Today we’re sharing an episode from another parenting podcast we think our listeners will really appreciate. It’s called “In It: Raising Kids who Learn Differently.” This podcast offers perspective, stories, and useful takeaways for parents of kids with challenges in reading, math, focus, and other learning differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. This is an episode called "After the Diagnosis: How Kids Feel About Their Learning and Thinking Differences." To listen to more episodes, search for “In It: Raising Kids who Learn Differently” in your podcast app. Listen to "In It" here: https://lnk.to/initunderstoodFD!whatfreshhell What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, learning differences, ADHD, dyslexia, IEP, learning challenges Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can we talk about America’s ongoing legacy of racism without sliding into despair? In his new memoir HOW FAR TO THE PROMISED LAND, Esau McCaulley tells his own story—and questions why Black failure is judged collectively, while Black success is perceived as the merit of an individual. Rev. Esau McCaulley, PhD, is an author and associate professor of New Testament at Wheaton College. His work has been published in The New York Times, The Atlantic, the Washington Post, and Christianity Today. Esau and Amy discuss: Why "escaping poverty" is a misleading term How experiences that set the context for heroic bravery also create the possibility for failure What caused Esau to change his definition of justice Here's where you can find Esau: www.esaumccaulley.com @OfficialEsauMcCaulley on Facebook @esaumccaulley on Twitter on Instagram Buy HOW FAR TO THE PROMISED LAND: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241080 What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You hear that parenting teens is a wild ride. But as Amy Betters-Midtvedt, author of the new book YOU'LL MAKE IT (AND THEY WILL TOO), says, it can also be baffling: “So much weirdness comes when they go back-and-forth between staying their old selves and becoming their new ones. Conflict will suddenly flow out of nowhere over nothing.” But you'll make it. And they will too. Amy Betters-Midtvedt is a Today Parenting contributing author with more than a million readers and twenty-five years of experience working with adolescents and families. In this episode, she and Amy Wilson discuss Why teens are constantly flipping from cuddly to crabby Why we owe it to our kids to be the best versions of ourselves When texting—or GIFs—is the best way to communicate Here's where you can find Amy Betters-Midtvedt: amybettersmidtvedt.com FB: @Amy Betters-Midtvedt TikTok: @hidingwithcoffee  IG: @Amy.Betters-Midtvedt X:@amymidtvedt Buy YOU'LL MAKE IT (AND THEY WILL TOO): https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593601129 What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parenting teens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mothers have long been held at fault for anything that might occur in their children's lives, from autism ("refrigerator mothers") to colic, and everything in between. Why is there such a long history of blaming everything on Mom? In this episode, we discuss how mom blame has manifested in both psychology and parenting advice over the years, and how we can start to push back on it in our own lives. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Joseph E. Davis, PhD for Psychology Today: "For a Moratorium on Parent Blaming" Mitzi M. Waltz, PhD for the AMA Journal of Ethics: "Mothers and Autism: The Evolution of a Discourse of Blame" Rosjke Hasseldine for Medium: "How Mother Blaming Harms the Mother-Daughter Bond" Bonnie Zucker for Scary Mommy: "From a Psychologist: No, It's Not All Mom's Fault" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's developmentally appropriate for a toddler to shout "That's mine!" every five seconds instead of sharing. That's because toddlers and preschoolers are still learning what sharing even means. So what should a parent do when they have two little ones who are fighting over every toy? Our listener Katie sent us a message on Instagram asking: "I have two boys, the older almost two and a half, the younger a one-year-old (they're 18 months apart). My 2 1/2 year-old just says nonstop, "Nooo, this is mine!" and takes everything away from his little brother all day long. I'm constantly having to keep the younger one away from the older one, otherwise he will try to kick or hit him. It's frustrating and exhausting, and I know it's a normal stage, but I also feel like there must be something I can do to help." First, a parent should focus on the kicking or hitting, which is the immediate danger. Give that behavior a firm no, and then separate the children as necessary. Don't feel like you have to enforce playing together among kids who are just too young to share. Sharing is a behavior children can only really learn when they're three or four, as they develop what psychologists call "theory of mind." Sarah MacLaughlin, a social worker and parent educator, recommends that parents "sportscast" what's happening when a child shouts "That's mine!" to give more complete voice to what they're feeling, since they don't have the language to do so yet. For example: "Oh no! Your brother wants to play with the dump truck, but you also want to play with the dump truck. And now you feel so mad!" Here are some other resources for advice and tips on getting through the "that's mine!" and the no-sharing stages. Rest assured, your children will eventually learn what sharing is, even if they're terrible at it right now. -Sarah S. MacLaughlin for Zero to Three: "Helping Young Children with Sharing" -Nurtured First: "3 Tips for the Toddler 'MINE' Stage" -Harvey Karp, Happiest Toddler on the Block Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Self-help culture rewards women and mothers who "stay strong." But that can lead to us people-pleasing even as we struggle, making sure no one sees that we're actually drowning. Andrea Owen, host of the Make Some Noise podcast, explains how some conventional self-help advice needs to be kicked to the curb. Andrea Owen is also a professionally-certified life coach and the author of three books, including How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t: 14 Habits that are Holding You Back from Happiness.  In this episode Andrea, Amy, and Margaret discuss: Being a "compassionate witness" Quieting our inner critic Why it's okay to fall apart sometimes Here's where you can find Andrea: -https://andreaowen.com/ -@heyandreaowen on IG, FB, and TikTok We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kids have a less time for unsupervised, unstructured play than they did 40-50 years ago. Kids are also a lot less happy then they were back then. But has one actually caused the other? A new study says it has. Psychologist Dr. Peter Gray and his associates at Boston College recently published the paper Decline in independent activity as a cause of decline in children's mental well-being, which suggests that the decline in play and the decline in children's well-being are directly correlated: “Our thesis is that a primary cause of the rise in mental disorders (among children and teens) is a decline over decades in opportunities for children and teens to play, roam and engage in other activities, independent of direct oversight and control by adults.” In this episode we discuss the fascinating research explored in this study, the difference in our freewheeling neighborhood childhoods and our own kids' more curated daily existences, and how letting our children take independent risks—and even get a few bumps and bruises— is setting them up for a sense of well-being that is all their own. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast is new to Adalyst Media! 200 episodes of inspiration on how to reclaim the finite moments of childhood through prioritizing outdoor play. our recent Fresh Take with Dr. Camilo Ortiz Peter Gray, et. al: "Decline in Independent Activity as a Cause of Decline in Children’s Mental Wellbeing," Journal of Pediatrics Mia Venkat, Kathryn Fox, Juana Summers for NPR: "How lack of independent play is impacting children's mental health" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we start to get our babies sleeping through the night, and how do we know whether they're old enough to do so? Margaret shares what worked for her when she had little ones. For at least the first eight weeks of a baby's life, ignore the people telling you that your baby needs to be on a schedule. Their schedule is feeding upon demand, and that's going to involve some nighttime wakings. Once the baby is at least eight weeks old, and with your pediatrician's go-ahead, you can start to shape the baby's day versus their night. Day should be bright, exciting, and lively. Night should be dark, calm, and quiet. When the baby wakes up during the night, they should be put back to sleep with minimal activity and sound—feedings and changing of diapers should be quiet and quick. It can help to send in the non-breastfeeding partner for the first waking of the night to get the baby back to sleep without feeding, and to start building longer stretches of time where the baby will sleep. Always consult your pediatrician for the best advice about how/when your baby should sleep! Margaret recommends Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp as a good resource. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can we make kids more anxious by being too protective? If kids are statistically safer than ever, why does it feel so hard to keep our kids safe? Psychologist Dr. Camilo Ortiz explains how such overparenting can be counterproductive for kids, and how to take a step back. Dr. Ortiz is the developer of "Independence Therapy," a new treatment for child anxiety. Margaret and Dr. Ortiz discuss: -why kids today have less freedom -how less freedom contributes to anxiety in kids -how the definition of "good parenting" has changed over the years Here's where you can find Dr. Ortiz: -X: @DrCamiloOrtiz -https://drcamiloortiz.squarespace.com/ -Dr. Camilo Ortiz and Lenore Skenazy for the NYT: "This Simple Fix Could Help Anxious Kids" -Listen to our Fresh Take with Lenore Skenazy We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can positive psychology help us create more of what we want for ourselves in this new year? Life coach Ann Imig takes Margaret and Amy through some of her coursework and tells us how to connect our already-existing personality strengths to more joy and well-being. Ann Imig is an award-winning writer, speaker, and performer, currently working as a certified positive psychology life coach. In 2010 she created the nationwide storytelling series and book titled Listen to Your Mother. Ann, Amy, and Margaret discuss: -taking stock of the previous year and using that knowledge to create what's next -how the character strengths quiz can help you create more well-being -how to get more of what we want in 2024 Here's where you can find Ann Imig: -ListenLifeCoaching.com -Get a free 30-minute consultation with Ann! -Preview the "Year BEGIN" Workshop -Listen to Ann's podcast "It's Pronounced Memwah" with Wendy Aarons and Mariana Olenko -Take the character strengths quiz: https://viacharacter.org/ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ new year, resolutions, positive psychology Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do your kids fight as much as they breathe? It's as normal as it is infuriating. This week Amy answers a question from our Instagram page: Man, am I struggling. My kids are four and two and all they do is fight. It’s constant. (The four year old is a girl and the two year old is a boy.) They hit, scream, fight, all morning and night. I try not to react too much, but... you get the idea. This kind of fighting is definitely in the #itgetsbetter category, but it's an extremely intense season while you're in it. The first thing to let go of is that siblings should get along, love each other, live in perfect harmony. For the next six months or a year, keep them separate! One in the yard, one in the playroom. One coloring in the kitchen, one playing trucks on the windowsill. Lower any expectations you have around what they should be doing together, and the fighting will go down. Blank-facing is the other arrow in your quiver. Fighting is not interesting to you. If someone is actually hurt, tend to the injured party and give as little attention as possible– even negative attention– to the instigator. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler,baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you're parent of a child with ADHD, you are familiar with the battles of will that can result. What are the best ways to help kids with ADHD succeed without either coddling them or coming down too hard on them? Are you the parent of a child with ADHD who feels like nothing you try is working? Ryan Wexelblatt, also known as the "ADHD Dude," is here to help. Ryan, a licensed clinical social worker and father to a son with ADHD, creates content for the ADHDude YouTube channel and ADDitude Magazine. Ryan also provides parent training, in-person school-year programs, and a summer camp for boys.  Ryan, Amy, and Margaret discuss: -How to talk to kids with siblings who have ADHD -Why behavior prompts actually don't help long-term -How to use scaffolding to build important skills for kids Firm boundaries and consistency, rather than permissive parenting or special treatment, are going to help kids with ADHD more in the long-run, Ryan explains. Helping kids visualize the consequences of their actions– whether those kids have ADHD or not– is a good first step. Here's where you can find Ryan: -@adhddude on YouTube -@theadhddude on Instagram -@adhddude.ryanwexelblatt on Facebook -www.adhddude.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sometimes all the "treasure every moment, Mama" content can make us feel like it's all downhill from here, that as our kids get older, each year of parenting becomes a little less special. This suspicion is confirmed when we're with our little ones at the grocery store and an older woman takes us in, nods knowingly, then says with a raised eyebrow, "Just you wait." But wait for what? Does only peril and sass-mouth lie ahead? In this episode we discuss how parenting changes, and why that change is not to be feared or resisted. Some things honestly change for the better. Some things for sure you miss. But all change is absolutely, totally okay. For more on this topic, and in particular the answers to "yes but when does it change for the EASIER?", check out our episode Your Life Begins Again When... (The Second Half of Parenting) We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler,baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's easy to compare our parenting—often as measured by our kids' achievements—with their peers' achievements. As in, how other parents might be doing it better. This week, we're talking parenting tips for resisting “mompetition”— and how we can use comparison to create healthy perspectives instead of "compare and despair." Amy and Margaret discuss: Why competition is a biological imperative The effects of social media and other societal forces on parenting How to know if we're putting too much pressure on our kids Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Matthew Hutson for The Atlantic: "Why We Compete" Aruna Raghuram for ParentCircle: "Are you a competitive mom? Here are the many ways in which mompetition can harm your child" Urban Dictionary definition of "mompetition" Eileen Kennedy-Moore for Psychology Today: "How to Resist Competitive Parenting" What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mompetition, parenting competition Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Right now there's a mental health crisis among teenagers. But teens are also highly emotional creatures by design. Adolescent psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour thinks the two are starting to get conflated– and that means parents and educators can sometimes overcorrect in their responses to teens' emotional outbursts. Dr. Lisa Damour co-hosts the Ask Lisa podcast and writes about adolescents for the The New York Times, in addition to her clinical practice. She is the author of two New York Times bestsellers: Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood and Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls. Dr. Lisa's latest book is called The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents. In this interview Amy and Lisa discuss: -Why good sleep is the first thing we need to help dysregulated teens solve -What the pandemic actually revealed about teens' mental health -Key myths and misconceptions about adolescent emotions Dr. Lisa says that we– and our teenagers– can gain much by asking if the strong emotion a teen may be feeling is uncomfortable or unmanageable. If it's uncomfortable, learning to sit with that is part of the process of healthy emotional maturation. Here's where you can find Dr. Lisa Damour: -our previous interview with Dr. Lisa -https://drlisadamour.com/ -@lisa.damour on IG -https://www.facebook.com/lisadamourphd -Buy Lisa's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593500019 mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From how to eat a Reese's peanut butter cup, to *not* saving the pandas, to the forever-ban of helium balloons, our listeners are funny moms who are willing to die on some pretty tiny hills. Here's what mountains you all are making out of mole hills– plus a few of our own tiny battles. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

’Tis the season for traditions— most of that holiday work shopped for, planned, and generally upheld by moms. And for some of us, sending 300 holiday cards or creating a new tableau for a six-inch elf every night before bed really gets us in the holiday spirit. But most of us, at this time of year, have more to do than hours to do it. Many of us think we’re done shopping and only then remember Aunt Doris who is impossible to buy for (and has expressed specific disappointment in giftcards). Many of us have kids at whom we may have raised our voices after the fifth or sixth question about when we were going to make all the Christmas cookies this year.  So we asked our listeners: What are the holiday traditions that you love and work great for your family? What are the things you’d rather never do again but feel like you can’t stop now? In this episode, we discuss your responses, plus: -how to get out from under the traditions you wished you never started -what to consider before letting a new tradition take root (keeping in mind that anything that happens at this time of year will immediately be deemed “something we do every year”) -why the Elf on the Shelf might be a slippery slope to the full-on surveillance state -why the joy of anticipation is at least as good as the moment anticipated -how the Danish concept of hygge factors in to all of this -easy holiday traditions like “Christmas Adam,” which as far as we can tell mostly involves holiday pajamas and Rankin-Bass specials Lean into the hygge this holiday season. Push back against the incremental spend, the just running out for one more thing. Lean into the anticipation, because that’s the sweet spot. Oh, and Christmas lights. Lots of them. (They do wonders for Seasonal Affective Disorder.) Special thanks to our guest comedy bit reader for this week: Sean Conroy of The Long Shot Podcast! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Santa, Elf on the Shelf, gift exchange, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are picky eaters a reflection of their parenting? How in control are moms and das when it comes to kids' willingness to eat a variety of foods? Amy Palanjian, creator of yummytoddlerfood.com and author of the NYT bestselling book DINNERTIME SOS, is here to reframe our parental anxieties around feeding our kids every single day. Amy and Margaret discuss: -where to start when it comes to feeding your picky eater -why we shouldn't expect kids to "make healthy choices" -how to make dinnertime less stressful for everyone Here's where you can find Amy: -@yummytoddlerfood -yummytoddlerfood.com -Buy DINNERTIME SOS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593578506 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We look back on our favorite parenting tips and takeaways we learned this year. Here's the Spotify playlist with all of our favorite episodes from 2023! Here are the parenting experts who changed our thinking the most, the listeners who made us laugh the most, and what we're going to carry with us into the new year. We also shout out the fantastic small team that makes What Fresh Hell and our podcast network, Adalyst Media, run so smoothly. All women, all amazing. Our listeners are amazing, too. Thank you for being part of our funny, fun, supportive community. If you haven't yet, join our Facebook group, the last good place on the internet: https://www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This week we're revisiting "Handling the Holiday Craziness" — need we say more? Each December 25th, most moms look at a living room full of scattered wrapping paper and vow to do less next year. Then Black Friday rolls around. But can you really downshift on how much Santa brings once a baseline has been established?  This week Amy and Margaret talk about managing the holiday craziness. (Disclaimer: for both of us, that does mean Christmas, although we feel the pain of the Hanukkah Harriets out there, we really do). Here’s some of what’s discussed in this episode:   -how to get your kids more involved in holiday preparations— at any age - the very appealing “three kings, three gifts” rule -how to carefully consider any new holiday “traditions” before instating them (we’re looking at you, Elf on the Shelf) -how the Laws of Holiday Attrition can work in your favor -how Amy uses this cookie recipe every December and it’s easy and amazing -what to do when your spouse gives you a Pajamagram We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How does our cultural upbringing influence the way we parent? Ed Center, founder of Village Well Parenting, discusses how culturally grounded positive parenting can bring connection, joy, and healing to both kid-raisers and educators. Ed has spent his career supporting low-income, underrepresented youth and adults by helping them gain access to the resources necessary to thrive. He started The Village Well to bring more connection, joy, and healing to families of color. In this interview, Amy and Ed discuss: -The lack of attention to diverse cultures and traditions in traditional parenting courses and literature -How generational wisdom can sometimes come from the same source as generational trauma -How to stay calm when your children are not Here's where you can find Ed: -https://www.villagewellparenting.com -IG: @villagewellparenting -FB: @thevillagewell -TikTok: @queerbrowndad -Sign up for First Fridays with Ed on this page We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The average adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. The average "default parent" makes a lot more than that. No wonder we suffer from decision fatigue. The more decisions we have to make, the more fatigue we develop, and the more difficult it can become to function. So how can we combat the frustration, apathy, and resentment that result from having to make all the decisions in the family? In this episode we discuss: -how decision fatigue manifests—and how it differs from burnout -the best time of day to make hard decisions -why "going with the flow" is not actually a thing Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: -Sara Berg for the American Medical Association: "What doctors wish patients knew about decision fatigue" -Michelle Adelman for HowStuffWorks: "When's the Best Time of Day to Make a Decision?" -Lauren Barth for The Bump: "Why the Decision-Fatigue Struggle Is (Still) Real for Parents" -Frank Graff for PBS North Carolina: "How Many Decisions Do We Make In One Day?" -Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco for The Washington Post: "For parents, everything feels like a high-stakes decision now. Here’s how to lower the anxiety." -Ashley Stahl for Forbes: "How Burnout Affects Your Decision-Making Process—And How To Fix It" -Eva M. Krockow for Psychology Today: "How Many Decisions Do We Make Each Day?" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This week we're revisiting our interview with Susan Katz Miller, author of THE INTERFAITH FAMILY JOURNAL. The holidays are always intense, and if your family is an intersection of multiple traditions, it can really ratchet up the pressure for perfection times two. Which is when it’s time to maintain perspective. As Susan explains: “I try to help people to understand that if they're having conflict often, it's not about religious difference. It's not about theology. It's not about whether there was an actual physical resurrection or not. It's usually about whether to put the fried onions on the green bean casserole or not.” In this episode we discuss -why every family is an interfaith family -how to reduce conflict about traditions with your spouse’s extended family -how to help your spouse when the hard feelings are on your family’s side -how to push back on the pressure to do “both” traditions perfectly -how to help your kids navigate being of a different faith than most people in your community -how to handle it when you’re observant but your spouse is not (or vice versa) -the resentment that can occur when the mom in a family is expected to carry the weight of passing on a religious tradition that's not even hers It’s worth it to have the conversations, do the work, and delineate a “sacred circle” that works for your immediate family. As Susan explains, when you and your spouse come from different traditions, “you’re going to be doing the work anyhow.” But challenging your own mindset and context is also an incredible opportunity for growth– even if the way your spouse’s family opens their holiday gifts is completely and totally wrong.  Here are links to some other writing on the topic we discuss in this episode:  -Pew Research Center: Why America’s ‘nones’ don’t identify with a religion -Stina Kielsmeier-Cook: Blessed Are the Nones: Mixed-Faith Marriage and My Search for Spiritual Community: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780830848270 -Buy THE INTERFAITH FAMILY JOURNAL: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781558968257 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What does it mean to be "touched out" as a mom? And once we know it's a thing—as anyone who's experienced it firsthand can attest—is there anything we can actually do about it? Amanda Montei, author of the popular Substack Mad Woman and the new book TOUCHED OUT, has studied the phenomenon of "maternal touch aversion" in both the literal and metaphorical senses. In this interview, Amanda, Margaret, and Amy discuss: -what being "touched out" really means—and why guilt and shame often accompanies it -the "very not normal" conditions of today's American parenting -how can we can begin to claim the space we want for our own selves, and model that for our children Here's where you can find Amanda: -https://www.amandamontei.com/ -Mad Woman Substack: https://amandamontei.substack.com/ -@amontei on IG -@amanda.montei on Facebook -Buy TOUCHED OUT: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780807013274 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into letting things go—arguments, unattainable standards, you name it! You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. It's hard to admit things aren't perfect. It's especially hard for moms. Psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett described three types of perfectionism in the 1990s: self-directed (I must be a size 2), others-directed (do that piano exercise again until you get it right), and "socially mediated" perfectionism, which comes from society making unrealistic demands of a person or a group and punishing that person when she falls short. Sound familiar? Turns out the amount of socially mediated perfectionism a parent feels is directly related to her level of "parental burnout," defined as exhaustion in one’s role as a parent, feelings of being fed up as a parent, and even emotional distancing from one’s children. Not the place any of us want to get to. So why is it so hard to admit things aren't perfect? And how can we start? Here are links to some of the research on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Fatemeh Ghanbari Jahromia et al: The relationship between socially prescribed perfectionism and depression: The mediating role of maladaptive cognitive schemas  Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett: Perfectionism in the Self and Social Contexts Matilda Sorkkila and Kaisa Aunola: Risk Factors for Parental Burnout among Finnish Parents: The Role of Socially Prescribed Perfectionism What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, self-conscious, mindfulness Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We all have things we dread about the holiday season, whether we celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or a combination of the above. In this episode we are here to list all the "fresh hells" of this time of year, like: the terrors of Santa's lap the people who are impossible to buy for the grandparents who take all of our best gift ideas the approaching storm system as you check in for your flight to Nana's We do love the holidays, though. Really, we do. Remind us of that. This episode was inspired by this discussion on our Facebook page: What do you dread most about the holiday season? Join the fun: https://facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This week we're revisiting "The Most Everything Time of the Year" and how the intensity really ratches up as soon as Thanksgiving is behind us. Are you juggling “dress as your favorite reindeer” day at preschool with frantic texts from your sister-in-law asking what your spouse wants for Christmas? Are you feeling like hiding under the covers instead of hitting the office holiday party?  It’s the most everything time of the year, and women report the holidays as being far more stressful than men do.  In this episode we discuss how to manage the holiday stress, how to accept the non-cozy feelings that may arise, and why it’s okay to dial back if you’re really not feeling the holiday spirit.  Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Pooja Lakshmin on Instagram @womensmentalhealthdoc Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research: Holiday Stress Harvard Medical School: A holiday advisory for your emotions Cedars-Sinai Hospital: Depression and Anxiety Around the Holidays We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can we set reasonable limits for our kids without negotiating every single time they're tested? Erica Ladd and Kelsey Wharton, co-hosts of "The Girl Next Door Podcast," discuss tips for setting boundaries—and not just at the holidays, but all year round. Margaret, Kelsey, and Erica discuss: Why holidays are so boundary-crushing Everyday actions you can take to practice setting boundaries Why boundaries are not just for handling "crazymakers" Here's where you can find Kelsey and Erica: https://www.girlnextdoorpodcast.com/ @higirlsnextdoor on Instagram Listen to the GND episode "Ten Things We're NOT Doing This Christmas" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you and your spouse slipped into "angry partners at the 24/7 daycare" mode since your baby was born? Here's why relationships change after kids, and some real solutions that can help us get through it. Amy and Margaret discuss: The number-one reason relationships change after a baby is born Helpful perspectives for maintaining sanity during early parenthood Small steps for building back connection with your partner Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Jessica Grose for the NYT: Fighting Constantly after Baby? Read This Doss BD, et al. The Effect of the Transition to Parenthood on Relationship Quality: An Eight-Year Prospective Study. Alex Vance for Verywell Family: 4 Ways To Focus On Your Relationship When the Kids Keep You Busy Jessica Grose for the NYT: Bickering More After Kids? Learn how to avoid the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse. Christina Caron for the NYT: How to Reconnect with Your Partner After Kids Judd Apatow: "Who Slept Worse?" Check out all of the amazing shows in the Adalyst Media podcast network! If you love What Fresh Hell, you'll love our network of sister podcasts. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we’re re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This one is about the "holiday creep" which, if you're reading this, has already begun... "Holiday Creep" is well on its way to being an entry in Merriam-Webster's dictionary. And with good reason. Amy and Margaret bemoan the fact the Christmas seems to start ever earlier, and weigh in on their strategies for managing the gift giving, decorating, and scheduling craziness at this time of year. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why Margaret is everyone's Christmas nightmare The 3 best rules for holiday gift giving When Christmas should REALLY start The solution to all the madness? Let the laws of holiday attrition work in your favor! If something falls off the list of priorities or is just no longer fun, take it off the calendar. Ask for a no-gift-exchange policy amongst family, friends, and coworkers, and find your "no" when it comes to holiday events, tasks, or experiences that are nothing but drudge for everyone! Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Anne Helen Petersen, "A Theory of Sprawling Holidays" Mollie Wilson O'Reilly, "Waiting By the Jesse Tree" Eleanor Lees for Newsweek: "Why Does the Christmas Countdown Get Earlier Every Year?" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What can we do when life seems to be falling down around our ears? Nicole Walters, author of the new book NOTHING IS MISSING: A MEMOIR OF LIVING BOLDLY, explains how to create our own fresh starts‒ and the joy that accompanies them. Nicole Walters is the host of "The Nicole Walters Podcast", a motivational speaker, and the mother of three adopted daughters. Nicole, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to pour into your community with gentleness, grace and honesty How "fresh starts" can help you take control of your life  Why vulnerability is essential to connection Here's where you can find Nicole: https://nicolewalters.com @nicolewalters (IG) @MonetizeThyself (FB) Listen to the Nicole Walters podcast Buy NOTHING IS MISSING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668000953 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here. This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting this episode from 2021. When a parent first hears about highly sensitive kids– or their opposite, sensory seekers– it can provide a profound moment of recognition, of connecting the dots for things about our kids that up until now have baffled us. We think understanding these sensory tendencies can help us parent our kids more effectively and compassionately. Not every kid who shows hyper- or hypo-sensitivity will go on to require occupational therapy, struggle in school, or anything else. But as childmind.org explains, ""These problems can be tough on kids, and get in the way of them functioning effectively, learning, and making friends." Every kid who displays these behaviors and preferences can benefit from a parent who understands and can therefore effectively support and address for the otherwise confusing behaviors that might ensue. We don't have to accommodate every dictate of an extremely picky eater, or messy playroom caused by a sensory seeker– but it's worth exploring, because it can really help us as parents to understand where these things might be coming from. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: This image from Miracle Maker Mom Michael Rosenthal, PhD for the Child Mind Institute: Sensory Processing FAQ Amanda Morin for understood.org: Sensory seeking and sensory avoiding: What you need to know We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sign up for "What Fresh Hell + " to get every one of our episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps: $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. There are some things in life that sound more fun in the planning stage than they are in the execution, and those things are statistically proven to be done more frequently by parents. We asked our listeners to tell us their lists of things that should be fun, but aren't. As the record will show, our listeners are sadly, completely correct. Don't say you weren't warned. Here's the link to the episode of The Mom Hour episode a few of our listeners mentioned: We Hate Fun! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What can we do to foster relationships between our kids and their grandparents? A listener in our Facebook group asked: "A question for those of you sandwiched between kiddos and elders in your home. How do you encourage interaction between the two ends of the spectrum? Our elder is old-school and equates time with our kiddo as a time to treat them with food and gifts. How do you support this relationship?" It's important to realize that in any interaction that you are trying to foster, that you don't have a tremendous amount of control, Margaret says. That being said, you can lay out guidelines and be very clear that, for example, "we only eat between these hours and this hour, and this is how we approach this kind of food. And so please limit the amount of treats you give my kid to one a day." You can go over this boundary with your kid as well. If your child has overlapping interests with any of their grandparents, that's a great place to start. You can also direct your child to talk to their grandparents if they express curiosity about a topic or time period they're familiar with. It can also go the other way, in that you can suggest a grandparent play a game or engage in an activity that your child is passionate about. Ultimately, you are a facilitator, not a controller, and you can't dictate the relationship between your child and their grandparents, but you can keep offering up opportunities for connection. Here's the article Margaret references in the episode: Susan Adcox for VeryWell Family: 6 Factors of Grandparent-Grandchild Closeness Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if leadership wasn't about being in charge, but about serving others? Mother Gopi Gita, is the founder of Leadership Parenting and Vice Principal at TKG Academy, an independent private school in Dallas, Texas. She's also the author of LEADERSHIP PARENTING, in which she defines leadership as "serving others with collaborative decision-making." That goes for parents and kids both! In this interview, Mother Gopi and Amy discuss: The three guiding principles for leadership parenting How to know when our child's "connection needs" are being met How to turn defiance into loving conversation Here's where you can find Mother Gopi: www.gopigita.com @leadershipparenting on IG Buy LEADERSHIP PARENTING: https://gopigita.com/new-book We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We know climate change affects not only our children's health but their future. So what can we as individuals do? Debra Hendrickson is a board-certified pediatrician practicing in Reno, Nevada, and a Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Nevada School of Medicine. She is also the author of the author of the new book THE AIR THEY BREATHE: A PEDIATRICIAN ON THE FRONT LINES OF CLIMATE CHANGE. In this interview, Margaret and Debra discuss: How climate change is affecting the health of children Why we should not feel completely defeated when it comes to reversing climate change Small steps we as individuals can take to reduce carbon emissions and keep our kids safe Here's where you can find Debra: https://debrahendrickson.com/ #TheAirTheyBreathe Buy THE AIR THEY BREATHE What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, climate change, climate change effects, global warming, global warming effects Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here. This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode from 2022, "When the World Moves Too Fast for Our Kids." When we look at our kids– and think of the responsibilities we had and risks we took at their ages– a lot of us think our kids are growing up more slowly. This is definitely not always a bad thing. But when our kid is playing Pokémon and their peers have moved on to Snapchat, should we be encouraging them to blossom? Or letting them stay young a little longer? Amy and Margaret discuss: why it's good to have "young" kids when to rescue, and when to leave them alone how to make our own homes safe havens for our kids to be exactly who they are Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Camille Noe Pagán for WebMD: "Is It Immaturity or ADHD?" Alloprof Parents: "5 ways to support an immature first grader" PsychCentral: "The Effects of Trauma from Growing up Too Fast" Amy Norton for CBS News: "Why today's teens are growing up more slowly than they used to" Katie Bishop for BBC: "Kids getting older younger: Are children growing up too fast?" Steven Richfield for HealthyPlace: "Coaching The Emotionally Immature Middle Schooler" Julie Rawe for Understood: "Why some kids seem immature compared to other kids their age" Dr. Tori Cordiano for Your Teen Magazine: "My Daughter Is Immature and She’s Annoying Her Friends" Jessica Lahey for Your Teen Magazine: "Understanding Changing Middle School Friendships" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Growth mindset is the belief that one's abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. Makes sense, but is it the number-one secret to our kids' future happiness and success? Is fixed mindset a death knell for our children's potential? Amy and Margaret discuss: The current controversy in academia about whether "growth mindset" has been over-emphasized Why it's important to praise our kids' efforts, more than those efforts' outcomes How to foster growth mindset in our kids (hint: it's by example) Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Melinda Wenner Moyer: Is Growth Mindset a Sham? Melinda Wenner Moyer: The Nitty Gritty of Growth Mindset Carol S. Dweck: Mindset Dweck, Carol et al: Praise for intelligence can undermine children's motivation and performance Macnamara, B. N., & Burgoyne, A. P: Do growth mindset interventions impact students’ academic achievement? A systematic review and meta-analysis with recommendations for best practices. Burnette, J. L., et al: A systematic review and meta-analysis of growth mindset interventions: For whom, how, and why might such interventions work? See Eva DeVirgilis's one-woman show, "In My Chair" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is fifth grade way more complicated than it used to be? A listener wrote in to ask: "Is it just me or is 5th grade rough? Is it just my 5th grader and his classmates, or are others experiencing this too? Weird friend drama, lots of emotions, being teased (but in a friendly way?)... It’s a lot. Please tell me I’m not alone!" The average 5th grader is in the 10- to 11-year-old range, and as Vanessa Kroll Bennett and Dr. Cara Natterson recently explained to us, that's become a reasonable age for puberty to begin. (Listen to our Fresh Take with them here.) So it's no wonder that some of them are feeling big emotions, or having sudden drama with the same friends they've had since kindergarten. Even though we may want to Mama Bear the situation and fix everything that's wrong, it's developmentally appropriate for kids of this age to experience discomfort of a social, mental, and yes, physical, nature. The best thing you can do is make your home a safe space for whatever emotions your child is feeling about all of this upheaval. If it seems like they're handling it, you can take a back seat. If they're really asking for your help, that's your cue to get more involved. But if you're not hearing as much as you used to about school and friends from your kid, remember that that's also normal for this age and stage. Here are two more of our Fresh Takes you may find helpful on this topic: Dr. Lisa Damour on Helping Kids Manage Anxiety Judith Warner on What Grownups Get Wrong About Middle School Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we talk to our kids about all the complicated topics our world presents them with? Dr. Robyn Silverman, child and teen development specialist, is the author of the bestselling book How to Talk to Kids About Anything and host of the podcast How to Talk to Kids About Anything, gives us scripts for having hard conversations with our kids. In this interview Dr. Silverman, Amy, and Margaret discuss: The downside to parents not talking to kids about hard things The biggest mistakes parents make when talking to kids Why tough conversations are worthwhile for reasons that go far beyond what might be discussed Here's where you can find Dr. Silverman: DrRobynSilverman.com @DrRobynSilverman on socials Buy HOW TO TALK TO KIDS ABOUT ANYTHING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781728246987 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here. This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode of that name from 2021 Sooner or later, most parents discover that their kid doesn't fit society's mold in one way or another. But there's "quirky" kids with unusual haircuts, and then there's the kids who really do their own thing, with or without peer approval. In this episode, we're talking about the latter. Those parents will recognize what Dr. Perri Klass calls "the pivotal moment": "not just one moment of extreme behavior in your kid, but the last in a series of impossible-to-explain-away behavior that resonates with the parent's long-considered and long-avoided fears. It crystallizes in a parent's mind all the floating anxieties and worries of many months." It’s especially challenging for us when our kids are outside the norm because we can't help but think what will become of this kid? But at those times, we're forgetting two things: not only do our children have the ability to grow and develop, we're going to become better parents along the way, as well. When it comes to our non-mold-fitting kids, there's reason to hope that the world will someday be wide enough. Albert Einstein didn’t fit the mold either, and things worked out pretty well for him. Which isn't to say he didn't cause his mom some sleepless nights along the way. Here are some links to writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Drs. Perri Klass and Eileen Costello: Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn’t Fit In greatschools.org: How to support your unique, quirky child childmind.org: Sensory Processing FAQs slate.com: What About Kids Who Don't Fit The Mold? Dana Basu: How to Cope When Your Child is Different Andrew Solomon: Far From The Tree: Parents, Children, And The Search For Identity We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re on YouTube Music! Watch and listen at this link: What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood We've all had times when our kids resist every. single. thing. you tell them to do. When is it part of a larger problem, and even if it's not, how do we manage the exhausting defiance? Amy and Margaret discuss: How to keep track of a kid's defiance in order to figure out where it's coming from Gut-check questions to ask yourself to ascertain where ODD might be what's happening the "two free requests" approach Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Katherine Lee for VeryWell Family: Effective Ways to Handle Defiant Children Royce Flippin for Additude: Why Is My Child So Angry and Defiant? An Overview of Oppositional Defiant Disorder Dr. Douglas Riley: The Defiant Child: A Parent’s Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder Mount Sinai Parenting Center: Positive Opposites We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Moms of little kids are touched all day, every day. So what happens when it's supposedly our spouse's turn at the end of the day, but we're just not in the mood for cuddling? This week a listener asks: "I’ve been really wanting my own space lately. I have two preschoolers and I’m nursing a baby. Basically, I’m touched out. I feel terribly bad because yesterday when I got everyone down for a nap, my husband (who is working from home) asked if he could snuggle with me. I said sure, but then asked him to leave so that I could rest. He caught me red-handed scrolling on my phone a couple of minutes later, and I had to admit I just didn’t want to snuggle. I really hurt his feelings. What can I say? Feeling really guilty… but I just want my own space! Is there a nice way to handle it when you don’t want to be touched?" The problem here isn't the snuggles, it's the communication. It's 100% reasonable to feel all touched out but also understandable for your spouse to feel hurt when he is cuddle-rejected. Having a conversation around both of your expectations while working from your maximum point of generosity will solve this problem in no time. The Parents.com article Margaret references in this article can be found HERE. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why is it that we can find ourselves in a marriage with someone we thought we knew but with whom we can't effectively communicate? Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, author of I Didn’t Sign Up For This, talks us through breaking negative cycles in our relationships. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is a clinical psychologist, relationship expert, and voice behind @drtracyd. Dr. Dalgleish and Margaret discuss: Why dating doesn't prepare us for marriage The most common problems couples have, and what's really underneath those issues The best way to approach difficult conversations with our partners Here's where you can find Dr. Dalgleish: https://www.drtracyd.com/ @drtracyd on IG / FB @pesipublishing on IG Buy I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683736622 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re doing a Deep Dive into our best episodes around a single topic. Find the Spotify playlist for this “Deep Dive” here. This group of episodes is about parenting kids who don’t fit the mold. This week, we’re revisiting our episode on meeting our kids where they are. It's hard not to be a little nervous when your kid is the only one still crying at preschool drop-off. Or the only one still spelling everything wrong in third grade. Sometimes it turns out to be a late bloomer situation, nothing to worry about. Sometimes it's an early indicator of something your kid might struggle with for a long time. How do we move beyond our own stress about what our kids are and aren't doing like the rest of the bunch? How do we adjust our demands to meet what our kids are actually capable of? How do we set our parental expectations so that our kids will be motivated to try harder without feeling bad about themselves? It's a tricky balance, best summed up by parent coach Sarah Wayland: "If we never had expectations that were beyond our children’s current abilities, we wouldn’t teach them anything.... But I’m at my absolute worst as a parent when my expectations are far beyond my kids’ abilities." Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Joanna Faber: Manage Your Expectations, Not Your Child Terri Mauro for Very Well Family: Backward Chaining for Special-Needs Children Dr. Sarah C. Wayland for Guiding Exceptional Parents: Meet Your Kids Where They Are Elaine Taylor-Klaus for Impact ADHD: Shift Your Expectations to Manage Complex Kids Listen to "When Typical Parenting Advice Just Doesn't Fit" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did you grow up thinking everyone's family has a tooth fairy that leaves tin foil behind instead of coins? Said "padiddle" whenever a car with a single headlight drove past? We asked our listeners what they grew up thinking everyone else's families did too... only to find out that nope, it was just them. Here's the link for "Throw Your Tooth on the Roof: Tooth Traditions from Around the World" See the original Facebook thread here We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What are the best things about having closely spaced siblings? What about farther apart? Siblings' closeness, amount of conflict, and relationships as adults are all affected by the age differences between them. In this episode, the listeners with closely spaced children tell us why that has worked for them (constant playmates) and not (constant bickering), while those with kids with larger age differences point to the unexpected connections that can still result. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Michael Waters for The Atlantic: A Subtle Shift Shaking Up Sibling Relationships ANALYZING CONTEMPORARY FERTILITY by Christine R. Schwartz et. al: Chapter 10: Trends in Years Spent as Mothers of Young Children: The Role of Completed Fertility, Birth Spacing, and Multiple Partner Fertility Bart H. H. Golsteyn and Cécile A. J. Magnée for the IZA Institute of Labor Economics: Does Birth Spacing Affect Personality? World Bank Group, "World Population Prospects: 2022 Revision:" Fertility rate, total (births per woman) - United States Cicirelli, V. G. for Developmental Psychology. Effects of sibling structure and interaction on children's categorization style. Sahar Borairi, et. al for the Society for Research in Child Development: "Do siblings influence one another? Unpacking processes that occur during sibling conflict" Erping Xiao et. al for Early Child Development and Care: "The influence of birth order and sibling age gap on children’s sharing decision" Read all of our listeners' great advice on the original thread in our Facebook group Listen to our episode "Birth Order: Can We Fight It?" Join our Facebook group for advice and laughs from other moms just like you! What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, siblings, brothers, sisters, sibling relationship, kids age gap, sibling age gap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we handle a life-changing diagnosis for our child without falling apart? A concerned mother asked for support in our Facebook group: "My sweet seven-year-old son just got two very life-altering diagnoses. I hate that he's going to have pain and struggle in his life. That some options for his life are off the table because of his diagnoses. He's just starting his life and already has so much stacked against him. My brain won't stop thinking; my fingers won't stop reaching for more information. How do you cope with this as a mother?" Amy tells this parent that she's right: this is a lot to handle, and she's not wrong to think so. Parents dealing with chronically ill children need to give themselves permission to feel all their feelings. Taking time for themselves is an important part of staying mentally healthy for the long haul. Real-life support is also crucial—and that can also include emails, phone calls, and online chats with parents you may never have met, but who are dealing with similar struggles. You don't have to pretend things are better or easier than they are when you are talking to fellow travelers who know just what you're going through. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers! For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can we empower kids to recognize and manage difficult feelings, especially when those skills may be new to us too? Alyssa Blask Campbell, author of the new book TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS, shows us how to foster emotional intelligence in our kids. Alyssa is the CEO of Seed & Sew, which supports teachers and families with tools for regulation, connection, and emotional intelligence. Alyssa is also the host of the podcast “Voices of Your Village.” Alyssa, Amy, and Margaret discuss: The main difference between parenting today and how most of us were parented The five components of emotional intelligence Collaborative Emotional Processing, Alyssa's framework for building long-term emotional intelligence in kids Here's where you can find Alyssa:  https://www.seedandsew.org @seed.and.sew on IG Buy TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063306264 Listen to the "Voices of Your Village" podcast - a new addition to the Adalyst Media network! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Information overload” is defined as the tipping point when the input of information exceeds an individual’s capacity to process it all. When we begin to feel overwhelmed and stressed by the amount of information that is available, we can end up feeling more stressed and overwhelmed than knowledgeable. For parents, the urge to find certainty through online research—only to end up feeling even less certain—is particularly common. How can we make the constant availability of information, useful and otherwise, work for us rather than against? Amy and Margaret discuss: How "information overload" can reduce decision-making abilities Whether obsessive internet searching is the result, or cause, of low self-confidence in parents How to know your limits, and then set them Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Terese Glatz and Melissa A. Lippold. “Is more information always better? Associations among parents’ online information searching, information overload, and self-efficacy.” International Journal of Behavioral Development. Jessica Runberg for The Washington Post: Is crowdsourced parenting eroding confidence? Cara Goodwin for Psychology Today: New Study: Information Overload for Parents We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices