“Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship” is for anyone who wants to make sense of the gray areas of adult friendship: changed closeness, uneven effort, group dynamics, hurt feelings, and what to say and do next. As Nina always says, "Friendship issues are ageless and timeless." You can listen and relate to these topics no matter your age or your stage of life.
And Dear Nina is a top 1% podcast so people of all ages are listening!
Whether you've agonized over a text, wondered why you're always the one reaching out, found yourself drifting away from an old friend, or you want to make (and keep!) friends at ANY stage of life—this show gets it. It’s serious and practical, but you’ll laugh a lot too as you recognize the universality of human behavior when it comes to friendships.
"Dear Nina" is hosted by Nina Badzin, who has been answering anonymous questions with "warm directness" in her friendship column since 2014 and in other writing about friendship for over 20 years. Every episode digs into the questions adults don't always want to ask out loud. Should you salvage a friendship that's fading or let it be? How do you kindly turn down an acquaintance who wants to be closer, but you're just not feeling the same chemistry? With over 200 episodes, the examples are endless.
Nina has been writing about friendship in various capacities for two decades, and her advice has been featured in NPR, Real Simple Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, Time Magazine, The Skimm, and many other outlets.
Every episode leaves room for the fact that there are no perfect answers. There's only real talk, a lot of warmth, and the reminder that if you're overthinking your friendships, you're probably just someone who cares deeply about the people in your life.
Social connections MATTER deeply for your health and happiness! Let's talk about how to make it all easier.
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#213 - Friendship "Flings," Uneven Effort, and Being Stuck in the Middle (Dr. Miriam Kirmayer)
Saison 1 · Épisode 213
lundi 28 septembre 2026 • Durée 52:12
Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is back on Dear Nina, and this time we did something different: we each brought friendship questions the other person had not seen in advance.
No prep. No polished answers. Just two people who think about friendship constantly digging into the kinds of questions that rarely have a clean yes-or-no answer.
Dr. Miriam is a clinical psychologist and a well-known friendship researcher. She also now hosts the friendship podcast Two Peas on a Pod.
WE GET INTO:
What to do when two friends are fighting and you’re stuck in the middle. Can you really stay neutral, and how do you avoid becoming the go-between?
“Friendship flings.” Why do some friendships get intense very quickly and then cool off just as fast? And when is that simply normal versus part of a larger pattern?
The eternal reciprocity problem. If you’re always the one reaching out, does that actually mean your friend cares less?
When a friend is great one-on-one but treats you differently in a group. We talk about teasing, exclusion, mixed signals, and what Dr. Miriam calls an “ambivalent friendship.”
Why making plans is more complicated than it sounds. Reaching out, comparing calendars, choosing the place, making the reservation—sometimes one person is carrying more of that invisible work than anyone realizes.
And finally, we turn the questions on ourselves: Does talking about friendship professionally make us self-conscious about our own friendships?
Two Peas on a Pod episodes about friendship breakups. Part one and Part two.
MEET DR. MIRIAM KIRMAYER:
Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is a clinical psychologist, leading friendship expert, and one of the most influential speakers on human connection and social support. See more about Dr. Miriam's courses, keynotes, articles and more at www.miriamkirmayer.com. Listen to the podcast: Two Peas on a Pod. Find Dr. Miriam on Instagram on @miriamkirmayer.
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Laura realized that she had been relying on the history, chemistry, and closeness she felt with certain friends without doing enough to maintain those relationships as work, family, and other responsibilities increased. She wasn’t always texting back. She wasn’t checking in. And eventually, several friends cared enough about the friendships to tell her that it hurt.
One of Laura’s biggest realizations was that there was a disconnect between what was in her heart and what her actions were communicating. She deeply valued these friends, but they couldn’t know that if she wasn’t showing it.
So Laura did something surprisingly practical: she started putting friendship on her actual to-do list.
WE DISCUSSED:
Why friendship sometimes needs to be treated as something we intentionally maintain—not something that runs on autopilot
The difference between making a friend a priority and making friendship feel like a chore
What to do when “I’m busy” or “I’m overwhelmed” starts becoming an excuse for behavior that’s hurting people we care about
Why responding to strangers online can sometimes feel easier than responding to the people closest to us (and why our friends might still take that personally)
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Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
#211 - You Don’t Have to Be Fully Secure to Have Good Friendships (Dr. Marisa G. Franco)
Saison 1 · Épisode 211
lundi 14 septembre 2026 • Durée 36:01
Dr. Marisa G. Franco is back on Dear Nina! This time we spoke about her new book, Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, and how our sense of self-worth affects the friendships we build, keep, and sometimes struggle to trust.
Marisa’s first book, Platonic, focused on how we create and maintain strong friendships. Worth goes a step further inward: What happens when the way we see ourselves makes it harder to believe that other people genuinely like us, value us, or want to be close to us?
One of my favorite ideas from our conversation is Marisa’s argument that the goal isn’t to become perfectly secure. It’s to become secure-ish—aware of the anxious, avoidant, insecure parts of ourselves without pretending they’ve disappeared.
We discussed:
How old friendship hurts can become “open memories” that continue to shape new relationships
Why one painful rejection can make us expect rejection long after the original friendship is over
How low self-worth can sometimes look like not initiating, pulling away, rejecting compliments, or needing constant reassurance
When reassurance starts becoming exhausting for the friend who is constantly being asked to prove the friendship
Why our assumptions about what friends think of us may say more about our own fears than about what’s actually happening
Marisa shares the story of Esme, who carried one devastating friendship moment from middle school into adulthood and became afraid to initiate with people she genuinely wanted to know. We expand on Esme's story to talk about reciprocity, rejection, memory, and the possibility of changing the meaning we’ve attached to experiences from years ago.
I also share one of my own “open memories” from college and what came up for me while working through one of Marisa’s exercises in the book.
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO
Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
#210 - AI, Friendship, and the Danger of Outsourcing Connection (Sarah Baldeo)
Saison 1 · Épisode 210
dimanche 6 septembre 2026 • Durée 40:50
Why human connection requires friction, empathy, and accountability.
I have real concerns about AI, and one of my biggest is what happens when we start treating it like a person—especially a friend.
My guest, Sarah Baldeo, is a neuroscientist and the author of 100 Ways to Future Proof Your Brain in the Age of AI. She has spent more than 20 years working at the intersection of neuroscience and artificial intelligence, so I wanted to bring some of my biggest worries about AI and human connection directly to her and I appreciated her treating my concerns with seriousness and respect. My biggest takeaway remains the same: we need to be very careful not to confuse something that can imitate human connection with the real thing.
We discussed:
What happens when we ask AI what to say to a grieving friend instead of working through our own empathy
Why AI can feel like the “perfect friend”—always available, agreeable, and unlikely to make us uncomfortable
Why real friendship requires disagreement, reciprocity, boredom, and sometimes friction
The risks of outsourcing too much of our emotional and cognitive processing
Why I’m especially concerned about teenagers growing up with generative AI
How Sarah believes AI can actually be used to challenge our thinking rather than replace it
My deep concern that we need to be very careful about confusing something that can imitate human connection with the real thing!
MEET SARAH BALDEO:
Sarah Baldeo, PhD (c), Executive MBA, is a bestselling author, neuroscientist, AI futurist, TED speaker, and CEO of ID Quotient Advisory, whose work explores how artificial intelligence is reshaping human cognition, executive judgment, and leadership decision making and what that means for how we connect, trust, and relate to one another; she is also the world’s foremost doctoral researcher on AI and cognition. She is the author of , and has been featured on CBC News, CTV, NBC, SiriusXM, and Yahoo Finance. A global keynote speaker with more than 1,300 appearances across North America and Europe, Sarah advises organizations on the future of human intelligence in the age of AI. Connect with her on and .
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO
Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
#209 - Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Kids and Adults (Caroline Maguire)
Saison 1 · Épisode 209
dimanche 30 août 2026 • Durée 48:21
I’ve spoken before on Dear Nina about neurodiversity and friendship with several fantastic guests, but I wanted to have a conversation that could speak both to parents raising neurodivergent kids and to neurodivergent adults navigating friendship themselves.
We talked about encouraging friendship without forcing it, finding environments where connection comes more naturally, handling rejection, understanding the difference between an acquaintance and a friend, and taking those sometimes-awkward next steps that help a friendship grow.
What I especially loved about Caroline’s approach is that friendship skills aren’t about becoming someone else. They’re about understanding yourself, building confidence, and finding the people who appreciate you as you are.
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO
Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
#208 - Making Friends at Any Age Takes a Little Risk (Harlan Cohen)
Saison 1 · Épisode 208
dimanche 23 août 2026 • Durée 40:27
Harlan Cohen on friendship, social courage, and finding places where you belong.
Finding friendship—at any stage of life—requires the risk of hearing “no.” And that “no” rarely comes directly.
That’s one of the ideas I dig into with Harlan Cohen, a New York Times bestselling author and founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. So much of what Harlan teaches incoming college students and their parents applies just as much in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. This episode was so popular last year that I was waiting for the right time to play it again. The week I'm dropping off child #2 at college is the right time for sure!
If you’re starting over socially, hoping to expand your circle, or just tired of feeling bruised by the ups and downs of friendship, this one’s for you.
We get into:
Why taking risks and hearing “no” are simply part of friendship at every age
The difference between an expectation and a requirement in friendship
What to do if you’re always the one initiating plans—a popular topic on Dear Nina, and Harlan’s answer was fantastic
Harlan’s framework of "people, places, and patience"—and why we all need places where we’re accepted simply for showing up as ourselves, with no barrier to entry
The story of Harlan’s first college roommate and the twist he didn’t learn until 30 years later
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO
Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
#207 - The Teen Friendship Habits We Bring Into Adulthood (Sheri Gazitt)
Saison 1 · Épisode 207
dimanche 16 août 2026 • Durée 29:40
Friend groups, exclusion, conflict, and the patterns we don’t always outgrow
Some friendship habits start much earlier than we realize. The way we react to being left out, how much security we get from being part of a group, whether we avoid conflict, and even how willing we are to be vulnerable with friends can all have roots in our teen years.
We spoke about the difference between being deliberately excluded and simply not being invited, why being part of a friend group isn’t always the same thing as having close friendships, and what Sheri calls creating “parallel friendships” instead of putting all of our social energy into one group.
We also got very practical about conflict. Sheri shared a four-step approach to having a difficult conversation with a friend, including one step I especially appreciated: considering whether there’s any part of the situation you need to own yourself.
And we talk about what can happen after friendship disappointments pile up. Sometimes the way we protect ourselves is by keeping future friendships at a safe, superficial distance without even realizing we’re doing it.
This episode is useful whether you’re watching your own teenager navigate friendship or recognizing some very familiar patterns in your adult life. The good news is that these are skills—and we can keep getting better at them.
MEET SHERI GAZITT
Sheri Gazitt is an international friendship expert, speaker, and founder of . With over 30 years of experience and a background in counseling psychology, she’s helped thousands of girls navigate friendship struggles, social anxiety, and the emotional ups and downs of growing up. She’s the author of Girl Drama Decoded and supports moms through her while also working directly with teen girls through private coaching. Coach Sheri is known for making complex social dynamics feel understandable and giving families practical ways to build confidence, connection, and healthier friendships. Find Sheri on and on
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO
Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
#206 - How Friendships Change When You Stop Drinking (Suzanne Warye)
Saison 1 · Épisode 206
dimanche 9 août 2026 • Durée 33:41
Alcohol is so woven into social life that choosing not to drink can change how you spend time with friends, which invitations come your way, and what you begin to notice about the way you connect.
In the episode Suzanne and I spoke honestly about the friendships that remained strong, the friendships that faded, and the hurt of being left off an invitation because someone assumes a sober friend would not want to come.
We also discussed learning to sit through the first awkward minutes of a gathering without numbing your anxiety and why Suzanne’s standards for connection changed once alcohol was no longer the main event. We briefly chatted about THC drinks and gummies, phone use as another form of escape, and motherhood and “mommy wine culture.” And we talked about what happens when you start wanting your time with friends to feel more present and less "numb."
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO
Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
#205 - Get Offline and See Your Friends
Saison 1 · Épisode 205
dimanche 2 août 2026 • Durée 10:08
I’m fresh off the "Dear Nina Live" event in Minneapolis to celebrate five years of the podcast. And after such a big week, I was ready to step away from my computer for a bit. So I said yes to mahjong (twice!), tennis, a walk, and time with friends. It was exactly the reset I was looking for, even though I'm WAY BEHIND on work now.
This short episode is a reminder to get out from behind the texts, emails, memes, and endless to-do list and spend some time with your friends in person. Say yes when you can, or make the plan yourself, and remember that even a walk or a cup of coffee counts. It can be that simple--short and sweet.
And to everyone who came to the event in Minnesota--THANK YOU!
LINKS MENTIONED:
Here's a 30-second reel of the live event in Minneapolis to celebrate 5 years of the podcast.
Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
#204 - "Go where the heat Is”: My Husband on Five Years of Friendship Advice
Saison 1 · Épisode 204
dimanche 26 juillet 2026 • Durée 28:59
To mark five years of making this podcast, I invited the person who has heard every episode, encouraged every new idea, and occasionally reminded me to follow my own friendship advice. Welcome to my husband, Bryan!
Bryan hasn't been on Dear Nina since the first year! I brought him back to talk about what has surprised him after five years of listening to conversations about every aspect of friendship. He shared the theme he's been noticing beneath the friendship dilemmas: two people do not want the same type of friendship.
We also talk about one of the messages Bryan has heard me repeat the most: If you want to see a friend, reach out. Don’t sit back, keep score, or “match their energy.” That doesn’t mean giving everyone the same amount of time or continuing to chase people who never respond. Bryan puts it another way: Go where the heat is. Pay attention to the people who are glad to hear from you and who return your efforts in their own way.
We discuss:
Why uneven desire is behind so many friendship questions that come my way
Why Bryan believes “don’t wait” is some of the most useful advice from the show
What to do instead of "matching someone else’s energy"
Why electronic contact cannot fully replace phone calls and time together
A past episode that changed how Bryan thinks about what we give to a friendship
The friendship struggles I still have to work on myself!
Why couple friendships work best when both partners help keep them going
How Dear Nina grew from an advice column and listener letters into conversations with authors, researchers, therapists, and other friendship thinkers
A special thank-you to my brother-in-law, Dave Dluger, who helped me produce and edit the earliest Dear Nina episodes and convinced me I could learn how to make a podcast. And thank you to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs, who has become an essential part of nearly every podcast decision, guest conversation, and episode idea.
Links mentioned:ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO
Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
Paying attention to the particular ways our friends like to connect
How our ideas about boundaries and self-care can work against the relationships we say are important to us
I especially love Laura’s emphasis on noticing—noticing what makes a particular friend feel cared for, noticing the patterns in our own behavior, and noticing when our intentions and our actions aren’t lining up.
And no, this episode isn’t an argument that you have to answer every text immediately or be endlessly available. It’s about something much more basic: If you want the friendship, are you behaving like you want the friendship?
Laura Tremaine is a writer and podcaster based in Los Angeles. She’s the author of two books about connection and friendship, is the co-host of the SLOW READ podcast, and she writes and hosts regular conversations on her Secret Stuff substack. You can usually find her on Instagram @Laura.Tremaine.
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🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.
And we get into something I talk about often on this show: sometimes a friend’s lack of initiation really does mean something—and sometimes it doesn’t. Self-worth, fear of rejection, disorganization, and all kinds of other factors can sit underneath behavior we’re very quick to take personally.
She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging at corporations, government agencies, non-profits, and universities. For tips on friendship, you can follow her on Instagram (DrMarisaGFranco), or go to her website, www.DrMarisaGFranco.com, where you can take a quiz to assess your strengths and weaknesses as a friend & reach out for speaking engagements.
!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify
🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.
MEET CAROLINE MAGUIRE:
Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., ACCG, PCC is an internationally recognized expert in social-emotional learning, ADHD coaching, and relationship development. She is the author of the award-winning book, Why Will No One Play with Me? and FRIENDSHIP SKILLS FOR NEURODIVERGENT ADULTS (Balance Books), and hosts The ADHD Social Playbook podcast. An educator, coach, and sought-after speaker, Caroline developed a comprehensive Social Emotional Learning (SEL) training methodology that equips parents, clinicians, and educators with practical tools to build self-awareness, emotional regulation, social understanding, and meaningful relationships. As a neurodivergent person with ADHD, dyslexia, and learning disabilities, she brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work.
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Harlan is the New York Times bestselling author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into In College and six other titles (over 1 million copies in print). His social media accounts have over 1.5 million followers and he hosts the popular podcast, The Harlan Cohen Podcast. He is the founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. Harlan lives in Chicago, Illinois with his wife and three children.
!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify
🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.
Meet Suzanne:
Suzanne Warye is a sobriety influencer and the host of the popular podcast The Sober Mom Life. Residing on the North Shore of Chicago with her husband and three kids, Suzanne spends most of her time reheating her coffee and rocking her “whole heart, half ass” parenting philosophy. Her new book THE SOBER SHIFT: A Modern-Day Guide to Living an Abundant Sober Life is currently available in hardcover, audio and e-book and the paperback will be available on Sept 29, 2026. To connect follow her on Instagram @suzannewarye or visit www.thesobermomlife.com
!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify
🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.
Listeners: Thank you for rooting for this show, sharing episodes with friends, sending your questions, and talking with me about friendship for so many years. This podcast would not be here without you!
🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.
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