Explore every episode of the podcast WarHams - Narrative Declaration
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| WarHams – Ep. 1 – Meat Place Alpha | 29 Jun 2020 | 03:01:31 | |
A Rogue Trader, a Skitarii, an Inquisitorial acolyte, and a Fenrisian psyker get dumped onto Fathom 4 to recover a missing embassy and strong-arm a tithe. The locals are ratlings. The capital is run by something calling itself the Divine Lord of Fervor. And the only path forward runs through a farmhouse the villagers call Meat Place Alpha, where a xeno swarm is already chewing through the crops. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 2 – The Divine Lords | 13 Jul 2020 | 03:06:00 | |
Belba Creepfoot peels off her disguise and leads the party into the capital's underground, where three "Divine Lords" — Fervor, Science, and War — have been bleeding the planet into one hedonistic banquet for themselves. Toga-clad ratlings eat grapes on marble benches. Then the sky goes red, the cannibals come over the wall chanting eat the tall, become the tall, and the Roman holiday ends in a feeding frenzy. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 11 – ATTENTION CITIZENS! | 22 Nov 2020 | 02:57:31 | |
De Fuckerby's trail leads to an orbital prison ruled by a man who speaks about himself in the third person as "de Raoul" and just shot his own arbitrator for a clerical error. Reeb bluffs his way in as a fake de Fuckerby cousin, Pi Brain massacres maintenance crews between repairs, and the missing Magos is locked in solitary — bait in a trap that snaps shut with knockout gas and two dozen convicts armed with shivs. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 12 – Pi Hard | 06 Dec 2020 | 02:43:40 | |
The crew wakes up in cells. No weapons, no warrant of trade, no proof anyone is who they say they are — and the warden wants his family jewels back. Reeb befriends an ogryn who turns people into jam, Pi Brain crawls through the vents with a shank made of ductwork, and Ro Hector finally talks: de Fuckerby pulled xenos shards from the pyramid and hasn't been right since. Then Pi seizes the command tower, opens every door in the prison, and declares the whole station under Lemurian jurisdiction. Die hard. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 13 – Prison Changes a Man | 21 Dec 2020 | 02:38:46 | |
The cathedral is a broom closet. The preacher is a brainwashed Lemurian. The prison's luckiest man just got punched into his own funeral pyre. Chonkus clears the riot, Zedek recruits convicts with promises of barbecue, and Lorne emerges from solitary doing pull-ups with a bomb collar on his neck — then armored xenos rip a hole in reality, drag off the Supreme Judge, and kill the lights. The hunt begins. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 14 – Space Pirates | 18 Jan 2021 | 02:56:23 | |
Drukhari loose in the dark. Splinter rounds in every wall. A pirate shanty echoing down the corridors. The crew fights through a prison station with nothing but a Skitarii's face-mounted flashlight and stolen shotguns — until Lorne fires every ounce of prison muscle out of his body as a molten beam, Zedek runs a sword through the Sybarite and makes her watch her own ship explode, and a convict army led by an ogryn screaming "I'm top bitch now" crashes the party. Season one goes out swinging. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 15 – The Laughter of Thirsting Closets | 02 Feb 2021 | 02:56:45 | |
Season two. New mission, new system, same haunted wardrobe. The Inquisition is under review, a rival Rogue Trader dynasty already owns the territory, and the Primarchs are inbound — meaning one wrong move near Fimbria Majoris could unravel the entire Crusade. But first, the crew must survive Zedek's sentient walk-in closet, which dresses you in finery and strips you of sanity. Chonkis got promoted. The Dark Eldar got spaced. The closet remains undefeated. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 16 – Croikey | 28 Feb 2021 | 02:53:22 | |
Something is poisoning the water supply of Fimbria Majoris, and the cult that stole the evidence just slit the throat of the only official who knew. The crew splits up to investigate — Reeb dissects a crime scene, Zedek picks up a drug habit from sewer informants, and Pi Brain builds a cheese-grater torture device to interrogate bar patrons by the book. Then they go underground, where warp-migrating crocodilians are already waiting in the dark. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 17 – Death Cult | 15 Mar 2021 | 02:56:23 | |
Death cult assassins are minutes from poisoning an entire hive city's water supply. Pi Brain hacks a severed servitor head for moral support, Reeb kicks an assassin into a turbine, and Lorne's psychic crush holds the line while Zedek whiffs every finishing blow. They stop the poison. Then Lecoq's cruiser slides between them and the drifting Carillon -- claiming salvage rights. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 18 – Holiness is Cleanliness | 28 Mar 2021 | 02:54:23 | |
A rival Rogue Trader won't even let Zedek speak to her -- cruiser-class ships outrank manners. The crew talks their way aboard the derelict Carillon instead, where thousands of somethings skitter from the searchlights, a cherub caked in dried blood hums while smearing the mess around, and a possessed crewman whispers "we boarded" before detonating. Something much bigger hasn't noticed them yet. The clock is ticking, and the cleaning babies are following. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 19 – They Boarded | 12 Apr 2021 | 02:50:07 | |
Possessed crewmen flood every corridor. Cherub swarms choke the maglev tracks. Lorne's psychic scream pops every baby head in twenty-five meters -- buying just enough time to catch a tram, loot a pristine medbay, and suit up in dead missionary power armor. Then something strips Lorne bare, chains him to a chair, and whispers: "Your friends have given me much." Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 20 – The Throne Room | 30 Apr 2021 | 03:00:09 | |
Golden doors open to Hallelujah. A chaos spawn fused to the captain's throne reads their souls aloud and nearly kills the crew before Pi Brain's overcharged plasma gun blows it apart -- but the warp makes Lorne so swole his bones crack, torpedoes are inbound from the Marengo, and the last thing the camera catches is a crewman's head spinning 180 degrees to whisper: "We boarded." Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 3 – Ratling Extravaganza | 05 Aug 2020 | 02:59:22 | |
Insurrection on Fathom 4. A mob of salt-shaker-wielding ratling cannibals chase the party across the capital while Lorne crushes three of them into a psychic meatball and hurls it back as bait. Behind it all: Slyburgo de Fuckerby the 24th, the rival embassy's answer to scoring the most points. He escapes into the warp. The party limps home with a thousand ratling recruits, a prisoner, and a critically wounded engine seer. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 21 – The Mercenary Games | 09 May 2021 | 02:48:22 | |
Days are missing from Pi Brain's conspiracy board and the warp won't let anyone see them. De Fuckerby's trail leads underground -- to a mining planet where noble families wage proxy wars through xenos mercenaries for refinery control. Zedek calls a Kroot a chicken, gets shot, and trades his shoulder pad to recruit it. The "Information Center" is a cantina. The mercenary games have already begun. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 22 – PVP | 23 May 2021 | 02:55:07 | |
Lorne cheats at cards with warp magic. The Turalyans go Khornate. And before the dust settles, the crew splits -- Red Team versus Blue Team, 2Fort-style, fighting over a single card slot while a Gnarlok dubbed "the blood chicken" nearly TPKs everyone in the sewer. Lorne levitates to victory. The chicken nods in respect. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 23 – Interrogation | 06 Jun 2021 | 02:50:38 | |
De Fuckerby's trail points to the outer planets -- but before the crew can chase it, the Inquisition comes calling. Interrogator Landon settles onto the nicest couch the Debt Collector has ever seen, puts on Silent Hill music, and politely asks the party to justify every catastrophe since Episode 1. Meanwhile, Zedek buys five thousand dog soldiers with signed books, and Pi Brain keeps seeing a ghost in a nightgown that nobody else can. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 24 – Imperial Warzone | 25 Jun 2021 | 02:51:42 | |
An Ork-besieged moon. A guard base running on fumes. And a smiling trooper who shares the last name of the man Reeb mercy-killed three episodes ago. The Primarch sends the crew to deliver war supplies to Fimbria IV's fourth moon, where the "containment strategy" is just making the exclusion zone bigger. Pi Brain destroys the medbay, Zedek deploys a thousand dog soldiers, and the astropath whispers that countless eyes are watching from the warp. Then Trooper Hest gets sent on patrol -- and the rescue mission nobody planned for begins. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 25 – The Green Tide | 18 Jul 2021 | 03:09:50 | |
Four weeks of birthday cake and no ammo. The flak cannon keeps their ship grounded, the colonel needs a suicide squad, and De Fuckerby just called to say he stole the Debt Collector. Now the crew marches uphill into an Ork army with pocket worms, a kazoo, and a distillery made of fondant. Diversion force. No extraction. Worms. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 26 – Xenos Intervention | 04 Aug 2021 | 02:21:36 | |
The suicide mission is over. The crew wakes up in a cave on the wrong planet -- dragged through the webway by an Eldar ranger who watched them fail and decided they were still useful. De Fuckerby isn't just a thief. He's collecting shards of gods older than the Eldar themselves, and the Farseers say this idiot Rogue Trader crew is the only blind spot in his warped reality. The price of passage: walk the Dark Road, a warp-breached corridor where Slaanesh keeps the lights on. Zedek gets a ballroom full of sycophants, the sound of his dead father's boots on marble, and the promise of everything he ever wanted. He stabs it in the chest. The crew's friendship is the only thing real enough to break the spell -- and on the other side, a sealed Biologus facility hisses open to a code only Reeb would know. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 27 – The Choice | 29 Aug 2021 | 02:50:02 | |
Reeb's personal code opened a Biologus lab that thinks he's its master, and now the Chaos Gods are taking turns. A squid-shaped Khorne entity offers Pi Brain a demonic Skitarii legion -- then tells him he's already a servant of the Blood God, every murder on the lower decks a skull offered without prayer. Pi breaks. Zedek talks him down. Then a zombie horde pours through the blast doors, the crew runs, and Church wakes up in cryo on the other side -- alive, confused, and two thousand years late to the conversation. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 28 – Home Sweet Home | 13 Sep 2021 | 02:49:27 | |
The Webway spits them out through Zedek's sentient closet and back onto the Debt Collector -- cleaned, repaired, and occupied by the enemy. Belba Creepfoot has been living in a cardboard box the whole time, commanding a potato-squad of ratlings from the shadows. De Fuckerby took the Tot. The crew descends into the sewers for the third time, reconciles with Gamu 4224 -- who has discovered that perfection without chaos is its own kind of hell -- and arms up for the final push to the Strategium. One frag grenade. One Lemurian box. One very long crawl. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 29 – The Confrontation | 26 Sep 2021 | 03:22:56 | |
Cyclonic torpedoes are falling. Lorne catches one with his mind and flings it back at Inquisitor Melchior's ship. A rattling army launches planetside in double-stacked Arvis lighters blasting Skeleton Warriors at full volume. On the surface, de Fuckerby has already activated the prison -- a C'tan shard tears free, Scarbrand erupts from the warp behind it, and Lorne burns himself out of reality to stop the summoning. Three chuckle fucks and one ogryn are all that's left between two warring gods and a galaxy-ending mistake. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 30 – The Finale | 18 Nov 2021 | 02:58:19 | |
Scarbrand is screaming. A C'tan is loose. And the only way to cage a star god is three hands on a Necron plinth while a daemon the size of a building tries to kill you. Chonkus throws Pi Brain like a bullet. Reeb finds de Fuckerby dying under rubble, grants him one final monologue, and grinds a boot heel into his skull. The prison reactivates. The crew limps home to a standing ovation from ratlings, gang members, and one very relieved child. Reeb makes Interrogator. Pi Brain gets recalled to Lemuria -- a real tech priest at last. Zedek inherits a second ship he will absolutely destroy. They leave teacups where only the others will find them, and fade to black as Tater Tot waves goodbye to the golden ghost of an old Fenrisian psyker walking into the stars. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 4 – Septic Maintenance | 17 Aug 2020 | 02:55:11 | |
Warp transit. The Debt Collector stinks. Belba says it's an excremental — a warp-touched sewer horror — and the Captain's already-lost three janitor crews to it. Introductions all around: an astropath who lies in a tarp surrounded by loose lasguns, and Tech-Priest Gamu 4224, a filing cabinet of grudges who has been spamming the Captain's inbox for months. Then the team descends into Septic Unit Four. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 1 – Litanies of the Lost | 26 Sep 2024 | 02:38:00 | |
A rogue trader with an empty pantry, a tech-priest who dissects things for fun, an Eldar who shouldn't be here, and an Ogryn who wants to be a tractor. They land on Ostia to beg for grain -- and walk straight into a turf war between the church, the cog-boys, and something nobody's talking about. The food run just became an investigation. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 2 – Children of the Dawn | 10 Oct 2024 | 02:34:15 | |
Buried inside a pyramid of bureaucrats, the crew discovers every record in the Administratum has been falsified. Workers are vanishing, productivity is tanking, and the local adept is hiding something behind locked data-vaults. The paper trail leads nowhere -- because someone already burned it. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 3 – The Assault Begins | 31 Oct 2024 | 02:20:06 | |
The crew commandeers a battle tractor named Ethel and drives straight into a mob of cultists blocking the road to ancient ruins. When intimidation only scatters half of them, flashbangs and frag grenades finish the argument. Below the ruins, Drukhari raiders, a damaged Webway gate, and a lone Craftworld ranger who really does not want to come out. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 4 – Grenades Solve Everything | 07 Nov 2024 | 02:09:38 | |
Deeper in the Drukhari-infested ruins, the crew negotiates an uneasy truce with a Craftworld Eldar sniper and wades into a xenos torture chamber. Roos has a grenade. The Drukhari have a Webway gate. The solution to every problem is the same -- pull the pin and pray to the Emperor it lands where you aimed. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 5 – Vow of Silence | 22 Nov 2024 | 02:36:06 | |
A saint's sharpened thigh bone. A silent monastery on an unnamed island. A traitor of the Arch-Enemy hiding among monks who took a literal vow of silence. The crew arrives by naval barge to find the monks won't talk, the staircase is rigged with tripwire grenades, and Ork Kommandos have already moved in. Stealth lasted about forty seconds. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 6 – An Ork Problem | 12 Dec 2024 | 02:32:36 | |
Battered and bleeding after the Kommando ambush, the crew regroups inside the monastery only to discover a mad dok Pain Boy performing surgery on a pet squig in the next room. Ten Gretchin are lifting weights somewhere. The thigh bone is still missing. Every hallway smells like fungus and poor decisions. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 7 – Sacrifices Were Made | 29 Dec 2024 | 02:43:21 | |
The monastery is now a full orc infestation. A room full of Burna Boys with flamethrowers nearly kills the captain. Kelrana goes unbound with her psychic powers. Roos considers stealing Alden's tricorn hat to become interim captain. The thigh bone is still, somehow, nowhere to be found. At this rate the orcs will run out before the crew's patience does. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 8 – Worthy & Chosen | 30 Jan 2025 | 02:33:07 | |
After six hours of unconscious napping in a monastery bathroom, Captain Alden wakes up to find Kelrana and Aloysius playing rock-paper-scissors and Roos spinning on a pole wearing a paper hat. The War Boss is dead. The orcs are scattered. Somewhere in this building is a sacred thigh bone, and nobody has checked the obvious room yet. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 9 – Blown out of Proportions | 13 Feb 2025 | 02:17:33 | |
The crew discovers a storeroom full of smuggled Emperor's Tarot decks and a monk who broke his vow of silence. A kitchen full of Gretchin becomes a three-hour war crime that nobody asked for. Aloysius tries to build a car engine inside a Grot. The thigh bone is reportedly in the solarium. Getting there requires surviving Roos's creative problem-solving. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 10 – Dark Bidding | 27 Feb 2025 | 02:35:33 | |
The Bird of Paradise needs cogitators to escape the Gilead system. The only supplier is a Forge World Fabricator General who communicates through exploding servitors and demands the crew retrieve a stolen stasis coffin -- contents unknown, questions forbidden. Aloysius has an orc head wired into the ship's comms. The crew descends into the underhive to find answers, and instead finds a chop-shop, a gang with red bionic arms, and an economy built entirely on backstabbing. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 5 – Roll Medicae on a Wall | 28 Aug 2020 | 02:49:18 | |
Fathom 4's tithe is logged. Next stop: Scargaris Prime, a salt-flat hive world that hasn't paid taxes in ten thousand years. Lady Abathia Rubania greets them wearing a backpack of her own blood. Her alabaster spire glistens wetly in the sun. Reeb rolls Medicae on the wall — and finds out what the Marble Compact has really been feeding into their architecture. Somewhere beneath it all, a Dark Age Mechanicum outpost is still waiting. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 11 – The Maniacal Elevator | 13 Mar 2025 | 02:21:23 | |
On a Forge World moon, the crew waits in line for a space elevator while shoving milkshake-bloated civilians out of the queue. At the top: a black market auction for the stolen stasis coffin, attended by an Eldar sex goblin on a hoverboard, a Ratling riding an Ogryn, and a chaos cult with more money than the captain has ever seen. The bidding war is about to get very literal. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 12 – The Prisoner | 16 Apr 2025 | 03:10:50 | |
The auction goes sideways. Rival factions fill a repurposed mining habitat -- corsairs, mutant cultists, tech-gangers with radium pistols -- all bidding on a stasis coffin that nobody is supposed to open. The crew tries diplomacy, deception, and checking if anyone at the table is a psyker. Kelrana talks to her people. Alden tries to outbid a chaos cult. Roos sizes up the other Ogryn. Everybody tastes iron. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 13 – A New Arrival | 21 Nov 2025 | 02:26:50 | |
A new crewmember boards the Bird of Paradise: Simsel, a 5'4" Armiger pilot with a toothpick and a death wish. Aloysius laces his stogie with something that erases the concept of pain. The crew lands on Forge World Avachris to investigate a quarantined manufactorum where servitors have gone rogue, a production line has run out of flesh, and the Administratum staff have been eating each other for a month. Welcome aboard. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 14 – Duty Beyond Death | 08 Dec 2025 | 02:20:40 | |
Roos kills a scribe on instinct. Aloysius wires the corpse back together as a meat puppet for interrogation. The half-dead man begs to die; the crew makes him sing sea shanties first. Somewhere below, a rogue Magos is committing tech-heresy on an industrial scale, and the servitors have stopped taking orders. Roos dunks the flesh-ball into a basket. Nothing but net. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 15 – The Warp Factory | 05 Jan 2026 | 02:17:06 | |
Deeper into the manufactorum, the crew finds a conveyor belt that builds servitors, hexagonal worker pods full of blood, and an eight-pointed star painted on the floor. Kelrana reaches for her soul stone and realizes it is gone. Roos stands in a chaos circle because he was told to. The elevator dings. Above a pulsing reactor core, a metal coffin hangs from chains -- and a red-robed tech-priest is doing something terrible to it. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| Wrath & Glory – Ep. 16 – The Mystery Revealed | 05 Jan 2026 | 02:25:25 | |
Captain Alden daydreams about crab cakes while the mission briefing plays. The crew descends to the reactor level, where a coffin suspended above a warp-tainted power core holds whatever the Fabricator General was too afraid to name. Chaos symbols cover every surface. Kelrana needs her soul stone or she is damned forever. Simsel has no idea what forge world he is on. Roos makes tea with a delicate touch. Whatever is in that coffin, they are about to find out. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 1 – Echoes | 17 Feb 2026 | 02:41:36 | |
A lone warrior faces four descending angels in a desolate bunker. Will he hold the line, or will chaos tear him apart? Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 2 – Finding The Path | 20 Mar 2026 | 03:33:37 | |
Centuries later, four traitor Astartes are crammed into a gunship none of them can fly, chasing a target to a frozen backwater world called Van Celis. The servitors handle the landing — until an autocannon punches through the cockpit and kills the pilot. They crash. Three platoons of guardsmen are dispatched to stop them. They melt, they scream, they die. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 3 – The Eighth Translation | 12 Apr 2026 | 02:02:03 | |
The Emperor-class battleship Carcass goes where it wants, crewed by cultists and commanded by a captain who fused with the navigator into a void of blinking eyes. Every eighth warp translation, something gets aboard — and the count just hit eight. Bethael sprouts a scorpion tail mid-blessing. The guardsman gets stuffed in a locker for his own safety. And four Chaos Marines begin the real war: converting one terrified mortal to their respective gods. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 4 – On The Hunt | 23 Apr 2026 | 03:29:33 | |
Something has appeared in the crew's void ship. Will they hunt it down, or will it hunt them? Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| WarHams – Ep. 6 – The Song Halls | 17 Sep 2020 | 02:56:41 | |
The moon outpost is a sound-research facility. The servitors only answer if you sing to them. The walls are lined with acoustic foam and bolter-splattered corpses in sea-green armor. Pi takes his first point of Corruption off a crashed Fury's dying machine spirit. In a test tube: Sean, a bored warp demon who confirms the Rubanias have been livestreaming tithe collectors getting butchered for ten thousand years as entertainment. Then the stasis pod opens — and a one-legged Blood Angel wakes up asking for Sanguinius. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Click here to view the episode transcript. This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 5 – Into The Den of Vipers | 17 May 2026 | 02:13:14 | |
The crew infiltrates the Alpha Legion’s lawless starfort, Epsilon Retreat, under a fragile non-violence pact. Will they secure vital resources—or succumb to the chaos teeming beneath its polished surface? Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 6 – Showdown in the Arena | 28 May 2026 | 02:30:48 | |
An energy blast incinerates a crew member’s leg, unleashing a conflagration that leaves only ash. A whispered heresy lingers: all is dust. Will they pay Chaos’ price for power? Also there are Orks. Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 7 – Kickstart my Heart | 15 Jun 2026 | 02:06:30 | |
The crew arrives at Dahab, a storm-wracked planet of endless fire. Will they unravel the curse binding their ship—or become kindlingt? Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||
| A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 8 – The Palace of Mirrors | 25 Jun 2026 | 02:19:51 | |
The crew ventures into a castle of mirrors, where eerie visions and a cryptic patron challenge their quest. Will they uncover the truth, or will the reflections trap them in endless chaos? Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com Click here to watch a video of this episode.
This is an improv show — some themes and humor may not be for everyone. Skip what you need. Watch the show on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarrativeDeclaration · Get episodes early and ad-free plus exclusive shows: patreon.com/NarrativeDeclaration · All shows, merch, and socials: https://narrativedeclaration.com/ | |||