You Keep Me Sane – Details, episodes & analysis

Episode Overview

Ever opened up to someone only to be met with silence or worse, a thumbs up emoji? In this Sanity Check, we dive into the disappointment of emotional disconnection, especially when it comes from people we’re close to. We unpack the hard truth: not everyone has the emotional capacity to meet you where you're at - and it’s not about you.

This conversation is a compassionate reminder that your vulnerability is not too much, and choosing to protect your peace doesn’t make you cold. It makes you strong.

Key Discussion Points

• Aileen’s story of opening up and getting… nothing back
• Why some people simply don’t have the emotional tools to meet you
• How growth can make you feel isolated from those who aren’t evolving
• Letting go of expectations without letting go of love
• Reframing disappointment by focusing on boundaries and self-honour
• Why protecting your peace is an act of self-respect, not rejection

Listener Takeaways

• It's not always personal. People meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves
• You can't force connection, but you can choose your response
• Letting go of the fantasy that others will change creates emotional freedom

Join the Conversation

Who in your life struggles to meet you emotionally? How do you handle that disappointment? DM us or leave a voice message—we’re always here to listen.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

Is it time to stop chasing “having it all” and start redefining what really matters? In this episode, we unpack the growing cultural shift away from hustle culture and into what many are calling the soft life  - a slower, more intentional way of living. We talk honestly about the tension between ambition and rest, how societal expectations have shaped women’s nervous systems, and why the soft life isn’t about giving up, it’s about tuning in.

From motherhood and single parenting to invisible labour, work stress, wellness fatigue and everything in between. This conversation is about coming back to what fills you up, not what drains you.

Key Discussion Points

• What the soft life really means and why it’s not lazy or indulgent
• The myth of “having it all” and the hidden costs of chasing it
• How our nervous systems have been wired for busyness and how to start unwinding that
• Why wellness culture can sometimes add to the burnout, not relieve it
• The emotional toll of invisible labour, especially for midlife women
• Redefining success and creating space for what truly matters
• How small, daily choices (like a walk, a conversation, a breath) can be radical acts of reclaiming peace
• Giving yourself permission to let go of expectations, overcommitments and pressure to prove
• The soft life as a rebellion: choosing presence over productivity

Listener Takeaways

• You don’t need to quit your job or move to the beach. The soft life starts with one choice at a time
• Rest isn’t selfish, it’s essentiaL,  especially when your nervous system is always “on”
• You’re not lazy for needing to slow down. You’re wise for listening to what your body and soul actually need
• If “having it all” is leaving you scattered and depleted, maybe it’s time to redefine what all means to you

Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear from you. What does rest look like in your life right now? Message us on Instagram or leave a voicemail.

And don’t forget to like and subscribe and share this episode with someone you think needs to hear it!

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this episode, Julie and Aileen reflect on those moments in life where everything feels like too much — when you're overwhelmed, disconnected, or just not yourself. Inspired by a Mel Robbins quote, they explore the idea that feeling lost is often the beginning of finding your way back — or forward — to a stronger, wiser version of yourself.

Whether it’s the chaos of parenting, a life change, or the slow build-up of a thousand small stresses, this conversation is a reminder that these low points can be turning points — if we let them.

Key Discussion Points

• Why we often feel most lost right before something shifts
• The importance of sitting with discomfort instead of rushing to fix it
• How life transitions like moves, breakups, and burnout can spark growth
• Personal stories of feeling unmoored — and how clarity eventually came
• The quiet wisdom in letting go of old identities to make space for what’s next

💡 Listener Takeaways

• Feeling lost isn’t a sign you’re broken — it’s part of becoming
• Not all breakdowns are dramatic — sometimes it’s the subtle unraveling that leads to strength
• If you're in the midst of heaviness, it doesn't mean you're at the end — you could be on the edge of a new beginning
• Let yourself pause. Let yourself be. That might be the bravest thing you do right now.

Join the Conversation

Are you going through a season of uncertainty or feeling unsteady on your path? We’d love to hear your story. Leave us a voicemail or DM — we’re here to listen.
And if this episode spoke to you, share it with someone else who might need the reminder: being lost might just be the start of finding something beautiful.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this deeply honest conversation, Aileen and Julie explore a powerful realisation about the difference between pleasureand happiness. Triggered by a reel on dopamine vs serotonin, the chat unpacks how chasing short-term highs can leave us feeling emptier than ever—especially during perimenopause and other identity-shifting life stages. This episode offers a compassionate lens on our coping mechanisms and a gentle invitation to start seeking what actually sustains us.

Key Discussion Points:

▪️ Dopamine vs Serotonin — What they are, how they affect us, and why this distinction matters.
▪️ The Trap of Quick Fixes — From food and alcohol to likes on social media, how we chase pleasure thinking it's happiness.
▪️ Hormonal Shifts & Midlife — Why perimenopause can bring our coping patterns into sharper focus.
▪️ Parenting in a Dopamine World — Reflections on teens, screen addiction, and fast gratification.
▪️ Real-Life Reflections — Personal stories of travel anxiety, shifting desires, and finding joy in simplicity.
▪️ Happiness as a Slow Burn — Why authentic happiness is quieter, and how to recognise it in everyday moments.
▪️ Practical Tools — Mindfulness, gratitude, purpose, and small serotonin-boosting rituals that reconnect us to ourselves.

Listener Takeaways:

🔹 You’re not failing if you don’t feel happy all the time.
🔹 Start asking: Is this soothing me… or sustaining me?
🔹 Swap one dopamine-driven habit this week for something slower and deeper—like a walk, a cuddle, or a moment of stillness.
🔹 Awareness is the first step toward change—and even just noticing your patterns is a powerful act of self-care.

💌 Join the Conversation:

Have you had your own ‘aha’ moment around this? Are you stuck in the dopamine loop? We’d love to hear from you. DM us or leave a voicemail—we're here to listen.

🎧 Listen now and don’t forget to like, subscribe and share with a friend who might need this gentle nudge toward something more lasting.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

In this short but honest Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what taking a holiday really means when you're juggling a business, parenting, and the relentless mental load of modern life. From Aileen’s seaside escape in Spain (featuring a surprise meerkat) to Julie’s chaotic family visit up north, both share how even time away doesn’t always mean switching off.

They explore the guilt, the pressure, the impossibility of true rest—and why we need to redefine what a break looks like in this phase of life.

Key Discussion Points

• Why it’s so hard to truly disconnect as a mum and business owner
• The pressure to “use” holidays productively (and the guilt when we don’t)
• How rest might look different now—an hour alone, a change of scene, a walk by the sea
• The 35,000 decisions we make daily—and how even reducing one can feel like a win
• Why redefining rest is essential for our sanity, even if it’s imperfect

Listener Takeaways

• You don’t need to earn rest—you just need to allow it.
• A holiday doesn’t have to look like a postcard to count.
• Even small, imperfect moments of letting go can be enough.
• Stop measuring the success of a break by how rested you feel.
• The mental load doesn’t clock off—but you can give yourself permission to pause.

Join the Conversation

What does a real break look like for you? We’d love to know.
DM us on Instagram or leave us a voice note with your thoughts.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder—send them this episode. 💛

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

This week, we’re diving deep into the menopausal middle—the physical, emotional, and psychological shift that happens during perimenopause. What started as a simple sanity check sparked a huge response from our listeners, so we’re going further.

We’re talking about the silent confusion, the disorienting body changes, the grief, and the unexpected loss of identity that so many of us are experiencing—but rarely speaking about. From belly fat to brain fog, muscle loss to mood shifts, and even a re-evaluation of friendships, we share what’s helped us and why we need to approach this season with gentleness, honesty, and a hell of a lot of grace.

Key Discussion Points

• Why body changes in midlife feel so destabilising
• The silent identity shift behind the weight and wardrobe stress
• The lasting impact of dieting and why strength training matters now
• The emotional toll: grief, confusion, and unexpected loss
• How shifting friendships reflect who we’re becoming
• Our go-to tips for feeling better—inside and out
• Reframing midlife as a transition, not a decline

Listener Takeaways

• You’re not alone—millions of women feel this shift
• This isn’t about willpower—it’s biology and identity
• Small changes can create real relief
• Rest and nervous system care matter as much as protein and training
• This phase may feel messy—but it’s not the end. It’s a becoming.

💬 Join the Conversation

We’d love to hear how this stage is showing up in your life. Are you feeling the shift? What’s helped you feel more yourself again?

Drop us a voice note or DM—and share this with someone who needs to hear they’re not alone.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check episode, Julie and Aileen dive into the hormonal chaos that hits when perimenopause and parenting teenagers collide. It's the messy middle no one warned us about—when your body feels like it’s breaking down just as your kids are ramping up. From brain fog to teen meltdowns, they share the raw, relatable truth about trying to hold it all together when everyone under the roof is riding a hormonal rollercoaster.

🔑 Key Discussion Points:

• The double whammy of navigating perimenopause while raising hormonal teenagers.
• Feeling blindsided by brain fog, mood swings, anxiety, and exhaustion—and not knowing what hit you.
• Why no one prepared us for this brutal life stage overlap.
• How societal narratives (think cranky fairy-tale witches) reflect deep-rooted stereotypes about older women.
• The emotional strength we do gain during this season—and why it’s often overlooked.
• The importance of female friendships and honest conversations to survive this hormonal storm.
• Hope from the other side: what gets better and why it’s not all downhill from here.
• Reframing the chaos as a powerful shedding of what no longer serves us.

💬 Listener Takeaways:

• You're not alone if you're crying in the car while your teen slams the door. This stage is hard, and that doesn't mean you're failing.
• Talk about it—with friends, with us, with anyone who gets it. We need each other more than ever in this season.
• Take heart: on the other side of this storm is clarity, power, and a deep knowing of who you are.
• Be kind to yourself. You’re going through a massive transformation while holding a family together. That’s no small feat.

📣 Join the Conversation:

Have you felt this hormonal collision in your own life?
Leave us a voicemail or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.
We’d love to hear from you and share your thoughts in a future episode. 💛

And don’t forget to subscribe, share, and send this to a friend who needs to know she’s not the only one feeling like she’s losing it some days.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

 Episode Overview

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie respond to a heartfelt listener letter asking a powerful question: Why is self-compassion so hard, even when we know it's important?

They explore how deeply ingrained beliefs—from childhood conditioning to societal pressure—can make kindness toward ourselves feel indulgent or even weak. But what if self-compassion is actually the bravest, most radical thing we can offer ourselves?

With honesty, vulnerability, and plenty of relatable moments, they break down the difference between self-compassion and self-indulgence, share personal stories of spirals, shame, and small acts of grace—and offer tangible ways to start flipping the script.

💬 Key Discussion Points

• Why self-compassion is often harder than showing compassion to others
• The voice in our heads: learning to interrupt self-criticism
• How compassion is not indulgence—but strength and support
• Real-life examples of freezing, spiralling, and finding grace
• The difference between pushing through and pausing
• Practical tools for practising self-compassion in daily life

🌱 Listener Takeaways

• Self-compassion isn’t a reward—it’s a lifeline when you're struggling
• You don’t have to earn your worth; it’s already yours
• Small shifts (like noticing your inner critic or putting a hand on your heart) can create big change
• Asking yourself “What would I say to a friend?” can help reframe harsh self-talk
• True compassion empowers us—it helps us move forward, not fall apart

📣 Join the Conversation

What’s one way you could show yourself more compassion this week?

We’d love to hear from you—send us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this episode resonated, please subscribe, share it with a friend, and help us spread the message that you are already enough.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this Sanity Check episode, we take a closer look at the push and pull between busyness and perceived laziness. Following the response to our episode on exhaustion as a status symbol, we explore the idea of productivity—how we define it, how we tie our worth to it, and how we can start shifting the way we measure a 'good day.'

Key Discussion Points:

• The Productivity Trap: Why so many of us feel like we haven't done enough, even when we've checked everything off the list.
• Invisible Labor & Self-Worth: The challenge of feeling satisfied with productivity when the work is intangible, such as emotional caregiving or simply being present.
• Redefining Success: Shifting from valuing only tangible accomplishments to recognizing rest, connection, and well-being as equally productive.
• Breaking the Cycle: How to challenge old conditioning and give ourselves credit for the unseen but deeply valuable aspects of daily life.
• Practical Reframes: Simple mindset shifts and daily check-ins to ensure we're honoring ourselves rather than just our to-do lists.

Listener Takeaways:

• Productivity isn’t just about what you do; it’s about how you feel doing it.
• Rest, connection, and presence matter as much as tangible achievements.
• It’s okay to unlearn the belief that constant busyness equals worthiness.
• Small shifts—like acknowledging your needs each day—can make a big difference.
• You are enough, even on the days where nothing gets checked off.

Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear from you! What does ‘enough’ look like for you these days? Drop us a DM or leave a voicemail. And if this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

And if you need help to feel like you are enough, download our FREE e-book:

ENOUGH - Just As You Are - https://www.youkeepmesane.com/shop/

Thanks for being here—see you next time!

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:

In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive deep into the weight of guilt—how we carry it, why we feel it, and whether it’s even the right word for what we’re experiencing. They explore how guilt is often misplaced, ingrained in us from childhood, and tied to expectations that may not even be ours. Is it actually guilt, or is it just sadness, regret, or feeling bad? And how do we begin to let it go?

Key Discussion Points:

🔹 The Difference Between Guilt and Feeling Bad – Are we actually doing something wrong, or are we just reacting emotionally to life’s complexities?
🔹 The Heavy Weight of Guilt – How guilt creeps into motherhood, relationships, work, and even daily decisions like missing a workout or canceling plans.
🔹 Guilt as a Habit, Not a Truth – The societal and cultural conditioning that teaches us to feel guilty for simply existing.
🔹 Constructive vs. Destructive Guilt – When guilt is useful (motivating repair or change) versus when it’s an unnecessary energy drain.
🔹 Practical Steps to Let Go of Guilt – How reframing, self-compassion, and open conversations can help lighten the load.

Listener Takeaways:

•  Ask yourself: Have I actually done something wrong? If not, it’s not guilt—it’s just a feeling that needs acknowledgment.
• Challenge ingrained guilt—where does it come from? Cultural norms, childhood conditioning, or societal expectations?
• If guilt motivates positive change, use it. If it just weighs you down, let it go.
• Talking about guilt with someone you trust can strip it of its power.

Join the Conversation:

What role does guilt play in your life? Have you been labeling sadness or regret as guilt? We’d love to hear from you! Send us a message or leave a voicemail.

And if you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Remember, you don’t need to carry guilt to prove you care—you are already enough.

BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.

BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

Editor: Allia Lenit Galos

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.