Explore every episode of the podcast Two Nerd Tables and a Microphone

"I would avoid that cave of yonder. People go there and come back...different. Just avoid the sea-cave at all costs okay????"

 

We made a jeskai merfolk that's letting all your cards escape.

This week's mechanic is:

Escape: (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost)

"Tezzeret is such a strange boy. He's always making little knick knacks that never seem to do more than self distruct."

We made a four color golem that's a sweeper on a stick.  

This week's mechanic is:

Pack tactics — Whenever CARDNAME attacks, if you attacked with creatures with total power 6 or greater this combat, ...

"Pus-Axe be the one. Never forget my name. NEVER FORGET!"

 

We made a 4 color troll that's a bit stinky, but likes high profile friends.

This week's mechanic is:

convoke:  (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for  or one mana of that creature's color.)

"The berserker legions of Kalimdor are unstoppable. They swarm. They rampage. And when they finally seemed pushed back, very ice comes to their aid."

We made a mono blue stax-y wall. Prepare to piss your friends off.

This week's mechanic:

Enrage: Whenever this creature is dealt damage...

"The ritual is almost complete! Just a few more things are needed. Eye of newt, snake skin, and just some of my own blood. There...wait...was that wro... ..."

-Unknown

With Duskmourn on the horizion, we dimir demon illusion who's bringing some serious value to your board.

This week mechanic:

Survival: At the beginning of your second main phase, if Veteran Survivor is tapped... 

Thanks to this week's sponser Andrew Swanson presents the Dead Sea Scrolls.

"Our experiements have yielded some...interesting results. She seemed useless, until she ate. We may be able to bolster our ranks faster than anticipated."

 

We made a simic ooze who loves to eat.

This week's mechanic is:

Incubate: Incubate N (Create an Incubator token with N +1/+1 counters on it and “: Transform this artifact.” It transforms into a 0/0 Phyrexian artifact creature.)

 

"Why are all the recovered machines missing parts? All of them. Each one has a weapon system that's been removed. This is most troubling..."

We made a Dimir germ that makes his own weapons.

This week's mechanic:

Liveing Weapon: Living weapon (When this Equipment enters the battlefield, create a 0/0 black Phyrexian Germ creature token, then attach this Equipment to it.)

"Kridvod is never lonely. He has alllll his magical friends with him."

We made a mono red goblin that loves enchantments.

This week's mechanic:

conspire:  (As you cast this spell, you may tap two untapped creatures you control that share a color with it. When you do, copy it and you may choose a new target for the copy.)

"The ground quakes. Thrumb has awakened. Your end is nigh."

We made a Dune-brood elemental that will probably get banned in your play group because they clearly hate fun.

This week's mechanic:

converge: Converge — ... for each color of mana spent to cast it.

"The sands of time stop for no one. For some, we can excelerate the movement."

We made a bant centaur who's dashing friends onto the battlefield.

This week's mechanic:

Dash: [cost] (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it's returned from the battlefield to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.)

"Thassa usually kept her pet under lock and key. But sometimes she was asked to provide an army in a hurry."

We made a Grixis octopus that swings hard and fast.

This week's mechanic:

Battalion: Whenever this card and at least two other creatures attack, …

"There's no stoping him. Why even try? He has a never ending supply of those damned bricks. No one will ever get in to see Mizzix with him around."

WE. ARE. BACK!

After a year of fartin around, we decided to grace the airwaves once again. This week we come at you with an Izzet goblin who's here throwing fists(or bricks).

This week's mechanic: 

Renown: N (Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, if it isn't renowned, put N +1/+1 counter on it and it becomes renowned.)

 

"Every army should a have battle cry. You know, to strike fear. One might say he uh...takes it to new heights." -Izzet bodygaurd.

We made a berserker for everyone's favorite mage guild. 

This week's mehcanic is:

Afflict: Afflict N (Whenever this creature becomes blocked, defending player loses N life.)

"What do you mean your raising my property tax! I'll lose everything!"

We made a politics commander that just wants everything to go. Even it's own stuff.

This week's mechanic is:

Vanishing: Vanishing N (This permanent enters the battlefield with N time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from it. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)

"It's nothing you've ever seen. It billows black ichor across everything it touches. Nothing living survives it's touch. The land itselft dies, never to recover."

We made a phyrexian horror that blows up lands and spreads disease.

This week's mechanic is:

Infect: Infect (This creature deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters and to players in the form of poison counters.)

"He was protector of the woods until Norn showed up. Now he's nothing more than violence sent out to weaken the front lines."

We made a Gruul troll trying to draw cards...and beat dat ass of course.

This week's mechanic:

Proliferate:  (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.) 

"He infests every corner of your dreams. His minions crawl through your mind even as you wake...He's my greatest creation." -Ashiok

We drummed up a fun esper insect horror who your friends are gonna love(hate).

This week's mechanic is:

Dash: Dash [cost] (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it's returned from the battlefield to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.)

"One guy tried callin'im 'The Land Shark...' I miss Jim."

We made a Dimir merfolk rogue that's here to help you ramp, and smack your friends, but just a little bit.

This week's mechanic is:

Explore:  (Reveal the top card of your library. Put that card into your hand if it's a land. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature, then put the card back on top or into your graveyard.)

"Slimgix always had friends around to help him look for his belongings. One after the other they would show up always there to help him find his lost stuff."

Holy hell we are inconsistent as of late. But we're still here. We're still weird. And we made all yall a fun goblin who loses everything.

This week's mechinic is:

Hellbent:  — as long as you have no cards in hand a thing happens.

"Even angels keep journals. Sigarda has one. She keeps it close like it's a sheild for something."                - Saytr commoner

Another week, another Selesnya creature. But this week, it's also a saga. 

 

This week's mechanic is:

Hideaway: Hideaway N (When this permanent enters the battlefield, look at the top N cards of your library, exile one face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.)

"Her fasicantion with the dead was frowned upon. That is, until they needed an army to hold back the Phyrexian tide." - Stonebrow

 

This week we made ourselves a selesnya centaur who loves herself some zombies. We also talk about cum...ALOT. Sorry.

 

This week's mechanic is:

Toxic: Toxic N (Players dealt combat damage by this creature also get N poison counter(s).)

Barty was always a strange one. Never had any friends. Never socializing. Honestly, he only liked being with himself. - Martha Blackwood.

We're back!! And this week we made a bant vampire who loves to party, but only invites himself. 

This week's mechanic is:

Surveil N (Look at the top N cards of your library, then put any number of them into your graveyard and the rest on top of your library in any order.)
Surveil 1 (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

Crak'Vak smiled as he raised his arms. He had all the energy he needed to win. We made a ramping orzhov spellslinger. This week's mechanic is: Magecraft: Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, ...

This is a lost episode! It's a surprise even to me! ENJOY!...I don't know why I'm shouting!

"They never saw me coming..." We made a rad esper spider ninja who shows up when your opponent least expects(or wants). This week's mechanic is: Prowess: Creatures with prowess get +1/+1 until end of turn whenever a noncreature spell is cast by their controller

"This troll's a menace! Everything just falls into place for her. Just keep her away from her minions, and we'll be fine!" -Simic Geneticist We made a golgari troll, ya'll. And she likes he friends to be joined at the hip. This week's mechanic: Soulbound: (You may pair this creature with another unpaired creature when either enters the battlefield. They remain paired for as long as you control both of them.)

"Havir is relentless. When he shows, and he always does, running is the only option." We made a big ol bird giant who shows up swinging. This week's mechanic is: Bloodthirst N (If an opponent was dealt damage this turn, this permanent enters the battlefield with N +1/+1 counters on it.)

"The Myr by nature are servants. They follow no matter the order. But Uvi is different. I have plans for Uvi" - Tezzeret It's episode 100!!...and we forgot until the very end of the podcast. But we did make a really fun four color myr who has all sorts of fun abilities. This week's mechanic: Fading: (This creature enters the battlefield with N fade counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a fade counter from it. If you can't, sacrifice it.)

"We no fight. The forest is alive, and killed many." -goblin underling We once again made a land creature. This time it's for your hot turbo fog deck I know you've been thinking about making. This week's mechanic is: Absorb: Absorb N (If a source would deal damage to this creature, prevent N of that damage.)

"Every is gone, sir...What do you mean gone? Sir...it destroyed everything." We made a real mean 4 color ooze that just doing pod things and creature things and pod things. This week's mechanic is: Reinforce: [cost] ([Cost], Discard this card: Put N +1/+1 counters on target creature.)

"The eldrazi are never truly gone. They escaped the void once, sending them back means nothing." We made an eldrazi processor playing with 1/1 counters. This week's mechanic is: Devour: (As this enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice any number of creatures. This creature enters the battlefield with N times that many +1/+1 counters on it.)

"She came from the sea, and walked with grace. We felt safe in her presence. Our enemies...they might say different." We made a simic merfolk(weird) who's bouncing enchantments. This week's mechanic: Aura Swap: ([Cost]: Exchange this Aura with an Aura card in your hand.)

" We saw it off in the distance. An island with calm water to rest our ships for the night. But as we neared, it seemed to dodge the fleet. Forcing us back into the open ocean. In hindsight, I'm thankful that's all it did." We made a turtle island who makes friends, lets you recast sorceries, AND is a mana rock. He's out here. Just...vibing. This week's mechanic is: Flashback: (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

"He's just so violent," she complained. Edgar chuckled. "My dear, he's just bitter he can't see himself anymore. He'll find away to cope, I'm sure." We made a vampire artificer that LOVES to look at himself. This week's mechanic is: Squad: (As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may pay [cost] any number of times. When this creature enters the battlefield, create that many tokens that are copies of it)

"You can't trust ANYONE here. You never know who is real." -Gruul berserker We're using the last of the New Capenna mechanics this week with our fun burn changeling. This week's mechanic is: Alliance: Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control...

"Be careful what you wish for. Because someone is always there to take it." -Su'Leu We made an esper fairy that looooooves treasures. This week's mechanic: Ascend: (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city’s blessing for the rest of the game.)

"They laughed aloud, at the silly donkey clowns. Then OozeKnuckle showed, and burned down the town." We made a noggle wizard who's not afraid to hurt himself to win. This week's mechanic is: Amass: amass N “If you don't control an Army creature, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token. Choose an Army creature you control. Put N +1/+1 counters on that creature.”

"The shores were safe. Year upon year we were safe. She left, but always came back when most needed. But one day, she came back different." We made a merfolk wizard ready to curse and loot and sacrifice and probably party. This week's mechanic: Offering: (You may cast this card any time you could cast an instant by sacrificing a [Subtype] and paying the difference in mana costs between this and the sacrificed [Subtype]. Mana cost includes color.)

"Wood creaked as metal and brick hard chitin scraped against one another twisting into an unrecognizable mass. The beast had found it's host, and finally taken shape." We made a witchmaw, eldrazi, boat that makes your friends mill. This week's mechanic: Ingest: (Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player exiles the top card of their library)

"Riku's apprentice is not what you think. He's less...subtle. More of an all or nothing kind of wizard." We made temur bird wizard who goes all in on copies. This week's mechanic: Storm: (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn. You may choose new targets for the copies.)

He emerged from the Trial of Uncertainty alone. Beaten, glass eyed, and cold, Gilvac had done it. He'd finally bested his brother. We made a Naya exile commander that's gonna blow your stuff up. Strap in, he's a mean one. We(Andrew) also speaks out against god. It gets weird this week. This week's mechanic is: Exile" removed from the game..."

Torth stumbled away from his fallen home. He was victorious, but at what cost. We made a rad Gruul commander who's pulling buds from his graveyard. This week's mechanic is: Double Strike: This creature deals both first-strike and regular combat damage.

"The clans found Ghez'rul only mostly dead, which was enough. They repurposed him after his failed theft to never fail them again." This week's mechanic: Raid: …, if you attacked this turn, …

The soldier cast the last bit of the vaults contents into the fire. "That's the last of it. Whatever all this stuff was, it's gone now." At that point the ground shuddered, and the grim statue began to stir. We made ourselves a big ol golem buddy who brings a lot of himself to the party. This week's mechanic: Delirium: If there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, …

"Oh no. She's here. Everyone! Prepare for the worst, or we'll be more more lost than our foe!" Zizrot is here to steal your lands, and has brought all her friends with her. This week's mechanic is: Sweep — Return any number of [basic land] you control to their owner's hand. ...

"He's a great worker. But for someone who stays late almost every night, he never seems to know why all the graves end up empty." We made a mono white ascend matters commander that's out here just filling up(and also removing)all the graveyards. This week's mechanic is: Ascend: (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city’s blessing for the rest of the game.)

"He can never just show up alone, can he? He always brings a damn entourage where ever he goes." Kirthis is here to party and he brought all his robot friends with him. We have a fun selesnya artificer that never parties alone. This week's mechanic is: Fabricate: (When this permanent enters the battlefield, you may put N +1/+1 counters on it. If you don't, create N 1/1 colorless Servo artifact creature tokens.)

"The stylish design and sophisticated feel of The Mry Battle Cycle will make you the talk of the town. The genuine Mirriodin steel mesh leather seats, and Phyrexian bio-infused claws will win over even the most finicky of critic." We made a fucking TRANSFORMER! Our very first colorless commander, and it's a pretty sweet modal card. This week's mechanic: Amass: (Put N +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. If you don't control one, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.)

"If you see one, retreat. Because the swarm is on the horizon, and it is relentless." We. Are. Back! Coming in hot after a two week hiatus. We have a fun Izzet commander that's all about making friends that your opponents should probably block. This week's mechanic is: Frenzy: Frenzy N (Whenever this creature attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +N/+0 until end of turn.)

"Yes! Show them you destructive power!" The perplexed garrison watched Aredes as he loudly praised his summoned beasts. "Captain, a lone private shouted over the cacophonous roars of the hydra, I thought we were here to sign a peace treaty?" We made a bant centaur ready for some aggressive politics. This week's mechanic is: Join Forces: Starting with you, each player may pay any amount of mana. ...