Why Marriage? – Details, episodes & analysis

In this special episode, FamilyLife Global directors, Neil and Sharoll Josephson share about how marriage can contribute to our holistic development as human beings. They share about the highs and lows of their own 47-year-long marriage and what has sustained them over its course.

Key quotation and references:

Website:

Familylifecanada.com

Books:

Henri Nouwen – Wounded Healers

Research:

Andrew Greely report

Quotations:

‘Marriage is our last best chance to grow up’

‘We rarely criticise somebody to better behaviour, we inspire somebody to better behaviour by believing in them’.

‘There’s something really freeing about being entirely safe’.

‘No marriage counsellor can change your heart’.

‘The resources of your spiritual heritage can touch you in places that will bless your marriage’.

‘I experienced what Blaise Pascal called a God-shaped vacuum’

‘I think there’s something wrong about the ‘you complete me idea’...I don’t believe that’s possible… there’s a misplaced spiritual hunger’.

‘We all come in to a marriage with a relational dowry’

‘If you have pretend honesty in your marriage, you will get pretend intimacy’

Harry Benson, research director of Marriage Foundation, examines the topic from the perspective of lower income groups. He addresses how the destigmatisation of pre-marital sex in the 1960s and 70s was disadvantageous for the poor, who no longer benefitted from the protection of marriage. He discusses how marriage went from being a 'cornerstone' - a foundation for life, to being a 'capstone' - a symbol of individual success and completion. He shares the findings of the Millennium Cohort - a study which revealed how the poorest couples who married were more likely to stay together than the richest couples who never married. Finally, he emphasises how 'people are hard-wired to want reliable love' and that marriage offers the best chance of receiving this.

Key references and quotations:

‘The cornerstone has become the capstone’

‘We are hardwired to want reliable love; the act of marriage itself sends a strong signal that you are serious about giving and receiving reliable love’.

‘It is easy to slide rather than decide’.

‘There is a huge buffer against poverty within the act of marriage’

‘The patriarchy is found in cohabiting relationships. The power rests with the person who is less committed’.

1970s - 9% teenage people not living with both natural parents - now 45%. Explained by marital decline.

Tony Rucinski, director of the Coalition for Marriage addresses the important issue of why it matters for parents to be closely involved in raising their children during the early years and how marriage gives families a better chance of being able to do that. He touches on how men and women are different and how the set-up of man-woman marriage is uniquely adapted to help children prepare for life in the world. Tony addresses the unique role of the family and its impact on everything from house prices and immigration to crime and overall happiness. He ends on a hopeful note, revealing how Gen-Z are turning back to marriage and its celebration of traditional values such as sacrifice, commitment and honour.

Key references and quotations:

Coaltion for Marriage Website

Books:

Erica Komisar - 'Being There'

Mary Harrington - ‘Feminism Against Progress’

Kimberly Ells - ‘The Invincible Family’

With a wide-spread cultural narrative portraying marriage as a drain on resources and an unwise investment for men, Carter Skeel, Executive Director of the Institute for Family Studies explains why married men are better off financially, physically, socially and emotionally (married men have 40% higher household income than their unmarried peers) as well as experiencing greater sexual satisfaction.

Here are some of the references quoted in the episode:

Website:

Institute for Family Studies

Books:

Robert Putnam - 'Bowling Alone'

Jonathan Haidt - 'The Anxious Generation'

John Mancini - 'How to Make Marriage Great Again'

Articles:

Marry early and flourish together article

Why Marriage is good for men article

A Mainstream Consensus on the State of Men article

Quotes:

“Masculinity is not a problem to be solved, but a way of being that needs to be

channeled in directions that are both good for men themselves and for society. We

do need a more expansive vision of what it means to be a man, but replacing the

“Man Box” with a different yet highly restrictive and less natural idea of masculinity

is not the answer.” – Aaron Renn

Reports:

Marrying Later Report

I caught up with feminist theologian and activist Elaine Storkey and asked her about whether the Sexual Revolution served women's interests, balancing work and motherhood and the effects of cohabitation including concurrent coupling.

Next I spoke with Michaela Hyde from Marriage Foundation and Katelyn Daniel and Henri Duncan from Agapé UK. We chatted about the commitment mindset behind marriage and the security and vulnerability that can flow from marriage.

If you've enjoyed listening to the podcast and would like to know more about how marriage can both reflect and benefit from a spiritual dimension, we have suggested some follow-on resources:

1) Tim and Kathy Keller’s podcast series: ‘Cultivating a Healthy Marriage’. It’s an excellent place to hear thoughtful teaching on the Bible’s view of marriage as a covenant which reflects God’s own with humanity.

2) The couple have also written a book called ‘The Meaning of Marriage’ which goes deeper into topics such as the secret of marriage, the essence of marriage and the power of marriage.

3) There is is a short film series called ‘Know God’ made by the Jesus Film Project if you’re interested in finding out more about the Bible’s story of love and rescue.

4) There is also a YouVersion Bible plan available called Covenant Explained about the theme of marriage in the Bible…

5) Finally, if this series has sparked any questions or would like to get in touch with a member of a team to continue your exploration journey, send an email to: questions@familylifeuk.org.

You can find out more about FamilyLife, which is part of Agapé UK, the organisation behind this podcast by visiting our website.

With marriage rates reaching historic lows and cohabitation on the rise in the UK, what are the implications for our culture of letting go of this ancient institution? We will explore the impact of marriage on women, men, society, the poor and the soul, by hearing from Elaine Storkey, the director of the Institute for Family Studies, Marriage Foundation, Coalition for Marriage and FamilyLife Global.

***Launching full series in Marriage Week 2026 (7th-14th February)***