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#189 - How to Start Unschooling (Without Trying Every Homeschool Method First)
Thinking about unschooling but wondering if you have to “try everything else first”? You don’t. 💛
In this episode, Sue Patterson from Unschooling Mom2Mom shares a gentle pep talk for parents who feel called toward unschooling but still hesitate. Maybe you’re waiting for the right method, the right time, or the right confidence — but what if you’re already ready enough?
Sue unpacks common fears, clears up misinformation from the homeschooling community, and reminds you that unschooling isn’t extreme — it’s human.
👉 Visit UnschoolingMom2Mom.com for more resources, and join the Creating Confidence Membership for weekly support and encouragement. (Discounted for Podcast listeners - no sign-up fee!)
Unschooling + Halloween = real learning. 🎃 Discover how curiosity, culture, and connection replace curriculum this week with Sue Patterson’s gentle guidance.
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No Need to Pause Learning — Halloween Is the Lesson!
Ever wonder how you’re going to celebrate holidays — like Halloween or Día de los Muertos — and fit in the lessons you planned for the week? 🎃 Here’s the secret: you don’t have to choose. The holiday is the lesson.
In this week’s Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast episode, Sue shows how these fall celebrations are filled with real learning opportunities — from spooky storytelling and candy math to science, art, and cultural history. You’ll see how learning weaves naturally into family traditions when you slow down, stay curious, and let the season lead the way.
Whether you’re almost unschooling or a (usually) confident unschooler, this conversation will help you relax, reconnect, and see the everyday learning that’s already happening all around you.
🎃 Inside the Episode:
How to let Halloween be the lesson
Subject-by-subject learning ideas (Language Arts, Math, Science, Fine Arts, and Social Studies)
Día de los Muertos projects that connect heart, history, and creativity
How connection teaches more than curriculum ever could
School taught us lessons we didn’t even realize we were absorbing—and they’re still messing with us today.
Most of us didn’t realize it while we were sitting in classrooms—but school was teaching us a lot more than math and grammar. It was shaping how we see ourselves, how we parent, and even how we value creativity and curiosity.
In this episode, we’re digging into 3 hidden “lessons” school taught us that still show up in our lives every day:
Follow directions. Don’t ask questions.
Creativity only counts if it looks like everyone else’s.
If you don’t fit the mold, you’re the problem.
These aren’t just school rules—they’re a kind of brainwashing we carry long after graduation. You may not even realize how much this is creeping into your parenting—but it’s probably at the heart of why you’re doubting yourself so much.
This is the time of year where homeschooling parents are busy making plans for next year. And that can lead to some uncomfortable park days or conversations on facebook for unschoolers.
So let's tackle why that is so problematic, and what we can do to resist wasting all that money on curriculum!
Membership If you need more unschooling support, please join us in the Creating Confidence Membership group. You really don't have to do this alone!
Jumping Into Unschooling If you want to unschool, but feel a little lost on what that actually means, I have the perfect course for you!
Unschooling moms are smiling everywhere, as Marie Kondo shifts gears about tidying up now that she has three kids.
We knew it was unsustainable.
For unschooling parents who have kids underfoot all day long, diving into projects and strewing their stuff all over the house... let's just say that carefully folded socks do not tend to rise to the top of the priority list!
Why I'm bringing this up on an unschooling podcast is because Marie's new focus is about shifting perspectives, prioritizing relationships and focusing on what matters. Now she's speaking our language!
I've also included a bit written by Shannon Loucks about our houses being a mess. It's lovely - you won't want to miss that - and it's linked at the blogpost/transcript.
UNSCHOOLING RESOURCES: Creating Confidence Membership group - where parents are sharing how to get more confident with this unconventional way of NOT duplicating school! Coaching calls, a huge members-only library packed with resources, a wonderfully supportive unschooling community - you should join us!
Unschooling Updates - Weekly emails full of unschooling ideas, resource links, and inspiration from me! My free email list will help us stay connected!
If you're thinking that unschooling is expensive, let me set your mind at ease! This podcast is ALL about moving away from schoolish thinking and seeing all the low-cost and FREE options available for your kids to learn!
AND! If you're seeing this in January 2023, You can save 50% off the new unschooler course: JUMPING INTO UNSCHOOLING only $99! Use the discount code: SUBSCRIBERS
Ready for 2023? Let's talk about how to brainstorm with the kids and make plans that everyone will love!
Here's the link to the Brainstorming tool I mentioned in the podcast: Brainstorming Time
If you'd still like to look back at 2022 to see what you'd like to bring with you into the new year, here are a couple of tools to help you:
New Year's Workbook - an unschooling resource to help you see all the progress that was made last year. It might be just the reassurance you need as you plan ahead.
Video Interviews - Get the kids going with talking with family members about favorites and memories - on video! So fun!
As we wrap up 2022, let's reflect on the successes and challenges we've faced - and even overcome this past year!
Taking a little time to review allows you to learn from what worked and what didn't. It helps you move forward with intention. Sure, unschoolers leave a lot of room for flexibility and pivoting! But having this information will give you some ideas - and it may even remind you of how great the year actually was!
This podcast gives you a lot of questions to ask yourself. And also some tools to help you:
Sue Patterson shares 5 strategies to help homeschooling and unschooling parents decrease the stress and enjoy their families - during the holidays or ANY TIME stress starts to feel overwhelming.
After raising 3 unschooled kids of her own, Sue knows what it's like in the parenting trenches! Focusing on these five areas will really help you!
What does it take to unschool? Sue Patterson shares 3 stumbling blocks parents have to overcome to successfully unschool. Or at least, to get the most benefit from it!
Sue's Unschooling Resources
Creating Confidence Membership Learning how to conquer obstacles like these is often best done in community with other unschooling parents working on the same objective. Private Coaching with Sue Sometimes we have questions that we'd like answers to - Sue can help!
Are you dreading the questions that are sure to come up at the upcoming holiday gatherings? Here are some solution-focused ideas that might help calm your nerves and help you move through these events with ease.
Michael Patterson, Sue's son, shares some thoughts about some of the community service projects he and his family participated in as he was growing up. And it didn't stop there!
This is the first Guest Podcast for Unschooling Mom2Mom - hope you like it!
Do you hear that from people? Do you think it yourself?
Let's look at why you might NOT be fine after 12 years in school. No, I'm not hating on school. But I'm not sweeping the problems under the rug either. Let me know what you think in the blog comments - or wherever you're listening.
Do you ever wonder if your child is learning "enough"?
Or worry that they’ve missed something important?
Let's explore how learning actually unfolds—through spirals, not straight lines.
Instead of a rigid, step-by-step sequence, unschoolers learn by revisiting ideas over time, layering understanding, and making meaningful connections when they’re ready. This spiral approach to learning naturally fills in what schools call “gaps”—without forcing, pressuring, or sticking to arbitrary timelines.
You'll learn: 🌀 Why unschooling doesn’t follow a linear path—and why that’s a good thing 🌱 How natural curiosity leads to deeper, more lasting learning 📚 What it looks like when kids circle back to topics on their own terms 🌻 How spirals show up in nature—and what they teach us about growth and learning 💬 How to reframe those “behind” worries and trust your child’s unique rhythm
If you’ve ever googled: 🔍 “How do unschoolers catch up?” 🔍 “What if my child misses something important?” 🔍 “How does learning happen without a plan?” 🔍 “Can kids really learn without school?”
—this conversation is for you.
✨ Learning doesn’t follow a checklist. ✨ There are no missed windows. ✨ Growth is happening—even if it’s quiet, slow, or spiraling.
Maybe they're afraid they're not going to know what they need to know. Or maybe they wonder why you've shifted gears and now all those things that used to matter with school or traditional homeschooling, doesn't seem to matter any more!
It's important to talk with the kids and explain how you're choosing this approach intentionally. Let's talk about about how to do this here in the podcast.
Join the Membership Group If you need help finding the subjects weaving through every day life, join my membership group. I help parents figure out which subjects are happening in the every day lives of your kids! When we can help you get past the fear, this will all be easier to see. (I've even done some private podcasts for members' kids to tap into!)
Jumping into Unschooling Course Maybe you like the organization of a class to help you create a strong unschooling foundation. That's what I've created for you!
Learning Math Without Curriculum This new course walks you through EXACTLY how you'll provide the experiences and create the opportunities for your own child. Don't waste another dime on curriculum! Including a section for unschooling teens!
Parents want to know what to do when their kids are only interested in playing make-believe or pretend play with their toys. They wonder when the "Real Learning" is going to start.
Sue Patterson, Unschooling Mom2Mom, answers parents by sharing the subjects that are often weaving throughout this imaginative playtime. Kids really are hard-wired to learn, but we may need a little help SEEING what's going on under the surface.
Get more help from Sue and see the learning that's happening throughout your child's day:
Join the Creating Confidence Membership Group In addition to coaching calls where we talk about this (and other questions parents have) , our private membership portal offers more resources to help you reframe the way you're seeing learning.
1:1 Coaching with Sue Patterson Maybe groups aren't your thing - or you just can't fit it into your schedule! We can set up a coaching call to conquer your fears!
Jumping Into Unschooling Maybe you'd like a systematic approach to creating a strong unschooling foundation. This is the course for you!
If we've decided to unschool, we may see value in applying many of these principles to parenting too.
The mainstream familiar way most of us recognize, actually works against parents in so many ways. Because it’s so focused on control and fear - fear that the kids will do something wrong or that we’ll be considered a bad mom or dad - we shouldn’t be too surprised that it starts the ball rolling in a negative direction.
Let's talk about ways to shift this in meaningful way - that will actually work!
Let's talk about what these first few weeks of unschooling are going to look like - for you and for the kids.
I have a Free Unschooling Checklist Challenge - especially for those of you who are new to unschooling! It's a 7-day email series to walk you through these first few steps. Each day, we'll talk about something you need as you get started, I'll give you a couple of action steps and a PDF. We'll do it togther! Sign up for the Free Challenge here.
This link will take you to the (newly designed!) website with the transcript and a few more resources: Unschooling, Now What?
Creating Confidence membership is still the best way to grow your confidence! Benefits include a huge library of members-only resources (including a lot of Unschooling Guides and pieces of Guides), group coaching calls with me, and a variety of ways to connect with this wonderfully supportive community.
Are you one of those parents who are reluctantly sending their kids off to school? Imagine me whispering, "Don't Do It!"
In this podcast, I'm talking about some of the reasons people might ignore their gut and send the kids off to school - and letting you know that you DO have options. Unschooling really DOES work - I can help you figure out what to do INSTEAD of School!
UNSCHOOLING RESOURCES Creating ConfidenceMembership Get coaching, community and a huge library of unschooling resources made for Sue's Membership Group
What about unschooling and parents of pre-schoolers? Are you facing a lot of pressure as you're trying to choose what's best for your little ones?
Even if you DON'T end up unschooling, delaying academics is proving to be a much better option for kids. Don't duplicate school just because it's familiar!
Let's talk a bit about what's going on when you're parenting little ones, and how to get support if you're opting for something like unschooling.
What do you do when your teen hates school - and anything that seems even a little bit "educational?" In this episode of the podcast, Sue Patterson shares how and why the unschooling approach is perfect for this!
The BEST resource to grab - especially if you as the parent keep leaning toward wanting to duplicate school is The Unschooling Guide: Brainstorm Time. Use it as a planner with your teens. Nothing "schoolish" in here - but it's the start to living a full rich life! And that's where you'll find that learning happens every single day! Without power struggles!
Are you having a little trouble with connecting with your kids? Could your relationship stand some improvements?
Connecting with your kids is a big component of successful unschooling - but it's something every parent can do a little better with. Sue Patterson shares some practical tips for how little changes can have a big impact!
When we started Unschooling Mom2Mom back in 2014, I had no idea it would grow into a space that would support thousands of families across the world—but 11 years later, here we are. 💛
🎉 Happy Anniversary to all of us!
Unschooling Mom2Mom has stood the test of time. 🌻
Because even though the online landscape is always changing, certain truths about unschooling still hold up—year after year, family after family.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: 🌀 “Am I doing this right?” 🌀 “Is this even working?” 🌀 “Why does everyone else seem so confident?” ...this community is for you.
So much of this journey is easier when you know you’re not the only one. Finding community can be a game changer for decreasing your doubt and growing your confidence.
Have you found unschoolers to brainstorm with? Has Unschooling Mom2Mom helped you? Let me know in the comments.
___________DON'T MISS THIS!______________
If you want hand-holding through this (often stressful) season, join the Not Back to School 30-Day Reset.
The 2025 Cohort starts together on August 11th.
But you can get an Early Bird discount AND a ton of Bonus resources if you hop on this before July is over! August 1st is on FRIDAY - I know, crazy - but don't miss out!
When unschoolers say, "We follow our kids' interests," how does that even work? Sue Patterson, homeschooling mom of 25+ years and Unschooling Mom2Mom founder, shares how following your child's interests is the starting place for unschooling families!
How about Unschooling this summer? I don't mean drop the kids off at the pool and pick them up at the end of the day. I'm talking about REALLY unschooling. Being intentional. Learning about how to do it and going "all in."
I have suggestions in the podcast and more links to help you along! You can do it!! You'll be glad you did - maybe you'll even like it BEYOND the Summertime!
In Podcast #34, I gave Pros and Cons for Unschooling. But a listener notice that while I gave a lot of benefits for kids who are unschooled, I didn't mention the benefits that PARENTS get when they choose to unschool their kids.
So that's where we're going this week. What are all the perks moms and dads will receive when they unschool their kids?
I have listed 10 - and I'm sure there are more! Tell me at the blog or anywhere that allows you to leave comments. You can always submit a follow up question or share your thoughts here: Q4Sue form
Past podcasts are all listed here too, with links to the blogposts associated with them. Some have additional PDFs, so be sure to check them out! Past Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcasts
When you dive into homeschooling, but the kids resist or it just doesn't go the way you thought it would... parents often turn to unschooling.
Actually, this is often The Evolution of the Unschooler! 😉 So you're not alone.
The more traditional homeschooling approach is what's most familiar - and most families start there. Let's talk about what it would take to move toward unschooling. You'll be glad you did!
New! Learning Math Without Curriculum This new course walks you through EXACTLY how you'll provide the experiences and create the opportunities for your own child. Don't waste another dime on curriculum! Including a section for unschooling teens!
Do you like the *idea* of unschooling, but are fearful about other parts? This podcast can help you tackle some of the common fears that arise when you're considering unschooling. Like: - You're worried they won't learn what they need to be functioning adults. - You're worried they'll never learn academics. - You're worried they won't have any friends. - You're worried this choice will screw up their career options. - You're worried they'll hate you when they grow up and feel you made a bad choice.
Sue Patterson shares some reassuring information about how unschooling can work for you - without these fears ever actually happening. Fear makes us play small and keeps us from a fabulous life. Let's overcome them so you can be the parent you want to be and help your family enjoy each other!
THIS video has the 4 questions you were hoping to see in the recording. 🌻 Talking to Kids about Unschooling 🌻 What about Kindergarten? 🌻 Unschooling and Neurodivergent Kids 🌻 Finding locals
This week is Mothers’s Day. And since the podcast is Unschooling Mom2Mom, I thought it’s important to talk about it a little. I actually have a collection of writings about Mother’s Day:
The post from Mother’s Day 2020 has a lot of interesting links - all focusing a bit on the HYPE of Mother’s Day. Because, you know, Mother’s Day didn’t start out this way. The founder, Anna Jarvis, is probably rolling over in her grave because this is NOT what she had in mind.
And, like all holidays, they can be triggering. We see these beautiful Instagram posts and then we look over and our kids have forgotten. Especially if you’re a single mom and no one is helping your child plan ahead for this “Big Day.” Or maybe we’re reminded that our own mothers aren’t here or weren’t that great when they were.
So if you need to scroll on past Mother’s Day, do you! Seriously. It’s not worth putting undue pressure on anyone.
Because really, appreciation is an inside job. You do what you do because that’s how you want to parent. It’s how you want to mother. Not to get flowers or feedback from anyone else that you’re doing a good job. YOU determine if you like the job you’re doing. That’s a lot of that People Pleasing that's been conditioned into us. Also it's that school-induced idea about “showing your work,” or it-doesn’t-count-unless-it’s-externally-praised. Isn’t it time to let THAT go??
I also wanted to talk a little about being THAT mom. You know the one. The one who gets the side eye from friends and relatives. The one who marches to her own beat. And if you’re unschooling, partnering with your kids as you’re navigating this Parenting Thing, odds are, you’re the one they’re talking about.
Creating Confidence Membership If you need to surround yourself with other parents who are prioritizing partnering with their kids, you'll love the support in my private coaching group. So many awesome resources too. It's a month-by-month plan, so stay as long as you'd like!
Unschooling Updates Getting on my free email list will bring unschooling resources to your inbox! Let's stay connected!
Feeling the pressure as everyone heads back to school? Even the most committed unschooling parents can feel a wave of doubt this time of year.
In this episode, we’ll talk about: – Why second-guessing shows up (even when you know unschooling is right) – How to stay grounded when the school supply sales and social media posts start rolling in – What real support looks like during this season of uncertainty
You don’t have to do this alone.
If the back-to-school energy is messing with your mindset, this episode is for you!
When everyone’s going back to school—and you’re not—it’s completely normal to feel the pressure. Even if you’re still unsure about unschooling, one thing’s clear: that school bus isn’t stopping at your house this year.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Join a group of parents walking this same path—asking the same questions, finding their footing, and building something better for their families.
That’s exactly what the Not Back to School: 30-Day Guided Reset is here for.
A full month of coaching, encouragement, and specific resources to help you start the year feeling confident and supported.
🎁 Sign up by July 31 to get Early Bird pricing ($99) and unlock exclusive bonuses!
OR we could call this... STEP AWAY FROM THE CURRICULUM!!!
When you're new, it's not uncommon to focus on curriculum purchases or ways to teach your kids all kinds of cool things! And if you're in homeschooling communities, this time of year is really buzzing about what to buy for next year!
I want to let you know that rushing out to buy that curriculum is the biggest mistake I see when you're new! Whether you are homeschooling or unschooling - or anything in between.
This podcast will walk you through what the problem is - and how to avoid the mistake!
Let's identify 9 causes that may be making you feel stressed or even burnt out. I'll give you some solutions here in the podcast and resources to help you dive deeper.
A lot of people are not crazy about the word, Unschooling! Do you like the idea of Unschooling, but wish the word was... something else?
I've gathered a lot of options for you - as well as explaining why you might want to actually use the word. Come listen - you may find some ways to refer to what you're doing without using the label at all!
The transcript is in blogpost form here: https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/that-word-unschooling/
So many parents worry that their kids are on their electronics too much. They've read all the social media posts and they think their kids my be addicted to their screens.
Is this something you're thinking? And then when we add in the added layer of liking the unschooling concepts - how will that fit in with your kids and their fascination with their video games or their phones???
I can help you figure this out! Odds are, they're not addicted at all. But you're going to need to look at things a little differently.
After 25 years of unschooling - and seeing countless kids playing with technology - I'm here to share what I've seen that will help your situation. Let's dive in!
UNSCHOOLING RESOURCES In the podcast, I mentioned a couple of resources. I want to be sure you have the links:
Unschooling Guide: Technology This Guide will help you see where you could make little changes to see HUGE improvements in your lives. So many families have loved it.
Creating Confidence Membership Group Could you use some other parents who are walking on this same path? Sometimes our local communities don't have a lot of unschoolers to bounce ideas around with. With 3 group zoom calls a week and ongoing coaching from Sue Patterson - this is an awesome option. Click to find out more about it!
🎮 How to Connect with Your Gamer Teen (Without Pushing Them Away)
Do you feel like your teen is slipping away—and gaming is the wall between you?
You’re not alone. Whether you're unschooling or just trying to build a healthier relationship with your teen, this episode will help parents reframe what gaming means and how your reactions might be unintentionally creating more distance.
In this episode of the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast, Sue Patterson (unschooling coach, mom of 3 grown unschoolers, and author of Homeschooled Teens) explores:
Ways parents accidentally sabotage connection (even with good intentions).
How gaming can be a bridge—not a barrier—to deeper relationships.
5 questions you can start asking today to connect with your gamer teen.
Whether you unschool or not, this conversation will show you how simple shifts in language and presence can spark meaningful moments—without forcing anything or hovering awkwardly.
📬 Stay in the loop + weekly encouragement Join Sue’s email list for podcast updates, YouTube extras, and unschooling tools that actually work.
📌 Chapters 0:00 Why It Feels Like You’re Losing Connection 1:49 Welcome 2:37 Unschooling Resources 3:09 What “Roommate Mode” Really Means 4:09 Was It Ever True Connection During Curriculum? 5:12 Presence Without Pressure 6:06 Using Gaming as a Bridge 7:56 Membership for Parents of Teens 9:19 Free PDF 10:00 Parenting in a New Way—Letting Connection Evolve
✨ Subscribe + Rate if this helped! And remember, connection isn’t lost—it’s just changing form.
Have you heard the term "strewing?" and wondered how it relates to unschooling?
Maybe you're not really sure how or why you might want to incorporate a little strewing into your homeschooling lives.
This is the podcast for you! I'll help you see what strewing is - and what it isn't! This quick pep talk podcast will show you how to strew and help you understand what's going on when you do!
UNSCHOOLING RESOURCES ...if you'd like to dive a little deeper with more suggestions and/or support
Take a few minutes to look back at 2021 and notice all the learning that actually happened. It's so easy to overlook, and let fear focus on places we've come up short.
In this podcast, I have 5 questions you can ask yourself to gain some clarity.