Becoming UnDone – Détails, épisodes et analyse

About the Guest

Barrett Baker is a former walk-on turned team captain of the 1998 University of Arizona Wildcats football team, which is known as the most successful team in the school's history. After his collegiate football career, Baker went on to serve with the Tucson Fire Department, where he has been a firefighter for 25 years, working in various capacities and achieving the rank of Assistant Chief. Married to his college sweetheart and a father of three, Baker continues to carry the lessons he learned under Coach Dick Tomey into his personal and professional life.

Episode Summary

In this captivating episode of "Becoming UnDone," host Toby Brooks converses with Barrett Baker, former University of Arizona Wildcats team captain, about his journey from a walk-on to a key player on the 1998 team that made history. Barrett shares insights into the profound influence of Coach Dick Tomey on his life on and off the field. Through engaging stories, Barrett illustrates how Coach Tomey's lessons in leadership, resilience, and teamwork continue to shape his approach to life and work as an Assistant Chief with the Tucson Fire Department.

The conversation deep dives into themes of leadership, resilience, and personal growth, highlighting Coach Tomey’s unique approach to fostering team unity and individual belief. Barrett's anecdotes about his experiences under Coach Tomey not only illuminate the legendary coach's character but also serve as timeless lessons in perseverance and integrity. This episode offers a nuanced look at the lasting impact of Tomey's legacy, emphasizing how meaningful relationships and dedicated mentorship can transform lives. Join Toby Brooks and Barrett Baker for a heartfelt exploration of leadership, community, and the enduring spirit of becoming.

Key Takeaways

• Leadership through Unity: Coach Dick Tomey was renowned for his ability to build unity and trust, focusing on the team’s collective strength and fostering a family-like atmosphere.
• Opportunity and Resilience: Barrett Baker’s transition from a walk-on to team captain illustrates the power of persistence and taking advantage of opportunities to define success.
• Impactful Mentorship: Tomey’s personalized approach to coaching, such as writing handwritten notes, had a profound impact on players, encouraging them to push beyond their limits.
• Life Beyond Athletics: The lessons learned on the field have translated into Barrett’s career and personal life, driving his leadership in the Tucson Fire Department.
• Legacy of Love and Integrity: Tomey’s emphasis on treating others with respect and kindness resonates through the personal and professional lives of his former players.

Notable Quotes

1. "You have to believe in the mirror because that person is going to question you more than any other person in your life." - Barrett Baker
2. "Your actions are speaking so loudly that I can't hear what you are saying." - Coach Dick Tomey, as quoted by Toby Brooks
3. "If he believed in me, then I can believe in me." - Barrett Baker
4. "He rewarded you if you worked hard and paid off what you put into things." - Barrett Baker

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Episode Summary

In this episode, Toby Brooks delves into the profound impact of reaching career milestones and the subsequent existential challenges that can follow. Reflecting on his personal journey, Toby describes the moment when achieving tenure, a lifelong academic goal, ironically ushered in a period of stagnation and introspection, leading to a deep existential crisis. This realization of "now what?" profoundly shaped his understanding of professional achievements and personal identity.

Throughout the episode, Toby Brooks shares insights on "The Science of the Comeback," a methodology he developed through personal experience and rigorous study. Centered on the "three Rs": Reflect, Realign, and Rebuild, this method helps individuals navigate the unsettling aftermath of professional accomplishments and burnout. The episode emphasizes the importance of reassessing personal values and crafting a resilient identity aligned with one's true purpose. Toby's narrative serves as a motivational guide for listeners seeking to transition through life's pivotal moments with clarity and intention.

Key Takeaways

• Achievement and Crisis: Achieving significant professional milestones can sometimes lead to feelings of emptiness and existential crisis.
• The Three Rs Framework: Toby proposes a strategic approach for personal and professional comebacks: Reflect, Realign, and Rebuild.
• Identity Beyond Titles: Success isn't just about titles or positions but understanding and letting go of past identities tied to them.
• Purpose and Clarity: Realigning with core values rather than external validation can reignite passion and purpose.
• Continuous Growth: The unraveling of one's identity is not an ending but an opportunity for growth and new beginnings.

Notable Quotes

• "The comeback isn't magic, it's method. There's a science to rebuilding when your world goes silent."
• "Reflect on what was lost. Not just the job or the title, but the identity behind it."
• "Stop chasing applause and start asking better questions. Who am I becoming?"
• "Your comeback isn't a matter of luck or timing. It's a matter of strategy, surrender, and showing up one disciplined step at a time."
• "Because when you become undone, you realize… you aren't done yet."

Resources

• To learn more about Toby Brooks and his work, listeners may want to explore linktr.ee/tobyjbrooks.

Discover more about overcoming professional plateaus and personal growth by tuning into the full episode. Stay tuned for more insightful discussions that promise to inspire and educate on navigating life's pivotal moments.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

About the Guest

Mike Flores is a seasoned executive leadership coach and former assistant football coach. Throughout his impressive career, Flores has worked at institutions such as UCLA, the University of Hawaii, San Jose State, and the University of Arizona under distinguished figures like Dick Tomey and Dick Vermeil. Currently, he is the founder and president of Inner Champion Consulting, where he provides executive coaching and leadership training to upper-level executives and sports professionals. 

Episode Summary

In this captivating episode of "Becoming UnDone," host Toby Brooks takes listeners through the inspiring journey of legendary football coach Dick Tomey, focusing on his lesser-known early years. The episode opens with a powerful story about how one small act of kindness can lead to monumental change, ultimately setting the stage for a series of discussions on the cascading effects of positive mentorship and leadership. Brooks passionately narrates the lineage of renowned coaches and athletes whose lives were touched by these moments, emphasizing the ripple effects of effective leadership. 

As the episode progresses, Brooks delves deeper into Tomey's journey, reflecting on the early days of his coaching career before joining the University of Hawaii's program. Notable guest Mike Flores shares firsthand insights into Tomey's remarkable ability to unite diverse staff and athletes, bringing them together under a single vision. Enriched by the narratives of Tomey's contemporaries and protégés, this episode provides an introspective look at how Tomey's leadership style transformed various athletic programs and impacted the lives of countless individuals. Integral themes explored include the importance of people-centric leadership, fostering respect and unity among a diverse team, and the enduring influence of a beloved mentor. 

Key Takeaways

• Mentorship's Impact: The influence of early mentors like Edward Kimball and Hank Johnson had massive ripple effects, akin to that of Dick Tomey's in the athletic world.
• Leadership Style: Dick Tomey's unique ability to unite diverse individuals and instill respect and a sense of community is underscored. His people-first approach was pivotal in his transformative leadership journey.
• Challenges and Triumphs: Tomey's transition to Hawaii is a testament to his resolve in overcoming initial obstacles to build a respected program and culture.
• Enduring Legacy: His ability to push individuals to their limits while deeply investing in their personal development is highlighted as a hallmark of his career.
• Personal Memories: Insightful anecdotes from Mike Flores reflect personal and professional experiences with Coach Tomey, painting a vivid picture of a coach who led with intensity intertwined with compassion.

Notable Quotes

• "Football is easy. People are complicated." - Dick Tomey
• "Dick was the toughest…most intense person I've ever been around. His intensity was contagious." - Mike Flores
• "He believed in Dick Tomey and that belief helped shape the foundation of a coaching career." - Toby Brooks
• "Just think about it,

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Growing up in a family of rabid fans for their hometown St. Louis Cardinals, Rob Simms recognized his love for baseball early in life. However, after Rob’s father passed away suddenly due to cancer when Rob was just 6 years old, baseball soon become more than just something to watch. It became something to live and something to be. Rob discovered peace and solace in the hours spent practicing and playing. Eventually, his efforts led to success in high school that opened the door to an athletic scholarship to Truman State University in Kirksville, Missouri.

After four years of hard work both on the diamond and in the classroom, Rob endured the painful crossroads of the nearly simultaneous end of an athletic and academic career that had for so long been his identity. A career in sports media followed, eventually leading to a position as a sports information director at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska. Over time, he began to realize that his goals as a husband and dad were increasingly at odds with the demands of his job, and he left to pursue a career in non-profit fundraising, ultimately finding success in helping clients raise more than $100 million in capital while still getting to serve as a broadcaster as the voice of the Creighton Bluejays Women’s Basketball team for the past 21 years.

Hear Rob tell his story of overcoming the painful loss of his dad early in life to eventually find his passion on the baseball diamond, jobs in professional sports and a Division I athletics department, and eventually a highly successful career as a non-profit fundraiser in Episode 23: GETTIN’ HECTIC   

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

"From Elite Gymnast to Near-Death Accident: Krickitt Carpenter's Amazing Story of Resilience"

SUMMARY 

Krickitt Carpenter was an Arizona native and college gymnast whose dreams of a scholarship came true when she competed and earned her way to the Cal State Fullerton team. A knee injury cut her career short, but she managed to graduate with a degree in exercise physiology. An unexpected encounter led to a relationship and eventually a wedding, but a car accident that nearly took her life left her with a brain injury that erased all memories of her courtship, wedding, and husband. After a long recovery, Krickitt and her husband tried dating again and eventually remarried. Their story of unwavering commitment and refusal to turn their backs on their vows became a best-selling book and a hit movie. However, their marriage eventually ended.

Krickitt was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona and grew up in the gym her mother owned, Mary Pappas. She was naturally talented in gymnastics, competing at a high level, and her goal was to get a gymnastics scholarship for college. Krickitt overcame adversity and fought to overcome the emotional pain she was going through. She is now a successful motivational speaker and advocate for those who have gone through similar ordeals.

This conversation is about the guest's journey from being a collegiate gymnast to transitioning out of sport and into the corporate world. The guest had gone to Cal State Fullerton on a gymnastics scholarship and had a great career, but blew her knee out her senior year. She transitioned into being involved in a great church in Southern California and shifted her focus from being in the gym all the time to being able to serve others. After graduating, she was connected with a sportswear company called Jammin Sportswear and was successful in sales. While working there, she met her husband, whom she married a year later in September 1993. They moved to a small town in New Mexico, where she worked as an exercise physiologist. On the day before Thanksgiving, they were driving to Phoenix to visit her parents when her husband got sick.

The speaker was in a serious car accident just outside of Gallup, NM where he was t-boned by a one-ton Chevy truck. He was taken to a hospital and flatlined twice on the way, but miraculously recovered due to people praying around the world. When doctors asked her questions to assess her memories, she remembered her mom, dad, and unexpectedly, her husband, Todd, who was an old boyfriend. The speaker made a miraculous recovery and was able to tell her story.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Toby Brooks is a speaker, author, professor and student who interviews guests who have achieved success by taking risks and growing. Every third episode is dedicated to his own reflections, and this week, he is running behind in his plan to deliver a Word of the Third on Wednesdays. He has been using the Done app on his phone to help him keep track of his habits and this past summer, he completed the challenge of doing 75 hard.

The speaker completed the 75 Hard challenge, an intense program that lasts 75 days and has strict requirements. They now use the Done app to keep up the good habits they developed during 75 Hard, but without the guilt or punishment of having to start over if they are not perfect. They also gained a love of reading after reading David Goggins' first book and were motivated to sign up for a 10K race. However, they pushed themselves too far and ended up injured. The speaker has now found the balance between being tough and being wise.

In this conversation, the speaker is discussing the new book by David Goggins, and how it has resonated with him. He then talks about his own life story, which is vastly different from Goggins. His parents got married when they were 18, and his father worked hard in a coal mine to provide a safe and stable life for his family. While his father was working, the speaker felt resentment towards the coal mine, and wished he could have had his father around more. His father was simply doing his best to provide him with the life he never had as a child. He then talks about how his father inspired him to find something he enjoyed and go all in, and how he eventually ended up working nights, weekends, holidays and birthdays, until he came home exhausted one day and saw his daughter walk for the first time. This realization made him understand the importance of being present for his family.

The speaker reflects on how his father missed out on his first day of school due to having to work, and how this has caused the speaker to be overly cautious in providing his own children with everything they need. He reflects on how he gave up on his dream of becoming an NFL athletic trainer and chose to move his family to Florida for a season of Arena Football, which was a great decision. He reflects on the words of Goggins about how effort should be the priority instead of enjoyment and how his parents taught him the value of effort more than anyone else. The speaker concludes by talking about the modern snow day, where due to the pandemic, there is no such thing as a true day off anymore.

Timestamps

0:00:19

Word of the Third: Reflections on Purpose, Life, and Growth with Toby Brooks

0:01:42

Reflection on Completing the 75 Hard Challenge and the Impact of Reading David Goggins' Books

0:03:36

Reflection on David Goggins' "Discipline of Discipline" and Its Impact on My Life

0:07:43

"The Value of Effort: Reflections on Growing Up and Working Hard"

0:09:10

"Opportunity: A Reflection on Growth and Resilience"

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Some corners of the internet can be scary places. Social media in particular can be rough, with self-proclaimed experts on every virtual corner at the ready to tear us down, be critical, and just generally tell us why we don’t stack up.

However, bright spots exist, and hope remains. Take for instance Canadian Jonica Bullock. An interior designer by training and experience, she is in the midst of a major life transition to coaching and personal training, as years of hard work and experienced earned through relentless dedication not only changed her life, it changed the lives of those around her.

While Jonica never intentionally set out to inspire her corner of the world, that’s what happened as she steadily became the face of the FitBod workout app’s Facebook group—not to mention the curator of the page’s “Flex Friday” and an instrument of hope and light who provides genuine, heartfelt encouragement to others who are also on the path of their fitness journey. The work eventually led to her being asked to regularly contribute to a new podcast that helps tell the stories of one of the most encouraging social media communities ever.

It hasn’t been an easy climb for her, though. Overcoming the shame, stigma, and unhealthy habits of an eating disorder that first showed itself during her teens, her condition got better for a season, then reemerged like an angry monster in her early 30s. Jonica will forever be grateful  for the persistence of a concerned physician and the family and friends who supported her. Through lengthy, deliberate, and difficult work to heal and a steady resolve to learn and live through healthy habits, she discovered her voice and found her power…with that power being at an all-time high thanks to a disciplined approach to healthy fueling and serious work in the gym. And with her healing, she also discovered that she has a true gift for helping others navigate similar paths.   

Hear Jonica tell her story of overcoming disordered eating, her road to recovery, and her current efforts to help others find success in Episode 20: INSPIRE.     

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Growing up in Germany, Sabine Ehgoetz learned early on what it meant never to be enough. Raised by a physically and emotionally abusive mother who made her believe she wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough and simply not loveable the way she was, she soon internalized these messages. Despite evidence to the contrary – a master’s degree in political science in her late 20s, modelling jobs, and a successful career as an editor, her self-doubt manifested in eating disorders and often blind, harmful ambition.

Despite her constant drive and commitment to overcome the generational curse passed down through her mother and heal in order to earn the right to become a mother herself, despite years of therapy and personal development, she found herself in a toxic and abusive marriage – repeating the unhealthy patterns and dynamics she had associated with what love should feel like.
 
As hard and frightening as breaking free from this marriage was, by now alone in Canada and single mother of barely 3-year-old twins, it was equally liberating and empowering. Having lost everything, Sabine set out to continue her journey of overcoming and becoming the strongest and best version of herself, driven by the purpose of loving herself the way she always longed to loved, being the mother she always wanted and empowering other women to be at their best so they could do their best.

Competitive bodybuilding spoke to her ambitious nature, forever driven to get better, be better, be “enough”, but by the time she entered the sport, she has already done most of her healing work and was able to do so from a place of self-love, with a healthy body image and a healthy relationship with food. Bodybuilding for her has always been about much more about mental growth than physical growth – it has become her tool to consequently step outside her comfort zone, face any limiting beliefs she has left and to inspire other women to go after their dreams, no matter their obstacles and circumstances.

Today, with a successful career in marketing and in pursuit of earning her pro card as a bikini competitor in the IFBB, she passionately shares the strength and healing she found on her own journey through her own business as a mindset advocate and fitness and empowerment coaches, helping others navigate their own paths towards radical self-acceptance and boundless self-love.

Hear Sabine tell her story of early wounds and eventual healing, persistent doubts and hard-earned confidence in Episode 19: FLEX.    

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This week, we were fortunate enough to have not one but TWO guests who have made their mark in the performing arts. For Dave Holmes, a four-year stint as an MTV VJ has turned into a successful career as an actor, comedian, author, and most recently podcaster. If you haven’t listened to his 10-part Waiting For Impact show on Exactly Right Media, you are missing out. It is informative, entertaining, and actually was a critical part of my motivation to do THIS show.

My second guest, Jonathan Fruge is a world class performer who has taken stages and captivated audiences around the world in productions including choir, musical theatre, and vocal performance. He overcame tremendous adversity—most recently from the pandemic that shut down his show for months and resulted in him being furloughed and forced to make ends meet picking up a job at a supermarket. 

What stood out to me in talking with both of these wonderful guests was that they were careful to not ascribe blame to anyone or anything as they described their less-than-ideal situations. For Dave, he was even so bold as to specifically point out that his obstacles were almost exclusively of his creation. And for Jonathan, while 2020 certainly proved to be the most difficult year of his life, he recognized that it served an important purpose of putting him back on the right track in his relationship with God and redirecting him toward building his faith again.

To me, this unabashed and unapologetic ownership of the bad without completely piling on and destroying themselves with negative self-talk was inspiring. Far too often for me, I have either side-stepped my role and looked for the person of the circumstance I could blame for my poor outcome OR I took the martyr’s role of taking responsibility while also verbally abusing myself in the process.

There is a fine line between expecting our decisions and behaviors to be sound and demanding perfection. If we can’t seem to muster any grace for ourselves, we become victims of our own abuse. The gashes on our backs and the scars in our minds remain long after, and it was us cracking the whip the whole time.

I’m learning that try as I might, I simply cannot be perfect. At best, I can usually approach “pretty good.” Admitting that and giving myself some credit for the effort is an important step, because if I expect perfection, then I will absolutely be disappointed in myself. And when I am disappointed in myself, it isn’t hard to just throw my hands up in disgust and quit.

I expect best effort. I expect commitment. Those are attainable and those are possible. But perfection? Not going to happen.

Likewise, for both Dave and Jonathan, their “undones” went beyond self. Dave went from an unhealthy butt of jokes late in his career at MTV in the early 200s to a competitive triathlete, marathoner, and crossfitter today. Jonathan’s goals for the future involve sending his two beautiful daughters to college and also seeing them come to Chri

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Finding our way in life can oftentimes be a difficult thing to do. Somewhere mixed between our passion, our opportunities, our skillset, and our purpose is what author and speaker Ryan Leak characterizes as our “Sweet Spot.” Oh sure, maybe you inherited a massive business from your family and you’re good at running it so it hits on the opportunity and skillset part of the equation. But if it isn’t something you’re passionate about and it doesn’t align with your purpose, it will always feel somewhat unfulfilling.

The challenge for most of us is that—when considering our futures and our jobs, at least—it can be so difficult to adequately know whether or not something will provide that magical alignment where what we love, what we have a chance to do, what we are good at, and the purpose we feel in our soul is ours to fulfill can all align.

Making things even harder still, some careers are particularly difficult to find your way into, with sports and the performing arts chief among them.

For Lubbock, Texas native Jonathan Fruge, singing and performing wasn’t necessarily the dream early on, but it was always there. Through time and practice, it became clear that he had the passion and the skill to make it his work, but jobs in the performing arts aren’t exactly plentiful in the dusty plains of West Texas. With time and trials and an ever-present love for the power of music, he made a career of it and found success, resulting in opportunities to perform on stages around the globe.

Then Covid 19 hit.

Perhaps no industry was as decimated by the global lockdowns as the live entertainment business, and Jonathan found himself at a crossroads. With a beautiful young family to support and flickering professional dreams an uncertainty, he did what he needed to do for a season and put those dreams on hold. And while the future still remains unwritten for the talented and hilarious Tenor from Texas, one thing is certain: he was born to inspire.

Hear Jonathan tell his story of overcoming fear and adversity while entertaining audiences around the world in Episode 17: SING. 

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.