Explore every episode of the podcast WTF is AuDHD?

In this episode, we thought it was a good time to talk about the "ADHD (and autism) are a superpower" narrative, after Paris Hilton recently hosted her UNSTOPPABLE event for neurodivergent creators.

While we appreciate any awareness and advocacy (especially from people so well known), a lot of the discourse from that event has reignited the rhetoric that our disabilities are superpowers.

The sentiment is often well-intentioned, but does calling our disability a superpower actually resonate with everyone? Does it empower us, gloss over the challenges, or maybe do a bit of both?

We discuss our thoughts on Paris Hilton's recent advocacy, our own feelings on the "superpower" topic, and reflect on how you - our listeners - feel about it. Join our Reddit to be part of the convo!

Plus, we've got a very exciting WTF Journals update: THE STORE IS LIVE AGAIN - limited stock only! wtfjournals.com

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The term 'accommodations' can sometimes sound like a big, unattainable thing - especially when you're conscious of asking others to help. But this week, we want to chat about how you can learn to make your own life easier, even without a diagnosis.

We're talking about accommodations: what they are, why they're not just for people with a formal diagnosis, and how small adjustments to your everyday life can make a big difference.

You don't need a diagnosis, permission or a complicated support plan to accommodate yourself. The first step is identifying your needs (arguably the hardest part!). Once you know what you need, sometimes it's as simple as finding a workaround, changing the way you approach a task, or giving yourself permission to do things differently.

We asked you, our listeners, to share the accommodations you've made in your own lives, and the responses are full of clever, practical and simple ideas that you might want to steal for yourself!

P.S. We end up talking about pleasure and intimate relationships towards the end of this episode – so, beware of little ears who might be listening!

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Do you ever finally build up the motivation to do a task you've been delaying for a while, only to be stumped by an unexpected roadblock in the first five minutes? Does your brain find it difficult to change contexts? In this episode we discuss why it is SO hard to just do the thing sometimes, and why can one tiny roadblock completely derail your entire day.

We're talking inertia, context switching and the experience of finally getting into a task, only to have something go wrong and suddenly be unable to do literally anything else. We discuss the combination of autistic intertia, ADHD executive function and how this can be hugely challenging as an AuDHDer.

Even though it might look like you're procrastinating, underneath the surface, there's often more going on.

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Forgotten subscriptions, late fees, food rotting in the fridge, buying things you already own, and paying $40 for takeaway because cooking feels like an Olympic sport - those are just a few examples of the colloquial ADHD tax - all the extra money we end up spending because our brains work a little differently.

In this episode, we unpack the financial consequences of ADHD, from impulsive purchases and procrastination to time blindness, executive dysfunction and the cost of convenience.

We share our own ADHD tax moments, explore the shame that can come with money struggles, and also share your ADHD experiences (join our Reddit to be part of the conversation!)

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Money is hard for everyone, but add ADHD and autism into the mix and it can feel like being thrown around a washing machine.

In this episode, Ellie and Paige chat about our volatile relationships with money: the freelance feast-or-famine cycle, impulse spending, hoarding out of fear, and the shame that follows.

We talk about:

• Why so many people are struggling more than social media shows, and the “broke to look rich” effect
• How ADHD affects money: impulse control, executive function, time blindness and bill paralysis
• Why we hate direct debits, how budgets and spreadsheets don't often help us, and the shame spiral that follows
• Childhood spending habits (the impulsive spender vs. the fearful hoarder)
• Why financial literacy was never taught, and how Simran Kaur’s Friends That Invest made investing feel less intimidating
• How medication changed our relationship with impulse buying
• Practical ideas: a 24-hour cart rule, keeping your own money in a shared relationship, and valuing time and autonomy over a big bank balance

There are no quick fixes here, just a reminder that you’re not alone and not bad with money because you’re a bad person. Next wee we chat about the "ADHD tax"!

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In this week’s episode, we start with a listener who posted in our Reddit about their vivid dreams. We chat about dreams and our relationship with them - before getting into our main topic: self-talk before and after diagnosis, and why it matters.

We’re talking self-esteem, the impact of all those tiny, everyday rejections, and how they can add up over time - especially when you’re autistic or ADHD and don’t yet know it.

We look at how diagnosis has changed the way we understand our brains and our behaviour, but most importantly, how it’s changed the way we talk to ourselves.

Because sometimes the biggest change after an AuDHD diagnosis isn’t what you do differently, or even the medication you might be prescribed. Sometimes, it’s simply having the knowledge to understand yourself and be kinder to yourself.

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In this episode, we go back in time and try to remember what our childhood bedrooms looked like - and what they might have been showing us in hindsight!

Our Mum, Karen, also joins us with her memories to see whether her recollection matches ours. Plus, we hear from you about your childhood bedrooms, and it turns out there are some pretty interesting patterns and themes.

Near the beginning of the episode, we also have a little message for anyone whose parents might be struggling to understand or accept their late diagnosis. If it resonates with you and your experience, perhaps send it to someone who might need to hear it.

Join our Reddit to be part of the conversation!

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Trigger warning: this episode talks about self harm, as well as somber chats with regard to loss and grief that could be upsetting for some.

In this episode, Ellie and Paige chat about grief and loss after a listener wrote in currently navigating grief as an AuDHDer. We speak about our own experiences with grief, "unhealthy" ways we dealt with it, and whether we think ADHD and autistic people have a harder time with grief compared to the general population. Ellie also brings a study that explores grief in different neurotypes (Understanding the Neurodiversity of Grief, Mair et.al).

Join our Reddit to be part of the conversation

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Our Mum Karen joins us again to share her experiences bringing on bringing us up as undiagnosed kids - and managing our Dad who was also undiagnosed - leading to an absolute mad-house! Mum opens up about what she'd do differently, how Dad's ADHD diagnosis kicked off a domino effect through the whole family, and what it's meant for her to watch us finally understand ourselves. She shares how tough it was trying to get help for Paige, getting no answers and Paige reflects on how those experiences impacted her and her self esteem. We get a little emotional in this one, and we hope it helps other families feel less alone.

LINKTREE

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Our beautiful Mum, Karen, joins Ellie and Paige for this week’s episode!

We get to know her a little better, from what she was like growing up to her memories of raising two very different kids.

We talk about what we were like at home vs. at school, just how different we were (literally chalk and cheese!), the things Mum noticed (and the things she didn’t) and why Ellie in particular managed to fly so far under the radar.

And this is only part one! Next week, Mum joins us again to dive deeper into what, if anything, she would have done differently, how her perspective has changed since our diagnoses, and her experiences trying to support Paige and being dismissed by the medical system.

Also, there's one week left to order your WTF Journal and be part of our Founding Member launch. Get yours here - wtfjournals.com

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In this episode, we continue our conversation with Kate Manihera (aka DJ "Sexy Kate") - a late-diagnosed autistic/ADHD content creator, model, and DJ based in Aotearoa, New Zealand.

After years of high-masking and high-achieving - from beauty influencing to a corporate career in Māori cultural strategy and organisational development - Kate's diagnoses in her late 20s sparked a full life reset: leaving her job, working through burnout, and rebuilding her career around what actually lights her up.

Kate talks about navigating previous romantic relationships and what she's learnt about herself since. She also discusses the Māori concepts of aroreretini (ADHD) and takiwātanga (autism), which reframe neurodivergence as difference rather than deficit.

Follow her at @katemanihera on Instagram, or check out her DJ sets on SoundCloud.

The pre-order window is still open to purchase one of our WTF Journals as well! https://wtfjournals.com

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On today's episode, Ellie and Paige speak with Kate Manihera - a New Zealand-based content creator, DJ, model, and former makeup artist/beauty YouTuber who was diagnosed with ADHD at 26 and autism at 27.

Since her late diagnosis, she's brought awareness and education around late-diagnosed ADHD and autism through content creation, alongside her modelling and an emerging DJ career! Kate chats about how she came to diagnosis, misdiagnoses she received, socially struggling (but appearing capable), masking and bullying, and Kate also shares helpful insight into her medication journey.

Kate is Māori (an indigenous person of Aotearoa/New Zealand), and therefore brings a perspective the podcast hasn't featured before. We chat about masking, burnout, being "too much" and misunderstood, and learning to unmask and trust her authentic self. Next week, Kate joins us again to chat about relationships, managing her life and career and gives more insight into the Māori definitions of Autism and ADHD.

We're so grateful for Kate's time and kōrero (conversation) - if you want to follow Kate, follow her HERE.

Also, WTF Journals are now live! Well, the pre-order window anyway. Order now from wtfjournals.com - the pre-order window is open for three weeks.

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In this week's episode, Ellie and Paige answer a listener question about medication and their experience with Fluoxetine, we discuss an upcoming ADHD documentary and Paige highlights one of her fave journal inserts coming out next week.

Some more context on the upcoming documentary - a couple of weeks ago Channel 4 announced a new ADHD documentary is in production and our first instincts solely based on the title were... uncomfortable? It's called The Great ADHD Myth?' and we thought it was important to have a nuanced discussion about this, based on what we know so far.

The Great ADHD Myth? asks whether ADHD is actually a neurodevelopmental condition - or whether modern life is creating the behaviours we call ADHD. We chat about the questions the NHS Psychiatrist will be investigating in the documentary, whether we think, these will be helpful or harmful and discuss missed opportunities we think the content might be issing.

Full disclosure; the documentary isn't out yet, so we're only able to base our chats on what we know from the above article, but we feel that even the article is purposely inflammatory and could be harmful, which is frustrating when we've spent years trying to remove so much stigma.

Also, we're one week out from launching our journals - sign up before Tuesday 18th to become a Founding Member if you choose to purchase! https://wtfjournals.com/signup

Join our Reddit community to get involved in our conversations.

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Ellie loves an infodump and today she's gone on a deep dive about the history of ADHD. Ever wondered when it was first mentioned in literature? Or why it became a 'disorder' in modern day society? Did ADHD always exist, or has it just become a 'thing' in the last 100 years?

ADHD might feel like a modern diagnosis, but the traits we associate with it have been described for centuries - from early descriptions of attention and hyperactivity, to the diagnosis entering the DSM, and the question of what ADHD might have looked like before modern society. We explore theories that some ADHD traits may have been advantageous in certain environments, and discuss that perhaps the manifestation of ADHD is heavily influenced by a mismatch between brains and the world we're living in.

Check out Dr. Russell Barkley's YouTube Channel

Citation #1: Dan TA Eisenberg, Benjamin Campbell, Peter B Gray, Michael D Sorenson - An exploration of nutrition indices among nomadic and recently settled Ariaal men of northern Kenya

Citation #2: David L. Barack et. al - Attention deficits linked with proclivity to explore while foraging

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Why is it that we can be incredibly capable, creative and motivated, but somehow struggle to organise our own lives? We've spent our whole lives trying to create routines, stick to planners, build systems and pretty much everytime, we abandon them, forget about them, or decide we've failed the moment we miss a day. This has led to years of shame, low self esteem, burnout - you name it!

In this episode, we talk about our experiences with executive dysfunction, and reveal why sometimes we're just lacking the flint to our fire - once the fire is going, we can find momentum, but the systems in today's world aren't kind to our brains. We unpack why traditional systems can be so difficult for AuDHD brains - and why sometimes, we don't need more discipline - w just need the right flint to get the fire started.

After years of struggling, we've created our own customisable journal system and we're hoping it helps you too!

Sign up to become a WTF Journal Founding Member - (includes $10 off your first order)

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Stress affects everyone, but sometimes we don't always become aware of it until it's too late.

In this episode, Ellie and Paige talk about their experiences with stress and how they've learnt to look for physical signs early. The body and mind are super connected, but Westernised medicine generally doesn't approach this holistic ideology, leading to a disconnect between your thoughts and feelings, and what your body is trying to say.

After Ellie's body recently burnt out, she's trying to learn how to identify it earlier and encourage others to listen to their bodies too. We ask our listeners how stress manifests physically in them, and there are a lot of clear themes that come up. Hopefully this episode will help you identify early signs of stress, be kinder to yourself and not always feel you have to "push through".

Join the conversation by joining our Reddit!

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This week, we've swapped places and now Paige has been sick! So in the spirit of accommodating ourselves, but still providing you with some fun, we're continuing to answer your questions.

We chat about light-hearted subjects like our star signs, to giving our opinions on disclosing your diagnosis to healthcare professionals and potential employers. We discuss how we balance our lives to avoid burnout (spoiler alert: we're still workjing on it) we finally reveal "the hill we will die on".

Thanks for your patience as we both get back to full health - we'll be back with a proper episode next week!

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Full disclosure - Ellie is super sick this week and because we self-produce this, we needed an accessible, low-effort topic, that would still be interesting to you - so we opened up your questions!

Did we used to fight as kids? What are we watching at the moment? Our go-to meals? What is our fave part of being AuDHD? And more!

Join our Reddit to participate in future conversations with us.

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We have both struggled with clothing for our entire life - it's a double-prong of sensory icks and societal expectations that really drive us up the wall. For many neurodivergent people, clothes can be a daily sensory battle, so in this episode, we chat about our favourite "safe clothes", why certain fabrics make us want to crawl out of our skin, the emotional side of getting dressed, the societal expectations of gender-based dressing and general social decorum, and why comfort should always win over fashion!

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CONTENT DISCLAIMER: This episode contains discussions about sex, intimacy, masking, consent, and unwanted sexual experiences. Please listen with caution. It also contains some EXPLICIT language, so be mindful of younger ears.

This week we're discussing a topic that many people experience but rarely talk about: masking during sex and intimacy.

After receiving a vulnerable email from a listener who described feeling like they were performing through every sexual experience, we wanted to explore the complicated relationship between masking, people-pleasing, sensory experiences, expectations, and intimacy.

We talk about our own experiences growing up as women, the messages we received about sex and relationships, and how being neurodivergent can sometimes make it difficult to identify, communicate, and prioritise our own needs. We also discuss the difference between wanting something and feeling like you should want it, as well as the exhaustion that can come from constantly performing for others.

As always, we're sharing personal experiences and listener stories rather than diagnostic criteria, and we recognise that everyone's relationship with sex and intimacy is different.

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Before we were diagnosed, Paige and Ellie dismissed the possibility that we could be autistic because we didn't match the stereotypes we'd been exposed to. Even though Paige suspected she was autistic at 15, the environmental voices were so loud she gave up.

In this episode, we're unpacking some of the reasons we didn't think we could be autistic and the experiences we later realised were showing up differently than we expected.

As always, we're sharing our personal stories and experiences, not providing diagnostic advice. These traits don't automatically mean someone is autistic, but they may help explain why so many late-diagnosed and AuDHD people overlooked autism in themselves for years.

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Before we jump into this week's episode - we have a new Reddit! The other one will be going to the graveyard, so join our new one here: https://www.reddit.com/r/wtfisaudhd

In this episode we chat about the hobbies, journals, activities we swore we'd stick to... only to abandon then a few weeks later.

From the feelings of "this is it!" "this is my new thing" to the shame and embarrassment that comes after you've forgotten it even exists. We explore why ADHD brains become so intensely focused on new interests, why that motivation can disappear seemingly overnight, and the guilt, shame and financial "ADHD tax" that often follows. We also discuss your contributions around hobbies and dusty journals from the new Reddit community.

Plus, we received a message from our local psychologist Mike Cochrane about scam diagnoses and how to keep an eye out for illiegitimate 'experts'.

And speaking of things we've abandoned in the past... Paige brings her latest journal updates - and how she's trying her best to ensure this is a journal that stays with you forever! More info at wtfjournals.com/signup

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Modern life can sometimes feel like actual torture for an ADHD brain - and it really can be!

In this episode, we chat about dopamine, procrastination, novelty-seeking, and why so many apps, algorithms, and endless notifications are designed to hijack everyone's brains. Then when you add in the ADHD, we become the perfect target.

We look at the ways modern life may be making life harder for ADHDers, and we share some personal examples minor tasks we've avoided, even though it would help us in the long run. If you're struggling in this modern day, overstimulating world - you are not alone.

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Why do so many autistic, ADHD and AuDHD people experience a constant feeling that something is “wrong” or about to go wrong?

In this episode of WTF is AuDHD?, we explore our experiences with the feeling of impending doom. We theorise why it might be experienced more in our community - from anxiety and sensory overload to nervous system activation, interoception, uncertainty intolerance and emotional dysregulation.

We also share a few funny stories from the week that was, that include a lost cellphone and a tea kettle #adhdthings

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In this episode, Ellie and Paige reflect on Ellie's recent overseas trip and why Amsterdam in particular was kind to her neurodivergent mind. We go on a few side quests along the way, chatting about Ellie's recent engagement, Paige tells a story about having Tourette's in public and we accidentally end up analysing marriage. In the second half of the episode, we chat all about movies and why we both find it hard to commit to them. Ellie brings some research on why some autistic/ADHD people struggle with movies and we bring our own lived experience. We're curious to know - do you also struggle to commit to movies?

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Why does being seen feel so uncomfortable… even when nothing’s actually wrong?

In this episode, we unpack the fear of being perceived - something that shows up in many people from the neurodivergent community. From overthinking how we’re coming across, to feeling exposed just existing in public (and private!), to avoiding being watched altogether (lockdown was an interesting time) - we share what this experience feels like for us.

Maybe you'll recognise this in yourself too? We talk about masking, perfectionism, shame, and the weird contradiction of wanting to be understood but not wanting to be perceived.

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What completely dysregulates you that might seem a bit unusual to someone else? This episode is basically a collection of “why does THIS send me over the edge?” moments.

We’re sharing the things that dysregulate us as AuDHDers - from noises, to sounds, to textures, to general demands - we share our own experiences plus read out the ones you sent us on Instagram.

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Content note: This episode discusses cannabis use and self-medication. We’re sharing personal experiences, not medical advice. If medicinal cannabis is legal in your country/state, please see a healthcare professional to discuss your prescription options.

In this episode, we explore why cannabis use seems to be relatively common among ADHD and autistic people - and what we’ve personally noticed. Even though we're sisters, we've both had different relationships with it.

We talk about how it affects our brains and bodies, the ways it can help (and sometimes not help), and the very loose science behind why this might be the case. We chat about the endocannabinoid system and how that system might work differently in autistic people and discuss whether this might be why it helps some of us feel "normal".

Again, this isn't medical advice, it's just a casual chat about something that isn’t talked about enough.

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In this episode, we’re talking about Hyperventilation Syndrome and how easy it is to get stuck in an anxiety-breathing feedback loop without even realising.

If you often feel dizzy, tight-chested, or like you can't catch a literal breath - you might relate to our personal experiences with chronic hyperventilation throughout our lives.

We also touch on Ellie's lived experience with “W sitting” (if you know, you know). We chat about why so many neurodivergent people do it, why it’s not ideal for development, and how it’s impacted Ellie's body long-term.

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Trigger warning: this episode discusses Ellie and Paige's experiences with manipulation, sexual harm and harrassment. Listen with care.

In this episode, we’re talking about some of the harder experiences we’ve had - including manipulation, bullying, and situations where consent and safety weren’t always clear at the time. Our aim with this chat is to help you recognise harm and vaildate similar experiences you may have had.

We explore this through an AuDHD lens, unpacking things like missing red flags, people-pleasing, delayed processing, and the moments where we only realised later that something wasn’t okay.

This isn’t a graphic episode - it’s a reflective one. We’re focusing on patterns, understanding, and what we wish we’d known earlier.

Please take care while listening: pause, skip, or come back to this when you feel ready.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit: https://www.wannatalkaboutit.com/

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Trigger warning: this episode contains light conversations surrounding eating and disordered eating.

In this episode, we’re joined by Erin - an ADHDer and dietician (Balance and Bite) - to unpack what neuroaffirming nutrition actually looks like and why traditional advice around food so often doesn’t work for neurodivergent people.

Erin talks to us about the real reasons the neurodivergent population struggle with food - from executive dysfunction and dopamine-seeking, to sensory needs, decision fatigue, and burnout. We explore why advice like “just eat when you’re hungry” or “just use willpower” can fall apart, and how these challenges are often misunderstood as personal failure rather than differences in how our brains work.

We also dive into binge eating, emotional eating, and the role food can play in regulation - reframing these behaviours with compassion instead of shame.

Erin shares practical, ADHD-friendly strategies to make eating feel easier, support energy and focus, and reduce overwhelm without aiming for perfection. We hope you walk away from this episode feeling validated and carrying less shame around food.

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In this episode, we share our personal journeys of improving our gut health - and why it’s become something we’re paying a lot more attention to.

This isn’t a dieting episode, we just feel passionate about sharing our personal experiences when it comes to gut health. We explore the gut-brain connection, why gut health plays such a big role in mood, energy, and regulation, and why it can be especially important for AuDHD brains.

We talk about the small, realistic changes we’ve made, how adding (not restricting) foods has shifted our mindset, and why we started thinking about our microbiome in a completely different way - even personifying it to help us take better care of it.

If you’ve ever struggled with consistency, motivation, or knowing where to start when it comes to looking after your body, you're not alone and we hope this episode will be a gentle, non-judgemental place to begin.

Next week, we’re joined by a neurodivergent dietician to dive even deeper into nutrition for neurodivergent people, and why traditional approaches don't work for us.

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Connection and loneliness are two of the most common experiences in the neurodivergent community. So in this episode, we chat to 27-year-old Holly Fowler - founder and CEO of Wable, an app designed to help neurodivergent people connect through friendship, dating, and work. This is not sponsored, it's just a genuine chat between three neurodivergent who want the world to be a better place for everyone.

Holly shares how a spontaneous DM to Michael Theo after watching Love on the Spectrum led to a four-year journey of building Wable from the ground up - despite having no prior startup experience, navigating ADHD and OCD, and facing intense stress along the way.

We talk about how her neurodivergence shows up in both challenging and powerful ways - from paralysing OCD rituals to the hyperfocus and determination that helped bring Wable to life. Holly opens up about her experiences with ADHD and OCD, burnout, hospitalisations, and the reality of building something meaningful while managing her mental health.

We also dive into how Wable works, how she's made it inclusive and accessible, and why neurodivergent people often struggle to find connection in traditional spaces.

Paige also introduces the project she's been working on for YEARS - and we need your help with it! Follow @wtf.journals on Instagram for more info.

Search 'Wable' on the App Store or Google Play.

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In this episode, we unpack the concept of internalised ableism - and how it can shape the way neurodivergent people see themselves.

Growing up in a world designed for neurotypical brains often means receiving constant messages that we’re lazy, disorganised, too sensitive, or not trying hard enough. Over time, those messages can become internalised, turning into our own inner voice.

We talk about what ableism actually is, why AuDHD people are vulnerable to internalising it, and the ways it has shown up in our own lives - from pushing through burnout to holding ourselves to impossible standards.

This episode explores the shame many neurodivergent people carry, and how recognising internalised ableism can be the first step toward self-compassion and understanding.

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Content warning: this episode touches on assault, trauma and manipulation. Listen with care.

Disclaimer: this was recorded before Britney Spears' arrest on March 5th.

In this episode of WTF is AuDHD?, Ellie and Paige dive into a candid conversation about how the world - and the systems around us - often fail neurodivergent people.

Observing the experiences of celebrities like Britney Spears, Billie Eilish, Lewis Capaldi, and Demi Lovato, we lightly explore how fame can amplify the challenges of living with ADHD, autism, or AuDHD - especially when diagnosis comes late or is misunderstood.

From public “meltdowns” to media scrutiny, the conversation looks at what might actually be happening beneath the surface: rejection sensitivity, burnout, trauma, and the pressure of living in a world not built for neurodivergent brains. And how the systems fail us entirely, leading to isolation and reckless behaviour.

Ellie shares her long‑standing fascination with famous child stars and why so many of them seem to struggle, plus she shares her own experiences of being in the spotlight as an undiagnosed AuDHDer. Paige shares her experiences of feeling used, abused and discarded once she expressed what she needed - and the ongoing trauma that comes with that.

This episode explores:

• Why so many famous people appear to be neurodivergent
• The link between creativity, success, and ADHD/autism
• How fame can intensify rejection sensitivity and burnout
• Why women are so often misdiagnosed
• And why empathy matters when we see someone struggling in the public eye

As always, this conversation is honest, curious, and unfiltered - and based on our personal opinions and analysis.

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This week’s episode is a raw, unfiltered check-in where Ellie and Paige sit down (slightly lower in energy than usual), to talk honestly about how they're feeling - burnout, survival mode, and what can happen when your nervous system has been holding it together for too long. We talk financial stress under capitalism, sensory overload, relief instead of achievement and why the world feels especially heavy right now for neurodivergent people.

We also discuss a listener post from our Reddit (and no, the Reddit isn't fixed sorry), about whether AuDHD is a good name for the neurotype of meeting criteria for both autism and ADHD.

Note: Ellie's audio goes funny around 27 mins due to an accidental mute... woops! We have cut a segment out regarding medication that we will re-record for a future episode.

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In this episode, we kick things off with a real-life catch-up - burnout, taking back your power, and why stories like figure skater Alysa Liu (Olympic Gold Medalist) matter so much when it comes to ADHD and redefining success. We also get into another cracking poll about how you eat your meals - riveting content, we know! Plus Ellie shares something she’s been grappling with this week and what she wishes she’d known earlier.

In the second half, we’re joined by ADHD coach Marium to unpack what ADHD coaching actually looks like in practice. We talk about common goals ADHDers bring to coaching, why execution is often harder than knowing what to do, and how mindset and systems work together. Marium shares powerful strategies for task initiation, increasing interest levels, and getting unstuck without shame.

We also cover what to look for in a qualified ADHD coach, how often coaching is most effective, and why you don’t have to do this alone.

Contact Marium adhd-empowered.com

Book a session with Ellie ellieonthetelly.com

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This episode is split into two parts - the first part is banter between Paige and Ellie. We chat about recent hacks and learnings we've had, we discuss the differences we're noticing in our biometrics (recorded by our Oura rings) and we also clarify why you may not have been let into our Reddit yet...

Then we learn - WTF is ADHD coaching? And how is it different from therapy or life coaching? We’re joined by ADHD coach Marium (from ADHD Empowered), who shares how she moved from corporate life and international teaching into specialised ADHD coaching after seeing how misunderstood and unsupported neurodivergent people often are.

We unpack:

• Who ADHD coaching is for (from teens to late-diagnosed adults)
• How to know if you’re “ready” for coaching
• The key differences between ADHD coaching, therapy, and traditional life coaching
• How coaches help clients who know what to do but can’t execute
• Addressing shame, grief, and the belief that you’re “broken”

Marium explains why ADHD coaching focuses on the “what” and “how” rather than the “why,” how understanding your brain can be life-changing, and why strengthening executive function matters more than visualising success.

Next week, we'll play out the other half of our chat where Marium provides practical advice and some reassuring words for our fellow ADHDers.

Contact Marium if you're interested in ADHD coaching HERE.

Book a session with Ellie at ellieonthetelly.com

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Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicidal thoughts, emotional manipulation / boundaries and trauma. Please listen with care.

In part two of our conversation with Jen, we go deeper into the cost of living in survival mode for almost five decades - and what happens when the body and brain can no longer keep up.

Jen shares how perimenopause intersected with her AuDHD and long-term burnout, amplifying symptoms and stripping away coping mechanisms that had held her together for years. We unpack early warning signs of burnout and perimenopause that are often missed or misattributed, particularly in late-diagnosed neurodivergent women.

We talk about delayed processing and how it has impacted Jen’s relationships, safety, and sense of self — including how manipulation and abuse can go unnoticed until the nervous system finally has space to process what happened. Jen reflects on how pursuing a PhD exposed both her strengths and her limits, and the profound toll this took on her mental health.

This episode is an honest, vulnerable conversation about collapse, grief, and the necessity of radically changing your life when survival is no longer sustainable. It’s for anyone who feels like they’ve been “coping” for decades - and are only now realising the cost.

FOLLOW @autistic_connections (Jen)

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In part one of our conversation with Jen @autistic_connections, we get chatting about the reality of being a late diagnosed AuDHD women, who also hit burnout in conjunction with perimenopause (poor Jen!).

Jen shares her journey to diagnosis, how she was completely missed as a child, and then given incorrect diagnoses throughout her 20s, and the juxtaposition of being 'smart' but feeling 'dumb'. Jen talks about struggling with “basic” daily tasks, yet being capable of getting First Class Honours at University, before her nervous system hit breaking point, and how autistic burnout was the catalyst for diagnosis.

We talk about what it’s like to be a deeply empathetic person who sometimes struggles with connection, and we explore the difference between cognitive and affective empathy, and how misunderstanding empathy in autistic people causes harm.

Jen also opens up about the grounding, regulating role her two dogs play in her life - each meeting different emotional needs.

In next week's episode, Jen covers early signs of her neurodivergent tendencies, how autistic burnout and perimenopause interact with each other, why she had to leave her pHD and how she's coping with life now that she has more answers.

Follow Jen on Instagram @autistic_connections

Book a 1:1 session with Ellie at ellieonthetelly.com

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In this episode, we unpack decision fatigue and decision paralysis - why even simple choices can feel overwhelming for AuDHD brains. We explore how years of masking disconnect us from our instincts, leaving us frozen, second-guessing everything, and afraid to choose “wrong.” We share how paralysis has shown up in our own lives, and what’s actually helped. Paige also walks through her framework for rebuilding your life from the ground up when everything feels too hard to start.

Book a 1:1 session with Ellie! ellieonthetelly.com - introductory rate of $30USD valid until Jan 31 2026.

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We’re back for 2026! And we're starting off with an AuDHD debrief - funny holiday stories and what Ellie and Paige would do differently next holiday season. We also look ahead to what’s coming this year for WTF is AuDHD? - what we’re excited about, what we’re learning, and how we want to keep growing alongside this community.

Plus, we dive into a nuanced and thoughtful discussion about Autistic Barbie - including your listener contributions. We discuss what it gets right, what feels complicated, and why seeing neurodivergent experiences reflected can be powerful. This also leads to a wider discussion on why representation matters so deeply - for everyone.

Join us a for an easy, casual, welcome-back chat!

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Sarah (social worker, ADHD, OCD, PMDD and autistic) is back for more! In this episode we shift into language, identity, and the inner world of neurodivergence. Sarah reflects on her childhood as an undiagnosed AuDHDer, the anxiety that masked her ADHD, and elaborates on the different ways boys vs girls are treated.

We explore dialectical thinking - the simple but powerful practice of using “and” instead of “but” - and why it’s especially transformative for neurodivergent people whose needs often conflict. Sarah also shares how her lived experience shapes her work in perinatal social work, and why finding community and personal joy isn’t really optional for neurodivergent people - it’s survival.

Thanks for joining us this year! We really appreciate you. We'll be back Jan 20.

Follow Sarah @neurodialectical

Linktree - find our online communities and register your interest for 1:1 sessions with Ellie in 2026

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We're super excited to be joined by neurodivergent parent and social worker Sarah (@neurodialectical on Instagram), who shares how becoming a parent was the catalyst for her diagnoses - including autism, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and PMDD.

We talk candidly about the sensory reality of parenting when your needs directly clash with your child’s, the rage and grief no one prepares you for, and why planning life around hormonal cycles can be helpful (if you can). Sarah also shares how she’s unlearning traditional parenting norms, prioritising autonomy over compliance, and raising her son in ways that protect his nervous system - even when it looks "unconventional".

Sarah is super honest, raw and validating for any neurodivergent parent who’s ever felt overwhelmed, ashamed, or like they’re doing it “wrong.”

Follow Sarah @neurodialectical

LINKTREE - join our Reddit, Discord and express interest in 1:1 sessions with Ellie in 2026

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In this episode, Ellie's running on lack of sleep thanks to the Formula One race overnight, so we're chatting about sleep! We dig into why sleep is such a challenge for neurodivergent brains - from revenge bedtime procrastination to sensory overload to busy brains and chronic sleep debt. We share our own experiences and how lack of rest affects everything from emotion regulation to basic functioning.

Join our Discord and Reddit! Links in our Linktree

Interested in a 1:1 session with Ellie in 2026? Register your interest ellieonthetelly.com

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Content warning: in this episode we lightly touch on abuse, manipulation and sexual assault - between 37 - 40mins - proceed with care.

In this episode we dive into one of the biggest neurodivergent struggles: boundaries. Why do so many AuDHD people become chronic people-pleasers? Why do we say yes when every part of our body is screaming no? Why do we only realise afterwards how we're actually feeling? And why does setting even the smallest boundary feel like we’re letting someone down?

We chat about the link between neurodivergence and people pleasing, how RSD, masking and social survival instincts shape our boundaries (or lack thereof) and we candidly discuss how we're personally going with improving our boundaries.

Want a 1:1 mentoring chat with Ellie? Express your interest here: ellieonthetelly.com

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This week we’re joined by Bayley Garnham - diagnosed dyspraxic and neuro-affirming Personal Trainer! Bayley shares his diagnosis journey, what dyspraxia can actually look like day-to-day, how dyspraxia affected him growing up and what inspired him into personal training.

We chat about why exercise can vary depending on biological sex, why so many of us need movement but struggle to start, and how PTs can better support neurodivergent clients. Bayley also breaks down how he trains people with compassion, flexibility and zero shame.

If you’ve ever felt intimidated by exercise, disconnected from your body, or you're unsure where to begin, this episode might be for you!

Follow Bayley on Instagram (@bayleygarnham) or get in touch via email bayleygarnham@gmail.com

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In this episode, we unpack the perfectionism cage - the invisible set of rules we build for ourselves as AuDHDers in an attempt to survive, succeed, or simply avoid judgement. We talk about how perfectionism showed up in our childhoods, how it morphs into procrastination and paralysis, and why so many of us cling to impossible standards even when they burn us out.

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It’s not personal, we just literally forgot you existed. This week we dive into the concept of object permanence. We chat about why AuDHDers struggle to remember things, hobbies, goals and people once they’re out of sight, how it impacts friendships and daily life, and what we’ve learned about how to manage it.

Vote for us for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast awards (if you want) HERE

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