The Erotic Philosopher (Cyndi Darnell)

Dr. James Wadley is Director for the Council for Relationships Sex Therapy Program. As a scholar-practitioner, he is a licensed professional counselor, AASECT certified sex therapist and supervisor and maintains a private practice in the States of Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

In this episode James digs deep into Blackness, deep relationships, creating connections that last, non monogamy, intimacy & arousal, fucking and so much more.

www.drjameswadley.com 

Social @phdjamesw

What is sexy? How do we discover what turns us on, (even if it doesn’t make sense)? What happens in a loveless, sexless marriage when you have an affair and then discover the wide world of porn? Our guest today Elle Chase (she/her) tracks her foray into the world of online feminist porn, body acceptance, sex education and censorship. What does the body positive movement have to offer all of us regardless of size and how helpful is it anyway? Elle answers listener letter on making peace with her body

Elle Chase, CSE is a certified sexuality educator, writer, speaker and coach as well as the author of Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life.

Chase is a frequent guest, and a regularly quoted source for international media outlets that have included; NBC’s The Today Show, ABC’s Nightline, Savage Lovecast, and The New York Times. Her writing has also been featured in Teen Vogue, The Huffington Post, and Cosmopolitan.

Elle speaks and teaches workshops across the country, specializing in body acceptance, the importance of sexual expression and all things sex. You can find her at: www.ellechase.com or @TheElleChase on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

#bodyimage #bodypositivity #bodyneutrality #rule34 #feministporn #sexeducation #bopo #haes

Book mentioned “Fearing The Black Body” by Sabrina Strings

This week Nadine Thornhill Sexuality Educator,  and all round wise tour-de-force explores what it means to guide young people in helpful ways around, sex, pleasure, gender, power and relationships cultivating healthy minds and healthy bodies. Far from the simple yes /no tropes of consent, Nadine offers insight for parents, carers and families to create meaningful sexual discussions at home, that reduce shame, and increase fun, pleasure and respect. 

IG: @NadineThornhill

YouTube: Nadine Thornhill

Adam is a sacred intimate based in New York City. His work centers around guiding clients into accessing and creating deeper levels of pleasure in their body and lives.

https://adambee.com

https://www.instagram.com/adambeenyc/ https://www.facebook.com/adambeenyc

Gala Vanting is a writer, sex worker and advocate living and working as a migrant settler on Gadigal land. Her work has woven through the brothel, the boardroom, screen, stage, and page, public health and sex education. She aims to create compassionate and justice-driven dialogue about gender and power, sexuality, technology, media and culture, and is an advocate for the human rights of sex workers. www.galavanting.info @msgalavanting

Nenna Joiner started Feelmore out the trunk of their car and owns 2 adult shops in Oakland / Berkeley. Changing the way people see adult stores in their city by being apart of the community not just people's beds!

Paper by Audre Lorde Uses of The Erotic

www.Feelmore510.com

All social: @FeelmoreAdult

If you've ever felt conflicted about your relationship to love, romance and even how you love, you're going to enjoy today's guest  Anne Hodder-Shipp an award-winning certified sex and relationship educator dedicated to providing accurate, expansive, and compassionate care. They are the founder and lead educator at Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, a sex ed and professional development organization, and they work with people and couples of almost any age to help build skills, knowledge, and confidence around identity, pleasure, relationships, and communication. Most recently, Anne wrote the groundbreaking expansive love language ebook, Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love, and its accompanying guide, The Speaking from the Heart Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Modern Love Languages.

In this interview Anne and I look at the role of sex education as a community endeavor, not just something that happens at school or for sex therapists, but something that helps us create communities that are meaningful. Then we shift toward unpacking their work critiquing the popuar 5 Love Languages and Anne offers us some powerful reframes and why we need to be a bit more curious about dissecting love languages as they've been fed to us.

• https://annehoddershipp.com/
• https://everyonedeservessexed.com/
• https://www.themodernlovelanguages.com/
• https://www.s3xplus.com/

In this final episode for season three we finish by completing the circle of sex education with Justin Hancock.

Justin is a sex and relationships educator, trainer and practitioner working with young people and adults in this field since 1999. His website BISHuk.com is one of the leading sex and relationships advice websites for all those over 14. It receives thousands of visits per day and is highly regarded by young people and practitioners alike. Justin has worked in schools, colleges, universities, and youth projects for over 20 years delivering relationships & sex education (RSE) with young people over 14.

In addition to this Justin works with practitioners in sex and relationships education and sexual health services providing training and resources. He is also the co-author of a sex advice book with Meg-John Barker ( episode 14 of this season)  ‘Enjoy Sex - How, When and If You Want To'. He hosts the Culture Sex Relationships podcast. Justin’s latest book is ‘Can We Talk About Consent’, published by Quarto Books, is out now.

www.bishuk.com

www.bishtraining.com

soundcloud.com/culturesexrelationships

Social @bishtraining twitter

Ever wondered why we glorify sex as being a practice for the teens and 20s, when research suggests people have better sex in their 40s, 50s and beyond? Why are there so few role models for ageless sexuality? And what holds us back from exploring pleasure at any age? Wonder no more. We have senior sex expert Joan Price.

Joan Price calls herself an advocate for ageless sexuality. She has been called other things by the media: “senior sexpert,” “the woman leading a sex revolution for seniors,” and—her favorite—“wrinkly sex kitten.” She is the author of four noteworthy books about sex and aging, including the award winning Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and her latest: Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved. Joan’s award-winning blog has been offering senior sex news, views, and sex toy reviews since 2005. At age 76, Joan continues to talk out loud about senior sex—partnered or solo. She is the co-creator of  "Jessica Drake's Guide To Wicked Sex" Find Joan and her books and blog at joanprice.com

Twitter: @joanprice

Facebook: @joanpriceauthor

Today's guest is Kate Loree, is a sex-positive licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in non-monogamous, kink, LGBTQ, and sex worker communities and the author of Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships. She cohosts her own sex-positive podcast, Open Deeply, with Sunny Megatron.

In this episode Kate and I dig into the work of intimate relationships and she offers insight into how we can show up better in our relationships. We look at how to manage triggers during communication, what to do when a situation feels dire and hopeless and how attachment injuries impact non-monogamy.

Enjoy today's interview with Kate Loree on all  podcast platforms and watch the interview on You Tube

Follow @theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter. Follow Cyndi @cyndi_darnell or website www.cyndidarnell.com

 Kate’s website is www.kateLoree.com

Instagram @opendeeplywithkateloree

TikTok: @opendeeplywithkateloree

Facebook  @kateloreelmft

Twitter @kateloreelmft

How do we release generations of internalized sexual shame?

Desire Catalyst inspired relationships to desire. Systemic family constellations. Transgenerational patterns

The power of lineage and repetition in families around sex & relationships.

DNA shifts alterations after trauma. How can plant medicine and herbalism help shift sexual healing and whats the relationship between ancestral wisdom  and plant medicine? Pleasure is the point of life!

Listener letter Patricia afraid of being single. Four generations of lone parents. Gets into relationships then loses interest in sex.

How do our beliefs about sex/ relationships inform our relationships and lives? Who do these beliefs serve? Who benefits from them? And how do we liberate ourselves into new truths?

Elise offers super practical tips on transforming deeply stuck patterns of fear, shame and trauma

Elise Bish is a conscious sexuality educator, folk herbalist, and family constellation facilitator. She believes that sex is sacred, pleasure is healing, and desire is our motivation to grow. Elise has over a decade of experience in the field of sexuality and has supported hundreds of people in cultivating an inspired relationship to their desire through embodiment practices, ancestral healing, and conscious sexual skill-building. In her 1:1 coaching, workshops, and retreats, she holds sacred space where people of all genders can explore their relationship to their desire and sexuality in a shame-free, non-judgmental environment.

www.elisebish.com

Instagram @desirecatalyst

Ever wondered what makes a person kinky? How we define it or what does it mean you’re your partner is  into kink and perhaps you are not? Today’s guest is Dr Richard Sprott. received his Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology from UC Berkeley in 1994. He is currently directing research projects focused on identity development and health/well-being in people who express alternative sexualities and non-traditional relationships, with a special emphasis on kink/BDSM sexuality, and polyamory or consensual non-monogamy. He is the Past President of the Society for the Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity (APA Division 44) for 2022-2023. He is also the co-author of Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities with my former erotic philosopher guest David Ortmann.

Along with Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, also a guest from this season episode one, he is co-editor of a new book series Diverse Sexualities, Genders, and Relationships from Rowman & Littlefield ( incidently also the publishers of my book) . Richard currently teaches courses in the Department of Human Development and Women's Studies at California State University, East Bay and graduate level courses at various universities in the Bay Area, including UC Berkeley and Holy Names University. Enjoy this discussion with Dr Richard Sprott.

Listen on all podcast platforms and watch the interviews on You Tube

Follow @theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter. Follow Cyndi @cyndi_darnell or website www.cyndidarnell.com

Follow Richard Twitter: @DrRichardSprott or IG @rasprott AND  @kinkhealth on IG & Twitter and learn about the international kink study at www.tashra.org 

Stoya has been working with sexuality for over a decade. She is the co-founder of ZeroSpaces.com, where you can follow her current adult work. In this episode, hear how Stoya's beginnings primed her to the the 'PornoDiva' she is today, why she's so passionate about communication & hear Stoya & Cyndi respond to a listener quandary about sex in friendships. In addition to having written for The New York Times, The Guardian, Playboy and others, Stoya is the author of Philosophy, Pussycats & Porn.

zerospaces.com

onlyfans.com/stoya

Twitter & IG @stoya

In this episode we meet Dr. Holly Richmond - a Somatic Psychotherapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and Clinical Board Member for Dame Products. Her newly released book Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life (New Harbinger, Oct. 2021) is an innovative look at both somatic and psychological factors in survivors’ erotic recovery. In this interview we look at what it takes to recover from sexual assault, what SA even is, we bust some myths about who this affects and where  /how it happens and how to begin on the road to recovery. A powerful episode. Listen gently.

Watch the interview in full on You Tube

And don't forget to leave us a rating and review

Find Cyndi's website here 

Website www.drhollyrichmond.com. Social @drhollyrichmond

Today's guest is an absolute delight and I am thrilled to introduce you to Goody Howard. Goody is an award-winning sexologist, educator, and consultant. She provides pleasure development and professional development workshops worldwide. Her authentic and enthusiastic presentation style allows her audiences to connect quickly to the concepts and enjoy learning about sexual health, pleasure, and human variance equity. She makes pleasure-inclusive, comprehensive sex education accessible, intentional, and fun!

While Goody’s pleasure-focused offerings are her most popular classes, she also teaches relevant career development workshops for educators, social workers, and healthcare providers.

In this interview Goody and I talk about her evolution into the work of pleasure focused sex education, how her background has moved her along and within the obstacles she has faced to create pleasure focused inclusive trainings for adults around the world. We learn about how her transformational Rideology workshops are flipping the script on tired old "positions classes and we get real deep on taking a look at who pleasure is REALLY for in the Goody Gang. Enjoy todays discussion with Goody Howard.

Listen on all podcast platforms and watch the interview on You Tube

@askgoody and www.askgoody.com

@theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter

@cyndi_darnell on socials

Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Non Monomgamy. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Learn more at JessicaFern.com

Dominic Davies is the Founder & CEO of Pink Therapy an organisation he set up in the UK 21 years ago. He has worked as a Psychotherapist & Clinical Sexologist for almost 40 years specialising in working with Gender, Sex and Relationship Diverse clients. During this time he's seen a lot of changes to the evolution of human sexuality discussions including identity, , expression  and how we think about these in our lives. He directs an international online training programme training the next generation of sex therapists to think more broadly about sex, pleasure and identity. He is a Fellow of both the National Council of Psychotherapists (NCP) and the National Counselling Society (NCS) the highest recognition these professional bodies offer, however, he is most proud of being awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award for Sexual Freedom in 2018. He loves cooking, eating and wine!

 www.pinktherapy.org 

www.pinktherapy.com

Twitter: @PinkTherapyUK & @DominicDavies1

IG: PinkBoss2018

You may not have heard of the Wheel of Consent, but you really should. So much more than consent as a Yes / No transaction, "The Wheel" as its referred to in sexology circles, offers a frame work through which we can discuss sex , pleasure, power and so much more. This really is the sex education all of us should have received in high school, but I am certain none of us did.

To me, the wheel is one of the most powerful revolutions in sex education in a generation and today's guest is te creator of that revolution. Dr. Betty Martin has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years, first as a Chiropractor and upon retiring from that practice, as a certified Surrogate Partner, Sacred Intimate, and Somatic Sex Educator. Her explorations in somatic-based therapy and practices informed her creation of the framework, The Wheel of Consent®.

https://bettymartin.org 

IG @thewheelofconsent

This week's guest Dr Roger Kuhn is a Poarch Creek Two-Spirit Indigequeer soma-cultural activist, artist, sex therapist, and sexuality educator.  Roger’s work explores the concepts of decolonizing and unsettling sexuality and focuses on the way culture impacts and informs our bodily experiences.  
In addition to his work as a licensed psychotherapist, Roger is a faculty lecturer of American Indian Studies at San Francisco State University.  He is a board member of the American Indian Cultural Center of San Francisco, a community organizer of the Bay Area American Indian Two-Spirit powwow, and a member of the LGBTQ+ Advisory Committee of the San Francisco Human Rights Commission.  
In 2022, Roger was featured in the Levi’s Pride campaign.  He is currently writing his first book, Soma-Cultural Liberation, which will be published by North Atlantic books in 2024.

In this episode we dig into the impact of the body and culture and it's impact ion how we process sensation, emotion and so much more. Roger unpacks some soma cultural narratives in North American life and  offers his knowledge on the impact of soma-cultural liberation in sex, therapy and relationships. Follow him on Instagram 

Watch on You Tube 

Find Cyndi www.cyndidarnell.com  and on Instagram   and Facebook and Twitter

Follow The Erotic Philosopher on Instagram and Twitter 

Join us for the final episode of Season 4 while I take a break for a while and you have time to catch up on all the past episodes you may have missed. While you’re here a HUGE request to please leave us a rating and review on Apple – your reviews make such a difference to our visibility and viability to return with even more episodes. To remain ad free and bullshit free – your support REALLY matters

Now this episode’s guest...someone whose internet presence is as witty and acerbic as it is compassionate and insightful. Known online for his love of cats, Satan and horror films, Dr. Eric Sprankle ushers in the new wave of academia and sexology for a new generation.

Dr. Eric Sprankle is a Professor of Clinical Psychology at Minnesota State University, Mankato where he is also the co-founder and co-director of the Sexuality Studies program. Dr. Sprankle received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Xavier University and completed a postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Minnesota Medical School's Program in Human Sexuality. His current research focuses on the intersections of sexuality, stigma, and Satanism. His first book, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation will be published late 2023.

In this interview we dive into the history of masturbation, (did you even know masturbation had a history??) and we'll talk about some of the ways masturbation is both lauded and misunderstood, and often blamed for the many ills of the world. Out of the closet and into the open, masturbation for many of us is our first erotic experience and certainly our longest term sexual partner, so, let’s talk about it like it matters.

Enjoy todays discussion with Dr Eric Sprankle on all  podcast platforms and watch the interview on You Tube

www.drsprankle.com Follow @DrSprankle

Follow @theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter. Follow Cyndi @cyndi_darnell or website www.cyndidarnell.com

Tania Glyde (they/she) is a psychotherapist in private practice in London, specialising in working with Gender, Sex and Relationship Diverse clients, offering both individual and relationship therapy. In 2014 they founded the London Gender, Sex and Relationship Diversity Practice.

They trained as a somatic sexologist in 2017. ‘Although my private practice is talk-only, the opportunity to learn in a somatic environment has been invaluable when working on sexual issues with clients. It has also contributed to making my practice more trauma-informed.’

Tania has published three books and has written for the Lancet and Lancet Psychiatry.

They have recently published a paper about the LGBTQ+ experience of menopause: How can Therapists and Other Healthcare Practitioners Best Support and Validate their Queer Menopausal Clients? They will be speaking about their research at various conferences and events in 2021.

• Londoncentralcounselling.com
• queermenopause.com
• researchgate.net/profile/Tania_Glyde
• Instagram: @queermenopause
• Twitter: @tania_glyde

Greg Dawson is a Texas based social worker and sex therapist. Greg runs CAYA, a sex therapy based private practice, and Come-passion, an education and sexual expression site for all genders, cultures and races. For Greg, a young black kid who grew up in the south, he is inspired by dealing with shame and seeing how others address the daily challenges of it in their personal lives. This is one of the main reasons, outside of enjoying sex, as to why Greg became a sex therapist. He hopes to battle shame, educate the masses and help people become connected with themselves and sexual selves for a better quality of life.

https://www.cayatoday.com/

 https://come-passion.com/

This episode brings two leading powerhouses of gender, trauma and their intersections with sex and pleasure. In this episode we look at the notion of intersectionality and how pleasure is informed by so much more than whats in our pants. You can find joy and pleasure after trauma and why generic sex advice can often make things worse for us than we intend.

Alex Iantaffi, PhD, MS, SEP, CST, LMFT (they/them) is a family therapist, WPATH certified gender specialist, AASECT certified sex therapist, Somatic ExperiencingⓇ practitioner, clinical supervisor, and author. Alex is Chair of the Trans and Queer interest network of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) and President Elect of the Minnesota Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (MAMFT). Alex is the author of "Gender Trauma: healing cultural, social, and historical gendered trauma" and co-author of the books "How to UnderstandYour Gender: a practical guide for exploring who you are", “How To Understand Your Sexuality”, “Life Isn’t Binary”, and “Hell Yeah Self-Care: a Trauma-Informed Workbook”. They also host the podcast Gender Stories. You can find out more about them at www.alexiantaffi.com or follow them on Twitter and Instagram @xtaffi and @genderstories 

Meg-John Barker is the author of a number of popular books on sex, gender, and relationships, including graphic guides to Queer, Gender, and Sexuality, How To Understand Your Gender, Life Isn’t Binary, Enjoy Sex (How, When, and IF You Want To), Rewriting the Rules, and Hell Yeah Self Care. They have also written a number of books for scholars and counsellors on these topics, drawing on their own years of academic work and therapeutic practice. Website: rewriting-the-rules.com. Twitter: @megjohnbarker, YouTube: MegJohnBarkerPsych

Today's guest is Shadeen Francis - a licensed psychotherapist, graduate professor, and author that specializes in sex therapy and social justice.

In the first of 2 parts with Shadeen, Cyndi jumps right in with a listener quandary for Shadeen about a couple who have lost their erotic traction. One says she doesn't enjoy sex with him anymore and tells the Erotic Philosophers that sex has become a chore! No matter what, they cant seem to get out of this  funk - Shadeen has some great responses and reflections

Shadeen has been featured on platforms like ABC, CBS, NBC, and the New York Times to share her unique expertise on sex and relationships. Known for her signature brand of warmth and humour, all of Shadeen’s work is inspired by her commitment to helping people live lives full of peace and pleasure.

https://www.shadeenfrancis.com/

https://cyndidarnell.com/podcast-the-erotic-philosopher/

Welcome to the first episode of the first season of The Erotic Philosopher, the podcast where we examine and explore erotic quandaries through social, personal, cultural, political and other lenses with the world's wisest erotic philosophers.

In this episode Cyndi is joined by the wonderful Dr UC, Queen of the Pelvis and The Erotic Philosopher's first physical /physio therapist. In this episode we explore the relationship between the pelvis, pleasure, sexuality and so much more. This is a feel-good joy and love packed episode. Pour yourself a Bourbon and settle in for a heart-warming lecture of love, pride and possibility with Dr UC

www.youseelogic.com

Socials @youseelogic

Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life. Her research has addressed gaps in the literature regarding the neural basis of human sexuality and garnered international attention.

Her clinical approach highlights the critical role our evolutionarily wired-in “core” emotions play in physical and mental well-being. Imbalances in these core emotions contribute to anxiety, depression, stress-related disorders, and sexual dysfunction, and anhedonia, or the inability to experience pleasure. This pleasure crisis is evidenced by soaring epidemics of mood disorders, stress-related illnesses, and a widespread sexual recession.

Dr. Nan has appeared on  The Today Show and contributed her expert opinion to many media outlets and she writes regularly for Psychology Today and Glamour.

In this episode Dr Nan & Cyndi Darnell dig into her research on pleasure and the brain and we explore the relationship between how complex feelings can hijack pleasure - and what we can do to create more pleasure in our lives.

You can watch the entire interview on You Tube and leave us a rating and review on Apple podcasts

Head to the Erotic Philosopher website  and follow on  Instagram and Twitter

Follow Cyndi on Instagram, Facebook , TikTok and Twitter

Twitter: @SilvaNeves3

Instagram: @silvanevespsychotherapy 

As the founding producer and director of Pink & White Productions, (CrashPadSeries.com, PinkLabel.tv), SHINE LOUISE HOUSTON has always had unique vision. Graduating from San Francisco Arts Institute with a Bachelors in Fine Art Film, her works have become the new gold standard of adult cinema. During a five year position at the women-owned, sex toy purveyor Good Vibrations, Shine recognized an underserved demand for an alternative to mainstream pornography, and began to create well-crafted queer made porn. Shine’s films have been recognized among the next big wave of women produced porn and have been internationally screened from Amsterdam to New Zealand.

Twitter & IG @PinkLabelTV   and  @ShineLouise

https://ellenheed.com/  https://www.scartissueremediation.com/  https://www.facebook.com/ellenheed.somatic.educator  https://www.instagram.com/ellenheed/

www.luciefielding.com

Trailblazing educator, sexologist, artist, and irritant to banality, Midori founded Rope Dojo and ForteFemme: Women's Dominance Intensive. She penned the first English instruction book on Shibari, "Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage" in 2001, paving the way to the popularity of rope. Dan Savage calls her the "Super Nova of Kink," while others affectionately call her Auntie Midori for her cool, tell-it-like-it-is, funny, reality-based teaching. 

She is also the author of "Wild Side Sex," "Master Han's Daughter," and "Silk Threads.” During this pandemic and beyond, learn, laugh and enjoy her special online classes, events and art at www.patreon.com/PlanetMidori

www.planetmidori.com

IG/FB/Twitter: @planetmidori

In part two - (the final episode of Season 1) of The Erotic Philosopher with Shadeen Francis, we take a look at why people struggle with sex around the world. What affects what we believe about sex and exactly how healthy is 'healthy sex'? What happens when Canadian & Aussie sex therapists get to work in the USA? Are American sex problems unique to Americans and how do  cultural differences affect how people thrive in sexual relationships? In turbulent times, our sex lives can take a hit.

This week we are joined by Aussie sacred sex teacher and men's coach Cam Fraser. Cam and Cyndi explore why so few straight guys are interested in sex education and the effect it has on their relationships & lives. 

Cam is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. His work integrates scientifically validated, medically accurate information about sexual health, with sacred sexuality teachings from the mystery traditions. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame.

www.cam-fraser.com www.instagram.com/thecamfraser www.tiktok.com/@thecamfraser2.0 www.facebook.com/thecamfraser www.twitter.com/thecamfraser

Join me this week  (after a brief hiatus - apologies life got in the way) for a good ol' chin-wag with my buddy, collaborator, wisemind companion and peer therapist Eric G. Schneider.

Eric & I dig into the nature of intimacy. What we experience in contrast with what we believe. The myths that infect and interfere with romantic partnerships in particular, and how we are with ourselves, and each other, impact all our relationships from friends through to lovers and partners.

For the past 33 years, Eric has been/and is an experiential, dynamically oriented psychotherapist privileging here and now somatic emotional experiencing. In addition his work tends to bring to light historic adaptations to challenging early experiences that impair current relational contexts both in terms of emotional closeness, authentic self expression and sexuality. Currently Eric is completing his Ph.D. dissertation in human sexuality examining current worldviews with respect to romantic relationships. He has is also a practitioner of various Daoist arts and sciences for the past 50 years. When not working, he enjoys playing clarinet, ventriloquism and puppetry. He lives in NYC with his partner, a parrot and their little dog Bodhi.

 Website

Instagram 

Facebook

In this episode we dive deep with T.T Baum.

T.T. is a sacred intimate who teaches people to connect with their own erotic wisdom.

We explore what holds people back in sexuality

Erotic Philosopher listener Robin asks T.T about keeping interested in sex when his heart gets involved.

We explore - Do hook ups have to be cheap? Can intimacy exist in a hook up?  Can slutty sex be sacred?

T.T breaks down internalized homophobia and highlights the freedoms afforded to men who have sex with men and how liberating it can be to take erotic risks.

T.T talks about the disconnection that can happen between the heart and the genitals in sex and what effect that can have on connection.

Twitter: @integraleros

Insta: @TTBaum

LinkdIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ttbaum/

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/intimacyacademy

Ignacio G. Hutía Xeiti Rivera (they/elle), M.A., is a cultural sociologist with expertise in sexual trauma, healing, and liberation for marginalized people. They are an internationally known gender non-conforming speaker, trainer, and consultant. Ignacio is the Founder and Co-Executive Director at The HEAL Project, where they work to prevent and end Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA). Ignacio is the co-host of 'Caution: Unrestricted', a survivor-centered talk show inviting everyone to engage with the Culture of Sexual Violence through brutal, and at times sarcastic, truth-telling. They are the co-developer of the Rivera-Azad Sexual Healing Integration Model (RASHIM). Learn more about RASHIM at heal2end.org/rashim

In this episode, we dig into family dynamics, healthy parent and child connections, and preventing sexual violence from childhood by removing shame and encouraging curiosity. You can follow Ignacio's work here as well as on the socials @heal2end.

Watch The Erotic Philosopher interviews on You Tube

In this episode we meet Lola Jean.  A Sex Educator, Fetish Wrestler, ProDomme, and World Record Holder for Volume Squirting (solo). She provides the 'No Frills Sex Education' we both need and deserve. Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex, sexuality, and kink to invite individuals through what they think they are capable of. In this episode Lola Jean talks to us about her signature squirting demos, but then we take an intimate turn into how LolaJean deals with performance pressure, sexual and emotional anxiety and why vulnerability is a normal part of life we all caln learn from. 

Watch the interview in full on You Tube

And don't forget to leave us a rating and review

Find Cyndi's website here 

Website www.drhollyrichmond.com. Social @drhollyrichmond

Lola's Website @lolajeandotcom on social

What is kink these days? And how is it addressed in therapy & sex therapy? What does BDSM offer all of us in terms of dropping the bullshit about the human experience? Where are you coming from and what motivates you erotically? David’s story of self-acceptance, growth and coming of age waking up to pleasure when you’re a sexual outsider. David & Cyndi discuss the squeamishness of discussing sex practices and embodiment in therapeutic training.

DAVID ORTMANN, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist, sex therapist, keynote speaker, and author with private practices in New York City and San Francisco. He is recognized as one of the foremost scholars and activists in the growing freedom of sexual and erotic expression movement. His areas of expertise and passion include erotic power exchange, BDSM, Kink, Fetish, and Leather sexualities, concepts and theories of masculinity, male sexual diversity, and alternative relationship paradigms.

A former model and stage actor, Ortmann spent 1992 in former Czechoslovakia teaching Theater and English while conducting grassroots conflict mediation during that year’s Czecho-Slovak national split. He is a founding partner of both the Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities (carasresearch.org) in 2005 and the Diverse Sexualities Research and Education Institute (dsrei.org) in 2018. David regularly serves as a consultant, educator, and expert witness on the nature and use of power in sex and society and the psychology, scope, process, and ritual of consensual BDSM for civil and criminal cases.

Official website:                      davidortmann.com

Facebook:                               www.facebook.com/davidmortmann

Amazon Author Page:             http://bit.ly/DMOrtmann_author

Twitter:                                    @DavidMOrtmann

LinkedIn:                                 www.linkedin.com/in/dmortmann

Strap in friends. This episode I dive deep with Dr Patrick Grant a Clinical Psychology Resident in Atlanta, GA. His interests include using clinical practice and research to expand the narratives of Black folx; and exploring the ways diversity-related experiences impact mental health outcomes. Grant’s published works primarily center same gender loving (SGL) Black male issues, which include but are not limited to the availability of sexually liberating spaces for Black queer men.

Should anal sex hurt and when it does, are you more of a man? As a Top are you more dominant if your partner experiences pain? And what does that say about how we even talk about sex from the outset? Whose pleasure is this anyway?  We explore some HUGE ideas regarding Black folx, access to healthcare and its impact on pleasure and so much more.

Instagram and Twitter: @iampryan

Learn how working with body can reduce tension and help you have better sex. Many of us feel uncomfortable about sex. After all we liv in a culture that doesn't respect it and doesn't teach us much, but instead tells us it's natural - we get tricked into thinking there's nothing to learn. But If this were true, nobody would struggle with sex. But millions of people do. The vagus nerve and developing good vagal tone ( like muscle tone, but reps of activating the vagus nerve) can help reduce sexual anxiety caused by trauma, stress and shame. Learn a series of simple practices to help you take control of your pleasure, especially useful for people struggling with erection problems, orgasm problems and so much more.

Welcome back to Season 4 of The Erotic Philosopher. In this episode we talk with Dr Eli Sheff, one of the world's foremost relationships researchers. Dr. Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is a researcher, expert witness, coach and educator. With a PhD in Sociology and certification as a Sexuality Educator from AASECT, Dr. Eli specializes in gender and sexual minority families, consensual non-monogamy, and kink/BDSM. Sheff is the foremost academic expert on polyamorous families with children, and her 25+ year Polyamorous Family Study is the only longitudinal study of poly families with children to date. Dr. Eli has served as faculty at seven universities and currently chairs the CNM Legal Issues Team for the American Psychological Association, Division 44 Committee on CNM. Sheff has published four books and over 25 journal articles and chapters and is currently editing a series of books on relationship and sexual diversity. In this episode we explore all things relationships with a particular focus on polyamorous families with kids, legal issues for sex and gender minorities & different forms of bonding Find out more about The Erotic Philosopher  and more about Dr Eli Sheff

JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, researcher and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site The Redhead Bedhead as well as for Glamour, The BBC, Bitch, PsychCentral, and more. You can read her blog at redheadbedhead.com and follow her on Twitter at @JoEllen Notte. JoEllen's book The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren't Having out now Thorntree Press 

Today's guest is Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn a sex and relationship expert, tenured professor, relationship coach at Luvbites.co, and host of Luvbites by Dr. Tara Podcast with a bustling social media presence on TikTok.

From a shy immigrant from Thailand to a confident sexpert, her goal is to normalize talking about sex in a healthy and fun way.

In this episode we learn about Dr Tara's research into sexual communication and we explore what makes sex fulfilling no matter the stage of life yo'ure at or what you're into. Dr Tara asks me about my experiences with sexual midfulness and I share more about my own relationship with low libido, the inspiration behind writing my book.

A couple steps back from the gravitas of our more recent episodes, this light-hearted discussion with Dr Tara offers a little levity
Enjoy today's discussion with Dr Tara Suwinyattichaiporn

Watch the interview in full on You Tube

And don't forget to leave us a rating and review

Find Cyndi's website here 

Dee Dee Goldpaugh, LCSW (they/them/theirs) is a psychotherapist and clinical supervisor in private practice specializing in sex and relationship therapy, trauma, spirituality, and Psychedelic Integration Psychotherapy. They are also a member of the Woodstock Therapy Center Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) Team. Dee Dee has written and presented widely on the topic of psychedelics and sexuality, queer identity, trauma, spiritual practice, and pleasure. Dee Dee is the Community Support and Integration Director of the Hudson Valley Psychedelic Society and has a clinical training background in Sex Therapy, EMDR, Internal Family Systems Therapy, and psychodynamic psychotherapy. They are an artist and musician, and have additional training in shamanic healing and bioregional herbal medicine. Dee Dee’s approach to psychotherapy embraces body and sex positivity and spiritual growth as tools for self-actualization. www.deedeegoldpaugh.com

This week is Cuckweek! Who knew? - not me until I recorded this interview with Dr. David Ley, someone whose work I have followed for many years and indeed the world's foremost expert into the world of cukolding, hot wife-ing and the impact of religonn on human sexuality.

Dr David Ley is a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author, based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He's the author of several books and research articles on sexuality, including his first book, Insatiable Wives, Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them, known as the “Bible of Cuckolding.” With Justin Lehmiller and columnist Dan Savage, Dr. Ley published the first empirical research on cuckolding. Dr. Ley is a frequent guest in media around the world, with appearances in sources such as the New York Times, CNN and Time Magazine, to Hustler and Playboy magazines.

In this interview we trace the origins of David's work in unpacking human sexuality, how he developed his signature brand of open minded inquiry and curiosity, and the errrors in judgement he made early in his clinical career. Then we pivot into his ground breaking exploration of the world of cuckolding or hot wives, and how the cuck world is become a movment of erotic awakening unto itsef.

Enjoy today's interview with Dr David Ley on all  podcast platforms and watch the interview on You Tube

Follow @theeroticphilos on IG & Twitter. Follow Cyndi @cyndi_darnell or website www.cyndidarnell.com

 Follow Dr. Ley: twitter @drdavidley Insta @davidleyphd

Don't forget to leave us a rating and review

Sexual health author, trainer and psychotherapist Douglas Braun-Harvey, MFT, CST, CST-S bridges sexual and mental health and facilitates organizational change. In 2013 Doug Braun-Harvey and Al Killen-Harvey co­founded The Harvey Institute, (www.TheHarveyinstitute.com) an international education, training, consulting and supervision service for improving health care through integration of sexual health. His new book "Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior: Rethinking Sex Addiction" written with co-author Michael Vigorito was selected as the 2018 Health Professional Book by the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR). Previous publications include "Sexual Health in Recovery: Professional Counselor's Manual" (2011) and "Sexual Health in Drug and Alcohol Treatment: Group Facilitator’s Manual" (2009).

https://www.theharveyinstitute.com

Rethinking Porn Addiction YouTube Channel, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI3Ag2DxPotNJgSiTr-WX-Q

Ali Duncan, energy healer & spiritual erotic pleasure guide transformed her life, and now teaches others to do the same. After realizing the shoe no longer fit, Ali was awaked to the power of pleasure and now teaches people to take control of their lives and bodies through Chinese medicine, Tantra and breathwork. As grandmother of 8, she knows what it means to love and be loved and offers advice on authentic parenting (and grandparenting) while enjoying her body and sexuality. In this episode, Ali lays it down.

www.aliduncan.me

There's nothing casual about casual sex. Although our attitudes towards sex have evolved in recent times, we still often assume that partnered, romantic sex is more meaningful than a casual encounter...but hook ups, one-night stands and online flings offer many possibilities for personal growth and connection, if we take them seriously. Georgie Wolf talks about how our devaluation of the humble hook up is a self-fulfilling prophecy, where we still get consent and sex ed wrong and what's possible when we treat every sexual encounter with the reverence it deserves.

https://www.artofthehookup.com/

https://twitter.com/artofthehookup/

https://www.facebook.com/artofthehookup/

Marla Renee Stewart, MA is a professional sexologist, intimacy/relationship/sex coach, speaker, and author. She is the owner of Velvet Lips, a sexuality education company, as well as Contract Liberation, a company focused on research for non-profit groups. As a Lecturer at Clayton State University, she teaches Sociology and Women’s and Gender Studies. As the Co-Founder of the Sex Down South Conference, Marla aims to bring diverse groups together to learn and share their experiences in the essence of being authentic and fostering sexual liberation across communities. Marla has studied human sexuality for over 19 years, has educated over 20,000 people in over 13 years, given over 400 workshops, and have served over 100 clients in her private practice, all around the world. She has had her influence in the media, as well; she has written over 200 articles, featured in over 20 magazines and books, and has been on over 30 podcasts and independent television shows. She was featured on Netflix’s Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, and filmed as a sex expert for Personal Injury Court and Bad Girls Club: Atlanta. In addition, she also sits on the Boards for SPARK Reproductive Justice NOW! and the Diverse Sexualities and Research Education Institute. She co-wrote her first book, The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay (2020) with Dr. Jessica O’Reilly and is currently writing a chapter and co-editing An Intersectional Approach to Sex Therapy, coming in 2021.

https://www.marlareneestewart.com/

https://www.instagram.com/1marlastewart/

https://www.instagram.com/VelvetLipsSxEd/

In this final episode of Season 2, Rebecca Wong shows us what's at the root of our struggles in connection and what we can do when our partners are getting on our nerves, over and over and over again. After years of witnessing clients & having deep conversations about life, love, and legacy work as the host of the Connectfulness® Practice podcast and the (archived) Practice Of Being Seen podcast, Rebecca realized that all the big things we struggle with — fear, imposter syndrome, not-enoughness, you name it — come back to the same thing: disconnection. And, there’s something we can do about it! 

Find Rebecca www.connectfulness.com

Her new podcast www.whydoesmypartner.com

Renelle E Nelson is an engaging and charismatic clinician and speaker that gives out hope and actionable steps to create change. She founded Kaleidoscope Services LLC to create a safe and non-judgmental space for clients who may not can change their circumstances but can change their view. Renelle uses her past experience with sexual disconnection and betrayal to show her scars to give hope on healing.

She has assisted numerous couples and individuals through the sex love and chaos of their relationship to the renewal of love, reconnection, and healing. Renelle combined being a Licensed marriage and family therapist, and Certified sex therapist to brand herself as an Infidelity/intimacy recovery Strategist. She creates a strategic plan to assist committed individuals with reconnecting back to themselves, life and relationships after betrayal.

She is known as the Pleasure Pusher for her mission to have women reclaim Pleasure as their birthright.

https://renelleenelson.com/

The Pleasure Agenda https://theexplorehercollective.com/

Social @noirsxtherapist  @TheOrgasmicWife @affairaftercare

But being a sex educator doesn't mean we don't have our own sex & relationship problems. In this episode we talk about what to do when life is just really hard and love falls apart

Transformations

Lola shares deep, intimate  hard truths about divorce after 17 years of (non-monogamous) marriage. She navigates fear, uncertainty, loneliness, hard grief, the importance of being heard and brand new beginnings. How do we break up when change is inevitable but still so painful? And how do we manage a change from non-monogamous to monogamous?

Self-inquiry for the win and keep your side of the street clean says Lola! Getting on and getting over it.

Lola advises listener "Broken & Lonely" about healing the past, self forgiveness and change.  Does the truth set you free? What's the purpose of the truth? And who benefits from it?

Dirty Lola is a sex edutainer, speaker & self-proclaimed dildo slinger. Known for her live sex ed Q&A show Sex Ed A Go-Go and as co-host of New York Magazine’s The Cut’s “Sex Probz” web series, Lola has spent almost a decade working to end stigma and shame surrounding sex and sexuality. Having started her journey sharing personal discoveries with polyamory and kink online, Lola now uses her knowledge, warm candor and public platforms to teach the masses in-person and to rapt Internet audiences.

Website: http://sexedagogo.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DirtyLola

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dirtylola

In this episode I am rejoined by my dear friend Eric G. Schneider who you met in Season 3, but this time he joins me to discuss his very personal experience of with surviving and living with the effects of prostate cancer and its impact on his relationship and his sex life.

Eric's willingness to share his story here is a cruicial aspect of our collective healing work - insofar that few men discuss or extrapolate the emotional and personal impact this condition has on them, their relationships and their sex lives.  Men and the people who love them will find this episode especially helpful for bringing to light the taboo of discussing intimacy from (cis) mens point of view.  Eric models and demostrates what is possible for men in relationships and sex when they are willing to be real with themselves and their partners, especially with issues so few men are willing to discuss - like the impact of erection function, hopes, fears,  and expectations on historically 'sexual' intimate relationships.

Where else to start except heteronormativity, anal sex, sexual shame, pride and anally receptive straight cis men! Yes, they go right there.

How does privilege protect us from sexual shame and what effect does our identity have on our shame and practices? Alex tells us about their PhD research into anally receptive straight men and how pressure reduces pleasure!

Speaking of pleasure, how do you talk about unsatisfying sex in a relationship? What are the benefits of feeling awkward? How do we get better at talking about pleasure? What happens if we go to feeling bad to feel good in controlled yet kinky consensual contexts? Alex shares and insight they received in a client session on how to navigate shame that really impressed them.

Then Dr Alex & Cyndi address an erotic quandary from a listener about sexual highs, sobriety, fantasy sex, feeling how we want to feel during sex and creating hotter sex through life changes, preparation & communication. How do we manage fear and awkwardness when we want to take an erotic risk...where do we even start?

Are you ready… strap in (or on) Let’s go.

Dr. Dulcinea Pitagora (they/them) —who also goes by Alex has a psychotherapy and sex therapy private practice at the Manhattan Alternative Wellness Collective in support of all sexualities, genders, and lifestyles. They are proudly out as a member of the kink, poly, queer, and TGNC (trans & gender non-conforming) communities, and also as a former sex worker. They created ManhattanAlternative.com, a referral site for sex positive therapists and wellness professionals, and they co-organize the AltSex NYC Conference, a forum for expansive sexuality education. They have recently come out as Cyndi Darnell’s biggest fan. 

You can find Alex at  dulcneapitagora (dot) com