Explore every episode of the podcast We Gotta Thing - Exploring Non-Monogamy
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Episode 165: Judgment, Insecurity and Curiosity in the Lifestyle | 31 Oct 2026 | 00:57:55 | |
In this episode with Meshai from Expansive Connection we discuss something we think just about everyone in the lifestyle has experienced at some point: the fear of being judged. The reality is, we all make judgments about people. It's just part of being human. But sometimes those judgments say more about our own insecurities than they do about the people we're judging. One of the things we love about the lifestyle is that it gives us so many opportunities to be curious, not just about other people, but about ourselves. We're constantly navigating new experiences, meeting different people, and sometimes stepping outside our comfort zones. And when feelings like insecurity, jealousy, or fear of rejection show up, we have a choice. We can let those feelings drive our reactions, or we can get curious about where they're coming from. The biggest takeaway from this conversation is that when we spend less time judging and more time trying to understand, we open ourselves up to better connections, stronger relationships, and a whole lot of personal growth. Learn more about Expansive Connection Coaching Want to try the We Gotta Thing Community? Message Mr Jones here and request a promo code! Or visit the We Gotta Thing website | |||
| Episode 164: Ask Us Anything- Vol. 1 | 14 Oct 2026 | 01:09:39 | |
Over the years, we've received countless questions and podcast topic suggestions from listeners, but not every question lends itself to an entire episode. That's one reason we started hosting our weekly Ask Us Anything Friday livestreams in the We Gotta Thing community. Now we're bringing that same open, honest, and sometimes unpredictable conversation to the podcast! In this episode, we tackle some of your most frequently asked questions. We explore Mrs. Jones's attraction to women, whether we've ever broken a hard-and-fast lifestyle rule and regretted it, and how we approach conversations when meeting new couples. We also discuss navigating unexpected anxiety during play and the delicate question of whether to share our non-monogamous lifestyle with close friends who are curious about the secret to our sexual happiness. We talk about whether a previously declared "pants-on" friendship can evolve back into a sexual connection, what might prompt that change, and how to navigate it together. We also share our favorite ways to gracefully escape a conversation, whether we prefer planning a play date around a specific fantasy or letting things unfold organically, and how our perspectives on aging and attraction have evolved since we first explored the subject back in 2019. As always, our goal isn't to provide a one-size-fits-all answer, but to share what we've learned along our journey and encourage you to think about what works best in your own relationship. And who knows? If you enjoy this format, Ask Us Anything might just become a regular part of the podcast! | |||
| Episode 163: Managing Menopause in the Lifestyle | 30 Sep 2026 | 01:07:21 | |
In this episode with Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching we talk about how Menopause has a way of touching just about everything—and your relationship definitely doesn't get a pass. As estrogen declines, the instinct to take care of everyone, smooth the edges, keep the peace, and put other people's needs ahead of our own can start to change. Sometimes dramatically. Suddenly there's a desire for more space, clearer boundaries, less caretaking, and maybe even a little "I've got no more fucks to give." That can be confusing and scary for both partners, especially when it feels like the rules of the relationship are changing without anyone agreeing to change them. But maybe menopause isn't breaking anything. Maybe it's shining a very bright light on the places where we've compromised ourselves, become too dependent on one another, or stopped showing up authentically. And if that sounds familiar to those of us practicing ENM, it should. Non-monogamy has a funny way of exposing the fault lines in a relationship, and menopause can do exactly the same thing. The question becomes what we do once we see them. Instead of asking, "How do I get my wife—or my old relationship—back?" maybe we get curious about what this transition is trying to teach us. It's an opportunity for both partners to listen differently, own their stuff, create some intentional space, renegotiate expectations, and figure out who they want to be together in this next chapter. The good news is that those of us who've navigated an ENM journey may already have some of the tools. Because the goal isn't to survive menopause and somehow get everything back to the way it was. It's to build the relationship we didn't know was possible. Wise Power by Pope and Wurlitzer- Discover the Liberating Power of Menopause to Awaken Authority, Purpose and Belonging Join the We Gotta Thing Community | |||
| Episode 162: Where Non-monogamy Intersects with Real Life | 09 Sep 2026 | 01:08:07 | |
Non-monogamy can be about much more than sex with other people. For us, it has enriched our relationship, created meaningful friendships, and changed the way we move through everyday life. In this episode, we explore how the lessons we've learned through ethical non-monogamy show up in our relationships with family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and even when meeting strangers. We discuss the important distinction between being honest about who you are as a couple and oversharing the private details of your sex life. We've learned how to define our relationship on our own terms rather than allowing family, friends, religion, age, or societal expectations to define it for us. Mentioned in this episode: Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months! Book your Desire Resorts trip here Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: | |||
| Episode 161: How Feelings Make Us Feel | 29 Aug 2026 | 01:28:45 | |
Emotions are having a moment—and they're affecting everything from our broader culture to our most intimate relationships. In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection joins us to explore how fear of uncomfortable feelings, emotional manipulation, codependency, and unregulated emotional expression can influence our decisions and cause harm. These challenges can become even more intense in ethical non-monogamy, where jealousy, insecurity, vulnerability, and uncertainty often bring powerful emotions to the surface. Navigating these adult relationships successfully requires an equally mature ability to understand and manage what we feel. In this episode we'll examine how emotions are created in the brain, why they are essential, and how "affective realism" can cause us to mistake what we feel for what is objectively true. Kel also shares practical ways to strengthen emotional intelligence and emotional fitness—including noticing and naming feelings, pausing before reacting, separating feelings from facts, and communicating more effectively. Uncomfortable emotions are inevitable, but avoiding them means missing valuable opportunities for growth, deeper self-awareness, and stronger relationships. Mentioned in this episode: Join the We Gotta Thing Community | |||
| Episode 160: More Than Monogamy Documentary- An Interview with the Creators | 12 Aug 2026 | 01:07:57 | |
Sexuality is complex. Sexuality is diverse. Sexuality is More Than Monogamy. More Than Monogamy is a feature-length documentary film about non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, swinging, kink, and ethical non-monogamy. The film explores the many relationship structures that exist beyond traditional monogamy, often referred to collectively as "The Lifestyle." Combining real-life experiences with expert insight, this sexuality and relationships documentary is designed to be both educational and entertaining, offering clear explanations of modern relationship dynamics. The film examines why non-monogamous relationships can be deeply fulfilling for some individuals and couples—while also acknowledging why they may not be the right fit for everyone. More Than Monogamy features in-depth interviews with leading experts in human sexuality, relationship psychology, sex education, and intimacy, including:
Through honest conversations and accessible storytelling, the film breaks down common myths surrounding polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, kink, and open relationships, while encouraging viewers to think critically about love, commitment, communication, and consent. Whether you are curious about non-monogamy, already part of the lifestyle, or simply interested in learning more about modern relationships and sexuality, More Than Monogamy serves as an informative, respectful, and judgment-free introduction. The Film https://www.morethanmonogamy.com/ Our Social media can be found on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok @morethanmonogamyfilm Dillon's work can be found here https://www.allthebirdsllc.com/ and his socials are @all.the.birds.film Spark Erotic Work can be found here https://sparkerotic.com https://urvashiseye.comContact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months! Book your Desire Resorts trip here Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: | |||
| Episode 159: So You Think You Want to Kink? | 31 Jul 2026 | 01:26:34 | |
Kink is often misunderstood, wrapped in myths, stereotypes, and cultural taboos that obscure what it's really about. In this episode, we unpack what kink is—and just as importantly, what it isn't. From broad definitions of BDSM and the idea that kink is simply "whatever is taboo for you," we explore why modern media often gets it wrong by focusing on shock value while overlooking the foundations of communication, consent, negotiation, safety, and aftercare. We'll also challenge common misconceptions that kink is abusive, anti-feminist, or only about pain. Theresa from Expansive Connection will help us break down the different elements of BDSM and explain how many forms of play overlap, emphasizing that the labels matter far less than the connection and experience they create. Whether you're simply curious or already exploring, understanding the diversity of kink opens the door to seeing it through a much more informed and compassionate lens. Most importantly, we'll discuss why so many couples and consensually non-monogamous relationships find value in exploring kink. Join us as we explore how embracing curiosity and authenticity can deepen intimacy, strengthen connection, and remind us that desire isn't something to fear—it's an opportunity to grow together. Below are resources that referenced during this podcast: - The Erotic Blueprints, Miss Jaiya: https://missjaiya.com/ - Midori: www.planetmidori.com - NCSF (National Coalition for Sexual Freedom): https://ncsfreedom.org/ - NOW (National Organization for Women): https://now.org/ - Journal of Sexual Medicine 2008 study "Demographic and Psychosocial Features of Participants in BDSM": https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.00795.x - Journal of Homosexuality 2006 study "Understanding Sadomasochism: An Empirical Examination of Four Perspectives": https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J082v50n02_07 | |||
| Episode 158: Taking One for the Team | 22 Jul 2026 | 01:06:40 | |
The phrase "taking one for the team" is often treated as a hard boundary in ethical non-monogamy, but we think the reality is far more nuanced. For us, attraction is rarely determined by physical appearance alone. Decisions about whether to pursue a connection are influenced by a combination of factors including chemistry, personality, intelligence, behavior, relationship dynamics, safety, sobriety, and sometimes that unexplainable "ick" factor. We also discuss whether there are times when "taking one for the team" can actually be a positive experience. When you feel emotionally and physically safe, genuinely enjoy someone's company, and trust a couple you've come to know, a lack of immediate physical attraction or chemistry doesn't necessarily have to end the conversation. By keeping an open mind, couples may discover rewarding experiences and relationships they otherwise would have overlooked. Ultimately, deciding whether to play should always be a mutual decision made without pressure, guilt, or obligation—and any "no" should be accepted graciously and without lingering consequences. We believe there is a spectrum between holding out for the elusive perfect four-way connection and feeling obligated to "take one for the team." Mentioned in this episode: Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months! Strictly Anonymous podcast with Mr Jones cancer story Book your Desire Resorts trip here Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: More Than Monogamy documentary | |||
| Episode 157: Erotic Compatibility and Non-Monogamy | 24 Jun 2026 | 01:33:45 | |
What if the key to greater pleasure, connection, and fulfillment is understanding your unique erotic wiring? In this episode, we explore the Erotic Blueprints™, a framework developed by somatic sexologist Jaiya that helps explain the different ways people experience desire, arousal, and intimacy. We unpack the five Erotic Blueprints—Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter—and explore how each type experiences pleasure differently. We also share how this framework has become a valuable tool for relationships and individuals. Time and again, we've watched people experience powerful "aha" moments as they discover why certain experiences excite them, why others don't, and where misunderstandings with partners may be coming from. Understanding your blueprint can remove shame, increase self-awareness, and provide a new language for discussing desire, boundaries, and pleasure. We also share our own blueprint profiles and discuss how different types can learn to better understand and connect with one another. Finally, we explore how Erotic Blueprints can enrich experiences within ethical non-monogamy and the lifestyle. The goal isn't to put yourself in a box, but to better understand your erotic "home" while remaining curious about other ways of experiencing pleasure. By learning each other's unique wiring, couples can expand their erotic vocabulary, deepen connection, and create more meaningful experiences together. Mentioned in this episode: Expansive Connection Coaching Events The Erotic Blueprint with Miss Jaiya Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months! Book your Desire Resorts trip here Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Kasidie and SDC Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: | |||
| Episode 156: Opening the Circle | 26 May 2026 | 01:35:49 | |
In this episode, Dr Mitch from Expansive Connection joins us as we explore the powerful idea of "Opening the Circle" — the human need to feel welcomed, included, and connected. We talk about how the first question most people ask when entering any new environment isn't "What's going on here?" but "Do I belong here?" From friendships to community to ethical non-monogamy, creating spaces where people feel seen and valued can change lives. We also share personal stories from our own journey in the lifestyle and the people who intentionally "opened the circle" for us through kindness, mentorship, hospitality, and connection. Along the way, we reflect on some of the challenges that can prevent true inclusion — competitiveness, scarcity mentality, ageism, and prioritizing physical connection over relational connection. Finally, we discuss practical ways to "open the circle" in everyday life: noticing those on the margins, creating emotional safety, welcoming newcomers, and embracing people who are different from us. Whether in friendships, relationships, or community spaces, meaningful connection starts when someone chooses to make room for "one more person." We hope this conversation inspires you to think about who in your world may simply need an invitation, a kind word, or a reminder that they belong! Mentioned in this episode: Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months! Book your Desire Resorts trip here Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Kasidie and SDC Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: | |||
| Episode 155: Redefining the Swinging Lifestyle | 18 May 2026 | 01:07:42 | |
In this episode we are reframing the traditional concept of "swinging" by moving away from labels that feel intimidating or misleading and instead embracing the broader concept of ethical non-monogamy. While the term "swinger" often implies casual sex with others and the word "lifestyle" is vague and overused, ethical non-monogamy better captures what you actually explore: intentional relationships with open boundaries that prioritize your primary partnership while allowing varying levels of intimacy with others. This shift reflects how modern relationships are evolving and becoming more open and mainstream. By reframing the conversation, this episode aims to make the space more welcoming, less stigmatized, and easier for people to explore, helping you expand your boundaries and realize you're not alone. Ultimately, the message is that this approach creates room for people to discover and define their own version of connection—"their thing." Mentioned in this episode: Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months! Book your Desire Resorts trip here Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Kasidie and SDC | |||
| Episode 154: Why Comparison is the Thief of Joy | 01 May 2026 | 01:12:47 | |
In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection discusses the pervasive issue of comparison, its roots in human evolution, and practical tools to manage it. The conversation explores how comparison impacts self-esteem, relationships, and the lifestyle, offering actionable strategies to foster self-acceptance and joy. Key Topics
Mentioned in this episode: Join the We Gotta Thing Community
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| Episode 153: Your Insecurity is Your Issue | 16 Apr 2026 | 01:01:07 | |
We've talked about jealousy, we've talked about body image. We've discussed learning to flirt and being corageous in the lifestyle. But beneath the surface we all have insecurities about ourselves at the root of all these things! In this episode we share what we beleive are the causes of our insecurities, how they manifest themselves in our lifestlye journey and share tools to help overcome them to find freedom in being yourself and enjoying others! Mentioned in this episode: Luxe Music Studio- Playtime on Spotify (Music used with Permission) Contact us for a promo code to try our WGT Community Join our WGT Community Here is some background on the four Luxe Music Studio songs previewed during this episode (with permission): "I Like to Share": We wanted a song that had an anthem-like chorus that we could imagine being played at lifestyle clubs, events and resorts. While the song focuses on a FFM experience, the theme stands on its own as a celebration of trust, non-jealousy and truly enjoying seeing your partner experience pleasure with others. I find it especially arousing, being bisexual, seeing a woman I find sexy and attractive having sexual fun with my husband. I sometimes like to direct the action so this song celebrates that aspect as well. "Dressed to Undress": We wrote this song to simply celebrate dressing up in sexy attire for the explicit purpose of taking it off during playtime experiences. We love that most of the clubs have themed nights where I can explore all types of sexy outfits for the sole purpose of feeling erotic and arousing others. We love the Halloween parties especially and still need to write a fun song about a swinger Halloween party. "Playtime": This is a track where we decided to scale back on the innuendos and get straight to the point: Celebrating pure, hedonistic, hardcore sex of all types. No romance, just chasing lust and pleasure without apology. The rhythm, speed, vibe and intensity of the track reinforces this theme. "Your Pleasure is Mine": A celebration of same room, full swap swinging. We really wanted to emphasize the point where a swinging couple with maturity, trust, and experience, can truly savor and enjoy the pleasure of watching your lover experience sex with another person while you do the same. A place where we think all swinging couples strive to be, one built on trust, open communication, honesty, clear boundaries, and respect. | |||
| Episode 152: Managing Anxiety in the Lifestyle | 01 Apr 2026 | 00:53:54 | |
There are no shortage of lifestyle sitiuations that will cause us some anxiety! Visiting a club for the first time, going on a first date, being rejected by others, wondering if our partner will 'find someone better,' performance issue worries....and so on. What is actually going on in our brains when we feel anxious or depressed? How can we recognize what's really happening and deal with it in a healthy way? Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we help to address some of these very common concerns. Spoiler Alert: You are not alone in dealing with these feelings and emotions! | |||
| Episode 151: The Resort- A Gateway to Ethical Non-Monogamy | 19 Mar 2026 | 01:00:13 | |
In this episode we review our trip to 'The Resort' which was first introduced by George in episode 137. The Resort is a new opportunity to step into ethical non-monogamy in a new format and market. This property is set on the cliffs of western Jamaica and is absolutely stunning! The views, the service, the food, the entertainment, the sensual vibe and of course the sexy people were all amazing! Spoiler alert: you won't be disappointed.... Mentioned in this episode: Music by Pornoson (used with permission) The Free We Gotta Thing Info Hub Contact Mr Jones for a WGT community promo code | |||
| Episode 150: Is the Lifestyle Addictive? | 05 Mar 2026 | 01:12:41 | |
Can the lifestyle become an addiction? Well, it can if we don't recognize what's going on in our brains. In this episode with Catherine from Expansive Connection, we break down the key components at play including New Relationship Energy (NRE), Novelty, Desensation, the 'Pleasure Paradox' and how all of this shows up in our relationships. Of course we also discuss ways to recognize and respond when armed with this new knowledge! Discussed in this episode: The Hidden Brain Podcast: The Paradox of Pleasure The Hidden Brain Podcast: The Path to Enough | |||
| Episode 149: How to Be a Power Couple in the Lifestyle | 11 Feb 2026 | 01:10:05 | |
What does it take to be 'successful' as a couple in the world of non-monogamy? In this episode we discuss waht we believe to be the four most important characteristics of a power couple in the lifestyle:
Important Links: Contact Mr Jones to request a WGT community trial discount promo code Get access to the free We Gotta Thing Information Hub collection of resources Learn how to be successful as a single guy in the lifestyle Learn how to talk to your partner about non-monogamy STD Hero testing kits discount | |||
| Episode 148: Reframing Christian Faith and the Lifestyle | 28 Jan 2026 | 01:24:57 | |
Do you struggle with your understanding of how non-monogamy reconciles with a life of faith? Join us for a thought provoking conversation with Dr Mitch G, the newest member of the Expansive Connection coaching team. His training, experience, and specialization in religion and theology provides a helpful framework and understanding for those with religious backgrounds who find themselves struggling with their belief systems or plagued by shame, guilt, and fear over what they've been taught or once believed. Dr Mitch's Education and Certifications
Resources supporting this episode: Join the We Gotta Thing Community! Embracing Prodigals by John Sanders (Cascade Books, 2020) How the Bible Actually Works by Peter Enns, PhD (Harper One, 2019) Inspired by Rachel Held Evans (Nelson Books, 2018) Better Ways to Read the Bible by Zack W. Lambert (Brazos Press, 2025) "Why You Don't Want a Biblical Marriage" with Jennifer Bird, PhD (Podcast - The New Evangelicals) Marriage in the Bible - What Do the Texts Say? by Jennifer G. Bird, PhD (Rowman & Littlefield, 2023) Sex, God & the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy by Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD (Routledge, 2017) Let's Talk About Sex - Challenging the Church's Stance on Sexual Morality by Glen Farell (Love Done Right, 2024) or their podcast "But is it Biblical" with Glen & Lydia Farell Shameless - A Sexual Reformation by Nadia Bolz-Weber (Convergent, 2019) Beyond Shame - Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms by Matthias Roberts (Fortress Press, 2020) The Wisdom of Your Body - Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection through Embodied Living by Hillary McBride, PhD (Brazos Press, 2021) NG Podcast - "Reconciling Religion & Non-monogamy" 9/10/2024 Casual Swinger Podcast - "Shame on you! - Love God" 12/16/2019
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| Episode 147: Safer Sex with STD Hero | 16 Jan 2026 | 01:29:45 | |
One of the most common concerns for those in the lifestyle or considering non-monogamy is the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or disease. We invited Alan Brock, CEO, and Dr William Budd, Scientific Advisor from Better Life Sciences and STD Hero testing to discuss the realities, myths, modern testing practices and services available today. We believe awareness and education along with affordable and accessible testing services comprise the most important aspects to create the best opportunity for safer sex for all in today's world. Mentioned in this episode: Better Life Science and STD Hero Testing STD Hero testing kits discount Free We Gotta Thing Information Hub Access Contact Mr Jones to request a WGT community trial discount promo code | |||
| Episode 146: How Relationships Change Over Time | 30 Dec 2025 | 01:15:45 | |
We all know that all relationships, monogamous and non-monogamous, will change over time. Many of those changes will lead to the relationship ending. But does it have to end? Why can't the dynamics of a relationship change while preserving the friendship through it's next phase? Kel from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us to discuss how to navigate these changes in a way that can preserve and often grow the relationship! | |||
| Episode 145: Ask Us (And Our Friends) Anything | 16 Dec 2025 | 01:23:11 | |
This 'ask us anything' episode was recorded live at our 9th annual group trip to Desire Pearl. Not only did we answer questions but our friends helped us out by contributing as well. Use Promo Code: WGT100 to receive $100 off our annual WGT premium community membership between now and January 4, 2026. | |||
| Episode 144: Lifestyle Coaching in the Aftermath of Loss | 26 Nov 2025 | 01:05:00 | |
As a follow up to our episode 142, we hear from Catherine about how the ending of her marriage is affecting her coaching business at Expansive Connection. Will her clients still trust her as a coach? Has this loss made her job more difficult when discussing non-monogamy with her clients? Does she feel like a bit of an imposter? Will this experience make her a better coach? Would you see a coach who has lost her marriage after becoming non-monogamous? Listen in to find out! | |||
| Episode 143: Swinging & Polyamory- Are We More Alike than We Think? | 12 Nov 2025 | 01:29:39 | |
We are joined by Dedeker, Emily and Jase from the Multiamory* podcast to discuss the similarities and differences between the swinging lifestyle and polyamory! We also talk about what exactly New Relationship Energy (NRE) is and how we can recognize and navigate those strong feelings and emotions when they hit you or someone you love. *Multiamory centers multiple forms of love- everything from monogamy to nonmonogamy, casual dating to queerplatoni partnerships, married couples living separately to those who are single by choice, and everything in between. | |||
| Episode 142: Catherine's Story- "My Marriage Fell Apart" | 28 Oct 2025 | 01:39:52 | |
This episode gets very real and very personal. Catherine, from Expansive Connection Relationship Coaching, tells her story of how her marriage fell apart while engaged in a non-monogamous relationship with her husband. Many couples fear this type of loss when considering and moving into and through non-monogamy. Catherine courageously shares her story so that others may benefit and be fully prepared for making such an important relationship decision. We Gotta Thing Episode 41- A Licensed Counselor Breaks Down Jealousy Making Polyamory Work Episode- Coming Out to Your Kids Normalizing Non Monogamy- Catherine & Ray Jen Hatmaker- Awake WGT Single Guys Only Space | |||
| Episode 141: What Newbies Need to Know and Veterans Need to Remember | 25 Sep 2025 | 01:05:24 | |
Join us and Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching as we discuss the six most important things those new to the lifestyle need to know and us veterans of the lifestyle need always to remember:
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| Episode 140: Back in the Swing of Things | 11 Sep 2025 | 01:02:55 | |
None of us are immune from having 'real life' issues disrupt our relationship or our current life plans and goals. Health issues, family responsibilities, career changes and relocations are just a few of the things that we can expect to encounter in life that will change our priorities. After just over a year of not playing with others in the lifestyle we are happy to announce we are back in the game! Listen in to learn why we stopped, what we had to work through as a couple, what we learned and how we decided to reengage with others at this time. Mentioned this episode: WGT Quarterly Membership Promo Code: WGT930 (expires September 30, 2025) 2 + 2 Swingers Club in Athens, Greece WGT Desire Pearl Event- November 15-22, 2025 | |||
| Episode 139: Our Enneagram Coaching Session | 27 Aug 2025 | 01:16:12 | |
In episode 136 Kel, from Expansive Connection Coaching explained all nine Enneagram personality types and motivations. Listen in on this real-time coaching session as Kel reveals the Enneagram results of Mr & Mrs Jones and helps them understand their types and how to better value and understand each other as life partners. Episode Resources: Books The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso; Russ Hudson The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron; Suzanne Stabile Podcast Series Websites Non-monogamy Coaching | |||
| Episode 138: Describing the Lifestyle- Respectful, Pervy, Cool-Ass People | 14 Aug 2025 | 01:07:44 | |
When we hear the word 'swinger' or 'lifestyle' the first time we may think of key parties, sleezy sex clubs, orgies with strangers and lots of perverted people who will have sex with anyone. With how non-monogamy is portrayed in some movies and television shows it's not surprising that many of us have this perception! During our most recent trip to Desire Riviera Maya we asked the couples to tell us how they would describe the world of non-monogamy to others and how that description has changed from their pre-lifestyle perceptions. | |||
| Episode 137: 'The Resort'- A New Concept for Lifestyle Vacationers | 31 Jul 2025 | 01:16:36 | |
Join us as we chat with the founder of a brand new lifestyle vacation spot in Jamaica- 'The Resort.' This upscale venue gives lifestyle travelers an additional and much needed option for a sexy vacation as ethical non-monogamy becomes more mainstream around the world. Visit their website for more details and information about membership and booking! | |||
| Episode 136: The Enneagram- Know Your Number! | 16 Jul 2025 | 01:25:44 | |
Join us as Kel from Expansive Connection explains the Enneagram system which offers numerous benefits for personal and professional development by providing insights into motivations, behaviors, and relationships. It helps individuals understand their core personality type, strengths, weaknesses, and how they interact with others. This understanding can lead to improved self-awareness, better communication, stronger relationships, and a better connection with others in the lifestyle! Episode Resources: Books The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso; Russ Hudson The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron; Suzanne Stabile Podcast Series Websites Non-monogamy Coaching
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| Episode 135: Origin Story- Going Deeper with Kurt & Vicki | 09 Jul 2025 | 01:04:35 | |
This 'Origin Story' format episode features our friends Kurt & Vicki and highlights another unique journey into and through non-monogamy. Perhaps their story of working through issues will resonate with those who struggle with things from 'the past' and how previous life experiences can interfere with fully enjoying the lifestyle. Mentioned in this episode: | |||
| Episode 134: Facing the "What-ifs" Fears of Non-monogamy | 27 Jun 2025 | 01:18:51 | |
Are you considering trying non-monogamy or perhaps learning how to navigate the swinging lifestyle environment? Are you paralyzed by the 'what-ifs?' What if my partner falls in love with someone else? What if I get jealous? What if no one is attracted to me? What if we are outed at swingers? You are not alone! Jason from Expansive Connection joins Mr & Mrs Jones to discuss how to better understand and work through these common 'what-if' fears shared by but also overcome by many. | |||
| Episode 133: 10 Attributes of Successful Swingers | 20 Jun 2025 | 01:03:58 | |
So you think you've got what it takes to be 'successful' in the swinging lifestyle? From our 11 years of experience, we share what we believe to be the most important attributes a person or couple must have to fully enjoy all the benefits of non-monogamy. We also announce the official opening of a new lifestyle resort in Jamaica simply called The Resort (and share a couple of sexy snaphots). Care to join us? | |||
| Episode 132: Our Differences Make Us Better | 28 May 2025 | 01:14:34 | |
Why do we usually react to the word 'different' as something negative? Our differences can help us to learn more about ourselves which can lead to individual growth as well as strengthen our relationships. Kel from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us this episode to help us understand how and why we react to something different and gives us tools to help explore them and turn those differences into opportunities for growth! | |||
| Episode 131: Finding Your Tribe in the We Gotta Thing Community | 14 May 2025 | 01:32:19 | |
What makes the WGT community unique? We are not a dating site. We are not like a Facebook group. Nor are we similar to a Discord server, a Slack channel, a Zoom meeting or a WhatsApp conversation. What are we then? We are a community full of real people in real relationships who are looking to explore, learn, share and interact with others in a safe, non-judgmental and secure virtual environment. What will you gain in one year by joining us? Mastered Communication – You'll have developed unshakable confidence in open and honest conversations, leading to more trust, deeper intimacy, and fewer misunderstandings with your partner. Your relationship will be stronger, your connections deeper, and your confidence stronger than ever. Care to join us? Learn more about the We Gotta Thing community experience here!
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| Episode 130: All About 'Swolly' Relationships | 24 Apr 2025 | 01:19:16 | |
Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us to help define that 'squishy' term that is a result of some combination of 'swinging' and 'polyamory.' She then discusses pro's and con's of what to expect when creating your own brand of 'swolly' and then shares tips on how to successfully communicate and navigate along the way. Resources mentioned during this episode: Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast- The New Monogamy with Dr. Tammy Nelson The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Quiz
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| Episode 129: Taming the Voices Inside My Head | 21 Mar 2025 | 01:18:49 | |
You're awake again at 3:00am. You can't go back to sleep. You calculate how much sleep you'll have if you go back to sleep right now. Then, while staring at the ceiling, a voice inside your head decides to make up a (absolutely truthful and believable) story about a missed opportunity with another couple and why they aren't responding to your messages to meet again.... Sound familiar? In this episode Meshai from Expansive Connection helps us to understand where that voice is coming from, how to recognize the lack of logic in that voice and how to redirect the conversation to something more logical and accurate. Also, you are not the only one experiencing these very convincing voices! Learn more about Expansive Connection coaching services on their website and while you're there be sure to subscribe to their newsletter! | |||
| Episode 128: Enough With the Pineapples! How to Make Connections in the Wild | 17 Feb 2025 | 01:09:54 | |
We are contantly bombarded with lifestyle symbols and the promises they bring of attracting lifestyle couples to us in our day-to-day lives! From upside down pineapples in the grocery store, to black rings on the right ring finger, to white rocks at the end of the driveway, to wearing jewelry that brings special powers. Some content creators, lifestyle businesses and marketers exploit our collective desire to stay anonymous while at the same time magically attracting others into our secret lives with little or no effort at all. In this episode we discuss how to both pick-up on a send those sexy vibes in ways that require a bit of work on our part but often lead to meaningful connections with others regardless of the setting. It's all about being noticeable and creating enough curiousity and intrigue to draw others in and then knowing how to engage and progress in a natural way. | |||
| Episode 127: Trust- What It Is Not | 29 Jan 2025 | 01:09:38 | |
What is trust not? Trust is not a feeling that someone else creates in us with their actions. Some of us think we can trust people only when they are doing what we want them to do so we don't feel uncomfortable things we don't want to feel. Additionally, trust is not using other people as our emotional security blankets. Our brains love predictability and safety so when someone doesn't behave in the ways we want them to we can feel unsafe, or in others words, we may 'freak out' a bit! Kel from Expansive Connection joins Mr Jones this episode to help us understand what trust is, what trust is not, and how to work through what appear to be trust issues with your partner. Resources: Brene Brown Trust Talk The Gottmans on Trust UnFuck Your Brain- Trust | |||
| Episode 126: The Many Flavors of Jealousy | 31 Dec 2024 | 01:19:12 | |
Fearing or experiencing jealousy is one of the biggest reasons couples either don't try the lifestyle or don't last in the lifestyle. Why is that? It's more complex than we realize! Join us as Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching helps us to understand the many flavors of jealousy to include envy, comparison, performance insecurities, fear of abandonment and many more. Download the complete list of the flavors of jealousy here! | |||
| Episode 125: A Live Celebration of 10 Years Podcasting! | 11 Dec 2024 | 01:36:17 | |
Please join us in celebrating 10 years recording the We Gotta Thing podcast! This is a very special episode recorded live with a group of our closest friends at the Desire Pearl resort. We thank all of our listeners and community members for the steadfast support and look forward to recording many more episodes in the years to come! Cheers! | |||
| Episode 124: Handling Rejection in the Lifestyle | 30 Nov 2024 | 01:05:18 | |
Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we dive into the topic of being rejected in the lifestyle. We all experience the negative emotions when rejected by others and Meshai helps us to understand why we feel this way and how to process and respond to these feelings. | |||
| Episode 123: The Many Meanings of 'Connection' in the Lifestyle | 07 Nov 2024 | 01:25:19 | |
Why do we want to connect with others? What are some ways we connect with others? What types of connections may we experience? How do we stay connected? What happens if we become disconnected with others? We explore possible answers to these questions to better prepare ourselves for what we may face as we explore the lifestyle and engage with others. | |||
| Episode 122: Non-monogamy Takes Work- How Much Are You Willing to Invest? | 29 Oct 2024 | 01:20:57 | |
Jason from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us this month to discuss the 'non-quantifiable' work involved in exploring non-monogamy. Based on our WGT episode 100 in which we discuss the quantifiable work, we now dig in to consider things like being intentional, being present, staying engaged, investing ourselves and our time and much more. | |||
| Episode 121: Origin Stories- Mark and Beth Canuck | 04 Oct 2024 | 01:38:54 | |
Listen in as our friends Mark and Beth share their unique journey into and exploration of non-monogamy! We also review our Virgin Cruise out of Barcelona and discuss our first local lifestyle meet and greet since our big move south. | |||
| Episode 120: The Benefits and Challenges of Non-monogamy with Expansive Connection | 16 Sep 2024 | 01:18:48 | |
Kel from Expansive Connection coaching joins us to discuss some of the benefits and challenges one may encounter when choosing to explore the non-monogamous lifestyle. Kel shares from her perspective of being a certified relationship coach and also from her experience being non-monogamous with her partner. Resources mentioned: We Gotta Thing podcast episode 33: "How the Lifestyle Strengthens our Relationship" We Gotta Thing podcast episode 41: "A Licensed Counselor (and swinger) Breaks Down Jealousy" Sex and Psychology by Justin Lehmiller- podcast episode 215: "Dealing in Differences in Relationships" | |||
| Episode 119: The Value of Counseling in the Non-monogamous World | 21 Aug 2024 | 01:28:04 | |
Having experienced counseling ourselves over the past few months, we invite Catherine from Expansive Connection to talk with us about how those in non-monogamous relationships benefit from getting guidance from professionals. Also, we share some exciting news about the future of the We Gotta Thing podcast! | |||
| Episode 118: Desire Riviera Maya and a Life Less Vanilla | 30 Jul 2024 | 01:17:29 | |
Listen in as we review the brand new "The Eden" section of Desire Riviera Maya! We also enlist the help of many of our friends in a live recording from the resort to share how they challenged themselves to become a bit 'less vanilla' during our recent group trip. | |||
| Episode 117: Non-Monogamy is an Adult Activity | 20 Jun 2024 | 01:14:51 | |
Most of us have mastered being 'adult-like' in all aspects of our lives. We are experienced at life. We are parents, spouses/partners, coaches, employees, teachers, leaders and friends. We've become accustomed to situations that require a mature and thoughtful response (most of the time anyway!). However, when engaged in non-monogamy we can experience new things and perhaps even some new feelings. We are sharing ourselves and our partners initmately with others. Our relationship is now at risk so the stakes are high. Situations will arise that invoke strong emotions in a way we may not have experienced before and it can be difficult not to act out in ways that may hurt others or push them away. In this episode Catherine, a licensed therapist from Expansive Connection Coaching talks about what is happening inside our brains and how we might be able to anticipate and respond 'like adults' when things don't go as we expect. | |||
| Episode 116: How Vulnerability Enhances Your Lifestyle Journey | 09 May 2024 | 01:06:28 | |
Being vulnerable is not easy and may not come natural for some, espcially when exploring the lifestyle. We tend to wall off our personal lives because we're worried about people knowing too much about us. We don't want to be known. We're here just to have some sexy fun, right? In this episode we talk about how being vulnerable has led to some amazing friendships as well as a lot of sexy fun with people who care. The more we share the more we gain confidence, become more attractive to others and most importantly discover our authentic selves! Join our community and download our brand new WGT app here! | |||