Dating and Desire Podcast – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Bridgett Blood and Lauren Mathues step into one of the most tender and often misunderstood conversations in Christian sexuality: masturbation, self-pleasure, and how adults make embodied, faithful decisions. With warmth and nuance, they name the range of perspectives people often carry, from “always wrong” to “always empowering,” and invite listeners into a more honest conversation about story, Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and what it really looks like.

The depth of this conversation comes from the way they refuse to separate theology from lived experience. Our bodies, histories, wounds, shame, curiosity, and longings are all present when we talk about sexuality. For some, this topic touches abuse, loneliness, purity culture, pornography, confusion, or fear. For others, it raises questions about freedom, agency, healing, and what it means to live with integrity.

Bridgett and Lauren offer a framework that moves beyond rule-making and reaction. They talk about discernment, personal conviction, embodied awareness, the difference between pleasure and escape, and the importance of asking whether our practices are leading us toward connection or away from it. Their invitation is not to bypass God or the body, but to listen more deeply to both as part of formation and wholeness.

What to pay attention to is the fruit of your choices. Are you becoming more connected to God, yourself, and others, or more hidden, isolated, and self-protective? Are you honoring your body with kindness, or using pleasure to avoid the risk of being known and cared for? These questions help create a path toward discernment, clarity, and a deeper trust in your own story.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Mentioned in this Episode

• Bridgett’s free guidebook, 19 Ways to Engage Sexual Joy
• Pure Desire: Groups and Clinical care for unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma for men and women
• She Recovery: women porn recovery resources
• Tabbitha Westbrook: healthy sexuality after abuse

If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need:

🩷 Work with Bridgett

You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values

→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠

📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠

→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠

→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  

💙 Work with Lauren

If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.

→ Work with Lauren

→ Coming in July: The Mid-Summer Dating Reset→ ⁠⁠⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠⁠⁠ We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step.

📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠

→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠

→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠

Have more questions?

Email us at datinganddesirepodcast@gmail.com

Bridgett and Lauren gather the threads from recent conversations with Dr. Anthony Bradley, Barb Hill, Dr. Andrew Bauman, Dr. Jenna Mountain, Jonathan Hernandez, Adam Young, and Dr. Tony. Across themes of men’s formation, emotional capacity, abstinence, shame, story, and embodied sexuality, they keep returning to what healthy love actually takes.

The tension is honest: rules can feel safer than discernment, but they cannot do the deeper work of formation. Bridgett and Lauren name the body as a place of wisdom, not fear, where desire, hesitation, grief, attraction, and discomfort all offer meaningful information.

Their invitation is toward integrity that is connected and whole. Physical closeness is not treated as a formula, but as something that should match trust, commitment, communication, and the relational reality being built.

For dating and relationships, this becomes deeply practical. What to pay attention to is whether your body feels safe, whether your words can be honest, and whether connection is forming something good in both of you. The fruit is clarity, discernment, and growing trust in yourself.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Mentioned in this Episode

• Join Andrew Bauman's Man Land
• Listen to Three Percent Podcast

Heartbreak Albums Bridgett Mentioned:

• The Process by Judah & The Lion
• Nova by Falcon

If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need:

🩷 Work with Bridgett

You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values

→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠

📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠

→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠

→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  

💙 Work with Lauren

If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren

→ Coming in July: The Mid-Summer Dating Reset→ ⁠⁠⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠⁠⁠ We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step.

📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠

→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠

→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠

Dr. Anthony Bradley joins Bridgett and Lauren to talk about what's actually driving the crisis of young men - and why the church's standard diagnosis is wrong.Bradley traces the problem past porn and video games to a formation breakdown that started with the Industrial Revolution. When fathers left for factories and children left for schools, the developmental process that shaped boys into men for thousands of years simply stopped. The church didn't recover that ground. It replicated the separation with age-segregated ministries and accountability groups built on shame.

The result is a generation of men who have checked out — not angry, just resigned. And they're not pursuing women for the same reason: they don't know who they are yet, and nobody told them they were ready.

Bradley's prescription is intergenerational community and a church willing to speak identity over men instead of shame.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Dr. Anthony Bradley

• Instagram
• Substack
• His Books

Coming Up:

Join Bridgett's ⁠RECLAIM Info Party⁠ on April 18th 🎉

You'll learn her most successful tool for processing sexual desire in real time

Next ⁠Cohort⁠- Starts May 9th

Want help applying this to your dating life?

If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need:

🩷 Work with Bridgett

You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values

→ ⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠

📓 ⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠

→ ⁠Instagram⁠

→ ⁠Website⁠ 

💙 Work with Lauren

If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.

→ ⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠ We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 

📔 Get the free guide ⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠

→ ⁠Instagram⁠

→ ⁠Website⁠

--

Follow ⁠@datinganddesire⁠ on Instagram for updates and conversation: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/datinganddesire⁠

--

Topics covered in this episode: Christian dating, Christian men, male disengagement, formation crisis, masculinity and faith, intergenerational discipleship, men and the church, shame in church culture, men's ministry, accountability groups, attachment and addiction, father-son relationship, Industrial Revolution family, age-segregated ministry, marriage readiness, Christian marriage, dating and desire podcast, Anthony Bradley, self-resignation, video game addiction, single Christian men, Christian women dating, pursuing marriage, biblical marriage standards, married men success, church and young men, purity culture, identity in Christ, Christian podcast, faith and relationships

Episode 11 kicks off the D&D Debrief, a new recurring format where Bridgett and Lauren answer listener questions, recap past episodes, and preview what's coming. In this first one, they tackle four real questions: how to read whether someone is safe to date, what to do when rejection keeps happening, how to talk about different physical comfort levels, and how to tell if your desire is healthy or worth paying closer attention to. They also walk back through the first 10 episodes with personal reflections and share what's ahead for the show and their coaching practices.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Coming Up:

Join Bridgett's RECLAIM Info Party on April 18th 🎉

You'll learn her most successful tool for processing sexual desire in real time

Next Cohort- Starts May 9th

Want help applying this to your dating life?

If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need:

🩷 Work with Bridgett

You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values

→ RECLAIM Cohort

📓 Free Guides and Ecourse

→ Instagram

→ Website 

💙 Work with Lauren

If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.

→ Book a Dating Clarity Call We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 

📔 Get the free guide Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing

→ Instagram

→ Website

--Follow @datinganddesire on Instagram for updates and conversation:https://www.instagram.com/datinganddesire--Topics covered in this episode: Christian dating podcast, dating advice for Christians, how to know if someone is safe to date, reading red flags in dating, how to handle rejection in dating, perpetual singleness, fear of being single forever, different physical boundaries in dating, how to talk about physical limits with a partner, healthy desire vs. unhealthy desire, Christian singles, dating with faith, Christian relationship advice, how to trust your body in dating, asking someone out, Christian dating Q&A, D&D Debrief, Dating and Desire podcast, Bridgett Blood, Lauren Mathues

Bridgett and Lauren pick up where they left off in the stages-of-dating series and walk through what committed relationship actually looks like - what it requires, what conversations belong here, and what most people skip until it's too late. They define what commitment means at this stage (it's not knowing you want to marry someone - it's knowing you'd regret not finding out), and then they get into the real stuff: how to have the DTR conversation, when to bring up sexual history and mental health, what it looks like to lean on each other without becoming codependent, and why Bridgett believes every couple needs outside support before the engagement conversation even starts. They also preview part two, which will cover finances, sexual boundaries, family dynamics, and how those play out inside a committed dating relationship. If you're in the thick of figuring out whether this person is someone you can build a life with, this episode gives you a framework for how to find out.

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Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/68__3-ObcLQ

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If you're a Christian who wants to date with clarity and self-awareness, this is where you start.📱Follow @datinganddesire on Instagram for updates and conversation.⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/datinganddesire⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Connect with Bridgett:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bridgettblood.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Coaching | Free Resources | RECLAIM Cohort

📓Get the free Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://stan.store/bridgettblood/p/get-my-valuebased-boundaries-guide-⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Connect with Lauren:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://laurenmathues.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. Get the free guide here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://laurenmathues.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Bridgett and Lauren break down the first stage of dating - the part between meeting someone and deciding whether you want to be exclusive - and they want you to stop treating it like a marriage audition. Lauren shares her three-stage framework and makes the case that six to eight dates is enough time to know if you want to move forward, as long as you're actually being yourself. Bridgett talks about what she's learned to pay attention to in those first few conversations, why she stopped leading with faith questions, and how she thinks about physical connection in this stage. The two get practical about first dates, texting expectations, navigating early disagreements, and why the ability to repair matters more than the ability to avoid conflict. If dating feels impossibly high-stakes before you've even ordered coffee, this episode is the permission slip to lower the pressure and actually enjoy getting to know someone.

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Watch on YouTube: ⁠https://youtu.be/xvcStD3gDp4⁠

--

If you're a Christian who wants to date with clarity and self-awareness, this is where you start.📱Follow @datinganddesire on Instagram for updates and conversation.⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/datinganddesire⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Connect with Bridgett:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bridgettblood.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Coaching | Free Resources | RECLAIM Cohort

📓Get the free Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://stan.store/bridgettblood/p/get-my-valuebased-boundaries-guide-⁠⁠⁠⁠

--

Connect with Lauren:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://laurenmathues.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. Get the free guide here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://laurenmathues.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Your job is not your calling. Your relationship status is not your worth. And singleness is not a waiting room.

Malissa Mackey has spent over a decade helping people locate themselves in a better story - one where ordinary work carries real dignity, and where identity doesn't depend on job title or relationship status.

In this conversation, she and the hosts dig into what the Bible actually says about work, why the church often gets singleness wrong, and how the hunger for purpose in a career and the hunger for romantic relationship come from the same place. Her answer isn't a formula. It's a reorientation.

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Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hp-Lf1HIElw

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Malissa Mackey has served on staff with the Ministry of Cru since 1997, working with the Campus Ministry in Detroit and Chicago for 18 years, and with the City Division for the last 10 years. She directs Faith & Work Chicago in partnership with Holy Trinity Church and leads the Holy Trinity Institute for Discipleship and Mission. She cares deeply about helping people connect theology to everyday life and work. Malissa holds a Master of Arts in Theological Studies at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and is currently pursuing a Doctor of Ministry in Theology. She loves living in the Wicker Park neighborhood, exploring the great cities of the world, and cheering on her Chicago Cubs.

The Burnham Fellowship - our 9-month, intensive, whole-life discipleship cohort that runs Sep - May. We'll have some info sessions coming up this Spring. Learn more here: www.faithandworkchicago.com/whatisburnham

Learn more about other upcoming events at www.faithandworkchicago.com/eventswww.faithandworkchicago.com

www.htcinstitute.org

www.linkedin.com/in/malissa-mackeyccc

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If you're a Christian who wants to date with clarity and self-awareness, this is where you start.📱Follow @datinganddesire on Instagram for updates and conversation.⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/datinganddesire⁠⁠

--

Connect with Bridgett:

Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠https://bridgettblood.com/⁠⁠

Coaching | Free Resources | RECLAIM Cohort

📓Get the free Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide: ⁠⁠https://stan.store/bridgettblood/p/get-my-valuebased-boundaries-guide-⁠⁠

--

Connect with Lauren:

Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠https://laurenmathues.com/⁠⁠

Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. Get the free guide here: ⁠⁠https://laurenmathues.com/⁠⁠

--

David Boyajian is a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex addiction therapist based in San Diego. In this episode, he joins Lauren and Bridgett to talk about what lust actually is, how it differs from normal sexual awareness, and when a pattern crosses the line into addiction.

David explains the practical signs of addiction, why shame often makes the problem worse, and how the brain's dopamine system plays a role in compulsive sexual behavior. He also walks through what healthy recovery looks like, why he recommends at least 90 days of sobriety before dating, and how to have an honest conversation with a partner about your sexual history.

The episode covers the difference between white-knuckling sobriety and doing real internal work, the value of group therapy and 12-step programs for men, and how confidence in your own story changes the way disclosure lands in a relationship.

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Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/AXV48EI0Kpk

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Connect with David: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/david-boyajian-carlsbad-ca/1300673

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If you're a Christian who wants to date with clarity and self-awareness, this is where you start.📱Follow @datinganddesire on Instagram for updates and conversation.⁠https://www.instagram.com/datinganddesire⁠

--

Connect with Bridgett:

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/⁠

Website: ⁠https://bridgettblood.com/⁠

Coaching | Free Resources | RECLAIM Cohort

📓Get the free Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide: ⁠https://stan.store/bridgettblood/p/get-my-valuebased-boundaries-guide-⁠

--

Connect with Lauren:

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/⁠

Website: ⁠https://laurenmathues.com/⁠

Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. Get the free guide here: ⁠https://laurenmathues.com/⁠

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What if desire isn't the problem? What if the real issue is that you've never been taught how to develop it?

Jay Stringer is a licensed mental health counselor and author of Unwanted and the new book Desire. His original research on over 4,000 adults found that our longings, attractions, and even our unwanted behaviors carry real information about our stories. In this episode, he joins Bridgett and Lauren to talk about how desire shapes dating, marriage, family dynamics, and faith.

Jay breaks down why most people over-develop one area of desire - career, s-x, comfort - while neglecting others. He shares his own experience of navigating family loyalty, dating, and the patterns he brought into his marriage. He explains why contempt destroys relationships faster than almost anything else, and why curiosity about your own story is one of the most attractive things you can bring to a relationship.

This episode also gets into what sexual maturity looks like before marriage, why the conservative and progressive approaches to desire both miss the mark, and what it means to form your desires rather than fear them or follow them blindly.

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Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/WrpgNB9CXIw

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Connect with Jay at jay-stringer.com or on Instagram @jay_stringer_. His book Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow is available now!

Grab the book here: https://a.co/d/06rRK8CL

Get the companion workbook here: http://a.co/d/0dyoF4tz

--

If you're a Christian who wants to date with clarity and self-awareness, this is where you start.📱Follow @datinganddesire on Instagram for updates and conversation.https://www.instagram.com/datinganddesire

--

Connect with Bridgett:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/

Website: https://bridgettblood.com/

Coaching | Free Resources | RECLAIM Cohort

📓Get the free Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide: https://stan.store/bridgettblood/p/get-my-valuebased-boundaries-guide-

--

Connect with Lauren:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/

Website: https://laurenmathues.com/

Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. Get the free guide here: https://laurenmathues.com/

--

Bridgett and Lauren think flirting deserves a reputation upgrade - especially in the church. In this episode, they talk about why most Christians have been taught to suppress one of the most natural ways we connect with people, and what it costs us when we do. They get into the fears that keep people from flirting - fear of rejection, fear of being misread, fear of being labeled "too much" - and share what has actually helped them take the risk anyway. Lauren breaks down the nonverbal side of flirting and shares research that might change how bold you're willing to be. Bridgett talks about what she's learned from practicing low-stakes connection as a single woman and why the voices that show up when you try to flirt are worth listening to. If you've ever wanted to connect with someone but talked yourself out of it before you even smiled, this one's for you.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hSOzGp4vOGM

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If you're a Christian who wants to date with clarity and self-awareness, this is where you start.

📱Follow ⁠⁠@datinganddesire⁠⁠ on Instagram for updates and conversation.

==

Connect with Bridgett: ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠

⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ | Coaching| Free Resources| RECLAIM Cohort

📓Get the free ⁠⁠Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide⁠⁠

==

Connect with Lauren: ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ 

Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. ⁠⁠Get the free guide here!