Your Adult Child: How to Raise Your Kids so You Don't Have to Raise Your Grandkids – Details, episodes & analysis

Don’t back off of asking your kid to contribute to the business of being a family.

For parents, it’s natural to use the term “they’re becoming independent.” Have you used this term before? But maybe your experience is the opposite – where you feel like your child is more and more DEPENDANT on you.

Understanding the difference between independence and interdependence can make a significant difference in a relationship with your child.  

Parents are always telling us they’re not sure how to adapt to the changes in their relationship with their child. Don’t wait till things are in crisis, you can start communicating now to take preventative measures, and helping them mature.

If it feels hopeless, there is a solution. 

Reach out or contact...

-Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com)

-Email at admissions@irongatetherapy.com or join the Facebook group, Parenting Your Adult Child

-Call at 435-868-8391

-Message on Instagram @irongatetherapy or on LinkedIn

Do you or your child struggle with the weight of your feelings?

There is more than one type of sad :(

-Clinical depression (if this is you, professional help is recommended).

-Conditional "downness" as we sometimes call it.

Parents can have a huge influence on their kids (and helping them manage their feelings and sadness).

Some tips to keep you ears out for as you listen... move with (not do for), be ready to steady them through the storm, help them be accountable for the things they say to you, validate their feelings... and a few more for you to find on your own.

Difference between WHAT and WHY? The difference is pretty significant. Which one do you usually focus on as a parent?

What are the whys you can choose that will make you a safe place for you kid to come to? The good news… you can choose it any time, you can re-choose it, and you can choose something else.

You don’t have to treat a sense of why like a buried treasure that you have to go out and discover, it’s can be as simple as making a choice in that moment. Then you’ll learn how to refine it as time goes on.

Start with this question… WHY are you a parent?

Think on that as you listen to Kade and Shauna share their thoughts on how you can use your why more powerfully in your parenting.

Reach out or contact...

-Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com)

-Email at admissions@irongatetherapy.com or join the Facebook group, Parenting Your Adult Child

-Call at 435-868-8391

-Message on Instagram @irongatetherapy or on LinkedIn

How many of you have kids that have a phone and/or social media accounts? 

How many of you have kids that spend a lot of time in front of their screen? 

Helping your kid understand and manage their use of screens in their life can be one of the most hopeless endeavors as a parent, but things can be done to help the situation. 

Reach out or contact...

-Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com)

-Email at admissions@irongatetherapy.com or join the Facebook group, Parenting Your Adult Child

-Call at 435-868-8391

-Message on Instagram @irongatetherapy or on LinkedIn

In the last twenty years, the percentage of people who go to church in the United States has been around 47%. 

Do you know what the percentage was for sixty years before that? It was 70%. Almost three quarters of the population attended church. 

If you think that’s crazy, it gets even lower for younger people (Millenials and Gen. Z) dropping all the way to 36%.

There could be any number of reasons going through your mind right now that explains this. Regardless of reason, here are a few principles talked about and explained in this week's episode that can help you better understand the religion situation with your kid... 

-Live yours, listen to theirs

-The older your child gets, the less you can require of them, but... 

-The older your child gets, the power of your example increases

Reach out or contact...

-Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com)

-Email at admissions@irongatetherapy.com or join the Facebook group, Parenting Your Adult Child

-Call at 435-868-8391

-Message on Instagram @irongatetherapy or on LinkedIn

Here's a simple way to support your kid... ask them this question: On a scale from 1-10 how's our relationship? 

Using their answer to help your relationship requires some Accountability, Honesty, and Humility. 

These three things are required for anyone who wants to make changes in their life, and these three things are required for anyone who wants to help someone they care about make changes. As a parent, if you want to help your kid make changes (overcome addiction, grow in their capacity, become the person that reaches their potential) helping them with these three things is huge. And just as important, making them a part of your own life first. 

Listen for the questions, examples, and insights Kade and Shauna share that can help your relationships flourish. 

Reach out or contact...

-Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com)

-Email at admissions@irongatetherapy.com or join the Facebook group, Parenting Your Adult Child

-Call at 435-868-8391

-Message on Instagram @irongatetherapy or on LinkedIn

Thoughts—Feelings—Actions

What kind of stories are you telling yourself when things don't go right? Everyone has stories they tell themselves when they're trying to understand or interpret a situation. Most times, especially when it comes to family relationships, we tell stories that include the WORST-CASE SCENARIO. 

Don't let these thoughts rule you or your relationships! 

Ask the right questions, get in control of them, and build (don't tear down) your relationships

Reach out or contact...

-Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com)

-Email at admissions@irongatetherapy.com or join the Facebook group, Parenting Your Adult Child

-Call at 435-868-8391

-Message on Instagram @irongatetherapy or on  LinkedIn

What’s it like living with someone who always needs to be right?

The need to be right all the time always comes at the expense of a relationship because others never feel SAFE or HEARD. 

Every parent wants their kid to have capacity! Nothing destroys capacity in a kid more than them not having a space where they can be safe and heard; you're always hurting your kid when you hold on to the need to be right—because it’s all about you.

But there are some truths you can focus on and practice that will help you understand the sweetness of true humility.

Reach out or contact...

-Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com)

-Email at admissions@irongatetherapy.com or join the Facebook group, Parenting Your Adult Child

Find moments of clarity as a parent as you help your kid feel safe and heard when they’re struggling to make good choices.

What do you feel when your kid isn’t making good choices?

What are the most common reactions of parents when their kid isn’t making good choices?

What are your reactions?

Maybe sometimes you jump in and try to try and get them to take action. It’s good to get your kid to act, just make sure you find out what they’re thinking and feeling first.

When you invite them to act, does it come from a place of fear or clarity

Curiously find out where they’re at—what they’re thinking and feeling, then you’ll have clarity around what and how to invite them to act to do.

Kid’s will come up with really good solutions when they’re given the space and opportunity.

Reach out or contact...

-Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com)

-Email at admissions@irongatetherapy.com or join the Facebook group, Parenting Your Adult Child

-Call at 435-868-8391

-Message on Instagram @irongatetherapy or on LinkedIn

What's it like when you have a son or daughter who struggles with pornography? Parents may feel like your kid's life is over, kids may feel unbelievable amounts of shame. It's a relief to hear about people's experience with pornography and how they were able to overcome it. 

Mason, one of Shauna's sons, struggled with pornography throughout Jr. high and High school and has learned many things along the way about how to overcome its powerful influence and the role that mothers can play in supporting their child when they're going through it. 

Listen to a mother and son have a conversation about things that helped and things that didn't help throughout this experience and how far they've come in this battle for their life. 

Reach out or contact...

-Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com)

-Email at admissions@allgrownup.com or join the Facebook group, Parenting Your Adult Child

-Call at 435-868-8391

-Message on Instagram @irongatetherapy or on LinkedIn