In the mid-12th century, a mysterious letter was circulating the courts of Christian Europe. Its supposed author was Prester John, a powerful, immortal Christian king who purported to rule a fantastical empire in India.

Prester John was never real. But who wrote the letter and why? And why did Europeans spend centuries searching for him despite abundant evidence that the whole story was nonsense?

To answer these questions, Olivia and Aran will set out on a globe-trotting adventure, from the yurt-strewn steppe of Central Asia, to Italy’s city-republics, the highlands of East Africa, and even further afield. Along the way they’ll meet befuddled Ethiopian diplomats, fearsome warrior-khans, and maybe even the real Prester John himself…

Also discussed: Olivia’s love of big cans, the things you learn at Unitarian Universalist Sunday school, and why we can’t have cat-sized elephant friends.

Further reading:

The Letter of Prester John: http://www.ancienttexts.org/library/celtic/ctexts/presterjohn.html

Devin DeWeese, "The Influence of the Mongols on the Religious Consciousness of Thirteenth-century Europe." https://www.jstor.org/stable/43193054

Matteo Salvatore, "The Ethiopian Age of Exploration: Prester John's Discovery of Europe, 1306-1458." https://www.jstor.org/stable/41060852

Marianne O'Doherty, "Imperial Fantasies: Imagining Christian empire in three fourteenth-century versions of the Book of John Mandeville." https://www.jstor.org/stable/26396423?read-now=1&seq=3#page_scan_tab_contents

Karl F. Helliner, "Prester John's Letter: a Medieval Utopia." https://www.jstor.org/stable/1086970?read-now=1&seq=10#page_scan_tab_contents

Samantha Kelly: "Ewosṭateans at the Council of Florence (1441): Diplomatic Implications between Ethiopia, Europe, Jerusalem and Cairo." https://journals.openedition.org/afriques/1858#:~:text=The%20Council%20of%20Florence%20must,vociferous%20opponents%2C%20the%20Coptic%20patriarchs.

Unfortunately, Aran and Olivia are still recovering from one heck of a summer! Regular WMG pod episodes will resume in two weeks' time. In the interim, please enjoy another dump of outtakes that we have pieced together in order to give you all a glimpse into the depths of your two hosts' sick, twisted minds.....

Yes, you heard us right!! Join Olivia and Aran as they defend their most dubious claim to date, which is definitely not just an excuse to step beyond our usual remit and talk about the wild, delightful world that was Edo Period Japan! We explore why Edo Japan was so cut off from the world and the effects this had on its society, plus some of the cultural developments that took place along the way. Also discussed are

• The legend of the tanuki and the train
  • https://www.proquest.com/docview/1036926966?sourcetype=Scholarly%20Journals
• Kume Kunitake's diaries of travel in Europle and the United States
  • https://archive.org/details/japanrisingiwaku0000kume/
• An overview of the Satsuma rebellion
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/2383560
• The decline of the Japanese warrior class
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/25790888

The song used in this episode is sōran bushi, a Japanese folk song traditionally sung by fishers.

Journey across space and time with Olivia and Aran this week as we head to medieval Wales, home of one of history's finest bardic traditions. But what was a bard, what did they do, and why did Wales have so darn many of them? Give the episode a listen to learn all this and more! Also discussed are sand worms, long houses, and why foxes are better than babes.

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• English translations of Dafydd ap Gwilym's poetry
  • https://dafyddapgwilym.net/eng/3win.php
• Y Goddodin
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/48578318
• The Court Poets of the Welsh Princes
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/459824
• Performance and Literacy in Medieval Welsh Poetry
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/3737807

Music sources for this episode:

• Intro: https://archive.org/details/78_bugeilior-gwenith-gwyn-idle-days-in-summer-time_gwilym-williams-frances-williams_gbia0015181a
• Breaks: https://archive.org/details/78_evanss-jigg_the-folk-dance-orchestra-w-s-gwynn-williams-p-green-philip-green_gbia0511441b
• Bard rap battle (track 3): https://archive.org/details/lp_spanish-medieval-music_new-york-pro-musica-alfonso-x-el-sabio/disc1/01.03.+Cantigua+XXV%3B+Cantigua+CXXXIX.mp3

Something tells me it's all happening at the zoo...

Spring is just around the corner in the northern hemisphere, so it's time to learn some animal facts! Turns out, medieval people had all sorts of strange beliefs about wildlife both real and imagined. So, join Olivia, Aran, and beloved naturalist Sir David Attenborough* as they take you to meet fruit-rustling hedgehogs, homicidal pelicans, immortal eagles, and the most tender lovers in the animal kingdom: bears.

Also discussed: the existential terror of Animorphs, CS Lewis' creative process, and which animals are Jesus.

• An excellent English translation of a Latin bestiary https://digital.library.wisc.edu/1711.dl/PVFA6XOOSG2448C
• The Ashmole Bestiary https://digital.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/objects/faeff7fb-f8a7-44b5-95ed-cff9a9ffd198/
• The Northumberland Bestiary https://www.getty.edu/art/collection/object/109AX3

*Not really.

Anyone who's anyone in the Middle Ages needs their own coat of arms, but it's not as simple as just throwing some snazzy shapes and cool animals on a shield and calling it a day. Join Olivia and Aran as they walk you through how to make your very own authentically (or inauthentically) medieval coat of arms, as well as a little bit of background on how and why these cool emblems became a quintessential part of medieval visual communication. Also discussed are short king representation, why leopards are bastards, and the glory of Peterhead FC.

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• An English translation of John Trevor's heraldic treatise
  • https://archive.org/details/medievalheraldry0000ejjo/
• Geoffrey Chaucer's testimony in favour of Sir Richard Scrope
  • https://chaucer.fas.harvard.edu/pages/deposition-geoffrey-chaucer-esquire-1386
• Heraldry, Ancient and Modern by Charles Boutell
  • https://archive.org/details/heraldryancientm00bout/

Weird Medieval Guys is back! And it's gone woke!!!!!!

We all know medieval women didn't have it so good. Endlessly discriminated against in law, demeaned in culture and ignored in the histories. So, did anyone take issue with that? Turns out, yes! This week Olivia and Aran take you through the cultural milieu that produced Christine de Pizan, the poet / political scientist / gender polemnicist who revolutionized fourteenth-century debate and was (maybe?) the world's first feminist.

Also discussed: the origins of the wage gap, the medieval Yoko Ono, and whether losers will listen to this episode before getting mad about it on the internet!

Further reading:

Joan Kelly, "Early Feminist Theory and the "Querelle des Femmes", 1400-1789" https://www.jstor.org/stable/3173479

Fiona Tolhurst, "Geoffrey and Gender: the Works of Geoffrey of Monmouth as Medieval “Feminism”", in A Companion to Geoffrey of Monmouth, eds. Georgia Henley and Joshua Byron Smith https://www.jstor.org/stable/pdf/10.1163/j.ctv2gjwzx0.20.pdf?refreqid=fastly-default%3Ab0f9ab96223431831c1834f0de4f492d&ab_segments=0%2FSYC-7052%2Fcontrol&origin=&initiator=search-results&acceptTC=1

An English translation of Christine de Pizan's Book of the City of Ladies https://www.docdroid.net/file/download/lFahHSo/the-book-of-the-city-of-ladies-by-christine-de-pizan-earl-jeffrey-richards-transl-z-liborg-pdf.pdf

The year is 1453 and the Ottomans are at the gates of the great city of Constantinople. For centuries, they have been laying siege to this city; for centuries their efforts have failed. But this time, everything is going to be different. Constantinople is going to fall.

How did history lead them there, though? And how exactly are the events of the siege going to play out? Olivia and Aran wrap up their magnificent two-part overview of Constantinople with an exploration of how the Ottoman Turks came to be the most powerful force in Anatolia and how they finally managed to claim Constantinople for themselves. Also discussed are the Wild East, Scottish things, and the simple pleasures of a flaked almond.

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• This biography of Mehmed the Conqueror by Franz Babinger https://archive.org/details/mehmedconqueror00fran/mode/2up
• Nicolo Barbaro's first-hand account of the siege of Constantinople https://deremilitari.org/2016/08/the-siege-of-constantinople-in-1453-according-to-nicolo-barbaro/

The music used in the intro and outro of this episode is a public domain recording of the Ottoman march Ceddin Deden.

https://archive.org/details/lp_turkey-a-musical-journey-traditional-son_various/disc1/02.07.+Mehter+Music.mp3

Additional music used throughout is a public domain recording of a Turkish folk song called "Girl from Kermen" https://archive.org/details/lp_songs-and-dances-of-turkey_various/disc1/01.05.+Girl+From+Kermen+(Love+Song+From+Central+Turkey).mp3

After nearly half a year adrift on the seas of medieval history, it is finally time for Olivia and Aran to wash ashore on the hospitable shores of a little town called CONSTANTINOPLE. Join us for part 1 of 2 about the great medieval megalopolis as we explore the city from its prehistoric foundation to its siege by Catholic crusaders. And be sure to stay tuned for part 2, the incredible story of the Ottoman siege! Also discussed are worm biology, the elusive water sheep, and the viking urge to inscribe rocks.

Interesting web links:

• Chinese accounts of Rome http://depts.washington.edu/silkroad/texts/weilue/weilue.html
• Viking graffiti in the Hagia Sophia https://sites.nd.edu/manuscript-studies/2020/06/05/varangian-guards-and-their-traces-in-istanbul-runic-inscriptions-in-hagia-sophia/
• A translated excerpt from The Book of the Prefect https://www.uwyo.edu/lawlib/blume-justinian/_files/docs/Book-1PDF/Book%201-28.pdf

Further reading:

Richard Fidler, Ghost Empire

Judith Herrin, Byzantium: The Surprising Life of a Medieval Empire

Bettany Hughes, Istanbul: A Tale of Three Cities

The music used in this episode's intro is a public domain recording of the Greek folk song Απ' τον καημό μου πίνω (I drink because of my sorrow)

https://archive.org/details/78_title-in-greek_contributors-in-greek_gbia0033944a

Additional music clips used throughout are from that song and another Greek folk song Πειραιώτισσα (The girl from Piraeus/Piraeotissa)

https://archive.org/details/78_title-in-greek_contributors-in-greek_gbia0033944b

Weird Medieval Guys is back, and there's more audience participation than ever! In this episode, Aran and Olivia tackle a litany of listener questions on the most important medieval topics, like the conversion of the Vikings, the best names for dogs, and whether medieval life was mid and evil. Also discussed are jambalaya, the importance of simping and the gruesome fate of Mickey Mouse.

Order Weird Medieval Guys: How to Live, Laugh, Love (and Die) in Dark Times by Olivia M. Swarthout: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/455674/weird-medieval-guys-by-swarthout-olivia/9781529908305

Order merch from the Weird Medieval Guys merch shop: https://weirdmedievalguys.bigcartel.com/

Further reading:

"The names of all manner of hounds: a unique inventory in a fifteenth-century manuscript" by David Scott-Mcnab https://www.academia.edu/44222801/THE_NAMES_OF_ALL_MANNER_OF_HOUNDS_A_UNIQUE_INVENTORY_IN_A_FIFTEENTH_CENTURY_MANUSCRIPT

Ibn Fadlan's account of a Viking funeral: https://www.mrtredinnick.com/uploads/7/2/1/5/7215292/ibn_fadlan_-_account_of_a_viking_burial.pdf

Istanbul: A Tale of Three Cities by Bettany Hughes: https://www.bettanyhughes.co.uk/istanbul-a-tale-of-three-cities

Olivia's approach to episode planning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QFM8VD_Nbs

Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/74034

The Knight's Toast by Sir Walter Scott: https://www.loc.gov/item/jukebox-130606/

War Song of the Normans: https://www.loc.gov/item/jukebox-11937/

In this episode, Olivia and Aran are joined by a delightful host of guests from Weird Medieval Guys podcast episodes past as they prepare to put on the perfect medieval holiday party. Join them for a journey through medieval festive traditions that will tell you everything you need to know to do the same, from what kind of booze to bring wassailing to what creature's head should be roast and served on a plate and what kinds of entertainment you can expect. Also discussed are gay Dracula's emotional health, whether boar enjoy being stabbed, and who brings presents to Catalonian children. For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• Medieval Hanukkah traditions: Jewish festive foods in their European contexts
  • https://www.academia.edu/12348903/Medieval_Hanukkah_traditions_Jewish_festive_foods_in_their_European_contexts
• Holiday Gifts in the Middle Ages
  • https://www.medievalists.net/2021/12/holiday-gifts-middle-ages/
• The Origins of the Christmas Date: Some Recent Trends in Historical Research
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/23358685?read-now=1&seq=9#page_scan_tab_contents
• The Mouth of the Boar as a Symbol in Medieval Literature
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/44940429?read-now=1&seq=4#page_scan_tab_contents

Due to Olivia's characteristic truancy, no episode could be recorded this week. In lieu of your regular WMGPod content, please enjoy this gag reel of previously-unseen podcast content featuring Olivia, Aran, and occasionally Joe Mason. In two weeks, we will return to our usual format!

Several weeks after Joan of Arc led the battle to lift the siege at Orleans, she was already famous across Europe. However, it was perhaps how her story ended that cemented her status as a hero of worldwide and eternal renown.

Our series on the Hundred Years' War concludes here, with a final episode about Joan of Arc's capture, trial, fate, and legacy....

The Middle Ages gave us one of the longest-lasting institutions of education: the university. And where there are universities, there are sure to be students sowing chaos and destruction. Olivia and Aran are joined by a special guest, Joe Mason, as they explore the medieval origins of universities and take a look at the lives and activities of those who studied at them. Also discussed are the dangers of tennis, the risks of kidnapping a bishop, and wrong way to behave in a tavern.

For more information about some of what we discuss, check out:

• The Life of Medieval Students as Illustrated by their Letters
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/1832500
• Student power in medieval universities
  • https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/89561/j.2164-4918.1968.tb03142.x.pdf?sequence=1
• Sporting and Recreational Activities of Students in the Medieval Universities
  • https://www.medievalists.net/2010/07/sporting-and-recreational-activities-of-students-in-the-medieval-universities/
• Medieval murder maps
  • https://medievalmurdermap.co.uk/

The Weird Medieval Guys book is now out!!! Head to linktr.ee/weirdmedievalguys to pick up a copy!

Florence and its residents appear in late medieval popular culture across Europe, particularly in jokes at their expense. So why was everyone so obsessed with Florence? In this episode, Olivia and Aran take a look at how this Tuscan city grew to become a thriving centre of arts, banking, and trade by the 15th century, its resulting notoriety, and the conflicts that ensued between its different factions. Also discussed are Olivia's Italian heritage, why Master Splinter is a communist, and the Underwear Revolution.

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• Poggio Fiorentino's 1470 joke book "Facetiae"
  • https://elfinspell.com/PoggioSecondTitle.html
• The Economy of Renaissance Florence by Richard Goldthwaite
  • https://muse.jhu.edu/book/3422
• Plebeian Politics: Machiavelli and the Ciompi Uprising by Yves Winter
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/41703099
• The Patron's Payoff by Jonathan K. Nelson and Richard J. Zeckhauser
  • https://press.princeton.edu/books/paperback/9780691161945/the-patrons-payoff

In this special Halloween episode of the Weird Medieval Guys podcast, Olivia and Aran take a look at the confluence of fact, fable and fear that created the medieval vampire myth. We then explore how that myth developed into the modern image of vampires that most people think of today, most notably how the titular character of Bram Stoker's novel Dracula came to be. Also discussed are why Dracula is better in the original Spanish, Aran's suspicious new roommate from Transylvania, and recipes for Blood.

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• Circumcising Dracula
  • www.jstor.org/stable/43308497
• William of Newburgh's ghost stories as urban legends
  • www.jstor.org/stable/48577687
• Modern legend and rumour theory
  • www.jstor.org/stable/3814160
• Medieval conceptions of blood
  • www.jstor.org/stable/42001729

Jesters. They're just funny little guys with bells who hang around their medieval king and make wisecracks, right? As it turns out, there's actually a bit more to it. Olivia and Aran trace the origins and development of jesters, minstrels, fools, and other entertainers in the wider context of humour in the Middle Ages. Along the way, we meet some of medieval europe's weirdest guys and crack plenty of authentically medieval jokes! Also discussed are Critical Clown Studies, historical oppression of drummers, and the most single Welshman ever.For more information about some of what we discuss, check out:

• E.K. Chambers' The Mediaeval Stage (1903), in particular chapter 3: "The Minstrel Life"
  • https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.215896/page/n93/mode/2up
• Fooling Around the World: The History of the Jester
  • https://press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/640914.html
• More about Stanczyk the jester and Jan Matejko's famous painting of him
  • https://www.rhiannonpiper.com/blog/behind-the-painting-unveiling-the-layers-of-meaning-in-staczyk

• Age at first marriage in 13th-15th century Lincolnshire
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/2174029
• Women and the law in early Ireland
  • https://celt.ucc.ie/women_law.html
• Divorce, Medieval Welsh Style
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/3301214
• `Runaway Wives: Husband Desertion in Medieval England
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/4491898

Olivia and Aran take on their greatest challenge to date: two bags of doritos. We attempt to answer with as much rigour as possible the question of whether a medieval peasant would be knocked dead by a taste of the delightful snack. Then, we explore why medieval people loved spices so much that they took over half the world looking for them. Also discussed are the secrets to good soup, the ports and gals of Portugal, and where Italians go when they die. For more information about what we cover, check out:

• Boccacio's Decameron translated into modern English (see "THE THIRD STORY" for a description of parmesan cheese mountain, or just Ctrl-F for "parmesan")

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/23700/23700-h/23700-h.htm

• A fun list of prices of various goods in medieval Europe, including several spices, compiled by Berkeley professor Kenneth Hodges

http://medieval.ucdavis.edu/120D/Money.html

• A quick look at salt in the Middle Ages on medievalists.net

https://www.medievalists.net/2016/01/using-salt-in-the-middle-ages/

• A more detailed look at the social role of spices in the Middle Ages by Stefan Halikowski Smith

https://www.jstor.org/stable/40110784

• An English Translation of Le Viandier de Taillevent, one of the most significant medieval cookbooks, featuring recipes such as "bright green soup" and "red deer testicle"

https://jpnet.ca/data/viandier/viandier1.html

Follow us on Twitter!

• Weird Medieval Guys @WeirdMedieval
• Olivia @olivia__ms
• Aran @aranptappers

Aran and Olivia cover one of the most iconic parts of medieval warfare: the siege. Learn more about the wacky weapons and machines that were used in medieval sieges plus the even wackier people who invented them.

Also discussed are giant eggs, wizards, and unbeatable strategies for rock paper scissors.

For more information about some of what we cover, check out:

• Orban and his giant cannon, Basilic

https://www.camrea.org/2017/09/11/orban-the-man-who-brought-down-the-walls-of-constantinople-part-i/

• A digitised 15th century illustrated manuscript of Bellifortis

https://www.loc.gov/item/2021668178/

• The social and historical background and impact of Bellifortis

https://www.jstor.org/stable/48578613

• Everyday Magic in the Middle Ages on medievalists.net

https://www.medievalists.net/2021/09/everyday-magic-middle-ages/

Olivia and Aran explore three guys from the Middle Ages who gained fame, power and notoriety through their wives. At a time when husbands were expected to exercise complete control over their spouses, these men's stories are inextricably linked with their affection and respect for their wives. Also discussed are the true nature of Parisians, how Grimace came to be, and historical parallels with the Joker and Harley Quinn.For more information about some of what we cover, check out:

• A rundown of the "wife guy" phenomenon

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/wife-guys

• An English translation of the full text of Procopius' Secret History, especially Chapter IX onwards for more about Theodora and her relationship with Justinian

https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/12916/pg12916.html

• A detailed discussion of the mosaics of Justinian and Theodora in Ravenna

https://brewminate.com/byzantine-art-as-propaganda-justinian-and-theodora-at-ravenna/

• The letters of Héloïse and Abelard

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/35977/35977-h/35977-h.htm

• A discussion of Héloïse's influence on Abelard's philosophy

https://www.jstor.org/stable/41963758

• The Wife of Bath's Tale translated into modern English

https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/English/CanterburyTalesVI.php

• A couple articles on gendered power dynamics in The Wife of Bath's Tale

https://www.jstor.org/stable/41925333https://www.jstor.org/stable/25093919Remember, you can read 100 JSTOR articles for free each month if you sign up for an account! (no payment needed!)Follow us on Twitter!Weird Medieval Guys @WeirdMedievalOlivia @olivia__msAran @aranptappers

Olivia and Aran take on five common modern-day misconceptions about the Middle Ages and dig into what makes them so prevalent. These myths are, in order:

1. The medieval world wasn't colourful (0:45)

2. Most people in the Middle Ages were illiterate

3. Medieval knights followed a strict chivalric code

4. Medieval communities were largely homogeneous

5. Medieval peasants worked less than modern people

Also discussed are appropriate names for baby boys, the Breaking Bad "Mexico" filter, and the beneficial relationship between good eyesight and firearm ownership.For more information about some of what we cover:

• A medieval castle restored to its original pink colour https://roaringwaterjournal.com/tag/lime-render-on-medieval-castles/

• The Medievalists.net podcast on literacy and education https://www.medievalists.net/2019/09/education-in-the-middle-ages/

• French Chivalry by Sidney Painter https://muse.jhu.edu/book/72155

• Graves in medieval London https://www.medievalists.net/2019/09/black-death-burials-reveal-the-diversity-of-londons-medieval-population/

• Richard Clark on medieval labour https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ehr.12528

• Nora Kenyon on medieval labour https://www.jstor.org/stable/2589850

Follow us on Twitter!Weird Medieval Guys @WeirdMedievalOlivia @olivia__msAran @aranptappers

As we continue our series on the Hundred Years' War, Armagnac cause has never seemed so hopeless. An Englishman sits on the French throne, the Scottish army has been crushed, and now the Armagnac stronghold of Orléans is about to fall.

That is, until the emergence of the most unlikely hero: a charismatic peasant girl, who claims to speak to angels.

In this episode, we chart the rise of Joan of Arc, from a normal working-class life in north-west France, to the self-appointed saviour of the nation.

For more information on what we discuss in this episode:

• The transcript of the trial of Joan of Arc:
  • https://saint-joan-of-arc.com/trial-condemnation.htm
• Joan of Arc and Female Mysticism
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/25002016

Music used in this episode:

https://archive.org/details/arn-36554-lart-du-luth-au-moyen-age-guy-robert-et-lensemble-perceval/ARN+36554%E2%80%A2f1.wav

In this inaugural episode of the Weird Medieval Guys podcast, Olivia and Aran discuss why medieval art is so intriguing to modern viewers and what makes so much of it so weird. Also discussed are Galaxy Quest, Mel Gibson's crimes against the Middle Ages, and the future historic legacy of explicit images of Garfield the cat.

For more information about some of what we cover:

• Listen to Ira Glass and Michael Camille at Medieval Times
• Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman
• Read more about visual puns in the 13th century Rutland Psalter
• Read "The Wonders of the East" online to learn about giant ants, pepper-loving snakes, and more

Follow us on Twitter!

Weird Medieval Guys @WeirdMedieval

Olivia @olivia__ms

Aran @aranptappers

Our series on the Hundred Years' War continues with a deep dive into the events of the conflict and the consequences of a century of violence and death across Europe. Join Olivia and Aran as they discuss how the Black Death, rapid military and social developments, and a million succession crises almost brought France to the brink of defeat by the English. Until, somewhere in northeastern France, in a sleepy village called Domrémy, a young woman begins to have visions....

Join us in two weeks' time as we continue the series by giving you a proper introduction to Joan of Arc and her exploits! Until then, enjoy the show.

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• The transcript of the trial of Joan of Arc:
  • https://saint-joan-of-arc.com/trial-condemnation.htm
• The Social Impact of the Hundred Years War on the Societies of England and France
  • https://stars.library.ucf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1116&context=honorstheses
• Gunpowder Weaponry and the Rise of the Early Modern State
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/26004330
• Joan of Arc and Female Mysticism
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/25002016

Music used in this episode:

https://archive.org/details/ld-100-en-retrouvant-le-moyen-age-charles-ravier/LD+100%E2%80%A2f1.wav

https://archive.org/details/arn-36554-lart-du-luth-au-moyen-age-guy-robert-et-lensemble-perceval/ARN+36554%E2%80%A2f1.wav

And be sure to join the official WMG Discord server!!

https://discord.gg/S6tdHCDq

A new, three-part epic kicks off in this episode of Weird Medieval Guys, covering the Hundred Years War, the apocalyptic conflict which forged the modern nations of England, France and Scotland.

In this episode, Olivia and Aran chart the prelude to the conflict: the Scottish Wars of Independence. After the unexpected, heirless death of King Alexander III, Scotland is plunged into a crisis that threatens to turn into a full-scale civil war. But machinations in Paris and London will transform this dynastic feud into the spark that will set all of western Europe ablaze...

If all that isn't enough for you, we've also got a magic stone, a disembodied heart, and a kingdom saved by an army of prostitutes. Never say we do nothing for you.

The European football championships have kicked off, so it's time to talk sports! Join Olivia and Aran as they crack open a cold one or several and take a look at the long history of football in Europe, as well as the almost-as-long history of football hooliganism. In doing so, we will try to understand why there have been so many attempts to ban the sport....that is to say, why every attempt to do so has failed!

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• Quest for excitement : sport and leisure in the civilizing process (Chapter 5) by Norbert Elias and Eric Dunning
  • https://archive.org/details/questforexciteme00elia/
• Football in Medieval England and in Middle-English Literature by F.P. Magoun, Jr.
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/1838470
• Sport and Social Hierarchy in Medieval England by Thomas S. Henricks
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/43609079
• Two poems about James Dog by William Dunbar
  • https://allpoetry.com/poem/15427673-Of-James-Dog--Madame--ye-heff-a-dangerous-dog--by-William-Dunbar

It's time to get continental because on this episode of the Weird Medieval Guys podcast, we're heading to the Holy Roman Empire! When Voltaire famously said that the Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, Roman, nor an empire, he probably didn't think that his words would haunt history classrooms and conversations centuries in the future. Unfortunately they did, and so we are left to deal with the legacy of this smarmy soundbite. Join Olivia and Aran as they unpack what on earth this crazy, crazy thing really was and try to deliver a verdict on whether Voltaire was right.

For more on some of what we discuss, please check out:

• Nation States as Empire, Empires as Nation States by Krishan Kumar
  • https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Krishan-Kumar-13/publication/227138385_Nation-states_as_empires_empires_as_nation-states_two_principles_one_practice/links/56a7ae0a08ae860e0255800e/Nation-states-as-empires-empires-as-nation-states-two-principles-one-practice.pdf
• Rulers on the Road: Itinerant Rule in the Holy Roman Empire, AD 919–1519
  • https://www.carlmueller-crepon.org/publication/itinerant_rule/MNKM_itin_rulers_20240430.pdf
• IMPERIAL FANTASIES: IMAGINING CHRISTIAN EMPIRE IN THREE FOURTEENTH-CENTURY VERSIONS OF "THE BOOK OF SIR JOHN MANDEVILLE by Marianne O'Doherty
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/26396423

And be sure to join the official WMG Discord server!!

https://discord.gg/S6tdHCDq

Oh no! You've become unstuck in time and now you're in 15th century England with no idea what to do or how to avoid a miserable life as a social pariah who speaks an unrecognisable language and is ignorant to the rules and structure of the world around you! There has to be a better way! Or is there? Join Olivia and Aran as they journey back to medieval times to figure out the best way to get by. Should you become a monk or a nun? Have a go at blacksmithing? Or try to wow the village rubes with modern technology and ideas? All these options and more will be discussed in the search for a decent medieval life.

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• Database of England's immigrants 1330-1550
  • https://www.englandsimmigrants.com/
• Some case studies of individual immigrants in medieval England, including so-called "Prince of Inde" John Balbat and fake Jerseyman Giles Morvyle
  • https://www.englandsimmigrants.com/page/individual-studies
• William Lee and his frame knitting machine
  • https://alumni.christs.cam.ac.uk/william-lee
• The prologue to the Canterbury Tales, read in Middle English
  • https://archive.org/details/lp_prologue-to-the-canterbury-tales-read-in-m_geoffrey-chaucer-nevill-coghill-norman-dav

It's grim up north...

Why did a five-hundred-year-old Viking colony in Greenland suddenly disappear, with no trace or record? In this episode, Olivia, Aran, and local archaeologist Joe Mason assemble to try and solve one of the most enduring mysteries in medieval history. It's a quest that will take them out of the libertarian "paradise" of 11th century, to the freezing walrus-infested shores of Greenland, and beyond - to the promised land of Vinland. Along the way they'll encounter Native American ghosts, Inuit revenge epics, and the Vikings' love of pointless, cyclical violence.

Sources:

The Saga of the Greenlanders: https://vidforul.wordpress.com/the-saga-of-the-greenlanders/

The Saga of Erik the Red: https://sagadb.org/eiriks_saga_rauda.en

"Tales and Traditions of the Eskimo" by Hinrich Johannes Rink: https://sacred-texts.com/nam/inu/tte/index.htm

Music used:

Peta, Etulu & Susan - This Land is Your Land (Inuktitut) - https://citizenfreak.com/titles/319453-peta-etulu-susan-songs-by-etulu-susan-peta

Olafur reid med Bjorgum fram - https://www.loc.gov/item/2017701460/

The days have been getting shorter, the nights longer and the wind bitter-er. Even as the winter solstice draws near, the coming months of cold and darkness make spring seem still an eternity away. Making it through winter is never easy, so how did people in the Middle Ages get by? Join Olivia and Aran as they look into how people not only survived but thrived the whole medieval winter through.

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• A digitised version of the Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry:
  • https://arca.irht.cnrs.fr/iiif/4856/canvas/canvas-2045964/view
• The History of the Snowman by Bob Eckstein:
  • https://archive.org/details/historyofsnowman00ecks/
• Anglo-Saxon poem The Menologium:
  • https://oldenglishpoetry.camden.rutgers.edu/the-menologium/
• Recipes for pottage:
  • https://historydollop.com/2017/01/27/two-peasanty-pottages/
• Nutrition and the Early Medieval Diet by Kathy L Pearson
  • https://www.jstor.org/stable/2865862

Join the official WMG Discord server!! https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23

Music used in this episode is a public domain recording of the medieval French Christmas carol "Nowell, nowell Dieu vous garde," available here: https://archive.org/details/lp_nowel-nowel-english-medieval-carols-and_richard-hickox-member-of-the-richard-hicko/disc1/02.07.+Nowell%2C+nowell+Dieu+vous+garde+(Carol).mp3

This week, we're getting in our medieval spaceship and travelling through the medieval cosmos to find out just what medieval people thought about all of that space. We'll discuss some correct ideas they had, plenty of incorrect ones, and also how to use medieval astrology to make sure your medieval horse is in peak physical condition.

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• The Stars and Human Sexuality: Some Medieval Scientific Views by Helen Lemay
• https://www.jstor.org/stable/230317
• Robert Grosseteste on Light, Truth and "Experimentum" by Simon Oliver
• https://www.jstor.org/stable/41963724
• Foretelling the Future: Arabic Astrology and English Medicine in the Late Twelfth Century by Roger French
• https://www.jstor.org/stable/235980

Make sure to join the Weird Medieval Guys official Discord server! https://discord.gg/ZwHz5JDKky

Here's a rhetorical question: do you love your pet? Of course you do, but did you know that medieval people did too? The only difference is, these pets had jobs!

In this episode, Olivia and Aran delve into the wacky world of medieval cats and dogs, to explore what contemporary people wrote about them. Spoiler alert: they thought they were cool little guys.

Also discussed: the official WMG dogs Bonnie and Bizzy; whether medieval hunting is like football, and if they had Mormons in late-antique Arabia.

Further Reading:

Carole Rawcliffe, "Town Tykes and Butchers Hounds" https://www.jstor.org/stable/26630015?read-now=1&seq=18#page_scan_tab_contents

Peter Konieczny, "Why cats were hated in medieval Europe" https://www.medievalists.net/2023/05/cats-hated-medieval-europe/#:%7E:text=Cats%20in%20medieval%20Europe%20mostly,this%20view%20of%20felines%20emerged

Edward, Duke of York, "The Master of Game": https://www.gutenberg.org/files/43452/43452-h/43452-h.htm

Some lady called "'Olivia Swarthout' (never heard of her): "Medieval Muslims loved their cats so much" https://weirdmedievalguys.substack.com/p/medieval-muslims-were-so-much-nicer

The Laws of Hywel Dda: https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Laws_of_Howel_the_Good

Join the official Weird Medieval Guys Discord: https://discord.gg/ZwHz5JDKky

Oh my god the Weird Medieval Guys Podcast™ has gone cottagecore!

You know what clothes are, you love wearing clothes. But someone has to make them, and in the Middle Ages, they didn't have industrial-scale fast fashion sweatshops. So who made them then? Well, sit back and enjoy as Olivia spins a yarn about the medieval textile industry. It's got everything you want in a Weird Medieval Guys Podcast™ episode: gender! industrial relations! dismemberment! Ewe won't want to miss this one...

Don’t forget to join the Weird Medieval Guys discord server!

https://discord.gg/ZwHz5JDKky

Infernal covenants, black sabbaths and missing infants; dark deeds are afoot in the forests of medieval Europe... or are they?

It's a Halloween Spooktacular! When the Devil transforms Joe Mason into an angry amphibian, Olivia and Aran must venture deep into the woods* to find a witch who can restore his humanity. But first, they have to figure out what medieval people actually believed about witches. Spoiler alert: it's not what you think! Along the way, we'll meet magical detectives, pious necromancers, and a lot of people who need to stop laundering their sexual hangups as academia.

Also discussed: caked-up frogs, the historical accuracy of Warhammer 40,000, and which Better Call Saul character is most like the Devil.

JOIN THE WEIRD MEDIEVAL GUYS DISCORD TODAY: https://discord.gg/ZwHz5JDKky

*The events of this podcast are legally distinct from any and all seasonal miniseries' produced for Cartoon Network.

Olivia and Aran are back with another zinger as they begin to start to somewhat unpack some of the absolutely insane customs and beliefs that made up the Norse pagan world view!

Check out Snorri Sturlson's Prose Edda here:https://sacred-texts.com/neu/pre/index.htm

And join the official WMG discord here: https://discord.gg/ZwHz5JDKky

The music used in this episode is from Ísmús, an online Icelandic song and culture archive. The intro song, Óðinn gramur ása reið, can be found here: https://www.ismus.is/tjodfraedi/hljodrit/1031872

Subsequent musical segments are from Alþingisrímur: Nú skal byrja braginn á, which can be found here:https://ismus.is/tjodfraedi/hljodrit/1000209

Wait, what? Are you for real? is this a bit you're doing?

It would only make sense, right? Why else would they call it millenarianism?

So far we've talked a lot about the Norman conquest without talking very much about who the Normans were and why they (and especially one guy) wanted to conquest. Well, that changes today! How did some Vikings become French, why is that our problem over here in England, and what's wrong with being a bastard descended from a long line of bastards? Find out....

Join the Weird Medieval Guys discord today: https://discord.gg/S36vz4jD98

In the third episode of our Norman Conquest series, we look at the life and times of the second of our claimants to the English throne in 1066: Harald Sigurdson, King of Norway. When a teenaged Harald's life is upended by Cnut's invasion of Norway in 1028, he builds a new life for himself as a mercenary in Kyiv, and eventually as an honour guard for the Roman Emperors themselves. Along the way, he'll have to contend with Arab armies, a sexually voracious Empress, and even a giant serpent. It's a pulpy, action-packed adventure story for the whole family!

Assuming any of that is true, anyway. Which... eh. We'll get into it.

Join the Weird Medieval Guys discord today: https://discord.gg/S36vz4jD98

Music used: "Olav Trygvason", recorded by GULDBERGS AKADEMISKE KOR (https://archive.org/details/78_olav-trygvason_guldbergs-akademiske-kor-f-a-reissiger-arild-sandvold_gbia7026768b)

Thanks to the efforts of Alfred the Great and his descendants, England enters the new millennium as united kingdom. However, trouble is brewing: the Vikings have returned, and their leader, Sweyn Forkbeard, has designs on the English throne. What follows is a bloody tale of intrigue, with more mysterious deaths than a series of The Traitors. Expect an unready king, people marrying their dead enemies' wives, and the rise of a newly-minted dynasty that you might have heard of: the Godwinsons.

We are literally so back!! And this time with our longest series yet!! This is part 1 of 6(?) of our Norman conquest series and this part is all about ENGLAND!! More specifically, the crazy cats who invented it. Many thanks to our dear friend Joe Mason for joining us again.

Join the official WMG discord!

https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23

Well, we finally made it: The Definitive Podcast (jodcast?) on medieval Jewish culture.

After the destruction of the Second Temple, Jews were scattered across Europe, the Middle East and North Africa. Despite often-brutal repression, many Jews thrived, creating new communities, cultural expressions, and even languages. Despite marginalisation, Jewish women were also key to this evolution, enthusiastically contributing to spiritual and cultural life in dynamic ways. And even though they were a minority almost everywhere, some Jews rose to become major political leaders.

Programming note: WMG will be going on hiatus until the end of Summer. But never fear! We will be back, with "The Norman Conquests" - a globetrotting adventure from Ireland to Palestine, featuring a cast of colourful characters including proud warrior-kings, marauding pirates, and a fearsome empress. Oh, and former frog Joe Mason will be there. Don't say we don't spoil you.

In the meantime, why not join the WMG Discord community, a community of lovely people who love chatting about history. https://discord.gg/ZwHz5JDKky

Taggart voice There's been a murder!

Medieval life was full of murders! People were getting knifed all the time mate. But who was responsible for sorting the guilty from the innocent? What do God and intimate social knowledge have to do with it? And is this all a thinly-veiled excuse for Aran to do his incredible Poirot impression?

For more information, see the University of Cambridge's Medieval Murder Maps:

https://medievalmurdermap.co.uk/

Join the official WMG Discord server!! https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23

We've got a lovely two-parter lined up for you guys and it's all about the history of the English language during the Middle Ages! Join us as we follow English from its humble origins as a collection of Germanic dialects spoken by a bunch of illiterate, trousers-wearing mudmen from in 400AD to a real language spoken by relatively normal people who have things like books and kings and their own country, a quirky little place called "England."

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• The University of Nottingham's interactive Key to English Place Names website http://kepn.nottingham.ac.uk/#
• English translations of almost 80% of all extant Anglo-Saxon poetry, courtesy of Dr Ophelia Hostetter of Rutgers University https://oldenglishpoetry.camden.rutgers.edu/
• Gildas' "On the Ruin and Conquest of Britain," translated into English by Bert Olton: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/1949

Join the official WMG Discord server!! https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23

Yarrrrrrrr!!!!!! Where's me BOOTY?!

We all love stories about pirates, whether they're plundering Treasure Islands, fighting an octopus man, or stealing Tom Hanks' job. But did you know that the Middle Ages had pirates? They did! And they were just as swashbuckling, mercenary and unhinged as their later successors.

Set sail with Olivia and Aran on the good ship Podcasting, as they set out to find the secret of medieval piracy! Along the way, they'll meet a vengeful MILF, a queerbaiting sorcerer, and hundreds of venomous snakes.

Further reading:

The Anatomy of Medieval Piracy: https://www.jstor.org/stable/pdf/10.1163/j.ctv4cbhhw.7.pdf?refreqid=fastly-default%3A595730f17b4d474b00163f8ee44c264c&ab_segments=0%2Fbasic_search_gsv2%2Fcontrol&initiator=search-results&acceptTC=1

Identity in the Medieval Mediterranean World of Merchants and Pirates https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.5325/mediterraneanstu.20.2.0129?read-now=1&seq=13#page_scan_tab_contents

The Romance of Eustace the Monk

Gather round, rockhounds! It's time to journey even further into the past than usual by taking a look at fossils through medieval eyes. Did dragon myths come from dinosaur bones? Did cyclops myths come from elephant bones? Can rocks be Jewish? All these questions and more, answered.....

For more on some of what we discuss, check out:

• Lapis Judaicus or the Jews' stone: The folklore of fossil echinoid spines by Christopher Duffin https://www.researchgate.net/publication/248606245_Lapis_Judaicus_or_the_Jews%27_stone_The_folklore_of_fossil_echinoid_spines
• Unicorns, dragons, monsters and giants: palaeoart before palaeontology by Mark P. Witton http://markwitton-com.blogspot.com/2018/04/unicorns-dragons-monsters-and-giants.html
• Walking on Water: Cosmic Floors in Antiquity and the Middle Ages by Fabio Barry

Join the official WMG Discord server!! https://discord.gg/6GzvXdWX23

And how Hitler made them illegal!