A few years back, I was feeling so off — so stuck, so lost — that I ended up working with a shaman. I had a bowl of water with salt, herbs, and candles sitting under my bed. My husband walked in and called it salad.
I'm not making this up.
Here's the thing — I did feel better. But my business still wasn't working. Because I was looking at every external thing I could possibly fix and completely missing the one thing that actually needed my attention. Me.
In this episode, I'm getting into something I've been feeling myself lately — and hearing from a lot of people around me. That off feeling. Not knowing what's next. The doubt that creeps in. The habit of blaming the calendar, the costs, the team, the circumstances. And I'm sharing what my mentor said to me that stopped me cold.
You don't need to figure out who you are. You just need to decide.
We talk about how self-doubt hides underneath all that external blame, how your character gets revealed in the hardest moments — not built, revealed — and the question you need to sit with: are you the director of your life, or are you just along for the ride?
We also get into Viktor Frankl and Man's Search for Meaning, because even in the most extreme circumstances imaginable, the one thing no one can take from you is the choice of how you show up.
If you've been feeling off, this one's for you. The answer isn't outside you. It never was.
Key Takeaways:
• Self-doubt is hiding underneath all that external blame — the economy, the team, the calendar. The real problem isn't them. It's the story you're telling yourself about what's possible.
• You don't need to spend more time figuring out who you are. You need to decide who you are — and then show up as her every single day, even when it's hard.
• Character isn't something you have. It's something that gets revealed in moments of challenge and obstacle. How you show up right now is your character being shown to the world.
• The circumstances — costs up, people leaving, payroll pressure — those are always going to be there. They show up in different forms. The question is whether you're letting them dictate your belief in yourself.
• You can't control the outcome. But you always have control over how you show up in every single moment. That choice is always yours.
• Summoning who you are throughout the day isn't soft. It's the thing that actually moves the needle. 'I am the person who...' — repeated even when stuff hits the fan — is what keeps the progress going.
• When you decide who you are and how you're going to show up, your team feels it. Projects get done. Opportunities open up. Things start to flow.
Timestamps / Chapter Markers:
00:02 The question that opens everything
02:26 What happened when Theresa worked with a shaman
03:15 'I felt better — but I didn't figure out the business part of it'
04:00 The real diagnosis: it's not an external problem
05:30 'I feel off because I'm too busy' — the chaos loop
07:00 What the real problem is
08:15 What happens when big goals meet self-doubt
09:25 Theresa audits herself — and the whoa moment she didn't see coming
10:30 The morning routine that falls apart with one phone call
11:00 When someone suddenly quits
11:51 Who do you need to become in order to actually achieve these things?
13:00 How it manifests: disengagement, broken follow-through, everything on the back burner
13:58 Circumstances, challenges, obstacles — they're always going to be there. Always.
14:30 Viktor Frankl and Man's Search for Meaning — the one freedom no one can take
15:30 Setting a higher standard for yourself so your team rises to meet it
16:17 Stop. Think. Ask yourself the real question.
17:15 'I am the person who...'
17:45 Opportunities open when you stop white knuckling the outcome
If you heard yourself somewhere in this conversation, share it with someone who needs it. A fellow founder, a leader on your team, a friend who's been feeling off and can't quite name it.
We don't always know how to say, 'I'm struggling,' but sometimes we can hand someone a podcast episode and say, listen to this.
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