Explore every episode of the podcast Two Cents gets Distracted - A Rugby Podcast

The Calm Before the Rugby Storm (and a Whole Lot of Bullshit)

Not a huge amount of rugby has happened this week, but bloody hell, there's a lot about to happen!

With the second half of the Nations Championship about to kick off, the Northern and Southern Hemispheres are preparing to go head-to-head in what promises to be an absolute feast of international rugby.

This week on Two Cents Gets Distracted, we dissect the big questions. Who's got the best No. 6? Who's got the best of every other kind of six? Which teams are on the rise, which are heading backwards, and what would constitute a pass mark—or an absolute disaster—for each nation?

We look ahead to some mouth-watering matchups, make a few bold predictions, and attempt to sound like we know what we're talking about.

But with bugger-all rugby actually played this week, we also spend a considerable amount of time talking absolute bullshit.

So, if you love rugby, questionable analysis, wild tangents and two blokes getting distracted by their own conversations, you've come to the right place.

Grab a beer AND ENJOY

Well, well, well. Would you look at that? The All Blacks have gone and absolutely PUMPED the Wallabies. AGAIN.

And my word, that first half was a thing of beauty.

Champagne rugby. Free-flowing attack. Forward dominance. And a Wallabies defence that looked like it had collectively forgotten how tackling works.

The All Blacks piled on 36 points in the first half, and just three minutes into the second, they'd reached 43! Arguably the best rugby we've seen from them under Dave Rennie. It was glorious.

And at the heart of it all? BEAUDEN MOTHERFLIPPIN' BARRETT.

The old boy turned back the clock, bagged himself two tries, silenced the doubters, and reminded everyone of a very important lesson: Form is temporary. Class is permanent. And that man is ALL class.

But then... something happened.

The second half arrived, the champagne went flat, the injury stoppages piled up, the TMO decided to get involved, and the Wallabies finally remembered they were allowed to play rugby too. What had looked like a potential cricket score turned into a slightly frustrating second-half slog.

Still, a 43–21 thumping is a 43–21 thumping. We'll take it!

We dissect the good, the bad, and the slightly baffling from another All Blacks demolition job.

And, at long last, WE'RE TALKING WOMEN'S RUGBY!

Ding dong! The Red Roses' extraordinary 41-match unbeaten run is OVER!

Canada have finally knocked England off their perch with a historic 24–21 victory in Toronto, in front of a record-breaking crowd of 18,621 fans. An incredible performance, a dramatic finish, and exactly the sort of result women's rugby needs. We get stuck into what this means for the women's game.

Plus, the usual collection of tangents, absolute nonsense, and questionable rugby opinions.

Oh, and Mark has discovered the sound effects button on our recording software.

God help us all.

Anyway, grab a beer and enjoy

THE BLEDISLOE IS SAFE, BABY! 🏆🍻

After weeks of doom, gloom, injuries, nervousness and general All Blacks-induced depression, we headed into the fortress that is Eden Park with the Bledisloe Cup on the line and absolutely no idea what to expect.

Well, after a lightning start, a bit of a scare from the Wallabies up front, and some genuinely outstanding rugby, the All Blacks absolutely PUMPED the Aussies. And my God, we actually caught some aerial balls!

That's right. AERIAL BALLS. IN THE AIR. CAUGHT BY ALL BLACKS PLAYERS. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!

We won the aerial battle, dominated up front, and put together the kind of performance we've been crying out for. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, we're actually happy! And naturally, we've decided to sit down and talk about it.

Which probably means nobody will watch this episode, because apparently you sadistic bastards only tune in when we're miserable. Not that many of you watch us anyway, but still. We appreciate the suffering.

We break down the big win, look ahead to Bledisloe number two, talk our usual mountain of absolute bullshit, and bring back everyone's favourite utterly ridiculous game show: Post-Game Predictions of the URC!

It's a rare episode featuring two relatively happy All Blacks fans. Make the most of it. Who knows how long it'll last?

Grab a beer and enjoy! 🍻

Not a massive week of international rugby… so naturally, we got distracted.

With not too much happening on the Test rugby front, we take a slight detour this week. There’s a bit of chat about the NRL Grand Final, a quick look ahead to the Bledisloe Cup, Ardie Savea signing with the Blues, and the growing excitement around getting back to Eden Park.

But really, this episode belongs to you lot.

We dive into a stack of listener questions covering everything from the very real financial struggles facing New Zealand Rugby, to what our try celebrations would look like if either of us ever managed to score one. Some questions get serious answers. Others… considerably less so.

And before any of that, Tony takes everyone on an unnecessarily long journey through the mystery of a horrific smell that appeared in his car — and the increasingly desperate hunt to find out where the hell it was coming from.

A quick warning: we had a couple of audio gremlins right at the start of this one. Bear with us for the first five minutes or so and everything sorts itself out.

Grab a beer, send in your questions, and enjoy.

Australia did the unthinkable this week and beat South Africa.

Yes, yes, we know — “it was basically a B team.” But it was still the team Rassie put out there to win the game, and they couldn’t get it done. So perhaps that much-vaunted South African depth isn’t quite as deep as advertised.

There were still some seriously good players in that Springbok side, but throwing them all together and expecting instant cohesion proved a little ambitious.

That said… they very nearly bloody won it anyway.

Australia completely imploded late in the game, the communications at Optus Stadium completely shat the bed, Andrea Piardi appeared to spend half the match on the phone, and cards started flying out like it was Christmas. Four cards in a ridiculously short space of time somehow left Australia down to 11 men.

South Africa naturally piled on the pressure, but somehow the Wallabies held on for what has to go down as both a famous win and one of the most farcical, entertaining and downright absurd games of rugby we’ve seen in a while.

Elsewhere, we get into the newly named All Blacks squad. Frizell is back. Barrett is back. Darries — thanks for coming. Ruben Love has unfortunately done himself a mischief and is out, but overall the squad is looking pretty strong.

And Australia suddenly don’t look like the easy beats some people might have expected either. Under Les Kiss, there are signs that something pretty interesting might be building.

We talk about all of it, have a couple of beers, go wildly off topic and talk plenty of bullshit — exactly as you’d expect from Rugby’s Greatest Podcast.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Two Cents Gets Distracted.

In another deeply upsetting week, the All Blacks blew their chance to square the Greatest Rivalry Series at 2–2 and were instead wholly and completely beaten by the Springboks, who deservedly wrapped things up 3–1.

Much to our disappointment and dismay, the right team won.

Despite what some might call a few 50–50 calls. Were they really 50–50 calls, though? Or is Tony just a bit sour? Who knows, really.

Anyway, we go deep on the final Test, assess where both squads are at, lick our wounds, talk some bullshit, and then finally look beyond the Greatest Rivalry Series at what else is happening in the wonderful world of rugby.

Hopefully, at some point soon, we can stop making thumbnails with sad faces. Getting a bit sick of this.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Thanks to Severn River Rugby Football Club for the beers.

https://www.severnriverrugby.org/

One of the most depressing weeks we’ve ever had to record Two Cents Gets Distracted.

Soak it up, Springbok fans. Your team was better. You won the series in South Africa, and we are very, very sad.

Despite a pretty decent effort from the All Blacks and a cracking start, the Springboks eventually proved their class — particularly at set piece, where we had absolutely no answers.

And then came the moment.

Will Jordan scores. For a few glorious seconds, we tasted hope. Joy. Possibility.

Then it all turned to ashes in our mouths as we sat through perhaps the most painful 15 minutes of Springbok dominance imaginable, watching them completely take the game away from us.

So, naturally, we talk about it. We unload. We grieve. We attempt to process what happened. It is a bitter, bitter pill to swallow.

We also cover Argentina vs Australia — a draw that, from Tony’s perspective at least, was pretty hard to get too excited about after everything we’d just witnessed.

And a massive thanks to Four Paws for sponsoring the NPC segment. What an absolute champion that bloke is.

Grab a beer, Springbok fans enjoy our sadness, and let’s get into it.

Masiev thanks Again to 4paws!!

A very sad week in the 2CGD household as the Springboks get up and beat the All Blacks in Test Two of the greatest rivalry in rugby.

And, annoyingly, it was an absolute cracker.

Two contrasting styles, two heavyweight teams going at each other, and another reminder of exactly why this rivalry is so bloody good. Unfortunately, this one didn’t go our way, which leaves the series locked at 1–1 and sets up a massive, mouth-watering Game Three — the unofficial decider at FNB Stadium in the Republic.

Far more important, obviously, than that little moneymaker happening in Baltimore.

We go deep on the second Test: where it was won and lost, what the Boks did well, what the All Blacks will be kicking themselves about, and what needs to change ahead of the big one.

Tony also goes on a completely calm and measured rant about the outrage surrounding Dave Rennie having the sheer audacity to mention something to the media. We certainly can’t think of any other international rugby coach whose name begins with R who might occasionally use the media to apply a little pressure…

Cough cough, Rassie. Cough cough.

We also touch on the Lions v All Blacks opportunity that popped up during the week, start building toward the enormous third Test, and — because we’re nothing if not thorough — try not to completely forget about our friends in Australia and Argentina.

The Wallabies are quietly putting together something resembling a winning streak. What a time to be alive.

It’s a bit of a doozy.

Grab a beer, settle in, and enjoy.

What. A. Weekend.

The All Blacks have drawn first blood in the Greatest Rivalry Series, knocking over the much-vaunted Springboks in a result that has Tony desperately attempting to remain humble and gracious in victory. Unfortunately, humility has never really been his strong suit. Mark is much better at that sort of thing.

And somehow, the All Blacks actually fucking did it.

For long periods, it felt like the Boks had them under enormous pressure. The scrum was creaking, the high-ball battle was brutal, and physically South Africa seemed to have the upper hand. But instead of folding, the All Blacks did something we haven't seen nearly enough of lately: they played like an All Blacks team.

They absorbed the pressure. They stayed in the fight. And when opportunities appeared, they absolutely feasted.

Five tries to one tells part of the story, but the bigger story was efficiency. South Africa had pressure, territory and dominance in key areas, but couldn't turn enough of it into points. New Zealand, meanwhile, lived off scraps and somehow made every post a winner. Give them half a sniff and — by God — they took it.

We break down all the ins, outs, heroes, concerns and glorious moments from Test One before turning our attention to Cape Town, where a wounded Springbok side will undoubtedly be waiting with violence in their hearts.

It is going to be significantly harder.

And yet...

We're quietly starting to think the All Blacks might be able to fucking do this again.

Plus, in considerably less important but equally satisfying news, Tony's North Harbour got one over Mark's Auckland in the Battle of the Bridge.

The All Blacks win. Harbour win. Tony wins.

It's all coming up Milhouse.

Springbok fans: commiserations. We're trying not to be smug.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Two Cents Gets Distracted – Greatest Rivalry Series Preview

In a week where the hype is about as hyped as it can possibly be, the speculation is about as speculative as it can possibly be, and our bullshit talking is about as bullshit as it can possibly be… we are finally here.

We sit on the precipice of one of the biggest rugby events in recent memory — more than 30 years in the making — as Test One of the Greatest Rivalry Series: All Blacks vs South Africa is about to kick off.

The All Blacks arrive after three relatively straightforward outings against South African opposition. There was a bit of a wobble against the Stormers early doors, but the Sharks and Bulls were dispatched without too much drama.

So… should New Zealand be feeling confident?

Or has Rassie Erasmus been playing 4D chess again, deliberately lulling the All Blacks into a false sense of security? Were the South African franchises mysteriously instructed not to box kick so the All Blacks wouldn't get any proper preparation?

Conspiracy theories? Absolutely.

Any chance we actually know what we're talking about? Probably not.

Then there are the Boks themselves — back-to-back world champions, as they very much enjoy reminding everybody, over and over and over again.

They've been relatively quiet, relatively private, but now it's all starting to come to the fore. Are they slightly undercooked? Could there be some rust after their last showing against Argentina? Or was the evil mastermind Rassie simply keeping his powder dry for the series that really matters?

The bullshit is high. The speculation is higher. And the hype is very, very real.

And it's about to get even more real.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

A massive thank you to metal's greatest band, Sorcerot, for sponsoring the podcast. Go check out their album Rotten Magic at the link below, and tell them you were sent by the good fellas at Two Cents Gets Distracted.. Go here to here their awesome Album Rotten Magick - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiWye7-B2es&list=RDLiWye7-B2es&start_radio=1&t=1318s

The Greatest Rivalry Tour is officially underway, and naturally that means it’s time for everyone to start drawing enormous conclusions from a handful of rugby games that probably don’t deserve enormous conclusions.

First up, the All Blacks took on the Stormers in Cape Town and, for a good chunk of the game, it was a seriously butt-puckering affair. The All Blacks stuttered, spluttered and at times played more like poo than an international rugby side, while an under-strength Stormers team — missing their Springboks — gave them absolute hell. The ageless Deon Fourie was somehow still out there causing problems, before the All Blacks eventually located their rugby brains, pulled away late and finished with a 38–21 win.

Then it was the Springboks’ turn, heading to Argentina with plenty of big names left back in South Africa but still carrying some serious quality. Against an under-strength Pumas side, however, they made life look considerably harder than anyone expected.

Cue several days of South African fans and pundits performing Olympic-level mental gymnastics explaining why the Bok performance was actually encouraging while the All Blacks’ was apparently evidence that New Zealand rugby had entered its final death spiral.

The more boring answer? There probably wasn’t that much to read into either game.

Then came Durban.

On a sodden track, the All Blacks faced the Sharks in game two of the Greatest Rivalry series — and suddenly Ma’a Nonu appeared in a Sharks jersey. Because apparently 2026 has completely stopped obeying the normal laws of rugby.

Before kick-off, Nonu produced one of the most surreal and memorable moments of the tour so far, standing alone and returning Kapa o Pango with a one-man haka.

Unfortunately for the Sharks, that was about as competitive as the evening got.

The All Blacks absolutely pumped a young Sharks side 54–0 in what eventually became more training run than test of character. Nonu arrived around the 60-minute mark, produced a couple of nice touches, and reminded everyone that he remains approximately 400 years old and still capable of playing professional rugby.

Elsewhere, Australia edged Japan in a relatively tight affair, we attempt to decide whether anything we’ve seen so far actually matters, and begin the inevitable overanalysis as the real meat of the Greatest Rivalry Tour creeps closer.

Sorry this one’s a little late.

Massive thanks to Sports4cast.com for the beers.

Grab a beer and Enjoy

We are officially sitting on the precipice of the Greatest Rivalry Tour — South Africa versus New Zealand — and, quite frankly, everybody is starting to lose their minds.

The All Blacks are in South Africa. The tour is happening. The hype machine is fully operational. And with the first Test still a good few weeks away, we have reached that wonderful stage where there is almost no actual rugby to analyse, so naturally everybody is just speculating about absolutely everything.

The South Africans, in particular, are talking an extraordinary amount of shit about how dominant they're going to be. In some quarters, the All Blacks have already been written off completely.

And then you've got people like Tony, who for reasons that may or may not be grounded in reality, are starting to feel... quietly confident.

Is that confidence justified?

Is it delusion?

We'll find out soon enough.

Until then, this podcast is basically speculation about speculation, followed by some more speculation, as everybody gets increasingly worked up about a series that hasn't even bloody started yet.

There is, however, some actual rugby to talk about.

The All Blacks take on the Stormers this weekend in the first little taste of the Greatest Rivalry Tour. What sort of team do the All Blacks put out? What do the Stormers look like without their Springboks? And why, despite all of that, are we still weirdly nervous about it?

Meanwhile, the Boks are just popping over to Argentina for a casual one-off Test against a slightly depleted Los Pumas side — which, let's be honest, they will probably absolutely rinse.

But all of that is merely the entrée.

The real thing is coming.

The All Blacks are in South Africa. The Springboks are waiting. The shit-talking has begun. The nerves are building. The optimism is getting dangerously high.

It's stressful. It's exciting.

And it is officially on like Donkey Kong.

The first block of the Nations Championship is done, and the All Blacks—much to our delight—finally played like bloody All Blacks.

For 40 glorious minutes at Eden Park, they were all over a slightly flailing Irish side. Ireland fought their way back into it after halftime, but putting 41 points on them and winning by 19 is a bloody good result. More importantly, it gives us a little bit of—keyword—optimism heading into the Greatest Rivalry Series.

Speaking of which, the Boks—or the B-Boks, C-Boks, or whatever version of the Boks was rolled out this week—put Wales away without too much trouble. South African fans weren’t exactly thrilled by the dropped ball and generally ordinary-looking performance, but they still won 43–0, and that scrum somehow looks even more terrifying than ever.

So, naturally, we dive into the All Blacks–Springboks rivalry and start looking ahead to the series we’ve all been waiting for. Tony throws a little chum into the water, so try not to bite too hard. It’s all banter at the end of the day. Probably. Rassie is definitely in our heads.

Elsewhere, Australia gave Joe Schmidt a fitting send-off by dominating Italy, Fiji scored some absolutely ridiculous tries despite losing to Scotland, and England and Argentina appeared to cram an entire year’s worth of yellow cards into one fiery, chaotic match.

Coming on the back of the spicy England–Argentina Football World Cup semifinal, the whole thing felt suitably hostile, slightly unhinged and, eventually, pretty entertaining.

We cover all of that, talk plenty of rugby and sprinkle in the usual amount of bullshit.

There’s no episode next week, but after the break, we’re going deep into South African content as the Greatest Rivalry Series finally arrives.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Week two of the Nations Championship delivered some incredible rugby, some average rugby, a few near-upsets, several glorious “could-have-beens,” and more than a handful of “why now?” and “why on earth are they playing there?” moments.

The All Blacks kicked things off against Italy in a match we were desperately hoping would be the moment Dave Rennie’s new team finally clicked. That may be a little demanding in only week two, but they certainly didn’t click during a fairly shambolic opening 40 minutes.

Things improved dramatically for about 15 minutes in the second half, when New Zealand suddenly piled on the points and eventually cruised to a 30-point victory. Will Jordan scored his 50th Test try, reaching the mark faster than any All Black before him, while Anton Segner made his long-awaited debut and Moby provided a tidy little cameo off the bench in his first Test as well.

Australia then produced a genuinely excellent first half against France, followed by an absolute dog-shit second half against France. What began as a hugely encouraging performance became another deeply deflating evening for Wallabies supporters around the world.

Ireland faced Japan in that famous fortress of Japanese rugby: Newcastle, Australia.

Why Newcastle, Australia, you may ask? Excellent question. Apparently Ireland didn’t fancy travelling to Japan, pushed their weight around and got their way. Japan made the match considerably tighter than expected, but Ireland eventually showed their class and pulled away.

England absolutely pumped Fiji, while the game of the round may have come in South Africa, where Scotland the Brave were once again incredibly brave.

The Springboks may not have fielded their absolute strongest side, but they were still expected to dominate. Instead, Scotland pushed them far closer than the final score suggests. With a little more clinical finishing, a bit more composure near the line and perhaps slightly more defence, this genuinely could have been the day Scotland finally won in the Republic.

Sadly, it wasn’t to be.

This week’s beers were kindly supplied by the great Andrew Stark from Tempo Rehab. Check out his work at temporehab.com and have a look at the Tempo Rehab YouTube channel as well. https://www.youtube.com/@tempo_rehab

Grab a beer and enjoy.

A weekend of pumpings.

Leinster pumped the Bulls in Ireland to claim the URC title. Our friends the Hurricanes looked incredible and gale-forced their way to a totally, utterly, humiliating pumping of the Chiefs in a frankly silly 60–50 loss. And in what is usually a bit of a laugh, the Barbarians taking on South Africa in the Republic looked slightly less like a laugh this time, as the Baa-Baas also received a reasonably serious pumping.

So if you were in dire need of some tight rugby, like some of us were, this was absolutely not the weekend for you.

That brings the domestic season to a close, with a little sprinkling of international flavour thrown in. But maybe the biggest story of the week eclipsed all of that: Dave Rennie naming his inaugural All Blacks squad.

Four new names were included, perhaps none more interesting than Anton Segner. The German-born loose forward came to New Zealand as a 15 or 16-year-old on what was basically a student exchange, and now, ten years later, he’s in the All Blacks. Quite an incredible story — especially after standing out in a poorly performing Blues outfit like a diamond in a sea of poo.

Stop it.

Also, a massive thanks to Allouran for the wine. We appreciate it very, very much.

Grab a beer and enjoy. Or, in this case, maybe a wine.

A weekend of pumpings.

Leinster pumped the Bulls in Ireland to claim the URC title. Our friends the Hurricanes looked incredible and gale-forced their way to a totally, utterly, humiliating pumping of the Chiefs in a frankly silly 60–50 loss. And in what is usually a bit of a laugh, the Barbarians taking on South Africa in the Republic looked slightly less like a laugh this time, as the Baa-Baas also received a reasonably serious pumping.

So if you were in dire need of some tight rugby, like some of us were, this was absolutely not the weekend for you.

That brings the domestic season to a close, with a little sprinkling of international flavour thrown in. But maybe the biggest story of the week eclipsed all of that: Dave Rennie naming his inaugural All Blacks squad.

Four new names were included, perhaps none more interesting than Anton Segner. The German-born loose forward came to New Zealand as a 15 or 16-year-old on what was basically a student exchange, and now, ten years later, he’s in the All Blacks. Quite an incredible story — especially after standing out in a poorly performing Blues outfit like a diamond in a sea of poo.

Also, a massive thanks to Allouran for the wine. We appreciate it very, very much.

Grab a beer and enjoy. Or, in this case, maybe a wine.

Two Cents Gets Distracted is back for Super Rugby semifinal weekend — a weekend where we were promised tension, drama, heartbreak, and possibly a couple of classic playoff arm-wrestles.

Instead, we got two absolute pumpings.

First up, the Crusaders — the playoff specialists, the heartbreak merchants, the team who have ruined so many perfectly good weekends for so many perfectly decent rugby fans — went up against one of the four teams of the year, the Chiefs.

We were all set for a tight one. A proper semifinal. A clash of heavyweights.

What we got was the Chiefs putting 30-plus points on them in the first half and turning the whole thing into something closer to a public execution than a rugby match. The score settled a little in the second half, but let’s be honest, the damage was done.

As neutrals, we probably wanted a contest.

As people who have watched the Crusaders cause untold emotional damage for years, we also didn’t entirely hate seeing them get pumped.

Then it was time for our Blues, who had absolutely no business being anywhere near a semifinal, but through the luck of some playoff-format nonsense found themselves lining up against the high-flying Harlem Hurricanes — or, frankly, the Harlem Globetrotter Hurricanes.

The Canes were slick. They were sharp. They were ridiculous.

There was a touch of skulduggery from our man Cam Roigard, but he got on with it, lifted the tempo, and the Hurricanes started doing Hurricanes things. To be fair to the Blues, the first half was at least a little tighter than the Chiefs-Crusaders game, with only four points in it at the break.

Then the second half happened.

The Hurricanes showed their class, the Blues forgot how defence works, and the Canes ended up putting 50-plus on them. Mercifully, the Blues’ season is now over, and we can all move on with our lives.

So now we get the final the competition probably needed: Chiefs vs Hurricanes at the Cake Tin. The two best, most in-form teams in Super Rugby going head-to-head.

Will they fill the tin to the brim? Who knows.

Can we please, for the love of all things holy, get a competitive game?

We also have a chat about the URC final coming up, with Leinster taking on the Bulls, and because this is Two Cents Gets Distracted, there are naturally a couple of technical difficulties to keep things spicy.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Massive thanks as well to Carl from Republic Home and his dad David for sponsoring the podcast. You can get 10% off by using the code 2CGD at republichome.com. Thanks for the beers, lads.

.There was also a heap of playoff rugby across the URC and Super Rugby, although if we’re being brutally honest, a lot of the games were a bit one-sided and a touch meh. Plenty of lovely tries, great skills, and individual moments of brilliance, but not a huge amount of jeopardy.

The URC probably delivered the better drama. Leinster were ultimately too good for the Stormers, but the Stormers made them work for it for a decent stretch. Meanwhile, the Bulls pulled off a cracking come-from-behind win against Glasgow, who were playing at Murrayfield — when, let’s be honest, they probably would’ve much rather been at their actual home ground.

In Super Rugby, things got a bit ridiculous. The Hurricanes, who qualified number one, played the Brumbies, who qualified sixth, and absolutely pumped them. Which raises the very fair question: what was the point of that game? The format seems designed to suck the jeopardy out of the tournament just so we can squeeze in three quarter-finals. Honestly, just give us a top four and be done with it.

Elsewhere, the Blues looked like they remembered how to play rugby for brief periods, before also remembering they had the defensive structure of a wet paper bag. The Crusaders put plenty on them down in Christchurch, and yet somehow, despite losing a worrying number of games in a row, the Blues are now semi-finalists thanks to the “lucky loser” system.

The best Super Rugby game of the weekend was probably Chiefs v Reds, even though the Chiefs still managed to win it relatively comfortably and end the Reds’ season.

So yes, we talk dads, rugby, playoff formats, lucky losers, one-sided quarter-finals, and the general absurdity of it all. Tony, in particular, has a bit of a whinge.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

This week’s episode comes with a small technical disclaimer: we absolutely butchered the video file, so due to corrupted footage, this one is mostly audio-only with a few tiny video scraps sprinkled in. Apologies — although, to be fair, we’ve never looked better.

But fear not, because the rugby chat survives.

After the usual world-class nonsense, we dive into the URC, where the semi-finalists are locked in and rugby fans in New Zealand are, of course, absolutely buzzing with excitement. No irony there whatsoever. In all seriousness, though, the final four should make for some cracking clashes, and we break down what’s coming.

Then it’s over to the final round of Super Rugby, where the Blues continued their late-season collapse by getting absolutely pumped by the Mooloo men of Waikato. Moana Pasifika delivered the feel-good story of the week, grabbing a win in what may sadly be their final game in existence. Meanwhile, the Crusaders — being the absolute bastards they are — appear to be coming right at exactly the right time.

And who gets to face them next week in Christchurch, at their shiny new stadium? The Auckland Blues, currently riding a four-game losing streak. Lovely.

Even better, thanks to the bizarre “lucky loser” setup, the Blues might still sneak through even if they lose. Because apparently even finals rugby doesn’t need actual jeopardy anymore.

We also touch on the Force, Waratahs, Highlanders, and look ahead to a weekend of knockout rugby, jump flights, jump sticks, and all the usual nonsense.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Two Cents Gets Distracted returns for another week of rugby nonsense, overreactions, and the occasional decent point.

This week: Leinster do what Leinster do best — rock up with what is basically a full international side (plus newly signed 88-test All Black Rico Ioane) and somehow still get absolutely folded in a big knockout game. Bordeaux go back-to-back in the Champions Cup and, sadly for the neutrals, it wasn’t even close. A full-scale French demolition job.

We also discuss the absolute unit that is Ben Tameifuna — less “tighthead prop” and more “small tectonic plate” — while Maxime Lucu continues to prove that if a certain Antoine Dupont didn’t exist, he might genuinely have a case as the best halfback on the planet right now.

Back home, the Chiefs and Crusaders gave us an absolute belter, and annoyingly… those pesky Crusaders are starting to look properly dangerous again. The Force’s finals dream is over, the Reds did enough to sneak through, and thankfully our Blues avoided embarrassment by employing the elite tactical strategy known as “having the bye.”

We cover every Super Rugby game, throw in a dangerous amount of nonsense chat, and somehow end up talking ourselves into several terrible opinions along the way.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Audio warning from the lads this week: the first 10 minutes are a bit cooked. We had some mic issues, so poor old Mark is a little quiet while we ramble about books, TV shows, random nonsense and even break into a strange little song at one point. It’s still listenable, but if you’re not interested in hearing two idiots talk absolute rubbish before the rugby starts, you can safely skip ahead without missing much.

Once we actually get to rugby, the big topic this week is the South African URC sides reportedly considering pulling out of the Champions Cup. Is the travel just too brutal? Are the players being run into the ground with basically year-round rugby? Are the South African teams really adding enough to justify the chaos? And are fans actually invested in it? We dive into all of it.

Back home, we break down another massive weekend of Super Rugby, including the Blues putting in an absolutely grim performance against the Hurricanes. Genuine dogs balls stuff. The Canes, meanwhile, just keep rolling from strength to strength.

We also cover a couple of brutal injuries from the weekend. Damian McKenzie copped a nasty head knock that’ll likely sideline him for a few weeks, while poor old Tangi Tao suffered a season-ending injury at the worst possible time after pushing hard into All Blacks contention. Proper heartbreaking luck for the bloke. As always, there are tangents, nonsense, overreactions, probably a few terrible takes and a couple of beers along the way.

Grab a beer and enjoy

Blockbuster semi-final weekend in the European Rugby Champions Cup, and things got spicy.

Leinster Rugby nearly pulled off an all-time choke job but somehow held on in a proper squeaky-bum finish—thanks in no small part to the unlikely Irish saviour Rieko Ioane, who shut the gate on a last-gasp attack that would’ve sent Dublin into meltdown.

Over in the other semi, Union Bordeaux Bègles got the job done against Bath Rugby in a cracking contest… though you’d be forgiven for missing parts of it while Andy Goode carried on like the ref had personally wronged him. Maybe he had a point—but mate, we get it.

Back home, Super Rugby Pacific rolls on:

• The Hurricanes keep humming, with Ruben Love making a serious case as the next All Blacks 10 👀
• The Crusaders… still lurking. Doubt them at your own risk
• The Blues got it done after a shaky start against Moana Pasifika
• The Highlanders and Fijian Drua battled to a sweaty stalemate
• The Western Force are making a cheeky late push after knocking off the Waratahs
• And the Reds piled more misery on the sliding Brumbies

All that… plus a generous serving of absolute nonsense.

Grab a beer and enjoy 🍺

Super Round heads to the brand-new Te Kaha Stadium in Christchurch… and what a way to christen it. A full weekend of footy, packed stands, cracking atmosphere, and a proper festival feel — the kind of rugby showcase Super Rugby dreams about. The stadium? Unreal. The crowds? Even better. The results? Well… depends which side of the Tasman you’re sitting on.

The Kiwi teams absolutely ran the table. The Crusaders kicked things off by beating Waratahs, sending the Christchurch faithful home very happy in game one. The Blues nearly gave their fans heart failure but somehow scraped past the Queensland Reds in full squeaky-bum, extra-time chaos — thanks in part to a late penalty from Fraser McReight that went the wrong way.

The Highlanders got the job done over Moana Pasifika, while the Chiefs handled the Fijian Drua. And the Hurricanes? Fehi Fineanganofo, WHAT A FREAK, too bad he's going to Newxastle. All in all — an absolute belter of a weekend, unless you’re Australian… in which case, maybe skip this one. We crack a couple of beers, break down the action, butcher a few names, and talk a healthy amount of nonsense along the way.

Grab a beer and enjoy

We’re back… and it’s a weird one.

After a month off while Tony went and did the whole “get married and eat his bodyweight in Thailand” thing, Two Cents Gets Distracted returns — slightly heavier, slightly rustier, and walking straight into some genuinely grim news.

This week, we unpack the potential demise of Moana Pasifika. What does it mean for Pacific rugby — a region that has given the game so much talent, passion, and identity? And more importantly… what now? Is there a real path forward, or are we watching another crack form in the already shaky foundations of Super Rugby?

Which leads us to the bigger question — what even is the future of Super Rugby? Is this still a competition built to last, or are we quietly edging toward the slow fade of what was once the pinnacle of provincial rugby?

Not all doom and gloom though — because the footy absolutely delivered.

We had a proper top-of-the-table belter between the Chiefs and the Hurricanes, the Blues nearly pulled off the all-time choke in a game they had no business losing, and the Force did the unthinkable by knocking over the Crusaders (which, let’s be honest, brings a smile to most faces).

All that, plus the usual nonsense, tangents, and questionable takes.

We’re back. Grab a beer and enjoy.

This week on Two Cents Get Distracted, the biggest story in world rugby… is that Tony’s getting married. That’s right — the pre-wedding special is here, and we spend a fair chunk of time talking about love, life, and how on earth Tony convinced Lydia this was a good idea.

Eventually — and we mean eventually — we stumble our way into some rugby after sampling some deeply questionable smoothie beers courtesy of our mate Erin. They’re odd. Very odd.

On the field, James Slipper cements himself as an all-time great, breaking Wyatt Crockett’s Super Rugby caps record, and the Brumbies celebrate in style with a gritty, never-say-die win that looked well beyond them at one point.

Proper tough footy. Elsewhere: The Reds get it done in Lautoka, while the Drua forget how to catch and Glenn Jackson nearly combusts Moana Pasifika come unstuck against the Crusaders at North Harbour The Hurricanes continue their upward trend, brushing aside a struggling Highlanders side And the rest? Rugby happened. It always does. We talk about it… sort of.

Plus, the return of the world’s fastest-growing game show: 🎯 Post URC Post-Match Predictions — where Tony, who hasn’t watched a single URC game (because… 3am), attempts to predict results after they’ve already happened. It’s as stupid as it sounds. 🚨 Important announcement: This is our last episode for a little while! We’re taking about a month off while Tony ties the knot and heads off on honeymoon.

So for now — Grab a beer and enjoy

Fresh (barely) off Tony’s stag do on Saturday night, the rugby gods showed absolutely zero mercy… delivering one of the most chaotic, dramatic, and all-time great Six Nations finales we’ve ever witnessed.

Running on fumes and questionable life choices, Tony and Mark try to make sense of a weekend that had everything.

Wales finally get their moment—after weeks of showing promise without reward, they get the chocolates against a dangerous Italy side that just couldn’t quite fire when it mattered.

Scotland… well, Scotland did what Scotland do against Ireland. Ireland get the job done with a bonus point win, and for a brief, slightly nauseating moment, found themselves as diehard England fans, praying for one last twist.

And then… it happened.

A battered, doubted, and heavily criticised Steve Borthwick-led England side almost pulled off the unthinkable—before Thomas Ramos, the ice man himself, stepped up and absolutely ripped their hearts out with a clutch extra-time penalty to seal it for France.

Three unreal games. Absolute chaos. Championship on the line. Limbs everywhere.

We break it all down—with a healthy dose of nonsense, questionable analysis, and lingering hangovers.

Apologies in advance for any audio issues… but grab a beer and enjoy 🍻

Italy made history, beating England for the first time ever on their 33rd attempt. Can they rebuild before facing the French next week? We’re not so sure.

Meanwhile, Scotland pulled off a massive upset over France, denying the French a Grand Slam and blowing the Six Nations wide open heading into the final weekend. Now the title is still up for grabs, with Ireland and France both in the hunt in what promises to be a blockbuster finish.

And Wales… the team we all confidently labelled as absolute rubbish… might not actually be rubbish. They went down to Ireland, but defended like demons and showed genuine signs of life, including one of the most glorious prop-forward tries you’ll ever see.

We also cover the huge news of Dave Rennie being appointed the next All Blacks coach through to the World Cup, wrap up all the Super Rugby action, and spend a completely reasonable amount of time gloating about the fact that our Blues beat the Crusaders… and we were there to see it.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

A Big Thankyou to Rugby Historian!!

Go check out their awesome site! rugbyhistorian.com

No Six Nations. No international drama. Just pure, unfiltered Super Rugby… and chaos.

With Europe taking the week off, all eyes turned south — and unfortunately for us (and especially for Mark), Australia decided to wake up and choose violence. The Blues found yet another soul-crushing way to lose, going down in the 81st minute in overtime. Yes, the 81st. Yes, Mark is still processing. No, he is not okay.

The Crusaders finally remembered how to win, knocking off the Chiefs after the Waikato boys absolutely flew out of the blocks. The Drua defended the fortress in Lautoka, toppling a fancied Hurricanes side and proving that Fiji remains one of the most terrifying away trips in world rugby.

With no major international storylines to anchor us, things got loose. There’s fear. There’s frustration. There’s a generous serving of absolute nonsense. And somehow, we still talk rugby.

Strap in. Grab a beer. And enjoy the spiral.

It was a weekend of our favourite sporting delicacy: beautiful, chaotic upsets and we are absolutely feasting. Ireland didn’t just beat England… they systematically dismantled them, with Jamison Gibson-Park running the show like a man who had the English defence on puppet strings. Every counter looked dangerous, every breakdown felt Irish, and England had absolutely no answers.

Down south, the rugby gods delivered something even more outrageous: the Crusaders didn’t just lose — they got hammered. The Brumbies dropped a half-century on them in Christchurch for their first win there in 26 years. Nobody saw it coming, everybody enjoyed it (well… almost everybody). Wales, after weeks of looking like rugby’s saddest soap opera, finally resembled a functioning rugby side again. They still went down to a street-tough, slightly fortunate Scotland — but at least this time there were signs of life and something to actually laugh with instead of at.

We also get stuck into France continuing to look like the team to beat, Italy continuing to be awkwardly competitive, and a Super Rugby round that delivered chaos, entertainment, and confirmation that the Blues still look shaky even when they scrape past the Force. Upsets, chaos, schadenfreude, and a healthy dose of nonsense.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

This week on Two Cents Gets Distracted, Scotland did the most Scottish thing imaginable.

Lose to Italy… then immediately turn around and snap England’s 12-game winning streak.

Yes, the Scots beat the English. The rugby world rejoiced. Bagpipes were heard from space. We are, frankly, delighted.

Meanwhile, Wales have somehow discovered new geological layers of rock bottom. France treated them like training cones, playing Harlem Globetrotters rugby with offloads, flair, and the kind of ominous swagger that should concern literally everyone.

Italy vs Ireland? Suddenly… tight? Competitive? Slightly terrifying if you’re Irish? Is this an Italian renaissance, or are we witnessing the slow fade of Ireland’s golden generation? We attempt to answer that question with absolutely no qualifications whatsoever.

Plus — Super Rugby is back! The Crusaders lost (we celebrate responsibly). The Blues also lost (less fun). Balance has been restored to the universe.

All that, plenty of nonsense, and a decent helping of rugby chat.

Grab a beer and enjoy

This week the Six Nations roared and rusted to life. We kick things off with France coming out hotter than a sizzling baguette at Stade de France, leaving Ireland flatter than day-old Guinness.

Then, we revel in Italy’s glorious ambush of Scotland,proving once again that it’s tough being Scottish. And, if you thought Wales couldn’t dig deeper, think again: their performance was a full-on Fawlty Towers episode, while England casually strolled in and gave them a rugby spanking.

We also look forward to Super Rugby getting started and unpack some of the new law changes.

Grab a beer and enjoy

Fresh off our summer break, this first episode of the year drops us straight back into the deep end as we’re still reeling from the bombshell that Razor has been fired. The coaching carousel is already spinning: is Jamie Joseph next in line? ? Or are we about to be introduced to a whole new cast of weird and wonderful rugby powerbrokers?

We also turn our attention north, with the Six Nations kicking off — the “greatest rugby championship in the world”

As ever, expect a healthy mix of hot takes, half-baked theories, international rugby hype, and a solid helping of nonsense.

Welcome back to Two Cents Gets Distracted — where we talk a lot of rubbish and just enough rugby to justify it.

Grab a beer and enjoy

Big thanks to sports4cast for the beers! - https://sports4cast.com/

The rugby world just got flipped upside down in the middle of summer. Scott “Razor” Robertson is out as All Blacks coach after a brutal internal review and reports suggest the players themselves led the charge.

From Ardie Savea’s alleged refusal to return under Razor, to questions about leadership, culture, and where New Zealand rugby goes next, Two Cents Gets Distracted drops an out-of-season emergency pod to unpack the biggest coaching bombshell in years.

Grab a beer and Enjoy

It’s the final episode of the year, and you know we’re not signing off without our annual dose of chaos. Welcome to the most prestigious, least credible, and proudly unhinged rugby awards show in existence:

The 2CGDS. Tony and Mark return to hand out a fresh selection of awards nobody asked for, celebrate the best and worst moments of the rugby year.

But this year’s finale also carries a weight as Gazza, hung up his boots last week. We take a moment to pay tribute to Gazza, Mark’s dad, a regular on his channel and a genuinely good bloke. A true character: warm, funny, honest, and utterly himself in every moment. Gazza brought joy to so many who watched him, and his presence became a much-loved part of the wider Two Cents community. He will be sorely missed.

So grab a beer, raise a glass for Gazza, and enjoy.

South Africa and Ireland finally squared off in Dublin… and instead of the blockbuster we were promised, we got a full-blown scrum-a-thon of Biblical proportions. The Bok scrum was so dominant it bordered on performance art, Ireland simply ceased to exist in certain dimensions of reality. Add a stack of cards and the whole thing descended into glorious, farcical chaos. (And no, we’re absolutely not criticising the match itself… because we enjoy being alive. Wink.)

England keep marching forward, seeing off a spirited Argentinian comeback as Los Pumas continue to prove they’re becoming a genuine world force. The All Blacks had their turn to comfortably dismiss Wales… though if you squint, you might spot a green shoot or two for the Welsh. Maybe. Hard to say. Probably not.

And over in the “Shambosal Tour of Doom,” Australia rack up their fourth straight loss in Europe — their worst run since 1965 — this time falling to a red-hot French team. At least there were a couple of absolute pearler tries to soften the blow.

All that, plus plenty of rugby chat, nonsense, tangents, and the usual helping of BS

Grab a beer and enjoy!

This week on Two Cents Gets Distracted, the All Blacks served up a bowl of crap to their fans as England handed us a brutal loss, crushing our hopes, rattling the fanbase, and putting Razor and his coaching staff squarely under the blowtorch. And yes, we rant about it. At length. With feeling. Meanwhile, the Boks battled past a fired-up Italian outfit despite copping a red card that may go down as one of the worst decisions of the entire rugby year. Ireland absolutely pumped the Aussies, Wales finally remembered what a win feels like, and Argentina pulled off an outrageous comeback because of course they did — they’re Argentina. All that plus a whole lot of BS chat, whinging, therapy, and emotional processing about the state of the All Blacks. Buckle in. It’s a spicy one.

Grab a beer and enjoy

Massive thanks to todays sponsor Sorcerot!

Sorcerot is a fantasy themed metal band from Northern Kentucky/Cincinnati. There is a full album stream that is free on youtube.

You can purchase CD/Vinyl/Tape through our bandcamp Links: Bandcamp for physical copies: https://sorcerot.bandcamp.com/album/rotten-magick Full album stream on Youtube:https://youtu.be/LiWye7-B2es?si=DwP6fXT7sWzPI_M3&t=1

This week, the All Blacks (dressed in white) and down to three yellow cards — somehow held off a charging Scotland to keep their undefeated record alive. The Boks ate a full red card and still produced the performance of the weekend, thumping a fired-up France at home. Australia stumbled their way into a famous loss to Italy, and England edged a brilliant-but-gassed Fiji side.

We chat all that and a lot of BS.

Grab a beer and enjoy

At Soldier Field, the All Blacks and Ireland combined for what could generously be described as a slow-motion car crash — a stop–start slog dominated by a pedantic referee, an eye-rolling red card, and enough resets to make you question your life choices. It was as attractive as… well, something deeply unattractive. Somehow, the All Blacks eventually clawed their way out of the mud and Ireland’s grasp to win, but by then, most viewers were emotionally bruised and spiritually broken.

Over in Twickenham, England pummelled the Wallabies with typical English enthusiasm for suffering — helped along by a peroxide-blonde prodigy who has everyone from pundits to your nan saying “this kid is special” with alarming confidence.

And at Wembley, the Springboks reduced Japan to rugby confetti in front of about twelve people and a seagull.

Grab a beer and enjoy

After a wee hiatus, we're back in time for International Rugby. We look ahead to the Autumn Internationals… or the Spring Internationals… depending on which hemisphere your face is currently in. Massive clashes are brewing, and we’re here to talk an Olympic-sized pile of rugby rubbish. Expect rugby chat, tangents, and at least one moment where we forget what game we were even talking about.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

The Springboks have done it again — back-to-back Rugby Championship titles and another reminder that their game plan is as brutal as it is effective. Argentina gave it everything, but South Africa were just too sharp, too dominant at scrum time.

Meanwhile, in a very wet Perth, the All Blacks splished, splashed, and scrapped their way past the Wallabies. It wasn’t pretty, but it was enough — a muddy finish to a messy season that still somehow ends on a high?

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Massive thankyou to this week's sponsor Raleigh Rugby.

https://raleighrugby.org/ GO THE VIPERS!!

This week, the Springboks turned the Pumas into mince, racking up 67 points and leaving rugby fans wondering if Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu is secretly a Dan Carter clone grown in a Pretoria lab. Over at Eden Park, the All Blacks and Wallabies treated us to a performance so scrappy it could’ve been filmed on VHS — but hey, the fortress still stands. And across the world, the Red Roses claimed World Cup glory, fending off a fearless Canadian side.

Grab a beer and enjoy

This week: Bledisloe at the Fortress (Eden Park, not your uncle’s shed), the Rugby Championship tighter than your old boots, and the Black Ferns’ heartbreak as Canada crash the party. Can the Canucks actually steal the chocolates from England? We’ve got thoughts… and distractions.

Grab a beer and Enjoy

Massive thanks to Rugby Debuts. Go Check out their awesome YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/ ⁨@RugbyDebuts⁩

We know why you’re here, and we don’t blame you. This week, we tumble headfirst into the pit of despair that is All Blacks fandom after the Springboks dished out a pumpings in New Zealand’s graveyard, Sky Stadium in Wellington.

There’s plenty of wallowing, but we also manage to lift our heads long enough to cover the excellent clash between Argentina and the Wallabies, and check in on all the action from the Women’s World Cup.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

An immediate game reaction pod this week. The most hyped game of the year delivered, the All Blacks held strong to keep their 30-year fortress intact and gave Ardie Savea the perfect 100th test celebration, while the Boks were left muttering about what could’ve been. Over in Townsville, the Wallabies played the role of international rugby’s rom-com kings once again, pulling off another ridiculous comeback against the Pumas. And we talk BS and Rugby whilst smiling and slightly drunk.

Grab a beer and Enjoy.

The hype is off the charts! The World Champion Springboks are storming into Eden Park, the All Blacks’ fortress, where no one has won since 1994 (back before we had pubes). Will the Boks finally break the curse, or will the All Blacks once again prove Eden Park is basically Hogwarts with goalposts?

We’ll also look ahead to the Wallabies vs Pumas showdown, dive into the Women’s Rugby World Cup, check in on the Pacific Nations Cup, and give the NPC the airtime it deserves. The hype is real.

Grab a beer and enjoy!

Sorry Tony has audio issues for about 10 minutes near the start,

The All Blacks were a flaming dumpster fire this week, and as loyal fans we are disgusted. Razor’s backline looked like they’d just met in the carpark before kickoff, and Argentina gleefully ran riot in front of delirious Buenos Aires fans.

Over in South Africa, the Wallabies gave the Boks a proper scare of potentially going back to back… until James O’Connor’s boots decided they were made of Play-Doh.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Thanks to Sports 4 Cats for the beers! Go check them out https://sports4cast.com/4casts/rugby4cast/

Wallabies rise from the dead at Ellis Park in the greatest Aussie comeback since Crocodile Dundee 2. The Boks are stunned, the crowd’s crying into their Castle Lagers, and rugby Twitter explodes. Meanwhile, the All Blacks quietly handle Argentina with all the excitement of filing a tax return.

Grab a beer and Enjoy

We break down the Wallabies' epic victory over the British and Irish Lions in a stormy showdown that even Thor couldn't ignore. Plus, we chat about the newly announced All Blacks squad—spoiler alert: everyone's injured, but there are some exciting new faces on the horizon. And to top it all off, get ready for a bit of Baywatch!

Grab a beer and Enjoy!!

Big thank to Dylan for sponsoring this Episode!

If you want him to take you on a epic hunt email him

dylanafricasafaris@gmail.com

Only one game this weekend, but oh boy, it had everything. The Wallabies hosted the British & Irish Lions at the MCG in a test match so spicy it you'll feel it coming out.

An instant classic? Definitely. But it’ll mostly be remembered for one Giant Call. Lions fans are calling it fine. Wallabies fans are still trying to locate their jaws on the floor.

We unpack the madness, point fingers, praise heroes, and as always, talk a lot of BS.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Big thanks for the beers https://ruckrackrugby.com/

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The Lions drew first blood in Brisbane, taking the 1st Test over the Wallabies, but did they leave points (and polish) out on the paddock? The All Blacks notched another win against an understrength French side, but with more dirt-trackers in the mix this time, are we building depth or just delaying the big questions? Meanwhile, the Boks put Georgia away with ease... but was it convincing, or just clinical?

Join us as we dissect a weekend of almosts, maybes, and "meh-that’ll-do" performances from the big boys. Expect opinions, overreactions, and the odd tangent (as always).

Grab a Beer and enjoy.