X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships – Details, episodes & analysis

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X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

Scot and Emily McKay

Society & Culture

Frequency: 1 episode/126d. Total Eps: 64

Show notes, free downloads and more at: https://scotandemily.com/podcast | No AI-generated content, ever. | I'm Scot and she's Emily. We're the dating coaches you know and love over at X & Y Communications. Join us for the most heartfelt and action-packed dating podcast on planet Earth. We hit the ground running every show with solid dating and relationship tips from the unique (and often hilarious) perspective of BOTH genders. Less fluff = good stuff. And get this...we never resort to getting trashy. Squeaky clean and a class act all the way. How's that for unique? Grab a listen! And be sure to get in on our newsletter at http://www.scotandemilyt.com. If you like the podcasts you'll love our newsletter. We appreciate your ratings and reviews. Thank you to everyone for your terrific support of this show for the past ten years!

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Episode 87--X & Y On The Fly--The Evolution Of Dating Advice

Saturday, December 26, 2026 • Duration

Dating and relationship advice has gone through significant changes over the last 20 years. Some of it has been good and necessary evolution, some of it downright detrimental and counter-productive. As X & Y Communications marks its 20th anniversary, we look back on the good, the bad and the ugly out there over the years since we opened our doors. First of all, what was up with men having an entire network for getting better with women back in 2005, while women pretty much only had Cosmo articles? And what happened to that "underground society of pickup artists"? What did it quietly turn into...without men even realizing it? As for women, what weird development really established a whole new world of dating advice for them? And what marketing tactic in particular revolutionized all dating advice online...before eventually setting us all back big-time? Whatever happened to all that new-agey dating advice, and the "gurus" who promoted it? Why is so much of the current "dating advice" nothing more that pure clickbait? How did text messaging, social media, dating apps, "toxic masculinity", and the #MeToo movement all play a role in the dating and relationship advice we've been given? And how have Covid and AI affected the whole mix? How have Emily and I ourselves flexed and adapted to change over the years? Most of all, how have mindsets and attitudes evolved (or de-volved?)...on the part of both men and women? Get the free book Dealing With Breakups and more at: https://scotandemily.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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Episode 90--X & Y On The Fly--Our Most Authentic Self

Friday, July 24, 2026 • Duration

In this episode Emily and I acknowledge that authenticity rules, especially if we expect to build meaningful, connected relationships...especially with MOTOS. And indeed, nobody in Western culture wants to come off as fake to anyone, But the tricky question has always been about how to know when you're being your true self. What context is that most likely to occur in...and with whom especially? Well, the hot take this show is built around is that we just might be our most authentic self when we're around those we feel most comfortable with. That's a heavy statement...especially if you don't exactly like who you tend to become around family, best friends and other loved ones. But is it necessarily true? And even if it is, is it necessarily a bad thing that we can express who we really are and what we really feel with those we're closest to, even if it's occasionally unpleasant? Similarly, is it not a good thing to respond plainly and truthfully when they interact with us? And what about "reading the room" and tailoring our behaviors, and even our mindset, to specific situations? Is it "fake" to be adaptive? As it turns out, Emily and I were reminded of this topic and the value of discussing it after a legitimately weird occurrence this past week. We got the perhaps once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to interact with each other as total strangers--even though we've been together for over twenty years. How in the world does that happen? Stay tuned for the story...and why it matters. Get in on the special report "Dealing With Breakups" and get on our calendar to talk when you visit https://scotandemily.com. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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Episode 89--X & Y On The Fly--You Never Outgrow Flirting

Friday, May 15, 2026 • Duration

Yes, we're talking about flirting...and flirting should indeed be fun. If it's work, drudgery, or even creepy and weird then we're not doing it right. Since women love fun, that means they also love to flirt. So what IS flirting really, anyway? And given the stereotype that sex slows down (or stops) after marriage, is it really flirting that stopped first? How is it that couples who actually like each other and are attracted to each other stop flirting? What killed it? The even better question is how do you get your flirt mojo back once you've lost it? Can we not lose it to begin with? What are the big differences between casual flirting with people we don't even know (yet), and flirting with someone we already know, or are in a relationship with? When Emily and I met, we flirted constantly from the first date. Have we slowed down or stopped flirting in our own relationship? And what in the world does parenthood do to flirtatious tendencies? Maybe an even better question is what does parental flirtation do to kids? Does flirting stop after marriage because it's not so easy to be naughty together anymore? After all, sex is perfectly okay in a marriage. What happens to flirting when we get in an argument with our significant other? Is there "aggression flirting" that happens right before the inevitable "make-up sex"? So the bottom line is this: If you're in a relationship and the flirting is MIA, what do you do to get back on track? And if you're hoping to be in a relationship someday, how do you make sure you never stop flirting with each other? Get on our calendar to talk to us for FREE for 25 minutes, and download your free copy of Dealing With Breakups at: https://scotandemily.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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Episode 88--X & Y On The Fly--The Seasons Of Marriage (20 Years In!)

Friday, March 6, 2026 • Duration

Since our last episode, Emily and I celebrated 20 years together. Over the course of two decades, we've realized there are seasons to a marriage. Now obviously, most couples would hope for an endless springtime rather than the winter of their discontent, but what we're talking about here isn't quite so literal. It's not just that things change both in the marriage and around you. That's inevitable in this life. It's not even about the evolution of the marriage, or the both of you over time, really. Rather, it's a definite smooth and perhaps even rhythmic flow from one major theme of your life together into another. Now, Emily and I met when we were in our mid- and late-thirties, respectively. For the benefit of those of you listening who might be younger, what seasons can younger couples expect? Is it all about being DINKS (or even DINKWADS)? What about the "Honeymoon Phase"? And the dreaded "Seven Year Itch"? Does Parenthood count as a season? As for us, we went through "travel season" and "youth sports season". What's next? We were still having kids at 40 and 45 years old, so we aren't "empty nesters" yet. What might that season look like? What about growing old together? What are some surprises that season might bring? Get show notes and more at: https://www.scotandemily.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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Episode 86--X & Y On The Fly--What If You're Disappointed?

Friday, October 17, 2025 • Duration

Well, here's the first thing you can figure out, just from the title: Emily and I are obviously not disappointed enough in each other to avoid such a touchy topic. BUT...maybe that's a clue why this relational disappointment thing never gets talked about much. So what are we actually covering here? I mean, isn't it unrealistic to get into a relationship thinking everything is always going to be perfect and ideal? That brings up the concept of "macro-disappointments" vs. "micro-disappointments". And what about other couple's Facebook highlight reels that only show the shiny, happy stuff? Is that driving unreasonable disappointment on the part of the rest of us? Is there really such thing as "the seven-year itch", and if so is it more about disappointment or boredom? And hey, wait a minute. Isn't boredom disappointing? Does long-term disappointment usually start right at the beginning of a relationship? Why is that? And what about this business of "spicing up a relationship"? How does that work to ward off potential disappointment? Why is being each other's best friend a magic elixir to cure disappointment? What if what causes disappointment is legitimately beyond the control of the disappointing partner? What if a partner is intentionally disappointing, and expecting to get away with it? Why does being "nice" disappoint WAGs? How do couples put their relationship at blatant risk for disappointment? Why is comfort the enemy of marriage excitement? Finally, what if you're actually IN a deeply disappointing relationship. Now what? And by the way, is it any wonder that Rupert Holmes was a "one hit wonder"? Check out https://scotandemily.com and download your free copy of Dealing With Breakups. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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Episode 85--X & Y On The Fly--Dating, Relating And Pets

Friday, August 8, 2025 • Duration

Here comes a long-overdue conversation on how pets affect relationships between men and women. As you might have already imagined, this went in probably every direction you could think of and then some...starting with Emily's thoughts on how men who have cats are p*ssies. Yeah, well...is that always the case? Isn't there such thing as a masculine pet cat? Should men be 'dog people' instead if they want to attract women? If so, what breeds should men think about getting as opposed to other ones? Which are the chick magnets at the local dog park? And women are certainly not off the hook. What breeds of dog should women avoid getting if they expect to get a boyfriend? And more importantly, how many cats are too much for a woman to have...turning her into 'single cat-lady'? Are chickens only for farmers? What if he has reptiles as pets? What's more, what if SHE does? Is a chick with a snake a dealbreaker, let alone 'lizard lady'? What if the two of you like each other, but his Rottweiler would probably consider her new kitten a tasty snack? What if you're a single parent and the kid tugs at your heartstrings to pick a certain person to date...all because they'd score a new puppy in the deal? What if your new wife starts coddling a duck, bunny rabbit or a baby goat instead of you? And should couples get a pet or two as a trial run before making babies? Do pets make blending families even more tricky? Most of all, discover why guinea pigs are not okay under any circumstances and should be banned from the country. Get the show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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Episode 84--X & Y On The Fly--Dealing With Your Ex (Or Theirs)

Friday, May 30, 2025 • Duration

Maybe Emily and I waited almost 20 years to cover this subject because it's a touchy one that hits just a little too close to home for both of us. But hey, it's an important one. How do you deal with your ex...especially if you're now in a new relationship? Check it out, there are at least three categories of ex that could still theoretically be haunting your life after a breakup or divorce. And you'd better believe we'll be covering how to handle the necessarily interactions with each type. But what if your new relationship is being negatively impacted by pesky exes? Or what if your new flame is weirdly jealous of your old one? How do you handle the infamous 'child exchanges' mandated by custody agreements? What if an ex (predictably) tries to drive a wedge between you and your new partner? What if your ex is desperately trying to get you back? Or what if one of you isn't quite over the last relationship? On the other hand, what if you've made a significant upgrade over your ex and they're super upset and catty about your new 'trophy'? And in that case, isn't it weird how we start sort of rooting for our ex to find someone new--and who they like even better--themselves? And on that note, can we actually be friends with our ex, even when we're in a new relationship? Should you delete their numbers from your phone, or not? What if you're in a 'rebound relationship', and it's looking like your new partner might end up back with their old one? Hey...it happens a lot. On the other hand, what if they're toxic and just won't leave well enough alone? And wait a minute, was that a 'Rubberband Man' reference, out of the blue? Get the book Dealing With Breakups and more when you visit https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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Episode 83--X & Y On The Fly--What If We Have Sex Too Soon?

Friday, March 21, 2025 • Duration

Nowadays we live in a culture that extols selfhood and immediate gratification. As marriage becomes less revered as an institution, lots of people are asking if there's really any reason to hold off from having sex extremely early in the relationship...even on the same day they meet. I mean, if that's what both of you want, why not? But as we all know, life has a way of throwing complications at you...even if you're all about nothing more than a sexually transactional relationship. Whatever happened to connection? What even IS 'connection' anyway, and does it have to take very long to happen? If the two of you are horny and just want to have a fling, to what extent do you even HAVE to connect...at all? Isn't sexual chemistry enough in that case? And what if you're a person of faith and don't believe in sex before marriage? Does that mean you're basically supposed to remain platonic friends until your wedding night? Well, we all know the truth about 'technical virginity' and how fragile even that is vis-a-vis natural human urges and impulses. Does having sex too soon in a relationship negatively affect the prospects for a long-term relationship? I mean, can you trust each other away from home when you couldn't even resist temptation together? But on the other hand, can your sexual relationship suffer if you waited too LONG? Why is what most men's dating advice used to teach really a disservice to both women AND men? But wait a minute...does one partner really HAVE to lie or cheat the other in order to make sex happen fast? That aside, what--if anything--do we miss out on as humanoids by rushing into a sexual relationship immediately? What is 'the talk' every couple should have before having sex? (Well, except for ONE key exception!) Get show notes, the free e-book Dealing With Breakups and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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Episode 82--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relating: The Next 25 Years

Friday, January 10, 2025 • Duration

Last week we covered how dating and relating between men and women has evolved over the past quarter century. But what about the next 25 years...and indeed the rest of this century coming up? What's going on with gender politics? Are people finally sick of it? Will we be able to define "man" and "woman" again? Is Masculinity back? Will women start prioritizing motherhood over Hofstedian societal gender roles again? Will people continue being social IRL, or will social media make things even worse? Will we return to valuing the life of our own species? Will we halt the aging process? Then what? Will translators minimize the impact of language barriers? Is AI going to continue to make online dating/apps difficult? Have AI girlfriends already failed forever? What will ultimately replace dating? What about cyber partners? (robots) Will the porn be so good in the future that it really is better than the real thing? (e.g. Virtual physical presence) What will the impact of extreme selfhood be? More narcissism leading to more robotics due to less social resistance? And...the question we all REALLY wonder about: Are we seeing things, or is speed dating making a comeback? The first step to getting ready for whatever is coming in your dating life is to visit https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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Episode 81--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relating: The Last 25 Years

Friday, January 3, 2025 • Duration

Exactly 25 years and one week ago, everyone's attention was on whether or not the dreaded Y2K bug was going to crash the world's computer systems and make planes fall out of the sky. And even as we partied like it was 1999, nobody's nose was buried in their smartphone because those hadn't come out yet. People weren't even texting each other. After all, if on the off chance you had texting on your phone, every message cost like sixty cents. Online dating was in its infancy, but already stigmatized as if any users were desperate losers who 'liked pina coladas'. Indeed, if a guy wanted to ask a woman out the best way to do that was in person (go figure), because picking up the phone and being confronted with an answering machine was just too stressful. But at least actual dating was still a thing rather than simply 'hooking up' or 'hanging out'. Nevertheless, getting quality dating advice from, well...anywhere? Forgettaboutit. Self-help of any kind on the still narrowband Internet was practically unheard of. Even what would become the PUA movement was still limited to 'underground' keyboard jockeys in chat rooms (!) trying to figure out tricks to 'game' women with. Social media was years away, and with it the rise of 'echo chambers' that would shape public opinion (and outrage) on all manner of ways men and women relate to each other. And yes, people were terrified of getting herpes and dying of AIDS, so sexual activity was approached very differently than it is today. Yes, a LOT has changed over the first quarter of the 21st century, and we cover the good, the bad and the ugly in this fast-paced and (actually) fun episode! Download the free e-book How To Deal With Breakups and score other free goodies when you visit: https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships – Details, episodes & analysis

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