On The Mend – Détails, épisodes et analyse

We’re back! In this brand new season of On The Mend, Matt Willis opens up about what he’s been up to recently, alongside his struggles with overwhelm and the ongoing work of recovery. He shares what’s been helping, from hobbies to gratitude and sets the tone for a season full of raw, real conversations with guests, experts, and you. 

Expect new segments, deeper honesty, and powerful stories about what it really means to move forward.

Need Support?

Samaritans: Call 116 123 or visit samaritans.org

Narcotics Anonymous: na.org

Alcoholics Anonymous: alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

Mental Health Mates: mentalhealthmates.co.uk

Shout: https: giveusashout.org

IAPT: england.nhs.uk/mental-health/adults/nhs-talking-therapies/

Partners 🚨 Heights 👉 Join Matt in getting your energy back with Vitals. 20% off here: https://highpfrmc.com/OTM

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This week’s guest is the musician, actor, writer, and podcaster Jordan Stephens.

Jordan’s probably best known for Rizzle Kicks, the chart-topping duo he formed with his friend Harley Alexander-Sule, back in 2008.

He's since released music as a solo artist, starred in various TV and film projects, published a children’s book, and now he’s written a memoir: Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs.

In this conversation the pair discuss education, the impact of overnight success, ADHD, medication and self-medication, as well as their shared interest in psychedelics and Jordan’s journey towards healthier relationships.

For more information on some of the subjects Jordan mentioned, there are links below (including more on Professor Nutt and that toad venom).

And Jordan WILL return to On The Mend. These two just have too much in common.

Related links:

Jordan’s website

Rizzle Kicks on Instagram

Matt’s interview with Jordan on MTV Faces

BRIT School bursaries

Alan Watts on education

Dr Gabor Maté

The Anxious Generation by Joanthan Haidt

Johann Hari’s episode of On The Mend

Professor David Nutt and drug classification

A 2002 overview of the link between football hooliganism and ecstasy

The effects of the inhalation of dried toad secretion containing 5-MeO-DMT

The ongoing study at King’s College, London

The Esther Perel quote was incorrectly attributed but she’s a fan of the person who said it, Terry Real: “Under patriarchy, you can be connected, or you can be powerful, but you can't be both at the same time because power is power over, not power with, it’s dominance. So, if you move into power, you lose connection. If you move into accommodation, you lose your power. I want to break that binary.”

Donna Lancaster & The Bridge Retreat

(01:02) Jordan’s childhood

(05:28) BRIT School and creative education

(11:48) Rizzle Kicks, Busted and dealing with overnight success

(16:36) ADHD: from voice notes to diagnoses (plural)

(20:34) ADHD: medication and self-medication 

(27:40) Pattern recognition and relationships

(29:07) Sobriety and overcoming writer’s block

(30:54) Managing social media use

(35:52) Psychedelics (including dried toad secretion)

(45:43) Pressure to achieve vs connection

(47:02) Educating the next generation about relationships

(54:15) Matt’s conclusion

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Matt chats to the BAFTA Award-winning YouTube star, and campaigner, Nikki Lilly.

At the age of six, Nikki was diagnosed with a high flow craniofacial AVM (Arteriovenous Malformation). A rare condition which causes life-threatening nose bleeds and extreme swelling. Since then, Nikki’s had almost one hundred medical procedures, as well as therapy, to help process the trauma and pain.

When Nikki started vlogging two years later, she was spending a lot of time at home. She often felt disconnected from the world, from her peers, and she was looking for something to do. But her YouTube channel had an unexpected impact – helping her reach millions of people, while covering a range of topics, from online bullying, to chronic illness, mental health, and make-up (a big passion).

Nikki was only 19 at the time of recording this conversation but she has wisdom and strength beyond her years. And she’s determined to make a positive difference by sharing her story and films.

Related links:

Nikki’s YouTube Channel

Tik Tok

The Butterfly AVM Charity

Nikki’s award-winning BBC documentary: Born To Vlog

(01:35) Nikki on her BAFTA Award (and fear of public speaking)

(04:16) Posting her first YouTube video (and dealing with negative comments)

(18:49) Nikki’s time in hospital and disconnection from her peers

(22:02) What is AVM? (Arteriovenous Malformation)

(26:33) How therapy has helped Nikki

(35:02) Dissociation and how Nikki grounds herself

(37:37) Importance of alone time

(42:45) Parental support

(45:36) The power in make-up

(51:36) Being an inspiration and advocate for visible difference

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We’re 8 episodes into series 2 of On The Mend… and what a journey it’s been so far!

It’s about time we looked back on some of our best moments. So today, Matt is reflecting on the lessons his recent guests have taught him. Unpicking the key messages that have stuck with him for weeks on end – and are sure to stick with you too. 

We’re looking back on our chats with Geordie Queen Vicky Pattison, Alcohol-Free Advocate Andy Ramage, and Mental Health Pioneer Ruby Wax. Each had their own story to tell. From the fear of passing problems on to your kids, to understanding what ‘middle lane drinking’ is, to taking the stigma away from depression, there’s plenty for us to dive into. 

What’s been your favourite moment from series 2? Leave a comment. We’d love to know!

(0:00) Intro

(0:59) Daily Gratitude (new ice bath!)

(1:51) Spending more time with my wife

(3:05) Spending more time with my son

(4:40) What have I learnt from On The Mend’s guests so far?

(5:12) What I’ve learnt from Vicky Pattison 

(8:30) Is addiction genetic or generational trauma?

(12:45) What Andy Ramage taught me about ‘middle lane drinking’

(21:05) What Ruby Wax taught me about mental health

(25:36) Outro

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Matt speaks to his very own psychiatrist, Dr James Kustow, about adult ADHD.

James studied medicine, before training in psychiatry. He’s now a consultant who specialises in ADHD and has trained further in psychotherapy and nutrition. 

But being an expert is only half of the story. Because, like Matt, James was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult.

In this wide-ranging conversation, the pair talk about ADHD symptoms, diagnosis, the correlation with addiction, the use of medication, and the different targets for intervention that James explores, before taking a pharmaceutical approach.

Related links:

Dr James Kustow

How to Thrive with Adult ADHD: 7 Pillars for Focus, Productivity and Balance

Dr William Dodson on emotional regulation

Dr Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset

EFT (emotional freedom techniques)

NHS Guide to ADHD

(01:55) James’ training and specialism in ADHD

(05:06) What is ADHD

(09:50) Matt’s ADHD diagnosis

(10:47) Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)

(13:25) The clarity that comes with diagnosis 

(15:10) More on the symptoms of ADHD

(17:50) Adult onset ADHD, and other factors (environment, hyper-mobility & inflammation)

(22:18) The ADHD assessment and childhood history

(28:57) James’ ADHD diagnosis

(34:25) The challenge of achieving goals and completing tasks 

(37:42) Variations in the presentation of ADHD

(41:38) ADHD and addiction

(45:46) Medication

(55:18) Growth mindset

(59:56) Sleep, routine & ADHD

(1:01:33) Taking control of your time

(1:05:02) Systems to avoid feeling overloaded

(1:08:30) Looking at physical health 

(1:11:00) Emotional regulation techniques

(1:12:36) Matt’s outro

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This week we're getting personal! 
Matt is upping the vulnerability scale, as he lets the closest people in his life – colleagues, friends, and even his wife – fire a round of constructive criticism his way.
Getting feedback about your flaws is extremely scary. But it's a powerful way to identify the things you need to work on. And if Matt can do it, so can all of you listening!
Wherever you are in your addiction recovery journey, mental health journey, or general self development journey, this is a pitstop you'll want to take note of. 

(0:00) Daily gratitude
(3:15) Criticism and feedback
(4:52) Becoming comfortable with criticism (learn to be vulnerable!)
(9:15) Learning to follow through 
(11:10) Stop swearing so much!
(13:47) Passion being your strength and your flaw
(14:53) Criticism from my wife, Emma
(17:50) Advice from Jordan Stephens (Rizzle Kicks) on changing your environment
(19:30) How to work on your problems
(19:58) How to live honestly 
(22:10) Holding your partner accountable
(24:32) outro  

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This week’s guest is Ruby Wax. A comedian, writer, and mental health advocate, who has wisdom to spare.

When she was younger, Ruby often felt lonely - like she didn’t fit in - and she turned to comedy. A reinvention that gave Ruby a taste for attention and led her to drama school, and eventually her own television show in which she met the biggest celebrities of the day.

After 25 years in television, Ruby reinvented herself once again. She studied mindfulness-based cognitive therapy at Oxford University. And she now works to remove the stigma around mental health. Not least in her book - I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was - a very personal account of depression and the adventures she followed to find meaning in her life.

Related links:

Ruby’s website

Ruby’s books, including I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was and A Mindfulness Guide For Survival

Ruby’s tour

When Ruby Wax Met (BBC series)

Frazzled Cafe

NHS Guide to Local Mental Health Services

Mind’s Guide to Crisis Services

Esther Perel (one of Ruby’s heroes)

The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Dr Dan Siegel

Sam Harris

Jon Kabat-Zinn on mindfulness

(02:14) Soft toy vs green juice (04:22) Ruby’s book (I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was) (12:00) Depression, and coming off antidepressants (13:38) EMDR, ECT, and other treatments (17:19) De-stigmatising depression, while taking it seriously (20:24) Psilocybin therapy (22:41) Mindfulness and a 30-day silent retreat (28:24) Ruby’s mindfulness practice (37:36) The addict label and the victim mentality(39:55) Ruby’s heroes, including Esther Perel, Bessel van der Kolk, Dan Siegel and Sam Harris(42:17) Reinvention (and the addictiveness of fame)(45:15) Ruby Wax Meets (Pamela Anderson, Carrie Fisher, Donald Trump & Liza Minnelli)(48:42) Ruby’s tour (and playing all the parts in her book)(51:26) Matt’s outro

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Matt is putting himself in the hot seat for today’s episode! We’ve rounded up some of your most pressing questions for an honest, judgment-free Q and A session, where Matt shares some of his own personal experiences in hopes that some of you guys will resonate.

We’re diving deep into the aspects of sobriety nobody talks about, how to deal with anxiety, managing family life, and much more.

If you have a question that Matt didn’t cover, we’d like to do more of these! Just leave a reply in the Q and A box below.

(00:00) – Introduction 

(00:31) – Daily gratitude 

(03:54) – How am I? (struggling with sleep)

(06:40) – How to manage your time better

(07:56) – Quick breathing exercise for anxiety 

(11:00) – Following a 12-step programme for sobriety 

(16:24) – Maintaining a schedule 

(18:08) – Has being in a band made addiction harder?

(21:26) – Setting boundaries

(23:16) – Busted tours are better sober!

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Matt meets Andy Ramage, a footballer who became a commodities broker, when injury ended his career. 

While Andy's career was a success, something was missing. He felt broken. And so ten years ago, he embarked on a journey to transform his life.

Andy realised that alcohol was impacting how he felt, and his ability to get things done. So, he set his sights on a 90 days booze-free challenge. And he’s never looked back.

If you need a bit of motivation right now, whatever challenge you want to take on, Andy’s the man for the occasion.

Related links:

Andy’s website (with free resources and coaching workshops)

Andy’s books: Let’s Do This & The 28 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge

The Alcohol-Free Advantage Podcast with Andy Ramage

The Dryy App

Dryy Fest

NHS Alcohol Support Services

Nick Littlehales’ Sleep 

BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits

(01:23) Andy’s move from football into broking

(05:40) Andy’s definition of “middle-lane drinking”

(08:42) Wanting to try alcohol-free (and the social pressure around drinking)

(14:37) Andy's diagnosis of coronary artery calcification

(16:32) Living optimally alcohol-free - the health benefits

(20:46) Matt’s experience of people asking him about their own drinking

(21:58) Andy’s advice for starting an alcohol-free journey (moving past the excuses)

(25:33) The effect that middle lane drinking has on your sleep, performance and health

(31:00) What’s going on in your brain (chasing that dopamine spike

(34:32) Relationships with people who aren’t alcohol-free

(37:57) The red wine myth (resveratrol) and “magic grannies”

(40:34) Socialising, alcohol-free drinks, and Dryy Fest (46:57) Studying in later life

(48:22) Willpower and motivational psychology

(49:48) Andy’s advice for building exercise habits (and core values)

(54:40) The stages of change and accepting that you will slip up

(58:14) Matt’s outro 

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