Unconditional Healing with Jeff Rubin – Details, episodes & analysis

This will be my last episode for a while.  I’ll be placing the podcast on hiatus to pursue my other interests of writing, working with individual students, and spending more time with family and friends as the pandemic lessens.  It’s been a wonderful experience creating and hosting this podcast and I’m very proud of the work.  The episodes will remain available on all the major podcast platforms as well as the Unconditional Healing website, so please share the podcast with any friends who might benefit. 

This episode is a commentary on the 5-line Aspiration for Unconditional Health that I wrote many years ago when first offering the Healing Circles. The Aspiration follows:      
                                                          ----        
                                      Aspiration for Unconditional Health

 Grant your blessing that I remain gentle, awake and strong in the midst of pain.
May I see beyond my own pain and become a beacon to others who are suffering.
May I utilize illness and adversity to develop my mind and heart, and realize my true character.
May I manifest compassion and fearlessness in all my activities,
And never waver on the path of unconditional health and well-being.  
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In this episode, I describe the origin and the intention of the Aspiration, and then its meaning and implications line by line.  It describes a path that views the painful circumstances in our lives as opportunities for growth and transformation, rather than outright calamities. 

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Francesca Leo and Bobby Hughes, who served as my excellent producers,  helping me put together these many episodes.  Francesca served in that role initially, and then as she left to pursue an MBA, Bobby seamlessly took on that role for the duration of the show.  This podcast would not have been possible without them. 

I’d especially like to thank all of the listeners of the show! I truly hope that you benefited from the teachings presented here by myself, and by my outstanding guests who unhesitatingly shared their real-life experiences and wisdom.  I wish you a life of self-kindness and freedom from fear, and as the Aspiration invites, may you utilize illness and adversity to develop your mind and heart and realize your true character.
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If you enjoy this episode or any other, please share this podcast with one other friend. Thank you! 

To learn more about Unconditional Healing, please subscribe to our newsletter here.

Jeff also hosts a twice-monthly online meeting called the Healing Circle. It's free, and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to learn and practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being. Note: You needn't be sick to benefit.

If you’d like to help support Jeff's spiritual work and teachings, please consider becoming a patron by checking out Jeff's Unconditional Healing Patreon Page. 

Jeff welcomes Toni Bernhard to talk about her journey with chronic illness, the loss of identity and self-blame that inevitably follow, and her dive into writing. To her surprise, that innocent endeavor spawned four Buddhist-inspired books -  three on living well with illness and chronic pain, and one on walking the Buddhist path.  Two of those books are on the Unconditional Healing recommended reading list.

We begin with Toni’s trip to Paris with her husband in 2001, where she shockingly developed a viral illness that continues to this day and changed her life dramatically.  Initially dropping her Buddhist practice to focus on fixing her body, Toni had a “thunderbolt moment” when she consulted with noted Buddhist author Sylvia Boorstein who advised  ‘Your body is sick, your mind isn’t sick'.  From that moment, Toni related to her illness in a completely different way and her healing journey began in earnest.

 She began to write as a way of checking in and touching her own pain, but Toni soon found that her writings had a universal value that would become her first book, How to Be Sick. In that book, Toni calls upon Buddhist teachings and resources as her guide, while also developing her own unique approach and practices to benefit those who are ill.

 Some of the many gems from Toni that were “mined” in this episode:

 Compassion as an antidote to suffering -  “What I recommend that people do is to focus on the actual facts in their life that are the source of suffering and bring compassion to it by crafting phrases that address that. I have found nothing alleviates suffering more than being able to speak, silently or whispering, to yourself about whatever is a source of suffering for you at the moment.”

On working with the medical system -  “What I recommend about any kind of illness is gather information. Instead of just grabbing at the first thing you hear and then shutting down around it.” 

The loss of self-identity that accompanies a serious illness -  “I would lie in bed and say, ‘if I’m not a law professor, who am I?’ I just felt worthless.  And it’s interesting that what I learned from that is not to attach to any identity.”

The present moment as a refuge – “When you bring yourself to the present, there’s no suffering, even if you’re in pain there’s no suffering. Because all there is, is what you’re experiencing right now.”

Thoughts on death and dying -  “One thing the Buddha taught me was to rely on my experience. And I don’t have experience of it (dying). I think it can be comforting for people to believe that there’s a continuation of some sort at death and I think that’s wonderful, but I can’t force that on myself, so I’m left with ’I don’t know',  and trying to be ok with that.”

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If you enjoy this episode, please share this podcast with one other friend. Thank you! 

To learn more about Unconditional Healing, please subscribe to our newsletter here.

Jeff also hosts a twice-monthly online meeting called the Healing Circle. It's free, and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to learn and practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being. Note: You needn't be sick to benefit.

If you’d like to help support this podcast and Jeff's work and teachings, please consider becoming a patron by checking out Jeff's Unconditional Healing Patreon Page. 

Laura Khoudari came by her profession as a trauma-informed personal trainer through a circuitous route.  No gym rat, Laura avoided working out and weight training until the unresolved pain in her spine from a herniated disc while in college left her no choice.  Today, she works exclusively with clients who identify as living with trauma and uses embodied strength training and other mindfulness practices to help them heal and transform. In Laura’s own words she describes her work as “turning strength training from just a movement practice into a healing practice”. 

 She does that by helping clients focus on how they feel rather than the more conventional benchmark of focusing on physical results alone.  Many of Laura’s clients share her former belief of feeling that they don’t belong in a gym.  While healing trauma is a multi-dimensional process, including talk therapy and other modalities, Laura cautions against defining ourselves as our illness or disability.  Especially with regard to trauma and PTSD, this is so vitally important. As one dives into the work of self-exploration, it’s so easy to see oneself as hopelessly and irreparably damaged, losing sight of the other qualities that define us as wholesome, healthy human beings. 

 In our conversation, we cover topics elucidated in Laura’s groundbreaking book with the adroit title, Lifting Heavy Things. She defines trauma, how it manifests in the body and the mind, and how strength training can heal the physiological and psychological aspects of one’s being. More than strength training alone, Laura uses other modalities like journaling and even haiku writing to help clients “come to their senses”, and learn to view the body as a wellspring of wisdom and sensitivity.  It is a scientific fact that unprocessed emotions, as exhibited with trauma, are stored in the body and embodiment work can help to access these repressed impressions.  

Having coincidentally just added weight training to my own physical therapy regimen, I can attest that it adds a level of confidence and self-assurance into the mix not seen with simple resistance training exercises.  However, it’s important to work with a professional fitness trainer or physical therapist at the beginning.  

 More on Laura here.

After you listen, you can learn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free,  and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  

If you’d like to help support this podcast and Jeff’s other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please check out our Patreon page .

Finally,  you are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here. 

This episode is a very special one! I so wanted to commemorate the anniversary of 9/11, when the World Trade Center Towers shockingly came down twenty years ago on this day.  Being that I live in close proximity to New York City, it’s impossible to ignore the anniversary each year, and it is especially hard this year with the end of the “Forever War” in Afghanistan that was launched in response to the 9/11 assault.

 My guest this week is a gentleman who was in the Tower that day and lived to tell about it, the first survivor of 9/11 I have ever spoken with directly.  Kushal Choksi, who came to America from India, was working for Goldman Sachs at that time, and was realizing the so-called “American Dream”.  He was ascending the corporate ladder, and avidly integrating into the company’s go-go culture until that fateful day dramatically changed his life. 

 Kushal’s accounts of that day are compelling and visceral:

• Seeing the second tower get hit with his "naked eye" and being right underneath it as it happened. 
• The grey cloud outside looking just like an apocalyptic movie, with splinters and embers falling from the sky.
• Running mindlessly through the streets, and leaping onto a ferry that had already left the dock.

There are so many wonderful lessons in this episode. Kushal’s story is so much about negotiating life when we face unexpected difficult circumstances. He is a genuine example of the Unconditional Healing ethos, where difficulties force us to get in touch with ourselves in a much deeper way and reach a level of healing that was heretofore unimagined. 

During our conversation, Kushal describes:

• His initial time working 70 hour weeks “in a blind race to get to I don't know where”
• How Sky-Breath meditation practice, which while not eliminating his memories of 9/11, has helped to lessen their grip. 
• Feeling like he was driving with a foot on both the gas and the brakes, and how he decided to take his foot off the brakes in order to really live life. 

Today, Kushal and his wife, (also a Wall Street trader originally),  have created and built Elements Truffles, a company that creates unique artisanal chocolate products inspired by the healing science of Ayurveda.   And as part of his healing process, Kushal has just completed an autobiographical novel, “On a Wing and a Prayer” which tells a heartwarming story of spirituality, redemption, and self-exploration. 

And after you listen, you can learn about and register for our next online Healing Circle here.  It's free,  and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  

If you’d like to help support this podcast and Jeff’s other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please check out our Patreon page here.

Finally,  you are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here. 

When we experience great difficulty in our life, we tend to panic and “catastrophize”, because we’re so stuck on expecting our life to unfold in a certain way.  So, this talk, originally given to a Healing Circle, is very much about looking at our attitudes and realizing just how much we are addicted to comfort and security, and how little we are prepared for the opposite - discomfort and uncertainty.  

It is based upon Buddhist teachings first formulated by an 11th century master from India named Atisha.  The talk’s original title, “Transform Bad Circumstances into the Path”,  is one of fifty-nine slogans or aphorisms called Lojong teachings that are designed to train the mind in compassion and resilience.  Atisha initially brought these teachings to Tibet from India over a thousand years ago, but they still hold tremendous wisdom and resonance for our modern culture. 

In truth, this particular teaching only makes sense when we adopt a non-gaining, non-materialistic view of life, rather than adopting a rigid version of what should happen. Otherwise, any variance to what we expect to happen in life will be seen as something to deny, ward off, or remove, with no redeeming qualities at all.

I use examples from my own twenty-year history with a chronic illness, and how my experience led me to adopt the much broader model of health that we use today in Unconditional Healing.  I also discuss the concept of reverse meditations which strive to see the nature of things rather than just the superficial appearance of things. 

There are two books I’d like to cite if you’d like to learn more about these Lojong teachings. One is called, “Training in Compassion: Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong”. by Norman Fischer and the other is called “Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness” by Chogyam Trungpa. 

After you listen, you can learn about and register for our next Healing Circlehere.  (It’s virtual, there is no charge, and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being).  

To help support this podcast and Jeff’s other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please visit our Patreon page here.

And you are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here. 

How does one bring spirituality to the task of counseling clients at moments of crisis or loss?  Can one move beyond the standards of traditional counseling to identify what a person needs and wants in life and then design a plan to achieve it?   These are the questions that Dr. Jeanne Michele attempts to answer during each of her counseling sessions with individuals and couples. 

Jeanne is considered part coach, part teacher, part mentor, part change agent, but spirituality is at the heart of what she does.  Raised as a Catholic, Jeanne made a profound mystical connection to Mary Magdalene at a tender age, which to this day, informs her work and her life.   

In our wide-ranging conversation, we discuss:

• How spirituality aids individuals and couples in moving forward after setbacks
• The what, why, and where of holding courageous conversations
• How these conversations can release blockages and soften deeply held belief systems
• Why a life crisis can help to strengthen, awaken, and transform
• The importance of self-discipline (taking a sacred pause) when fighting the impulse to lash out and blame 

We also discuss the loss of Jeanne’s brother, Michael, to AIDS, almost thirty years ago. This was at a time when AIDS was a certain death sentence, and those so afflicted were considered society’s pariahs.   Her brother’s illness and passing had profound impacts on Jeanne’s life and future calling. It also revealed the importance and power of community support when one is in dire straits, and the transformative power of suffering to awaken and heal.

For more info on Jeanne, click here.

After you listen, you can learn about and register for our next Healing Circle here.  It’s virtual, there is no charge, and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  

To help support this podcast and Jeff’s other projects, while also receiving benefits and admittance to events not available to the general public, please visit our Patreon page here. 

Andrew Holecek is a prolific author and spiritual teacher who writes and teaches extensively on navigating the Buddhist path.  He is able to present this tradition from a contemporary perspective, by skillfully marrying the ancient wisdom of the East with the scientific findings and knowledge of the West. 

I first encountered Andrew years ago when I read his first book, The Power and the Pain. Drawing upon his years of intensive study and practice, the book teaches the value and opportunities that exist in obstacles and difficulties on the spiritual path, a philosophy that resonated with me as someone confronting a serious chronic illness. I found his work a perfect fit for my Unconditional Healing teachings, as an approach towards lessening suffering when our life circumstances change and we are faced with painful, unavoidable situations. 

To back up a bit, Andrew was raised in a Catholic household and had an experience with meditation at the age of 20 that changed the course of his life. Confused by this very blissful experience, he began a quest to explore many of the world’s spiritual and religious traditions that could help explain what had occurred.  Eventually, after years of searching, Andrew’s journey led him to the East where he studied Tibetan Buddhism for years with many masters of that tradition.

During our conversation, we then take a deep dive into Andrew’s second book, Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition. While encountering our own mortality is both scary and fraught with the notion that “there’ll be time for that”,  Andrew discusses the subject in a matter-of-fact, almost scientific way that expertly covers the topic from both the spiritual and the practical perspective of dealing with end-of-life issues. We talk about what constitutes a good death, the ability to let go of everything, and as Andrew says, “to stop looking in the rear-view mirror”. If you think about it, we spend more time planning our yearly vacation than we do planning for arguably the most seminal event of our lives. 

We also spend time discussing lucid dreaming, the ability to became self-aware that one is dreaming while in the midst of a dream. Widely recognized as an expert on lucid dreaming and the Tibetan yogas of sleep and dream, Andrew is an experienced guide for students drawn to these powerful nocturnal practices. He makes the case that lucid dreaming is a skill that can be acquired by anyone.  Finally, Andrew offers advice on the many benefits of meditation for anyone from any walk of life or tradition.

For more info on Andrew, click here.

After you listen, you can learn about and register for our next Healing Circle here.  It’s virtual, there is no charge, and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.  

And you are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here.

This episode is about attitude.  How do we face adversity when it inevitably comes into our life?  What tools do we rely on when the going gets rough?  In answering these questions, we need to begin where we are, by looking at our current state of mind. How much of our views of the world are wrapped up in our biases, and what others think about us?  One bias that we typically share is a belief in a solid “self” that seeks to maintain control, and around which, the world revolves. At every moment, that belief is in question, but when things go well, when they go “our way”, it becomes easy to gloss over our doubt. 

That is where the wisdom aspect of adversity comes in.  Significant adversity in our life reveals that the so-called “controller” is not in control, and at that time, we may lose the entire sense of “who we are”.  However, as painful as this is to live through, there is another side to the story.  Adversity brings with it a golden opportunity to face ourselves, with our defense mechanisms and biases no longer working on auto-pilot.  It might be the first time in our life that we ask deep and profound questions about our life and its purpose.

But we needn’t wait for adversity to visit us to start the process.  In this episode, I explain how we can begin the work of seeing how our mind works by bringing mindfulness practice to bear, and by adopting a larger perspective. We can notice how attached we are to our thoughts, and we can question their origin.  We can realize that impermanence and uncertainty are always with us, no matter how hard we try to avoid that fact. We can seek a more “enlightened perspective” through reading and contemplation.

There is more to say about the wisdom of adversity in the episode. As someone living with a chronic illness for many years, I have thought deeply about my life and its purpose.  It has changed the way I think about health and well-being and the way we typically view those elements through a very narrow lens.  The notion of unconditional health, an inherent sense of well-being that transcends one’s circumstances, has certainly sprung from those efforts.  

 And after you listen,  learn about, and register for our next Healing Circle here.  It’s virtual, there is no charge,  and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being.

 You are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here.

Playing a complicated classical piece on the piano can be amongst the most complex and difficult feats of human hand-eye coordination and cognitive processing.  In attempting to master their art with painstaking diligent practice, 75% of professional musicians suffer injuries, compounded by trying to play through the pain. Enter Madeline Bruser.  Raised as an exceptionally talented pianist, Madeline performed as a soloist with the Denver and San Francisco Symphony Orchestras at a young age.

Confronting a crisis of confidence at a major audition, Madeline sought a means to overcome performance anxiety under pressure, and in so doing, launched a new career helping other musicians. She discovered that mindfulness meditation, with its focus on direct experience of the sense perceptions and attention to one’s body and energy, could have a major impact on one’s confidence and ability to relax. In addition, she discovered that when it comes to practice, less is often more, as long as it’s the right kind of practice.

 In our conversation, Madeline discusses many of the concepts and exercises outlined in her acclaimed book, The Art of Practicing, Making Music From the Heart. Many of these techniques, such as using active listening to improve rhythm and coordination, learning the effects of biomechanical principles on “right effort”, and methods to move beyond fear can be applied effectively for non-musicians as well. 

Madeline’s work is such a fit for Unconditional Healing with her emphasis on mindfulness, tuning into the body’s wisdom, connecting to one's heart, and making a healing journey on multiple levels.  Her work has broad application for anyone that needs to perform under pressure.  

And after you listen,  learn about, and register for our next Healing Circle here.  It’s virtual, there is no charge,  and you’ll find like-minded folks with whom to practice meditation, and share the journey toward unconditional health and well-being. 

You are always invited to join our Unconditional Healing Facebook group here.

Dr. Elaine Yuen is an educator, interfaith chaplain, Buddhist minister, and artist. She is the former chair of the Wisdom Traditions Department and associate professor at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado. Now retired, she continues to teach and write on pastoral caregiving (chaplaincy), contemplative education, and Buddhist studies. She recently moved back to Philadelphia where she was an associate professor, researcher, and interfaith chaplain at Thomas Jefferson University. 

Our conversation focuses on Elaine’s work as a chaplain, a keen interest of mine and very synchronous with Unconditional Healing since it relates to working with people at often the very worst moment of their lives. Having been trained as an interfaith chaplain, and as a Buddhist minister, we discuss Elaine’s abiding interest in bringing caring and authentic presence to all of our social interactions.  
We also discuss Elaine’s early upbringing as a Christian, her interest in spirituality, and how she auspiciously met her Buddhist teacher, (who happens to be my root teacher as well).  We also delve into her work as a skilled artist and teacher of what is known as Shambhala Art or Dharma Art…. as well as the concept of “Art in Everyday Life”, where even seemingly mundane activities can be viewed as artistic endeavors. 

 Along those lines, Elaine discusses the practice of knitting as a natural mindfulness practice and vehicle for slowing down in an increasingly frenetic world.  We also discuss the ancient Japanese art form of Kintsugi, taking broken pottery and healing and transforming it in both function and form.  With both disciplines, Elaine has created workshops to bring these beautiful practices to both older and younger participants.

Information on Elaine's many projects can be found here.

Please join me in conversation with a woman whose life and work truly exemplify presence, grace, and compassion.