Buckle up, babes—because this week, Crybaby and Richard are taking on the cinematic disaster that is I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer.
It’s got shaky camera work, shallow mall-rejects instead of characters, and enough early 2000s cringe to give your Motorola Razr a panic attack. From bad editing to worse acting, this film is a prime example of everything wrong with post-Scream horror—overstyled, underwritten, and relying solely on a cast of bland blonde babes.
But even in the chaos, we find the gay. Crybaby draws some surprisingly poignant parallels between the film’s themes of secrecy, shame, and generational fear and the lingering cultural trauma of the AIDS crisis—because if we’re going to suffer, we’re gonna make it mean something. Meanwhile, Richard spirals into full existential dread trying to remember a single character's name.
It’s a wild ride through underwhelming kills, stupid fish hook lore, and the ghost of better scripts that never came to be. Come for the abysmal teen terror, stay for the queer analysis and unhinged commentary. This one’s a mess—but at least it’s our mess.
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Intro music by ERK2 (thanks a bunch, dude!) catch his Soundcloud Special thanks to Chel B Lockie, Michael Lamarra, Julia Maldonado, Jeff Gorcyca, Raymond Corrado Knutsen, Paige Vice, and Donnie Cianciotto! With out y'all, I would lose my damn mind.
