Did you know that only 31% of sales leaders are women, even though 50% of the sales reps are women? I'm Amy Evans, after 25 years of sales leadership in corporate America, I help sales leaders, founders and CEOs sell more and lead better. I also host the Women in Sales Leadership podcast, where you'll learn what it takes to lead at the highest level, withstand the pressure to deliver the numbers, and elevate your career without losing yourself. No fluff, just the real stuff of women in sales leadership. If you aspire to become a CRO, vice president, first time sales leader, or start your own business, you are in the right place. Follow so you won't miss the episodes every week.
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Takeaways
It's okay to feel and look stupid when trying something new.
Most people are more concerned with themselves than you.
Growth often requires stepping out of your comfort zone.
Listening to your heart can guide you in decision-making.
Investing in yourself is crucial for personal growth.
Coaching can provide valuable support and perspective.
True fulfillment comes from pursuing what you care about.
Planning can be a challenge, but it's essential for productivity.
Daily recharge practices can enhance focus and presence.
Fear can be managed by questioning its worst-case scenario.
Transcript:
Amy Evans (00:03)
Hey everybody, welcome to the show. I am so delighted to have you with me today. Thank you for tuning in. So here's what we're gonna talk about. Here's what you're gonna get out of today. this episode.
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I'm excellent, I'm excellent. I am so glad to be here with you and thank you for joining me today. I was really thrilled to get the chance to meet you when we met a week or so ago and you shared with me a little bit about you, what you've done in your life and what you're doing now. And I'm really thrilled about our conversation that we're gonna have today and I was hoping to kick us off, we would start.
at the very logical spot, which would be the beginning for you. Tell me if you don't mind, introduce yourself and tell me little bit about your story.
Wendy Leggett (00:45.97)
I'd love to. Yeah, and it's been such a pleasure to get to connect with you as well. Your energy and insights are just really inspiring to me. So I'm Wendy Leggett. I'm the owner of Conflux Retirement Coaching. And my story is that I've been in sales for most of my career. Even in high school, I'd gotten a job at a boutique. I love the fashion, of course. I love the discount. But then I really love the process and I love the connection with
customers. did really well and you know, we know that when we're in sales and we do well, oftentimes we get promoted. So I moved up the ladder when I was in high school into college, went to a large store, maybe people know Nordstrom, so I was there for quite a few years. But then I made the decision that I wanted to, at that time in my mind, move into something more professional. So whatever that means. And so that meant going to outside sales. And so then I
started off with a large telecom company and worked my way up that ladder too. So the last position I had before I then stepped out for a little while to have my children was as a director of sales. Had a lot of people reporting to me, had a lot of distributors and call centers reporting to me as well. And so it was a very dynamic, creative position. I made a very emotionally based, not well thought out decision. Amy, when we...
had our twins, I had planned to go back to work again, but then one of them became ill and he was fine afterwards. But at that moment, my heartstrings pulled me and said, you need to be home with your three children because we had an older son too. So I stepped away from that career, which was really such a gratifying, exciting one to me, but I felt that this was the right place for me. And then flash forward, I got back into sales, but as we know,
And maybe this isn't the case for everyone, but for me, it was kind of starting over again and then working my way up. And so I tried a number of different avenues. The last position that I was in, I was a director of a number of franchises, director of sales. I loved that work, loved the owners of the company. But what happened there is that we were doing so well, very dynamic, creative. We were really breaking barriers in the way of sales and service. They decided to sell the company, which
Wendy Leggett (03:10.13)
you know, was for tutors on their part because it was a great time for them to do that. But for me, it ended up them bringing in a new owner with very, different philosophy than the previous owner and very different values than I was aligned with. So fixer that I was, I kept trying to figure out a way to make it work. But ultimately we know that we're in sales. We're facing our customers every day. We're working with our team members every day. And if we're bringing something forward that's not authentic or
ring true to us, it's a very hard thing, a very difficult pill to swallow and it wasn't one that I could. So I was at a crossroads then, do I go back into looking for another sales position? But at that time I thought, you know, maybe this is an opportunity for me to dig a bit deeper and I think I was really searching. And what I found then was moving into the career that I'm in now. So shall I dig into that or because I know I'm...
Yeah, very good. I was researching all kinds of different options. I hit upon coaching, which was new in my universe, know, in the different jobs I've been in. We'd had consultants, we'd had maybe really niche coaches, but I didn't really think of them in terms of coach, certainly not life coaches. But I decided, wow, that really resonates with me. I'm feeling like I want to dig a bit deeper. You sometimes we learn the things that we need for ourselves.
as well as me wanting to bring that forward for others. So I went back to school, which was in and of itself kind of revolutionary because I hadn't been in school a long time, for a long time. And so went back to school, got my professional certified coaching credential through the International Coaching Federation and Coach Academy. And then through my travels, really started feeling like, you know, I really connect with that kind of client who's me.
in that baby boomer generation, the one that's really looking at, you know, what's meaningful to me now? What feels like it's right and authentic and something that I can really feel like I'm making a difference about. So I did find out that there was something called retirement life coaching. There's associations, there's credentials. So I went back and received several credentials. And that's the work that I focus on is helping people transition from career.
to retirement in a way that feels fulfilling, that allows them to really have a crystallized view of what this next chapter could look
Amy Evans (05:45.44)
Okay, well thank you for walking me through that. I'd love to learn just a little more about what the work of retirement coaching specifically. Can you share more detail about that?
Wendy Leggett (05:59.767)
Yeah, yeah, I'd love to. Thank you for asking. So my focus, and it's an important qualifier, is that I focus on the non -financial. it's, you know, very important, fundamentally important that people have their financial house in order. But we know that we bring our whole selves into retirement. And so if we only look at having our finances healthy, but not the rest of us are emotional or mental or physical or social.
or feelings of purposefulness. If we don't have those healthy as well, then we can walk into retirement not really prepared to make the most of the next chapter. So the work that I do is really first raising people's awareness about what does retirement even mean to you? Because oftentimes like 90 % of the people in America plan to retire, but why? What does that mean to them? I'm a retirement life coach, but it doesn't mean that I think everybody should retire.
have any plans to retire right now. But yet if someone is wanting to or they're thinking about it or they think, wow, that's the goal is to retire. Well, what is it that you're retiring to? And what is it that you're retiring with? So we start there. And then from there, we really look at, okay, so this is how we define retirement. What do we envision? What will a day in retirement look like for you? If you didn't have this time abundance that will be offered to you when you are post -career.
How will you spend that time? What will feel meaningful to you? What will get you up in the morning and make you feel like it's making a difference? Because we know when the honeymoon wears out, which is generally six months to two years in after retirement, people start to really question, wow, is this all there is? Or they get into these patterns that just kind of perpetuate what they were doing at work. So many people will fill up their dance card and stay really busy because they feel like they're
losing relevance. And so it's important that people then have that opportunity. And I do and they do that with me is to really start to crystallize, what does this look like for me? And then how does that align with my values? Because we know that when we're clear on our values, and we have actions that support those values, and then we move forward in a much more motivated way. So we go through that process, look at what feels purposeful to us. And purpose, you know,
Wendy Leggett (08:25.126)
in and of itself carries so much weight for people. You know, what is my purpose, finding purpose? But we know that purposeful is really a verb, it's an action, and we can have a number of things in our lives that feel purposeful. So we look at that, and then we go through and look at all the elements of well -being. So we do look at the physical, the social, the mental, the emotional, and the purposefulness or spiritual aspects of retirement wellness.
Amy Evans (09:01.591)
Thank you. Thank you for walking through that. I'd like to back up a little bit. Yeah, no, it's good. It's good. It's wonderful.
Wendy Leggett (09:10.564)
there was a lot there.
Amy Evans (09:18.932)
So I'd like to think, of take you back in time to when you were a sales leader. And when you first became a sales leader, Wendy, because you spoke fondly. I could hear it in your voice. You had some good experiences. I I think that's everybody's story. There's going to be great experiences. There's going to be other experiences, which we might think of as our learning experiences.
Wendy Leggett (09:31.56)
Yes.
Wendy Leggett (09:48.673)
That's how I turn them as well. Yes.
Amy Evans (09:50.937)
Right. I'd to think that, tell me a little bit about like when you first became a sales leader. What surprised you most and what did you enjoy most since that's who our audience is today? Walk me through a little bit of that, please.
Wendy Leggett (10:10.866)
Yeah, I think for me, it was like this beautiful melding of creativity and commerce. So it was this idea that we could be thinking really creatively about how to meet our clients' needs and how we could meet and exceed our numbers. And at the same time, really be having fun and being able to put ourselves forward. And so I think that's what I found as being a leader, because I was able to help chart the course then. wasn't...
you know, in this position where I was doing, I was really able to make more of an impact. So as that leader. And so that's what I didn't realize it would feel that way. But that's what I recall from it.
Amy Evans (10:53.536)
Yeah. And talk to me a little bit about what that was like to be a woman in leadership at that point in your career. Did you have very many other female leader, sales leader, know, models or folks to look to or learn from?
Wendy Leggett (11:11.61)
Yeah, yeah, I was reflecting on that thought. And, you know, for me, and this takes us back, because again, I'm in that baby boomer generation. So when I was in sales leadership, the women that were sales leaders around me, unfortunately, I think at that time, we were really having to act more as men, we were having to be bringing forward that male energy and not really be able to
springboard off of all of the things inherent in being a female. I think there's a beautiful balance that can happen there. But I think that what I observed a lot was that there wasn't women lifting one another up or supporting them necessarily. I saw a lot of more kind of aggressive behavior rather than assertive behavior. And so the models that I was able to really look to were outside of sales. And I think that
At that time, maybe it was just that interpretation that in order to make the numbers or in order to really excel, then we had to downplay some of their aspects of who we were. And that's what I kind of observed. And even up till not so long ago, I worked for a sales leader who she was younger, which I shouldn't even say that because that wasn't the point. She was younger in the position though. So she didn't have a lot of experience.
Amy Evans (12:34.243)
Yeah.
Wendy Leggett (12:37.254)
We know, at least from my experience, oftentimes when someone's an excellent salesperson, they get promoted. They are moved into a sales leadership role. And sometimes they don't have the tools or sometimes they don't have the experience or the preference of really taking in a different view. And so they take all of their sales expertise in Acumen and they move it forward into what they think of as a leadership role. But I think of that as more as a management role.
And there's a big difference there between being a manager and a leader. So I did see that kind of behavior as well where there just wasn't that kind of attention to those that were working for you and helping enable them and empower them and inspire them to then move forward in doing the business. So that was kind of my experiences. I found the role models really outside of this else.
Amy Evans (13:36.481)
Excuse me.
Amy Evans (13:45.24)
think you're alone in that. think that was absolutely a norm. I experienced that myself. With some of my most beloved leaders that I looked up to that were women, it was so normal at the time, or it felt like that was what was the expectation. You had to be a guy, a man, a woman who was kind of trying to be like a man at that point, because that was
somehow what was acceptable. Thankfully, things have evolved a bit for us since then. But it wasn't that long ago. Really wasn't.
Wendy Leggett (14:24.614)
Yeah, and probably depending on the industry or depending on who is in the hierarchy, you know, I think it's important to raise that up so that I think whenever things are normalized, when like for your audience to know that if this is what's happening with you, this isn't out of the ordinary, you know, hopefully it's a lot more out of the ordinary than it was, but to recognize it's not you. So then what's needed to be able to move you forward in an important
Amy Evans (14:51.81)
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I have to say, think I had moments in my leadership development where I too, I was only woman in the room. And so who were my role models? These wonderful, powerful, successful gentlemen, their style wasn't my style. And it took me a while to understand that I had permission to
add myself into my leadership style and subtract the parts of me that, the things I saw that weren't me. And that's when I finally gave myself permission to do that is when my own leadership started to grow and develop. So I love.
Wendy Leggett (15:42.27)
And if I may on that, sorry, but where did you find that strength of self? Because again, I think this could be a crossroads moment for some. And so maybe you have some insights around that to share.
Amy Evans (15:53.935)
gosh, well, thank you for the interview question for me. So where did I find the strength? was it was it.
Excuse me.
Amy Evans (16:11.052)
I think it was really more about you can only subdue your own self for so long until your true self really just kind of comes out. It's like, your personality is showing. You better tuck that back in. I think one of the beautiful things that's happened over the last decade or so is that permission for all people.
including women, to express themselves authentically. And I will tell you that there was one moment that sticks out in my mind where I was leaving a job that I had where I'd had a fantastic run. I'd had a fantastic run. I'd grown a lot as a leader and made lots of mistakes, but learned a lot along the way. And I was, was,
transitioning out of the organization and one of the gentlemen that I was working with said something to me that I just, it's funny, I'll never forget and it was, Amy, be yourself. Just be yourself. And you'll do great. And those little words just stuck with me. So, you know.
Wendy Leggett (17:16.734)
you
Wendy Leggett (17:28.798)
Yeah, that's, no, that's to hear someone say that to you because we know that we should feel that way. But oftentimes we fight it, you know, we think that we need to fit into a certain box or carry a certain label. And so we do hold ourselves in the shadows. And I think that's why the work that I do with retirement rings so true to me, because I think especially generation to generation, you know, there are
some of us who were raised with pushing those emotions down or pushing them away. And so we're not leaning into ourselves. We're just powering through and then no pain, no gain. And you just get it done and just keep moving on and moving forward. So for you to be able to sit in that place and say, just be myself, that's huge. I think that needs a real spotlight because I think so often we don't allow that. And yet that's where the real strength and that's where the...
Amy Evans (18:04.952)
Mmm.
Wendy Leggett (18:24.38)
the authenticity and the uniqueness can shine through. So thank you for sharing that.
Amy Evans (18:29.654)
Yeah. Thank you for the question. this is a natural transition to something you and I talked about when we first met. And it got me very excited, Wendy. And that was you talked about something that I'd never heard anybody share about before. And that was positive intelligence. Can you talk a little more about that, please?
Wendy Leggett (18:55.0)
sure, I'd love to. I think most of you listening probably have heard of emotional intelligence. And so we know then how we want to relate to people in different arenas and settings and things so that we're able to really collaborate and communicate and come to agreements. Positive intelligence takes that same concept and it both boils it down to very simple level. And at the same time, it becomes
oftentimes more actionable because when things are simple, we can oftentimes put them into play. So the concept of positive intelligence came from Shirzad Shamin. So Shirzad Shamin is an author. He developed this concept, wrote a book called Positive Intelligence, and then took it several steps further where he then put a program behind it. And what he shares in his positive intelligence is that we have these three factors that allow us to
Recognize when we have a negative emotion, he calls them our saboteurs. And the lead saboteur is a judge. We judge ourselves, we judge others, we judge circumstances. And along with that judge saboteur are their accomplice saboteurs. So we may feel that there's an avoider that's chirping in our ears and saying, I can't do that. Or a pleaser that I should act a certain way so that people will like me. Or a victim saboteur. I would do better in this job except that.
Etc, etc. So we have these saboteurs and we all have them. Some are louder than others. Some have been around a lot longer than others. But at any rate, we recognize them when they come up because we start to feel these negative or difficult emotions. So the key behind positive intelligence is first of all, catching those saboteurs saying, whoa, I know what you're doing and I'm not listening to you because that's not who I am. So I'm not a hyper achiever.
I have a hyperachiever characteristic sometimes that pushes me beyond what I should maybe be doing, or that is best for myself or others. So we catch the saboteur and then we go into what's called self command. And for some, might think of this as like a little mini meditation, but that idea is just quieting our brain for a moment. We caught the saboteur, we're stopping and we're reflecting. And there's ways to do that. We call them PQ reps and I can step you through that.
Wendy Leggett (21:20.822)
And then we move into what's called Sage. So we've had this time of reflection. We see that that negative emotion is working against us. And so then we move into the positive emotions, which are the Sage characteristics. It's when we activate our empathy powers, we activate our navigation powers, innovation powers, those types of things. And so then we move out of that negative space and move into this positive one.
It's a very, very powerful approach. I know that I'm kind of synthesizing it here, but the core behind it is that it's really a lifelong practice for us to catch these saboteurs, quiet them, because we know that if we keep, as Shirzad would say, our hand on the hot stove for more than a second, that we're going to get burned. And so, yes, we can recognize the negative emotion. Feelings are critically important, but they're a signal. Something's amiss.
But instead of ruminating in them or acting in a saboteur sort of way, then we want to move into a sage position. what questions does that kind of bring up for you or thoughts? Well, I'm thinking that I can hear in that description things that I can experience. I sometimes weekly. good for you because neither daily.
Amy Evans (22:30.968)
Well, first of all, I am thinking I can hear in that description things that I actively experience on a sometimes weekly basis myself. Yeah, yeah, depends on which day it is. So you shared a little bit, about a tool that you use. Is it something you'd be comfortable talking everybody through?
Wendy Leggett (22:47.872)
Maybe a moment to vote.
Wendy Leggett (22:57.49)
community.
Yeah, sure. So this concept of PQs, which are using this positivity quotient, are a lot of different modalities, but I'm going to walk you through one. So let's say that you were coughing a little bit ago, and so you start to get this feeling like, no, I'm not going to be able to carry on with this. And so what we could do for a PQ is we could just take our fingertips, so take two fingertips and rub them together, if you would.
Amy Evans (23:01.837)
Yeah.
Wendy Leggett (23:29.554)
with such attention to detail that you can feel the ridges in your fingertips and just give it all your attention. Can you feel those ridges?
Amy Evans (23:39.47)
I'm going to close my eyes so I can feel them better. Yeah. Well, I can feel it, yeah.
Wendy Leggett (23:42.268)
That's even better, yeah.
And so we're rubbing our fingertips and feeling the ridges with such attention to detail. That's all that we're really thinking about.
Wendy Leggett (23:58.718)
And then if you stop.
and open your eyes. Do you get in just that moment, like a little bit of sense of calm? I mean, of course we're, yeah, yeah. Cause I mean, here we're chatting, so I recognize, but that's the idea of it is that when it's a practice that we build. even when we're not feeling a negative emotion, we catch ourselves during the course of the day, we take a little break and we go through PQs and it can be.
Amy Evans (24:08.916)
so, wow.
Wendy Leggett (24:29.022)
with our fingertips, I love doing it with breathing. So I love breathing in and holding it and breathing out and just calming my nervous system. We can do it when we're walking and we feel our feet on the pavement. And we just give our total focus to feeling those feet on the pavement. And what this is doing is it's just clearing our mind because our minds, I don't even, is it like 60 ,000? It's like some crazy amount of.
ideas right that are going through our head at any given time but they're just thoughts. Our brains are pattern makers. They're trying to put all these pieces together but they can get overwhelming and they can close out the things that really deserve our focus that are our priorities that are the things that we're wanting to bring forward into the world and so the PQs allow us to just clear that clutter. I call it little brain breathers because it just allows that and I use this one especially when I'm in meetings
And if something, if a saboteur comes up like, hey, wait a minute, why are they saying that, for example, not that I'd ever do that, so I just under the table, I'm doing my little PQs and it's almost like Pavlov's theory, you know, where you're just like rubbing that brings to mind that calm, that laser focus. So that's what it allows for.
Amy Evans (25:48.495)
So simple and so easy in the moment to do. I love that that can be done without anybody noticing that you're getting really present back to yourself again and calming down and be in the moment again. That's beautiful.
Wendy Leggett (26:02.226)
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we can even do it just looking at one another. If we really look in one another's eyes. If I do that, unbeknownst to you, but I'm doing PQs looking at you, it can bring up that empathy power that I'm seeing in you, that beautiful spirit that you have that oftentimes, you know, gets veiled by the work that we're doing or the things that we're trying to accomplish. We stop seeing one another so we can do PQs.
cues in that way too. All kinds of, you know, all kinds of ways to make it happen. the key is, is that we're learning to move our minds in a way that's positive. And the science behind it is this neuroplasticity that we know that our survivor brain skews to the negative. It had to, stranger danger, making sure, you know, that we were always safe. But it doesn't work for us any longer. It's not necessary.
But yet that's how our brains work. Well, the science tells us we can now start to build those new neural pathways to the positive. And that's what this is all about. Over time, as we practice and we practice and we build it, more and more will we skew to the positive. So very powerful.
Amy Evans (27:15.274)
extremely powerful. That's that's remarkable. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. So we before we before we wrap up, I've got two two more questions. And then we'll also get to people who want to maybe find out a little bit more about getting in touch with you. So if you're eager to get that hang on a minute where we will get there. Let's go back to you know,
Wendy Leggett (27:19.75)
Yeah, yeah, thank you for the opportunity.
Amy Evans (27:42.888)
Thoughts or advice that you have for women leaders that might be listening to today's show or listeners? What's a piece of advice that you have for women in leadership or women who may be considering taking the leap and applying for a role in leadership and moving into a leadership role?
Wendy Leggett (28:07.974)
I appreciate that question. I'm really big on the power of transitions. I'm really big on understanding where are we at right now and having an ending to a chapter before we move into a new beginning. And I think that this applies, let's say you're in a sales position, you have this opportunity to advance in your career and move into a leadership position. Really recognizing, okay, I'm putting an end to this position, either a period or an exclamation mark or whatever.
But what do I want to bring with me into my next role? And what do I want to leave behind? What patterns or habits, you know, being really mindful that aren't going to serve me as I move forward. And what are the strengths and capabilities and passions that I have that I really want to bring to the forefront in this new position? So it's really giving ourselves that space and grace to have that ending, move into what's called the neutral zone, this time of reflection.
maybe journaling, meditating on it, whatever allows you walking in nature to gain that clarity, use the PQs, but gain that clarity before you move into the new beginning. And the reason I share this is I didn't realize the power of transitions. I moved into a lot of different positions. I was so excited about them. I focused just on the new position and I brought with me at times baggage or habits or patterns that really didn't serve me. They needed to be left behind.
So that's one of the things that I would really want to spotlight for everyone is really give yourself that time around transitions. There's prolific work by William Bridges. He wrote a book called Transitions and he does speak about you have to start with the end first. And so I would really, really recommend that. And the other thing that I want to bring up, and this is for those that are planning for retirement, but it really is for your audience as well, is really being the leader of you.
I call it the CEO of you. And so again, before we can lead others, I think it's critically important that we are leaning into ourselves and leading ourselves. You spoke about it earlier when you said, you know, just be you. Well, who, who are you? You know, so really, really leaning into that and really allowing ourselves to really gain that confidence and gain that knowledge and gain that springboard to then into that next position. So.
Wendy Leggett (30:32.574)
Those are two of the things I'd want to highlight.
Amy Evans (30:36.603)
Wow. I do like that. That's wonderful. Gosh, I'm sitting here listening to that answer and I was reflecting on the times that I'd had transitions in my own career and I did not give myself time to make that transition at all. Yeah.
Wendy Leggett (30:39.511)
And don't you think in a way it's inherent in the sales, you know, because sales we get it done. We're moving ahead. We're planning out the KPIs. We're figuring out how we're going to make them happen.
Wendy Leggett (31:07.248)
Et cetera. So it's understandable that we have that future focus as well. want to, but let's just allow ourselves to put that ending first so that we're really clear that we're not bringing some things with us. Because looking back, I noticed that there were things that I had, you know, that, and then we're not necessarily building off of confidence, especially if you're leaving a position that maybe there was some friction points for you or some tension. You could be building off of that as your foundation. That's not.
coming from that point of strength or empowerment.
Amy Evans (31:40.022)
Wow, that's so powerful. Absolutely. We'll do one last question then I want to give everybody a chance to hear how to get in touch with you and how to find you, And that is, the last question is, what's the one leadership lesson that you keep learning again and again?
Wendy Leggett (31:41.54)
because you're so lucky. Absolutely.
Wendy Leggett (31:48.018)
I'm to take a minute you to take your time about it again in touch with you. And now the question for Wendy and the audience. The last question is what's the one thing that you should listen to that you keep learning again and again?
Wendy Leggett (32:05.8)
The one leadership lesson that I keep learning again and again is really just, guess it really is what you said about allowing myself to be me. I mean, I think that sometimes I really think, I should be going in this direction or listening to this person or observing what that person's doing and emulate them, but not really then stepping back and saying, okay, but why? How does that relate to me? How does that align with my values and where I want to?
move forward and that's both personally and professionally. So I think it's just doing that check as we go along and making sure that we're on the path that we choose. I say to those going into retirement that I want you to create a retirement by design, not default. And that's, think, how I would want all of your listeners to think about whatever they're stepping into, create it by your design, not default. You have that choice.
And that's what I need to keep reminding myself of as well.
Amy Evans (33:09.208)
How will people find you, Wendy? How do we get them to you?
Wendy Leggett (33:14.204)
Yeah, so my email is, the name of my company as I mentioned is ConFlex Retirement Coaching and that's -O -N -F -L -U -X. So you can email me at wendy at ConFlexRetirementCoaching .com. My website is ConFlexRetirementCoaching .com. And if I may, I'd love to offer up a little mini workbook for retirement readiness. And even if some of your listeners aren't preparing for retirement right now,
it may be something that someone in their life could benefit from, or it may be something that I think just having it in the stew pot, you know, because 90 % of Americans at some point in time are going to retire, at least they're thinking about it. And so I think having a runway to retirement is just vitally important. So in the show notes, maybe we can put a little link and that little retirement readiness kind of allows you to go through a little workbook. And then if you'd like to contact me for a...
complimentary discovery call around what you found, obstacles or opportunities, I welcome that as well.
Amy Evans (34:17.012)
my gosh, Wendy, that's awesome. I'm sure everyone will appreciate that. Well, my goodness, our time has gone by so quickly and it has been very informative. And Mike, I feel really just super calm after talking with you. You have such an absolutely delightful demeanor. How fortunate your clients are to get to work with you. And I've just really enjoyed our conversation today. Thank you. Yeah.
Wendy Leggett (34:40.644)
thank you. As did I. Thank you so much. It was a pleasure and I wish you and I wish everyone listening the very best, much success and that calm, know, because let's move off of the strength of the calm because that gives us that clarity and conviction and confidence to move forward.
Amy Evans (35:02.07)
Fantastic. Well, I'll put a wrap on this one and we'll look forward to getting everybody the good information that you want to share.
is actually the 10th episode of the Women in Sales Leadership Podcast. And why is that significant? Well, it's a nice, beautiful number, 10. Also happens to be the day of my birthday, coincidence. What I wanted to give you today was a journey of what it's been like since I started to have this
idea of creating a podcast and how I did it, what happened, and most importantly, the lessons that I did not anticipate learning along the way. And I think you're going to find it interesting. Thank you for being here. Okay. So today, what have I learned since starting the Women in Sales Leadership podcast? These are things I hope you can take with you wherever you are in your journey today. So
Here we go. Number one, just start. If you have been waiting to do something or wanting to do something or dreaming of doing something, you know the only day that you have to do it, the only day that actually exists, it's this one, right now, today. Don't let that freak you out. Don't let that freak you out, but it should freak you out just a little bit.
Getting started is exactly that. It's a start. It's a mental commitment to get going on something that you want to do. And when I was starting this podcast and wanted to start it, I didn't even know quite exactly yet what the podcast was going to be about. It was not clear in my mind. In fact, it wasn't clear at all. So.
Getting started doesn't mean that everything's all perfectly baked out and you have this like perfect vision of what it's gonna be and how it's gonna look, whatever it is that you wanna do. All you gotta have is that desire and that pull, if you will, by the universe to do something that is in your heart. And once you just start the rest of it,
it figures itself out, I promise you. So, just start. So I got started, and in that, I got some help, and yet again, I knew I needed help, I didn't know how to start a podcast, I didn't know anything about it. man, I looked at YouTube, I looked at the internet, I looked at all this stuff, and I was just like, give me a break, I don't have forever.
to figure this out and plus if I give myself too long, I'll lose interest and I'll move on or I'll decide it's too hard and I'll move on. So what happened for me instead,
Amy Evans (03:22)
So what happened for me instead?
was I decided I needed to get help, okay?
I don't know how many of you feel like I feel about getting help, but it's just not how I was raised, okay? And not because I didn't have a happy childhood or amazing family because I had all those things. But I was not raised to ask for help. I was raised to figure stuff out and get stuff done, right?
just like you figure stuff out and get stuff done. And getting help or asking for help or admitting I need help, I'll just come straight up and tell you I suck at it. I'm awful. I'm really awful. And this is something I am working on for myself. In fact, I have a coach and we talked about this specifically and that's a whole nother conversation of the episode of focused on.
asking for help and running experiments of doing it and understanding the story that you're telling yourself for the reasons that you aren't asking for help. But forget all that. We're talking about the podcast. And I asked for help. So I knew a woman, Alison Hare. she introduced herself to me. She sought me out over a year and a half ago.
She spent a lot of time building relationship with me and she's a remarkable human being and so impressive. She runs her own consulting company, coaching company, and she also on the side, she has her own podcast called The Late Learner, which has evolved and grown as she has evolved and grown. And she happened to have a course, a coaching course on
launching your own podcast. And I thought, okay, can, Allison can help me. It was like the universe kind of just put Allison there for me a year before I even decided to do anything with it. So I reached out to Allison and I was kind of sputtering around in circles, figuring out exactly what I wanted to do in our conversation. Then I finally told her, said, hey, I really want to start a podcast. Can you help me? And she just dove right in.
and she had an excellent program and I made an investment. Another thing that has been something that's been a growing opportunity for me is to give myself permission to make investments in me, right? I'm a mother.
I was the breadwinner for my family. When I was married, I was the breadwinner. In fact, I was the sole provider. I was taking care of everybody. And I took care of myself. I wasn't a complete and total disaster, but I was a mild, mostly disaster disaster.
Amy Evans (06:40)
investing in myself was something that I always struggled with. Like, my gosh, Lord, even getting my nails done was somehow this inner conflict of like, should I be spending money like this on myself? mean, here I was, successful senior sales executive at one the largest software companies in the world, and I am like,
giving myself crap over should I get my nails done or not? Come on. Anyway, this gives you a sense of the mindset that I was carrying around with me. I made the investment. I hired Allison and she took me through this really powerful course and I was dedicated to doing it. I was like, this is what I'm doing. I don't know what it's gonna look like. I don't know anything other than I'm called to do this.
And through that evolution, this podcast was born. She helped me get refined on what I wanted to call it, which is the very self-explanatory Women in Sales Leadership podcast. She helped me get clear on the mission, which is to empower women and connect them with their stories and inspire women to support each other.
to inspire each other and ideally inspire other women to grow in their leadership or become a leader. There aren't enough women in sales leadership out there today. Some of you know the stats, some of you may not, but what's fantastic is that in the round, in the world of sales, 50 % of salespeople are women. That's fabulous, great. But where you get into sales leadership,
is a real disparity. Those numbers get to be more like 30 % of sales leaders are women. And there's an opportunity to improve that. I'm committed to that. so get, just start, get help. That's what we've covered so far. So, and then the other thing is I'm evolving the podcast and some of you can look back if you ever were, noticed some of these early things. Like you just gotta put it out there.
Nothing is perfect the first time you take a whack at it. Think about it. Every time you learned something in your life, you had to fall down, you had to skin your knees, you had to make mistakes, bump around in the dark, fill in whatever colloquialism here fits your personal preference, and it's gonna be messy. We as women are
Typically not messy. We don't enjoy being messy. We were not rewarded for being messy. We were not praised for being messy. We were praised for being perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect all the time. Must be perfect, must be better than the boys, must be pleasant, must be perfect. Well, you know what? When you're creating something new, it's never gonna be perfect. When you're learning something new, it's never gonna be perfect.
So I had to put stuff out there. So I will never forget putting out the first episode and it took me, my gosh, I think it took me like a day and a half just to put the episode out. I don't have a production team, folks. It's me, myself, and I currently. Maybe someday that'll change, but this is my passion project, so it's by me, from me, for you. And you gotta be just willing to put it out there.
when you're trying something new. Don't worry about looking perfect. Because here's the reality. Nobody's really looking at you. They really aren't. There might be a few people watching you, maybe. But you know what most people are just really concerned with? Themselves, naturally, right? That's normal human behavior, okay? So the other thing that I learned in this journey was, my god, I felt so stupid so many times.
and so, gosh, uncomfortable, uncomfortable.
Isn't that the phrase that everybody says, like, growth happens when you're uncomfortable. If you're not uncomfortable, you're not growing. these are wonderful things to say, but when's the last time you really got yourself uncomfortable?
and you got yourself uncomfortable because you said you were gonna do something, you said publicly you were gonna do it, and then, ooh, you're now on the hook to do it, and not only do it, but do something you've never done before in your life, right? You've never done something before in your life. Should it scare you? I don't know, maybe. What's the worst thing that could possibly happen? Eh.
I put out a podcast, nobody listens to it. I tried an experiment and it failed, right?
I tried an experiment and maybe it failed. That was the worst thing that could have happened. I would have spent some time building this thing. I would have spent some money hiring the amazing Alison Hare to help me out. And I would have wasted some time and some money. my goodness, how much time and money have I wasted my whole life doing things I didn't even care about? I'll just confess right now, it's been a lot. But this I cared about. And so...
I've really just figured out that the only person I'm doing this for is one person.
I'm doing it, if I can make a difference for one person, then that's good enough for me. And if happens to be more people, more women that benefit, wow, I'm totally winning, totally winning. Okay. So be willing to feel and look stupid when you're trying something new. And it's okay. All you're doing is running experiments.
Okay, so what else did I learn? I really learned a lot about listening to my heart. And I didn't really get the power of listening to my heart until, like it's always been there, right? Like your heart's always there, you know. There's certain decisions that you have in your life or you're approached with options.
You're approached with people and situations and you call it your gut, your heart, whatever you want to call it, listening to that. The heart is different than the gut though when you're looking at decisions and you're looking at following something. And I didn't get into that distinction until earlier this year when I was working with
an energy therapist. my goodness, I didn't anticipate I was going to be talking about this, but I will. So here we go. I was working with this phenomenal energy therapist in Atlanta, Georgia. Her name is Suzanne Wistrick. Suzanne Wistrick. my goodness. I'd never done anything like this before. Chakras, energy healing. I had no idea what this stuff was. I didn't understand it.
I wasn't sure if I believed in it, yet I was called. I felt some calling to find this out. was going through my divorce at the time. was going through, if anybody's gone through this kind of stuff, there's all these steps. Very stressful the whole thing is. And it's very difficult to remain grounded emotionally. Difficult to remain grounded mentally.
and physically even grounded in yourself and keep yourself in a place of calm and presence and patience, which is what I needed for myself and my own well-being and also for my children. Anyway, so I found Suzanne Wistrick and I worked with Suzanne, again, you're hearing a theme of investing in yourself. I worked with Suzanne and she is just,
You talk about people that she would recommend to everybody you know, she's on the list. And I don't get anything out of recommending her services anyway. But Suzanne taught me, taught me how to meditate and how to really meditate and put my awareness into my heart. And when you put your awareness into your heart, there's this saying that the heart never lies. And what that means is
that the heart never lies, right? Like you are, that is the single source of truth. There's no other influence other than the core of your being, your energetic, know, spiritual self centered right in your heart, wherever your spiritual beliefs may or may not be. She taught me how to do this meditation and so when I meditated and I listened to my heart, I felt called to create this as,
chance to be creative out in the world too and create something. I always thought I was going to be a rock star ladies and you know I guess I can claim to be a rock star. I feel like a rock star. I really do because I feel like I'm rock star in a lot of things they do. I'm a rock star friend. I'm an amazing daughter. I feel most days I'm rocking it at being a mom but some days I'm not great. You some days I need work too. Anyway she taught me how to follow my heart so
know, following my heart was a big part of the learnings that I had in going through this journey of a podcast. And if you're at a place where you're not sure what to do or you're trying to make a big decision for yourself and evaluate it for you, is this right for me or do I want to do this or what do I need to take action on? Whatever that question might be.
You can Google all kinds of meditations that help you get access to your heart. And those will help you just get some clarity. Get some clarity. I think we all need clarity every day. I certainly do. So I've hired, in my story I've hired two coaches already along the way. One that helped me on like a personal project that I had called.
get divorced as peacefully as possible, which was a personal project, and another project called Launch a Podcast. if you're hesitating, hmm, if you're hesitating, it's okay, because it's normal to hesitate. We all hesitate, it's fine. But if you want to do something, or take on something for you,
You don't have to do it alone. You don't.
There is somebody out there who has done what you want to do. There's somebody out there who can help you navigate your unique situation or your unique dream or your unique challenge and help you work through it. We are communal beings. We are social beings. We exist to help each other.
That's the whole purpose of human beings is to help one another survive and get through. So coaching can really matter. One thing I thought would happen when I started this podcast and I didn't understand how truly amazing it would be and like life changing it would be and really fill up my bucket, like fill me up, like fulfilled. When is the last time you were fulfilled? It had been a while for me.
I'll be honest, by my work, by something I was working on, true fulfillment, joy, like wow, so fun. I'm having fun, legit fun. And that was the chance to just get to meet these ladies and hear their stories. Some of them I've become friends with and we're in communication frequently talking. Others...
You know what? I don't need to be friends with them every single day. You know what? I'm going to hold a space in my heart for them for forever because I know their story and where they came from and they had the audacity to get in a public forum and share about themselves, right? To be bold and set aside fear and be willing to offer something for you all.
That's really powerful, those connections.
Let's see, the last thing I'll hit on, I've got two more actually, I might as well tell you all of them. That's what I'm here for, right? So the one that I'm working on right now that's getting better and better for me, and I've hired another coach. I've hired a high performance coach now. Because I had had my energy coach at the beginning of the year, I had my podcast coach in the kind of middle of the year, and.
What I've learned about myself is that I do my best work when I have a coach.
I never used to have a coach as a sales leader, ever. I was the one doing the coaching, and in fact, I coach people today, and I absolutely love it. It's remarkable. I get so much joy in working with the folks that come to me and work with me for coaching. But I have my own coach, because if I'm going to be a vitamin for somebody else, I've to take my own vitamins and fill myself up.
So my coach has me working on this thing that has just been a stumbling block for me like my whole life. And people who may know me would listen to this and they would laugh. But in my heart, right, where the truth is all the time, I know it's true. So the thing is this, I do not like planning my work.
I don't like planning my schedule.
What is that about? Because if you want me to plan a vacation, my gosh, folks, I could share some itineraries of some absolute killer trips that I've planned for my family and for my friends. And I mean, it's everything from the curated great place to stay in budget, right? The great place to stay, the restaurant.
and the place to go after the restaurant that's within walking distance for drinks or dancing or whatever and you know when it was with my kids and we went out to Sedona right before I moved like normal people do go on vacation right before they move you know I have this amazing ability to plan and I love it I get a lot of joy out of planning a vacation but when it comes time to sit down
and plan my calendar. Like, take everything I want to get done.
map it out into the week, there is just something in my body that just kind of, or it's not my body, it's really all in my head. It revolts against this. I don't want to be controlled, I don't want to have to do that. What the hell, I don't know. But here's the thing I'll tell you, just like exercising, just like eating right, just like not drinking alcohol, when you do those things, my gosh, the results are amazing.
So this is what I'm working on. The experiment that I'm running now is making a commitment. and here I am out here putting it out here for y'all. So great, I have got to do this now. Thank you, self. Anyway, making a commitment to plan my week. I'm experimenting with what works. It's either Sunday night.
or first thing on Monday morning and I like carve out an hour on Monday morning to plan it out.
The difference of planning your week and taking your time to look at all that to do, I have these task lists that I put in, I use Google Tasks. So I put all my tasks in there, like all the random to do, so try to get them off my brain, because otherwise my brain is, you know, have this tallying list of a whole bunch of stuff to do. And I schedule it. Everybody calls it time blocking, that's fine, great. Well, when are you gonna time block? Well, you gotta plan. You gotta plan your schedule, time block.
So this is a tool that I'm taking on a practice, a habit that I'm taking on doing that's come out of my high performance coaching that I'm getting from Growth Day, which is Brendan Bruchard's organization. I'll offer this one quickly. If you don't know Growth Day or
haven't heard about it. It's like having a coach in your pocket on your phone whenever you need it, like on demand coaching, and then more importantly, a 10 to 15 minute motivational pep talk every single day, every single day in this app called Growth Day.
I began using this tool, let's see, about three months ago. And I can't think of a day when I don't use this thing. Everything from I log in, I listen to the daily fire, which is Brendan Bouchard. If you don't know Brendan, go look him up. He's one of the foremost personal development gurus, thought leaders, experts out there. I get a daily fire from Brendan.
And then I do my journaling for the day in this app. And my goodness, it's been remarkable. It's been remarkable. Some of the best investment I've made in myself in doing this thing. If you're curious, I do have an affiliate link. I'll put it down in the show notes, but you don't have to have that. You can just go to growthday.com, check it out. I think they give you like a week free and see if you like it.
It's been hugely powerful for me, especially When you are just running so hard you're trying to figure out how the hell would I fit another thing into my life? But I need something to help me and I want something to help me just Have a different perspective Leaders need coaching to leaders need coaching to
So the last three things I'll give you, one is something that you might just look at me and laugh and that's okay, but it's been a game changer in my productivity. And that is being willing to schedule a, not lunch, this is not lunch, this is a 30 minute meditation slash nap.
in my day every day. And I do this every day somewhere. It's usually about two o'clock, but if I've got to run the carpool that week, or if I don't have to run the carpool, it's three o'clock. So between two and three, I have it on my calendar, and I am laying down on my couch, and I'm setting a timer on my phone.
And I close my eyes and I lay down. And sometimes I meditate. Sometimes I just lay there and just relax and kind of fall into a little bit of a light nap. Never get fully asleep, but just a little bit asleep. And what I have noticed is when I wake up from that little sweet little nap, I am ready to rock and roll for another three hours. I don't get run down.
I'm not cranky, I'm not anxious, I'm fresh, I'm focused, and I can be present, which is what our people need from us, to be fresh, focused, and present at all times. So if you consider, by the time you hit about two or three o'clock in the afternoon, your brain has been working for many hours already with no recharge. It's like plugging your phone back in again.
We need to be plugged back in again and the way that our brains recharge, we all know, is sleep. So anyway, I offer that to you. Give yourself permission, try it out. Run an experiment. Try it for a day. Do it once. Do it once. See how goes. You gotta set the timer though. You don't wanna fall all the way asleep. You wanna just get that nice little recharge, get back up, and get ready to rock. In fact, I took a nap just a few minutes before I got on this recording. So the last two things I'm gonna ask you to...
to take away from today. And this is what I kept telling myself the whole time that I was building this podcast. And going through the transformation that I've had going on for really the past two years. And that is.
There are no rules. The rules that you've been living by were made up by somebody else. Most of them.
So if there are no rules, and you can get access to your heart, and you can get help to get done what you want to get done.
What could you possibly do? I think it's pretty much anything. Pretty much anything. And then the last one I'll leave you with, and this is one that I have to ask myself a lot, especially when I'm bumping up against a wall of fear, which just happens. mean, it's gonna be there. You can't escape it. It's just gonna be there. And what I've learned is how do you get better?
How do you acknowledge it? What I've noticed about me is when I am afraid, I become a very nasty, ugly, mean, grumpy person. I'm short, I have a short temper, I think nasty thoughts, and my gosh, mean about other people, it's like the worst version of me. It's so ugly and terrible. And anytime I catch myself, because that's what I have to do, have to.
and like seeing myself like what why do you feel so crummy why are you acting like such a jerk
Typically I'm afraid of something. I have some sort of fear that's percolating in my brain and it's just getting me all worked up. And so this is the question that I ask myself to help me snap out of it if I can. It usually works. that is, first off I like to journal about it, but this is the question.
You know, if you don't have time to journal, you don't have time for that. You've got so much going on. What's the worst thing that could possibly happen? That's the question. What's the worst thing that could possibly happen? And when you break that down for yourself of the worst thing that could possibly happen, almost always, whatever thing that is scaring you kind of gets cut down to size.
of perspective and becomes most times something that you can actually face and deal with and do so in a way that isn't driven by this
angst and anger and lizard brain reaction.
So there you have it. Those are the things that I've learned since launching this podcast. There are so many more things to come. We have wonderful guests. For those of you who have been with us since the very beginning, I am humbled by you. If this is your first time listening to the Women in Sales Leadership podcast, I am so glad you spent some time with us today and with me. If you want to share this podcast with a friend,
Please do that. Take a second on the app that you're using to listen and forward it to somebody you know. They might get something out of it, right? If you even just send that person the message, whether they listen to this show or not, they're gonna feel love and connection from you. And I think we all need more love and connection, especially right now, more than ever.
