yeah, I don't know him but you know, I know ramie but I don't know what he
Silvia Saige 24:22
I know what he he's great. He's no longer in pornography, but he's a fantastic human being. I don't think Remy
Unknown Speaker 24:27
is either. Yeah.
Silvia Saige 24:28
And what he's circlet in Las Vegas. So if you had to Las Vegas, you're seeing the search show. There might be your boy. Flexibility comes in handy. Yeah, it does. It was a good hot scene, though. I will say that would have been a scene that like I would watch. It was really hot between the two of them.
Josh Sabarra 24:48
I agree. I mean, there was a little bit of a blackmail scenario and in the original nine to five, but this sort of took it to a different level, right? I mean, that that part of the plotting is totally totally off.
Silvia Saige 25:01
Right? They all needed to have something against Mr. Hart. Like he had, you know,
Josh Sabarra 25:06
yeah, but one thing I should also say is props to dp wells who wrote and directed this movie because he clearly has an affinity for the source material because even the artwork the key art for the movie, it looks exactly like the car from the original nine to five
Silvia Saige 25:25
poster.
Josh Sabarra 25:26
I know right because it when we talk a little later about some of the things that they threw in there are these little inside nods to the movie that somebody had been a mega fan.
Alice Vaughn 25:35
Well, you're gonna have to tell me because I never watched Well, we will tell you. And then we have the third guy and his gripe with Mr. Hart and understandable which is, so he's seduced by Mr. Hart's assistant. And then while blindfolded fucking the assistant, Mr. Hart decides to have a round which is not okay and Technically rape, right, let's call it whatever it is, you know. So yeah, that's a problem but there
Josh Sabarra 26:06
was one there was another one where they did at least make sure that the assistant I think they called him Darrin or Darrell and his assistant. The movie was Dolly Parton. Who was Dora Lee. So they kept the DS, you know,
Alice Vaughn 26:19
good call
Silvia Saige 26:19
didn't even notice that one. That's a good call. Yeah,
Alice Vaughn 26:22
no, it was really interesting is that after he is seduced by you know, and has this whole scenario play out with Mr. Hart. He wanders around his house. And so this is where, like, really, he goes to the backyard to like the back of the shed and there's a paper file cabinet that's like barely covered in trash bags. And in it is all of his important documents and of course blackmail, because that's where you keep the important shit in something that's easily going to be destroyed in the next thunderstorm easily
Josh Sabarra 26:57
right in your backyard, under attack.
Silvia Saige 27:00
Barely I cannot say anything to this because like if you were to ever break into my apartment I would be the easiest person to rob because my safe is Carrie able
Josh Sabarra 27:13
I don't even need to unlock it they can just leave with it.
Silvia Saige 27:16
Get away.
Josh Sabarra 27:19
I'm not sure that a portable safe makes any sense.
Silvia Saige 27:23
whatsoever and then I had to tell a friend where it was when I was out of town and they were like this is the worst.
Probably
Josh Sabarra 27:32
it's like there was soda cans or those pet rocks that people hide keys and are they jewelry in the refrigerator? They put like they have a can that looks like RC cola. Just says like our cola. Yeah. People keep in their fridge with jewelry. Yeah, cuz no wouldn't go and look for the first brand.
Silvia Saige 27:52
Yeah, that's me with my important paperwork and cash. So
Josh Sabarra 27:58
yeah, nothing good happens under it. You know,
Alice Vaughn 28:00
maybe Mr. Hart is more relatable than we think.
Silvia Saige 28:04
Yeah.
Josh Sabarra 28:06
Not good at. And also like the kind of business that they're all in is very vague. I did hear something in the first scene where they talked about it being something mutual funds or something other but it was very vague. A nine to five was sort of like that, too. I was gonna
Silvia Saige 28:23
say, I'm not sure what they did nine to five. Yeah,
Josh Sabarra 28:26
right. The company was called consolidated. And it had something to do with the shipping or transport of goods. But it was a little vague as to what the company itself did. And breaking Mr. Hart was going through the same thing. They sort of nailed it now.
Alice Vaughn 28:41
This is so off topic, but I know you mentioned pet rocks before. I mean, maybe they were in that business. I mean, do you guys know how many pet rocks are sold? I know this sounds so silly. No, please don't know. But I know it is
Josh Sabarra 28:53
a huge it's like a big thing right?
Alice Vaughn 28:55
There were 1.5 million pet rock, soul, bucking crazy. I'm sorry, can I say that? I'm sorry? Of course, dude, I want a porn podcast. Okay,
Josh Sabarra 29:04
no Silvia, we're gonna need you to clean up your act for the
Unknown Speaker 29:07
podcast.
Silvia Saige 29:11
I always tell people like I do not do clean comedy. Don't put me in that room. I don't even know when that bombs come out of my mouth. It just
don't put me around your children don't put me in a church and will be
Alice Vaughn 29:24
if people put me around their children, it's their fault. It's I say this day,
Josh Sabarra 29:28
right? I cannot contain this. They need to be accountable.
Silvia Saige 29:32
Right? They had the children not me, not my doing. Look, in my
Alice Vaughn 29:36
defense, you're gonna have to explain this stuff to your children anyway, it's, it's not my fault that they have to learn when it comes sloughed is early on in life. Okay? Yeah.
Silvia Saige 29:46
Yeah, take teach them young. Teach them young.
Josh Sabarra 29:49
That's what I say. But how many people get to learn and then have it in the flesh example right there at the same time. You really, you really are providing a service.
Unknown Speaker 30:00
Mommy wants to come.
Unknown Speaker 30:02
Well honey.
Unknown Speaker 30:06
That's not even wrong.
Silvia Saige 30:08
It's mommy's friend Sylvia and
Alice Vaughn 30:11
imagine like if mommy were to go to a waterpark, but it's all white. Right.
Silvia Saige 30:18
With lots of digs.
Josh Sabarra 30:19
I think that's the good analogy.
Lots of Fountains fountains, I've just pictured lazy river of semen. Oh my god. I feel
like I've been there. A sex themed adult theme park would be great. Right?
Alice Vaughn 30:33
Japan should get on it. Yeah,
Josh Sabarra 30:35
like there could be like, tip of the penis revolving restaurant
up to the top and it goes around. Just think of all the things we could do.
Alice Vaughn 30:46
What would be the teacup ride instead of spinning tea cups? Clearly a bottle?
Josh Sabarra 30:51
Oh, yeah, it would be some kind of it would be called like the rim wheel.
Silvia Saige 30:54
Yeah, get in the rim. Yeah,
Alice Vaughn 30:56
yeah. When mommy has to go to the ATM. It's a different kind of ATM. Smell baby asked him out.
Josh Sabarra 31:02
But it would be interesting to have a sex themed theme park when that
Alice Vaughn 31:06
should have been Walt Disney's vision from the beginning he needed to drop the anti semitism. It probably
Silvia Saige 31:11
was Walt Disney's vision and he got obscured i'd feel like well, Disney was a dirty fuck. So,
Dixon, like all of his movies, every single one, you failed us.
Josh Sabarra 31:22
Okay, so wait, so we have the character going and finding his personal information and Mr. Hart's yard under a tar?
Alice Vaughn 31:29
Yeah. And then we find out that apparently once he's confronted by Nina Hartley and decides to just chat with her and have some drinks, she actually owns the company. So Mr. Hart actually married into the job, right and the only reason that they haven't separated is because of the prenup. So
Josh Sabarra 31:49
the prenup that completely works in her favor. Yeah. And that if he ever has an affair, the entire fortune because to her Right, exactly.
So they come up with a plan. She's on the beach in Australia at
some
Alice Vaughn 32:03
Yeah. And she makes the world's fastest flight back from Australia. I totally am Australia that shit is nightmarishly long it is 17 hours no jet lag
Josh Sabarra 32:14
no time difference are we was on point she had gloves she'd read driving she was like dress to kill seven times store clothing
Alice Vaughn 32:24
yeah and they expect this Australian flight to land on time so that way to have the other guys can be seducing and having a pillow fight with Mr. Hart. And then of course she'll end up coming home and walking around early on him breaking his prenup claws and the pillow fight
Josh Sabarra 32:40
was funny because it was so did you see how going through the motions they were with the pillow fight like no feathers flying? It was
a one to the two Yeah, it was staged combat.
Silvia Saige 32:54
plan does not go as it's supposed to obviously because what do men want? Anything they can't have. So when he could have sex with these people when they were bringing it to him, he of course, had wanted nothing to do with it. So what did he have to do when he poisoned him? I can't even remember now was that what happened? Yes, he
Josh Sabarra 33:14
put poison is poison to knockout Mr. Hart. Now if you'll recall in the original nine to five, there is a plotline whereby the Lily Tomlin character accidentally poisons Mr. or thinks she poisons Mr. Hart because instead of using bleach, she uses rat poison and right. And so that was definitely a nod your original
Alice Vaughn 33:37
so I was watching actually the scene where Mr. Hart is clearly knocked out on the couch. And then the two other guys who came in to seduce him just end the fucking next to him. So my friend walks in, and he's like, is that guy dead? He didn't look dead.
Josh Sabarra 33:52
But also, I think we're not giving enough attention to the CGI and special effects for this film. Because you're This sequence you may have noticed that while Mr. Hart is passed out and the other two gentlemen are engaging in sexual activity, they're taking pictures of themselves with the passed out body. And we see screenshots still shots next to the video. Yeah, did I miss this? The whole budget had to have gone to CGI.
Unknown Speaker 34:19
Hey, no. How do you go back and watch this?
Alice Vaughn 34:23
spend it on only the exploding underwear.
Josh Sabarra 34:27
Underwear was this puts that to shame shit.
Silvia Saige 34:30
Yeah, they definitely brought in their highest paid editor and splashed a few photos on the screen next to the sacks so shots. Yeah, yeah.
Josh Sabarra 34:43
supermodel god damn it. It was great. It was great. It was great. And then we find that Mrs. Hart says that her husband has been sent to Brazil. Just like in nine to five
Silvia Saige 34:58
Yeah, she walks in finds him They're done. Let's see it.
Josh Sabarra 35:02
And then you'll notice there's one point where Pierce pulls out a name on a card. I think it's I don't know if it's supposed to be as it gets in his file. And on the card it says that the name is Cole Higgins. And Colin Higgins is the person who wrote and directed the original nine to five
Silvia Saige 35:19
and only you have to take that out.
Alice Vaughn 35:21
Yeah. What a nice nod.
Josh Sabarra 35:22
GP wells who put this together clearly is a fan of the original movie because, I mean, it would take another huge fan, right, isn't it? Yeah. Or I should say, which is I
Alice Vaughn 35:35
didn't notice that. What I found interesting is that they chose to do a CD instead of a hard drive in 2018.
Josh Sabarra 35:43
Maybe that also was a nod. Although I don't think at 1980 they even I mean we didn't have CDs right? I mean, didn't you notice they'll be like a nine to five like even they were had their landline telephones yeah may even had the thing that holds it holds the receiver Hold the receiver up to their ear.
Silvia Saige 36:02
Yeah. And you thought that was like such a cool thing to have. Because I used to have one of those when I worked in corporate America, and I thought it was awesome, because I was on the phone all the time. It was so convenient.
Josh Sabarra 36:11
But it is interesting to go back and see certain movies, you know, and having to take them for what they are. Right for. There were cell phones there before there were because now how many thrillers would we see that would be wrapped up in two seconds? Right, right, like 9 million of these movies from 1980. If you went back and added a cell phone problem
Alice Vaughn 36:30
would be solved. The Gossip Girl wouldn't exist. And that was in the early 2000s. Right, right. There you go. Actually, Seinfeld, I felt like most of the scenarios could have been cleared up with a text message
Silvia Saige 36:43
text, right? Yeah, hundred percent.
Josh Sabarra 36:45
It's funny how some time and advancements can really change plotting, right? It's character driven stuff that you go back and you watch that doesn't I mean, like the themes of nine to five, you can take all of the rest of this out of it, the things that we're talking about, and the themes are still so relevant.
Alice Vaughn 37:01
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, what's it Horrible Bosses built on the same premise? kinda
Silvia Saige 37:06
similar? Yeah, but they had different bosses. Not one boss. Yeah.
Alice Vaughn 37:09
Yeah. I mean, everybody kind of I feel like has had one boss at some point in time that they just want to stick it to. So, share is so relatable anyway. So yeah, and having worked
Josh Sabarra 37:19
in Hollywood for 25 years, I had some of the worst that exists. Do you want to spell? I think you hear about some of them implanting. I
Silvia Saige 37:26
was gonna say, and you did kind of stick it to them. So in the most literal sense,
Josh Sabarra 37:32
people get what they deserve. True. And it's funny how you know, you know, it's the funniest thing is you get people who will show up at book signings who have an entirely different idea of what your relationship with them was. You know, like years later, they show up. It's like the frenemy type people who you know, are the first people to buy your work.
Silvia Saige 37:51
Right, right.
Josh Sabarra 37:53
And I will get some of those beautiful, like, you should see sometimes like, it's shocking, like who I'll see Weapons certain things and I always write in their books things like wishing you all the happiness you deserve
because really only they know how much that is.
Alice Vaughn 38:14
I mean that's why sometimes if I'm having a shitty day and someone is being asked to me I'll just say I hope your days as pleasant as you are, right?
Josh Sabarra 38:21
Yes. Yeah. The best thing is when you can you know when you can say those little things to somebody who's not being good to you. And you can say something that's one of those like little like nuanced hidden gems that you can pat yourself on the back for they don't even know they've been installed. Did you feel better? Yeah. Those are the back.
Alice Vaughn 38:41
You mean every shower moment I've ever had? Yeah.
Josh Sabarra 38:46
Clearly, yeah.
Alice Vaughn 38:47
So this is story from porn, again, out of curiosity come to mind, because I mean, I know I'm gonna read the whole thing, but you mentioned LIKE A BOSS sticking it to
Josh Sabarra 38:57
the purpose of it is not to stick it to anybody. And I didn't name anybody and I, you know, some of them are composites of people. But it was to sort of show how the industry has a way, if you're somebody who already doesn't feel good about yourself, which was me for a very long time, never feeling good enough. And, you know, working in Hollywood is one of the worst places that you can look for your sense of self. So that was really, you know, I sort of turned a hobby and a passion into a career. But it was really the worst thing for my spirit because I was working with people who you know, just want to beat you down or, you know, Hollywood's an industry where it's very easy to fail upward. You know, there's very little about it. Science, it's more of a it's not a quantifiable business. Yes. You know, how many, you know how much money a movie made at the box office or whatever, but it's very easy to sort of be mediocre and succeed, and very territorial, and they want to stay in their job. Amen to that. Yeah. And people want to stay in their jobs and they don't want to be you know, they don't want to be found out. It's like the Emperor's New Clothes, right? And so the easiest way to do that is to put other people down and make people feel not good about themselves. And I feel like I dealt with that for a lot of years. And as somebody who already didn't feel good enough, it was the last place to look for self esteem.
Alice Vaughn 40:16
Yeah, and it's so easy to I mean, God not have self esteem in LA cheese's. I went over for one week. There's two situations I ever feel that I need to go to the gym more and the first is whatever I'm at a porn conference or the specifically the ABA ends. Holy shit you ladies are resources are just
Josh Sabarra 40:39
right, but also you have to remember that Silvia is in the business of being beautiful.
Silvia Saige 40:43
Yeah. My job
Josh Sabarra 40:45
yeah, and her look like that. No, I mean, I admire it and I think it's amazing that she's as gorgeous as she is. But you know, I look at these guys like I look at piers, I'm
Alice Vaughn 40:55
not putting you down, trust me. No, of course. Ultimate fits bow. That's all I'm saying,
Josh Sabarra 41:01
believe me, I look at like peers like we go out to dinner and I see how he eats and how he has to stay looking a certain way. And you see, I mean in breaking Mr. Hart, his body is on full display. And I can never be that person. I am never going to have those abs because I'm always going to have pizza. And then I say to everyone else, eat your salad and be sad, but I'm going to have my
Alice Vaughn 41:26
Wait, we came up with another shirt, eat your salad and be sad.
Josh Sabarra 41:31
You heard it here.
Alice Vaughn 41:33
Okay, so that said we do have some patrons to think so this week we want to thank Bethany Aiden Ferran stock, Mike sorbets, ko priest pilot Elisa Falco. Hi, Andrew Gore, Matthew Kolb, rowdy Steven Jones, Bob Dole rental, Neil hallstrom, Neil Simpson, Michael Gad, and many, many others. And by the way, if you want to become a patron yourself, just hop on over to patreon.com slash two girls on Mike. It's also in the show notes. If you want to help Yvette out with her medical fund just head over to PSI babe calm. You can follow all of our stuff and shenanigans on either Facebook our website, our Twitter account tg o m podcast, but Sylvia and Josh, where can our listeners find more of you guys?
Silvia Saige 42:18
Yeah, you can find me online. I'm Silvia sage, si LVIA si g you can find me on all social media platforms there or you can find my podcast sexy, funny role on all places where you can find podcast I Heart Radio, iTunes, Stitcher, and you can also find my second podcast sexual disorientation with Dr. Romney to bosma on iTunes and all podcast platforms. I will
Alice Vaughn 42:43
link to those in the show notes and Josh, where can our listeners find you?
Josh Sabarra 42:47
You can find me on Instagram and Twitter at Josh cervera jo sh s A Ba ra and on Facebook at Josh servera author. My books are available on Amazon or wherever books are sold Barnes and Noble you name it. And I love hearing from people. So, you know,
Alice Vaughn 43:05
just send all the hate mail to you know
Josh Sabarra 43:08
what? Whatever you need to get out of your system. That's fine.
Alice Vaughn 43:12
Perfect. So we will link to the hate mail address in the show notes as well.
Josh Sabarra 43:19
Listen as long as people are paying attention.
Alice Vaughn 43:21
Yeah, true.
Josh Sabarra 43:23
They have a point of view.
Silvia Saige 43:24
Yes. Well,
Alice Vaughn 43:26
I say that until I hear a shitty point of view. Well, exactly. But guys, thanks for tuning in this week. Bye
Unknown Speaker 43:33
bye.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
