X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships – Details, episodes & analysis

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Podcast X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

Scot and Emily McKay

Society & Culture

Frequency: 1 episode/120d. Total Eps: 60

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Show notes, free downloads and more at: https://scotandemily.com/podcast | No AI-generated content, ever. | I'm Scot and she's Emily. We're the dating coaches you know and love over at X & Y Communications. Join us for the most heartfelt and action-packed dating podcast on planet Earth. We hit the ground running every show with solid dating and relationship tips from the unique (and often hilarious) perspective of BOTH genders. Less fluff = good stuff. And get this...we never resort to getting trashy. Squeaky clean and a class act all the way. How's that for unique? Grab a listen! And be sure to get in on our newsletter at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com. If you like the podcasts you'll love our newsletter. You can also find us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/scotandemily. We both also welcome your feedback and program ideas at scotandemily@scotandemily.com or via voicemail at +1 (210) 362-4400. Call or write to us! We appreciate your ratings and reviews. Thank you to everyone for your terrific support of this show for the past ten years!
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  • 🇨🇦 Canada - sexuality

    29/10/2025
    #67
  • 🇨🇦 Canada - sexuality

    25/10/2025
    #85

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Episode 86--X & Y On The Fly--What If You're Disappointed?

vendredi 17 octobre 2025Duration

Well, here's the first thing you can figure out, just from the title: Emily and I are obviously not disappointed enough in each other to avoid such a touchy topic. BUT...maybe that's a clue why this relational disappointment thing never gets talked about much. So what are we actually covering here? I mean, isn't it unrealistic to get into a relationship thinking everything is always going to be perfect and ideal? That brings up the concept of "macro-disappointments" vs. "micro-disappointments". And what about other couple's Facebook highlight reels that only show the shiny, happy stuff? Is that driving unreasonable disappointment on the part of the rest of us? Is there really such thing as "the seven-year itch", and if so is it more about disappointment or boredom? And hey, wait a minute. Isn't boredom disappointing? Does long-term disappointment usually start right at the beginning of a relationship? Why is that? And what about this business of "spicing up a relationship"? How does that work to ward off potential disappointment? Why is being each other's best friend a magic elixir to cure disappointment? What if what causes disappointment is legitimately beyond the control of the disappointing partner? What if a partner is intentionally disappointing, and expecting to get away with it? Why does being "nice" disappoint WAGs? How do couples put their relationship at blatant risk for disappointment? Why is comfort the enemy of marriage excitement? Finally, what if you're actually IN a deeply disappointing relationship. Now what? And by the way, is it any wonder that Rupert Holmes was a "one hit wonder"? Check out https://scotandemily.com and download your free copy of Dealing With Breakups. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Episode 85--X & Y On The Fly--Dating, Relating And Pets

vendredi 8 août 2025Duration

Here comes a long-overdue conversation on how pets affect relationships between men and women. As you might have already imagined, this went in probably every direction you could think of and then some...starting with Emily's thoughts on how men who have cats are p*ssies. Yeah, well...is that always the case? Isn't there such thing as a masculine pet cat? Should men be 'dog people' instead if they want to attract women? If so, what breeds should men think about getting as opposed to other ones? Which are the chick magnets at the local dog park? And women are certainly not off the hook. What breeds of dog should women avoid getting if they expect to get a boyfriend? And more importantly, how many cats are too much for a woman to have...turning her into 'single cat-lady'? Are chickens only for farmers? What if he has reptiles as pets? What's more, what if SHE does? Is a chick with a snake a dealbreaker, let alone 'lizard lady'? What if the two of you like each other, but his Rottweiler would probably consider her new kitten a tasty snack? What if you're a single parent and the kid tugs at your heartstrings to pick a certain person to date...all because they'd score a new puppy in the deal? What if your new wife starts coddling a duck, bunny rabbit or a baby goat instead of you? And should couples get a pet or two as a trial run before making babies? Do pets make blending families even more tricky? Most of all, discover why guinea pigs are not okay under any circumstances and should be banned from the country. Get the show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Episode 76--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relationships With Someone Younger

vendredi 19 janvier 2024Duration

Finally, here's the full episode on a topic that everyone wonders about. It's no secret that men often want to date younger women. But what is it about those guys who are actually successful at doing so? And is it really true that many amazing young women actually prefer older men? First off, what actually counts as an 'older man' to a younger woman? Does the 'half your age plus seven' rule make any sense? What if our mental images and/or stereotypes about what an older man and younger woman look like as a couple are challenged? Above and beyond all of that, what are some legit factors to consider when there's an age gap? I mean, is age really 'just a number'? What's up with dating sites only for people over fifty...is that what the market is really looking for? And speaking of online dating, how about those sites that specialize in 'sugar daddy' arrangements? Is there something to be said for being an 'old soul', looking for someone who's a better fit at an older age? Or is it that younger women like older men because 'little boys don't grow up'? Wait a minute...on that note, is it that men who prefer younger women really only want a tighter, sexually fit body to have sex with? Or is there more to both what younger women and older men tend to be looking for? And what about the 'skeletons in the closet' as we get older, and the effect it has on dating someone younger? What if older guy's new young wife wants to have kids? And is younger wife still gonna be 'all in' when her husband is old and in need of care while she's still young and active? And wait a minute...what about the newest trend of older women basically demanding a younger man to go out with? What's driving that? Pick your time to talk to us 1-on-1, download the free book and more when you go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Episode 75--X & Y On The Fly--First Date Weirdness? You Are NOT Alone

vendredi 10 novembre 2023Duration

If you've been out there dating for any time at all, you've likely compiled your fair share of weird dating stories. It's easy to think that those situations could only happen to you, and you've GOT to be the only one. But guess what? PLENTY of apparent weirdness on first dates is tons more common than you probably guess. This time around Emily and I recount not only a few of our own most bizzaro stories, but those of others we've heard from over the years. You can likely guess we started off with tales of gross misrepresentation and false advertising online. That topic is closely followed by talk about those awkward instances when only one of you thinks the date went well. Backlash when it didn't go well? We've got you covered. What about when they won't go away quietly? And don't forget those completely inappropriate demonstrations of or impatience about sexuality up front...or the opposite, taking FOREVER to make a move. What if your date (or you) are too flirty with everyone else? What if they become drunk and stupid...is that their "real self"? How is a date supposed to go well if the guy talks about his Mommy all the time (or worse)? Have you ever had a date bring unexpected "guests"...either literally or figuratively? What are the signs they're not even in the same reality as you? Maybe you're better off if they do, in fact, leave with someone else (as we finally get around to talking about as well). Get on our calendar and let's make a plan for YOU to get your dating life solved in 2024. https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Episode 74--X & Y On The Fly--Creepy People

vendredi 1 septembre 2023Duration

We've all found ourselves out on a date with someone who creeped us out. And no...it's not gender-specific. But what does 'creepy' even mean? Why is it often so hard to define? Well, in this episode we break down exactly what constitutes such infamous creepy behavior...and how it tends to impact men and women differently. Is it possible some people don't even realize they're being creepy? Do others know for sure they are in fact creeps, but like it that way? What's more, why is it perfectly normal guys are often so concerned they're going to come across as creepy? How do we relax and avoid that worry...lest it weirdly become a self-fulfilling prophecy? What is the difference between male creepy behavior and the female version? How many women out there have somehow convinced themselves it's impossible for them to be creepy? Stay tuned for the one shining example of how the absolute best of intentions can actually backfire spectacularly and seem insanely creepy. What are the warning signs that the person you're with is starting to get creeped out? Next, Emily creeps me out in real time by randomly shifting the discussion to disgusting bodily functions...and in doing so makes a really good point. What kind of behavior might be creepy when you barely know someone, but completely normal and okay once you've been around each other for a while? And why is that? Under what rare circumstances could a certain person get away with something socially that would be creepy if nearly anyone else did it? If a first date is going in a creepy direction, is there any way to salvage it? Is 'Mr. Nice Guy' creepy to women? How can a man who by all appearances should be the most attractive to women easily end up being the creepy guy instead...for the same reasons? And why is is that whether we move too quickly or too slowly sexually, we're creepy? Get on our calendar and talk to us. The first 25 minutes is free: https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Episode 73--X & Y On The Fly--What Does A Normal Relationship Look Like?

vendredi 23 juin 2023Duration

Every couple thinks and behaves differently. You've probably thought and behaved differently depending on who your significant other was at a particular time in history. But for sure there are, well...'standards' that tend to rule any polite, public conversation about how men and women typically are when they're a couple, and what's 'normal'. So then, what IS 'normal'? Is there really such a thing? And if so, is that really what's BEST in a particular relationship...especially for YOU and your partner? After all, sometimes 'normalcy' is unhappy. What kind of feelings should a couple have for each other? Can initial attraction and 'chemistry' possibly be a bad or dangerous thing, as some so-called experts say? On the other hand, is there any merit to the idea of 'learning to love each other'? And how do 'normal' couples behave? Is it healthy to 'fight', as some dating coaches have suggested? Or should you always be 'shiny and happy' instead? Surely, there has to be some middle ground, right? And what about jealousy...how much of that is 'normal'? Is total equality between men and women the new norm for most couples? And what about sex? Does any idea of what's 'normal' go completely out the window behind closed doors...or are most of us actually a lot more normal than we think we are? Get all the show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Episode 72--X & Y On The Fly--All About Power Couples

vendredi 14 avril 2023Duration

You hear the term 'power couple' quite a bit, but what exactly does it mean? We know one when we see one, for sure. But is it necessarily a good thing? Would we want to team up with our significant other to BE one? If so, how do we BECOME one? Well, let's first get this out in the open: I'm not sure whether we are indeed a 'power couple' or not, especialy after this conversation...as entertaining and informative as it was. So then, how about it? What kind of 'power' are we talking about here, anyway? What does it take for a couple to add up to more than the sum of their individual parts? What are the actual, real-world traits of a 'power couple'? Can a couple be a 'power couple' simply by acting like one, or does that distinction have to be earned...if not bestowed upon them by others? What are the different ways can a couple indeed be powerful? Doesn't the expectation to be a 'power couple' put a lot of pressure on spouses, especially if one wants it more than the other? Is this something we should aspire to--in one way or another--or does it all only relegate the relationship to feeling more like 'work' again? Is it true in this case that the bigger they are, the harder they fall? And hey, is there such thing as 'power parents'? That sounds flat-out cringeworthy. One thing's for sure about this episode, we didn't leave anything on the table, all the while taking ourselves far less seriously than any 'power couple' typically should. Catch show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Episode 71--X & Y On The Fly--What Dating Is Like For Attractive Women

vendredi 3 février 2023Duration

It seems to everyone paying attention that beautiful women enjoy a massive 'halo effect'. It's like they're treated like celebrities--or even royalty--everywhere they go. But what else is going on there? What's it REALLY like to be a sexy, attractive woman out there in the dating world? Well, in my decidedly un-biased opinion, Emily is exactly the right female human being to offer first-hand perspective on all of this. First, off, we talk about how there are two kinds of women...those who rely on their looks, and those who see the bigger picture. What's life like for each? Do women look for reasons to 'reject' men? And what's it like to have to put almost everyone in the JBF Zone? What do truly attractive women really think when a man compliments them? Could it really be true that the hotter a woman is, the LESS she gets asked out (even if she's 'hit on' more)? Do women really enjoy their ability to 'get laid' by almost anyone, anytime...or is that only how men think? What is the BIGGEST problem beautiful women face when dating? What's the real-world social difference between childhood beauty queens and late bloomers? Are there women who don't realize they're beautiful? Why do some women burn through a cycle of commitment phobic men, while others get proposed to early and often? What about women who weaponize their looks...how does that work? And what's the deal with 'self-made sexy women'? What does that even mean? So sure, attractive women may have the power in dating...but do they WANT it? What happens when they meet a chooser instead of another chaser? Get all the free stuff you can handle, and talk to me for FREE when you visit https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Episode 70--X & Y On The Fly--Weed Out The Wrong Ones

vendredi 25 novembre 2022Duration

Who knows why this topic hadn't been covered yet around here? My edumckayted guess is it probably had something to do with repressed memories. Yes, Emily and I both are survivors of first marriages affected by profound illness. And yes...we both strongly agree you would be better off avoiding psychotic people in general, especially as romantic partners. But when you get right down to it, that's only one kind of person who you should definitely write out of your romantic story. So why is it, then, that too many people end up with the wrong person? Is it that they ignore red flags? Is it failure to even recognize red flags at all? Or does low self-esteem compel people to settle, which is at least better than being lonely? Is it about being 'clouded by beauty vision'? For sure, some people are manipulated or even threatened by black-hearted partners into sticking around. Or what if it's something else entirely? Well, here at X & Y Communications we believe in deserving what you want. That means rolling up the sleeves and doing what it takes to make the right relationships happen. Well, after this ironically funny and entertaining episode, we pledge you'll be much better equipped to pick up on warning signs, make better decisions and most of all...ultimately weed out crazy, selfish, mean, addicted, needy and/or fundamentally incompatible people. Visit the web site for free downloads, show notes and to talk to us FREE for 25 minutes: https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

Episode 69--X & Y On The Fly--Blended Families

vendredi 2 septembre 2022Duration

Let's face it, when single moms and single dads get together, it's pure naive idealism that would cause us to expect we're creating our own Brady Bunch. The reality of blended families is much different. Emily and I have been there ourselves, and have first-hand experience. We know full well it can seem more like being put through a Vita-Mix than a mere blender. But does it have to be such an ordeal? Well, there's no doubt that bringing everyone involved under one roof is a challenge, but yes...there is plenty of 20/20 foresight that can minimize both the drama and the pain. And what if you're already all together and facing profound issues as a blended family? No worries, Emily and I have real, actionable answers for you as well. So, why is blending a family uniquely different when it comes to baseline compatibility measures? What should we think about BEFORE dating a single parent? How does selfishness creep in to the picture...often with devastating results? What if you straight-up don't like each other's kids? What's the first thing that ought to happen as soon as you get engaged to a single parent? And what is the best way to give each of your kids a measure of ownership over their own destiny as step-kids, without conceding parental control? This is a big topic for sure, but prepared to be amazed by how much ground gets covered in one episode. Nevertheless, if this show raised more questions, please write us at scotandemily@scotandemily.com and/or visit us at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!

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