Unmasking Mum – Details, episodes & analysis

In this episode, Ana Bonasera explores the nature of confidence, why we care about others' opinions, and how to flip the script on negative self-talk. She shares personal insights and practical tips to boost self-esteem, especially for those with ADHD and neurodivergent traits.

Takeaways

• Confidence is not an all-or-nothing trait; it varies across different areas of life.
• Practicing kindness and understanding towards ourselves can help rebuild confidence.
• Flipping the script on negative thoughts can be as simple as asking, 'What if the opposite is true?'
• People's negative comments often say more about them than about us.

Ana Bonasera shares insights from a recent workshop ran by BOB ICB* on plans for ADHD provision, highlighting upcoming initiatives to improve diagnosis, support and community engagement for the ADHD community.

Key topics

• ADHD diagnosis gaps and statistics in Oxfordshire
• New support structures including online and in-person groups
• Development of a comprehensive ADHD resource website and app
• Community-led peer support models
• Long-term vision for ADHD care and support

ADHD Women of Oxfordshire Network - https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdwomenoxfordshire

*Buckinghamshire, Oxfordshire and West Berkshire Integrated Care Board

In this episode of Unmasking Mum, Ana Bonasera discusses the challenges faced by ADHD parents during the back to school transition, the emotional toll of the holiday season and the importance of setting boundaries and lowering expectations for the new year. She emphasises the need for emotional regulation and self-care, encouraging listeners to take it slow and celebrate small wins.

Takeaways

• The back to school transition can be overwhelming for ADHD parents.
• Routine is essential for emotional regulation, despite a dislike for it.
• Emotional hangovers from the holidays can affect mental health.
• Parents often prioritise their children's needs over their own.
• Finding an emotional outlet is crucial for managing stress.
• Setting boundaries is important to avoid burnout.
• Lowering expectations can lead to more achievable goals.
• The bare minimum effect allows for small wins without pressure.
• Taking time for self-care is essential for well-being.
• Celebrating small achievements can boost motivation.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Unmasking Mum Podcast

05:11 Emotional Hangover from the Holidays

09:17 Setting Boundaries and Self-Care in January

13:50 Lowering Expectations for the New Year

17:34 Embracing the Bare Minimum Effect

In this episode of Unmasking Mum, I share my own journey of realising I’m ADHD and gently walk through five of the most common traits we see in ADHD mothers: emotional dysregulation, executive functioning challenges, time blindness, sensory overload and forgetfulness.

I explain how these traits show up in everyday mum life, from feeling overwhelmed and emotionally reactive, to struggling with time, routines and the mental load of parenting. I also connect these experiences back to the DSM-5 criteria, helping you understand that these challenges aren’t personal failings, but part of how an ADHD brain works.

This episode is about awareness, self-compassion and recognising yourself without judgement, so you can begin to support yourself more kindly, both as a parent and as a person.

Takeaways

• Emotional dysregulation can make feelings intense and fast-moving.
• Executive functioning challenges impact planning, organisation and follow-through.
• Time blindness can make everyday tasks feel harder to manage.
• Sensory overload is a real and exhausting part of ADHD mum life.
• Forgetfulness adds to the already heavy mental load of motherhood.
• Understanding ADHD traits through the DSM-5 can bring clarity and validation.
• ADHD mums often face unique pressures and expectations.
• Support systems and simple routines can help ease daily challenges.
• Self-acceptance is a powerful part of living well with ADHD
• Talking openly about emotions helps children feel understood too.

Sound Bites

• “I realised I was ADHD around four years ago, and suddenly so much made sense.”
• “The mental load of motherhood is heavy, ADHD just adds another layer.”
• “These aren’t flaws; they’re traits of an ADHD brain.”
• “Understanding yourself changes how you parent.”

Chapters

00:00 Welcome & My ADHD Realisation 

08:34 Five Common ADHD Traits in Mothers 

25:55 How These Traits Link to the DSM-5

In this episode of Unmasking Mum, I’m joined by Holly Matthews for a deeply honest and compassionate conversation about ADHD, neurodivergence and the ongoing journey of unmasking who we really are. We talk about what it’s like to grow up not knowing why you feel different and how late understanding of ADHD can bring both clarity and grief.

Together, we explore how grief can reshape you, how embracing your “weirdness” is actually a pathway to authenticity and why self-acceptance is a practice, not a destination. We also dive into the realities of motherhood and running a business with a neurodivergent brain, especially during overwhelming seasons like Christmas.

This episode is a gentle reminder that you don’t need to do life perfectly to be doing it well. Lowering expectations, creating support around you and allowing yourself to be fully you can make all the difference.

Takeaways

• Many of us grew up feeling different before ADHD was widely understood.

• Unmasking is part of the self-discovery journey — and it can be both freeing and emotional.

• Grief often opens the door to deep personal growth and change.

• Your “weirdness” is not something to fix — it’s part of your authenticity.

• Neurodivergent mums and business owners face unique pressures, especially around productivity.

• Lowering expectations can make Christmas (and life) feel more manageable.

• Joy can still exist in the chaos of motherhood.

• Self-acceptance is ongoing — and that’s okay.

• Supportive environments help neurodivergent people thrive.

• Having coping strategies matters, especially during overwhelming seasons.

Chapters

00:00 — Welcome to Unmasking Mum
05:35 — Understanding ADHD & Neurodivergence
10:34 — Self-Discovery, Late Understanding & Grief
20:08 — Unmasking & Embracing Authenticity
30:05 — Business, Motherhood & the Neurodivergent Brain
33:53 — Coping With Christmas Overwhelm

Links

Christmas guide and prep

https://the-happy-me-project.kit.com/828c358f76

Christmas Bingo

https://the-happy-me-project.kit.com/1b190362e4

In this episode, I discuss the three different pathways to getting a diagnosis and speak directly to anyone who has ever felt dismissed, unheard or made to doubt themselves when seeking support from healthcare professionals. I talk about the importance of trusting yourself, advocating for your needs, and remembering that you have every right to ask questions, seek answers and pursue a diagnosis.

We explore the reality that the healthcare system doesn’t always get it right, especially for women and neurodivergent people and why it’s okay to push back, seek second opinions and choose providers who truly listen.

This conversation is about reclaiming your voice, standing in your truth and knowing that your experiences are valid. Your health is your life and you deserve care that reflects that.

Please note since I've recorded this there have been some areas who have closed the right to choose pathway and your best to check the ADHD UK website (linked below) to find out about your local area.

Sound bites:

You are allowed to seek a diagnosis if you feel something isn’t right.

• Being dismissed doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it means you may need different support.
• Self-advocacy is not being difficult; it’s being informed and empowered.
• You can change providers if you’re not being heard.
• Your struggles are real and worthy of acknowledgement.
• Your health decisions belong to you.
• This is your life, not theirs.
• You are not asking for too much.
• You know your body better than anyone else.
• Being heard is a right, not a privilege.
• Advocating for yourself can feel hard, but it matters.

Links

https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/

Screening tool: https://adhduk.co.uk/adult-adhd-screening-survey/

In this episode, I open up about the real-life struggle so many of us ADHD mums face, being full of creativity, passion and purpose… but not always having the executive functioning skills to actually finish the projects we’re excited about.

I talk about my own journey of searching for kinder, more sustainable strategies to help me move from “big idea energy” to completion, without burning out or beating myself up along the way.

Some days it clicks, some days it absolutely doesn’t and honestly, that’s just life with an ADHD brain. But together, we can learn to work with our brains, not against them and celebrate every messy, colourful step in between.

✨ Takeaways 

• ADHD mums are incredibly creative, passionate, purpose-driven people.
• Our executive functioning doesn’t always keep up with our ideas and that’s okay.
• Strategies, support and self kindness can help us actually finish the work we care about.
• Some projects flow; some don’t, that’s part of being human, not a failure.
• You’re not alone in the ups and downs of getting things done with an ADHD brain.

🎙️ Sound Bites 

• “We’re bursting with creativity, it’s the finishing part that can feel like climbing Everest.”
• “It’s not a lack of passion. It’s a need for support, strategy, and kindness toward ourselves.”
• “Some days the strategies land, and some days they don’t and that’s okay.”
• “We can learn to work with our brains, not against them.”
• “Completion doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to be possible.”

📚 Chapters

00:00: Welcome to Unmasking Mum
00:28: Creativity, Executive Function, and the Art of Finishing Projects
Closing: What’s Coming Next on the Podcast

Ana Bonasera shares her personal journey of building confidence, especially around body image, through various life experiences, challenges and achievements.

She discusses the impact of ADHD hyperfocus, self-love and community support on her confidence development.

Key topics

• Body image and confidence journey
• Impact of motherhood and single parenting
• Role of hyperfocus and community in personal growth

In this episode of Unmasking Mum, host Ana Bonasera explores the concept of black and white thinking, particularly in the context of ADHD and parenting. She discusses the challenges of shifting from negative to positive self-perceptions and introduces the idea of a 'grey area' as a more balanced perspective.

Through relatable examples, Ana emphasises the importance of self-reflection, emotional regulation, and finding a middle ground in various aspects of life, including productivity and parenting. The episode concludes with a reminder that every day is a learning experience and encourages listeners to embrace their journey with ADHD.

Takeaways

• Black and white thinking can lead to negative self-perceptions.
• Finding a grey area helps in balancing thoughts.
• Self-reflection is crucial for emotional regulation.
• Parenting involves continuous learning and adaptation.
• It's okay to acknowledge challenges without spiraling into negativity.
• ADHD can feel debilitating, but it can also be managed.
• Emotions can be impulsive, and that's part of the journey.
• Every day presents new opportunities for growth.
• Creating affirmations can help shift mindset.
• It's important to recognise that not every day is perfect.

In this episode of Unmasking Mum, Ana Bonasera discusses the challenges of maintaining routines, particularly for those with ADHD. She shares her personal experiences with routines, emotional dysregulation, and the importance of understanding one's own brain. Ana emphasises the need for practical strategies to create effective routines, especially in the context of parenting and managing daily tasks. The conversation explores the concept of inflow theory and how it can help in establishing smoother routines.

Takeaways:

• Routine is often seen as a struggle for many, especially those with ADHD.
• Understanding ADHD can help in managing expectations around routines.
• The need for dopamine makes routine tasks feel boring and unmotivating.
• Small, incremental changes to routines can lead to sustainable habits.
• Morning routines can be particularly challenging for parents with multiple children.
• Creating a vision for future self can motivate routine changes.
• Burnout can be a significant trigger for reevaluating routines.
• Inflow theory suggests maintaining a flow in tasks to reduce overwhelm.
• Habit stacking can be an effective strategy for managing routines.
• It's important to reflect on personal struggles and adapt routines accordingly.