Welcome to Three Percent. This is your space if you’re on a journey of pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith.
We’re here to provide evidence-based guidance and proven strategies drawn from our experiences as therapists, friends, and mentors.
We aren’t here to give you gimmicks or superficial “hacks.” We’re not telling you who to be, we're helping you uncover what gets in the way of being the man you want to be and offering you the authentic tools needed for tangible growth.
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Données mises à jour le 14/07/2026
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Why do the people we love most have the ability to trigger us the fastest?
In this conversation, Dr. Kelly Flanagan joins Jamie and Blake to explore what really happens when we move from connection into protection. Drawing from his new book, The Road Less Triggered, Kelly explains how our nervous systems react to perceived threats, why our hearts close in moments of conflict, and how we can learn to stay present instead of becoming defensive.
Together, they unpack why anger is often a doorway into deeper emotions, how sadness gets blocked for many men, and why healing begins by asking not “What’s wrong with me?” but “What happened to me?” The conversation is practical, deeply compassionate, and full of memorable metaphors that make complex emotional dynamics easier to understand.
If you’ve ever felt hijacked by your reactions, struggled to stay open in conflict, or wondered why small moments create such big responses, this episode offers a hopeful path toward greater calm, freedom, and connection.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Why being triggered is normal—and doesn’t mean you’re broken
How to move from protection mode back into connection mode
Why anger often points to sadness underneath the surface
What it means to restore your sense of choice in conflict
How boundaries can be set with an open heart
Why healing turns 30-day conflicts into 30-second recoveries
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Introducing Kelly Flanagan and The Road Less Triggered(05:00) Turning 30 days of conflict into 30 seconds(10:00) What it actually means to be triggered(14:00) Restoring your sense of choice(18:00) Why your nervous system thinks you’re in danger(22:00) Jamie’s story of trauma and non-consensual touch(27:00) Loneliness: feeling unseen, misunderstood, and unsupported(31:00) Calmness before connectedness(34:00) Anger as a doorway into your emotional life(38:00) The sadness underneath anger and anxiety(48:00) Openhearted boundaries(52:00) Final reflections and practical application
Kelly Flanagan, The Road Less Triggered, Three Percent Podcast, emotional triggers, relationships, marriage, anger, sadness, boundaries, vulnerability, men’s mental health, nervous system, trauma and healing, connection, emotional regulation
Inside Your 3%: Where Vulnerability and Safety Meet
lundi 11 mai 2026 • Durée 38:28
What actually makes someone feel safe?
In this episode, Jamie and Blake slow down to explore one of the questions they’ve been asked most recently: what does “safety” actually mean—and how does it connect to the core idea behind Three Percent?
Through personal stories, recovery experiences, parenting examples, and reflections on friendship, they unpack why vulnerability feels so difficult for most people. Not because something is wrong with us, but because many of us learned early on that honesty, emotion, or neediness didn’t feel safe. The result? We stay hidden, disconnected, and stuck carrying things alone.
This conversation reframes vulnerability not as weakness, but as courage. It’s about learning how to recognize safe people, becoming safer people ourselves, and understanding that sharing your “3%” isn’t about oversharing—it’s about creating the kind of connection that leads to healing, freedom, and growth.
If you’ve ever struggled to open up, feared being fully known, or wondered why emotional honesty feels so uncomfortable, this episode will help put language to it.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Why vulnerability often feels unsafe long before adulthood
How relational safety is built through attunement, repair, and consistency
What “3%” actually means beyond the podcast name
Why sharing your story creates deeper connection and healing
The difference between emotional safety and emotional comfort
Why staying hidden may feel protective—but ultimately costs more
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Looking for a new podcast co-host
(02:00) Why this conversation about safety matters
(04:00) How childhood shapes vulnerability in adulthood
(07:00) Trauma, attachment, and feeling emotionally unsafe
(10:00) What attunement actually means
What Makes a Man Safe? with Amy Alexander
lundi 4 mai 2026 • Durée 59:38
What actually makes a man feel safe to others?
In this conversation, Amy Alexander—therapist, co-founder of The Refuge Center, and someone who has spent decades working with survivors of trauma and abuse—offers a perspective most men rarely hear. Not from theory, but from real stories of women navigating fear, harm, and healing.
Together, they explore the dynamics of power and control that often go unnoticed, and how even subtle patterns—people-pleasing, image management, avoidance, or lack of self-awareness—can erode safety in relationships over time.
But this isn’t about shame or blame. It’s an invitation. A chance for men to listen, learn, and grow—not from defensiveness, but from humility. Amy names three powerful markers of a safe man: transparency, accountability, and a willingness to sacrifice time and energy for the good of others.
If you’ve ever wondered what healthy masculinity actually looks like in practice—or how to become someone others feel safe with—this conversation offers clarity, honesty, and a path forward.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Why safety isn’t defined by intention—but by how others experience you
How subtle power dynamics can exist even without obvious abuse
Why transparency builds trust faster than perfection ever could
The difference between accountability and shame-dumping
How unresolved patterns can quietly shape your relationships
Why sacrificing time and energy is essential to becoming a safe partner
CHAPTERS
(00:00) The story behind The Refuge Center
(04:00) Making therapy affordable, excellent, and accessible
(08:00) A vision shaped by real human need
AI & Mental Health pt. 2: Why Am I Always Angry?
lundi 27 avril 2026 • Durée 34:18
Why does anger feel like the only emotion you can access?
In part two of the AI & Mental Health series, the guys take on one of the most common questions men are asking right now: “Why am I always angry?” It’s a question that often carries shame—but what if anger isn’t the problem?
Drawing from their work as therapists (and their own stories), they explore how anger often becomes the default emotion—not because it’s the only thing you feel, but because it’s the safest one to express. Underneath it is usually something more vulnerable: sadness, fear, shame, or even unmet needs that have gone unnoticed for years.
This conversation reframes anger as a signal, not a failure. It’s an invitation to slow down, get curious, and begin connecting with what’s really happening beneath the surface—so you can move from reaction to awareness, and ultimately, to real change.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in frustration, quick to react, or disconnected from your emotions, this episode will help you understand why—and what to do next.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Why anger often masks more vulnerable emotions like sadness or fear
How anger creates the illusion of control when you feel powerless
Why many men only learned how to express one emotion—and it’s anger
How unprocessed emotions build up and eventually come out sideways
Why your anger is a signal pointing to something deeper—not a personal failure
A practical framework to move from reaction to awareness (pause, pray, process, express)
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Why Jamie first went to therapy: numb or angry(02:00) The AI & Mental Health series explained(04:30) The #1 question: “Why am I always angry?”(08:00) Anger as the illusion of control(10:30) What anger is actually protecting(12:30) When anger is your only emotional outlet(14:00) Why more men are asking mental health questions(16:00) Anger as a signal, not a problem(18:00) A real-life example of anger masking sadness(21:00) The “anger iceberg” explained(23:00) Why compassion changes everything(25:00) The impact of culture, media, and overwhelm(27:00) Why control isn’t the goal—connection is(29:00) Practicing self-compassion in real time(31:00) Final thoughts + invitation to The Basement
Three Percent x Dadville: Why Friendship Gets Harder (and More Important) as a Dad
mardi 21 avril 2026 • Durée 01:10:43
Why does friendship feel easier when you’re young—and harder when you need it most?
In this crossover episode with Dadville, the guys from Three Percent sit down with Dave Barnes and Jon McLaughlin for an honest conversation about friendship, fatherhood, and the quiet loneliness many men carry. From the outside, it can look like life is full—marriage, kids, work—but underneath, something is missing.
Together, they explore why relationships often drift in adulthood, how marriage and parenting subtly reshape your friendships, and why most men aren’t lacking relationships—they’re lacking depth.
This episode is both lighthearted and deeply reflective. It’s about the courage to go beyond surface-level conversations, the intentionality required to build meaningful friendships, and the small but powerful step of sharing your “3%”—the part of your story you usually keep hidden.
If you’ve ever felt disconnected, even in a full life, this conversation will help you name it—and take a step toward something deeper.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Why most adult loneliness isn’t about quantity of friends—but depth of connection
How marriage and kids naturally shift and strain friendships over time
Why vulnerability is the fastest path to meaningful connection
The hidden cost of staying at surface-level conversations
How intentionality replaces proximity in adult friendships
Why sharing your “3%” creates permission for others to do the same
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Introducing the crossover: Three Percent x Dadville(03:00) The origin of Dadville and longtime friendship(08:00) The story behind the “3%” concept(14:00) Why we hold back the most important parts of ourselves(18:00) Friendship in your 30s and 40s: what changes(21:00) Why proximity disappears—and intentionality must replace it(25:00) The loneliness most men don’t talk about(28:00) Why friendships don’t just “happen” anymore(31:00) Are women actually better at friendship?(33:00) How marriage and kids reshape your relationships(40:00) What it takes to build meaningful friendships as a dad(43:00) A real story of vulnerability changing everything(47:00) Why sharing your struggles brings connection, not rejection(52:00) Modeling vulnerability as a parent(56:00) The long-term impact of repair and honesty
How to Deal with Your ____ So Your Kids Don’t Have To with Eli Harwood
lundi 13 avril 2026 • Durée 46:57
What if the way you respond to your kids has less to do with them—and more to do with what’s unresolved in you?
In this conversation, Eli Harwood (aka “Attachment Nerd”) helps us see how our childhood experiences quietly shape the way we parent, relate, and react. From parentification and emotional neglect to people-pleasing and control, she unpacks how the patterns we learned early on don’t just disappear—they show up in our homes today.
But this isn’t about becoming a perfect parent. It’s about becoming an aware one. Eli shares a hopeful vision of what it looks like to acknowledge your story, take responsibility for your growth, and create relationships where your kids feel safe, seen, and supported—even when you get it wrong.
If you’re a parent, want to be a parent, or are still working through your own story, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath your reactions—and how to start showing up differently.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Why your reactions as a parent often come from unresolved parts of your own story
The difference between a “right-side up” and “upside-down” parent-child relationship
How parentification shapes your ability to give and receive care
Why secure parenting isn’t about perfection—but repair and consistency
What your emotional triggers with your kids are trying to show you
How doing your own work creates safety for your children
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Why no parent is perfect(02:00) Introducing Eli Harwood (“Attachment Nerd”)(04:00) Growing up in a family shaped by trauma(08:30) A mother who chose to break the cycle(12:00) Why attachment changes everything in therapy(16:00) What is a parentified child?(20:00) “I don’t emotionally rely—I emotionally supply”(24:00) Why receiving care is so hard(28:00) How attachment patterns show up in marriage(32:00) What your kids are really asking for(36:00) Why parenting triggers your own unresolved story(38:00) Inside Eli’s new book and how to use it(41:00) Why your kids will still have “stuff” (and that’s okay)(43:00) Where to find Eli + final thoughts
Why Your Story Still Shapes You (Even If You’ve Moved On) with Dr. Dan Allender & Rachel Clinton Chen
lundi 6 avril 2026 • Durée 55:57
Join The Basement – https://threepercentco.com/membership
Why do certain patterns in your life keep repeating—no matter how much you try to move forward?
In this conversation, Dan Allender and Rachel Clinton Chen invite us into the deeper work of understanding our stories. Not as something to “get over,” but as something that continues to shape how we relate to ourselves, God, and others. Through powerful personal examples and honest reflection, they explore how early experiences—especially moments of shame, neglect, or harm—form the internal narratives we still live by today.
This conversation moves beyond surface-level self-awareness into something more embodied. It’s about learning how to revisit your story with compassion, allowing old interpretations to be challenged, and discovering both the brokenness and beauty that have been formed in you. Along the way, they name the cost of avoiding your story—and the freedom that comes when you finally begin to engage it.
If you’ve ever wondered why certain reactions feel automatic, why vulnerability feels unsafe, or why you keep chasing validation that never quite satisfies—this episode offers a way forward. Not quick fixes, but a deeper invitation into healing, connection, and becoming who you were meant to be.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Why your past isn’t “over”—it’s still shaping how you live today
How early shame and unmet needs form the patterns you repeat
Why vulnerability feels unsafe (and where that story began)
What it means to hold both your brokenness and your beauty
How revisiting your story with others creates real change
Jon Guerra on Self-Emptying and Finding Freedom in the Ordinary
lundi 30 mars 2026 • Durée 59:52
Join The Basement – https://threepercentco.com/membershipThree Percent Website – https://threepercentco.com/Follow Three Percent on IG: https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/
What happens when the version of Jesus you believe in always agrees with you?
In this conversation, Jon Guerra shares the quiet but unsettling realization that his faith had become too comfortable—too aligned with his own preferences, frustrations, and perspectives. What followed wasn’t a crisis, but a slow return. A reintroduction to the real Jesus through the Gospels. One who comforts, but also confronts. One who invites, but also challenges.
Together, they explore what it means to rediscover Christ in the middle of ordinary life—parenting, marriage, stress, and even subtle pride. This conversation moves beyond surface-level faith into something deeper: surrender, attention, and the kind of honesty that leads to freedom.
If you’ve ever felt disillusioned with faith, unsure how to reconnect with God, or tired of a version of Christianity that feels flat or performative, this episode offers a different path—one that is slower, truer, and ultimately more alive.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Why a “comfortable” version of Jesus might be holding you back
How subtle pride and self-justification can shape your faith
What it looks like to encounter a Jesus who both comforts and challenges
Why surrender isn’t losing your life—but finding it
How everyday stress (kids, work, marriage) becomes the place of transformation
CHAPTERS
(00:00) What is the “3%”?(02:00) Introducing Jon Guerra and his music(05:30) The heart behind the Jesus album(07:00) When Jesus becomes a version of yourself(10:00) The challenge of the real Jesus (rich young ruler)(13:30) Faith in the middle of ordinary life stress(18:30) Where is God in parenting, pressure, and fatigue?(22:00) Surrender, the cross, and where life is actually found(30:30) What does it mean that “Christ is the treasure”?(40:00) Experiencing God in the places you avoid(45:30) Why vulnerability and relationship lead to healing(49:00) Gethsemane: grief, surrender, and light(53:00) Seeing clearly: attention, presence, and everyday faith(56:00) Where to find Jon + closing thoughts
AI & Mental Health pt. 1: What the Research is Saying
What happens when artificial intelligence meets emotional health?
In this episode, Jamie and Blake begin a new recurring series exploring the intersection of AI and mental health. Rather than offering quick answers or bold predictions, this conversation slows things down and asks better questions.
They reflect on how AI is already shaping the way people process emotions, seek support, and understand themselves. From using AI as a sounding board to the risks of outsourcing vulnerability, they explore both the opportunities and the tensions this technology introduces.
Takeaways
AI can be a helpful tool for reflection—but it cannot replace real human connection
There is a growing temptation to process emotions in isolation rather than in relationship
Convenience can quietly shape our emotional habits in ways we don’t always notice
The goal is not to reject AI, but to use it wisely and within healthy limits
Vulnerability still requires risk—and that risk is essential for deep connection
Getting Through What You’re Going Through with Tanner Olson
lundi 16 mars 2026 • Durée 01:04:38
Join The Basement – https://threepercentco.com/membership
Three Percent Website – https://threepercentco.com/
Follow Three Percent on IG: https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/
In this episode, Blake and Jamie sit down with poet, speaker, and author Tanner Olson for a conversation about suffering, hope, creativity, and the honest work of getting through difficult seasons.
Tanner shares the heart behind his new book Getting Through What You’re Going Through, a collection of poems, essays, and reflections meant to be a hopeful companion for people navigating life’s hardest moments. Rather than offering easy answers or quick fixes, Tanner explores the power of naming pain honestly and sitting with others in their suffering.
The conversation moves through humor, storytelling, and deeply personal moments—from Tanner’s health scare and the lifestyle changes it forced him to make, to the ways stress, pride, and striving can quietly shape our lives. Along the way, the group reflects on why empathy is often more powerful than advice, why information alone doesn’t lead to healing, and how poetry can give language to emotions people struggle to express.
Tanner’s writing invites readers to slow down, acknowledge what they’re going through, and trust that hope can still exist in the middle of uncertainty.
This episode is a reminder that sometimes the most meaningful thing we can offer each other is not a solution—but presence.
Takeaways
Poetry can help people name emotions they struggle to articulate.
Sometimes the most helpful response to suffering is simply saying, “I hate this for you.”
Healing rarely comes from information alone—it requires presence, processing, and time.
Rest and lifestyle changes can be brave choices, even when they feel difficult.
Creativity often grows from walking through real life experiences.
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Amy Alexander, Refuge Center, Three Percent Podcast, healthy masculinity, emotional safety, relationships, trauma and healing, domestic violence, power and control, accountability, vulnerability, men’s mental health, transparency, personal growth
Three Percent Podcast, Dadville, Dave Barnes, Jon McLaughlin, male friendship, fatherhood, loneliness, vulnerability, relationships, emotional health, masculinity, connection, parenting, community, personal growth
Dan Allender, Rachel Clinton Chen, Three Percent Podcast, emotional health, men’s mental health, story work, trauma and healing, attachment, vulnerability, shame, masculinity, relationships, spiritual formation, inner critic, personal growth
Jon Guerra, Three Percent Podcast, Christian music, emotional health, faith and doubt, masculinity, vulnerability, spiritual formation, inner life, surrender, trauma and healing, relationships, parenting stress, proximity to God, honest faith
(00:00) Introduction to the AI & Mental Health Series
(03:45) Why this conversation matters right now
(08:20) How people are already using AI for emotional processing
(14:10) The benefits of AI as a reflective tool
(20:35) The risks of replacing human connection
(27:50) Isolation, convenience, and emotional habits
(34:15) Where AI falls short in empathy and presence
(41:05) Using AI without losing your humanity
(48:30) Final thoughts and what’s ahead in the series
Keywords
AI and mental health, emotional health, vulnerability, human connection, self-awareness, technology and relationships, therapy tools, emotional processing, isolation, personal growth, Three Percent Podcast
Resources
Check out more from Tanner Olson:
New Book: Getting Through What You're Going Through: Notes and Poems for Hoping and Becoming https://amzn.to/4usjMqj
(04:30) Poetry, Humor, and Writing About Real Life
(06:00) The Heart Behind Getting Through What You’re Going Through
(10:30) The Power of Words During Difficult Seasons
(15:30) Why Empathy Matters More Than Easy Answers
(20:30) When People Try to Fix Your Pain
(26:30) The Limits of Self-Awareness and Information
(33:00) Why This Was the Book Tanner Needed to Write
(36:00) A Health Scare and the Wake-Up Call of Stress
(40:30) Lifestyle Changes and Letting Go of Control
(47:00) Childhood, Wonder, and Finding Peace Again
(50:00) Humor, Poetry, and Being Fully Yourself
(58:30) Hope in the Middle of Hard Things
(01:01:00) Where to Find Tanner and His Work
Keywords
Three Percent podcast, Tanner Olson, poetry and faith, emotional health, Christian spirituality, healing and suffering, personal growth, stress and burnout, empathy, vulnerability, faith and creativity, hope in hard seasons, mental health, trusting God, spiritual formation, processing emotions, poetry and healing
