Explore every episode of the podcast Time to Lean
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| what can we learn when we revisit couples therapy classics? | 10 avr. 2026 | 00:50:08 | |
Have you heard of the Gottman Institute? The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a wildly popular relationship book and it has plenty of fantastic insights. However, some of the research and case studies could use some updating. In this episode, we take a close look at conflict while keeping in mind the weight of emotional labor and the impacts of patriarchy. Mentioned: The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman PhD Study: Check out the https://www.lightenlab.com/ In this episode: Relationship conflict patterns and Gottman's research Gendered communication and systemic issues Neurodivergence and emotional regulation in relationships Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Order No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Themes: relationship dynamics, conflict resolution, Gottman Institute, gender theory, neurodivergence, communication, mental load, emotional labor, systemic gender issues, relationship advice Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| when does teasing turn toxic? | 14 janv. 2026 | 00:50:47 | |
In this episode, we share a "candid" video from a couple who are having a serious convo in a #couplescomedy tone. We unpack emotional attunement, family dynamics and the impact of social media on all of us. Mentioned in this episode: No More Mediocre by Laura Danger is in stores on January 6, 2026! Enter here for a chance to win an early copy! Don’t miss Crystal’s upcoming groups! More info here! ---------- Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Order No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| when does modeling better balance become capitalizing on the issue of inequity? | 26 nov. 2025 | 01:02:21 | |
In this episode, we explore the line between sharing personal growth and capitalizing on the widespread normalization of inequity. When does modeling a more equitable division of labor go from influencing a cultural shift to patting yourself on the back? Mentioned in this episode: No More Mediocre by Laura Danger is in stores on January 6, 2026! Enter here for a chance to win an early copy! Don’t miss Crystal’s Autism Self-Diagnosis Group, starting Dec 1st! More info here! ---------- Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| what if men were tricked into going to therapy? | 08 oct. 2025 | 00:48:55 | |
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss an IG reel sent to us from a listener. Do men need to be tricked into going to therapy? What are some things that keep them from going? How do you even go about picking a therapist that’s right for you? Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| if i have to ask you to invite me, is it REALLY an invitation? | 24 sept. 2025 | 01:00:50 | |
In this episode, Laura and Crystal chat about a clip from the movie Knocked Up where Leslie Mann confronts Paul Rudd about his dishonesty around how he's been using his time. We cover invisible labor, insidious inequity, subtle betrayals and so much more. Here's the link to the original video! Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| i asked for two, but he got me one—am i supposed to be okay with less... everyday... for the rest of my life? | 10 sept. 2025 | 00:46:39 | |
In this episode, we discuss a viral thread where a woman describes a metaphor for her entire relationship: a situation where she asked for more and was expected to be satisfied with less. We talk: self-sacrifice, relationship dynamics, small moments that really reflect big issues. Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is it funny to have to be begged to do the dishes? | 13 août 2025 | 00:51:13 | |
In this episode, Crystal and Laura talk about a viral video that makes light of the dynamic of "nagging". Join us as we consider not just what happens when you "ask a man to do the dishes", but what the jokes of the #couplescomedy genre actually teach us to laugh off. Mentioned: Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| was 'marriage story' cis-het propaganda? | 06 août 2025 | 00:34:44 | |
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the 2019 Netflix film, ‘Marriage Story,’ which starred Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. A popular clip is circulating on social media again and made us wonder: with all the passing of responsibility and finger-pointing and tantruming—was it all just cis-het propaganda?? Mentioned in this Episode:
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| would you leave someone on read for being too available? | 30 juil. 2025 | 00:34:36 | |
This week, we’re digging into a few clips from @leftonread_show that had us feeling things! We talk about what it means to be “cool" and whether or not the host's advice to play hard to get is ACTUALLY good advice. A lighthearted one today. <3 Let’s get into it. — Find more at timetoleanpod.substack.com for resources, ad-free episodes, and more. Follow Laura @thatdarnchat → thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal @itscrystalbritt → itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share if you love the show. Preorder No More Mediocre now. If you or someone you know needs support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| can an unfinished painting cause you to question everything? | 23 juil. 2025 | 00:16:21 | |
This is a weird one. Crystal has been slammed and Laura couldn't get a painting out of her head, so she decided to write(and read) about it. In this episode, Laura reads something she wrote about an unfinished painting of a mother. PLEASE PARDON LAURA'S FRENCH. :) Madame de Pastoret and Her Son, 1791–92 Artist: Jacques-Louis David (French, 1748–1825) Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is it fair to feel upset if i ask for help and your response isn't eager? | 16 juil. 2025 | 01:01:25 | |
In this episode, we talk about how vulnerable it can feel to name a need, the weight of perceived pushback, and how quickly it can spiral. We dig into what we call the nag paradox—that toxic loop of asking, resisting, escalating, and shutting down—and how it traps so many of us in a cycle of sacrifice, resentment, and disconnection. Mentioned: Wages For Housework by Emily Callaci Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| what happens if they ask how they can help, then don't like my answer? | 10 juil. 2025 | 00:53:52 | |
A listener sent us a video that hit a nerve: a husband asks his overwhelmed wife how he can help, then resists the very thing she asks for. In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on in moments like these. We talk about the emotional weight of asking for help, the nuances of saying no, and what it costs when a partner responds with resistance(even subtly). Emotional labor, the mental load, relationship dynamics, viral couples videos... it's all here! Mentioned in this episode: Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Follow Laura: @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com Follow Crystal: @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find the show If you or someone you know needs support: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 800-799-7233 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| if i step back, let him “rise” to leadership, and comment HUBBY on this post, will my partner finally make his own damn list? | 02 juil. 2025 | 01:12:29 | |
This week, we look at a viral influencer’s take on why men don’t step up at home. He's just one of many creators who exist in the genre of “relationship advice” whose content insidiously blames women for their partner’s lack of initiative. Apparently, the problem with a lack of effort isn't... the lack of effort... It's that you must be smothering his divine masculine spark. Mentioned in this episode: Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly The Future Is Disabled by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha Care Work by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha Subscribe, rate, and follow us: @timetoleanpod | timetoleanpod.substack.com @thatdarnchat | thatdarnchat.substack.com @itscrystalbritt | itscrystalbritt.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call to Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More Need support? Visit thehotline.org Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| am i the a-hole for making us late when i was doing all the housework? | 25 juin 2025 | 00:51:55 | |
This week Crystal and Laura discuss the challenges of care work, societal expectations of default partners, and the internet's attempts at poking fun at these dynamics. Spoiler alert: we don't think it's funny. We analyze a viral video that pokes fun at a woman managing her family's needs while being late, highlighting the unfairness of couples comedy posts. Instead of trying to punch down, shouldn't we be trying to emphasize the importance of recognizing the value of care work, questioning societal norms, and teaching children about responsibility and empathy? Mentioned in This Episode: Our Home by Lori Sugarman-Li, a childrens book on domestic equity! If you'd like to listen to us AD FREE, subscribe to us on Substack! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| what if i know you're going to mess it up? | 18 juin 2025 | 00:44:12 | |
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss planning ahead when one partner takes on a new task--should you make contingency plans just in case they mess it up? Mentioned in This Episode: Like what you hear? Join the conversation on Substack! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| what if we went to couples therapy? | 12 juin 2025 | 01:05:36 | |
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a clip from the popular Showtime show, “Couples Therapy,” where a pair of clients discuss incompetence, ability, and blame. Disclaimer: Time to Lean is an educational and conversational podcast intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by the hosts and guests are their own and do not constitute therapeutic advice, clinical guidance, or a substitute for professional mental health care. While we speak from lived experience and professional backgrounds, we’re not your therapists—and this podcast is not therapy. Please consult a qualified mental health provider if you’re experiencing distress or need individualized support. And remember: systemic change takes all of us, but you don’t have to do it all alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is instagram ruining your relationship? | 04 juin 2025 | 00:59:44 | |
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the importance of positive language in gardening, the joy of birding through apps, and the impact of social media on relationship dynamics. The conversation delves into parenting roles, cultural narratives, and the normalization of toxic behaviors in relationships, ultimately calling for a rethinking of feminist perspectives and deeper discussions about relationship expectations. Mentioned in this Episode: Filterworld: How Algorithms Flattened Culture by Kyle Chakya Kin: The Future of Family by Sophie Lucido Johnson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is corporate culture co-opting care? | 28 mai 2025 | 00:54:02 | |
This week, Crystal presents a new study that claims handling home life well can boost your work performance. We dig into what’s really being said(and what’s not), why the framing matters, and how corporate culture keeps co-opting care. In this episode: How you handle your home life can boost work performance, shows new study: https://www.bath.ac.uk/announcements/how-you-handle-your-home-life-can-boost-work-performance-shows-new-study/ Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber When You Care by Elissa Strauss 📖 Preorder No More Mediocre by Laura Danger and get a bonus High Impact Tasks resource! National Domestic Violence Hotline: Check out Substack for resources and ad-free episodes! http://timetoleanpod.substack.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| both parents forgot the diapers, so why is it called a "mom fail"? | 21 mai 2025 | 01:04:21 | |
Why is it that we blame the mom when something kid-related falls through the cracks? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss double standards in gendered expectations, the way that clear communication can prevent resentment, and how emotional safety can impact domestic problem-solving. Mentioned in this episode: https://www.today.com/parents/toddlers/mom-forgets-diapers-flight-toddler-rcna203556 National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/ Check out Substack for resources and ad-free episodes! http://timetoleanpod.substack.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| will the power moms save us? | 14 mai 2025 | 00:58:16 | |
Is the point of feminism to become a power mom/CEO powerhouse? (spoiler alert: BIG no). In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss why the new branding of feminism misses the mark by a w i d e margin. Mentioned in this episode: Power Moms Marie Claire Article Book: A Decolonial Feminism by Françoise Vergès Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| did hbo just cover emotional labor? | 07 mai 2025 | 00:52:42 | |
In this super unhinged episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the HBO show The Rehearsal, specifically episode 2 of season 2. We talk emotional labor, Nathan Fielder, and airline pilots. Mentioned in this episode: Rose Hackman's article: Telling Women to Modulate Their Tone Will Not Hinder Male Extremism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| can you get out of the "nag paradox"? | 23 avr. 2025 | 01:06:06 | |
This week, Laura and Crystal unravel the messy, misunderstood concept of nagging—and spoiler alert, it’s not just a "you problem." We’re diving headfirst into the nag paradox, that familiar dynamic where one partner becomes the designated project manager of the household… and the other somehow forgets how time works. From cringey comic strip tropes (hello, bathrobe lady with the slipper) to the emotional weight of carrying the mental load, we break down why nagging isn’t about being “overbearing”—it’s often a desperate bid to feel seen, heard, and understood in a system that undervalues care work. We explore how this pattern plays out in everyday moments, like who’s picking up the kids, and how resentment builds when you’re forced to either ask for help perfectly or just do it yourself. We also talk about how neurodivergence, gender roles, and unspoken emotional labor all collide to make this a setup for burnout—and sometimes, abuse. Plus:
Whether you’ve felt like the “default parent,” are trying to unlearn your own baggage, or are questioning how to rebalance your relationship, this episode is your big, validating exhale. 🛠️ Resources Mentioned:
👂Want more? If Apple Podcasts dropped us off your feed (rude), re-follow us so you don’t miss future episodes! And as always, leave us a review or share with a friend who needs to know: You’re not overreacting. You’re just exhausted. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| what makes an "unfit parent"? with author jessica slice | 16 avr. 2025 | 00:51:17 | |
This week on Time to Lean, Crystal and Laura sit down with author, essayist, and unapologetic truth-teller Jessica Slice to discuss her powerful new book Unfit Parent. Jessica shares the backstory behind her debut, how she went from social work student to published author, and what it means to parent while disabled in a world that barely recognizes disabled parents exist—let alone values them. We talk about the nuance of documenting disability, the grief of letting go of who you thought you'd be, and the unexpected creativity that disability invites into parenting. If you've ever felt like you're faking it as a parent—or if you’re carrying a body or mind that doesn’t always “perform”—this one’s for you. Order Jessica’s book, “Unfit Parent” below Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| his kidney, his choice? | 09 avr. 2025 | 01:03:27 | |
In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the emotional labor and expectations that arise when one partner makes significant decisions, such as donating a kidney. They discuss the importance of communication, the impact of caregiving, and the need for self-awareness in navigating these dynamics. The conversation emphasizes the necessity of considering each other's needs and the collective responsibility in relationships, while also highlighting the role of therapy and community support in fostering healthier interactions.
This show exists thanks to our amazing community. Subscribing to our Time to Lean Substack helps us keep this work going. We’ve moved off Patreon, so come hang with us there for bonus content, live chats, and more systemic breakdowns served with a side of memes and rage. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| am i the a-hole for calling him a piece of sh*t? | 02 avr. 2025 | 01:05:53 | |
In this unfiltered and deeply relatable episode, Crystal and Laura dive headfirst into a viral Am I the Asshole Reddit post that brings up a lot of familiar feelings for millennial moms, especially those in cishet partnerships.
This show exists thanks to our amazing community. Subscribing to our Time to Lean Substack helps us keep this work going. We’ve moved off Patreon, so come hang with us there for bonus content, live chats, and more systemic breakdowns served with a side of memes and rage. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| why do married men work more? | 26 mars 2025 | 00:55:40 | |
They do. They work 7% more than single men, but how does that impact their marriages? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss how capitalism screws, well, all of us. All genders, in every sphere. Topics We Cover:
Referenced Research & Sources:
Upcoming:
Connect With Us:
Disclaimer: This episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical, legal, or therapeutic advice. Just two tired women with microphones and degrees yelling into the void (lovingly). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| who takes care of the caregivers? | 19 mars 2025 | 01:05:01 | |
Ever wonder what happens when the person keeping everything together… falls apart? Spoiler: it’s not good. This week, we’re diving into the unpaid, undervalued, and often invisible labor of caregiving—who does it, who’s burning out, and why society pretends it's not happening until it’s too late. From Gene Hackman & Betsy Arakawa’s story to Bruce Willis’s wife Emma Hemming Willis calling out caregiving burnout, we break down the brutal reality of care work. Also: why home health workers make less than fast food employees, why women are expected to handle it all, and why we’re all one crisis away from disaster. Oh, and The Sims somehow makes an appearance. You’re welcome. ✔️ The caregiving crisis—why it’s invisible until it’s a full-blown emergency ✔️ Who’s checking in on the people keeping us alive? (Spoiler: no one) ✔️ The disgusting wages home health workers are paid (Louisiana: $8.76/hr. What??) ✔️ How COVID normalized exhaustion, burnout, and pretending to be okay ✔️ Why men “don’t need” care… or do they just refuse to admit it? ✔️ Does hyper-individualism kill us faster? Let’s discuss. Bruce Willis’s Wife on Caregiving Burnout: The Guardian Gene Hackman & Betsy Arakawa Case: New York Times Home Health Worker Pay in the U.S.: PHI National Report Women Leaving the Workforce in 2020: Brookings Study Jessica Slice’s Book on Disability & Caregiving: Unfit Parent, Available for Pre-Order! Find it here Dr. Han Ren on Moral Dissonance in Care Work: Instagram Mia Birdsong’s Book on Community & Care: How We Show Up – Get it here Support the Pod & Join the Community! Join our Patreon! Get bonus episodes, extra resources, and our book club → patreon.com/timetoleanpod Follow us on Instagram: @timetoleanpod DM us your thoughts, rants, or caregiving horror stories. We read them all! Reminder: If you know someone who’s always holding everything together—check on them today. Seriously. 🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing in this episode should be taken as medical, mental health, or legal advice. Time to Lean is not a replacement for therapy, professional medical treatment, or individualized support. If you're struggling, please reach out to a licensed professional. 🚨 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| how heavy is a household task? | 12 mars 2025 | 00:54:31 | |
What factors help you to decide how hard or simple a household task is? Ellie Windle, CEO and founder of Persist, set out to answer that very question. In this episode, Laura and Crystal interview Ellie about the factors that led to Persist's creation, and reflect on the myriad of ways it has helped to make the invisible labor of the household, visible and valuable. Persist's Website Take the FREE CareLoad assessment and/or use the code DANGER30 for 30% off! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is elon musk a bad dad? | 05 mars 2025 | 00:31:27 | |
We know this probably isn't your most burning question, but did you see this video of him last week? Laura and Crystal discuss the double standard of Elon's public displays of fatherhood, and the tokenism of his pro-natal movement. Y'all, we're tired. Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is it time to focus on men's health? | 26 févr. 2025 | 01:06:00 | |
Laura and Crystal discuss an NPR article that caused quite a stir this week by focusing on men's health while women's rights and freedoms continue to be a target of the current presidential administration. Is it fair? Let's get into it! Mentioned in this Episode: NPR: Men Die Younger Than Women Miss Diagnosis: A Systemic Review of ADHD in Women Want to discuss this week's episode with us? Join our Patreon! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is dating dehumanizing? | 19 févr. 2025 | 00:53:39 | |
Is there such a thing as "The One?" Is there such a thing as "choosing well" when it comes to a partner, or are we always looking to trade up to a "better model?" Laura and Crystal discuss a quote from Dean Spade's new book, "Love in a F*cked Up World." Resources discussed in this episode: Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| when is weaponized incompetence emotional abuse? | 12 févr. 2025 | 01:10:59 | |
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss recent viral videos that beg the question: When exactly does weaponized incompetence turn into emotional abuse? Is it always emotional abuse? Resources from this Episode: Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| what if they're trying but i need MORE? | 05 févr. 2025 | 01:14:12 | |
Ever wonder if your standard for your partner is too high? Too low? Just right? In this episode, Laura and Crystal explore relationship dynamics when special circumstances like chronic illness and mental health are involved. How can a partnership like this be equitable in the domestic labor arena? Can it? Listen and tell us what you think! Get the "Check Yourself: Guide to Understanding & Supporting Your Own Behavior" resource here! Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is it true that if he wanted to, he would? | 29 janv. 2025 | 01:05:09 | |
In this weeks episode Laura and Crystal read a message from a follower and explore the idea of “if they wanted to they would.” We also give some of our thoughts on how to self-reflect to find solutions that work for us. Get the "Check Yourself: Guide to Understanding & Supporting Your Own Behavior" resource here! Statistics on Queerness and Neurodivergence The Birds, Bees, and the Elephant in The Room by Rachel Coler Mullhulland Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| if it's a joke, why aren't we laughing? | 21 janv. 2025 | 00:53:35 | |
In this episode, we discuss a viral video of a stand-up comedian, whose punchline is how incompetent dads are. We're not laughing. Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Three year olds are fine on their own, right? | 15 janv. 2025 | 00:54:45 | |
In this episode of Time to Lean, we share a wild story about a woman who had a three-year-old dropped into the seat next to her on a flight—without a word from the parents. 😳 This unbelievable situation had us thinking about the intense pressures of parenting in public spaces like airplanes. We dive into the anxiety of trying to "prepare for anything," the mental load we carry as parents, and how societal expectations shape the way we navigate these moments. We also explore the implications of neglecting child safety and how weaponized incompetence shows up in unexpected ways. Buckle up for this one—it’s a ride! Here's the link to the original video! Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is this mother-in-law the a-hole? | 08 janv. 2025 | 00:48:52 | |
In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the complexities of family dynamics, particularly in the context of a viral gender reveal and the emotional labor involved in navigating relationships. They explore the concept of the 'mama's boy' dynamic, the importance of setting boundaries, and the cultural contexts that influence these interactions. The conversation also touches on the emotional toll of familial expectations and the need for self-awareness in managing relationships, especially during the holiday season. Mentioned on this episode: Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is it ball-busting to ask you to clean on the weekends? | 18 déc. 2024 | 00:31:07 | |
Laura and Crystal discuss a viral video that ironically covers not only the Nag Paradox but also the double-standard myth that working outside the home should make a partner exempt from working inside the home with the other partner. Mentioned on this episode: Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| is it queer to like your wife? | 11 déc. 2024 | 00:33:41 | |
You know the phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life?" Well in this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a refreshing take on this tired saying by creator @livunderthestairs. They discuss how it can be reframed more equitably, emphasizing shared responsibilities and emotional labor in relationships. Mentioned on this episode: The Tragedy of Heterosexuality Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| RE-RELEASE: what's going down at Ballerina Farm? | 04 déc. 2024 | 00:45:22 | |
On this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the viral Ballerina Farm Time's Article. We delve into the unequal division of labor, the pressure on mothers to prioritize their kids and role as mom above all else, and the lack of autonomy and self-care for mothers. Mentioned on this episode: The viral Time's article on Ballerina Farm Marie Claire's Article on the Evie Cover Sara Peterson's Article Re: Ballerina Farm Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| am I the a-hole for wanting time alone? | 27 nov. 2024 | 01:02:20 | |
We have a listener-submitted question! Queen of Group Projects wants to know if she should feel bad for wanting her partner to do his own tasks ON HIS OWN, rather than together. Crystal and Laura discuss the purpose of delegating tasks, the benefits of alone time, and how to connect outside of the mundane day-to-day! For resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| am i the a-hole for not helping when my partner says they're overwhelmed? | 22 nov. 2024 | 00:51:20 | |
This week's episode has us grappled with some conflicted feelings. We discuss an AITA where someone asks if they're being a jerk by not helping their partner who says they're overwhelmed by the holiday tasks - the same tasks the original poster handled on their own for years. Scratch your head and spiral out along with us. **Oops, you may notice this week's episode had the wrong audio on it! SORRY ABOUT THAT! - Laura You can find the resources we mention here: On our Patreon! For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| if you're so tired, shouldn't you be laying down instead of washing the walls? | 13 nov. 2024 | 00:57:09 | |
In this episode, we explore a viral video featuring a woman who always says she wants to relax, yet when the moment finally comes, she can’t help but get up and keep doing something around the house. We talk through the relatable feeling of never truly switching off, especially for women who feel that even their downtime at home has to be “productive.” Join us as we spiral through the compulsion to stay busy and how deeply it’s tied to societal expectations. For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) We <3 Data! Find some of the research we cited below! https://dornsife.usc.edu/news/stories/moms-cognitive-burden-chores/ The cognitive load! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| what if my partner voted against my best interest? | 08 nov. 2024 | 01:02:58 | |
A very special episode, post-election. What now? Resources: National Domestic Violence Hotline What Are My Values? Free Worksheet from Us Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| what are signs the relationship is over? | 30 oct. 2024 | 01:04:14 | |
Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Resources Mentioned This Episode: DBT Assertiveness Scripts: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DBT-IE-4-Assertiveness-Scripts-and-Interpersonal-Rights-compressed.pdf DBT Boundaries Worksheet: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DBT-IE-8-Interpersonal-Boundaries-compressed.pdf DBT What Are Interpersonal Boundaries?: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/interpersonal-boundaries/ Gottman Four Horsemen and Antidotes: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/ DBT TIPP: https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp/ Distress Tolerance STOPP: https://www.hey.nhs.uk/wp/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/OHC_STOPP.pdf Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| am I the a-hole for being upset he forgot my 40th birthday? | 23 oct. 2024 | 00:42:57 | |
In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss Birthday Blues, expectations for partners, and how to move forward if they let you down. Links: Time to Read Book Club for October: Ace by Angela Chen! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| am i wrong for freaking out over a looming natural disaster? | 16 oct. 2024 | 01:00:30 | |
In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the dynamics of a viral video that highlights the emotional labor women often experience in relationships, particularly during crisis or stressful situations. Have you ever felt gaslit by a calmer partner? This one's for you. Links: Time to Read Book Club for October: Ace by Angela Chen! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| how can we build a village in a nuclear-family-obsessed culture? | 09 oct. 2024 | 00:58:20 | |
In this episode, we interview Jessica Daylover, polyamorous storyteller, educator, mother of two and so much more - including Chief Executive Officer of the Nuclear Fusion App! Jessica shares her journey through motherhood, the challenges of raising a medically complex child, and her vision for community building through the Nuclear Fusion network. The conversation explores the importance of chosen families, the struggles of modern parenting, and the need for vulnerability and emotional intelligence in building connections. It's time to rethink traditional family structures and the value of community support in raising children. Join us as we discuss the question that's constantly on our minds - how do we connect with people and build the community connections we so desperately want? Check out the Nuclear Fusion App here! For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| i'm considering divorce - am i overreacting? | 02 oct. 2024 | 01:06:12 | |
In this week's episode, Crystal reads Laura a story from a woman who faces a disastrous situation while recovering from abdominal surgery and heads to the internet to ask if she's overreacting for being upset. We don't want to spoil it... but she's definitely not overreacting. Get Ruth Whippman's book, Boy Mom For AD FREE episodes, resources and SO MUCH MORE; Join our Patreon! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| i'm fine, so why are you mad? - REPLAY | 25 sept. 2024 | 00:43:30 | |
In this REPLAY episode, we revisit a discussion we had about common commentary along the lines of, "I'm not sure why you're so upset! I do what you ask. I never make demands of you. I'm fine, so it kind of seems like you're maybe just mad... to be mad." Oh, and the ole' "You're no fun anymore." EEk! Mentioned in this episode: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/10/business/gen-z-dating-pay-etiquette.html You can find us on Patreon! Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura here! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean OR DM us on IG @timetoleanpod Follow Time to Lean on social media @timetoleanpod Follow Laura on social media @thatdarnchat Follow Crystal on social media @itscrystalbritt Domestic Violence Resources Please note: This podcast is for entertainment and educational purposes. We are not your doctors. None of what we say should be considered a replacement for therapy. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/timetoleanpod/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||