Recovery Elevator (Paul Churchill)
Explore every episode of Recovery Elevator
| Pub. Date | Title | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 25 Sep 2023 | RE 449: How to Make it Through Your First Sober Concert? | 00:55:54 | |
Episode 449 - How to Make it Through Your First Sober Concert?
Today we have Santino. He is 35 from Taunton, MA and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022.
Our latest Ditching the Booze course begins Monday October 2nd at 7:30pm EDT/4:30pm PDT and is free to Café RE members. The 5-week course is called Writing a New Narrative and is designed to help you explore your sobriety story through journaling and writing prompts.
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[03:05] Highlights from Paul:
Today’s question comes from Kelly in our Café RE Up Group. The question is “how do you make it through your first sober concert?”
The first of eight fantastic tips include giving yourself a little alcohol-free time before going to a concert. Once you’ve got some time under your belt, and the cravings are in check, then you can hit the green light on concerts. Regardless of how many days you have, if you are feeling squirrely the dray of the concert then sit it out. Sobriety is the priority.
Paul then shares several tips to include:
- Always have a non-alcoholic beverage in hand. - Do not volunteer to be the DD. - Make sure everyone you are attending with knows your intentions.
Some of the best parts about sober concerts? You will remember it. You will save money. You won’t get a DUI on the drive home.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[10:14]: Paul introduces Santino:
Santino is a repeat guest and has maintained his sobriety since his last appearance on episode 397 where he was on day 43.
Santino is married and has one son. For fun, he loves going outside in nature to go hiking and go to the beach, but he also says that there is fun in everything since quitting drinking.
Santino had his first drink as a young teen. His mom was a single parent for a while, and he feels that he may have started drinking because the absence of his father bothered him. He learned that alcohol became a friend to him, and he feels like he used it for connection with his father and in contrast, to disconnect from her mother.
Santino joined the Air Force out of high school and found alcohol to be part of the culture. Between his early 20s and his early 30s he started deliberately planning his drinking to include before going out and drinking alone. Santino says he used a lot of rationalization that he wasn’t as bad as other people when it came to how he drank. He often pushed off having to think about it.
There wasn’t much hiding it from his spouse initially because they both drank. His hiding became more intentional as time went on, specifically after his son was born and during the pandemic. He found himself being sneakier about it. Santino started struggling with mood swings and being less communicative and didn’t want to address the fact that he needed help to quit drinking. He started to realize that this was going to destroy his family and he needed to rip the band aid off and address it. Once he addressed it with his wife, he felt freedom but was also worried about the process.
In the early days of his recovery, Santino and his wife began counseling to work on rebuilding their relationship. Santino also found that he started to feel healthier in general, was getting better sleep and did not miss the hangovers at all. Santino has been able to save money which assisted him with paying off some credit card debt he incurred while drinking. As a parent, he feels more centered and present with his son. He attends AA frequently, listens to podcasts, and surrounds himself with others in recovery.
Santino’s parting piece of guidance: give yourself grace in all the moments that you feel that you don’t even deserve it.
Instagram - We regularly feature content here – often with goats!
Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.
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| 06 Apr 2020 | RE 268: You’re in the Ring | 01:06:38 | |
Raj took his last drink May 11, 2014. This is his story. On today’s episode Paul zooms out and talks about the journey. If you are listening to this podcast you are an active participant in the center of the ring. Your conscious decision to ditch the booze places you in the center of the ring. Who is the critic when you’re in the ring grappling with alcohol? You are, but you can rewire those thoughts and become your greatest cheerleader. Watch the video of the little girl not giving up here.
[16:05] Paul introduces Raj.
Raj is 54 years old and is from Las Angeles. He is divorced and has a 13-year-old son. Raj is an avid cyclist and says it keeps him sober.
[22:20] Give us a background on your drinking.
Raj says he didn’t really drink until college and even then, it was a very slow progression. In 1991 Raj started having adverse consequences to his drinking, such a getting a DUI and not getting hired for a job. In 2010, and the following 3 years, his drinking totally spiraled out of control.
[25:50] During this progression were you able to step back and see the writing on the wall?
Raj said he definitely did not. He said he lived in denial for over 20 years.
[26:46] Get us up to speed to May 2011.
Raj said he always performed well in his career; his drinking didn’t affect it. But in the summer of 2010 Raj had a serious biking accident and broke his ankle and was prescribed an insane amount of Vicodin. In a period of 4 months he watched his work productivity go to hell, actually getting put on probation at work.
Because work was always something that he could keep together, Raj said he lost it at this point. His drinking and drug use took off. That led to another DUI in May of 2011, which led him to the doors of AA.
[29:25] Fill in the gaps between your first AA meeting and May 2014?
Raj said he started going to AA and got a sponsor, but didn’t really do the steps. In 2012 he convinced himself that he didn’t have a drinking problem, but was still having blackouts and waking up in the hospital not knowing how he got there.
In November of 2012, after a locking himself in his hotel room while at a work retreat, causing a huge scene at the airport, and landing in the hospital again Raj was fired from his job. This led Raj to The Betty Ford treatment facility and Raj says this was his rock bottom moment.
Two more rehabs, another DUI, and Raj finally got sober in May of 2014.
[34:20] What happened next?
Raj said he started taking AA seriously, got a new sponsor that was pretty much an AA hard ass that took Raj through the 12 steps. Raj says he was just ready. He had to become humble, and willing to ask for help.
[38:05] What is an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn’t quit drinking?
One was he had a wine cellar, he had to drink all the wine. How would he deal with stress and anxiety?
[38:55] How do you deal with stress without alcohol?
Raj uses biking and exercise, AA meetings, talking to his sponsor, and spending time with his son.
[49:50] What do you think was one of the hardest things about quitting drinking?
Raj said it was trying to get the message down to his subconscious that he was no longer drinking.
[55:50] Rapid Fire Round
That we can’t do this alone.
My son was in a play at school and I was able to be present and witness it, and was able to tell him what an amazing job.
Club soda.
The Big Book or AA is a terrific resource. Café RE UP, AA meetings when I am on the road especially.
There are a bunch bike challenges that I want to do.
If you’re struggling at staying sober don’t give up.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
If you are driving drunk 300 miles with your 3-year-old child in the car.
Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode: BetterHelp BetterHelp Visit https://www.recoveryelevator.com/betterhelp and join the over 700,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at https://www.recoveryelevator.com/betterhelp
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“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this.”
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| 11 Mar 2024 | RE 473: An Easier Softer Way | 00:43:02 | |
Episode 473 – An Easier Softer Way
Today we have Lee. He is 43 and lives in the United Kingdom. He took his last drink on August 17th, 2020.
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Café RE is Recovery Elevator’s alcohol-free community. We are 1,400 strong and have one goal in mind which is to leave the booze behind. We are connecting over the pain points of alcohol and collectively creating the momentum needed to find wholeness without alcohol. If you would like to join, use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
[03:41] Thoughts from Paul:
There are a million reasons why people drink. One reason is relief. Now thank you alcohol for providing myself relief when I needed it most. Then there came a time, and it wasn't overnight when the source of relief became less effective. Alcohol then provided no relief at all. Then it became a source of discomfort itself.
Now the most excruciating part of a drinking problem is when we reach for alcohol to seek harmony, but it only brings pain. Now the conscious mind knows the outcome, it knows it won't work. But in the unconscious, it is still inscribed like a commandment on a clay tablet that alcohol will deliver the goods.
So, listeners, the seed I want to plant with you today, that even though we live in a world full of messaging and imagery saying that alcohol will enhance your life, in reality, the truth is an alcohol-free life is the easier, softer way.
Sober Link – receive $50 off of a device.
[08:33] Paul introduces Lee:
Lee is from Birmingham, UK where he lives with his wife and two kids. He works for a paint manufacturer and for fun he enjoys exercise.
Lee’s first taste of alcohol was when he was 8 and he thought it was terrible. Around age 14 he attended a party where there was alcohol, and he enjoyed the buzz he got from drinking until the next morning when he felt hungover. It was a few years later before he started drinking regularly. Lee utilized alcohol to combat insecurities and be more social.
People told Lee that after he was married and had kids that he would settle down, but Lee says his drinking got worse. He says he selfishly thought about how he could go home and drink in the house alone while his wife may be staying overnight after the birth of their second child. Even after wrecking his car while drunk, Lee did not see that he had a problem. Instead of going to the hospital, he left for the shop to get more alcohol.
The drinking started putting a strain on his relationship with his wife. The cycle of arguments and Lee leaving the home for a few days only to return asking for forgiveness went on for about six months. After a particularly bad event where Lee couldn’t remember the events of the days he was gone from home, he had an anxiety attack. Lee finally admitted to himself that he had a problem and reached out to AA.
Lee started attending AA meetings via Zoom and was still drinking and just listening. He started to see what everyone had, and they seemed happy. At that point he decided to give quitting a try.
Lee says the first few months were horrific. He couldn’t concentrate and was very irritable. He kept going to meetings and listening to everyone tell him it was going to get better but struggled to see it. The next several months found him sleeping better and feeling 95-96% less anxiety. After 18 months to 2 years, he has been able to forgive himself for things I did when he was drinking. He feels he is no longer to try being sober, instead he is living a sober life.
Lee’s best sober moment: getting his family back and being more present with them.
Lee’s parting piece of guidance: take it one day at a time. If you can’t do that, do a half day, do an hour, you’ll get there eventually.
Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys. | |||
| 30 Aug 2021 | RE 341: Head Into the Storm | 00:55:21 | |
Episode 341 – Head into the storm
On today’s podcast we’ve got Britt, she is 45, from California and she took her last drink on November 13, 2018.
Registration for Costa Rica (January 15-23) opens Wednesday 9/1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/
Highlights from Paul
Solving human problems can be discovered in nature. Lone bison run away from storms in the opposite direction. Humans run away from cravings and tough life challenges. Packs of bison walk through the storm together, shoulder to shoulder. They know the quickest way to weather the storm is through. It’s vital that we work alongside others to weather the storm of addiction. Facing the storm together is fun.
[6:52] Paul shares a great story about his adventures with Britt and how much he admires how she has embraced her AF journey. Paul loves how Britt burned the ships and showed how invigorating life can be sans alcohol.
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[09:54] Britt took her last drink November 13, 2018. She loves the outdoors, hiking and music.
Britt had a slow burn into active addiction. She struggled with depression and agoraphobia in her teens. When she hit 30, she lost 100 pounds. Losing that much weight is a challenge. Drinking helped her deal with those emotions. She quit drinking after the loss of a friend and white knuckled for over a year. She went back to drinking, but it progressed. Reviewing her journals helped her to see she made multiple attempts to quit and moderate. She made a geographic change hoping for a cure. She believed her rock bottom came when she was drinking daily, then she went to work for a liquor store while looking for full time work. Cognitive dissonance was in play for two years, and she never gave up. While listening to podcasts, she tried a 30-day solution and it stuck.
Britt found that drinking gave her a tiny feeling of satisfaction that ultimately turned into shame and loathing. Control has been a theme that she is continuing to explore. Once she was able to stack some days, she leveraged journaling and Café RE retreats. Meeting other people who were also ditching the booze inspired a new level of accountability that worked. Personal integrity helped her to honor her commitment to quit drinking. Britt learned that she leveraged food, exercise, and relationships to soothe herself. Now she explores new parks or trails. Meditation has been instrumental to her sobriety. Addiction has humbled Britt, softened her relationships, and opened her to more meaningful connections.
[42:17] Britt shares a powerful journal entry. Addiction isn’t in a place, and neither is recovery. There is freedom in that.
Odette’s Summary
Odette reminds listeners that her life is messy with ups, downs, good and bad days. Keep showing up and remember you help others by showing up.
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
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| 25 Oct 2021 | RE 349: The Inner Voice | 00:57:10 | |
Episode 349 – The Inner Voice.
Today we have Tara. She is 37, from Canada, and took her last drink on February 20, 2019.
Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café Re members only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditation, and break outs rooms. Go to: www.recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity.
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about his inner voice and how it failed him as he was trying to stack days in early sobriety. Inner narration can tell you in your own voice that it is okay to drink. It’s a subconscious voice. Paul advises that the first step is to be aware of the voice. Then you need to create distance between that voice and the first drink. Inner narration isn’t you, it’s a bundle of thoughts. Over time, you can let the space build between the thought and the drink so you can change your thinking. Gaze at the stars, look up and take a breath.
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[10:37] Odette welcomes Tara
Tara took her last drink February 20, 2019. She lives in Montreal and has learned to enjoy life – everything she does is for fun. She is a voice actress and podcaster.
Tara described her relationship with alcohol as a product of self-loathing and rejecting herself. She took her first drink at 12. She was well adjusted and had her needs met at the time. She didn’t drink again until 15 when she was unhappy, depressed and feeling alienated. Alcohol filled a need to replace herself. A major shift happened when she was 18 and she took her drinking to another level – drinking in the morning and drinking alone. Alcohol became her primary relationship until she got sober. Alcohol was linked with everything she did. She had a lot of self-pity and thought the world was against her. She felt like she belonged at the bottom. Pain felt normal, like home.
Tara went to 12 different inpatient rehabs. She would start to feel better and didn’t know how to deal with feeling better. Learning to care for herself emotionally was a big challenge. Even some basic tasks were a challenge. She escaped through relationships with men or would obsess about her looks to avoid facing herself.
She took pride in not being a good person. She became a villain in her own story. She put her family and friends through a lot. She relapsed frequently and made false promises to herself and other people. She is amazed her family is still supporting her recovery. During her last stay in rehab, she was there for 12 days and had to leave because she had been so many times. Post rehab she went through the motions and went to meetings, got a sponsor, and did the things she was told to do without running the show. Her parents breathalyzed her which helped her become accountable.
Early recovery was a challenge. Tara felt like a fraud and didn’t have confidence in her own ability not to relapse. Her brain was in a constant frenzy, and she had a partner who was struggling with addiction. She felt privileged to be able to do full time recovery for several months. She has learned to have a sense of humor about cravings or crazy thoughts. She focuses now on how she shows up in the world. She has expanded her spiritual practice and is learning to be consistent. Tara has learned to enjoy her own company. Her goal is to show up in her life in a way she can be proud of every day.
Odette’s Summary What does bravery mean to you? You can choose to ride or not ride a roller-coaster. The brave choice is the one that rings true to you; the choice that aligns with your values, inner knowing and truth. Choosing to live an alcohol-free life is a huge act of bravery. Sobriety can be lonely, but bravery means standing up for yourself and advocating yourself, even when peers may pressure you to do otherwise.
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
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| 08 Jul 2024 | RE 490: Expectations are Premeditated Resentments | 00:58:25 | |
Episode 490 - Expectations are Premeditated Resentments
Today we have Stephanie. She is 48 years old and lives in San Diego, CA. She took her last drink on January 11th, 2020.
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[2:21] Thoughts from Kris:
Kris shares that he and his family have always enjoyed camping. Recently, he was looking forward to a week that the family could get together, probably for the only time this summer due to work and social schedules. Things did not go as planned due to obligations, weather and some mishaps along the way.
Kris found his mind making the determination that if their week didn’t look exactly like it was planned, then it was no longer good. This is one of Kris’s work-in-progress areas in his recovery. He shares that it’s somewhat normal to have expectations from the people in our lives and society in general, but what do we do when people, places and things fall short of those expectations?
A few things that Kris does is practice gratitude – he is grateful for the time he does get to spend with family and the great weather they had for most of the week. He also practices taking a self-inventory and shares page 86 from AA’s Big Book to give us an idea of what that looks like.
Let Kris know how you navigate expectations and resentments – kris@recoveryelevator.com
[09:48] Kris introduces Stephanie:
Stephanie lives in San Diego with her husband and twin 16-year-old boys. She works as a legal analyst for a Fortune 10 company and loves sports. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, playing games and traveling.
Stephanie witnessed her father become a heavy drinker after the loss of her mother. She was young at the time and as she grew up vowed that she would not drink like he did. At 15, Stephanie first tried alcohol and ended up the victim of an assault during a blackout. Due to this, and her father’s alcoholism, Stephanie was very careful with her consumption for many years.
After having kids and one of them was diagnosed with autism, she began to use alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with her high stress job and parenting. Others would participate with her having drinks after work, so it felt like a normal, adult thing to do.
When Stephanie’s husband became disabled in a work accident, things got tough for them financially. Her drinking increased while she was working to rebuild their lives. As things began to improve for the family, she realized that she was drinking too much but was sure she would be able to quit when she was ready – since she didn’t look like her father, she didn’t think it was that big of an issue.
When she tried to quit alone in 2019, she was able to get four months and thought she could return to normal drinking. After a while she was drinking to blackout again and knew she needed to get help. She attended rehab for 60 days and also discovered the RE podcast. Hearing others share their stories really helped her. Community has become so important to Stephanie, and she has made a lot of friends along the way that she calls her Spiritual Gangsters.
Stephanie’s plan in sobriety moving forward: continue being present with others, exploring her life’s purpose and living life authentically.
Stephanie’s parting piece of guidance: despite what you have been told, life without alcohol is so much more fun, fulfilling and connected than your life while drinking ever was.
We might as well go big RE, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.
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| 20 Jul 2015 | 022: Some not so sobering information about drunk driving | 00:40:17 | |
Brigder decides to call it quits with alcohol after he wakes up in his car passed out covered in his own urine. | |||
| 11 Dec 2023 | RE 460: Text If You Need TP | 01:03:33 | |
Episode 460 – The Friends We Keep
Today we have Kerry. She’s 40 years old from Williston, ND and took her last drink on January 7th, 2016.
Shoutout to our Café RE chat hosts! Thank you for your dedication to the community, and for providing a space for us to share our experiences. You’re the best!
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[01:29] Highlights from Kris:
It’s important that we surround ourselves with people who are going to enrich our lives. People who will meet us where we are, but also challenge us and encourage us to grow.
Kris shares some examples of great friends he has in his life and shares an article that outlines Five Types of Friends – friends we need and need to be.
Take a look at the people you have in your life. Do you think you have someone that fits in each of these categories? When was the last time you let them know what they mean to you? Use this as a reminder to tell someone you love them, and that you’re grateful for them.
If you find yourself today, feeling like YOU’RE alone, I promise you that you’re not. You’re people are out there.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[10:15] Kris introduces Kerry:
Kerry and her partner live in Williston, ND and are raising four kids. She recently decided she was going to become a firefighter which stemmed from being an EMT and a nurse. She enjoys spending time with the kids and they are currently rebuilding a boat.
Kerry was exposed to alcohol throughout her childhood but didn’t really have any great interest in it. She feels that she was a people pleaser and didn’t want to get in trouble until senior year when she decided she could let loose and have some fun before going to college. She found alcohol gave her relief from the stressors in her life.
Going into college she and her friends were party seekers. She had excelled so much academically that she felt she could relax and have fun and not worry about responsibilities. Her idea of an addict was her dad who wasn’t obvious about it. She didn’t have the consequences he did so she didn’t feel she had any problems. When she was 19 her parents put her into rehab because of drug use. While she was there the counselors recognized that her bigger issue was drinking. Kerry didn’t listen and continued to drink after leaving treatment.
Kerry’s parents got a divorce and she had moved back home. She used any excuse to drink to not deal with things. She was having consequences like DUIs and broken relationships. At the time Kerry was working with her mom at a family business where happy hours and daily drinking after work were part of the daily landscape.
Looking for a change, Kerry a boyfriend moved to Alaska and started a family. The drinking slowed down, but after that relationship ended and they shared custody of the kids, Kerry found herself going back to drinking.
After moving back to North Dakota, she continued to use drinking to self-medicate. People didn’t realize it because she was so good at taking care of other people and being a problem solver. Over time the drinking was getting heavier and heavier, and Kerry tried to create parameters to control it.
She tried quitting for a while but when she tested the waters again, she had consequences including another DUI where she realized she needed to get help to quit completely. She joined Lion Rock Recovery, which was all online, so she didn’t need to leave her family for treatment. It helped her focus on the reason she drank and deal with her mental health and gave her tools to use after the program ended.
Kerry’s plan in recovery moving forward: keep learning, keep doing crazy things like firefighting and getting more involved with recovery service.
Kerry’s parting piece of guidance: there isn’t a roadmap, and if one thing doesn’t work, you can try another.
Recovery Elevator We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
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| 19 Nov 2018 | RE 196: How Normal Drinkers View Addiction | 00:52:53 | |
Dan, who doesn’t practice abstinence based recovery, shares his story… Link to the Fox News article mentioned in the episode
SHOW NOTES
[11:08] Paul Introduces Dan.
[12:48] Give us a little background about your drinking.
[18:33] At what point did you realize that you were using alcohol to self-soothe?
[23:53] Tell us more about the thinking problem.
[26:17] At what point were you able to detach from the negative thoughts?
[30:17] Did you experience a rock bottom moment to push into sobriety?
[32:32] Tell us about the lack of abstinence in your practice. How does one successfully embrace the grey area?
[36:41] When you drank recently, how did you feel when you woke up the next day?
[38:47] Tell us more about DBT. [48:55] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Video Facebook (where we shoot live)
Audio
Additional links mentioned from Dan Recovery X Facebook Group where they post behind the scenes footage and people interested in recovery can connect with others.
Learn DBT Group on Facebook is a free community Dan runs, where people in recovery from a variety of mental health disorders can come to learn about DBT, get support and find free resources.
Personal Social Media for interviewee Dan website, Instagram, or Facebook. This episode is brought to you in support by Robinhood. Right now, Robinhood is giving my listeners free stock such as Apple, Ford or Sprint to help build your portfolio. Signup at elevator.robinhood.com Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!” | |||
| 03 Oct 2016 | RE 85: Do You Have a Drinking Problem Part II | 00:43:25 | |
John has been sober for 5 years... This is his story...Resources mentioned in this episode:
Recovery Elevator Episode #1: Do You Have a Drinking Problem Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES“In Episode 1 of RE, we (the human Paul & the dog Ben) do a test to determine if I am an alcoholic. The results… Blatantly clear. Yes, I am an alcoholic.” Paul found it extremely difficult to stop drinking after having just one drink. For about a decade, he lived in the pickle of “one drink was too much and 1,000 drinks was just not enough.” How the hell do you navigate that? Well, the answer is definitely, “Don’t drink.” Now, at Episode 85, Paul has an even better test to determine if you’ve got a drinking problem. Preliminary steps before taking this self-assessment:
Paul’s Self-Assessment Test:(***This is going to be the new metric moving forward, I guarantee it! No need to go spend a ton of money on any other tests...This assessment is free and accurate.***)
***FEEL FREE TO PRESS PAUSE, GRAB A GLASS OF WATER, SHARPEN YOUR PENCIL, ETC., AS THIS IS THE HALF WAY POINT OF THE SELF ASSESSMENT TEST***
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have just finished the Recovery Elevator self-assessment! Answer Key: Listen to Paul on RE 85 @ [ 5:11 ] "Quitting drinking isn’t easy, but my life is exponentially better since I’ve quit drinking." In the previous 84 podcasts, there's a pretty good roadmap already laid out for you… Not only will your life improve (yes, there will be speed bumps), but the lives of those around you will improve too! In all honesty, these self-assessment tests are this simple. It’s not easy, but it’s better.
[ 10:25 ] Paul Introduces John. John was born and raised and lives in Wichita, Kansas. He has a 3-year old son. He enjoys working on his car, experimenting with cooking, and comic books… He is engaged to be married to a woman who is also in the program (AA). John’s last drink was August 28th, 2011… John kept trying to do it (quit drinking) on his own, but time and time again, it just didn’t happen! After telling himself, “I’m just going to have two beers..." 3 or 4 beers, a few mixed drinks, sake for the whole table (they were going to a bar after dinner) and a $400 bar tab later… "I woke up on the floor in my undies, covered in puke (puke in the hallway, puke in the bathroom)... I just felt that someone was telling me to get help.” John realized he just couldn't do this alone. [ 20:29 ] When did you decide to first quit drinking? “I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I kept trying to do it myself, but I’d always find a “special” occasion to drink.” This is one of those things (choosing sobriety) where you actually have to do the work! [ 22:19 ] “I think I got this.” John explains what this means for him... To John, this phrase means that he’s letting his ego tell him how to run things. “I tried on my own without a program, guidance or a schedule and it just wouldn’t stick. Ever.” When John got his 2nd DUI, he knew something was up… John knew that if he drank again, he would get behind the wheel. [ 24:15 ] Talk to us about Alcoholics Anonymous. John was completely blown away by the spectrum of diverse people that made up his first AA meeting, which was quite contrary to what he “knew” AA was going to be! [ 31:08 ] John discusses weight loss, cooking and what he does with all his booze-FREE time! [ 32:59 ] What’s your favorite dance move? Thanks Paul for getting in some humor! In his sobriety, John has really enjoyed running, but he does not prefer the “Running Man,” and claims that the “Robot” is more his style... [ 35:48 ] Rapid Fire Round
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!”Drop us a line: info@recoveryelevator.com Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here! | |||
| 19 Jun 2017 | RE 122: Lessons Learned From a Weekend With Drunk People | 00:44:35 | |
Becky, with 10 months since her last drink, shares her story………… What I learned after spending the weekend with 12 other people at a lake house:
SHOW NOTES
[11:30] Paul Introduces Becky.
Becky – I have been sober for 10 months and live in Indiana. I work in the HR industry, am married and have 2 children. I like to garden and cook.
[13:00] Tell me about hearing your friend Lisa on the RE podcast.
Becky – I was starting to listen to a variety of podcasts on sobriety and heard Lisa’s story. I reached out to her via face book and she talked me through the process of AA. I was able to ask her questions. Something was guiding me.
[18:00] When did you realize you had a problem?
Becky – I was a binge drinker in high school but my drinking tapered off during my first marriage. I soon fell into having a glass of wine every night as a reward. I suffered from a major episode of depression and my therapist suggested I stop drinking. After the depression lifted, I continued drinking 1-2 bottles a night. I tried moderating but could not stop. I felt miserable inside.
[20:30] Tell me about your “yets”.
Becky – I would stumble around parking lots and pass out on the sidewalk. Anything could have happened. I would usually drink after a long day at work. I knew my mother was an alcoholic but I had so much shame that I could not stop. I suffered from black outs and self- loathing.
[24:21] How did you get sober?
Becky – I spoke with Lisa and told my husband. During the first week, I went to meetings. The first 30 days were tough both physically and mentally. Shortly after 30 days, I started to feel better.
[27:16] How was your patience during the first 30 days?
Becky – I was anxious and very short on patience during the first 30 days. The more I fought the craving, the worse it got. I allowed the craving to wash over me instead of fighting it. I was able to take a step back and just look at it.
[29:00] Paul and Becky talk about her hesitation with AA because of God
Becky – I was probably an agnostic before AA. I did not know how I was going to bring God into my life. But there were too many coincidences. There had to be a type of HP intervening. I just know that I could not do this by myself. Some people choose G.O.D. (group of drunks)
[31:49] How important is it for you to be surrounded by others in recovery?
Becky – I could not have gotten sober without my local meetings. I stay active in on-line support groups. It is critical for me to be able to connect with others.
[33:41] Describe a day in your life
Becky – I meditate every day and journal. I try and stay balanced between exercise and work. I have also created my own blog for personal accountability (www.my2point0project.com).
[36:26] What have you learned the most about yourself?
Becky – I am more of a type “A” personality than I thought. I want things done a certain way and have to learn to let that go.
[37:47] What is on your bucket list in sobriety?
Becky – I want to continue to wake up feeling good and strong. I want to help others find jobs and help schedule interviews for them.
[38:45] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com Book – Being Sober, author Harry Haroutunian
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 08 Jun 2015 | 016: Do I have to go to rehab to get sober? | 00:38:56 | |
Lee Pepper from Foundations Recovery Network explains how rehab works. | |||
| 13 Aug 2018 | RE 182: Creating Gaps in our Thinking | 00:43:40 | |
Chris, with 96 days since his last drink, shares his story...
SHOW NOTES
[12:48] Paul Introduces Chris.
[14:33] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? Why did you decide to quit?
[18:56] When did your attempts to quit begin to get some traction?
[21:23] What are your thoughts on the “geographical cure”?
[22:47] What would you consider to be your rock bottom moment?
[24:30] What changed this last time to ensure your success so far?
[31:39] Have you noticed any other improvements in other areas of your life?
[33:19] Did you try any other resources to quit?
[36:00] What's your proudest moment in recovery? [39:20] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: You Are the Placebo – A book by Dr. Joe Dispenza Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 05 Dec 2016 | RE 94: Alcohol Abuse Isn't a Character Issue? You Don't Say... | 00:48:14 | |
John with 17 years of sobriety and Adrianne with 11 years, share how they did it. This is their story... SHOW NOTES According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is a brain disorder, not a behavioral problem. This is nothing new so why are we still talking about it? Probably because even though society is starting to finally believe that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, the stigma attached to addicts remains the same. Wake up people! The studies have shown that addiction can be defined as a primary disease, not an emotional or psychological problem. Our brains become rewired and our choice to pick up flies right out the window when we are in active addiction. Our real choice happens when we reach out for help. It is never too early to reach out. [ 8:27 ] Paul Introduces John and Adrianne, authors of The Painting and the Piano. John, sober since 1/5/99 and Adrienne, sober since 7/11/05 currently live in Florida. For the past 3 years they have been working on their story of survival and love. Their book, The Painting and the Piano is like a divine intervention of how they first met and their lives together through the recovery process. John feels that they were chosen to get sober and to pass this on to others. [ 17:00 ] What was your bottom? Adrianne – my daughter had to go to the ER after an accident at school. I stopped home before going to the hospital in order to get my pills. I didn’t know how long I would be at the hospital with her and was afraid I would be sick without my pills. My need for the drugs was more powerful than getting my injured child to the ER. John – driving out of my driveway and seeing my 2 small children looking through the window at me. I knew I was leaving to get another drink and going to have a possible affair. I left anyway and that memory still haunts me of their faces. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing an 80 year old man looking back was another bottom. I had 3 DWI’s, was losing my business, my friends and was drinking around the clock without bothering to eat. [ 20:11 ] Do you feel that you can skip any steps in the recovery process? Adrianne – No, all of the steps you go through were meant to happen and lead you towards your bottom. This needs to happen. John – Everyone’s bottom is different and how we get there is also different. [ 23:00 ] John talks about patience Take time in your relationships. Advised to wait for 1 year before dating. Patience is super important. Let patience be your virtue. 12 steps should be looked at as an opportunity for personal growth [ 26:53 ] What is on your bucket list for sobriety? John and Adrianne – this book, educating others on the steps and the AA culture, doing more podcasts, and helping as many people recover as possible. Adrianne – I would also love to work in the judicial system. There are so many children that are pulled from dysfunctional homes, only to be placed back in them too soon. John – I believe that 95% of our issues go back to some type of childhood trauma. So what happened to privileged Paul C who grew up in Vali Colorado? Hmmm, might have to think that one over a bit. [ 30:00 ] Adrianne shares about her physical pain I was born addicted to heroin. Later on after years of back pain, I became addicted to pills. All of the surgeries lead to harder addictions. It was a perfect storm of the emotional “F it’s” [ 34:14 ] What advice would you give your younger selves? Adrianne – stay off the pity pot! John – there is no shame in asking for help. Do it now. Change 1 thing every day. [ 38:25 ] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE
Promo Code: Elevator recoveryelevator.com/survey Sobriety Tracker Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com “We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!” | |||
| 23 Sep 2024 | RE 501: The Camaraderie of Sobriety | 00:45:18 | |
Episode 501 – The Camaraderie of Sobriety
Today we have Kendra. She is 36 years old from Alexandria, MN and took her last drink on March 22nd, 2024.
Sponsors mentioned in this episode:
Better Help - code ELEVATOR
There are 4 million podcasts on iTunes with tens of millions of episodes. Do you want to know what the #1 downloaded episode was, for two years straight? Is was an episode titled - What Alcohol Does to your Body, Brain and Health, by the Stanford Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman.
All new registrations for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well.
The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. These lyrics mean that yes, we can fix, we can make changes, but while listening to this podcast, reinforce the fact that you are not broken. We are all perfectly imperfect, but in this moment, we are all here and we are all whole.
[06:15] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares a story about a recent situation involving his goat Hot Dog and some wiring on his truck. After attempting and failing to fix the issue himself, Paul took his truck to the shop where he purchased the truck topper.
After several hours of troubleshooting and referencing the vehicle’s owner manual, they found a fuse had blown. This was five weeks after the incident. What Paul didn’t know was that his taillights had been out as well. The man said that Paul was lucky the cops didn’t pull him over for a DUI. Paul quickly shared that he had quit drinking to which the man replied that he had as well. The conversation continued for a bit about their mutual sobriety.
One thing Paul has recognized in recovery is that the many teams, committees and organizations he has being involved with are no match for the camaraderie of sobriety. He encourages us to leverage the fact that you don’t drink to make deeper connections.
[08:44] Paul introduces Kendra:
Kendra is 36 and has lived her life in Minnesota all her life. She is an RN that works with kidney doctors. For fun Kendra enjoys outdoor activities, spending time with her daughter and has been getting into meditation lately.
About six years ago, Kendra started recognizing that drinking wasn’t fostering anything positive in her life. She was going through some major life changes and found herself reevaluating things. Kendra says she didn’t have an off switch and found herself drinking too much and being hungover most of the next day. She began to try to quit drinking but found it difficult and she would give into peer pressure a lot.
Over the last three years, Kendra attempted many moderation techniques. She was using a sobriety tracker to see her progress. She started bringing NA options to events, and even if she would still drink, she acknowledges that it was less. While there were no stereotypical rock-bottom events, Kendra recognizes that everyone’s rock bottom looks different.
Also, over the last several years Kendra started listening to podcasts about recovery and found the book This Naked Mind by Annie Grace which she feels helped her. She says everything was lining up to push her towards what life could look like without alcohol.
Kendra said she only had eight drinks from January to March this year. Her quit date is a few days after her father’s 39th sobriety anniversary. Kendra says that listening to other’s stories has been helpful. She finds that being prepared and planning before going to social functions is important.
Kendra’s best sober moment: where she can be present with her daughter and remember everything.
Kendra’s parting piece of guidance: keep it simple and just try to keep logging those days. One decision at a time and focus on your overall health.
Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.
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| 22 Jul 2019 | RE 231: Control | 01:01:37 | |
Odette, took her last drink on December 17, 2018. This is her story. On today’s episode Paul talks about control and how it relates to the level of an addiction. The more our drinking gets out of control the more we try and control our external environments. This is the main driver why control is such an important concept to deepen with so we can become aware of the level of control we placing on the external environment. We are left with 2 choices. Option 1 is to do nothing, and that is not what this podcast is about. That leaves us with option 2. Get ready to saddle up. Once an addiction is been acknowledged it can no longer be ignored, and it cannot be addressed without making major life changes. Changes like a new self-image, your perception, a new consciousness, your ideas and beliefs, your entire life’s foundations. That’s a lot of change, and as humans we resist change. SHOW NOTES [8:10] Paul introduces Odette. Paul first chatted with Odette on episode 128, which came out on July 31st 2017, when she had 1 week of sobriety, he encourages you to go back and listen to that episode. Today, Odette hit a big milestone…she has 6 months of sobriety. Odette is originally from Guadalajara, Mexico, but has been living in San Diego for almost 10 years. She is married and a mom to 2 toddlers, Max and Sienna. She works fulltime at WeWork. Odette loves bowling for fun, says it's probably her favorite thing, and she will fight anyone who says that it's not a sport. She also loves to try new teas and lately you will find her doing puzzles. [11:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Odette says she’s been in the recovery world for a decade. Her dad is a recovering alcoholic and he's about to hit his 10 year, so she was first exposed to recovery through him. She likes to say that his addiction has become the biggest gift, not just to herself, but to her entire family. Odette also developed an eating disorder, which she says is her first addiction, if it has to be labeled. Odette says that although she’s been in the recovery world for a while, in terms of drinking, she thinks she falls into the ‘gray area drinker’ category. She doesn’t have a catastrophic story to tell in terms of her relationship with alcohol. Because of this it’s been a real journey for Odette to figure out if she really belonged here or if she didn’t belong here, if she really had a problem with drinking. What really changed things for Odette was something that she keeps telling people. You don't have to have a serious drinking problem to have a problem with drinking, and she definitely knew that she had a problem with drinking. [16:05] In regards to alcohol and your eating disorder, what is your thoughts on addiction whack-a-mole? Odette thinks addiction whack-a-mole is a thing and that it is really important that we become ambassadors of being graceful to ourselves. The addictions become more manageable now, not because it's easier, but because there's this sense of awareness. Odette says she still sometimes eats when she’s not hungry, and that things that are part of her eating disorder chapter still come up, but she is aware of it now. She realizes that she just didn’t want to feel the feelings, so she ate. [21:43] Talk to us about the time between when you were first on the podcast until now? Odette struggled a lot, because, she says she is a binary person, and is like a lot of others in recovery who are in that gray area. And not just with drinking but the gray area of life. She loves fitting in boxes and labeling herself, and that is something that she really been trying to detach from these last 6 months. She stopped questioning where she belonged and if she belonged and started asking herself different questions, like how she was feeling when she drank or if she was trying to cope with something. She had to get a little creative with her questions because she was getting the same results when asking the same old questions. [26:55] Talk to us about the unknown and how you leaned into it. The unknown is very scary for Odette. She knew, as she was stacking days this third time around, that fear was going to creep up on her. So she grounded herself with people who have really good messages around fear because she didn’t expect that fear to go away. She learned to develop a different relationship with her fear. [34:33] Let’s talk about the concept of internal vs. external, where do you feel you are? Odette feels like it’s shifting, and that she is discovering a lot of things. She also believes a lot of it is linked to her eating disorder because she did not have a connection with her body was feeling at all. Odette has been focusing on the internal and the physical. [36:40] Share with us how fun it is to meet up at our retreats, like our one coming up in Bozeman next month. Odette says she stopped calling them retreats and has started calling them “sober camp”, because they are just that much fun. Bozeman will be Odette’s 3rd retreat and says that they are such amazing fuel and that the connections and friendships she has made are now like family. [37:50] Talk to us about a time, in the last 6 months, that it got tough and you overcame it without alcohol? The last 3-4 months have been extremely challenging for Odette. As all the layers are coming off Odette says it feels very raw and at times very heartbreaking. She has done a lot of reconciling the last 5 months with decisions from the past. She says she is not living in the past, but reconciling with what has brought her to where she is right now. [42:30] Talk to us about the emotion, Joy, and when it first showed up for you. Odette used to have so many highs and so many lows it was though she was on a roller coaster. Nowadays she aims for contentment. She lets things pass her by and finds joy in the smallest things. She finds herself getting teary eyed just looking at her daughter or while listening to a song while driving. For Odette joy is found in the simple things and the quietness. [47:05] What themes are you exploring right now in your recovery? Intention is a big one, and not being tied to an outcome. Odette feels like she was tied to external outcomes in the beginning and she is distancing herself from that now. Also, she says she is learning to let go of control. [51:00] Walk us through a day in your recovery. Odette is an early riser and wakes up between 4:30-5:00 AM. Exercise is one of her biggest tools in her tool belt so she tries to get in some sort of it first thing in the morning. She does daily reading each morning and spends some quality time with her family. She goes to work, listens to a podcast or Marco Polo’s with someone, and spends her lunch outside because nature is another big tool in her tool belt. After work she is busy being mom, making dinner and lunches. She has a BBT rule…bed by ten. Her weekends are slower and way less structured. [55:44] Rapid Fire Round
You can’t do this alone…but you have to be your own cheerleader.
Trust your gut.
You burn all the ships and you still drink.
Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about these events here Resources mentioned in this episode: This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.” | |||
| 17 Feb 2025 | RE 522: Would a Drink Help | 00:49:51 | |
Today we have Jeremy. He is 43 years old and lives in Portland, Maine. He took his last drink on January 23rd, 2019.
Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration has been open for two weeks and we have about five or six spots left.
[01:40] Thoughts from Paul:
About three weeks ago, we had a gentleman named Nate share his story for one of our dry January sessions. He mentioned that just before he quit drinking, his spouse poured out a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey onto their lawn. The whiskey killed a circular patch of grass, making it an area where conditions were no longer suitable for growth, and Nate eventually had to replace the entire section of grass.
Today's episode is titled "Would a Drink Help?". This phrase is often depicted in movies, TV, and other media after a long day or stressful event. For those of us who find it difficult to have just one, a drink will never help. It’s not the fifth or the 10th drink that gets you into trouble, it’s always the first. Because it leads you to have the fifth or 10th drink which will leave a dead ring of grass inside us.
Unlike grass, our brains and bodies can heal from the poison. So, in answer to the question of “would a drink help?” the answer is always no, and it will always leave you in a worse position. We wouldn’t ask this question about any other substance either.
It takes time before the neurons in the brain that a drink can help stop firing together so go easy on yourself.
[07:11] Paul introduces Jeremy:
Jeremy is 43, married with no kids and works in tech consulting. They have an English bulldog and for fun, Jeremy enjoys snowboarding, hiking, and music. He is also a house music DJ and plays multiple instruments.
Jeremy first began to recognize that his drinking was an issue for him in his twenties. He began drinking in his teens and used alcohol to help him escape feelings around an assault that happened when he was 15. Since Jeremy didn’t participate in team sports in school, he spent time with people that did other things like drink and do drugs.
After taking a six-month break from drinking when he was 22, Jeremy thought he was fine since he was able to quit for a period of time. He moved to Boston, made some friends there and began grad school. He shares that his drinking didn’t look out of control but as he approached his 30s, he realized that his friends were starting to slow down, have families and he was still wanting to spend time in bars. Over time his drinking was creating issues with his wife, and he was starting to feel unhappy both when he was drinking and when he was not. Things looked ok on the outside, but inside they were breaking down. The blackouts were becoming a major issue for him, and he couldn’t see a way out.
In 2018, Jeremy and his wife had a fight and that’s when he broke down and told her he was struggling. He started reading books about quitting but was still struggling after a few weeks. A note from his wife was a catalyst to seek help from therapy and he discovered SMART Recovery. He kept going back and made connections with others in the meetings.
Jeremy shares how there are so many ways to get sober now and that you don’t have to hit rock bottom to quit drinking. He says you have to get over the fear and just focus on the day in front of you. Since quitting drinking Jeremy says he has learned that he doesn’t need alcohol to feel comfortable anymore. He is comfortable with who he is now and with therapy has helped learn to love himself and forgive himself for the past.
Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.
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| 03 Apr 2023 | RE 424: Caring for You | 00:56:29 | |
Episode 424 – Caring for You
Today we have Abby. She is 49, from Phoenix, AZ, and took her last drink on 9/25/2020.
Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style event at the Marriott in Alpharetta. Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend the event on Sunday. Registration is open please click the link for more information.
We have registration for the annual Bozeman Retreat opening on April 3rd. The retreat is scheduled for August 9th – 13th.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[03:23] Thoughts from Kris:
In an effort to escape the long North Dakota winter, Kris and his wife took a short vacation to Dallas. They had a fantastic time enjoying the city and the company of friends. The key takeaways Kris had are the importance of self-care and connection. He believes that most people are very resilient, and we tend to allow things to keep stacking things onto our plate to the point of overwhelm. That’s when we need to take time to slow down and take care of ourselves; how that looks is different for everyone.
[9:30] Kris introduces Abby:
Abby took her last drink on September 25, 2020. She’s 49 and lives in Arizona. She’s single and has a young adult daughter who lives nearby. She is self employed doing online marketing for small businesses. She likes to cook, read and stay active.
She got drunk for the first time at a New Year’s Eve party when she was a young teen. She drank and smoked weed a lot through high school and college and feels fortunate that she never suffered any consequences throughout that time. At the time Abby thought drinking was just what people do in their teens and early twenties. In hindsight she knows it was numbing behavior. She never felt like she fit in, and alcohol helped her with her socializing.
After getting married to someone whose family had drug issues, she quit smoking but kept drinking. Her and her husband drank a lot together and chose wine because they thought it was more sophisticated. She didn’t drink during her pregnancy but started back soon after her daughter was born.
Shortly after having their child, she and her husband got divorced. Abby says her drinking ramped up and she started smoking again. She found herself drinking to deal with her emotions and continuing to get into unhealthy relationships. Abby feels like she drank a lot because of her insecurities and not feeling good enough or worthy of love.
Abby initially quit drinking as part of a quest to get healthy after some concerning medical test results, not with the intention of getting sober. Her doctor had told her she needed to give up some foods, sugar and alcohol in order to heal. She quickly started feeling better so that helped her remain sober for nearly three months. Abby utilized her daughter as accountability which she feels helped a lot.
During a trip to Mexico on her birthday, she decided she was going to drink. She realized quickly that the way she drank was unhealthy. She had one last beer while out and it left her feeling awful for an entire weekend. She decided then that she was done.
When quitting she started on her own and didn’t feel like she needed any support. She started feeling like she needed connection so she joined Café RE during a Ditching the Booze course. She made a friend in that group and then started a hiking group locally. Abby has really enjoyed meeting other people in recovery at multiple meet ups. She is extremely open about the fact that she doesn’t drink and feels that helps her stay accountable.
Abby hosts a lot of chats in Café RE which she feel helps her give back to the community. She stays social with a lot of the friends that she has met there. She does enjoy NA beverages but says CONNECTION is key to her sobriety.
Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys
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| 20 Aug 2018 | RE 183: Be Yourself; Everyone Else is Already Taken | 00:47:13 | |
Jason, with 178 days since his last drink, shares his story...
“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier
“It’s difficult to believe in yourself because the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe. Everything beautiful in the world is within you.” – Russell Brand
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford
“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb
“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier
“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.” – Roger Babson
“Recovery is not for people who need it, but for people who want it” – Anonymous
“When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. Believe me, it has nothing new to say.” – Unknown
“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard
“If you can quit for a day, you can quit for a lifetime.” – Benjamin Alire Sáenz
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear.” – Rosa Parks
“When was the last time you woke up and wished you’d had just one more drink the night before? I have never regretted not drinking. Say this to yourself, and you’ll get through anything.” – Meredith Bell
“The Pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow” – Anonymous
“The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost
“Your heart is leading you in the right direction. Quiet the mind and follow. “ – Paul Churchill
“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” – Babe Ruth
“Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it.” – J. Petit Senn
“Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.” – Bernard Williams “What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood.” – Alice Miller
SHOW NOTES
[11:50] Paul Introduces Jason.
[14:00] Give listeners an idea of your drinking background.
[27:38] Did you find it difficult to stop the second time?
[32:07] How were you able to quit this time around?
[34:00] Do you think you are addressing more dimensions of sobriety this time?
[36:37] What's something that you've learned about yourself in sobriety?
[37:22] Have you experienced any cravings?
[38:56] If you could go back and change anything about your getting sober, what would it be?
[39:20] What's on your bucket list in sobriety?
[40:00] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Drybe Club – an Instagram page about sobriety Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 14 Nov 2022 | RE 404: The Order of Healing | 01:03:16 | |
Episode 404 – The order of healing
Today we have Natasha. She is 43, from Vancouver, B.C, and took her last drink on August 23, 2021.
Book: Alcohol is Sh!t. https://www.amazon.com/Alcohol-is-Sht-Paul-Churchill-audiobook/
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
Highlights from Paul
Paul outlines the order of healing when we quit drinking. He describes the healing as happening in reverse order of the harm done. You can do the following:
Book: The All-Day Energy Diet. https://amzn.to/3CmLivc
The healing process:
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[11:04] Natasha has been sober for over a year. She is in medical sales, has a son, and enjoys friends, bingo, travel, and hiking.
Natasha was afraid of alcohol during her early years. She would dump out beer and pretend to be drunk to avoid social pressure. After her son was born, she had six beers during a concert. As she approached thirty, she drank after work with her co-workers in the restaurant industry. At 35, she knew her drinking was a problem.
Socializing and drinking was a big part of her job. Her relationship wasn’t healthy because they drank together, and Natasha could outdrink her partner.
Sobriety has taught Natasha that none of her fears about quitting drinking were true; liquid courage is a myth. She is funny and entertaining with her clients. Her relationships have more meaning, and she can be present.
She describes the first year as brutal. After a boozy weekend with girls, Natasha knew it was time to quit. She dumped out a wine cooler, and that was it. She was angry at people who could drink normally and isolated herself a bit. Now she recognizes she can enjoy her life without the chaos of alcohol. Boundaries have become necessary, and she enjoys spending time alone. Reading, listening to podcasts, and meditation have helped her maintain her sobriety. Natasha’s relationships have evolved and grown. She lost some friends along the way, but her core group supports her sobriety.
[58:51] Kris’s Summary
Kris has been getting his garage in order. He recognized that he was comfortable with the chaos until he hit a tipping point. Cleaning the garage has so many parallels to recovery. Kris was overwhelmed, but he did the next right thing, took it slow, and now everything is clean, organized, and easy to navigate.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| 11 Jun 2018 | RE 173: Burn the Ships | 00:44:02 | |
Burn The Ships
SHOW NOTES
[8:00] Paul Introduces Fran.
[11:15] What made you seek out a sober life initially?
[14:14] What was your initial attempt at sobriety like?
[20:02] Did you experience a bottom moment?
[26:37] What was it like when you first quit drinking?
[28:49] Did that help?
[33:26] What is your recovery portfolio like today?
[37:06] What is it like to be a healer and to help people release tension and bad energy?
[38:54] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: This episode is brought to you by Simple Contacts. Visit www.simplecontacts.com/elevator and use the promo code elevator for $30 off your first order. The Language of Letting Go – a book by Melody Beattie Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 21 Apr 2025 | RE 531: Physical Healing Year One AF | 00:53:38 | |
Today we have Maggie. She is 42 years old, from Switzerland, and she took her last drink on February 24th, 2024.
Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people
Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more.
In October of this year, we are going to Peru! There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley.
[02:43] Thoughts from Paul:
A question Paul hears and sees frequently is what to expect when we put the bottle down. He shares that the destruction of alcohol happens in three steps. First the spiritual component, then mental and finally physical. Healing tends to happen in the reverse order. There will be overlap and the transition is not quite linear, nor does the healing ever stop.
Paul expands on what to expect when healing begins and how it can look for our bodies and minds in the first week, month, six months to a year.
[12:06] Paul introduces Maggie:
Maggie is from Switzerland but lives in Hong Kong with her husband Chris and their four dogs. They enjoy spending time on the beach, stand up paddling and triathlons. Professionally, Maggie was the head of IT in investment banking but has recently changed careers and now is an options equity trader.
Maggie says she had her first drink when she was 13 and instantly felt relief from her anxiety. During her teen years, she says she and her friends spent a lot of time going out to bars and she discovered clubbing and cocaine when she was 18.
Maggie did well in school and started working with hedge funds after graduating. She says the workdays ended at 4pm and everyone would go out to have drinks afterwards. Her drinking wasn’t concerning to her at this point in time.
Maggie moved to Hong Kong when she was 24 and this is when she began to realize that she didn’t have an off switch when it came to alcohol. Everyone else would be ready to go home and Maggie says she was just getting started.
From the age of 20 to around 30, Maggie says things got progressively worse. While everything looked successful and stable on the outside, inside she was falling apart. Maggie would compare herself with people that were worse off than her as a way to justify her drinking. Moderation entered the picture, and she would sign up for a lot of physical activities as a way to force herself to be sober.
Maggie moved to Singapore before COVID but then lost her job and was there for a year without her husband. That is when she went from binge drinking to daily drinking. Upon her return to Hong Kong, her husband told her she needed to go to AA.
After four years of stops and starts while trying to make AA work, Maggie knew she needed to try something different. Addicted to multiple substances, Maggie checked herself into rehab but relapsed as soon as she left. After her return to Hong Kong, Maggie tried another location where they used EMDR therapy which helped her find the root causes of her addiction issues.
Maggie was given Antabuse after leaving rehab and that has helped alcohol become a non-negotiable for her. In sobriety she learned that she couldn’t return to her old job. She has made a career change that allows her to work less hours and find a new hobby creating and selling her art.
Maggie feels peaceful now. Her goals are to continue to do sports and be a better athlete, continue to travel and maintain her current peaceful lifestyle.
Maggie’s parting piece of guidance: hang in there and you will eventually get there. Never give up and maybe also explore the root cause of what is causing the drinking in the first place.
Recovery Elevator This isn’t a no to alcohol but a yes to a better life. I love you guys.
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| 30 May 2016 | RE 67: Can Alcoholics Form True Relationships? | 00:46:07 | |
Buddy, with 7 years of sobriety, bounced in an out of AA for from 2002-2008 before something finally stuck and ironically, he explains how drinking actually saved his life.
Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
I read the following line out of an AA Grapevine, August 2013 issue, while on a tumultuous ride over a high altitude Andean pass in Chile. It didn’t help that I was only 2 days sober (relapsed shortly after reading that line and ended up vomiting on myself and the bus) and I thought a relationship would solve my problems.
Page 53 in the 12&12: The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being. | |||
| 05 Feb 2024 | RE 468: A Day in the Life | 00:59:31 | |
Episode 468 – A Day in the Life
Today we have Amber. She is 41 years old and lives in San Luis Obispo. She took her last drink on May 26th, 2020.
“First it is an intention; then a behavior; then a practice; then a habit; then second nature; then it is simply who you are".
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[03:04] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares with us what a typical day in sobriety looks like for him.
He starts his days with hydration, breathwork and/or stretching, reading and coffee. He takes time to connect with the universe and asks for guidance throughout the day.
Paul likes to reflect on what he is thankful for either in a journal or he sits in a comfortable location outside facing the sun while he closes his eyes and gives thanks. Even on shit days, he makes a point to thank the universe.
Reminding himself that the present moment is all that matters, spending time in nature, doing things that he enjoys, connecting with fellow sober peeps, and being creative are also very important to Paul.
Go Brewing use the code elevator at checkout for 15% off.
[12:13] Kris introduces Amber:
Amber is 41 years old; she has two boys and a partner in crime. She works as a 2nd grade teacher, in addition to being a running and sobriety coach. They live in San Luis Obispo, CA and enjoys hiking, mountain biking, running, and swimming.
Growing up, Amber says she was always shy and preferred to be in the background. She was introduced to alcohol in high school and discovered it helped her feel confident and have fun. She didn’t really enjoy the taste, but she loved the way it made her feel and she and her friends drank every weekend.
After going to college, Amber says her drinking only increased. She was recruited to be on the softball team with a full scholarship. The practice and academic schedule was challenging and her drinking increased from every weekend to nearly every day. She gained weight, she wasn’t studying, and her grades were suffering. Her performance on the team found her on the bench often and eventually she was cut from the team and lost everything.
Amber moved to San Diego and finished college there while working in restaurants. She says her drinking increased even more and she got a DUI a few years later. Shortly after that experience, Amber decided to join a teaching career and the stress of it found her relying on alcohol at the end of the day.
Amber says a turning point came after getting married and having two children back-to-back. She had many roles to fill but was still drinking two bottles of wine a night. Finally figuring out that she wanted more for her life, Amber filed for divorce and started taking better care of herself. She started running as an outlet for her emotions and found herself meditating, which she feels helped her make decisions. She looked at her sobriety as a fresh start.
Initially Amber was quiet about her recovery and felt she could figure it out on her own. Once she realized that wasn’t working, she found Celebrate Recovery, got a sponsor, and started doing the work. Once she started meeting more and more people in recovery she stopped feeling alone.
Amber left her teaching job and started her own business as a sober running coach. She started a sober running group Recovery Road Runners and they do a lot of fun things together and help other people stay sober.
Amber encourages people to find physical activities that they enjoy doing, maybe things they did when they were kids. She also suggests vision boards to think about where you want to be in the future and goals you may have.
Amber’s biggest fear when she quit drinking: “That I would never have any fun again, total lie. I have way more fun now.”
Café RE – use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee.
Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| 12 Feb 2018 | RE 156: Progress Not Perfection | 00:53:02 | |
In this episode, Paul vents a little bit of his frustration and anger in recovery about AA and “big alcohol”. Katie, with 496 days since her last drink, shares her story:
SHOW NOTES
[12:00] Paul Introduces Katie.
[19:50] When did you realize the core problem wasn't being solved?
[23:33] When did rehab enter the picture?
[27:45] You realized you had a drinking problem while in rehab?
[30:35] What was it like after? [37:00] How did you overcome the desire to relapse? [38:10] What is your proudest moment in sobriety?
[41:41] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Visit Rxbar.com/elevator and use the promo code elevator for 25% off your first order. The Sober Truth – a book by Lance and Zachary Dodes, debunking recovery programs Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!” | |||
| 12 May 2025 | RE 534: Alcohol and Sleep | 01:06:43 | |
Today we have Ben. He is 45 years old from Liverpool, UK and had his last drink on September 26th, 2021.
Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link - $50 off of device using this link [02:01] Thoughts from Paul:
According to Stanford neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, all health, longevity, and your daily moods, along with your overall state of being, is tied to the quality of your sleep. When you drink alcohol, the quality of your sleep drastically diminishes, leaving you in a state of disrepair the following day.
Paul shares many examples of how poor sleep affects our bodily functions and how drinking even small amounts of alcohol adds fuel to that fire.
When we remove alcohol and we begin entering deep sleep cycles again, all of these negative consequences of poor sleep start to disappear. It may not happen in one night but within time, trust the body and this function will return to normal.
[09:22] Paul introduces Ben:
Ben was a previous guest on Episode 364.
Ben started drinking when he was 14. It was tied into music and his social life. Alcohol and music helped him to escape the strife that he was having at school with bullies and being different than everyone else.
Drinking was a huge part of his rock and roll lifestyle. Drinking with bandmates while writing music, going out after practice and drinking after performances were all part of the landscape for Ben in his early 20s. This continued and progressed over the next decade.
Towards the end of his 30s, Ben says things started to get really dark for him. He found himself just wanting to drink on the tour bus and be left alone. The days of wanting to drink to socialize and be connected were gone for him.
When he realized his drinking was becoming an issue, Ben tried to stop for periods of time. Later on, to create accountability Ben would make pacts with his brother where if he drank on one of his 30-day breaks, his brother could sell Ben’s guitar. The idea of stopping completely was unthinkable to Ben at the time.
After a situation where Ben almost lost all of his musical equipment at the end of a tour, he started to look into AA. It was recommended to him by someone he knew who had gotten sober. He was a bit dubious of it because he thought AA was only for people that had a problem. When Ben first spoke at the meeting he thought he might end up making light of his story but found himself crying instead and made the statement that he was scared that if he never drank again, that there would be nothing for him to look forward to for the rest of his life.
Throughout 2020 and 2021, Ben would find himself having two day drinking binges nearly every week. He had just gotten an apartment without housemates or family for the first time and had no one he had to be accountable to. The fact that his job wasn’t 9-5 gave him a lot of free time. The moderation techniques began again because he wasn’t ready to believe he had to quit entirely.
After a few rock bottom incidents, Ben finally made the decision to stop. In the first few months he used a variety of tools including harm reduction. He allowed himself to play video games again and eat food that he had always denied himself while drinking. When he reached out to be on the podcast the first time, he utilized that as motivation to stay sober at least until the interview a few months later.
Year one of sobriety found Ben still having cravings and just getting used to life being sober but says years two and three found him celebrating personal and professional successes. He says life can still be complicated at times but has learned to use obstacles as opportunities. Meditation has been a powerful tool for Ben in his recovery in addition to journalling, limiting his phone usage, reading and exercise.
Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys.
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| 03 Dec 2018 | RE198: The Importance of Letting Go | 00:55:28 | |
Patrick, with 10 years 2 months since his last drink, shares his story. SHOW NOTES [10:50] Paul introduces Patrick Patrick is 37 years old, and is from Brooklyn, New York. He’s been sober since August 23, 2008. He is married and has no children. He works as a stand up comedian, recovery coach, and a video editor. He likes to try to squeeze in a good meal between shows, visit friends, and snowboard. He would like to get better at rollerblading. [14:08] Give us a little background about your drinking habits He did not drink until his freshman year in college, because he has a family history of alcohol abuse. When he tried alcohol for the first time, he loved the way it made him feel. Alcohol became problematic within his first year of drinking. When he was drunk, he became unpredictable: he was the guy who took off his clothes and climbed buildings. Despite getting warnings from counselors, he continued to drink for the next 8 years. [30:40] What finally made you make that decision to go into sobriety? While at a baseball game, he told his friends that he wasn’t going to drink. His buddy said, “but you can have just one,” and Patrick said, “of course I can have just one.” 6 hours later, he was ejected from a bar for being too intoxicated. The next morning, his girlfriend told him that he had to move out. That became his sobriety date. [41:00] In the last 10 years, have you noticed any cross addicitions? He definitely needs to look out for working too much and not eating in a healthy way. When stressed, he turns to ice cream. He’s realized that since he was a kid, he’s tried to change how he feels on the inside by using things on the outside. [44:10] Is there something that you have done differently while getting sober? He would have gone to 12 step meetings immediately. Learning the idea of doing the next right action sooner. [ 48:48 ] Rapid Fire Round
The trip to Italy when he became “a monster” and his girlfriend threatened to leave early.
He was moving out of an apartment a few years before he got sober, and he realized that no one, neighbors, roommates was unhappy that he was leaving
Staying true to sharing his story through his comedy
The phone. Calling other sober people and being available.
Show up with integrity.
If you’re going through hell, just keep going. This too, shall pass.
If you’re doing “sober October” for the 10th year in a row, and you rarely get through a few days of it, you might be an alcoholic.
Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com “We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 01 Jan 2018 | RE 150: We Can Do This | 00:53:28 | |
It is January 1st, 2018. Today represents the start of a new year. The fact that you are listening to a podcast that is all about bettering your life sets you apart from all the rest. Addicts and alcoholics need altruistic relationships in our lives with others who do not drink. Tricia, with 1 year since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[8:38] Paul Introduces Tricia. I live in Dallas Texas, I’m 36 years old, I am a Chef by trade. I like to do crafty stuff, and I like to go running.
[15:03] Paul- What was it like hitting that 1-year milestone? What was that feeling?
Tricia- 1-year felt better than my birthday. My soberversary felt so much more important than any birthday I had ever had. Having one year was 10 times that feeling of excitement and accomplishment.
[26:43] Paul- Tell us more about that.
Tricia- I can quickly compare getting sober to starting an exercise routine. Everyone wants a quick fix. That never works. There is no quick fix. You have to do the things that make you uncomfortable and are hard. You have to learn to have discipline. AA is attraction, not promotion. I can take what I want, and leave the rest.
[32:32] Paul- The majority of listeners have yet to step foot into an AA meeting. What are your thoughts on AA? What light can you shed upon the 12-step process?
Tricia- I have a lot of opinions on AA. It’s a place where you can meet people in real life. We all have the same disease. It is neat to meet people who get you. I love that part about AA. There are 2 parts to AA: Going to meetings, and working the 12 steps. If you just go to meetings and you don’t do the steps you are missing out.
[36:42] Paul- Tell us a little about the retreat and what you learned from it.
Tricia- I signed up early for the retreat as an incentive to stay sober. The retreat in Montana was an adult experience kind of like camp. Creating relationships with people who are just like you. Everyone was so vulnerable right away. It was magical. You had to be there to know.
Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Gourmaleo - Dallas based Paleo food delivery service Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Opportunity to waive the set up fee. Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 19 Jul 2021 | RE 335: All Emotions are Created Equal | 00:57:48 | |
Barela took her last drink 42 days ago (at the time of this recording). This is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
A former Recovery Elevator interviewee, Jody, is hosting her own sobriety courses. This is called “The Sobriety Shift” and is a 12-week transformational program for women for are already sober, but want to elevate their life. You can find out more information here.
From Paul: “All emotions are created equal”
You need all emotions to give you the barometer for good and bad or to define what emotion even is. Being able to feel both sides of the emotional spectrum is important. Some ying vs yang emotions are: Hope and fear, gratitude and anger, pride and shame, desire and repulsion, love and hate.
When we view all emotions as equal, we don’t double down on them: we don’t get mad that we are mad, or anxious that we are anxious. When you label an emotion as “bad” you have a higher chance of drinking over them. By viewing them as equal to “good” emotions all emotions are able to pass through us without being strengthened or intensified. Everything has a purpose to help us evolve.
Today’s show is sponsored by Betterhelp.
Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 1,000,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
[12:10] Odette introduces Barela.
Barela is 43 years old and from Salt Lake City, UT. She is a mother to her Yorkie named Kiki. By day is a victims advocate for a non-profit and by night she is your Queer grocery clerk that helps you find your produce. For fun she loves true crime podcasts, going for long walks with her dog, hikes with friends, reading, painting, meditation and puzzles. Because of the pandemic she’s been focusing on a lot of solo projects.
[14:48] Do you notice that solitude is different now that you’re sober?
Barela said yes, she’s always enjoyed her own company, but she’s now more active and productive with her time. She’s more creative because alcohol isn’t in the way of her focus. Every morning is a great morning for her.
[15:38] Can you give us a background on your drinking?
Barela said she started drinking when she was 16. Her mom bought her alcohol to keep her in the house, rather than being out. She didn’t like the taste at first. When she moved to Portland and was in a band alcohol became more a part of her everyday life. It escalated quickly in the last 10 years. At around age 28 she started blacking out. In the beginning they didn’t scare her, but at the end it changed. The cycle of getting drunk, being hung over, ibuprofen, hair of the dog, get drunk… repeat became her life. Getting alcohol became an obsession in her life.
[19:51] Were you surrounded by people who were drinking like you?
Barela said yes, she was hanging out with people who normalized all of this. Her last black out was December 19, 2019 and she’s gone through some big shifts in friendships because a lot were of those were drinking friendships only. She lost some jobs due to drinking as well. After some geographical drinking changes which didn’t work, she moved back to Salt Lake City. Her bottom was when she was making her grandmother dinner, drank a fifth of Old Crow and she woke up in bed with a broken ankle.
[24:27] What happened after your bottom?
Barela said she declared “I can’t drink anymore!” but she also saw how she had been simply adjusting her bottom as she drank. Being bed ridden after breaking her ankle brought this into stark reality. She journaled about all the relationships her drinking was affecting, including the one with herself. She knew she needed to leave the service industry. Stepping outside of that she found work with the domestic violence coalition and working at the grocery at night.
[27:56] What was that time period after that like?
Barela said she slept a lot and ate whatever she wanted. Lots of self-reflection. She also burned the ships to her friends for accountability.
[29:41] How do you build accountability into living alone?
Barela said she’s superstitious and the idea of drinking again is truly scary to her. She knows that alcohol will always be there but she’s made a life she loves away from alcohol.
[31:36] Did you used to have a witching hour and did you have to change your habits around it?
Barela said she drank all the time, so she didn’t have a witching hour exactly. There was always a reason to be drinking, no matter what time it was.
[33:05] How were you sleeping before you quit?
Barela said sleeping has never been a problem. Barela talks about how she started detecting patterns within her relapses and trying to protect her energy and setting boundaries.
[39:10] What are some tools you use every day to protect your sobriety?
Barela said waking up, doing her gratitude prayer and then thinking about her goals. Making her bed and setting daily intentions. Listening to podcasts. She recently discovered The Seltzer Squad podcast.
[40:37] What is your go to strategy when you do get a craving?
Barela said she talks to herself. She tries to locate what the feeling is and why she’s feeling that way. If the craving is particularly strong she will play the tape forward.
[42:21] Does your grandmother know you’re not drinking anymore?
Barela said she hasn’t been there for about 8 months; she hasn’t told her directly. She hasn’t burned the ships with her grandmother or her aunt who also lives in that home. She’s not sure why, but she hasn’t yet.
[45:52] What has been an unexpected perk on this journey?
Barela said her intuition has been more on point. She pulls Tarot cards and having better intuition has helped her there. She’s also been working on remote viewing as well (locating objects with your mind). She’s saved a ton of money and can do nice things for herself. She feels empowered and happy. She noticed she looks better. Everything is better.
[50:18] Rapid Fire Round
Trust your intuition. If it feels heavy in your heart, go against it. Only bad things happen after 1am, so go home.
Liquid Death and her friend makes her own tinctures which she adds to it.
Talenti Banana Caramel Crunch
Believe in yourself, you can do it. Keep thinking about that person you want to be without alcohol. Keep reaching out.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
when you are constantly finding yourself waking up with a MARI (mysterious alcohol related injury).
Odette’s find thoughts:
A sober perk: she’s found friendships with people who she wouldn’t normally be friends with. Finding people who feel in the same way you do and making those connections is powerful. Through sharing Odette has found more in common with others than she thought. What an unexpected surprise!
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator –you took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up- I love you guys.” | |||
| 18 Apr 2016 | RE 62: Alcohol is Deadly, but These Facts, Won't Keep you Sober | 00:40:48 | |
With 91 days of sobriety, Sarah shares how she did it! In this podcast episode I cover an article from Sober Nation covering why Alcohol is such a potent drug. Sarah also shares how she made it to 91 days of sobriety! In this episode I review The Staying Sober Handbook, by Howard P Goodman and I would definitely recommend it for someone who is in recovery or as an informational piece if you want to know more about the disease in general. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation. In this episode I review The Staying Sober Handbook, by Howard P Goodman and I would definitely recommend it for someone who is in recovery or as an informational piece if you want to know more about the disease in general. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation. | |||
| 19 Sep 2022 | RE 396: The Brain and Alcohol | Genetic Predisposition | 01:00:49 | |
Episode 396 - The Brain and Alcohol – Genetic Predisposition
Today we have Rene. He is 33, from California, and took his last drink January 18, 2022.
Register for RE’s AF Photo Class: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/afphoto/
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Highlights from Paul
Alcohol has many biochemical and neurochemical effects on the brain. There are dramatic changes in the neurons that control the release of serotonin when we consume alcohol. Serotonin is the feel-good chemical and 80% of it is created in the gut. When we mix alcohol and serotonin it gets converted into acetaldehyde. This acetaldehyde acts as a toxin.
Alcohol changes the relationship between the hypothalamus, the pituitary gland, and the adrenals. The adrenals release chemicals called epinephrine and cortisol, which are involved in the longer-term stress response.
People who consistently drink are more stressed out at baseline. They have more cortisol released form their adrenal glands even when they are not drinking. Consequently, they feel more stressed and more anxiety when they are not drinking. Many scientists agree that stress is the number one contributor to disease.
When we overload the brain with alcohol, it’s almost too much to process and the activity of neurons in the hippocampus, which is involved with memory formation, are strained and then they completely shut off – that is a blackout. You can still be functioning, some high functioning, but the memory forming part of your brain, the hippocampus, clocks out.
Many believe that alcoholism is hereditary. Recent studies, including one of twins conducted by Dr. Gabor Mate indicate genetics may not be as much of a contributor as we once thought. Epigenetics indicate that environment influences gene expression and gene mutations. Science is beginning to accept that environmental factors cause or influence addictions. The ten-fold increase in alcoholism supports that theory.
Dr. Andrew Huberman’s podcast provides much more detail on the science behind many of these theories. Take a listen if you would like to learn more: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2ebY3WNejLNbK47emgjd1E?si=bf71f9f038bc4826
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[14:37] Rene has been sober for over six months. He is 34 and a single Dad He is an entrepreneur and enjoys going to the gym, exploring the outdoors, hiking and the beach.
Rene is first generation American, and his family is very supportive. He grew up around drinking, it was normalized.
He got drunk once during his senior year of high school. He didn’t drink again until after he broke up with his first girlfriend years later. Drinking became a reward, then it became a daily habit. Working in the restaurant industry, drinking was expected. He was fired once for drinking.
It didn’t occur to Rene that drinking was a problem. He began counseling and the counselor recommended AA. Rene found it easy to see the similarities; he felt like he found his people. He was planning to join the military when he learned he was about to become a father. Eventually, he won sole custody of his daughter which dashed his hopes of joining the military. The combination of issues sent him back to drinking. He controlled his drinking for over a year, and it worked until it didn’t.
Rene went back to AA and got a sponsor and a fitness coach. Consistency helps him maintain his sobriety. He is feeling mentally and physically strong.
[57:35] Kris’s Summary
Seasonal shifts can put you on edge. Share your experience: kris@recoveryelevator.com.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- We took the elevator down. We need to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. | |||
| 10 Oct 2022 | RE 399: What’s the Hardest Thing About Quitting Drinking? | 00:49:58 | |
Episode 399 – What’s the hardest part about quitting drinking?
Today we have Zita. She is 31, from Minnesota, and took her last drink on November 27, 2021.
Restore: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/
Highlights from Paul
An AF life is overall better than drinking. The key word is overall. Quitting drinking is the hardest thing Paul has ever done, and, it’s the best decision he’s ever made.
Not quitting is harder on you than you realize. The domino effect of addiction cascades to your health, your relationships, your livelihood, and your sense of well-being. Those rock bottoms get worse and hit new depths that create despair, shame and helplessness. The decision to quit drinking can be harder when you don’t have those rock bottom moments, but you still have that voice in your head telling you, it’s time. Quitting isn’t easy, particularly in the beginning, but it has its own set of dominos, the path toward a better life.
The hardest part about quitting drinking isn’t the withdrawals or burning the ships. It’s entering the path of the unknown: infinite possibilities exist.
You can put the shovel down at any time.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[12:26] Zita is an ICU nurse. She loves cooking, travel, rollerblading, movies, and getting her nails done. She is headed back to school to become a nurse practitioner.
Zita’s relationship with alcohol started in her early teens. She was a normal drinker through college. She drank a lot, but it never impacted her school, her relationships, or her ability to function. After college, she started working and a few years in she noticed having anxiety when she was around people which was a shift. After a breakup, she started using alcohol to cope with her emotions.
Zita’s family members spoke with her about her drinking, intervention style. She thought about slowing down but quitting never occurred to her at that point. Upon continued reflection, Zita realized she had some unprocessed trauma. She tried naltrexone, Antabuse and Women for Sobriety. Nothing was working. She shifted her approach to working on mental health and took a month off work and started DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) treatment. Mental health support gave her new tools to shift her mindset. The first few months were hard and she nearly relapsed, but she gained some momentum.
Today, Zita feels great. She has gained assertiveness, confidence and learned to develop boundaries. She doesn’t have her “old self” back, she has a better life. Zita is proud that she has learned to manage her emotions more effectively. Looking forward, Zita is excited about graduating. She focused her education on mental health, and she looks forward to making broader contributions with her new knowledge.
Paul’s Summary
Paul believes you are about to bloom. Nobody exists without a purpose in the universe. Things under pressure produce new results; rocks under pressure become diamonds. The blooming has already begun.
[47:21] Musical submission from The Aquerials.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| 06 Nov 2023 | RE 455: How Do You Feel About Ayahuasca and Other Plant Medicines? | 00:57:19 | |
Episode 455 – How Do You Feel About Ayahuasca and Other Plant Medicines?
Today we have Chris. He is 40 years old and lives in Austin, TX. He took his last drink on February 16th, 2007.
Check out our events page for our lineup of upcoming retreats and courses. Beginning January 1st, RESTORE, our intense Dry January course is back! In February we have another 5-week Ukelele Course. Then in March, we have two events in Costa Rica, and we’ll see you in Bozeman, Montana in August for our 6th annual retreat in Big Sky Country.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
[02:16] Highlights from Paul:
Today is episode 9 out of 10 in the Q&A series.
Today’s question comes from Krista B, in our Café RE group. She says:
“How Paul is feeling about ayahuasca and other plant medicines. Are you still as passionate about its benefits today as a few years ago? Has the treatment worked in a sustained way, in your opinion?”
Paul shared his initial experience with ayahuasca in episode 170. He believes that plant medicines have a place in the world of addiction and mental health. Do not buy it on the internet and try it solo; set and setting is everything. There is so much preparation that needs to go into an ayahuasca ceremony and under the right circumstances, it will answer many questions. A big one being why you drink. Paul shares how ayahuasca still impacts his everyday life.
While Paul found plant medicine helpful on his journey, he recognizes it’s not for everyone, nor does he think everyone should try plant medicine. If you are interested, please do your own research before trying it.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[11:59] Paul introduces Chris:
Chris lives in Austin Texas; he is married with two children aged 8 and 9. He is an entrepreneur and enjoys being creative through many avenues.
Chris always felt like an outsider that didn’t belong while he was growing up. His parents divorced when he was young, and he blamed himself and ended up distancing himself from people. He craved connections and ended up starting drinking with a group of friends. Chris felt like alcohol was the solution to his feelings of not belonging. His drinking increased and over time he lost all those connections that he used alcohol to find and was drinking alone. At age 23 he went to treatment where they helped him recognize that he had some mental health issues, the main ones being social anxiety and depression.
Some alumni from the group accepted Chris, helped him go to meetings and then they would all socialize afterwards. He finally felt he was making connections that he had craved all his life.
Seeing people that were staying sober and succeeding was a big boost to Chris’ confidence, and he felt like it was possible for him to do the same. His life in sobriety was becoming so great that he never had a desire to go back to drinking.
Chris started going to school to become a counselor and immediately started working in the recovery field. He knew it was important to maintain and strengthen his recovery to do the job successfully.
Chris started Sans Bar in 2018 as a pop-up bar when there were very few options in the alcohol-free arena. The pop-ups grew, and more and more people were interested in what Chris was doing, mostly through word of mouth. He feels it came along at the right time as the sober curious movement was beginning. Chris says doing this gave him the same feelings that his first sip of booze did – he was forming connections. He feels Sans Bar is for everyone, not just people in recovery.
Chris’s favorite resources in recovery: The Luckiest Club, 12 step programs, podcasts.
Chris’s parting piece of guidance: you can’t fail. The point of sobriety is not abstinence, it’s growth.
Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys.
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| 11 Sep 2017 | RE 134: What I Learned at the Recovery Elevator Retreat | 00:51:01 | |
Paul summarizes the Retreat, which took place in Bozeman, Montana.
SHOW NOTES
[13:22] Paul Introduces Kristin 238 days sober, Amy 11 years sober, Dave 12 days sober, and John with 18 and ½ years of sobriety.
[15:55] Paul- What did you think the retreat was going to be like?
Dave- I didn’t have any set expectations. It has been sharing, but so much more. I have connected with every single person here.
[16:50] Paul- What surprised you so far on this retreat?
Kristin- I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to everybody here. I am not extremely comfortable around strangers. Since we have been in the online community the past year, it was easy to chat with everyone.
Amy- I enjoyed the camaraderie. It is beautiful here.
[27:30] Paul- Tell us what made you decide to come, and a little about your story?
Kristin- My drinking career didn’t start until 2001. I realized about 5 years ago that I had a problem, and tried to moderate. My bottom was New Years Eve. I have not lost any friends in sobriety. It’s been a wonderful 8 months.
Dave- I grew up in a household of Tea Totalers. I got into a high stress job with expense accounts. The “sick and tired of being sick and tired” resonated with me. There is a new chip on my shoulder.
Amy- I started drinking when I was 13. I had the epiphany that this was the missing link. I didn’t think there would be this much joy in sobriety. You can’t love other people until you love yourself. Everything I wanted alcohol to give me, I got sober.
John- My drinking career began in high school. My mom passed away when she was 47, many family members had alcohol related deaths. I became a daily drinker from college to 40 years old. January 5th of 1999 is when I got sober. My biggest breakthrough was writing a letter to my mother who had passed away. I stay sober due to the people in my community.
This podcast episode was brought to you by Hello Fresh. For $30 off your first week of Hello Fresh visit hellofresh.com and use the promo code recoveryfresh30
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 13 Nov 2023 | RE 456: How Do You Let Go of Resentments? | 00:59:22 | |
Episode 456 – How Do You Overcome Resentments?
Today we have Nathan. He’s 42 years old and from Andover, MN and took his last drink on April 19th, 2023.
On January 1st, 2024, we are starting our intensive sobriety course geared towards the newcomer. Check out the link to learn more about RESTORE.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
[02:01] Highlights from Paul:
Today’s question is from Darren A. who asks, “Can you discuss resentment and letting go of resentment?"
Life is a school where the people, places, and things are there to help us grow and become deeper human beings. The people we encounter in life are there to help us grow.
The theory is that none of this is happening to you. Remember, that is how a victim speaks. Flip that to believe that everything that has ever happened to you in your life is happening for you, for your own personal growth and development, to make you a more resilient human being.
Resentments are the teachers. Yes, they suck, they emotionally and physically hurt, but they are the opportunities for healthy and normal growth.
Another strategy is to stop labeling things as good or bad. When a person, place or thing pisses you off, try to recognize the mind immediately slapping a label on it, try to remain open. We don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. That person who may have recently dogged you may have actually shielded you from a tragedy down the road.
“You can be right, or you can have peace." Paul shares this mantra with us frequently on the podcast. He tries to repeat this mantra when he encounters a difficult life challenge.
We want to hear from the listener. How do you overcome resentments? Let us know in our Monday Instagram post on the Recovery Elevator Instagram page.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[08:56] Kris introduces Nathan:
Nathan is 42 and lives in Andover, MN. He works in financial operations but was recently laid off. He is in the process of going through a divorce and has two cats. He enjoys woodworking and building things with hand tools, he also enjoys golf, reading and occasionally writing.
Nathan calls himself a late bloomer and hated beer. It was normal to have it around when he was growing up, but his dad drank NA beer. He was a casual drinker through his twenties and thirties.
In late 2019 Nathan’s wife was in a car accident related to some health issues. It was a very stressful time for them as his wife was unable to drive and undergoing a lot of testing and Nathan was dealing with a very stressful work project as well.
Some health issues drove Nathan to use alcohol to ease his symptoms. His career was stressful, and he and his wife were having communication issues. Nathan didn’t drink every day, but some days were binge sessions. He discovered the amount he could have without too many consequences the next day.
After a weekend of binge drinking, Nathan had an experience that felt like he was having a heart attack, and he went to the ER where he realized alcohol was causing the problems. Soon after he was able to admit to his wife that he needed to stop. He went back to the ER and told them that he needed help. After detox, Nathan enrolled in an IOP and connected with a great counselor.
It took a few months for Nathan to start feeling physically better and is currently confronting some difficult life situations. He plays the tape forward and continues to work on his recovery despite the strong emotions he is dealing with.
Nathan’s favorite resources in recovery: his IOP counselor, the RE podcast and Café RE.
Nathan’s parting piece of guidance: make a plan (to avoid relapse), make it really detailed and change it as you need to.
Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
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| 09 Jul 2018 | RE 177: The Ego | 00:44:36 | |
Today we hear from Jade. She's 27 years old, from Kentucky and has had her last drink on April 14th 2018. The Ego: The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and unconscious mind. It is in charge of reality testing and gives us a sense of personal identity. The self concept. A collection of beliefs that serve as the foundation for our bearings in life. Jade, with about 2 months since her last drink, shares her story...
SHOW NOTES
[11:15] Paul Introduces Jade.
[13:00] When did you first realize that you had a problem with alcohol?
[17:40] How hard was it to only have 1 or 2 drinks?
[20:30] Did you make any attempts to moderate your drinking?
[22:50] How did you end up quitting?
[27:45] Have you had any cravings? What did you do?
[31:31] What is the biggest challenge you've faced so far in sobriety?
[33:42] Walk us through a day in your recovery. What's your plan to keep adding days? [39:40] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: This podcast episode is brought to you in support by Zip Recruiter and right now, my listeners can try Zip Recruiter for free. Go to www.ziprecruiter.com/elevator and get started today. This Naked Mind – a book by Annie Grace Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 10 Feb 2025 | RE 521: The Drunkest Place in America | 00:55:20 | |
Today we have Dave. He is 69 years old from Beaver Creek, CO. He took his last drink in September 17th, 2024.
Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link - receive $50 off of a device
If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. Come join the party!
Tonight begins our first ever AF Songwriting Course starting at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.
[02:40] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares an article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the tanking sales of red wine in San Francisco restaurants. All alcohol sales were down but mocktail sales were up.
Many people share that it’s tough to quit drinking where they live. Paul discovered a statistic from the CDC that says where he lives in Gallatin County, Montana is listed as the drunkest of all 3,244 counties in America.
In the state of Montana, they place a white cross on the road where traffic fatalities occur in hopes of reminding drivers to take caution and slow down. 66% of these white crosses are alcohol related.
There is no judgement towards those that are still binge drinking. At Recovery Elevator, we are not better than anyone, we have just chosen a different path. If you feel called to walk this pathway with us, we’d love to have you.
[10:01] Paul introduces Dave:
Dave lives in Beaver Creek, CO with his dog Tango. He is very active in the AA community in his area and cherishes the connections he has made there. He enjoys skiing, biking, and traveling. He has three kids and recently became a grandfather. Dave is currently seeking his master’s degree in clinical counseling.
Alcohol was present in Dave’s life growing up as his parents drank socially. He drank socially as well throughout high school and college. He drinking didn’t become problematic until later. Dave shares that his alcohol use disorder stemmed from his chronic childhood emotional trauma. Alcohol later became the solution to dealing with unwanted emotions.
In 2016 after raising his kids independently and a relationship had ended, Dave started to use drinking to deal with some voids in his life. He had a successful commercial real estate business but didn’t have many local friends at the time.
Dave went to rehab in 2017 after having two DUIs in December of 2016. He was able to stay sober until 2021 and says again it was emotional overwhelm that sparked more field research. He found help in a psychologist who was a clinical director of a rehab facility. He was able to get sober again in July of 2021.
A reunion in September of 2024 found Dave having beers with friends thinking he would just have a few and would be fine. Dave had more the next day and realized that if he didn’t clear the rest of the alcohol out at the end of the day, he would continue to drink. Dave credits his tools and connection in AA to being able to get sober once again.
Dave is huge on connection. Both connections with people and connections with a higher power. He enjoys going to meetings and being of service to others in the community. Dave says one of the greatest gifts of sobriety for him is giving up control of outcomes. He chooses to deal with emotional overwhelm is awareness and since he no longer has alcohol in his system it is easier for him to be aware of what is happening. Dave is a big believer in journaling because of the connection from the hand to the head. When he puts his feelings on paper, he can see rational versus irrational thoughts.
Dave’s parting piece of guidance: stay with your feelings, journal about them.
Dave is looking for internship that involves 200 hours of direct engagement of one-on-one counseling with or without supervision. If you can help, reach out to info@recoveryelevator.com.
Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. You can do this.
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| 13 Jun 2022 | RE 382: So Now What? | 01:06:40 | |
Episode 382– So now what?
Today we have Ryan. He is 40, from Denver, and took his last drink on January 7, 2013.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Highlights from Paul
Recovery Elevator Newsletter: https://recoveryelevator.com
Paul shares Odette’s wise words, “we can’t be hard on ourselves when we do hard things.” He also examines those who abuse alcohol and the correlation with being hard on ourselves. Could the pace you are setting for yourself be driving you to drink?
Not drinking isn’t an activity. I quit drinking, so now what? You are making space for a new chapter in your life. A theme you will find in that chapter is your relationship with yourself.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[11:15] Ryan has been sober for over nine years. He is the founder of Free Spiritual Community for addicts to break the cycle of addiction. He is married and has four kids. He loves being outside, the mountains, travel, and family life.
Ryan has been in ministry for 14 years, and sobriety brought him a spiritual awakening. He went to bible school, and during the first month, his brother was killed in a car accident. The addiction began to take over. Alcohol helped Ryan deal with pain, fear, and uncertainty. He experienced shame and fundamentally did not like himself as a person.
Ryan didn’t know how to stop the pain or creating pain. While in the seminary, his drinking escalated. One Christmas Eve, his sister asked him not to come around anymore because she didn’t want her kids to see him drunk. He describes putting on a mask, so nobody could see who he was. Ryan describes the grace that helped him connect to his relationship with God, knowing that God was there during his addiction.
Admitting that he was spiritually disconnected created spiritual freedom that changed his life. Shame, anger, and self-hatred helped him connect to God and explore a different way of life. An intervention from his wife made the difference. She used the word “we,” and knowing he didn’t have to do it alone propelled him into recovery.
Nine years in, Ryan still practices letting go. He began his journey in 12-step programs, and he went from sitting in the back of the room to actively engaging, getting vulnerable, and being of service. Today, Ryan and his wife have a church filled with addicts, loved ones of addicts, and spiritual refugees, https://freespiritualcommunity.com. Insta: freespiritualcommunity, YouTube: freespiritual community. https://wagoncoffeeroasters.com/
Kris’ Summary
Kris talks about his wife Aimee being on the Recovery Elevator podcast. Check out episode 321. Kris thanks listeners for giving him the room to grow.
Keep going. Finds some peace.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –it all starts from the inside out. I love you guys! I love you guys. | |||
| 18 Nov 2019 | RE 248: Your Story | 00:53:22 | |
Patrick took his last drink on January 1, 2019. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! A new Café RE group will be launching January 1, 2020! Also, Recovery Elevator Meet-ups in Australia have been scheduled for December! Be sure to check the events calendar or the weekly email. Paul is currently working on a meditation course, that he hopes to have out by early next year…warning, you may just might fall in love with yourself. On today’s episode Paul talks about sharing and owning our story. This can be therapeutic, but also, if done too many times, dangerous. Why? Your story becomes your future. How do we stop this? We learn to protect us from our thoughts. When you take your energies and thoughts off your past addictions and traumas they can disappear. One way to do this is through meditation.
[11:15] Paul introduces Patrick.
Patrick was born and raised in Boston. He is a high school teacher and teaches religion and history. He is married and has a 6-year-old daughter. For fun Patrick likes long distance hiking, car camping and road trips.
[14:20] Give us a background on your drinking.
Patrick says he accepted that he was an alcoholic at the age of 18 when he entered the seminary. He got a fake ID at the age of 16 and was going into liquor stores at 16 and buying his own liquor. At the age of 18 Patrick started going to AA meetings. Patrick started drinking again, about the age of 29, and only beer.
The next couple of years the beer became scotch, then vodka. After about 2 weeks of consuming vodka for 2 weeks Patrick contemplated suicide. When his baby was only 2 weeks old Patrick went to the hospital. He is 45 years old. He is checked into the hospital for 9 days to detox. A year later…picking up his 1-year chip at an AA meeting, he had already had a couple drinks before the meeting.
[19:35] What happened next?
Patrick and his wife decided they were going to have a baby. Wasn’t what he planned…but he started hitting the bottle hard. He started hiding bottles all over. Patrick wrapped bottles in his hospital bag to get through the birth of his child.
[33:50] What was different this time?
Patrick says he reached a turning point, he could stay on the couch drinking scotch and vodka and have his wife leave him, or live the life he knew he wanted.
[39:45] How’d you do it??
Like a bird…worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Be fully present in every moment.
[43:50] What are some of the lessons you have learned about yourself along the way?
Patrick says he is discovering who he’s always been.
[45:30] Were there cravings?
Patrick says he has had cravings in the past but not the past 9 months.
[47:05] How has your life changed without alcohol?
Patrick says he is fully present with his wife and with his daughter…and fully present with himself.
[47:50] Rapid Fire Round
Honesty. I lied mostly to myself, and then when I stopped it got better.
Camping on the river with my daughter.
Polar Mango Cherry Bliss.
Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, This Naked Mind, Recovery Revolution, I go to AA and volunteer at a detox center.
A cross country trip with my 6-year-old.
Brutal honesty with self.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
You shoot vodka nips on your way to your 1-year AA anniversary.
Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this.” | |||
| 28 Sep 2015 | 032: Paul makes 1 year of sobriety and shares his story: Part 3 the Solution | 00:57:38 | |
Tim explains about how Smart Recovery has helped him stay sober | |||
| 22 Apr 2019 | RE 218: Let's Talk Relapse | 00:52:24 | |
James, with a sobriety date of November 12, 2016, shares his story.
Recovery Elevator is on Instagram! Please follow Paul and Ben here .
On today’s podcast Paul discuses relapse. For some, and Paul has only met a few, relapse isn’t part of their story. But for the vast majority it is, and it isn’t something to be ashamed of. Spontaneous sobriety is rare. Paul feels that the word ‘relapse’ is another word in recovery, similar to the word ‘alcoholic’, that needs to be thrown out. The word ‘relapse’ has implications of failure.
When we drink again, after having made the internal declaration not to, we are simply doing more field research, learning lessons along the way. If you find yourself in a continuous cycle of field research, self-compassion is key. Stop placing success and failure parameters on whether you drank last night or not. When we start addressing what we are using alcohol to cover up than relapse will become less frequent and even a thing of the past.
When you do find yourself on stable footing, beware of the 3 most dangerous words on this journey…I got this.
SHOW NOTES
**Listeners you can listen to James’ first interview back on episode 105 when he had 74 days of sobriety, today he has 850 days.
[8:05] Paul introduces James
James is 31 years old and lives in New Jersey with his wife and their pomsky, Milo. He works in Manhattan. For fun he likes to golf, go to the gym, and hang with his wife and pup.
[10:50] Give us a little background about your drinking.
James started drinking when he was 13, stealing beers and wine coolers from the liquor cabinet. In high school he was not a big drinker, although he remembers how drinking helped make him feel comfortable.
He started college, on a golf scholarship, became good friends with one of his teammates that was a Christian, started going to bible study and church and didn’t drink his entire freshman year. Later, one of his teammates from England, was graduating so they threw a party and James drank. He picked up right where he left off and the next three years of college he was binge drinking and dabbled in drugs.
The spring semester of his senior year his coach called him in to his office and told him not to come to practice anymore, that he was coming in smelling like liquor and bringing the rest of the team down. This was the first time that he realized his drinking was affecting other people.
[13:44] Can you tell us what it felt like to have someone on the outside call you out on your drinking.
Immediately James was embarrassed and ashamed. He walked out of the office feeling sad and like he had let everyone down. He was able to curb his drinking enough to not be a burden and make it through the last 3 months playing golf.
2010 James was in Barcelona, caddying at a nice country club, the 2nd day he caddied he met a man that offered him a job which he took a week later. This was the beginning of the end. From the time he graduated at 21 years old to 28 years old, when he got sober, it was a quick progression of drugs and alcohol. In the span of 5 years James lost his Grandfather, his uncle and his Dad. Instead of dealing with the losses he used alcohol and drugs.
At 27 he was arrested for possession of cocaine, theft, and disturbing the peace. This leads to an intervention by his family and his Mom gives him the option to go to rehab or see a therapist. He picked the therapist. He went through a number of therapists and his girlfriend of 2 years left him during this time.
[22:40] What did it feel like that moment when you told yourself you were done.
He immediately felt a sense of relief. He reached out to a friend from college, that he used to party with, but from his posts on Facebook knew that he had gotten sober. At this time neither his family, or his girlfriend, would talk to him. He went to see his friend from college the next day. Talking to him helped, and he also started 12 weeks of IOP. Everyday he would ask himself, is this going to honor my father. He knew he had to make some changes and he firmly believes his father died to save his life.
[24:45] Once you surrendered, how did you make it one week, one month, how did you do it?
One day at a time. James says he was never a half-in guy, so once he decided to get sober, he dove in. He found the RE podcast, started reading a lot, went to AA, and was going to IOP and therapy 3 times a week. Very early he burned the ships with everyone, which he says was very therapeutic. He could finally breath and no longer had all the guilt and the shame.
[28:00] What was the transition from drinking/partying like you did, to the clean and sober life, like?
James said it was hard, but that it was almost like he was going back to the person he was the whole time, and it was a relief. In the last 6 months he shifted from playing the victim and feels he is becoming exactly who he is supposed to be.
[33:05] Talk to us about your year 1 and year 2 and the differences between the two.
James says he definitely had the classic pink cloud and felt great. At the end of year 1 he started to struggle a bit but after he hit the year mark, he felt rejuvenated. He booked the trip to Peru with Café RE and between months 13-15 things took another turn. Things felt dark and he was asking himself if this was what he got sober for. It was then he had a conversation with a friend, and with Paul, about ayahuasca and stayed in Peru to attend a ceremony. James says it wasn’t a magic bullet but that ayahuasca, hiking Machu Picchu, and getting married in October, is what changed his attitude about everything.
[35:15] On a group chat we were on you said one of the lessons you learned was that you no longer have to be the biggest guy in the room, talk to us about that. The first night, of the first ceremony he did, there was a gentleman there from New Zealand who was bigger than James. (Who is 6’3” and 220 pounds, which he had always identified himself by.) During the ceremony James was weeping and this gentleman came up behind him, put his arms around him, held him like a baby, and told him to just let it all out. It was at this time he let go of feeling like always had to me the biggest guy in the room. He was supposed to do 3 ceremonies but after the first one he told the shaman that he had gotten what he needed and didn’t do the remaining 2.
[39:30] Talk to us about Cardamone Coaching.
Even as a kid James knew he wanted to help people. Wanting to become a recovery coach was something he discussed with Paul while in Peru. He realized fear was what was holding him back and that that was all bullshit, so he got certified to be a recovery coach. His goal is to help people in recovery by using his own experience. James’ coaching website is: https://www.cardamonecoaching.com/ .
[45:06] I saw your registration come in for the Bozeman retreat, what are you looking forward to at this retreat?
Going back to Bozeman, it’s a change of pace from New York City. Seeing some of the same people and meeting new people. The retreats have changed James’ life.
[47:25] Rapid Fire Round
Continue doing what I’m doing, stay the course, one day at a time, and helping people.
Reading, I must have read 35 books in the last 2 ½ years, reading has really opened me up to different things.
It gets better and you never have to feel this way again if you don’t pick up a drink or a drug.
You are good enough .
If you get arrested outside of a nightclub with drugs in your pocket, a stolen credit card and no shoes on.
You can sign up for a FREE 5-day Recovery Elevator video course here.
Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about these events here Resources mentioned in this episode: Babbel This episode is brought to you by the language learning app Babbel and right now, my listeners can try Babbel for free. Download the app, or text Elevator to 48-48-48 Green Chef For $50 off your first order, go to www.greenchef.us/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.” | |||
| 19 Nov 2015 | Recovery Elevator Bonus Episode 1: Why I got Sober | 01:12:57 | |
Paul Joins Shane Ramer from that Sober Guy Podcast, Micheal from the UK and Omar the Shair Podcast and talk about why they got sober. | |||
| 17 Jun 2024 | RE 487: How Would You Walk? | 00:45:46 | |
Episode 487 – How Would You Walk?
Today we have Sarah. She is 45 and lives in Indiana. She took her last drink on December 31st, 2022.
Let’s talk AF International travel with Recovery Elevator. We’ve got some incredible trips in the works. We’re going to Vietnam for 12 days in January 2025. Then Back to Costa Rica for our 4th trip to the Blue Zone in April 2025, and then, we’re going back to Peru in October 2025 where we’re going to the Inca Trail and work with Non-profit Peruvian Hearts again.
[02:42] Thoughts from Paul:
The World Heart Federation published a policy brief in 2022 staying there is “no level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health.” There was and still is a collective belief that alcohol is good for you. This is especially prominent in the wine culture.
The paradigm is slowly cracking which is a huge step in the right direction. When Paul started Recovery Elevator in 2015, you couldn’t find that line anywhere. It was almost customary to see a line that says something like “studies show moderate alcohol consumption can improve heart health and longevity”. Today the tides are turning and a narrative that alcohol can wreck your world (aka, the truth) is emerging. People are waking up to the lies that Big Alcohol has sold us.
Check out this recent article about a new phenomenon called BORGS explains what these are and then follows it up with the snippet about alcohol being shit.
[09:18] Paul introduces Sarah:
Sarah is 45 and lives in Indiana. She is married with two kids and works in marketing. When she isn’t running the kids to their practices and games, she enjoys exercising, reading and backpacking.
Sarah parents divorced when she was 11 and she grew up with her mother who she was very close with. She doesn’t recall alcohol being very present in their lives. Sarah didn’t drink much in high school but in college and into her 20s, everything she and her friends did involved alcohol. She always knew her drinking looked a little different than everyone else’s, but didn’t identify it as a problem.
When Sarah was 35, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Sarah quit working so that she could care for her mother through the diagnosis. Her drinking increased as she dealt with being a caretaker, having a family in addition to not working.
After her mother died four years later, Sarah says she did not know how to deal with life. She would drink into a blackout almost daily and was stuck in the cycle of wanting to quit but not being able to. Sarah began to worry that it might not be possible for her and worried that she would disappoint her mother if she wasn’t able to quit.
In time, Sarah found sober podcasts and tried medications to help. She says Antabuse worked, but she would stop taking it in order to drink. No one knew she was taking it to try and quit and Sarah feels that by not sharing, she always left the door open to drink again.
Sarah knew something had to change and decided to come clean with her husband. Being active in the Café RE community helped Sarah gain the courage to choose a quit date and write a letter to her husband letting him know what was going on. Sarah says she received a lot of support from him.
After the physical withdrawals, Sarah felt hopeful. As the months went on, she protected her sobriety by avoiding situations where there was drinking, and she began to gain more confidence. Sarah says that when she has thoughts of drinking, she does chooses to put her energy into her sober resources instead.
Sarah’s best sober moment: experiencing the Northern Lights with her son
Sarah’s parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting.
[41:14] Outro:
Paul invites listeners to answer some questions not with words in their minds, but in how they carry themselves. How would you walk if…….?
Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.
Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys. | |||
| 22 Aug 2022 | RE 392: One Week Without Alcohol | 01:02:35 | |
Episode 392 - One Week Without Alcohol.
Today we have Megan. She is 34, from Florida, and has been sober since June 22, 2021.
Gruvi: https://www.getgruvi.com/
Highlights from Paul
Stacking days, which is a day here, and a couple of days there, is fantastic, but your body and mind will respond faster to continuous sobriety, and I think a week is the most doable chunk of time. I know for me, even 30 days was overwhelming.
Day 1: Drink water, then more water. Eat at least one full, healthy meal. Your body is detoxing today. Anxiety is part of this. Embrace the process. Remember the pain. Exercise will help with sleep. Sleep won't be great, and night sweats are expected. Expect cravings, and ice cream is your friend.
Day 2: Expect to be tired, exhausted, and anxious. Drink water, sleep, eat ice cream and worry about sugar later.
Day 3: Sleep should improve and welcome back appetite. Eat a healthy breakfast.
Day 4: Your body is healing. Drink water, sleep and eat (sugar does help with cravings.)
Day 5: What happened? You may be sleeping better, and you are hungry. Eat some healthy food and don't worry about calories. Your brain is coming back on, which has two sides: your cognition is better, and the thinking mind is on overdrive.
Day 6: Your confidence is building, and your energy begins to return. Inflammation begins to dissipate.
Day 7: Sleep! Cellular restoration. Mental clarity improves.
Tips for week one:
Drink plenty of water Exercise for at least 20 minutes. It gets endorphins going Eat at least one meal with healthy greens Put pen to paper and capture your insights Remember, it's a week and not forever.
Seven days is the start of the healing process. Your seven days await – go get 'em.
Paul describes PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esHLnz-BUXw&t=1s
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[15:40] Megan has been sober for over a year. She lives in Orlando, has two kids, is a social worker, and is getting a master's in criminal justice. She loves to travel and has been to 25 countries. She loves the beach, music, theater, working out, and theme parks.
Megan grew up in a conservative religious home with no alcohol in the house. Her grandfather was a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol was a big part of her family history, and Megan experienced a lot of generational trauma. Megan's father passed away when she was 15, and her childhood abruptly ended. Coincidentally she had her first drink that year.
Megan started using alcohol as a coping mechanism in her early twenties. Her marriage, work, and being a grown-up were a lot to manage. In 2021 she started working for a men's prison, which changed her life. Giving something back and witnessing other people's trauma helped her harness her inner strength. Megan was able to share her story and learned to adopt solid self-care practices. Slowly, she started to heal.
Today, Megan sees sobriety as a beautiful way to live, even if incarcerated. She credits the men at the prison with helping her to get sober. Her sobriety tools include self-care, Café RE, leveraging an accountability partner, focusing on the good in life, and great friends. Instagram: magicalsobermama
Kris's Summary
Together is always better. Kris just returned from the Bozeman retreat, and he loved getting to see all the participants.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| 20 Mar 2023 | RE 422: The Pursuit of Happiness | 01:04:51 | |
Episode 422 – The Pursuit of Happiness
Today we have Susannah. She is 42 from Hampshire, England, and took her last drink on 4/29/2022.
Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style event at the Marriott in Alpharetta on Sunday. This event is all about getting your connect on and it will be a fun time. Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend. Registration is open please click the link for more information.
We have partnered with Sober Link. You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code.
[03:09] Highlights from Paul:
Paul shares a blog post created by Odette regarding happiness in sobriety. He also shares his thoughts that sobriety does not equal happiness or solve all of our problems, but it does give us the chance to build a life where happiness knocks on the door more frequently. The school of sobriety is going to teach you the most important lessons of life. Love and acceptance. It will keep teaching you these lessons until you have accepted, that’s the lesson to learn.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[10:40] Kris introduces Susannah:
Susannah is about to celebrate 10 months of sobriety. She lives in the south of England; she is married, and they have three boys and two dogs. She works in luxury concierge. In her free time, she enjoys walking and is looking forward to expanding her garden this year.
Susannah grew up as the youngest of 3 kids. Her parents drank socially but she was never exposed to any kind of alcohol abuse. When she was young, she was sent to boarding school. She was exposed to alcohol when she was around 13 but had no interest in it, in fact she was very against drinking at that time. It wasn’t until she was 16 that she started socially drinking at pubs with friends, but it wasn’t an issue she feels.
Her mother died suddenly when Susannah was 22. Her and her mother were very close, so she was feeling quite isolated and alone after this loss. A few years later Susannah was in Thailand when the tsunami hit. These events had her questioning “why me?” and she thinks that they contributed to some of her attention seeking behavior and participation in toxic relationships. She doesn’t feel that she was using drinking to cope at this point in time but was not dealing with the traumas very well.
When she was in her early thirties, she got pregnant. She found pregnancy to be very difficult for her but didn’t have trouble quitting drinking during these times. She had several medical issues happen which caused her first child to be born early which was scary for her.
After her second child her drinking started to increase. The drinking events coming more and more frequently whether they were over bad things or celebratory things.
Susannah says she was able to stop drinking for periods of time but never with the goal of quitting completely. She tried to seek help but was told she should try medication or taking vitamins. Since she functioned well on the outside no one believed she had a problem. She kept trying to moderate, but it never worked.
After a terrible hangover that had her sick at an event in her village the next day she decided to go to AA. She met the woman who is now her sponsor at that first meeting and with a hug from her, she finally felt the relief that she was in the right place.
After about four or five months of sobriety, she feels things has shifted. She has learned so much about herself and has start dealing with all of her traumas. She is better as a wife and mother and feels she performs better at work.
[01:02:31] Kris’ Outro:
The beauty of recovery are the chances that keep showing up to put the healing we have done to good work. What’s happened in your life that you wouldn’t have expected if you were still drinking?
Connect with Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
The only way out is through I love you guys
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| 16 Mar 2020 | RE 265: The Strategy of the Comfort Zone | 01:00:19 | |
Janine took her last drink on October 6, 2019. This is her story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today’s episode, Paul talks about your comfort zone, why it’s important to have one, why it is so important to get outside of it, and how it is possible to get too far out of it. The true authentic you doesn’t exist in your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone even once, makes it easier that you’ll do it again. As for ditching the booze, here are some strategies in regards to the comfort zone. Instead of quitting forever, aim for one day, or 50% of the days in a month. Burning the ships? Go at your own pace. 90 meetings in 90 days too much, aim for 1 a week, then 2 a week.
[20:00] Paul introduces Janine.
Janine is 32 years old and is from Pensacola, FL. She is married and has a 9-month-old daughter. Janine is a former kindergarten teacher. For fun she likes to go to the beach with her family, walking her dog and spending time with her daughter.
[24:00] Give us a background on your drinking.
Janine took her first drink when she was 17-years-old and she immediately loved the feeling it gave her. Through college she feels she drank like every other college student. Janine says her drinking didn’t take off until she started her teaching career, and that gradually over the years she was drinking more and more.
When she met her husband, and knew that it was something serious, she says she knew that she was going to have to do something about her drinking.
[26:45] Talk to us about the methods you used to try and control your drinking.
Janine said she tried them all. Switched from liquor to wine/beer. Still getting backout drunk after switching to wine she tried drinking a glass of water after every glass of wine. Not drinking during the week, but even when that worked, she was still getting blackout drunk all weekend.
[28:15] Was there a time when fear came in and you didn’t think you could stop?
Janine said yes, that that is exactly what happened.
[30:30] Can you tell us a little about postpartum depression?
Janine said for her she felt like she lost some of her identity, her whole life now revolved around another human being. She had days when she would look in the mirror and not even recognize herself. Her emotions were all over the place. Janine ended up going to her doctor and getting on antidepressants, but was still drinking.
[35:00] Tell us what happened next.
After trying to modify, by having no alcohol in the house, Janine said she went and bought 2 bottles of wine and drank them one night after the baby was in bed. She got blackout drunk, sent strange texts, and spent the next day crying and filled with anxiety. She couldn’t deny it anymore, she knew she had a problem and couldn’t control it.
Later that day her dad, a recovering alcoholic himself, called Janine. She says his first words were, “I just felt I needed to call and hear your voice.”. Janine said she just lost it and opened up to him for the first time.
[40:30] What was that first AA meeting like and what happened after that?
Janine said she was terrified to go that first meeting, but that after the meeting people came up and were very friendly. She said she was also comforted by the fact that there were other teachers there. She was still feeling like her life was over that first week.
[44:14] Was there a challenging moment when you wanted to drink, and how did you get past it?
Janine said she had several in the beginning. She said when those times came up, she would call a friend, or call her sponsor.
[45:25] How has the relationship with your husband changed?
Janine says her husband fully supports her and has also quit drinking. She feels like their relationship has gotten a lot deeper.
[54:30] Rapid Fire Round
I would say when I made that last attempt to control my drinking by not having alcohol in my house
Spending my daughter’s 1st Christmas completely sober.
I am a big fan of water.
I enjoy this podcast; I don’t get to attend AA meetings as much as I would like but I also enjoy reading.
I am actually thinking about taking up blogging.
If you know in your heart that you can’t control your drinking anymore, don’t listen to the lies that your mind is telling you.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
You get blackout drunk while watching Dateline.
Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this.”
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| 21 Dec 2015 | 044: Is Alcoholism a Disability? According to Former USC Head Football Coach it is. | 00:44:40 | |
33 year old Autumn, explains how she has been a successful student and a mom in sobriety. According to an article from the Los Angeles Times, Steve Sarkisian is suing former employer University of California for improper dismissal when he was recently fired as Head Football coach due to his drinking problem. Coach Sarkisian is seeking monies of $30,000,000, which he feels is properly owed to him due to California state laws.
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| 22 Mar 2021 | RE 318: Unexpected Perks of Sobriety | 00:56:20 | |
Episode 318 - No matter what comes your way, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. So, live with it, don’t try to change it and do the next right thing.
Tony took his last drink on October 24, 2020. He is a 42-year-old Canadian. This is his story of living alcohol-free (AF)
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message
Recently Odette has been asking listeners, what is a perk of getting sober? The answers have included, no hangovers, improved sleep, wallet and overall health.
Odette also asked listeners about the ripple effect, the not so obvious outcomes of living AF. The responses included:
Sobriety tools become life tools that help us become better versions of ourselves. Odette is more forgiving of herself and others. Her standards, for herself and others have changed. She is less of a perfectionist. She has more grace toward herself and others. She is more connected to her humanity and doing her best, day by day. She says what she really means, vs what she thinks she needs to say. She is okay with not being liked by everyone and aware of her tendency to be a people pleaser.
What are your unexpected perks of sobriety?
[8:50] Odette introduces Tony.
Tony took his last drink on October 24, 2020. He is from St. Paul, Alberta, Canada. Has 3 children: a son (18), a daughter (15), a daughter (10) and a stepson (23). He is currently a full-time student since his career came to a halt when he entered rehab last year. Tony enjoys anything outdoors, particularly tobogganing, snowboarding, skiing …anything outside. He is currently separated from his wife.
[12:34] Tell us about your history with drinking.
Tony lost Mom when he was 13 in a tragic car accident. His first drink was shortly after that and by15 he remembers getting blackout drunk. Drinking made him feel bullet-proof. It helped him avoid the pain of grief.
He did well in school, he was an honors student. After graduating from high school, he followed his Dad’s working on the road. He would binge drink occasionally. He got into the oilfield business. He said, you earn a lot of money, work hard and play hard. When he was on the road, he and his colleagues would party. His drinking was normalized because everyone did it. He and his high school girlfriend had a son.
When he returned home, his drinking was chaotic. He drank more, passed out regularly. His drinking felt normalized, because everyone was doing it.
His Dad offered him a job as a crew supervisor. He was trying to taper his drinking because his son was around, and his daughter was on the way. As he went into management he isolated more, which led to drinking when he got back to his hotel. He would average 5-6 beers a night.
He also began engaging with other women while he was on the road. He got caught and within four months, his girlfriend was done with him. He immediately jumped into another relationship; it was perfect because they both drank to excess. His drinking continued to escalate.
[18:02] You have mentioned your drinking was normalized. Did you have conversations with yourself about your drinking?
Tony said he believed his behavior was normal. He followed his father’s example. He saw his Dad as the best Dad in the world, his Dad never brought his problems home or drank after work. Tony went to more extremes than his father. He needed the alcohol to feel normal.
[19:46] How did your relationship unfold?
Tony was married within seven months and he got married to spite his first girlfriend who was the mother of his first two children. They welcomed a child after a year. Within 14 months, his wife asked for a divorce. He entered a 12-step program to save his marriage, but it about saving the relationship, not his own development. His wife filed for divorce and he went back to work on the drilling rigs. He went home and his doctor started him on Ativan. He drove home, blacked out and was in a head on collision with a semi-truck. He lost his arm in that accident. His wife never came to the hospital. He was devastated, but his drinking ramped up.
Tony started looking for a relationship, drinking 5 night a week, trying to rehabilitate after losing his arm and he was offered a job with his Dad’s company. His drinking continued to escalate, and he started losing days. On the surface he was highly functioning, making lots of money. He didn’t think his drinking was a problem.
[23:52] How was your heart feeling? Did you enjoy drinking?
Tony said he was transitioning from enjoying drinking, but once he was intoxicated, he was going through the motions. Most of his happiness was just pretending. He also realized his arm was never going to grow back. He gave up on life. Within two years, he met his current wife and they really hit it off. He was honest about his journey and he was happy initially. His co-dependency continued to emerge. He proposed and got married. His drinking slowed down, but he wasn’t happy with his life, his promotions, his income, his car, nothing was ever enough. A friend invited him and his wife to a music festival and Tony let loose. After that, his drinking ramped up. He was the life of the party and everything felt real again. He got a job working for the government so he could be home. The money wasn’t great, and he started drinking every night in the garage. He often fell asleep in the garage. The alcohol stopped working, so he started smoking marijuana. Marijuana became a pattern, but within 5 months it stopped working. He started doing hard drugs, specifically cocaine.
He recognized in 2019 that he needed to go to rehab because he was addicted to cocaine. He hid his cocaine addiction well from his family. He discussed it with his wife and went to a treatment center in January of 2020 with the intention of getting clean and saving his family. Upon discharge, he worked his program and got a sponsor. He returned to work and within 45 days he relapsed. He went to Fort McMurray (a hot bed for addiction) and when he returned home, he picked a fight with his wife, drank 40 ounces of Scotch, destroyed the house and had suicidal ideations. He had a plan to kill himself with heroin but was pulled over by the Royal Canadian police and woke up in a jail cell. While in jail, he had chest pains and was hospitalized. The doctor advised he was having an allergic reaction to the alcohol. After he was released, he lost his job. Tony continued to have suicidal ideations. He asked his son to take him to the hospital and he was admitted to the psych ward and was sent to a treatment facility. He opened up and got honest. After he was released, he decided to go back to school. He moved to BC, enjoyed school, isolated himself and relapsed.
On October 23rd, he took his last drink/drug. He had a gun on one side and a phone with his sponsor’s number on the other side. Within a few hours, he called his sponsor and began working his program and the steps. He now lives in Medicine Hat and he says every time he tells his story, it gets a little bit lighter.
[37:03]. What has been the contributing factor to your resilience?
Tony said his resilience comes from his Dad. His Dad is his hero; he always gets up after he falls down. He quit drinking and never picked up again. He made it through many challenges and helped Tony to realize who he is.
Tony has pushed his Dad away several times which he attributes to addiction.
[39:34] You have said that your life is re-starting, does that give you hope?
Tony said that in the last 75 days he has never been happier. He had lots of time not drinking before, but he wasn’t working a program. He is so glad he never picked up that gun and he his son are now best friends.
Tony is proud that he has been able to put the substances down and rebuild his life.
[41:18]. Tell me how your body has responded to sobriety?
Tony said he was fortunate because he detoxed before going to treatment. He never went on benders, so the physical detox wasn’t terrible (the cold sweats, shakes, etc.). In sobriety, he lost 20 pounds, he is hiking and tries not to beat his body up. He tries to get good sleep and helps his body and feels amazing.
[43:54]. Tell me about your spirit. How have you healed emotionally?
Tony has two sponsors (NA and AA). He speaks with one for 30 minutes minimum, daily. He also talks to another addict or alcoholic daily. He believes it is important to stay connected. He goes to AA and NA meetings. He sees a therapist once a month and a trauma counselor once a month.
His sponsor has told him, no matter where you are, it’s where you are supposed to be. Deal with it, don’t try to change it and do the next right thing.
[48:18]. Rapid Fire Round
Completing my schooling so I can enroll in an additions counseling program.
Don’t give up on yourself. You will have bad days, but there are more good ones.
Vanilla with chocolate syrup and sprinkles.
Yes, but I prefer McDonald’s coffee.
No matter what you are not alone. Give those that reach out to help you a chance. Let them love you until you can love yourself.
You might need to Ditch the Booze if ….
You are drinking Jack Daniels and Coke out of your prosthetic arm.
Odette’s Weekly Challenge
Odette continues to find unexpected joys in being sober. She is learning to slow down. While she still has a full plate, she isn’t looking for extra things to fill up her time. She likes herself, so she doesn’t have to hide anymore. She chases the pauses and feels her feelings instead of chasing the highs. She knows she is not perfect and has learned to appreciate her progress.
Remember you are not alone and together is always better. This journey is full of unexpected surprises. Enjoy the ride!
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”
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| 14 Sep 2015 | 030: Paul makes 1 year of sobriety and shares his story: Part 1 | 01:11:51 | |
Also in this episode, Jon shares how he reached 103 days of sobriety without AA or a 12 step program. He does however, have his own program in place. | |||
| 05 Mar 2018 | RE 159: I'm Breaking Up With the Word Alcoholic... Again | 00:46:45 | |
“Enhanced Dopamine Receptors” or EDR
SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul Introduces Jim. [12:37] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol? [14:30] Are you viewing it as a permanent decision? [16:10] Did you try to regulate your drinking in any way? [19:40] Did you hit rock bottom? [20:55] Were those emotions the reason you quit drinking? [23:04] What were your repeated Day 1's like and how did you break the cycle? [27:04] How did you break the hamster wheel? [28:50] How do you deal with cravings? [32:30] What is your proudest moment in sobriety? [36:25] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: This podcast episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator to post jobs for free. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 07 Sep 2015 | 029: Why you can't stop drinking after you take that first drink | 00:41:13 | |
Jeff has been sober since 2013 and he shares how he made that dream a reality. | |||
| 18 Feb 2019 | RE 209: 4 Themes From 4 Years of Podcasting | 00:53:05 | |
Bill, with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018, shares her story. We want to thank Mike Noll for his commitment to doing the podcast show notes for the previous 35 episodes and welcome Kerri, from California, to the position, who will take over doing the next 26 episodes. We still have a couple spots left for our Nashville event coming up this February 22 – 24. Registration for Bozeman Retreat will open up on March 1, and registration for our Asia Adventure will open up on July 1. You can find more information about events here Paul shares the news he is writing a book, which he hopes to launch by July 1. As that date gets closer, he will be asking for volunteers to be part of the launch team so be on the lookout for that opportunity if that is something you would like to be a part of. After doing something long enough some trends start to appear. In Ep. 52, after 1 year of podcasting, Paul did a summery of what he learned during the 1st year. In this episode he will cover the 4 themes that people successful in sobriety have fully embraced.
SHOW NOTES
[10:15] Paul Introduces Bill.
Bill, with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018, is 49 years old and is from northern New Jersey. He does investment research for an insurance company. Bill has been married for a little over 20 years and has two kids. Bill finds fun in outdoor activities such as camping and fishing.
[12:56] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Bill started drinking at an early age and drank all throughout college and through his 20s. He got married, finished grad school, their daughter was born, and things seemed fine. Although he was drinking during this time there was nothing significant that made him feel as if he had an alcohol problem. His son was born in 2005 and there were complications. They soon realized his son was not meeting his milestones or developing like their daughter had. When his son was 14/15 mos. old, after watching a Home Improvement episode about a family with 4 autistic children, they just knew what their son’s problem was. The day that the doctor confirmed their fears is the day that Tom feels he became an alcoholic. That was in 2006 and when the progression started.
[18:53] When did you decide you needed to evaluate your alcohol consumption?
Things started to unravel for Bill in April of 2017. After a mini-breakdown and a call to a sister, who called their father, an intervention was set up. He started seeing a counselor who was the only person he was honest with, including himself. At this time, he was not drinking, but white knuckling it. By May he was drinking again. He tried moderation and no matter what he tried it always failed.
Fast forward to October 8, 2018, at the gym Bill pulls up podcasts, types in alcohol addiction and finds the RE podcast for the first time.
[29:30] When did you finally get honest with yourself?
The point of surrender was driving home the evening of Sunday, October 7th. He finally said he had had enough.
[32:34] Who are the first 3 people you ”burned the ships” with?
The first person he told was his best friend. The second person he told was his cousin, who actually confronted him about his drinking. The third person was the most difficult. That was his wife and that was just two weeks ago.
[38:36] Back to October 8, what were the things you put in place to get you to 90 days?
The first few weeks he broke his days into 3 parts, the mornings, the afternoons, and the evenings. All he was wanting to do was make it through the day to make it to bed. The biggest differentiator is instead of pushing the cravings away he acknowledges them.
[43:00] Talk to us about the progress you have made in accepting your son for who he is.
He has gone from the feelings knowing that his son wasn’t going to be the baseball star to now recognizing the potential he does have. His son has made great strides. He tries to live in the present and not look too far into the future and celebrates his son’s accomplishments daily.
[46:00] Rapid Fire Round
When his daughter wanted to watch the first Star Wars with him one Sunday night and he drank so many Vodka Cranberries during the day that he got violently ill after the 1st five minutes of the movie.
The mini-breakdown I had in April 2017.
Reminding myself that I need to make progress each week and I can’t be complacent.
Recovery Elevator podcasts.
Burn the ships.
Alcohol is but a symptom.
Your 14 year old daughter says to you, at 10:45 in the morning, “Hey Dad, aren’t ya hitting the bottle a little too early?”, and you simply ignore her and walk away with the glass of wine in your hand.
Upcoming retreats: Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019 Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode: Blinkist This episode is brought to you in support by Blinkist. Right now, my listeners can try Blinkist for free. Visit blinkist.com/elevator for your seven day free trial. Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside.”
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| 14 Dec 2020 | RE 304: You’re Asking Yourself the Wrong Question. | 00:50:58 | |
Kyle took his last drink on May 31 2020. With 82 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We’ll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We’ve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link.
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
Sometimes we get stuck. When Odette gets stuck, she repeats this simple phrase to herself. “Please help me see things differently.” Being shown the same scenario through a different lens helps to shift the perspective. Different questions help to see things in a new way and get unstuck. If you’re feeling stuck are you asking yourself the wrong questions?
[7:44] Odette introduces Kyle.
Kyle is 33 years old and from Michigan. He is married and has three young daughters. He works in the automotive industry as a program manager. For fun he’s been planning the future with his wife, he also likes gaming and running.
[10:49] Can you give listeners some background on your story?
Kyle said the first time he got drunk was when he was 14, but he didn’t notice a change in his drinking until he was in his 20s. He was taking on a lot at the time and failing a lot at things. He looked to beer to take the edge off which turned into drinking to black out every night. He tried quitting many times and this stretch is the longest he’s gone in 10 years.
[13:37] When did you notice you were using alcohol to cope?
Kyle said he realized this subconsciously early on but was trying to quit on willpower alone. He figured out the price for alcohol and the euphoria it brought was higher than he was willing to pay. Alcohol stopped being enjoyable at the end because he was just chasing something.
[17:25] What happened when you returned from Japan and you realized you couldn’t shake it?
Kyle said rock bottom wasn’t one individual thing. He realized he was letting his wife and kids down often. He would wake up ashamed. During a conversation with his wife, she mentioned a friend who worked with people with addiction issues. Kyle was given some reference material. He found other like-minded people and that’s really what helped him.
[21:23] Tell me about your attempts to stop drinking.
Kyle said he feels like he’s been in a fog for the last 10 years. He had a lot of vision and no energy. Every time he woke up and swore off alcohol, but 3 pm that day he was ready to drink. There was a lot of mental back and forth he experienced. He sees now that was only will power without understanding the science behind it.
[23:23] What was your mental headspace when you were trying to quit?
Kyle said he lacked a lot of self love, so he was frustrated with himself all the time. He had a good façade and came off as confident, but he wasn’t the person he wanted to be internally.
[24:15] How has this time been different for you?
Kyle said he is seeking help. Also, his family is a big influence about getting sober. He knows he will be there for them.
[25:16] What do you do when you get a craving?
Kyle said he sits with it and he thinks about the morning after, his future and what the drink can lead to.
[27:30] How has staying away from alcohol affected your anxiety & depression?
Kyle said it’s still there, but it’s not as severe. He now knows that drinking wont erase them and he deals with them.
[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?
Kyle said it’s mainly juggling his career and his family.
[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?
Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs
[30:10] Do you have any rituals in place to help you deal with cravings?
Kyle said he likes to keep his hands busy. He does see he’s more focused on the things he loves.
[37:16] Have you noticed a difference in your relationship with your wife?
Kyle said his wife really let him do what he needed and didn’t get in the way of him discovering his own path to sobriety. He has thanked her for letting him discover sobriety in his own way.
[41:20] Do you have any specific routines during the day / morning routine?
Kyle said he used to but now not really. He does try to find time to exercise because it’s a stress release. If he has extra time, read a book.
[43:43] Have you noticed your sleep has improved?
Kyle said living away from alcohol has improved his sleep. He used to drink to knock himself out. He’s noticed it’s much better now.
[44:43] Rapid Fire Round
Show yourself a little self love and try to understand the science behind why you drink.
Coffee, he’s trying to find a good energy drink.
If you haven’t tried it and you’re thinking about it, just try it. Try to understand it.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
you mention this question to your wife because you’re struggling to come up with an answer and she gives you a list of ten.
Odette’s parting words:
Thank you. After many day 1s, she’s celebrating 2 years sober this week.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – Everything that you need is already inside of you- I love you guys” | |||
| 07 Aug 2023 | RE 442: Time to Breathe | 00:58:24 | |
Episode 442 – Time to Breathe
Today we have Jeff, he is 35 from Salt Lake City, UT and had his last drink on April 6th, 2023.
Shout out to the Café RE chat hosts. Thank you for continuing to hold space for our community and for creating an environment where we can come together and heal.
Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.
[03:46] Highlights from Kris:
Kris finds sober anniversaries a good opportunity to reflect on where he was and where he is today. He asks himself questions such as “What have I gone through? How have I been able to meet the challenges placed in front of me? Am I moving in the direction I want to in my life?”
In active addiction Kris was not able to show love to himself. He knew that the things he was doing were hurting other people and himself. He knew his wife, kids, parents, and friends all loved him, but he couldn’t let the love in. He was stuck in the loop of “I’m not enough, I’ve screwed up too much, I deserve to feel this way.”
If you’re listening, and you’re there today, know that you are not alone. Many of us have been there and know how hard it is.
We don’t have to be perfect RE… that’s never going to happen. All we have to be is willing. We have to be willing to be honest with where we are today. Without judgement, where are things in our life right now? What is the next right thing to step into our new future? Where can we find support? Don’t worry about trying to resolve every issue in your life all at once. Just take little bites.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[09:40] Kris introduces Jeff:
At the time of recording, Jeff is celebrating 90 days of sobriety and plans to celebrate with cacao. He is 35 and lives in Salt Lake City with his wife and two dogs. For fun Jeff enjoys mountain biking, skiing, running, and music is a big part of his life.
Growing up, alcohol was always present at celebrations hosted by his parents and their friends. It was normal for him to see people drink to excess. Jeff’s first drink was when he was 16 with some friends and stolen rum. Early on he recognized that his drinking was different than other people’s. On the outside, he was successful at school but was suffering from depression that alcohol helped him escape from.
After high school Jeff went to the east coast to play hockey for two years. This required a lot of discipline, so Jeff’s drinking was limited to one day each week. He never moderated and usually ended up blacking out.
When Jeff turned 20, he started college where he played hockey and studied engineering. During his freshman year he got a bad concussion and struggled a lot with the side effects afterwards. He initially used drinking to self-medicate the side effects but drinking started to become the answer to everything.
After college Jeff moved back to Alaska for a job. He had his own place with two roommates who he frequently drank with late into the night. He was able to keep up with work and other activities so in spite of some health consequences, he didn’t feel he had a problem.
Jeff started questioning his drinking after he caught himself drinking and driving frequently. He found Allen Carr’s book and was able to stop drinking for 11 days. Since then, he has been in the cycle of quitting and then starting back with different lengths of time between drinks.
Therapy has been helpful for Jeff over the last three years and his wife has been very supportive. Connection has become very important to him.
Jeff’s plan in recovery moving forward: moving forward with integrity and owning who he is.
Jeff’s parting piece(s) of guidance: it’s ok if you think this is hard because it is hard. Even just listening to this podcast is a huge win. Recovery is not a straight line.
Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee
Recovery Elevator You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
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| 06 Jun 2022 | RE 381: We're All Addicted to Something | 00:50:52 | |
Episode 381– We are all addicted to something
Today we have Amy. She is 39, from Canada, and took her last drink on August 21, 2016
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about a book he is reading called, The Urge. It's about an Indian in the Seneca Tribe named Handsome Lake. He developed a program similar to AA about 150 years before Bill W and Dr. Bob created AA. Connection pulled people out of addiction. The Urge: https://amzn.to/37KVS3Y
Paul describes an experience at a Sauna in the hot springs where a group of men started talking about addiction. It began with one man sharing that he had ten years without a drink and moved to Montana for a fresh start. After he burned the ships, the other men in the sauna talked about their struggle to control substances beyond alcohol and drugs. When one person opens up and shares from the heart, it gives others a safe space to do the same.
Paul reminds us: 1) It's a challenging universe to live in; 2) we are all addicts trying to survive, and 3) we all need help. Continue exploring coping strategies, and you will find the ones that work for you.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[10:55] Amy has been sober for six years. She is from Toronto, Canada, and works as a sobriety and mindset coach. She loves reading, cycling, traveling, cross stitching, is single, queer, and has a cat.
Amy started drinking at 16 and grew up in a family dealing with addiction. Alcohol relieved Amy from the trauma and complication of her parent's separation and divorce. She was hiding alcohol and drinking alone very early into her drinking. The volume and frequency of her drinking progressed rapidly, and she was prone to blackouts. Externally she was high functioning. Internally, she struggled quite a bit.
Amy was overcome with grief after her dad's sudden death, and her drinking escalated to cope with her volatile emotions. She achieved six months of consecutive sobriety and committed to being done with drinking. Her first attempts included moderation, rewards, and bargaining, which continued for a year. In 2015, questions started to emerge for Amy, forcing her to examine her drinking.
Amy became a coach and learned to share her story more publicly. She now helps other women create change for themselves. She has taken her life and her power back. Breaking the cycle of addiction has been very empowering for Amy. Compassion and sadness have become her primary emotions. Compassion for her father and sadness for what she went through and what might have been had her childhood been more stable.
Small steps, habit stacking, and new habits created momentum for Amy. Committing to making real change, even with discomfort and struggle, helped Amy to stack days. She began to follow other sober women on Instagram, which made her feel hopeful. Learning about addiction and alcohol, from biology to mental health, helped Amy strengthen her commitment to abstinence. She avoided events, social situations, and people who created a risk to her sobriety. She shifted her priorities to change her life. Find Amy on Instagram @MsAmyCWillis and Holandwell.com.
Odette's Summary
Odette discusses non-scale victories and tiny wins that are difficult to measure. She encourages listeners to be mindful of those small victories that snowball into meaningful momentum.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –please believe in yourself. I believe in you. I love you guys. | |||
| 05 Dec 2022 | RE 407: A Message to Big Alcohol | 00:51:51 | |
Episode 407 – A Message to Big Alcohol
Today we have Jeff, 48, from Joplin Missouri with 13 days of sobriety at time of recording
Registration for Restore opens December 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
Highlights from Paul
For the first time in this podcast, Paul speaks to Big Alcohol. Why now? We have a limited time together on each episode he has felt that discussing how to live a better life without the stuff is better use of our time.
He addresses the fact that Big Alcohol’s greatest customers are the alcoholic/problem drinkers and not the “normal” drinker that has one or two beers and the rest sits in the fridge for months. They are also responsible for perpetuating the myth that alcohol consumption is good for you. Spoiler alert: it’s not. The Huberman Lab Podcast has an episode that dives deep into the effects alcohol has on the brain/body. (https://hubermanlab.com/what-alcohol-does-to-your-body-brain-health)
The amount of trash that can be found on the sides of the road is about a 10/1 ratio alcohol related vs. non-alcohol related. Paul asks if Big Alcohol is ok with the remnants of their product being strewn all over the planet via human wreckage and excessive trash.
Paul clarifies that his goal is to not fight with Big Alcohol. His battle with alcohol and alcoholism made him who he is today, and he appreciates that. But maybe they would be willing to share just a half of a percentage point of their marketing budget to help us clean up the mess their product has created both on humans and on our planet. We’d be interested to collaborate on our next service project. You can reach us at info@recoveryelevator.com
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[10:59] Jeff lives in Joplin, MO currently, but grew up in NC. He has a wife and three children aged 6, 4 and 8 months. He recently started his own business and enjoys golf, reading, creative writing and poetry, and writing and playing music.
Jeff took his first drink with a friend at home when he was 17. He remembers the occasional drink at a party in high school but didn’t really start drinking until he turned 21. Through his 20’s drinking was part of life. He was able to cut back or quit drinking whenever he felt it was getting to be too much.
Jeff says he didn’t have a true rock bottom moment but after an incident that found him ramping up his drinking, he chose to seek some counseling for PTSD. He started to realize that the way he had been drinking and handling life was becoming unsustainable. He wants to be present for his family and didn’t feel that he was able to enjoy life while drinking.
Jeff found himself going to his first AA meeting in many years 13 days ago, has found a sponsor and attends meetings daily. He has been staying busy with home projects and acts of service and feels that working with his hands relieves stress and helps him avoid getting lost in negative thought patterns.
Jeff doesn’t have a long-term goal in sobriety, he is just taking it day by day. Right now, he just wants to be sober and process his emotions without alcohol and enjoy his family and the life he has built.
[47:57] Paul’s Summary
Socrates said the secret to change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new. Mother Teresa said she would not participate in wars on hunger or on terrorism because there is an equal amount of disproportionate energy on the other side. Much like we have seen with the war on drugs: trillions of dollars wasted to learn that you cannot punish addiction out of people. If someone from Big Alcohol is listening, please don’t feel attacked, we want to work together in cleaning up the planet.
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator This isn’t a no to alcohol, but a yes to a better life. I love you guys
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| 30 Apr 2018 | RE 167: Now This is Just Plain Wrong | 00:49:39 | |
The alcohol industry gives the government funds to prove light drinking is safe. Daniel, with 128 days since his last drink, shares his story...
SHOW NOTES
[10:37] Paul Introduces Daniel.
[14:10] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking?
[18:15] Talk to us about the 20 years you were drinking.
[20:28] When did you first attempt to quit?
[21:10] Did you experience a rock bottom? Did you have a faulty off switch?
[26:30] Tell us about your experience with the incredibly short memory (ISM).
[28:33] What inspired you to quit, most recently?
[32:02] What were your first 30 days like? How did you deal with cravings?
[34:10] What is a typical day in your recovery? How have you made it to 128 days? [41:10] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: LINK TO STUDY ARTICLE Recovery – A book by Russell Brand Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 31 Aug 2015 | 028: 5 Ways to Avoid Relapse | 27 year old Hollie shares her story in sobriety | 00:37:25 | |
27 year old Hollie shares her story in sobriety | |||
| 31 May 2021 | RE 328: F is for Fear | 00:53:00 | |
Episode 328 – the quality of my relationships with other people in the world is limited by the quality of my relationship with myself.
Adam took his last drink on December 13, 2019. He is from Massachusetts, and he is 37 years old. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF).
Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way.
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.
Odette spoke about early sobriety and thought shifts. Early sobriety can be exhausting because your body is resetting, and your thoughts are playing tug-o-war. You have permission to be tired in early recovery. The mental work is exhausting. Odette referenced Melody Beattie and the Language of Letting Go. Letting go of fear is at the core of codependency. Fear can help you protect yourself. In recovery, waving goodbye to fear allows you to embrace safety, trust, peace, and acceptance. Pay attention to healthy fears and let go of the rest. We can trust and love ourselves.
Sometimes what is best for us feels wrong. We oversee letting go of what doesn’t serve us anymore. Peace begins within you.
[8:15] Odette introduces Adam
Adam took his last drink on December 13, 2019. He lives in Western Massachusetts with his wife and two young children. He is a lawyer. He loves running, hiking, reading, and playing with his two girls.
[9:51] Tell us about your history with drinking?
Adam said his first love was marijuana. He smoked during high school. His mother died suddenly when he was in college. He stopped smoking pot when he went to law school due to the conflict with legality. Slowly alcohol crept into his life. After a few years, he muted his feelings and pressures at work with alcohol. He quickly started moderating. He moved to Massachusetts and intended to stop drinking, but he was isolated, and his drinking escalated.
[12:28] What was your mindset around alcohol?
Adam said for him it was always numbing. He liked to drink alone. He struggled with family issues including shame, vulnerability, and food issues. He took on some of the behaviors he saw in his family.
[14:00] Did You have food issues as well?
Adam said he did struggle with weight as well. In junior year of high school, he lost 70 pounds. He loves running and that has helped him manage his emotions. He has been choosing mediation in the past year.
[15:21] How did your drinking evolve?
Adam said by 2014, he went to his first AA meeting. He spoke to his therapist about drinking, but he wasn’t ready to deal with it. He developed a pattern of lying about his drinking and he would get caught. He tried to control his drinking by buying nips.
He wanted a state of numbness without heavy consequences. He described an out of body experience about starting to drink and drive and hide bottles before he got home.
[17:45] Was your shame progressing?
Adam said it was terrible. He felt like a total failure. He was taking risks, putting his daughter in danger. The weight of the shame was huge.
Things came to a head when his wife was pregnant with their second child. He recalled lying about sobriety time and taking coins for a year of sobriety when he hadn’t achieved it. He brought the coins into the meeting and told them he had lied. He was accepted, given hugs and it opened the door for him to transition from shame to guilt. He was still drinking and hiding. Anticipating coping with a newborn prompted him to ask for a bigger level of help. He went to rehab to get well.
[22:51] Did returning the coins change how you approached drinking?
Adam said it opened the door to imperfection. He read “the Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown. He learned that the quality of relationships with other people in this world were limited by his relationship with himself. If he couldn’t learn to love himself, his relationship with his wife would suffer. He knew he needed to take 30 days away to have the space and room to learn to love himself.
[24:58] How were things when you returned home?
Adam has found freedom from his self-imposed “control” cage. When he returned home, he had a lot of trust to rebuild. He spent 15 hours a day changing his mindset while in rehab. When he returned home, he realized life went on. In the beginning he resisted several things. His wife asked him to put a breathalyzer in the car because she was concerned about him driving the children while intoxicated. Today he embraces that completely, but at the time his ego resisted the suggestion. He had to learn to ask for advice versus selling his excuses to others. He and his family have been safe for over a year. He has rebuilt trust and freedom with his family.
[30:53] How were the first few months?
Adam said he had very few cravings. He is active in AA. He attends four virtual meetings a week. He belongs to a gratitude group and shares three things he is grateful for every day.
[32:55] What role does exercise play in your recovery?
Adam ran when he was drinking. He works out now. He uses the peloton app and looks forward to running when the weather improves.
[33:39] Tell me about your meditation practice.
Adam dabbled in meditation for a while. In treatment, he focused on developing a meditation practice. He embraced the mantra, “I am worthy of receiving all of the love the universe has for me.”
He had some life changing moments with meditation, mantras and breathwork. Things just clicked. Adam meditates daily for a minimum of ten minutes. He loves how he can change how his body feels just by breathing. He knows it is worth it to try new things and invest in himself. Willingness is critical for him.
[37:55] How have your relationships evolved in recovery?
Adam referenced AA’s promises and said he could not have designed what his life is like now. He wakes up after disjointed sleep and realizes how lucky he is to experience his daughters. The last year (COVID) has been a gift with a new child, homeschooling, juggling careers and has helped his marriage.
[40:51] Is parenting triggering for you?
Adam said he doesn’t want to drink, but he often wants to escape. He leverages meditation to help him overcome those temporary challenges of parenting.
[42:44] What is your response when someone offers you a drink?
Adam feels very comfortable. He brings his own drink anytime he goes out, so he doesn’t risk having to look around for something.
His wife had a glass of wine after a year of not drinking (due to pregnancy) and didn’t like how she felt. She is joining Adam to be alcohol free.
The only thing Adam misses is the escape.
[46:33] What is something unexpected that has happened during your journey?
Adam said he experiences more joy daily than he thought was possible.
[46:44] What are you looking forward to? Adam loves live music, specifically Fish and the Grateful Dead. Both bands have a big sober following. He wants to go to a concert and attending a fellowship meeting during a set break to experience live music and sobriety.
[47:54] Rapid Fire Round
You are worthy of receiving all the love that the universe has for you.
Everything. Addiction is giving up everything for one thing and recovery is about giving up one thing for everything.
Ben & Jerry’s oatmeal cookie.
The book, The Four Agreements. His sponsor and his sober community have been tremendous assets.
There is nothing in this world that is worth more than an investment in yourself. Once you do that, you will have a life you can’t imagine.
You may have to say Adios to booze if … If you find yourself drinking at an in-person AA meeting.
Odette’s Summary
Odette challenges listeners to take out your journals and explore this prompt. When do I feel at peace? Is it easy to stay there? What do I run toward when I find myself unable to stay at peace?
Creating a new mindset takes more than quitting drinking. Learn more about yourself.
Check out our YouTube channel for a recipe for Tamarind limeade – lots of laughs! You are not alone, together is always better. Peace begins with you. Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”
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| 09 Oct 2017 | RE 138: The Science of Addiction | 00:50:36 | |
Paul summarizes an article from National Geographic “The Science of Addiction.” Nearly 1 in 20 adults worldwide are addicted to alcohol. 21 million Americans have a drug or alcohol addiction. Making the disorder more common than cancer. Addiction is a pathological form of learning. Carey, with 40 days year since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[8:52] Paul Introduces Carey. I am 30 years old; I’m an RN from Rochester New York. I used to say I liked to do a whole lot of things, but I put a lot of it on the back burner when I was drinking.
[14:45] Paul- Did you have a rock bottom moment? What caused you to make this decision to get into sobriety?
Carey- I feel like there are so many situations in which I should have chosen that time. 40 days ago was the time I decided to make the decision for myself. I hated when people told me I should quit drinking.
[19:39] Paul- Before 40 days ago, was that your first time tried to quit drinking?
Carey- Back in the day when I first started noticing issues, I was trying to narrow it down. I went through the whole cycle. After the wedding I had quit drinking for 10 weeks. If I got into nursing school, I was going to celebrate with wine. A few months after starting nursing school I got a DWI.
[35:28] Paul- You were sick and tired of being sick and tired. You used the word excited. How has that shift in mindset?
Carey- I was excited at the fact that I didn’t have to worry anymore. I didn’t have to go out to dinner and worry if my second order of beer would be frowned upon. I am excited about meeting other sober people.
[42:39] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 09 Nov 2020 | RE 299: D is for Dip Days | 00:55:44 | |
Desi took her last drink July 21, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
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Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding your Better You…..
Hard days happen for everyone and don’t believe that highlight reel you see on Instagram! Odette calls these “dip days”. It’s ok to not thrive every single day, it’s ok to let feelings pass, it’s ok to be honest and you are not alone. 2020 is here to remind us we are stronger than we think and also what grief feels like.
Odette wants to share her tools for what helps her during these dip days.
[7:34] Odette introduces Desi.
Desi is 30 years old and lives in Michigan. She is finished up her Master’s in social work at University of Michigan (go blue!). In her spare time, she coaches high school lacrosse which is a huge passion of hers.
[12:38] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Desi said her journey started at the age of 7 with an eating disorder after being sexually abused. At the age of 14 a cousin passed away and that was a big turning point for her. Her family didn’t talk about emotions. And around this time, she started drinking as well. Her first drink wasn’t normal, and it flipped a switch: she wanted more. In college she made friends with a group of people who “didn’t make wise decisions” so neither did she. Life was very hard for Desi during this. In college she met another woman, Vera, who became her sister and she credits Vera with saving her life. In 2009 she began to have chest pains, which was always diagnosed as “anxiety”, but Desi knew it wasn’t. In 2012 her sister Lauren got her into a treatment center for her eating disorder. In her second time in ED rehab she tried to get sober. However, Desi considered herself a dry drunk. November 2014 she began drinking again.
[34:04] When you came out of treatment were you frustrated that you also had to remove alcohol?
Desi said she didn’t even think she had a problem with alcohol at first. She knew her eating disorder was killing her and that was her focus. She held onto all the other toxic things so she could cope. Desi was scared if she didn’t have other things to help her get through life.
[39:41] Tell me about the first couple months of your sobriety.
Desi said she worked a program with AA. She had severe withdrawal symptoms, but she was able to talk about it in AA. There was nothing left to hide, and Desi was very honest in her shares. She reflected back on what made her want to quit drinking in the first place. Staying connected and finding community was what helped.
[44:09] Did your anxiety get better?
Desi said yes. While she’s a naturally anxious person, her anxiety has leveled. She was able to get off medication. Where her anxiety used to sit is no longer there. She experiences anxiety just like other people do, because that’s life.
[46:28] Tell me about sharing openly.
Desi said she needed to be able to share, she looks at it as a duty. Her sharing helps other people. She tells her story for those close to her that passed away and weren’t able to tell theirs.
[50:50] Rapid Fire Round
Hold, have hope, let people help you, and listen to others.
An internship at UofM.
No, I’m good.
If you can think of best case scenario for your life, just know that without alcohol it’s 100% possible.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If you sneak out, get drunk, come back home, fall down the stairs, break your leg running to the bathroom to throw up.
Odette’s challenge this week:
Reach you, Odette is here for you.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – We took the stairs down, we gotta take the elevator back up, we can do this– I love you guys” | |||
| 15 Oct 2018 | RE 191: Sobriety Gets Easier and Easier and Ends in Life | 00:43:28 | |
Kelly, with 8 days since her last drink, shares her story…
SHOW NOTES
[07:03] Paul Introduces Kelly.
In Fort Myers, Florida, 32 years old, sober for 8 days. Happily divorced. She is a mother, has a 4-year-old daughter. She is learning who she is as a sober woman and mother.
[9:06] What lead to your decision to do the interview?
[11:32] Give us some background about your drinking.
[21:50] Did you attempt to moderate?
[23:38] Have you explored the deeper causes of your drinking?
[28:17] How have you gotten through the tough times without alcohol?
[30:24] Walk us through a day in your recovery.
[33:03] What’s on your bucket list in sobriety?
[35:49] What would you consider your rock bottom moment? [36:30] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free This Naked Mind - A book by Annie Grace Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!” | |||
| 16 Oct 2017 | RE 139: PAWS - Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms/Syndrome | 00:46:16 | |
This week’s topic is PAWS- Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms/Syndrome. Paul explains what PAWS is, how to deal with it, and some of the signs to look for. Josh, with 15 months since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[8:13] Paul Introduces Josh. I am from Phoenix originally, now living in LA; I am a digital content producer. I am 36 years old. I like hiking and exploring with my miniature golden retriever Diego.
[10:30] Paul- You left AA in recovery determined to find a way to drink normally. How did that go?
Josh- Once you’ve been introduced to recovery and then you go back out, it’s tough because you can’t enjoy drinking the way that you were. I just wanted to learn to drink responsibly. To me it felt like there were people with more serious problems than me.
[19:35] Paul- Why did things start to change after you adopted Diego?
Josh- It took me out of myself. Talking to others about their dogs. Going to the dog park, and meeting other people. I kept myself busy in early sobriety. Having Diego at home with me really helped me more than I can explain.
[27:49] Paul- Talk to me about outpatient treatment, what was that like? Josh- I didn’t feel connected to the group, it wasn’t a good experience because I wasn’t’ putting the work into it. When I was finally ready in 2016, it was a really good experience. I went 6 days a week for the first month.
[35:07] Paul- Where are you at these days with 12 step programs? Do you go to AA meetings? Josh- I do. I was anti- AA for a long time. I don’t embrace everything about it. What I admire is that it is organized so well. There is a core connection of people there if you want it. I was going to 5-6 meetings a week the first year. I definitely get something out of it. It is not everything to me. I am working the steps.
[38:31] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 01 Aug 2022 | RE 389: Journal Speak | 00:53:52 | |
Episode 389 - Journal Speak
Today we have Christy. She is 42, from Denmark, and has been sober since April 5, 2022.
Costa Rica 2023: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica2023/
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about “journal speak,” an informal, off-the-cuff style of journaling. The point is to get unprocessed, uncomfortable emotions out of you. It makes you feel less alone and more connected to yourself. This is a significant component connecting with the raw, unheard, vulnerable, pissed-off version of you. When you feel a craving coming on, this is one of the best times to do this because a part of you is screaming to be heard. Paul suggests starting with 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night. Make it informal, with no spelling or grammar check, and toss or burn it when you finish. Generally, you will find that you feel better and have cleared your mind.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[10:58] Christy has been sober for eighty days. She lives in Denmark, is from North Carolina, and is an agile coach in IT. She is married with two children,
Christy describes herself as a boring child who didn’t get into trouble. She was active in sports and music. Alcohol was always present in her life. She remembers the DARE program in high school and decided to avoid drugs and alcohol. She met her husband and married young. Christy drank socially, but there were no red flags.
In 2004, her father was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was age 47. Christy knew she needed to be strong. He passed in 2007. Unaware of how to process the grief, Christy pushed through, went through some counseling, and had a baby. After giving birth, she experienced anxiety and high blood pressure. She spiraled downward. Alcohol was a great way to shut down her brain. She gave birth to her second son and immediately returned to drinking and felt okay because the Mommy wine culture made it alright.
When moving to Denmark, she knew she needed to address her drinking because she had started sneaking alcohol. The geographic solution didn’t work. The trauma of her Dad’s death brought on emotions Christy could not process. She began taking days off and going to the liquor store early while her husband was at work and her kids were in school. Her drinking progressed, and she could secretly consume a whole bottle of wine. Her panic attacks got worse, and she didn’t realize it was the progression of her drinking that was causing the panic attacks.
Christy told her doctor about her problem. She started listening to recovery podcasts and saw a new counselor to deal with her grief and health anxiety. Her self-talk was, “don’t think, drink.” The anxiety was debilitating. She was depressed and had the shakes and the shame of uncontrollable drinking.
COVID and having the kids home 24/7 was challenging. When she got to the point where her children had to put her to bed, she knew she had hit rock bottom. Her marriage was in jeopardy.
Christy enjoys Café RE and often hosts some of the chats. She attends AA and Smart Recovery as well. She has learned it is okay to be vulnerable and not strong. Leaning on her husband is okay. She no longer has to be “the rock.” Her anxiety has improved, and her counseling is helping. Her greatest joy is that her son says he has his mom back.
Paul’s Summary
Paul talks about the anxiety that came with trying to fix his printer. He loves that he has learned to let emotions flow through him. Paul believes in all the listeners.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- It all starts from the inside out. You can do this. I love you guys. | |||
| 01 Jul 2024 | RE 489: The Best Parts of an Alcohol-Free Life | 00:43:02 | |
Episode 489 – The Best Parts of an Alcohol-Free Life
Today we have Chris. He is 56 years old and lives in Beacon, NY and took his last drink on April 18th, 2024.
Registration for our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam opens TODAY! This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.
Welcome to our new listeners! We are glad to have you with us. You are in the right place. There is a whole new authentic life awaiting you, which isn’t far away.
Congratulations to Paul and his wife on the birth of their new baby boy!
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[04:10] Thoughts from Paul:
A few weeks ago, Paul asked our Instagram followers what is the best part of being sober or living an alcohol free life. He shares with us some of the responses he received.
The four biggest commonalities he saw were: 1) More authenticity 2) Less shame and regret 3) More energy 4) More clarity
Think of the sobriety quote “you’re giving up one thing for everything”.
[11:16] Paul introduces Chris:
Chris says he is 56 years old and grew up in northern New Jersey, close to NYC. Cooking is his passion, and he has worked in the food and beverage industry all of his life, currently in a director role. Chris also enjoys the outdoors and currently lives in the Hudson Valley.
Beyond the occasional night of overindulgence, Chris says his drinking was normal. He was around alcohol a lot in the industry he works in. After getting married, he and his wife enjoyed entertaining in addition to traveling to wineries and distilleries and building a collection. Over time Chris began drinking more than just wine with dinner, had booze all over the house and was drinking earlier in the day and more often.
After he and his wife got divorced, Chris found himself drinking more heavily and was less discriminate of what he was drinking as long as he was getting his fix, as he calls it. He was breaking commitments and becoming less functional in his day-to-day life.
Chris didn’t drink heavily around other people but told his family in 2018 that he needed help. He went into treatment and was able to gain 14 months. He was part of a sober community called Ben’s Friends geared towards those in the service industry. Chris was able to gain some sobriety time but had a series of stops and starts with several more visits to rehab as well.
Currently at 34 days, Chris is working on rebuilding his life. He knows time will heal his relationships with family, and he is attending IOP for accountability. He is spending a lot of time outdoors and is grateful that the weather has been nice. He attends AA meetings, Café RE chats, and participates in meetings with Ben’s Friends. Missing meetings is a non-negotiable for Chris and he also makes sure to nurture himself physically and spiritually.
Chris’ best sober moment: being present with his partner while on vacation.
Chris’ parting piece of guidance: stay connected.
Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.
Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We gotta take the stairs back up. You can do this. | |||
| 04 Dec 2023 | RE 459: Let’s Smile | 00:45:17 | |
Episode 459 – Let’s Smile
Today we have Spencer. He’s 44 years old from Minneapolis, MN and took his last drink on September 23rd, 2023.
Registration for RESTORE is no open! If you want to take a break for a month, or say adios for good, this course is for you. You’re going to learn all about alcohol addiction, what it is, what it isn’t, how to beat cravings, you’ll learn about many different recovery pathways, and the best part is you won’t be doing this alone.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
[02:04] Highlights from Paul:
Start your day with a smile. It doesn’t matter if the smile is fake or real. The body doesn’t know the difference and the nervous system always responds positively with a smile.
Smiling increases mood-enhancing hormones. Smiling releases endorphins, natural painkillers, and serotonin, while decreasing stress-enhancing hormones, including cortisol, and adrenaline. It also reduces overall blood pressure.
Another reason to smile is that research shows that smiles are contagious. Most people will find a way to reciprocate in a friendly manner. Smiling is a way to be of service because it makes other people’s days better.
Spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has said “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."
Start your day with a 30 -second smile. And not for just one day or two, but rock that smile every morning for the rest of this year and hopefully beyond. And don't forget to keep that smile going throughout the day.
Paul shares some dad jokes to help get us started.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[08:04] Paul introduces Spencer:
Spencer grew up in Minneapolis area. He is married with two kids. He enjoys playing blues and rock on his guitar and spending time on the river with his family. Spencer has been an electrician for 23 years.
Spencer says that alcohol was a big part of his family’s life while he was growing up. Both of his parents drank, and every event was centered around alcohol. Spencer didn’t try alcohol until he was around 15. He had a friend who’s parent worked nights, so their house became a party house and drinking happened frequently.
Spencer got married young and they both drank heavily. They had a daughter together and eventually they ended up getting a divorce. At the time Spencer blamed a lot of the issues on his ex. Once she moved out Spencer had some friends move in and says the drinking became daily and he was losing jobs. He eventually started having financial issues and lost his house.
It was shortly after he started dating a woman that didn’t drink like him that he realized that drinking might be a problem for him. He didn’t really make any changes until the birth of his son when he began to try moderating and added rules around his drinking.
Things were going well for Spencer and then he got a call from his son’s mother that she was a heroin addict. He ended up having to get custody of him and knew he had to stop drinking for his son. He was able to quit for a while but gradually let drinking slip back in.
Spencer was able to quit for a few years and started recognizing how big of an issue alcohol had been for him. He knew he wanted to quit but wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to do it.
New activities have replaced drinking for Spencer. He is working on his relationships with his kids and has been talking to them about alcohol and the issues within the family. Spencer is open about his sobriety with others. He listens to a lot of podcasts about addiction and enjoys online AA meetings and has plans to do the steps. Spencer knows how important connection will be going forward.
Spencer’s parting piece of guidance: If you think you have a problem, find someone that’s sober to talk about it, listen to podcasts, get connected.
Recovery Elevator Remember Rule 22, keep those smiles going. Lighten up. I love you guys.
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| 25 Dec 2017 | RE 149: Some Facts About Alcohol | 00:39:58 | |
Facts about Alcohol: Less than 20% of people with alcohol abuse disorders actually seek treatment for their disease. Excessive alcohol consumption costs the U.S. economy an estimated 250 billion dollars in lost productivity according to a study from 2010. Alcoholic’s Anonymous success rates vary depending on the source. Makenzee, with 1 year since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[12:05] Paul Introduces Makenzee. I am from Boise Idaho. I am 23 years old and I work in the emergency department at the hospital. I love crafting, and fitness and nutrition. I got married 9 months ago.
[13:15] Paul- When did you first realize you had a problem with alcohol?
Makenzee- I had a constant build up of sickness and hangovers on my days off. I started to realize that my hobbies didn’t exist anymore. I wasn’t really present in the moment. It was miserable.
[16:57] Paul- 13 days ago, did you have a rock bottom moment? Tell us why you quit drinking.
Makenzee- It was hard to say one specific thing happened. I was excruciatingly hung-over 13 days ago. It lasted about two and half days. I was going through some physical withdrawals.
[25:22] Paul- Let’s back up to Day 1,2, 3, 4, 5, how have you gotten this far?
Makenzee- Days 1,2,3,4,5 were… I’m not going to sugar coat it, absolute hell. My body was physically aching. I had a hard time wrapping my head around the situation. Yesterday was the first day I did not feel miserable. It was very difficult the first few days.
[31:36] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself over these past 13 days?
Makenzee- I’m actually a good person. I beat myself up a lot. I realized everyone is not going to like me. But I like me, and I am comfortable in my own skin.
[36:52] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator in Dallas January Social Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Opportunity to waive the set up fee. Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 30 Sep 2019 | RE 241: Life Synergies | 00:51:43 | |
Dan took his last drink on July 28, 2018. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today’s episode Paul talks about how we need to read his book, and others like it, with pride. We have to shred the shame and ditch the stigma. He shares a letter he received from someone that attended the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman recently, and as she was reading Alcohol is Sh!t on the plane the lady sitting next to her asked about the book. And she was able to share. Turned out the lady was on her way to help her daughter who had relapsed and needed to hear everything she had to say. SHOW NOTES
[10:10] Paul introduces Dan.
Dan is a father of 3, has a daughter in college and the youngest is 14. He works as a retail executive. He lives in New York and enjoys cycling.
[12:45] Give us a background on your drinking.
Dan says he started drinking in high school and drank all through college. He says that drinking is a big part of the business world and he fell right into that. He didn’t realize he had an issue, but his wife did. He said he was drinking 5-6 drinks a night.
[15:35] Talk to us about how you asked yourself, “how can I quit?”.
Dan says he called a hypnotist to get some help, but after his initial call to her he never followed up. About a month later, on July 29, 2018, he was in a bad bicycle accident. His doctors took great care of him and he hasn’t had a drink since.
[18:10] What happened after the accident?
He had a bad brain injury so was told that he should not drink, if he did, he could have a seizure or a stroke. After 10 days Dan came home from the hospital only to find out that his wife had removed all the alcohol from the house. Dan says that was like being asleep and thrown into an ice-cold pool. His brother told him he needed to go to AA so he walked into one only to feel like he didn’t belong. He left that meeting angry and determined to show everyone wrong.
[24:05] How are you feeling now?
Dan says it’s a little bit of ‘he’s going to show them (his friends and family)’ and it’s a little bit of he likes the way he feels and he looks.
[26:47] You were told by your doctor not to drink for a year, because of the chance for a stroke…did you ever have the thought when that year was up to pick up a drink?
Dan says no, in fact he went to the conference he was supposed to be at the year before and never thought about it.
[28:17] At your yearly physical you asked your doctor if you could now have a glass of wine, and he asked you, “why would you?”, can you answer that question?
Dan says because of the social aspect, he admits to missing it.
[39:20] Dan talk to us about that connected feeling.
Dan is feeling connected to life and not the alcohol. He is feeling more connected to his family.
[40:25] What’s on your bucket list for an alcohol-free life?
Going to a sporting event AF and seeing what that’s like and racing again.
[43:00] Rapid Fire Round
When I was at my physical and I asked my doctor if I could have a glass of wine and he leaned across the table and asked, “why the F would you?”.
A better connection with my children and my wife.
Diet Coke, I drink too much of it. I also like a nice latte.
My favorite resources would be my family, cycling, I have a lot of resources at work too.
It’s not all about work, life is a balance, and the more pressure you’re under you need a release and a hobby.
You’re a business person that the alcohol is incorporated into the fabric of your life.
Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
ZipRecruiter This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out.” | |||
| 23 May 2022 | RE 379: Doing Your Part | 01:05:53 | |
Episode 379 – Service
Today we have Aaron. He is 40, from South Carolina, and took his last drink on September 15, 2021.
Jeff was interviewed for the podcast on episodes 104 and 377, has a book out, and is now leading sober travel trips. See links below.
Finding Bishop Castle: A Road Trip to Recovery -- https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Bishop-Castle-Road-Recovery/dp/0578882612/ref=sr_1_1?crid=350FVMX9SZBRI&keywords=finding+bishop+castle+jeff+bowersox&qid=1649339640&sprefix=Finding+Bishop+%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-1#customerReviews
Afterglow Recovery - https://ourafterglow.com
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about the benefits of service and climate change in recovery. Service gets you out of your head and out of your story. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are released when we help others.
Climate change could save us as a species by forcing us to work together and develop a collective strategy. Alcoholics can help because there’s one thing we can do that others can’t, and that’s meeting as a group, putting all our differences aside, and talking about healing, recovery, and LOVE.
Paul wants climate change to unite us instead of dividing us. He is encouraging Recovery Elevator listeners to plant a tree, take a picture and tag us on Instagram @recoveryelevator.
“The true meaning of life is to plant trees under the shade you don’t expect to sit.” Nelson Henderson
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[15:06] Aaron has been sober for seven months and is married with two kids. He has an athletic household. He loves cooking, sports, and power yoga.
Alcohol wasn’t part of his life until his senior year of high school. When he went to college, binge drinking was the norm. Alcohol came with comradery for Aaron. All his memories with his friends involved alcohol. At 23, he totaled a car after drinking to excess. He quit for a month after the accident. When he started working, he got an outside sales job involving entertaining customers. Both his work and his social life revolved around drinking. At times it felt like an obligation. His tolerance built up, and it never occurred to him to stop.
His wife noticed and began to comment on his drinking. Aaron said to drink as he wanted meant being drunk. He saw a therapist specializing in addiction who helped him see several things.
Aaron’s 40th birthday was enough of a nudge to get him to address his drinking. His wife bought him a ten pack of hot yoga classes, and he went to his first one on his birthday.
Odette and Aaron discussed the dynamics of alcoholism running in the family and how to talk to children, siblings, and cousins about being mindful of the patterns that can develop.
Accountability has been a big part of Aaron’s sober journey. His cousin has become his accountability partner, and they talk about the ups and downs of sobriety with each other.
Odette and Aaron talk about the differences in sobriety that are new. Managing customers has worked well in sobriety. Aaron remembers his deliverables more readily and has found that as many customers want to be home with family as they want to party. Grieving your old life is allowed and makes sense. Ditching the booze makes room for new experiences.
Odette’s Summary
Odette reminds listeners that you keep us going. We want to hear from you about what you would like to hear from us in the podcast, social media, and newsletters. You can reach Odette at info@recoveryelevator.com.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| 17 Feb 2020 | RE 261: Do You Want to Quit Drinking or Not? | 00:48:09 | |
Sofi took her last drink on April 28, 2014. This is her story. On today’s episode Paul talks about tough love. If you are saying you want to quit drinking…but…”you can’t because…fill in the blank ”, or “you can’t because you don’t want to…fill in the blank”, in other words, you want to quit but don’t want to put in the work, well here’s some tough love for you…that doesn’t work.
[11:00] Paul introduces Sofi.
Sofi is 30 years old and it from London. She has 4 older sisters. For fun Sofi enjoys exercise and hanging out in nature while listening to podcasts.
[15:00] Give us a background on your drinking.
Sofi says she has always had an addictive personality. With alcohol Sofi noticed a change around the age of 14. She was at a boarding school so all her drinking took place on the weekends. Sofi says that the wheels came off when she went to university.
Freshman year she was going out every night. By her 2nd year of university, when most of her friends had slowed down, Sofi continued her drinking ways.
Sofi never finished university and at the age of 21 was in her fist rehab. That began a revolving door for the next 4 years…rehab, relapse, rehab, relapse.
[21:00] 13 treatment centers, was there ever a time when you just felt like the next one wasn’t going to work?
Sofi says she liked rehab. She liked that when she was there, she met people that thought like she did.
[25:50] What does ‘you can’t think your way out of this problem’ mean to you?
Sofi said she had learned all the tools in all of her rehab stays, but because she didn’t know how to use them, she kept relapsing and going back. It wasn’t until she had a moment of clarity that it all came together and made sense.
[31:15] Talk to us about what you learned in those first 3 years, and then in the 2 years after that.
Sofi says she was learning to live through the highs and lows during the first 3 years. She also learned, through the AA community, that she wasn’t such a bad person and how to make things right with her family. The biggest thing that Sofi has learned, and is still learning, is that she does not need to punish herself.
[34:05] How do you address self-loathing?
Sofi says she at the place where she accepts herself, most of the time. She tries to treat herself as she would treat someone else.
[36:15] Talk to us a little bit about your experience here at Hope Rehab.
Sofi says it is such a fun environment. Hope Rehab is teaching people how to enjoy life sober. There is a big emphasis on exercise.
[41:15] Rapid Fire Round
Going on holiday with my family again, for the first time sober.
Hard to narrow it down, but anything sour.
It’s easily other people.
I’m living it now, going around the world and seeing as much of it as I can.
Stay connected.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
You have started drinking secretly.
Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Hope Rehab https://www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com/
BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this.”
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| 06 Aug 2018 | Re 181: Water is all you Need | 00:49:44 | |
Jodi, with over 100 days since her last drink, shares her story... Water comes in many forms and despite what you might think, the differences aren't just regional nomenclature. There are distinct differences between these types of water, and while they are somewhat slight, they’re enough to merit their own name. Here’s what you need to know: Mineral Water Sparkling mineral water comes from a natural spring which contains various minerals, like salts and sulfur compounds. It's defined by its "constant level and relative proportions of mineral and trace elements at the point of emergence from the source." Minerals aren't added to this water and neither is carbonation (with the exception of San Pellegrino, which has additional carbonation added by the bottler). That means that the bubbles in these bottles are completely natural. You would typically drink this water as is (not mixed in a cocktail), since it's a tad expensive and has a slight mineral-y taste.
Seltzer Water Seltzer water is just plain water that has been artificially carbonated. This water, which contains no sodium salts, gets its name from the German town of Selters, which was renowned for its natural springs. Seltzer water was first introduced as a cheap alternative to sparkling mineral water -- and it still is an economical option today.
Club Soda Seltzer water and club soda are very similar, but there is a notable difference between the two. Unlike seltzer, mineral-like ingredients are added to club soda to enhance the flavor. If you look on the list of ingredients, you'll likely see potassium bicarbonate and potassium sulfate listed.
Tonic Water
SHOW NOTES
[9:05] Paul Introduces Jodi.
Jodi is 34-year-old artist and musician living in Detroit, Michigan, with her dog. She has a podcast called “Detroit Craft Academy”. She went to art school for photography originally. [12:20] How has sobriety affected your personal relationship with your art?
[14:25] When did you first realize you had a problem with drinking, and how did you quit?
[20:25] Did you experience a rock bottom?
[22:29] What was different about this particular attempt to quit that's been successful so far?
[38:44] What have you learned about yourself in sobriety so far?
[40:25] How is your depression now that alcohol is removed from your life?
[42:42] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Right now, listeners can try Zip Recruiter for free by visiting Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 01 Jun 2020 | RE 276: End of Season 1 | 01:06:25 | |
Brian took his last drink September 18, 2019. At 213 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
End of Season 1
After 276 consecutive Mondays & 5 years, Paul is stepping down from the podcast and is handing Recovery Elevator over to a new and talented voice. He recaps his next steps and an overview of what the last 5 years has brought him. With 2076 days at the time of recording, Paul is filled with gratitude for all you listeners. Because of you, he is filled with enough. We are all in this together.
Don’t forget, you can rate and review the podcast and tell Paul the change this podcast has affected in your own life.
[13:36] Paul introduces Brian.
Brian is 45 years old, married and lives in Easley, SC. He is married with two children. He was in the Army for 17 years before moving to the South. For fun Brian likes to golf, ski, snowboard, BBQ his own meats. He also does podcasting and some PA events.
[17:20] Give listeners some background on your drinking.
Brian didn’t drink until he had almost graduated High School. He drank and got drunk the very first time. He said that was a theme throughout his drinking. He drank to get drunk each time. He went through military training and service and returned home to finish college in Baltimore. He was asked to leave after 2 years due to a 0.0 GPA the previous semester.
[21:16] When did your drinking progress?
Brian said there were waves of drinking. It picked up in his 20s after leaving college. Bartending made it easy to drink a lot. In 1999 he had to call out of his job a few times due to hangover. At that time, he saw there was a problem with his drinking and got sober for about 8 months from alcohol. In 2004, he tried to quit alcohol again for about 7 months. In 2007 he got into some legal trouble but during that his now wife became pregnant with their first child. He says his daughter saved his life. Thorough out this time, Brian says he would often be spoken at work about his behavior during events that involved alcohol. And in 2020 at an executive weekend event, he spent the entire weekend drunk. He said he was spoken to a few times throughout the weekend and that next week was his last drink with his cousin.
[30:55] Let talk about your last drink.
Brian said it was in his mind that something needed to change. He ordered a craft beer, and it didn’t taste good. He ordered a second, it didn’t taste good. At that moment he knew something was going to change.
[35:15] What was September 19, 2020 like?
Brian was familiar with the sober fellowship in his area and he began attending meetings immediately. However, this time, he felt very good about his decision to stop drinking. There was a sense of relief and peace that his suffering was over. 20 years of ups and downs and trying to get sober, culminated in this last drink in September 2019.
[40:43] In the first 60 / 90 days how did you get past some cravings?
Brian said that while he didn’t have cravings exactly, he had thoughts about drinking. Many of them situational. He’s forcing himself to remember the bad and not romanticize the good. Playing the tape forward helps to remind him of the bad. Seeing how that one romantic moment turns into a day of regret the next day. This time getting sober, Brian knew he needed to do something different and approached it in that manner. He put more effort into his getting sober.
[46:26] Do you recognize the profound leaps and bounds you have made over these past 7 months?
Brian said he has put the work into himself to try and find out who he is. Removing the masks worn and breaking down the facades of who he thought he was to find out who he truly is in this life. He tries to meditate every single day for 30 – 60 minutes a day and has been reading a lot more, both of which center him. All of this to try and put aside the ego.
[48:34] Comment on some other experiences where you have said “that’s no longer me / who I am”
Brian has seen a change in his personal relationships. In the past he was short to show his temper and is choosing to not be that person any longer. He now finds his stoicism a strength, while when he was drinking it was a weakness. While still drinking he bottled up his feelings which would then tumble out while drunk in an overexaggerated manner. And now while sober, he’s allowing himself to feel the feelings and understand more what they are telling him. Brian lets himself be sensitive and he can respond rather than react.
[52:50] Rapid Fire Round
I never knew who I was until these last 7 months.
Rekindling my relationship with my kids.
Seltzer water. Cranberry lime specifically. And Kombucha.
Pilots license.
Keep going. Even if you slip up, don’t beat yourself up. Every moment is a new moment to change.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
If your fraternity renames the yearly Biggest Partier award after you and disqualifies you from winning it.
Future Episodes: Please give this new voice a chance, please listen for at least a few episodes. Please let us know your thoughts. Paul has asked this person to honor the mission of the podcast, shedding the stigma surrounding addiction. And also to honor the path this new direction takes.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.. Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this- I love you guys,” | |||
| 07 Nov 2022 | RE 403: Hello Universe | 00:51:32 | |
Episode 403 – Hello Universe
Many Today we have Pat. He is 38, from Georgia, and he took his last drink on February 22, 2022.
Events: https://recoveryelevator.com/events Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/re20
Highlights from Paul
The opposite of addiction is connection. Near-death experiences often connect us to a higher power and make us question where we go after we die. In today’s episode, Paul shares his views on spirituality and connecting with a higher power.
Addiction disconnects us from the external world and from within. Paul reminds us we are not alone: we are connected to every living on the planet. Love, connection, inclusivity, and wholeness.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[13:14] Pat got sober on 2/22/22 and planned his sobriety date as a military child who has lived in many places. He is married, loves archery, plays guitar, writes music, and sells hearing aids.
Pat began experimenting with alcohol at 15. He learned in college he could drink a lot. He was frequently the last one standing. Initially, he drank to get a buzz. He avoided eating to enhance his buzz. In college, he got a DUI. Pat drank to feel normal. He never had a true rock bottom moment.
In 2020, Pat stopped drinking for six months, knowing he and his wife wanted to conceive. He switched from whiskey to beer. Quickly it snuck back into his life.
Pat’s wife began going to Al-Anon. He burned the ships on social media and garnered support from friends and family. After a physical, he had some bad results, including elevated liver enzymes. He was encouraged to go to inpatient rehab. He ultimately tapered. His doctor prescribed medications to help him overcome anxiety. The first two weeks of detox were painful. After the physical challenges dissipated, things became much more manageable. His family and friends supported him. He realizes he doesn’t need alcohol to get through the highs and lows of everyday life.
The RE podcast, audiobooks, and the Café RE Facebook group are his favorite recovery tools, and he is excited that he and his wife are expecting their first child.
[49:20] Paul’s Summary
Book recommendations Reality Unveiled: https://amzn.to/3CxrVQg The seat of the Soul: https://amzn.to/3z0phBJ Many lives many masters: https://amzn.to/3rQ6QLS
The concepts in these books help Paul to feel connected. The knowledge is the precursor to feeling the way Paul needs to feel to stay sober.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- Go big because eventually, we all go home. I love you guys. | |||
| 27 Jul 2015 | 023: The Other Side Part 1 | Spouses and loved ones of alocholics | 01:00:41 | |
Shelly from Hawaii, who has nearly 3 months of sobriety, shares how she plans to be successful in recovery. | |||
| 15 Jan 2024 | RE 465: Drink Responsibly? | 01:03:48 | |
Episode 465 – Drink Responsibly?
Today we have Kevin. He is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland, OH. He took his last drink on April 28th, 2018.
I want to give a shout out to our DRY January REstore cohort. We’re 1/2 way there, you all are doing a fantastic job, I’ll see you all tonight.
On January 27th we start our six-week alcohol-free ukelele course. This course is brought to you by Kala Brand.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[03:09] Thoughts from Paul:
One of the main goals at Recovery Elevator is to soften the stigma surrounding alcohol addiction and recovery. Another goal is to give listeners permission to shred the shame and recover our authentic selves along the way.
The phrase “Drink Responsibly” is such a cop out and doesn’t do anything but place blame on the drinker. Alcohol is the most addictive drug on the planet, and you won’t see other drugs proclaiming that you use the substance responsibly. We can do the “Drink Responsibly” thing way better and at the same time bring more people together in community from both sides of the aisle to heal.
A favorite NA beverage company of Paul’s, GO Brewing and Recovery Elevator have partnered up to release 180 six packs of their award-winning Sunbeam Pilsner. GO Brewing was started by a fellow member in the recovery space, Joe Chura. This is two companies who have a similar goal, uniting, in attempts to shred the shame around alcohol addiction.
Pick up your limited edition RE Sunbeam Pils, use the code elevator at checkout for 15% off and free shipping on orders over $40.
Andrew Huberman – What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
[10:20] Paul introduces Kevin:
Kevin is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland area, he is the head of coaching for the Reframe app and a former accountant. Kevin is married and for fun he enjoys attending his daughter’s sporting events, reading and just relaxing when he isn’t working.
Kevin says his drinking began in college where he was in a fraternity and played sports. His drinking transferred into his career where there was a lot of stress, happy hours, and deadline parties where binge drinking was a way to socialize.
Kevin and his wife got married when he was 23 and had their daughter when he was 27. His drinking increased as a way to cope with the high stress of his career. After some blood work found him diagnosed with fatty liver, he tried moderation and different attempts at taking breaks from alcohol.
Without much success at controlling his drinking on his own, Kevin eventually decided to look into therapy with his wife’s support. He developed a journaling practice and would talk with his therapist while working on quitting and made it 60 days.
Several work and life events found Kevin trying to moderate the drinking again. He made the decision to commit to 61 days and then continued to extend the timeline. Kevin was reading a lot and listening to podcasts. His therapist helped him a lot as well. He started an Instagram page for himself, but after some time decided to go public and share more. He got a lot of positive feedback which fueled him to try and start recovery coaching. He became involved with Reframe app soon after.
Kevin’s best sober moment: his first sober concert with his daughter.
Kevin’s parting piece of guidance: practice. Find a platform that resonates with you and keep practicing.
Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we all go home. I love you guys. | |||
| 29 Mar 2021 | RE 319: Have Your Cake and Eat it too | 00:51:02 | |
Episode 319 - When I was stressed out at work or stressed by a social situation, alcohol would fix it temporarily, until it didn’t. Now I’m accepting moods, feelings and phases come and go and it’s all okay.
Korie took her last drink on March 21, 2019. She is from Texas and is 32 years old. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).
A request from Recover Elevator
We have a request; we would like to hear more from you! Please consider making a one-minute video sharing your, “you might need to ditch the booze if… story”. Hold your camera sideways, make it less than a minute and send it to: info@recoveryelevator.com. Make it authentic to yourself and your journey. We will post your video on Instagram. If you share your Instagram handle, we will post that as well. We look forward to seeing more of you on our page. Instagram: @recovery elevator.
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message
Rediscovering your life beyond recovery. You are all unique. We are more than a drinking problem; we are more than recovery. The life we now enjoy would disappear if we returned to drinking. It is easy to feel uniqueness –submerged in recovery. In sobriety we don’t know when things will get better, but they do. Sobriety is a piece of your whole life. We all have the opportunity to learn and re-learn who we are.
Maintenance is important to secure your sobriety. If you stay the course, you get to graduate. You always focus on maintaining sobriety, but it’s not all day every day, it becomes a piece of your broader life. There are so many benefits to being present in sobriety – you can have your cake and eat it too.
[8:12] Odette introduces Korie
Korie said her last drink was 3/21/19. She grew up in Austin, Texas and is 32 years old. Korie was abroad and lived in Japan and Singapore and came to the US when she was 6 years old. She is engaged and just bought a home outside of Austin. Pre-quarantine, Korie was a social butterfly. Now, she stays home more than she used to and loves getting outside, running, reading, drawing and anything artsy.
[11:46] Tell us about your history with drinking.
Korie doesn’t remember her first drink of alcohol. She would have a sip or two of her Mom’s wine and thought it was disgusting. In high school she was in a few programs that required her to sign a contract saying she wouldn’t drink or party. She followed the rules. In college she remembers drinking, getting dizzy, self-control was gone, and she didn’t want it to stop because she liked the feeling. She didn’t drink often.
She worked in the restaurant industry which breeds lots of drinking. It felt normal, until it didn’t. When she graduated from college, she moved to Spain to become an Au Pair and drank a lot there. She remembers staying out all night, being hung over and thinking she may have a problem and her drinking wasn’t normal. The nightlife continued when she returned to the US. She remembers getting drunk, getting sick and making bad decisions?
[15:13] What thoughts were you having about your drinking?
Korie felt pretty justified because she judged her drinking based on what other people were doing. She knew it wasn’t who she wanted to be
It started to feel not right. When she left the restaurant industry, she recognized it wasn’t normal to drink every night. She had a broader circle of friends to compare herself to. She was working as a virtual concierge and was calling in to work, saying she was working from home, but just too hungover to go in. She realized she was still drinking like she had in her twenties. She never wants to experience an emotional rock bottom again.
[18:46] Did you ever talk to anyone about your drinking?
Korie said a former boyfriend spoke to her about her drinking. She got defensive and thought he was a bit paranoid. Looking back, she realizes he was right to be concerned. At 24, Korie verbalized concerns to her best friend, but kept drinking. She started asking questions to people who went to AA.
[20:48] Did you ever attempt moderation?
Korie took a few weeks off of drinking before she stopped altogether. On March 21 she had three glasses of wine and realized she couldn’t stop. She knew the urge was so great and knew she was powerless over the urge. She stopped then and that was it, she was done.
[22:40] Have you asked yourself why you drank or why it was so hard to stop?
Korie said it was a variety of things, but the feeling of not belonging and trying to numb that feeling was at the top of the list. Toward the latter part of her drinking, she began to feel less than when comparing herself to her friends and alcohol helped … until it didn’t. Korie’s self-esteem has substantially improved since she quit drinking. Her skin is clearer, she feels healthier, happier and she isn’t so self-conscious anymore.
When Korie was stressed out at work or stressed by a social situation, alcohol would fix it temporarily, until it didn’t. Now she is accepting moods, feelings and phases come and go and it’s all okay. Korie works hard at being accepting of others.
[30:17] How did things change for you after you quit drinking?
Korie said she felt different, it was black and white, and she knew she couldn’t drink anymore. She listened to several podcasts, read some blogs and followed sober people on Instagram. She decided to check out an AA meeting near her home and it was all women. It was exactly what she needed at the time and she appreciated everyone’s honesty. Nobody glossed over their emotions. In addition, she started going to Sans Bar which is an alcohol-free bar. She was scared, but met the owner, Chris Marshall, and felt welcomed. She was very connected with the sober community in Austin until Covid hit. Now podcasts and connecting with friends keep her sober.
[35:26] What do you do when you get a craving? What tools work for you?
Korie doesn’t get cravings often and has learned she is usually hungry when she gets a craving. She eats and drinks water. When it’s an emotional craving, she turns off her technology, goes for a walk or connects with friends. Vocalizing the craving gives it less power and the cravings pass within 20 minutes.
[36:36] How did your family and friends react to your new lifestyle?
Korie told her best friend who was supportive and didn’t make a big fuss. Their friendship became closer. Some of her friends were surprised and asked why she quit drinking, but she never heard anything negative. Her friends make sure to have AF beverages. Her parents have been very supportive, particularly her Dad. Her mom respects her choice but doesn’t completely understand it. Dating after sobriety was a challenge. Several dates ended quickly. Her fiancé is supportive and asks lots of questions; he is a great partner.
[40:02] Did you experience fear of missing out (FOMO)?
Korie said absolutely, but within a few weeks she would hang out at Sans Bar. She went out, drank soda water with lime, and loved that at midnight she went home, instead of to the next bar. Post quarantine, she has no FOMO at all.
[41:45] Has your sleep improved?
Korie said she slept through the night immediately and she stopped grinding her teeth. Her dog interrupts her sleep occasionally, but her sleep is dramatically improved.
[42:25] What do you say when people offer you a drink?
She says no, thanks. Early on she said, I don’t drink – as a way to be accountable. Now she just asks for a Coke or a Topo Chico. Most people don’t bat an eye.
[43:04] What is your favorite AF beverage?
Coffee with almond creamer – iced or hot. She also loves sparkling water.
[43:33] Do you have any triggers?
Korie said work stress is her biggest trigger, particularly at the end of the day. She takes a step back and practices calming the trigger or craving. During the summer when it’s hot, or after a run, she often craves alcohol.
[45:34] Rapid Fire Round
Korie is excited to talk to Odette and get her story out there. She is hoping to help others and excited about getting her two-year chip.
Korie is reading the John Adams biography and she loves American history. She also reads the Bible regularly.
I am ok just the way I am and people like me when I’m not drinking.
Moose tracks. It can be found in the Northwest. It’s chocolate fudge, peanut butter cups and chocolate chips in vanilla ice cream.
It’s worth it and your life doesn’t stop. It’s so worth it.
You might have to say adios to booze if …
You are so hungover, that the next day you are throwing up at 8 PM.
Mentions:
http://thesansbar.com/
Odette’s Summary
You are more than this struggle, not just your drinking struggle, but any struggle. Leverage recovery to your advantage to build a foundation and you can be whoever you want to be. Recovery is a lot of work, particularly in the beginning. Keep your head up, don’t get discouraged and remember it gets better.
You are not alone and together is always better. You are a bright star in the universe. Shine on!
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys”
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| 03 Jul 2017 | RE 124: It Helps To Talk About It | 00:41:22 | |
Garrett, with 16 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[ 9:15 ] Paul Introduces Garrett. I’ve had stretches of sobriety, I had 14 months, and I’ve had 3 years. I live in Southern California, in Santa Clarita. I work in outside sales, which is a non-structured job perfect for an alcoholic with hangovers. I’m 43, married, like going to Dodger Games. I have 2 kids, 1 in high school, and one in junior high.
[10:45] Paul- What was the impotence behind you quitting alcohol for 3 years, and then for 14 months?
Garrett- The hangovers for me are the body’s way of saying you’ve put a bunch of poison willingly in your body, and this is the result of it. I would be laid out for a full day. Thinking in the moment there is no possible way this could happen again. The feeling in my stomach, I can’t move, or get out of the bed until 4:00 or 5:00 in the evening. One of those times I stopped for 3 years, didn’t go to any program. I lost weight, and started drinking again without any reason. I would romanticize drinking, and once I got the buzz, there was no way I could stop now. I would have to drink to continue with only a short window of feeling good. The cost of that was being completely laid out the entire next day.
[13:35] Paul- What was it like when you first drank after 3 years? Do you remember the first night? Did you pick up right where you left off?
Garrett- No, not really. It was a gradual thing, a slow buildup. My elevator is kind of chaotic; it’s like the elevator at the tower of terror at Disney world. At that point it was gradual. I would wait for people to go to sleep, get a six-pack, and when that was gone, drunk drive to the liquor store and buy some more. I would start with a bottle of wine, then I would go back to the store for tall boys. I don’t know how many I would buy, but I would wake out, the room would start completely shaking, I would close my eyes, and that would be it.
[15:45] Paul- Garrett you mentioned a word earlier that I would like to explore- Fascinating. You would tell yourself I’m only having a couple, but then just game on. Can you tell me more about that fascinating part for you?
Garrett- It was complete and total amnesia every single time. Forgetting the hangovers. The amount of times I would lose not doing the things I wanted to do because I would be hung-over. Because I’m not a bum in the street, I didn’t feel I was a true alcoholic.
[19:30] Paul- Was there a rock bottom moment 16 days ago? How come you quit drinking?
Garrett- It wasn’t a single rock bottom. I have season tickets for the Dodgers. If there was ever a sport made for sitting and drinking beer it is baseball. The beer vendor at the stadium recognized me; I would have to go different vendors because I was embarrassed. The drunk driving home from the games, then going to bars, then drunk driving home again. I dented the garage with my car, and realized with a moment of clarity that this sh#t has got to stop.
[22: 01] Paul- Before I hit the record button you mentioned you felt like you were ping ponging back and forth between: Am I an alcoholic? Do I have a drinking problem? Tell us more about that.
Garrett- It was a stretch of a few days where I would just continually have a few days (of sobriety), and then I would be like “I’m not” because I would have a few days and that proves it. The hangover goes away and I would think I’m not (an alcoholic) again.
[ 24:00] Paul- Is it harder this time around, do you remember?
Garrett- This time I’ve got 16 days. I’m trying to arm myself with some resources. I’m in a Pink Cloud at the moment. History does repeat itself, and I have a plan to address what I know is going to start coming down the road. The key thing is accountability. I never had accountability with another person. I think if I were not anonymous, I wouldn’t have taken that first drink on the New Port Harbor cruise after 14 months of sobriety.
[27:57] Paul- You mentioned you had a bad experience with AA, tell me more about that.
Garrett- I was raised Christian evangelical, about 10 years ago I broke with that, and I am an atheist now. I saw a lot of the judgment, dogma and there was trust that was broken in AA. That combined with the God thing I’m still wrestling with. I need to focus on the positive. I’m ready to explore going back to AA, maybe a different meeting time.
[30:14] Paul- With 16 days of sobriety, what have you learned most about yourself?
Garrett- This time around is more of a sense of inner peace. What I’m realizing now is that I don’t have to keep living the way I was living. There’s no reason I have to pick up a drink again. My life does not have to be how it’s been. I’m choosing not to drink. When cravings strike, I’ve been setting a timer on my apple watch to allow the 20 minutes to pass.
[34:10] Rapid Fire Round
Waking up and having to tell my wife that I was too hung-over to go down to my mom’s house for Easter. Then spending the entire day in a state of despair.
Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 08 Feb 2021 | RE 312: Alcohol Abuse & Eating Disorders | 00:54:43 | |
Holly took her last drink on January 4, 2007. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.
Odette and Holly met in treatment. In 2013, they went to Montecatini together to work on their eating disorders. Odette believed that if she could stop her obsession with food and reach a healthy weight, she would be normal. However, she didn’t address the emotional reasons behind her eating disorder. A few years later, she found herself using alcohol as her new coping mechanism. The behaviors that led to her unhealthy relationship with food mirrored the behaviors of her relationship with alcohol.
Up to 35% of people who abused alcohol also have an eating disorder. This rate is 11 times greater than the general population.
For more information on these statistics, see: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
The stigma for eating disorders is greater than the stigma for alcohol use disorder, so many people struggle in silence.
Odette believes the only way out is through.
Get to the root cause of your addiction. Be aware of co-occurring addictions. Don’t run away from your feelings or numb them with a substance. Find a community. Get professional help. When seeking help, be specific. Find a therapist specializing in addiction, whether it is alcohol, food, drugs, or whatever else. Get specific.
Don’t feel perpetually stuck in addiction whack-a-mole. We can do hard things.
[9:14] Odette introduces Holly
Holly took her last drink on January 4, 2007. Holly is from Montana. She moved to Southern California over 15 years ago for graduate school. She currently works for Mental Health Systems as an employment specialist, helping those with behavioral health issues get employment. On the weekends, she works for a rehab in San Diego as a rehab specialist. Holly has fun playing games. Codeword is her latest favorite. She also enjoys listening to books, music and hanging out with her dog Hannay.
[11:56] Tell me about your history with drinking
Holly started experimenting with alcohol in college. She grew up in a conservative home. She was allowed to drink with adults present, but her family was traditional with alcohol use. Holly didn’t drink in high school. She was a rule follower.
Her drinking took off when she was 21, when it was legal and escalated after her engagement. She attended Fuller Theological Seminary, intending to become a Presbyterian minister. She drank heavily every day and hid her drinking.
[13:39] Did you start questioning your drinking habits at that time?
When Holly lived in Montana, she drank like everyone else. When she moved to California, she would order two drinks at a time and was starting to understand that wasn’t normal. She needed a drink before she went out and then went home afterward to drink alone. She isolated and that isolation led to depression. Alcohol exacerbated the depression. Toward the end of her drinking, she was put on several psychiatric holds (5150).
[15:17] Were you rationalizing your drinking as something sophisticated?
On paper, Holly was very functional. She was a straight-A student, on the Dean’s list, she held to part-time jobs. She aced Hebrew.
[16:40] Did you have a therapist? Was your therapist able to discern the alcohol issues from the depression issues?
Holly had a therapist and kept drinking. She hid her drinking from her therapist. She was annoyed that her therapist occasionally suggested her attending a meeting.
[17:33] Walk me through the progression of your drinking.
Holly noted that two years after moving to California, she couldn’t stop drinking. She would wake up in the morning and drink to recover from the night before. She also struggled with an Eating disorder. Alcohol was the only calories she could keep in her body. She was physically and mentally depleting.
She had suicidal ideations and felt if she got rid of herself, she would solve the problems she caused others. She had several suicide attempts due to alcohol, poor nutrition, and depression.
[18:58] How long did that cycle last?
Holly’s drinking continued for two years. On January 3, her therapist said she didn’t sound right and told her to go immediately to the hospital. Holly knew she couldn’t drive, so she walked toward the hospital. She consumed a pint of Vodka, a handful of Xanax and was mugged on the way to the hospital.
She went missing for several hours. The Pasadena police called her Mom in Montana asking, are you Mom? They told her Mom they couldn’t find Holly. When Holly came to, she walked back to her apartment that has search dogs and an ambulance. She was placed on a 72-hour psych hold, which became a 14-day hold. She was released early because her Dad came down from Montana to take her to rehab.
[21:02] How many holds did you have?
Holly said, five or six, and she was still in denial. She was in rehab for 97 days, and it took her until Day 45 to acknowledge she had a bit of a drinking problem. She admitted to depression and an eating disorder, but not alcohol.
[22:07] What was it about alcohol that made it difficult for you to admit you had a problem?
Holly said that alcohol was such a part of her lifestyle that it seemed normal. Her view of an alcoholic was a homeless person on the street with a bottle in a brown bag. She had extreme denial that it was a problem.
[23:08] Tell me more about when you went to rehab?
Holly attended rehab in San Clemente, CA. It was a 12 Step based program. She was scared. Forty-five days into rehab, she begrudgingly got a sponsor. She was asked, “are you willing to do whatever it takes?” That temporary sponsor was with her for 7.5 years. Holly is grateful to her sponsor, her family, and all of the rehab staff who had to put up with her attitude.
On family weekend, her Dad was crying when he told Holly what he saw when he came to put her in rehab. There were alcohol bottles and diet pills strewn about her apartment. Nobody knew how bad she was because she only reported the good news, from her grades to her two jobs. Seeing the pain in her father’s eyes snapped her into awareness.
[27:08] Did you realize your body was withdrawing from alcohol?
Holly said she had no recall of the first several days because she had overdosed. She later learned that her blood alcohol level was toxically high. The doctors said it was amazing she pulled through. Holly believes from her faith that angels were watching over her, and that is why she is still with us.
[28:19] What happened after you left rehab. How was it adjusting to the real world?
Holly said she did a lot of work but knew she had to take one day at a time. In early recovery, she leveraged AA, her sponsor, and plenty of therapy. Holly said connections, connections, connections – that was her saving grace. She began to lean in on other sobriety tools like the Recovery Elevator podcast. She returned to grad school and added recovery ministry to her curriculum. Her heart changed, and there was an ego shift that allowed her to focus on recovery ministry, sharing her recovery tools with others who struggle with addiction. She still takes it one day at a time, and her recovery isn’t perfect. Now she can hold space for others.
[31:12] Did your eating disorder progress after you stopped drinking?
Holly said she exchanged one obsession for another. Her addictive brain focused on alcohol, then alcohol plus food, trauma. Her recovery has not been a straight line but rather a windy pathway. She realized variety, moderation and balance are essential in her life, but moderation is not an option with alcohol. She has infinite possibilities without alcohol.
[34:33] How do you handle difficult emotions now?
Holly said she has to reach out to talk to people, or she is in trouble. If she starts to isolate from family and friends, it’s a red flag.
[37:00] Tell me how you transitioned into the recovery industry?
Holly said after graduating, she felt a pull to help others. She began helping people in recovery homes and believes her past was a calling for her to hold space for others.
She practices playing the tape through regularly to avoid the insanity of her thoughts. She knows she is not going to drink, just for today. She believes in affirmations to rewire her neuropathways.
[45:38] How has your recovery evolved over time?
Holly remains involved in her 12-step program, but her mind has shifted from, I have to, to I get to. She continues to work with a therapist and connects with other people in recovery.
[49:17] Rapid Fire Round
Stay in the present, don’t worry about the past. You are loved.
Everyone has a past, don’t cast judgment. It’s about what you are doing today.
Diet Coke or Coke Zero with a splash of lemonade.
Connection, 12-steps, mental health support groups, quit lit, friends, and family.
Be gentle with yourself and know there are people who want to support you. No matter what, you have worth, value and you are loved.
You may have to say Adios to booze if …
You finish your whiskey, and you yell at the bartender, “same ice” because you don’t want the marinated ice to go down the drain.
Odette’s weekly challenge:
This journey should make you feel lighter and propel you toward the life you deserve. Let this be the best experiment in your life, the path back to yourself. Challenges are lessons, not obstacles. We can fail forward into beautiful things. You are not alone, together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys” | |||
| 17 Dec 2018 | RE 200: The Cure to Addiction | 00:56:40 | |
Walter, with 2½ years since his last drink, shares his story…
SHOW NOTES
[16:19] Paul Introduces Walter.
[19:22] Give us a little background about your drinking.
[25:15] At what point did your drinking partner relationship turn?
[29:40] Did you try to moderate? Did you experience a rock bottom moment?
[34:11] How did you know that this time would be different?
[37:45] What did early recovery look like for you?
[40:49] What was the Peru trip like for you?
[45:48] What is your recovery like after 2 years?
[50:50] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 31 Jul 2023 | RE 441: Connection With a Molecule | 00:44:13 | |
Episode 441 – Connection With a Molecule
Today we have Shane, he is 39 from Birmingham, AL and took his last drink on December 25th, 2021.
[00:58] Highlights from Paul:
Many of us share the same response to our first drink. It’s a firework show internally that connects the missing dots. We finally feel connected. Alcohol becomes our best friend.
Now do not beat yourself up if you find yourself in a tightly intertwined relationship with alcohol. Humans are pack animals and need connection to survive. We need partnership. As addiction guru Dr. Gabor Mate would say, congratulations, you found alcohol, you found a way to survive. Yes, there is the disease model, but there’s also the unease model. A deep unrest or lack of connection with others and ourselves.
How do we fix this? Like we learned in last week’s episode, it’s robust social connections that fix this. Some of us have difficulty making deep connections with other human beings but connection with nonhuman souls can help us quit drinking too. Animals help us release oxytocin and serotonin; they help our nervous systems relax. Studies show plants and trees can do the same thing.
To summarize, we connected with a molecule. Which ended up being the most dangerous and addictive molecule thus far recorded, and there is plenty of data to back that up. So, what’s next? Start building connections with other people, places, and things, like your life depends on it. Because it does.
We have a new sponsor! Check out Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.
[08:12] Paul introduces Shane:
Shane is 39 years old, currently lives outside of Birmingham, AL. He is married with two children. He works in the heavy truck parts industry. He has been playing guitar since he was 15.
Shane had no interest in drinking prior to trying it on a beach trip with friends when he was 20. Shane was surround by alcohol while working as a musician and in the service industry. He found that alcohol made it easier for him to talk to and socialize with people. He first recognized that he might have a problem when he realized he was starting to rely on alcohol to alleviate any stress he was having. He met his wife while they were working on a music album together.
Shane started having increasing anxiety and his drinking issues were becoming more apparent to those around him. He was given an ultimatum by his wife to quit drinking. He was able to quit drinking for about five years.
Shane’s father passed away and he ended up taking over the business abruptly. At this point he had already relapsed and would have a series of stops and starts utilizing different programs, but nothing ever stuck. Shortly after his daughter was born Shane made his most recent attempt at recovery after some conversations with his wife. He started attending AA three times a week and this was the first time that he admitted to himself that he could not control this. Shane says he felt huge relief when he realized that.
Shane says that within the first six months of sobriety his sleep improved, he was able to do more by not planning his life around alcohol. Exercise has been very helpful to Shane as well. He is open with friends and family around his recovery and has no issues being around alcohol. Shane feels the next step for him is leaning into the service aspect of recovery.
Shane’s favorite resources in recovery: RE podcast, AA, SMART Recovery
Shane’s parting piece of guidance: “just stop drinking”
Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee
Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.
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| 12 Nov 2018 | RE 195: What Should the Bottle Say? | 00:47:58 | |
Corey, with 5 days since his last drink, shares his story…
SHOW NOTES
[8:48] Paul Introduces Corey. [13:31] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started to drink a lot more during years in college. He started to experiment with weed in high school. He began to drink or party when he should have been studying. He didn’t realize there was something wrong at the time. He used his computer to avoid academic responsibilities. He was okay with it as long as he continued to deliver on his academic duties. He felt like he coasted through college and also began to coast through his first jobs. He found himself in the same behavioral patterns. He didn’t know where he was or what he was doing. He lost a romantic partner because of his partying. He drowned his feelings with drinking. The feelings came back up after a few months. He was caught in a weekly cycle of drinking and depression. He used a notebook to think out loud and he wrote down that he wanted to quit drinking and smoking to be comfortable with who he was. He devised a plan. Last year he tried to knock out one of the three (weed, tobacco and alcohol). He was so focused on change that he was able to quit tobacco. Before a family trip he felt suddenly depressed. He began to drink alcohol to try and cope with his feelings. [22:10] How were you able to quit all 3?
[29:51] How will you manage your drinking on your upcoming trip to Maine?
[32:48] What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
[37:46] How have you been getting past cravings?
[39:03] What is on your bucket list in sobriety?
[40:34] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Support for this episode is brought to you by RiaHealth.com. Visit Riahealth.com/elevator and enter the coupon ELEVATOR for $25 off your first month.
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 25 Jun 2018 | RE 175: Anxiety and Alcohol | 00:57:23 | |
Alcohol and Anxiety
SHOW NOTES
[11:40] Paul Introduces Chris.
[13:40] What is camping like now that you don't drink?
[16:00] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking?
[23:55] Did you ever have a rock bottom moment? How much were you drinking? [31:38] Will you share a little of what you learned in your outpatient program?
[37:15] Where did you get the strength to move forward?
[45:42] What have you learned most about yourself in sobriety?
[46:20] What's on your bucket list in sobriety?
[47:51] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: This Naked Mind – a book by Annie Grace Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 14 May 2018 | RE 169: Has Addiction Always Been a Problem? | 00:48:00 | |
Has addiction always been a problem?
SHOW NOTES
[9:50] Paul Introduces Caroline.
Caroline is from New Zealand, 40 years old, married and a mother of three. She enjoys reading, she is the new owner of a pub.
[11:15] When did you first suspect that you had a problem with drinking?
[14:25] Did you ever try to quit prior to your successful attempt? Did you moderate or put rules into place?
[16:00] Was your drinking tied in with your depression? How were they linked?
[17:17] Did you experience a rock bottom moment?
[21:00] How did you quit? What were your first few days like?
[26:06] Can you think of an example in early sobriety in which you had to try a new coping mechanism?
[27:35] Walk us through a typical day in your sobriety. How are you going to get to year 2?
[28:45] Why is it important to have those real life connections?
[37:30] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts – a book by Gabor Maté Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!” | |||
| 20 Jan 2020 | RE 257: I Quit Drinking... Now What? | 00:47:44 | |
Bianca took her last drink on October 3, 2018. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Registration is now open for the 2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind. The event will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today’s episode Paul talks about the process of rediscovering what you like to do, after ditching the booze, and to let it happen organically. He encourages you to engage in activities where you find yourself in a ‘flow state’, or ‘in the zone’. Instead of focusing on new hobbies and fun activities, try to find things where you almost lose yourself.
[7:30] Paul introduces Bianca.
Bianca is 22 years old and is from Austin, TX. She recently graduated from college and is working for a temp agency while she looks for that full time job. Bianca lives with her girlfriend. For fun Bianca spends her time reading and in nature.
[13:40] Give us a background on your drinking.
Bianca didn’t really drink while in high school, but in college she went wild. She tried to moderate during her freshman year by documenting everything she did that involved alcohol. That didn’t work. The following year, 2016, she started doing drugs along with drinking. Bianca does not remember much from her junior year. By the beginning of her senior year (2018) she had a lot of things on her plate and her drinking was still up there.
Bianca says she had a lot of little rock bottoms that finally accumulated into her big rock bottom, which happened on October 3.
[17:40] What happened on October 3?
Bianca and some friends went out to get something to eat. What started out as just one drink escalated to the point that one of her friends took her wallet away from her. They went to a liquor store after that, and Bianca ended up at home, alone, taking shots. She met up with her friends a little later, still sneaking double shots. Bianca stumbled home and after mixing more drugs with the alcohol she passed out. The following morning she woke up hating herself.
[25:00] What was that first month like?
On October 4th Bianca texted the hotline and did what they told her to do, she got rid of her booze and hid her drugs. She says the first few days and nights were tough. She would come home from class and cry. She was having intense nightmares and the shakes. She now feels like she gets a clarity upgrade every 3 months.
[28:10] What was is like getting sober at 22?
Bianca says she actually got sober at 21 and celebrated her 22nd birthday sober. She says it was hard, that there is a big drinking culture in Austin, TX.
[32:00] What was harder, coming out as gay, or as someone with a drinking problem??
Bianca says both were hard. She came out as gay at a very young age. The hard part about telling someone she had a problem with drinking was the shame she felt.
[33:20] What are you working on right now?
Bianca says she is really working on her self-worth and showing up for herself.
[36:20] Have you ever explored why you drank?
Bianca said she has explored that with her therapist. She says growing up her family fell into the victims, of victims, of victims. She wasn’t taught very good coping skills.
[39:20] Rapid Fire Round
That I’m responsible for my recovery and nobody else.
The ability to really feel my emotions and to be surprised.
Water.
Definitely my sponsor, for sure. Meetings and AA literature.
Travel overseas sober.
I would tell you all to slow down, as slow as you can go, and to feel your emotions.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
You buy over $200 worth of alcohol and it is confiscated within 3 days by a good friend.
Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here.
Resources mentioned in this episode: BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
SkillShare Get two months of premium membership for free at www.shillshare.com/elevator That’s two whole months of unlimited access to thousands of classes for free.
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this.”
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| 11 Nov 2019 | RE 247: Is Alcohol to Blame for Bad Behavior? | 00:50:05 | |
Jody took her last drink on October 20, 2015. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! On today’s episode Paul shares with the listeners the many (12) steps, and team members, it takes to put a podcast episode together. And listeners…you are part of the team! Paul also covers an article he came across that talks about the relationship between alcohol and antisocial behavior is well documented. You can find a link to the article here.
The question is, can we blame our bad behavior on the alcohol? The study in this article says no. Alcohol, according to the study, does not change your personality. Drunken you has the same moral compass as sober you.
[10:20] Paul introduces Jody.
Jody is 30 years old and lives in Orlando, Florida. She is a flight attendant and a mindset and transformation coach. Jody is not married and does not have any kids, yet. She loves to travel, read, cook, and do yoga.
[13:25] Give us a background on your drinking.
Jody was introduced to alcohol her freshman year of college. She found that alcohol helped her social anxiety. After graduating from college, she thought she would leave the binge drinking behind. That didn’t happen. She continued to drink and smoke and have blackouts, and this frustrated Jody.
[17:15] Can you dive deeper into your frustration?
She moved back home and that addiction followed her. It helped her find people that made her feel normal. Once she decided she wanted to become a flight attendant she knew she would have to stop smoking because they drug test you. So, she did, and she got the job. During this time Jody started drinking more and drinking alone.
[22:40] Get us up to speed, did you try to moderate, was there a rock bottom moment?
When she started drinking alone, she tried to make rules and moderate, always breaking the rules. The voice inside got really loud and she started to believe that the world would be a better place without her. She felt her problem was too big. This is when she started to listen to the Recovery Elevator podcast. She got a new therapist and at the age of 27 she identified herself as an alcoholic, a word she does not use anymore.
[24:30] Tell me your thinking on not using the word alcoholic anymore?
Jody feels very passionate about this…this feels it’s a very dangerous and harmful term to use.
[27:40] Bring us up to October 20, 2015.
Jody says she was just sick and tired or being sick and tired.
[28:20] What happened after that?
Jody says she’s pretty much did it on her own. She took it one day at a time. Jody structured her days and it helped her stay sober and grounded.
[29:15] In the first couple months did you experience cravings, and how’d you get past them?
Jody says she made a really firm decision that she didn’t want to drink and she didn’t experience cravings.
[30:20] Share with us your biggest life lessons during the last 4 years.
Jody’s first year was dedicated to loving herself. Year 2, 3, & 4 was all about mindset. She changed the way she viewed what had happened and how alcohol was viewed in out society. This ultimately made her leave AA.
[33:40] Tell us about being a Mindset and Transformation Coach.
About a year ago Jody decided she wanted to do something to help others that want to be alcohol free. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
[38:25] You are loud and proud on social media, what has been the response?
Jody says her posts are never about her, they are about the people that need to hear it. About sharing her story for those that need to hear that message.
[43:30] Where can people get in contact with you?
You can find Jody on Instagram here.
[44:00] Rapid Fire Round
Realizing I am not my addiction, I am not what I have experienced.
Being fully present at all times.
Recently I had a spicy AF jalapeno margherita.
Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind, Alan Carr’s The Easy Way to Quit Drinking for Women, this podcast, and anyone that is loud and proud on Instagram.
I want to help as many people as I can through coaching.
Be open, and committed. Stay curious.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
If you use the layering technique in your recycling bin.
Upcoming retreats: Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020 You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Jody via Instagram @jodyventura
You Can’t Blame Alcohol for Acting Like an A-hole Anymore, Say Scientists https://www.inverse.com/article/58809-alcohol-study-does-it-change-your-personality
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this.” | |||
| 26 Jul 2021 | RE 336: Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin, & Oxytocin | 01:00:33 | |
Episode 336 - Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin
I need to admit myself somewhere. I could sit here until I’m blue in the face and until I have some humility, this is not going to work.
Today we have Susan, she’s 61, she’s from Pennsylvania and took her last drink Nov 19th, 2017. This is her story of living Alcohol Free (AF).
Events!
Paul’s Intro
Today I will share information on the 4 main chemicals we’re dealing with when we ditch the booze. I’m outline them, give a framework of how to work with these chemicals in a healthier way and a loose timeline of what to expect when you quit drinking and how these chemicals will come back into balance.
The four main players dance with an addiction are Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin.
Endorphins and dopamine are the chemicals of progress. Short-term feel-good chemicals. And Serotonin and oxytocin are the long-term chemicals.
Let’s cover the short-term molecules first: endorphins and dopamine
Endorphins - We often hear the word endorphins with exercise. And it’s true. This is the reason for the runners high. Endorphins have one purpose - to mask physical pain. Since the body doesn’t distinguish the difference between physical and emotional pain very well, this is why running, or physical movement helps us emotionally when we aren’t feeling good.
Dopamine - This is the molecule we are mostly engaged with when dealing with an addiction. This is more accurately described as the learning molecule. Dopamine is viewed as an incentive for progress. The good feeling, we get when we do something necessary for survival. Addictions highjack the dopamine system. Alcohol raises the dopamine in our brains by over 100-200% and cocaine raises it by 300%… temporarily. Then there’s a major crash.
Dopamine is highly addictive, and it should be. Human beings walked thousands of miles over the ice shelf of eastern Asia to the Americas because of dopamine. The dopamine system worked great for humans, until the world modernized faster than the system could adapt. Alcohol completely over runs this system
Long-term chemicals - These chemicals control our long-term feelings.
Serotonin - The selfless chemical. Oxytocin - The love molecule and the connection molecule.
Let’s cover how we can work with these as we ditch the booze and then I’ll give you a loose timeline of when these chemicals should start naturally emerging in your system again.
Endorphins - Keep running, keep gardening. This is a much healthier way to override the physical and emotional discomfort of quitting drinking. Also, laugh, laugh, laugh.
Dopamine - It’s important we retrain the brain to release dopamine with other activities. Pick a short-term goal. Maybe it’s learning the guitar, maybe it’s finding a species of bird in the wild, or a snake. Science shows that a spike of dopamine is released when we help other people. Dopamine is a big reason we’ve done this podcast 336 straight Monday’s.
Once we have the dopamine system cued to healthier stimuli then within time serotonin starts to naturally emerge. With this comes a sense of belonging. If we stick with it long enough, oxytocin will emerge on the scene.
The long-term chemicals are contagious. This is why we love inspiring movies that motivate us to perform our own selfless acts. This is why we cheer people on at marathons or say heck yes when we hear someone has hit an AF milestone.
Here’s a loose timeline for this:
Endorphins: within the first 24-72 hours. Dopamine: within six months, depending on your habits. Serotonin: 3-9 months. Oxytocin: 6-12 months.
This is all given that you’re doing the work.
PAWS in recovery is post-acute withdrawal symptoms. I like to call them healing symptoms because it’s the body, mind, soul, and spirit recalibrating itself without alcohol. Trust the process, stick with it, we got your back.
Let’s hear from Betterhelp. betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR
[13:52] Odette welcomes Susan
Susan’s last drink was on November 19, 2017. She feels great and every year is better. Susan is 61 and single but was previously married. She has a daughter and two grandchildren. She is from Pennsylvania. She moved to Los Angeles and lived there for thirty years. She has also lived in Colorado and is now back on the East Coast. She works for a medical device company. She loves to read novels, cooking, exercise, the beach, bike riding and TV.
[15:49] Tell us about your history with drinking
Susan described 44 years of drinking. Her first drink was at age 14 and she would sneak drinks with friends. In high school she fell in love with the bad boy of the school and did a 360 in one day. She went from straight A’s and first clarinet to a party girl. After her first pill and sips of beer, her inhibitions disappeared. She partied like everyone else. She married this bad boy very young, and they divorced at 21. She moved to California and got involved with another guy. They drank together with friends. She remarried and tried to clean up her home and life to have a family. Giving up weed was easy, but she struggled relinquishing wine. At 30, she admitted herself to a treatment center called Schick for a weekend and participated in an intensive outpatient program (IOP). She went to a few AA meetings and was able to stay away from alcohol for four months. When she returned to drinking, her drinking progressed. She was raising her daughter, working and what many would describe as a functioning alcoholic. She drank nightly, but not a lot. Over the years, she made a few attempts to quit, tried counseling and AA again, but nothing was working. She decided to accept it for what it was because she didn’t have the time to do what you must do to quit.
[21:19] What was the tipping point that made you enter treatment?
Susan’s father was an alcoholic, and she watched his drinking become progressive. She knew it could happen to her and didn’t want to become like her father. The rest of her life was healthy. She exercised and ate healthy foods and wondered how long she could continue drinking. She described feeling like two people. She was Miss Goody Two-Shoes during the day and at night she was drinking.
Susan always had faith and knew that God was protecting her but didn’t want to push the limits and hurt others. It took a while after that realization for her to attempt quitting. She had some false starts where she would try but wasn’t ready. When her second grandchild was about to arrive, she knew she had to quit because she was fearful her first granddaughter would associate Mima with wine.
She spoke with her therapist and said she felt therapy was not enough and entered an intense outpatient program because she knew until she had some humility, it wouldn’t work. Her IOP was very diverse and encountered many people with several stories. During IOP she would screw up every week. She admitted it and, on the 19th, she called her sister (who is in recovery) who calmed her down. Her sister mailed her a book called Acceptance* and she hasn’t had a drink since. She described her moment of acceptance, surrender and her daily routine of prayer and meditation.
[31:22] What were the first 90 days like?
Susan described having time to focus on herself. She then took over as the nanny for her grandson and her daughter was able to trust her with the baby. She gradually returned to work with part-time work. At a year after she became sober, she returned to corporate America. It continued to get easier with time. She enjoyed podcasts. Her dog had some health issues yet survived for six months. When he passed, she was tempted to drink, but overcame the temptation. She tries to mix up her recovery with AA meetings, podcasts, and anything to keep it interesting. She loves Café RE because it gives her the flexibility of both worlds (AA and podcasts). She now has a strong desire to help others in recovery. The peace and freedom that comes with recovery has become the best way for her to live, she can’t imagine anything better.
[40:21] What was behind drinking for you?
When looking at fears and resentments, she gained a new perspective. She realized that something else may have been going on in the moment. She learned to stop holding bad feelings and looking deep into the causes of certain things. She uncovers new things regularly. She is accepting, simplifying, and lowering her expectations. It took her years not to want more. She has more work to do and is open to the work.
[40:24] Do you still get cravings?
Susan doesn’t get physical cravings but does have memory triggers. While Christmas shopping last year, the memory of having wine at Christmas came into her head. She did some thinking, played the tape forward and it passed quickly. She does have a fear of dating because she has been single through her recovery. Self-care or “me time” will remain a priority for her to maintain sobriety.
[47:11] What are your rituals in sobriety?
Susan gets up at 5 AM and reads a novel, then does her recovery reading including daily reflections and prayers. She frequently listens to podcasts. She watches to Joel Osteen regularly because he gives her hope that there are good people in this insane world. Susan is a listener in AA meetings, she is an optimist, and she learns from others. She has become a host for AA meetings and wants to give back.
[52:17] Rapid Fire Round
Sparkling water (lime flavor) with lots of ice and mint.
Freedom and time that come with not planning how you will get your next drink.
Don’t overcomplicate it, drinking is overrated. You have more strength than you realize. Everything in life you want to accomplish will be easier without liquor. Having a clear head, mind and a simple life without the alcohol will be the beautiful things in your life.
You might need to say adios to booze if …. You stress months before the Christmas holiday about how you will cook the holiday meal and not drink all the wine in the house the night before.
Odette’s Summary
Odette recently returned from Guadalajara and while she was there, she celebrated her father’s 12th sober birthday. They attended an AA meeting together and she heard him tell his story. She saw herself in his words. We all walk alongside each other. We the same lessons to learn, hurt to heal and joy to find. Seeing her dad as a parent and fellow in recovery was challenging, but she left the meeting hopeful that we are all human, doing the best that we can. Odette is grateful for the Café RE community that helps each other navigate the world, feel understood and gives us a sense of belonging.
Remember you are not alone. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
Today’s Sponsor
BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH! T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never know the light - I love you guys” | |||
| 06 Feb 2023 | RE 416: The AF Beverage | 00:55:44 | |
Episode 416 – The AF Beverage
Today we have Mike, he is 59 from Newport, OR and took his last drink on 1/27/2022.
Shout out to one of our sponsors - SoberLink – click the link for a promo code for RE listeners.
Our six week Sober Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele starts this Saturday! There is still time to sign up. If you need a ukulele, use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off.
Thank you Café RE chat hosts! You do an amazing job!
[01:34] Highlights from Paul:
When quitting drinking, the thinking mind creates 99 problems or obstacles, but what to drink when we ditch the booze shouldn’t be one of them. Exploring AF beverages in recovery should be fun.
Paul gives us the three key pillars (the drink, the temperature, and the glass/cup) along with many great tips on combining these elements to make the perfect AF drink.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[10:31] Kris introduces Mike:
Mike has been sober for 323 days at the time of recording. He lives on the Oregon coast and after leaving the restaurant business three years ago, he now manages a deli. He enjoys writing and walking on the beach which he lives very close to.
Mike started working in the restaurant business as a cook at the age of 15-16 years old. He says that alcohol comes with the restaurant industry. It was customary to drink with customer and coworkers, it was part of day to day life. No one really commented on his drinking because his family was on the west coast and he was attending college on the east coast. Everyone he associated with at the time drank as well.
He did some soul searching after he had gotten a divorce and took some time away from alcohol, but it was hard to sustain. The long hours and drinking we beginning to take a toll on him mentally and physically. He started making rules around his drinking but always broke them.
When he was 40, he got married again and they had a child. He says alcohol was a problem in his relationships and was starting to affect his job as well. He tried outpatient rehab and attending AA on his own but when that didn’t repair the marriage, he stopped going. His drinking increased and he got a few DUIs that included court ordered meetings and counseling. He was just checking the boxes by going, but ended up learning things on the way even though he wasn’t ready to quit drinking. He enjoys research and looks at that as time he used to research quitting drinking. He reflected on his journals that he has kept throughout his life and realized that he has always had issues with alcohol but didn’t listen.
He joined Café RE in September of 2021 after his girlfriend found Recovery Elevator and suggested it to Mike. He feels that quitting drinking this time is his choice which has made all the difference for him.
When Mike first started his current AF journey, he would keep track of any cravings that he would have in a notebook that he carried with him. He says by the time he finished writing it down the craving had mostly left. His friends know he has quit which has made socializing much easier. He enjoys AF beer and isn’t bothered by being around alcohol at events and when out playing pool.
Writing and processing his thoughts has been an instrumental tool for Mike in recovery. He works on his sobriety every single day and shares his reflections with the community daily since he quit.
[52:00] Kris’ outro:
Kris reflects on “sandpaper people”. This quote from the book Us by Terrence Real helped him change his responses and reactions to these types of people. Even subtle positive energy can have an impact on those around me.
“This world does not belong to us; we belong to on another”.
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Thanks for being here RE and remember, We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys
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| 15 Apr 2024 | RE 478: Unlocking Curiosity | 00:56:26 | |
Episode 478 – Unlocking Curiosity
Today we have Cyndi. She is 54 and lives in Denver, Colorado. She took her last drink on December 10th, 2023.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[02:08] Thoughts from Kris:
Kris shares how recovery has ignited his curiosity. While drinking, he didn’t step out of his comfort zone very much and feels he was perfection driven to offset the dumpster fire that was happening with his drinking. He didn’t feel safe not being good at things, so he never tried.
Since in recovery, Kris has taken up a plethora of hobbies, most recently welding. His garage now houses evidence of his hobbies and creating new things rather than the massive amount of empties from when he isolated in there with alcohol.
Kris now embraces his curiosity and lets himself fail as he learns new things.
When asked what they like to do for fun, many interviewees respond that they are still trying to figure that out and that’s normal as we can become immersed in the drinking life and it’s hard to find time for anything else.
What do you like to do for fun? What have you gotten back in sobriety? Or what would you like to be able to do? What’s holding you back? If you’re still in it, is there something that you could use as fuel or motivation?
Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.
[8:56] Kris introduces Cyndi:
Cyndi is 54 years old and lives in Denver with her husband, cat, and dog. She has worked in the dental industry for the last 35 years and enjoys playing outside with her dog, hiking, camping, and cooking.
Cyndi’s first real exposure to alcohol was when she was 15. She was at a party where she worked and drank a lot of beer trying to keep up with everyone. Even though she was sick a few days afterwards, she was not deterred and found drinking fun.
Cyndi says she was “successful” at drinking for many years, but around 2019 she attended IOP but says it didn’t stop her. Her drinking soon created issues in the marriage, finding them separating from each other for periods of time and trying to use different tools to help Cyndi quit. After a particularly rough time, she started going to AA. She would be able to get a few months at a time and finally was able to achieve two years. Cyndi’s toxic job started taking over her life and she gradually stopped working on her sobriety which found her relapsing and starting the on again off again cycle again.
The relapse happens long before the first drink, Cyndi feels. Work started replacing meetings. Her husband was noticing that she was more tired and unhappy, and she was starting to spend more time isolating herself from him because she was drinking again. Eventually her drinking would lead to Cyndi losing her job and found her husband working on divorce papers. They ended up having a long talk about their situations and Cyndi started working hard on recovery again.
Cyndi ended up finding a much better job and she is now attending five meetings a week and has a new sponsor. This new job is much closer to where she lives and the meetings she likes to attend are on the same route as work. Cyndi has started therapy which she had never done before. Communication with her husband is better than it has ever been. Her faith is also stronger than it has ever been.
Cyndi’s plan in sobriety moving forward: to be proactive, have a check list of things that help her stay sober.
Cyndi’s parting piece of guidance: don’t quit quitting. Acknowledge your problem and get help one way or the other and just keep going.
[51:44] Outro:
Kris shares a song that he came across recently: Hi Ren
Whether we’re fighting with ourselves, or others, when we’re in that dark place we can’t really win. BUT we can learn. We can find a way to be healthy and bring love and light into the world.
Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.
Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone I love you guys. | |||
| 13 Apr 2020 | RE 269: “Nolo” Drinks - NA Beers and Kombucha | 00:52:07 | |
Derek took his last drink August 22, 2019. This is his story. On today’s episode Paul talks about what a Nolo drink is, non-alcoholic beers, and kombucha…and whether, or not, we should stay away from them if they have trace amounts of alcohol. He also talks about the roll, if any, that cannabis and plant medicine play in recovery. Paul also explains about some of the changes taking place with Café RE. Sone of the changes is, starting on May 1st, 15% of the membership fees will dedicated towards a partnership with a non-profit organization that is geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The link to the article where Paul gets his information from can be found here.
[15:35] Paul introduces Derek.
Derek is 35-year-old and is from New York City, currently living in Philadelphia, and is a real estate agent. Derek loves riding his bike and playing ping pong.
[18:42] Give us a background on your drinking.
Derek started drinking when he was 13 years old, drinking on the streets of New York. Derek realized that he loved the feeling of being out of control. When Derek was 17 years old his father was killed in the World Trade Center and he used alcohol to cover up those feelings. Alcohol helped him get through those brutal moments and became like his best friend. He says he continued to drink like that up until 6 months ago (his sobriety date) and those feelings are all coming back up.
[21:00] When did you start to realize that alcohol was not working for you?
Derek said it was about 3 years ago. The negative started to outweigh the positive.
[23:14] What happened when you realized this? Derek said he started keeping track on a calendar of his drinking days, verses his non-drinking days. He tried to slow down. He started making negotiations with himself, like not drinking during the week, only drinking beer. One very drunk night he realized that he just had to stop, that moderation did not work for him.
[27:35] Why do you think willpower flew out the window when you were drinking?
Derek said that when he took that first sip he was no longer in control. He said it was like a monster that lived inside of him and every time he let it out, he was no longer in control.
[32:33] Talk to us about that moment you stopped drinking, and how you did it.
Derek said the first couple days were easy because he had such a bad hangover, but the first weekend was tough because he didn’t know what to do, that he had not gone a weekend without drinking in years and years. He said what he started to do was start to do the things he enjoyed again. He started to play the piano and guitar again, started to workout again.
[35:30] How did you do it after the first week?
Derek says he started watching YouTube videos of people that had gotten sober. He found the Recovery Elevator app…and then the podcast.
[37:20] What are some of the emotions you are facing now that you are no longer drinking?
Derek said that in a way he had never dealt with losing his dad in the way he had. He recently got married and could not share that with his father.
[38:10] What is important to you in life?
Derek says his health is one of the most important things to him. He said that also that just who he is, is important to him. Drinking made him a liar and selfish, and that has changed a lot. He now tries to be a better person overall.
[38:50] What are some strategies you use now, instead of drinking?
Derek says that exercise is big, he wakes up early to exercise. He has started using a steam sauna, ping pong, biking, outdoor activities. Derek also said that talking to other people that have similar stories, that he had just attended his first meeting.
[39:40] What roll has your wife played in this?
Derek said that his wife stopped drinking with him and that she has been his biggest supporter.
[43:30] Rapid Fire Round
That I am stronger than I thought I was.
My friends, my social circle…what would I do, I wouldn’t have anyone.
Coffee or seltzer.
Your podcast, I’m not just trying to blow smoke, it’s really helped me a lot.
To stay alcohol free is the number one thing, and I would like to travel again.
It’s never going to happen to me.
Just do it.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
You think you might need to ditch the booze.
Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 You can find more information about our event here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this.”
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| 24 Apr 2023 | RE 427: But a Symptom | 00:47:50 | |
Episode 427 – But a Symptom
Today we have Ian, he is 24, from Baltimore, MD and he has been alcohol free since December 26, 2022.
What are you doing for Memorial Day? You should join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta! We have an event for Café RE members on Saturday and then Sunday night we have a conference style event that everyone is invited to attend. Information about the Sunday night event can be found here. Café RE members can get more information through the members website if they are interested in the weekend event.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
[02:15] Thoughts from Paul:
If alcohol isn’t the primary problem, and it’s a symptom of something else, what does that mean, and what course of action do we take? None of us are able to correct the unrest in our lives when alcohol is present. That’s why moderate drinking for the problematic drinker doesn’t work either.
For Paul, after he ditched the booze, he recognized that his nervous system needed healing and found that nature was a great help with addressing that. Everyone is different and their sources of unrest that need addressing will be different but first, the alcohol needs to go and then the healing can begin. We get one life, and your addiction is about to springboard you towards your authentic self – if you are willing. You may be asking yourself “am I willing?”…If you are listening to this podcast, the answer is yes.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[10:47] Paul introduces Ian:
Ian took his last drink on Christmas Day of 2022. He lives in Baltimore and is a recent college grad. In his free time, he fosters senior dogs and plays music. He finds taking care of animals at the end of their lives to be very rewarding and helpful in his recovery.
Ian wasn’t exposed to alcohol until he was in college. He was in his junior year when he started drinking and smoking pot. He had roommates that were drinking like he was at parties and on the weekends, but Ian was starting to be sneaky and would purchase his own alcohol separate from the alcohol that was present in the house and didn’t want anyone to know how much he was actually drinking. The blackouts started becoming more and more frequent.
When he was 20, he started planning his entire days around drinking and smoking. Work and school became minor activities and drinking was priority. Throughout all of this Ian was still successful so he didn’t see his drinking as a problem.
Early 2020 Ian experienced withdrawal for the first time and it scared him. He initially didn’t realize what it was and was scared he was going to die. For the first time, he acknowledged his drinking had become an issue.
After several trips to the ER, he ended up speaking with a peer counselor who helped him get involved with an Intensive Outpatient Program. Ian was able to get sober for two months but was ashamed of what he was doing and ended up leaving. He relapsed and had a bad Christmas with his family. He has learned that it is more embarrassing to have a drinking problem than it is to work on getting sober.
Ian says being transparent with people was the game changer for him. Letting everyone know that he is sober helps him stay accountable.
Being a young person in sobriety can feel a little lonely Ian says. Our culture normalizes drinking in our twenties and it’s hard to connect with others in recovery because most people are older. In spite of the feelings of missing out or “why me” thinking, Ian knows that this is the right choice for him.
Ian is looking forward to achieving newfound career goals, being a better dog dad and someday having a family. He is excited to fully find his confidence and be the best version of himself he can possibly be.
Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up I love you guys And don’t forget that we definitely can do this | |||
| 01 Nov 2021 | RE 350: What's up Holidays | 00:57:16 | |
Episode 350 – What’s up holidays?
Today we have Blazik. He is 28, from Kansas, and took his last drink on July 25,2021.
Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café RE members’ only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditations, and breakout rooms. Go to www. Recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity for more info.
Café RE just made a $5149 donation to the McShin Foundation. 10% of all Café RE monthly memberships go towards a nonprofit geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The McShin Foundation helps those struggling with addiction get access to detox facilities, sober living, transitional recovery houses and more. https://mcshin.org/
Highlights from Paul
Paul addresses the gauntlet of challenges coming up in the next sixty days, specifically Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. The holidays often spike anxiety. Paul suggests it’s time to create a game plan to enjoy your first of many AF holidays.
Challenges create opportunities. There is an opportunity to rewrite the script and create a new norm for the holidays. There are opportunities for self-love, self-reflection, self-care and putting the self aside. There are also opportunities for connection. Building deeper human connections requires us to exercise our vulnerability muscles. This is an opportunity to be less reactive, go with the flow and practice mindfulness. It is also a great time to be of service and give without expecting anything in return. It is an opportunity to set boundaries with yourself, your loved ones, and people in the supermarket. There is also an opportunity of the unknown, a time of repose and perhaps a chance to address loneliness.
Paul believes you can do this. It starts with how you view it. Simply reframing challenges to opportunities is a great start. Lean in on this podcast, Café RE or whatever it takes so you do not go through this alone. Willpower is not enough to stay sober. Paul will provide more tools to help you build a game plan. This year is your opportunity to enjoy sober holidays.
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[9:47] Blazik took his last drink on July 25, 2021. He is 28, single and has his own podcast. He makes videos, music and is learning the guitar. He spends a lot of time burning energy with his dog so he can enjoy down time.
Blazik experienced anxiety through his childhood. He was high performing as an athlete and homecoming king. He acted like the person he wanted to be but was filled with anxiety. He drank to overcome anxiety and drinking made the feeling go away temporarily. Alcohol made him feel and act the way he wanted to. From age 17-27 he drank daily.
The effects of alcohol began to take their toll on him physically. He woke up regularly at 2-3AM with heart palpitations or anxiety attacks. He couldn’t overcome the fatigue without drinking again. He listened to several episodes of the RE podcast and decided to explore not drinking. He went 38 days on his first attempt to get sober. He drank again and found himself drinking when he didn’t want to, but he had to feel like himself. He loved the instant fix.
Blazik says that concerts, vibing and dancing are still fun AF, and you can remember the event! He is really enjoying learning to be present. He loves looking and stars and listening to music. He has learned that he doesn’t need alcohol to be creative or to make music.
Kris’s Summary
Kris talks about control and rejection. If he lives for the approval of others, he will die from their rejection, and exhausted from the chase. He is working on being authentically himself and that he is enough.
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
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| 18 May 2020 | RE 274: I Feel Your Pain | 00:50:37 | |
Jeff took his last drink February 8, 2020. With 65 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). On today’s episode Paul opens discussing emotions. How it’s ok to feel all of them and how they help us to grow. In order to shift stagnant energy inside all of us, we have to talk about our emotions. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to vent out your emotions and break off little pieces of frustration. Are you looking to explore deeper your decision to live alcohol free and are already a Café RE member? If so, sign up for the six week course starting May 19th entitled: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set up fee. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here. [12:08] Paul introduces Jeff. Jeff is 29 years old, lives in Tampa, FL. He is a plumber. He doesn’t have a family, yet! He likes to hang out with his dog Bo and go fishing, camping and attend sporting events. [13:58] What’s your favorite alcohol free drink? Cherry Coke. [15:13] Give us a background on your drinking Jeff started drinking around the age of 15 with anything he could get his hands on. He remembers being 5 years old and having a sip of his father’s drink. He is the youngest of 3 and when he would visit his older siblings in college, their friends would slip his drinks, as young as at the age of 11. Drinking was just what you did when you got older, it was part of being an adult. Everyone seemed to enjoy drinking, so he should too. In college he joined a fraternity and it again drinking was just what everyone did, it was part of the culture of college and he went along for the ride. However at the age of 22, Jeff realized that stopping drinking might be the better choice for him. [19:52] What were the circumstances at 22 that made you think to stop drinking? Jeff said it was the physical effects of alcohol on his mind and body. He always felt like he could be doing more in life and alcohol was holding him back. [21:45] Fill in the gaps from age 22 to 29 (7 years) as you were building awareness around your drinking. Jeff began working as a Sam Adams beer rep out of New Orleans/Baton Rouge, LA. At any given time there were 15 cases of beer in his home. Part of the job was sampling beers, so loading up a cooler full of beer every day and sampling with 10 different customers wasn’t out of the norm. The idea that something Jeff felt was in his way, but also his paycheck was difficult to reconcile. In 2015 Jeff began trying to moderate his alcohol intake. He didn’t keep much alcohol in the house, but he found when he did drink, he couldn’t stop. [23:46] Can you talk more about when you say, “Once you start it’s hard to stop”? Jeff described his drinking like a firework. Light the fuse, it shoots up, it’s great for 8/9 hours and then it blows up. His emotions would often get out of control. The days following his drinking were awful emotionally as well. No energy or mind power to do anything. [25:22] Was there a rock bottom moment? Jeff said the first rock bottom moment was in 2012. After a day of drinking, he completely lost it; throwing away his wallet, trashing the apartment he shared with a roommate, quitting his job via email with 2 hours notice. 65 days ago, after three weeks of not drinking, he had a beer and the next day got sick. He knew it was the alcohol and used those 4 days being sick as a springboard to make the change to fully living a life without alcohol.
[27:28] After those initial 4 days, how did you do it? One day at a time. Jeff said he would call old friends, not to talk about drinking, but just to talk. He would exercise, cook and focus on doing all the things he wanted to do that alcohol was holding him back from doing. Also journaling and feeling his emotions again. [30:34] Talk to us about how you are embracing your emotions? Jeff said he is trying to learn what emotion he is actually feeling at a particular time. Is this happiness? Why am I feeling happy? Jeff is giving himself permission to have these feelings. He’s focusing on gratefulness. [35:47] Where do you want to go in this AF life? Jeff said he’s trying not to look too far ahead in life. That’s been a problem for him before. He’s focusing on being present and happy. He wants to grow and have a family and grow his business. Jeff said, “If you drink today, you are taking away tomorrow’s happiness” and he wants to be happy. [38:08] What has it been like getting sober a little earlier in life? Jeff said that so far, it’s been easier than expected. However, he doesn’t discount the near decade of knowing he needed to try and live an AF life. There are no distractions right now during stay at home orders. He admits this might be a bigger test once COVID-19 is over. [43:10] What are your thoughts on relapse? Jeff said it does mean you’re a failure, it’s all about how you handle the relapse. The past is the past and you can start over in the present.
[44:11] Rapid Fire Round
December 2019, driving home after a party, Jeff drove through a construction zone. The police were called, and he was let go. Avoiding jail was a wakeup call.
Constantly being present and recognizing emotions.
Recovery Elevator podcast, other online stories of people overcoming addiction.
Give it a try. If you can do it for 1 day, you can do it for 2.
You might need to ditch the booze if... You are 19 years old, get kicked out of a football game, on your way home call up a family member to curse them out, break into your RA’s room and finally wake up to the police carrying you to your own room
Upcoming Events and Retreats: You can find more information about our event here. The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
This episode sponsored by: Tiger Tail, use this link and enter the promo code: ELEVATOR15 for 15% off your order. Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set up fee. Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. We can do this.” | |||
| 24 Feb 2020 | RE 262: Do the Work | 01:01:28 | |
Vinny took his last drink 9 ½ years ago. This is his story. On today’s episode Paul talks about change. Whether you like it, or not, you are always changing. You’re either building new circuits or adding new blockages to your energy field. With an addiction it’s either gaining momentum or you’re lessening the energetic bonds of the addiction. You must make time to always do the work.
[15:45] Paul introduces Vinny.
Vinny is 61 years old and lives in Bangkok. For fun Vinny like to read, watch a good TV series, going to meetings and helping people.
[19:20] Give us a background on your drinking.
Vinny discovered alcohol in his late teens and continued to use it for 10 years. The next 10 years involved alcohol and smoking marijuana. He added crack to the mix and became a crack addict for the following 5 years. He went to 2 treatment centers and didn’t get clean until 2004. He hit his bottom while living (homeless) in Las Vegas. He managed to get sober after that and it lasted 3 years.
[22:45] What in your message you want to get out?
Vinny says that recovery can be simple. Simple means it’s not complicated.
[27:13] How can thinking get us into more trouble?
Vinny says that most of us do not think, or see, very clearly. He says we act based on the false evidence we see in front of us, so obviously if we are not relating to reality, we are always going to make the wrong choices.
[30:05] What do you see is the biggest challenge that someone on this journey will face?
Vinny says he thinks that people have the illusion that they have to do it all themselves.
[38:05] What do you think addiction is and where do you think it comes from?
Vinny says he doesn’t know where addiction comes from, and that it doesn’t matter.
[44:00] Talk to us a little bit about self-loathing.
Vinny says self-loathing is shame.
[46:35] Talk to us about burning the ships and being honest with others.
Vinny says that sometimes we are not even aware that we aren’t honest with ourselves.
[52:30] Do you think that someone can become recovered?
Vinny says if you want to use the word recovered in the present moment, yes. If recovered means you are cured, then no.
[54:50] Rapid Fire Round
Pepsi-Cola
The energy here at my job, on a Saturday afternoon, seeing 30 recovering people connect with each other.
Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Take responsibility for yourself.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
You are a healthcare provider and you are taking care of somebody that needs you, and you have ran out of booze at 3 o’clock in the morning, and you abandon him and go and get booze.
Upcoming Events and Retreats. Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020 Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020 You can find more information about our events here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
ZipRecruiter This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this.”
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| 04 Sep 2017 | RE 133: America's Drinking Problem Is Much Worse This Century | 00:41:28 | |
Paul summarizes the article “America’s Drinking Problem Is Much Worse This Century” by John Tozzi
Alcohol abuse has shot up since 2001, and the number of adults who binge weekly may top the population of Texas. Americans are drinking more than they used to, a troubling trend with potentially dire implications for the country’s future health-care costs. The number of adults who binge drink at least once a week could be as high as 30 million, greater than the population of every state save California, according to a study published on Wednesday in JAMA Psychiatry. A similar number reported alcohol abuse or dependency. Between the genders, women showed the larger increase in alcohol abuse, according to the report. Kristi, with nearly 9 months of sobriety since her last drink, shares her story.
SHOW NOTES
[7:09] Paul Introduces Kristi. I live in northern California near Stanford; I am 44, married and have 2 boys. I worked 25 years in software sales. I have been spending most of my time volunteering.
[16:28] Paul- When did you start realize after your Mom passed away, that this might be going in the wrong direction?
Kristi- Honestly, around 38-39 I started to realize I was drinking differently than I had in the past. I was working full time with 2 young kids, and I had to have 6-7-8 drinks at the end of the day.
[20:23] Paul- What was your first AA meeting like?
Kristi- I was so overwhelmed. It was 9:00 on a Saturday morning, and there were 300 people there. I realized that all meetings weren’t this way. I jumped right in, started going to meetings, got a sponsor, and worked the steps. I was working on will alone. I don’t think I realized the importance of a higher power, and letting go. I managed to stay sober for quite awhile.
[28:43] Paul- You sound like you are a high bottom drunk, and have a lot more to lose, am I correct?
Kristi- I didn’t get the DUI, or drive my kids drunk. But I wasn’t present. I can really sit and appreciate the moment now. I am feeling good; I have a skip in my step. When you live in gratitude, you can’t live in fear and resentment.
[32:07] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety, what do you want to accomplish in this life?
Kristi- I would like to learn Spanish. I would really like to write a book.
[33:31] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: America's Drinking Problem is Much Worse This Century- By John Tozzi Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 09 Aug 2021 | RE 338: Old Narratives | 00:53:07 | |
Episode 338 – Old Narratives
On today’s podcast we’ve got Rebecca she took his last drink on October 22, 2019, she is from Madison Wisconsin, and is 31 years old.
Finding Your Better You Highlights When we don’t know the root of our triggers, when we don’t know the narratives that are ingrained in our brains and in our souls. We think something is wrong with us. And when we think something is wrong with us, we feel shame. Part of taking responsibility of your healing is knowing yourself, so that you can get outside of this shame cycle and can walk the bridge over to self-empathy. When I know myself better, I can zoom out and see what was happening in my mind, understand myself better and allows me to manage my relationships differently. This makes me navigate my cravings better, because mine come when I feel this belief of, I am not considered.
Look within and find some narratives that are living inside of you? Stories that live in the past, yet they are being perpetuated in your present life. We can re-write those stories. But only until we detect them.
Insights from Rebecca’s Journey
[09:18] Kris introduces Rebecca. Rebecca began drinking at age 14 and she hated it. She was afraid of drinking because her dad was in law enforcement. She noticed a shift in her drinking at age 25. In 2011, her dad went to prison and that trauma had a huge impact on her life. She was also a victim of domestic violence. She thanks alcohol for getting her through terrible times and for the life she has now. Rebecca’s drinking became all day drinking because she was isolated, alone, and bored. She would binge drink to soothe loneliness. She was falling apart, other than work.
She began listening to recovery podcasts and reached out to her employee assistance office. She entered a therapy group that helped with alcohol addiction and trauma. She was holding on some trauma from her past that became an excuse for drinking. She was stuck in a Day 1 cycle and a shame cycle. She went to rehab and detoxed from alcohol and Xanax. It was a very structured program that gave her some tools.
Learning to connect was important for Rebecca. She leaned in heavily on AA and found a local community of sober women. She is now very engaged with Café RE which has helped keep her sober. She constantly evaluates her program. She continues to suffer from anxiety and depression, but she isn’t alone anymore. She really wants to give back and is now able to do so. She always challenges the narrative recognizing that a bad day can be turned around. Rebecca said, keep it simple!
Kris’ Message Kris is celebrating four years of continuous sobriety. He shared a quote from Marianne Williamson, “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? Playing small does not serve the world. We born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. As we let our own light shine, we give others permission to do the same.” Take some time to recognize the work you are doing. Resist the urge to minimize yourself. You are a gift to this world. You deserve happiness.
It all starts from the inside out.
Sponsor Exact Nature Use code RE20 at exact nature.com Shout out to The Chocolate Moose, a Bozeman Retreat Sponsor. https://www.thechocolatemoose406.com/ @thechocolatemoose406 on Instagram
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
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| 21 Jun 2021 | RE 331: Keep Moving Forward | 01:02:02 | |
Episode 331 – we hear from Laura!
Community is so important. It is so important to connect with ourselves, our source energy, or other people. All those things get disconnected with addiction. Reconnecting with the world is an important part of recovery.
On today’s podcast we have Laura who is from Austin, TX and took her last drink on September 16, 2019. This is her journey of living live alcohol free (AF).
Headlines
Paul gave many stats about how a podcast survives in a pandemic. Paul also learned so much from listening to Odette take the from seat on the podcast. His discoveries among many include:
Laura’s Story
[16:04] Odette welcomes Laura
Laura’s last drink was September 16, 2019. Laura feels great and has ups and downs and is present and grateful. She lives in Austin, Texas where she owns a spa and does bodywork and energy work. She is working with Supernatural Recovery. She is a single mom to an 8-year-old daughter and loves meditation and yoga.
[17:40] Tell us about your path with drinking
Laura grew up in an alcohol abusive family. She started smoking pot and LSD at 14. She didn’t want to drink because of her parent’s drinking. She was raped at 16 and started drinking to overcome her panic attacks.
She was imprisoned, tortured, and sexually abused for two years. She escaped from her abuser at 18, went to college and her PTSD symptoms became really apparent. She was hospitalized until she could become mentally stable. She continued drinking for 20 years. She was often functioning and often not, it swung back and forth. She didn’t have any rock bottom moments, she lived in rock bottom for several years. After several false starts she was able to stop drinking in 2019.
[20:57] What was your inner dialogue when you started using alcohol?
Laura realized if she was drunk enough, she didn’t have a panic attack. She was doing things that weren’t healthy, but it was how she survived. She is also in recovery for an eating disorder. As part of that journey, she realizes she developed a lot of maladaptive coping mechanism that were survival instincts to help her disassociate.
[23:27] How was sharing your abuse with the world?
Laura said she didn’t share very much. She minimized her early trauma. Integrating her alcohol recovery with heavy trauma therapy has helped her and as her sobriety time increases, more memories surface surfaced. The heavy trauma therapy helped her understand why it was so difficult for her to get sober. Her trauma and alcoholism to hand in hand.
[25:29] Have recurring memories of trauma been a trigger for you?
Laura said sobriety has been an awakening process. She has discovered some radical truths and uncovering new information about her trauma and her family of origin. Her therapist has helped her reconcile those awakenings.
[26:35] How did you approach your healing journey?
Laura wrote a book about her journey which is part of Supernatural Recovery. There are four cornerstones including: caring for your physical body (nutrition, hydration, exercise), trauma relief (body work, energy work, plant medicine, acupuncture), calming your nervous system (finding new ways to handle your body when her nervous system was activated), forgiveness and self-compassion which been the part of it. She is learning how to enjoy her life and avoid negative relationship patterns.
[29:20] How did you discover these alternative tools?
Laura said because of her body work practice, she is connected to many resources in the Austin recovery community. She learned to release trauma and find new ways to live her life.
[31:14] How was early sobriety for you?
Laura said she did not have a pink cloud. She cried all day every day for the first 90 days. Hiking daily, getting outside and the Recovery Elevator podcast were very helpful so she could be vulnerable and honest. At about 90 days, yoga helped her to feel better. When she began working with a somatic process, it helped her to become stronger and more committed. The book, The Energy Codes was helpful and has become a cornerstone of her program.
[34:53] Tell me about the relationship between your alcohol recovery and your eating disorder?
Laura said she played addiction whack a mole for some time. Healing isn’t linear and learning to avoid self-abuse has ups and downs.
[37:20] What role does community have in your healing?
Laura said community is so important. Reconnecting with your source energy, people, and the world when you are recovering is important. She dipped her toes in AA and the 12 Steps, and found it wasn’t for her. The Austin based yoga recovery community has yoga and meditation classes that have been instrumental to her recovery. Café RE was important to her in the early days.
[38:55] Do you still go to therapy?
Laura said yes! She began therapy before she got sober. Her therapist specializes in empaths and highly sensitives. When Laura wanted to stop drinking, worked for a year and a half. She had several false starts, and her therapist helped her get to the other side. Her therapist has inspired her to pursue a master’s degree in counseling.
[40:42] What has recovery made possible for you?
Laura said what she is building with Supernatural Recovery and writing a book that is about to get published. Education is a part of her journey. She has a better handle on her emotional reactions. Service is also gift in her recovery.
[42:30] Do you still get cravings?
Laura said yes and she currently uses fancy olives. In her early days she would take a shot of apple cider vinegar. Calming her body and spending time in nature help. The disease is to disconnect, and the medicine is to stay present. Breathwork also helps. Yoga has helped her train her mind to be her friend.
[44:45] What reactions from others have you experienced since you quit drinking?
Laura said people in her life were relieved, happy, and proud. She has lost some friends along the way because she wasn’t a happy, fun drinker. Sometimes people can’t come with you on any awakening journey. At the end of the day, you must choose yourself. Letting go with gratitude helps avoid bad blood.
[46:58] Have you been able to identify any triggers?
Laura said her triggers are emotional, worrying about her daughter and getting hungry. When she thinks she might want a drink, she now can recognize the trigger, let go of the thought and solve it with self-care. Her daughter is learning to use those tools as well.
[49:14] What does a day in your life look like?
Laura said after dropping her daughter at school, she runs or walks, takes clients, yoga, works on her website or editing her book. On the weekends she spends time outside and hikes with friends.
Teaching her daughter about self-care and handling your emotions is important. Her recovery has made her strong and help others heal.
[53:57] When does your book come out?
It is slated to be published through the Balboa press within the next 4-5 months. She is excited share the broad menu of recovery with others.
[55:15] Rapid Fire Round
It’s going to be okay. You are an incredible, strong person. You are going to get through this and help others.
Kin Euphorics
Supernatural Recovery, Café RE, and yoga.
Her skin, her eyes are brighter and that increases her confidence.
Have compassion for yourself. The healing journey is not linear. If you are trying and you haven’t made it yet, realize the more you beat yourself up, the harder it gets.
You might need to say Adios to booze if … When a bottle is half empty and you go to the store because you are worried about running out.
Odette’s Summary
Odette says a heartfelt thank you to those that help with the podcast, the listeners and to Paul for giving her the opportunity to be your host.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage: For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
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| 17 Apr 2017 | RE 113: Healthcare, Alcohol, and Addiction | 00:43:41 | |
Michael, with 32 years since his last drink, shares his story. In a recent CNN interview with Jeremy Broderick, he talks about how the GOP replacement plan for Obamacare makes things worse for the addict. Many treatment plans were covered under Medicaid as well as the Affordable Care Act. Trump-care isn’t what is seems to be and pushes more for accessibility instead of universal coverage. In the meantime, 200 people die a day while the government sorts this out. It is estimated that for every $1.00 spent on treatment, $4.00 is saved on healthcare and for every $1.00 spent on education/prevention, $50.00 is saved on healthcare.
SHOW NOTES
[8:18] Paul Introduces Michael
Michael – I am 60 years old with 32 years of sobriety. I have 2 twin sons and I run health and wellness websites. I like to walk, hike and meet like-minded people.
[10:48] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Michael – it was long before I was 28 years old. I started drinking alcoholically at age 14. I was in an accident and arrested for DUI at the age of 19. My drinking slowed down a little when my uncle died but I picked up smoking weed instead. Cocaine was finally my downfall. I was starting to spend hours in blackouts and was continuously apologizing for things that I had done.
[13:14] What were your drinking habits like?
Michael – During nights’ outs, I could drink 20 bottles of beer. We would go out to the bars starting at midnight and drink until 7am.
[14:08] Did you ever put any rules into place to control your drinking?
Michael – I couldn’t start drinking early in the day because I would keep going. I intentionally started drinking later in the day so that I had a chance to make it home safely.
[15:23] What drug do you think led you to cocaine? Pot or alcohol?
Michael – It was probably the pot. I needed it when I first woke up in the morning just to be able to get to work.
[16:04] How did you do it?
Michael – I started going to meetings and was completely overwhelmed by the love of the community. They enveloped me with their hugs and love. Our motto was hugs, not drugs. I went to 1 sober party after another. There wasn’t any time to do drugs. I learned to be careful who I surrounded myself with. Build your community of sober friends. Community is everything to me. I never feel alone when I surround myself with people who are moving in the same direction. There is no addiction sigma within these sober communities.
[22:29] Did you start with NA or AA?
Michael – I started with NA and we were a small group. We were sponsoring 5-10 people at a time. I received some advice that I should try an AA meeting in order to see what longer term sobriety was. My first AA meeting had some old timers who basically told me to, “sit down and shut up.” They taught us what real time recovery was.
[25:35] What is your advice for finding real recovery?
Michael – You’ve got to tap in to your resources. There are many milestones that are going to happen to you in recovery. Your world can still fall apart at any time. You will always have to deal with emotional experiences.
[27:27] What advice would you give to your younger self?
Michael – When we are drinking, we tend to gravitate towards other drinkers. Most of the rest of the population does not drink like we do. It is OK to be with these normal/non-drinkers. There is an entire world full of incredible people who do not care whether you drink or not.
[30:00] Tell us your thoughts regarding sugar addiction.
Michael – I think that sugar is the real gateway drug. It is so subtle that you do not realize it is even happening. Sugar is a powerful psychoactive drug. You can become physically and mentally addicted to sugar. We crave it when we need a mental break. When we eat sugar, we temporarily feel better about ourselves.
[35:40] What is viral recovery.com?
Michael – It is my website where I advocate to change the stigma of addiction with healthcare. I post what others are doing (such as Paul!) to change the attitudes surrounding addiction.
[36:51] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com www.facingaddiction.org – to sign the petition
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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| 08 Aug 2022 | RE 390: The Secret to Change | 00:58:35 | |
Episode 390 - The Secret to Change
Today we have Jess. She is 37, from Ontario, and has been sober since May 7, 2022.
Ditch the Booze Mindfulness Course starts 9/20.: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Recovery Fit – Paul Lapine. Lapine Fitness Studio. https://lapinefitness.totaltransformationtoday.com/ Insta:Paul_Lapine_
Highlights from Paul
YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT! Anyone who doesn’t quit quitting eventually creates distance from alcohol. “The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not fighting the old, but building the new.” Socrates. This journey is about transformation. It’s an invitation to create a life where alcohol isn’t needed. It’s about letting part of you go. It’s about saying goodbye to the aspects of your life that aren’t working,
Paul suggests fighting the old is a waste, and addiction is a messenger letting you know your life is out of balance. Desperation leads to surrender, which leads to openness and willingness. Don’t resist change as it is one constant you can count on.
Music Submissions - email edited versions to: info@recoveryelevator.com
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[11:31] Jess has been sober for two months. She is an accountant for a rehab hospital and enjoys reading, camping, cooking, and paddleboarding with her dog. She lives in Ontario, Canada, and has two children.
Jess came from a family of drinkers. Her Dad was a heavy drinker. She started experimenting with alcohol in her early teens. At age 14, her Dad died suddenly, and her Mom’s mental health deteriorated as a result.
Jess hosted parties and smoked pot. Since her family didn’t talk about things, drinking was an escape. All her friends drank and smoked, so it seemed commonplace. At one point, she started skipping school, and her sister intervened. Jess slowed down and appreciated the attention from her sister.
After high school, she took some random jobs and habitually stopped working, excusing her behavior with feigned sicknesses. She made lots of excuses but never addressed the root problem. She quit her jobs before she got fired. Her temper flared when her drinking hit a certain point, and she became a monster. Jess moved back in with her Mom to curb expenses, and her drinking slowed slightly. Six months later, she moved in with her boyfriend, and they were drinking buddies.
Jess got pregnant and abstained throughout her pregnancy but picked up again as soon as the baby was born. She bought into the “mommy wine culture .”Her Mom had dementia. Being around someone with dementia was difficult, and Jess’ drinking escalated. Eventually, she went to an online AA meeting and cried. She felt so welcomed. She counted minutes to hours, and finally, it got easier. She is now grateful to be present with her kids and is learning to like herself.
Kris’s Summary
Kris is looking forward to Recovery Elevator’s sober retreat. Kris has learned to listen to others, be present, and hold space for them. He has fun with his sober people. Kris encourages listeners to find their way to go deeper and have some fun. Challenge yourself to take the next step.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| 31 Mar 2025 | RE 528: Brevity of a Buzz | 00:47:00 | |
Today we have Laura. She is 40 years old from Reno, NV and she had her last drink on August 1st, 2017.
Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Tomorrow April 1st, registration opens for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more.
[02:58] Thoughts from Paul:
On this life journey, what we think is fun or important to us is constantly changing. You have identified that serenity, happiness and peace have become much more important to you than the excitement of drinking. After all, drinking lifts us up for a short while but always lets us down in the end.
Peace is knowing we are living our healthiest life and knowing that whatever happens, we’re going to be just fine because we’re not making life harder than it needs to be by drinking.
We are aiming to place our bodies and minds in a state where they are properly nourished so then we can be present to fully enjoy and be thankful when the emotion of happiness arrives. We are choosing peace over the brevity of a buzz. We are choosing life.
[05:51] Paul introduces Laura:
Laura is married, and lives in Reno, Nevada. She is currently transitioning out of working in nonprofit communications to going full time with her own business. She enjoys all things outdoors, lifting weights, and making funny Tik-Toks.
The minute Laura started drinking she felt like it was the elixir to confidence and connection. Throughout college and into her 20s, she didn’t think much about her drinking because she was drinking like everyone else around her. Leaving college, Laura didn’t really know what she wanted to do with her life. Looking back now, she recognizes how much drinking disconnects you from yourself.
Laura moved to Lake Tahoe and became a snowboard bum. This is where her drinking progressed. Little red flags started to pop up, but she would disregard them and treat her drinking like it was an intentional choice.
In her late twenties, Laura got a DUI. This drove her to recognize that she needed to quit drinking and was able to for a few months. She thought after that, she had it under control only to end up right back where she was soon after.
Laura began to try and moderate and take breaks. When she realized it was hard to quit for two weeks, she knew she had a problem. After a blackout, Laura decided it was time to give sobriety a try. Quitting drinking felt scary, but it felt scarier to continue down the path she was on. She didn’t know anyone that was sober but once she listened to people’s stories on the RE podcast, she had hope.
After 7 months of working on her recovery by herself, she relapsed at a memorial for a friend. Recognizing that she was on the right path in sobriety, she went right back to it. She started going to AA and found a sponsor. Laura admits it was a lot of work, but she was ready for it. She shares that she had a lot of epiphanies during the first six to nine months.
Laura picked up a lot of healthy practices in recovery which helped her rediscover herself and build confidence. She says no tequila shot could ever compare to the feeling of being able to trust yourself, respect yourself and have authentic connections with other people.
In her new business, Laura is a backpacking guide. She organizes adventure retreats for sober women. Your Sober Pal
Laura’s favorite resources: Recovery Elevator podcast, 12 Step Program and online recovery communities.
Laura’s parting piece of guidance: it might e a lot of work up front, but it’s going to take you places you couldn’t even imaging and you’re going to amaze yourself along the way.
Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.
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| 30 Oct 2023 | RE 454: How Do I Do More In My Recovery Community? | 01:01:09 | |
Episode 454 – How Can I Do More In My Recovery Community?
Today we have Kristan. She is 60 years old and lives in Delaware. She took her last drink on June 3rd, 2019.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
[01:34] Highlights from Kris:
Today we are continuing the Q & A series and it’s a two for one. First question, Dale wants to know “How can I do more in my recovery community?”
Some traditional responses to this question might AA, or any other group with the word recovery in it. These are great, but Kris shares that we can expand our view to other groups. Church groups, book club, a running club, or a workout group.
Sharing can be a great way to get involved within a recovery community. Hearing others share and be vulnerable encourages us to share and be vulnerable too. By being open, you are being of service in your recovery. You never know who you may be helping with your share.
Think of the things that you bring to the table, and what you’d like to see your community offer. It could be as simple as organizing an outing to have a meal with other local members or hosting a chat in your online community.
Listen to your heart. If you feel that tug to do something, be obedient to that. We have no idea how it could impact our lives, or the lives of other people.
Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery
[09:25]: Kris introduces Kristan:
Kristan is married and has adult kids, she enjoys traveling, participating in triathlons, and hanging out with her sober friends doing fun activities.
Kristan grew up in Louisiana and started drinking when she was 12 and partied throughout high school. She graduated from college and moved to Australia for a few years. She moved to DC when she came back and worked as a reporter while enjoying the nightlife. Kristan says that in her profession, drinking was very common, and she surrounded herself with people that drank a lot.
Later when she bought a house in Delaware, her and her husband split time between home and DC which left Kristan with a lot of time alone. She started putting rules around her drinking early on which found her frustrated. Her husband doesn’t drink which made her feel like she was being monitored. Kristan never drank during the day but found herself drinking daily at 5pm. Her problem wasn’t obvious to her because she was successful and hadn’t lost anything (yet).
Kristan’s drinking came to a head after a long night of drinking with friends where she doesn’t remember the last few hours. She woke up to a text from her daughter stating that she was concerned about her drinking. Kristan decided it was time to quit. A phone call to family member in recovery helped her take the first steps. A few days later she told husband she quit drinking. She started regularly attending AA and got a sponsor, began reading books about recovery and enjoyed listening to podcasts.
Kristan was eager to celebrate all of life’s events sober. She says she has a great group of friends that are still fun in sobriety. After quitting, Kristan realizes how much mind space drinking took up. She says the first year was difficult, but she got stronger as she went. Kristan loves being sober. Her relationships with her daughter and husband are the best they have ever been.
Kristan’s future plan in sobriety: working on her emotional sobriety.
Kristan’s parting piece of guidance: give it a year, surround yourself with sober people.
[54:15] Kris answers Bobbie the Awesome’s question regarding NA beverages and shares some personal experiences.
Choosing whether to drink them or not is a very personal decision. It's up to you to decide what’s right for you, and it’s a good idea to err on the side of caution if you are nervous about it.
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Recovery Elevator We’re the only ones that can do this, but we don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
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