In this soul-shaking episode, we sit down with therapist, trauma practitioner, and spiritual leader Rachel Clinton Chen to explore the sacred, painful, and courageous work of healing. Rachel guides us into the realities of trauma, powerlessness, spiritual abuse, and what it takes to become whole. We talk about the cost of integrity, the betrayal of our bodies, and the profound invitation to let lament and grief become doorways to hope. With honesty, wisdom, and fierce gentleness, Rachel names what so many are afraid to say aloud—and calls us to be people of truth and love in the face of harm.

Takeaways

• Trauma is not just what happens to you—it’s what you carry when you’re alone in it.

• Integrity has a cost, especially in spiritually abusive systems.

• Grief is not the end of the story—it’s the beginning of embodied hope.

• Healing often begins with naming what is true, even when it’s disruptive.

• Your body keeps the score, but it can also be the site of redemption.

• We need language, witness, and safety to metabolize harm.

Chapters

(00:00) Meet Rachel Clinton Chen

(04:00) Powerlessness and the Language of Trauma

(07:30) What Spiritual Abuse Steals from the Soul

(12:00) The Cost of Integrity in Religious Systems

(15:30) The Body Knows What the Mind Tries to Hide

(19:00) Naming the Truth and Being Witnessed

(22:30) What Is Lament and Why Does It Matter?

(26:00) Becoming People Who Can Grieve and Hold Hope

(29:00) From Dissociation to Embodiment

(34:00) Holding Complexity in a Black-and-White World

(38:00) Rachel’s Own Healing and Leadership Journey

(41:00) Why She Still Believes in the Church

(46:00) A Word for the Tender and Tired Listener

(49:00) Where to Find Rachel and Her Work

Keywords

Rachel Clinton Chen, Three Percent, trauma healing, spiritual abuse, integrity, grief, lament, The Allender Center, Dan Allender, embodiment, Christian trauma, spiritual formation, emotional health, mental health, religious harm, narrative healing, counseling, black-and-white thinking, abuse recovery, faith and pain, hope, integrity, safety, truth-telling, nervous system, therapeutic practices, power and vulnerability, shame and resilience, holistic masculinity, tenderness, church healing

Summary

In this deeply personal episode, Jamie and Blake step away from interviews to reflect on one of the most important and tender questions they ask as therapists and friends: What’s the point in changing? Recorded during a 3% planning retreat, they share the raw stories of their own healing journeys—from addiction, numbness, and rage to freedom, connection, and hope. Whether you’re seeking freedom from a behavior or freedom for deeper relationships, this episode offers both encouragement and honesty for anyone in process.

Mentioned Resources

• Chip Dodd’s Feelings Chart: https://www.chipdodd.com/free-resources-download

• Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted: https://jay-stringer.com/book/

• The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd: https://www.chipdodd.com/books

Takeaways

• There’s often no clear “start” to change—just the next honest step.

• External motivations (like a spouse or relationship) can be valid entry points.

• Deep transformation comes when we realize we need to change for ourselves.

• We are not our behaviors—shame grows when we enmesh identity with struggle.

• Empathy often has to be relearned—and it starts with how we talk to ourselves.

• Change is not linear, and recovery is a lifelong journey.

• You're worth the work it takes to be known, healed, and free.
  

Chapters

(00:00) Welcome from the Cabin

(02:32) What Motivates Change?

(04:50) Motivational Interviewing & Counseling Insights

(06:44) Blake’s Story: Hitting a Wall

(10:10) Changing for a Relationship

(13:00) You Are Not the Problem

(16:20) Freedom From vs. Freedom For

(18:00) Jamie’s Story: Numbness and Rage

(22:10) The Role of Porn in Emotional Numbing

(24:55) Shifting Motivation Over Time

(26:20) Healing as Ongoing Work

(29:00) The Little Boy Inside Who Still Wants to Hide

(32:30) Parenting Yourself with Compassion

(35:10) Why Progress Feels Like a Circle

(37:00) Change for You, Not Just Them

(39:00) You’re Worth It

Keywords therapy, change, healing, recovery, shame, emotional health, addiction, porn recovery, motivation, empathy, rage, fatherhood, masculinity, self-awareness, spiritual formation, honesty, holistic masculinity, personal growth, identity, trauma, freedom, Jay Stringer, Chip Dodd, Voice of the Heart, emotional literacy

In this episode, Brian Lee discusses the often-overlooked topic of spiritual abuse and its profound impact on individuals' lives. He shares his journey from being a pastor to creating the nonprofit Broken to Beloved, which aims to support survivors of spiritual abuse. The conversation delves into the definition of holistic masculinity, the importance of safety and trust in relationships, and the healing process that involves recognizing one's story and integrating all parts of oneself. Brian emphasizes the need for community support and grace in the journey of recovery, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of faith and belonging.

Takeaways

• Holistic masculinity means integrating all parts of oneself.
• Spiritual abuse uses God's words to dehumanize individuals.
• Healing requires recognizing and naming trauma.
• Safety in relationships is foundational for trust.
• The journey of healing is often long and complex.
• Community support is vital for recovery from spiritual abuse.
• Understanding one's story is crucial for healing.
• Grace and compassion towards oneself are essential.
• The hierarchy of belovedness includes safety, connection, trust, vulnerability, and intimacy.
• Healing from spiritual abuse can lead to a deeper understanding of faith.

Check out more of Broken to Beloved:

Website - ⁠https://www.brokentobeloved.org/⁠

Donate - ⁠https://www.brokentobeloved.org/support⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/brokentobeloved⁠

Substack - ⁠https://brokentobeloved.substack.com/⁠

Broken to Beloved Podcast - ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2RcmVVeoNVuaZ7VT37YKrc?si=38911bd34a8a48e0

Chapters

00:00 Brian's Background and Journey

04:35 Understanding Spiritual Abuse

07:26 The Impact of Spiritual Abuse

10:19 Cultural and Racial Influences

13:35 The Importance of Storytelling

16:21 The Hierarchy of Belovedness

26:56 Building Trust Through Vulnerability

31:16 Understanding Safety and Self-Regulation

37:14 The Connection Between Body Awareness and Safety

43:30 Navigating Faith and Safety in Church Spaces

46:56 Finding Safety in Curiosity and Healing

52:30 The Journey from Brokenness to Beloved

Keywords

masculinity, spirituality, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, storytelling, friendship, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, grief, emotional health, community support, mental health resources, holistic masculinity, vulnerability, embodiment, fatherhood, childhood experiences, inner child, self-compassion, shame, self-contempt, workshops, mental health, spiritual abuse, trauma, community support, faith, recovery, emotional safety, holistic healing

In this episode, we engage in a deep conversation with Dr. Andrew Bauman about holistic masculinity, vulnerability, and the importance of self-compassion. We explore the impact of childhood experiences on adult behavior, the significance of engaging with one's inner child, and the role of embodiment in therapy. The discussion also touches on the challenges of fatherhood, navigating shame, and the necessity of truth in relationships. The episode concludes with insights into workshops and resources available for men seeking healing and integration.

Takeaways

• Holistic masculinity involves embracing vulnerability and healing.
• Self-compassion is essential in overcoming shame and self-contempt.
• Childhood experiences significantly shape adult behavior and relationships.
• Embodiment practices can enhance therapeutic experiences.
• Navigating fatherhood requires awareness of one's own wounds.
• Truth-telling is a powerful tool for liberation and healing.
• Workshops can provide valuable resources for men seeking support.
• The journey of healing is ongoing and requires commitment.
• Creating safe spaces for men to express emotions is vital.

Check out more of Dr. Andrew Bauman:

Website - ⁠https://andrewjbauman.com/⁠

Intensive Workshops - ⁠https://christiancc.org/⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/drandrewjbauman/

Chapters

08:36 Dr. Andrew Bauman's Journey

11:46 The Impact of Family Dynamics

14:25 Engaging with Grief and Loss

17:44 The Importance of Male Embodiment

20:30 Somatic Exercises for Healing

23:31 Integrating the Inner Child

26:22 The Role of Truth in Healing

29:33 Workshops and Resources for Men

32:36 Closing Thoughts and Future Conversations

45:22 Exploring Vulnerability and Healing

Keywords

masculinity, spirituality, social justice, teaching, creativity, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, storytelling, friendship, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, grief, emotional health, community support, mental health resources, holistic masculinity, vulnerability, embodiment, fatherhood, childhood experiences, inner child, self-compassion, shame, self-contempt, workshops, mental health

In this episode, Zachariah Thompson, founder of Scatter Joy, shares his journey of creating a mental health nonprofit aimed at making mental health resources accessible and affordable. The conversation delves into personal struggles with mental health, the impact of grief, and the importance of empathy in fostering emotional health. The hosts discuss the mission of Scatter Joy, the significance of community support, and how individuals can get involved to help others while also taking care of their own mental health.

Takeaways

• Scatter Joy aims to make mental health resources accessible.
• Mental health is a continuous journey, not a one-time fix.
• Grief plays a significant role in mental health struggles.
• Empathy is essential for personal and communal healing.
• The repair of relationships is more important than the rupture.
• Creating a supportive community is vital for mental health.
• Men often struggle with expressing emotions and vulnerability.
• Storytelling can enhance empathy and understanding.
• Joy can be a form of resistance against mental health stigma.
• Engaging with meaningful stories can improve empathy.

Check out Scatter Joy:

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thescatterjoyproject/⁠

Website - ⁠https://thescatterjoyproject.com/

Chapters

00:00 Zach's Personal Journey with Mental Health

04:23 The Impact of Grief on Mental Health

07:04 Understanding Mental Health as a Lifelong Journey

09:49 The Role of Fear and Emotional Awareness

12:41 Reparenting Through Fatherhood

15:18 The Importance of Repairing Relationships

18:06 The Meaning Behind Scatter Joy

26:25 The Journey of Scatter Joy

31:45 Personal Growth Through Diverse Experiences

36:51 Breaking Barriers in Mental Health

42:37 The Power of Scattering Joy

49:17 Empathy as a Tool for Mental Health

53:43 Supporting and Being Supported by Scatter Joy

Keywords

masculinity, spirituality, social justice, teaching, creativity, entrepreneurship, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, storytelling, friendship, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, Scatter Joy, grief, emotional health, community support, mental health resources, storytelling, joy

In this engaging conversation, Propaganda, a multifaceted artist, discusses his journey through music, coffee culture, and the complexities of masculinity and spirituality. He reflects on his influences in hip-hop, the challenges of entrepreneurship, and the importance of teaching and community. The dialogue explores how personal experiences shape artistic expression and the significance of accessing prior knowledge in learning and growth. In this conversation, we delve into the complexities of masculinity, the challenges of navigating the Christian music industry, and the importance of engaging with one's pain to foster personal growth. We explore the impact of societal expectations on male identity, the significance of storytelling in understanding oneself, and the need for emotional expression. The discussion highlights the journey of self-discovery and the role of music as a medium for exploring these themes.

Takeaways

• Propaganda discusses the evolution of hip-hop and its social consciousness.
• Teaching is a core aspect of his identity and artistry.
• He believes in accessing prior knowledge to enhance learning.
• The conversation touches on the complexities of masculinity in today's world.
• Propaganda's new music explores themes of masculinity and spirituality.
• Understanding what masculinity is not can clarify what it is.
• Engaging with pain is essential for personal growth.
• Emotional expression is often limited by societal norms.
• Stories shape our understanding of masculinity.
• Language can be a powerful tool for healing.

Check out Propaganda:

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/prophiphop/?hl=en⁠

YouTube - ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS_bhmcf4VbuoU6eX-0fzAg⁠

Spotify - ⁠https://open.spotify.com/artist/7wGizTRCLYwsLnTuCBbJ6t?si=-ANPwqzxTd6Smb867Hkjew⁠

Hood Politics - ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hood-politics-with-prop/id1493858530⁠

Website - ⁠https://www.prophiphop.com/

Chapters

01:48 Meet Propaganda: The Artist and His Journey

05:40 Passion for Coffee and Community

07:49 The Hustle of Entrepreneurship

12:32 The Evolution of Hip-Hop and Personal Influence

17:47 Teaching as a Core Gift

21:36 Accessing Prior Knowledge in Learning

26:03 Exploring Masculinity Through Music

27:03 The Creative Process Behind New Music

31:51 The Bench: A Year of Reflection

32:49 Exploring Masculinity Through Music

33:51 Navigating the Christian Music Landscape

35:03 Friendship and Integrity in the Music Industry

37:01 Political Engagement and Identity

39:22 Defining Masculinity: What It Is and Isn't

40:46 Engaging with Pain to Understand Manhood

43:07 The Crayon Box of Emotions

47:08 The Impact of Stories on Masculinity

51:03 Holistic Masculinity: Anger and Self-Reflection

55:07 The Power of Language in Healing

Keywords

Propaganda, hip-hop, masculinity, spirituality, coffee culture, social justice, teaching, creativity, entrepreneurship, music, masculinity, music, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, storytelling, political engagement, friendship, integrity, healing

In this conversation, we talk to filmmaker Eric Floberg and explore the challenges of balancing parenthood and work, the importance of authenticity in creative endeavors, and the role of vulnerability in storytelling. Eric shares his journey as a filmmaker and runner, emphasizing the need for intentionality in both personal and professional life. We discuss how running serves as a metaphor for life, highlighting the mental benefits and discipline it brings. The conversation also touches on the impact of community in running and the evolution of Eric's creative career, ultimately questioning the purpose and intent behind creative work. In this conversation, we explore the intricate balance between personal relationships and the discipline required in both running and life. We discuss the importance of prioritizing relationships, the compounding effects of consistent effort, and the necessity of embracing the process rather than focusing solely on outcomes. The dialogue also touches on the significance of community, collaboration, and emotional intelligence in navigating life's challenges, particularly in the context of masculinity and personal growth.

Takeaways

• Parenthood often requires a delicate balance with work.
• Creativity thrives on authenticity and vulnerability.
• Vulnerability can lead to deeper connections in creative work.
• Finding purpose in creative endeavors is essential for fulfillment.
• Fatherhood can significantly influence personal growth and perspective.
• Running serves as a powerful metaphor for life's challenges.
• The process of creating is often more important than the outcome.
• Building a supportive community enhances creative work.
• Navigating relationships in a creative environment can be complex.
• Emotional awareness is crucial in collaborative settings.

Check out Eric’s YouTube Channel: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@EricFloberg⁠

Join Eric’s Running Channel and Community: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@flobergruns⁠

Follow Eric on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/eric.floberg/?hl=en

Chapters

00:00 The Role of Authenticity in Creative Work

04:00 Exploring the Creative Journey

06:58 The Importance of Vulnerability in Storytelling

10:06 Running as a Metaphor for Life

13:02 The Impact of Community in Running

16:01 Questioning Purpose and Intent in Creativity

18:56 The Evolution of Eric's Creative Career

22:06 Rediscovering Joy in Running

25:07 Discipline and Its Broader Implications

27:58 Prioritizing Relationships Over Tasks

31:02 The Long Game: Consistency in Relationships

33:51 Finding Joy in the Process

35:00 The Importance of Consistency

35:45 Embracing the Process of Growth

36:55 The Euphoria of Achievement

37:56 Resilience in Relationships

38:57 The Complexity of Collaboration

40:01 Building Community and Connection

41:01 The 3% Principle in Relationships

Keywords

parenthood, work-life balance, authenticity, creativity, vulnerability, storytelling, running, community, purpose, discipline, relationships, masculinity, grit, consistency, personal growth, community, collaboration, emotional intelligence, domestic life, running

In this episode of the 3% Podcast, hosts Jamie Haigh and Blake Roberts engage in a deep conversation with David Thomas, co-executive director of Daystar Counseling and co-author of 11 books, including ‘Raising Emotionally Strong Boys: Tools Your Son can Build on for Life,’ and the best-selling ‘Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys.’ The discussion revolves around the importance of vulnerability and honesty in parenting, the challenges parents face in today's world, and the significance of modeling emotional regulation for children. David shares insights from his new children's book, which aims to teach resilience and emotional understanding through the story of a therapy dog. The conversation emphasizes the need for parents to reflect on their own stories and the impact of their parenting on future generations.

Takeaways

• Vulnerability and honesty are crucial in parenting.
• Parents should trust their instincts amidst overwhelming information.
• Modeling emotional regulation is essential for children.
• Apologizing to children can strengthen relationships.
• Children's books can convey complex emotional themes simply.
• Therapy dogs can play a significant role in emotional healing.
• Building resilience in children starts with acknowledging fear.
• Parenting is about cleaning up our side of the street.
• Understanding one's own story is vital for effective parenting.

Check out Daystar Counseling: ⁠https://www.daystarcounseling.com/⁠

Pre-order David and Sissy’s new books: ⁠https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/shop⁠

Listen to Raising Boys and Girls: ⁠https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/⁠

Follow David on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/raisingboysandgirls/

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to David Thomas and Daystar Counseling

05:30 The Importance of Vulnerability and Honesty in Parenting

08:33 Navigating Emotional Development and Parenting Challenges

11:19 The Role of Apologies and Self-Regulation in Parenting

14:35 Introducing the New Children's Book and Its Themes

17:28 The Story Behind the Therapy Dog and Its Impact

20:31 Building Resilience and Courage in Children

23:33 The Mission of the Children's Book and Its Emotional Tools

29:53 Courage in Overcoming Fear

31:36 Empathy and Resilience in Parenting

34:49 The Impact of Family Stories

36:54 Transforming Pain into Growth

39:50 The Importance of Acknowledging Harm

44:28 Generational Impact of Parenting

47:23 Cleaning Up Our Side of the Street

53:44 The Legacy of Good Parenting

Keywords

parenting, emotional development, vulnerability, honesty, resilience, children's books, therapy dogs, David Thomas, Daystar Counseling, raising boys, parenting, resilience, courage, empathy, family stories, growth, vulnerability, generational impact, self-awareness, emotional health

In this conversation, we explore the intersection of therapy, masculinity, and personal growth with Sam Eldredge. Sam shares insights from his background, discussing how his upbringing influenced his approach to emotional intelligence and healing. The discussion delves into the concept of Noble Workshops, a unique experiential therapy program designed to help individuals engage with their personal stories and foster deeper connections with themselves and others. Throughout the conversation, the importance of storytelling, vulnerability, and beauty in the healing process is emphasized, inviting listeners to reflect on their own journeys. We delve into the themes of nostalgia, healing, and the importance of curiosity in understanding our emotions. We also explore how past experiences shape our present feelings and the significance of connecting with our inner child. The discussion emphasizes the need for kindness, courage, and curiosity in the healing process, as well as the role of vulnerability in forming genuine connections. We also want listeners to check out Noble Workshops as a resource for those seeking deeper emotional work and community support.

Takeaways

• The importance of pursuing holistic masculinity in today's world.
• Noble Workshops provide a space for deep emotional healing.
• Curiosity is essential in understanding our own stories.
• Vulnerability allows for genuine connections with others.
• Engaging with our inner child can lead to profound insights.
• Progress in personal growth is often incremental, not all or nothing.
• Storytelling can help us connect with our own experiences.
• Compassion towards ourselves is crucial in the healing process.
• The environment and community play a significant role in personal growth.
• Being present and attentive to beauty can be healing.

Check out Noble Workshops: https://www.nobleworkshops.com/

Listen to the Noble Workshops Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/nobleworkshops/

Follow Sam on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nobleworkshops/

Inner Child Exercise: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/648367dc04b64b65f3626d6d/t/65611601bab60e7abe6480d1/1700861450113/NW+%7C+Inner+Child.pdf

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background

08:00 Exploring the Work of Sam Eldredge

15:57 Understanding Noble Workshops

23:47 Engaging with Personal Stories

29:19 Exploring Nostalgia and Sadness

32:02 The Power of Curiosity in Healing

36:21 Understanding Resistance and Acceptance

39:26 The Role of Kindness, Courage, and Curiosity

43:40 Connecting with Our Inner Child

49:59 The Importance of Vulnerability

55:14 Noble Workshops: A Path to Healing

Keywords

holistic masculinity, inner child, vulnerability, personal growth, therapy, noble workshops, emotional healing, storytelling, mental health, self-discovery

In this conversation, we speak with Chuck DeGroat and explore themes of self-awareness, trauma, and the compassionate nature of God. We discuss the importance of understanding one's own experiences and how they shape perceptions of God and self. The dialogue emphasizes the need for deeper self-regulation rather than just self-awareness, highlighting the complexities of navigating personal trauma and the journey towards healing.

Takeaways

• The Genesis story can be reframed to highlight God's curiosity and compassion.
• Questions like 'Where are you?' can foster deeper self-reflection.
• Understanding early experiences is crucial in shaping our view of God.
• Dysregulation can manifest in both harmful and seemingly positive behaviors.
• Self-awareness is only the first step; self-regulation is essential for healing.
• Therapy can help individuals navigate their unique trauma stories.
• Compassionate questions can lead to profound insights about oneself.
• The journey to healing requires slowing down and being intentional.
• Not all therapeutic practices work for everyone; personalization is key.
• The shift from hyperarousal to self-regulation can be disruptive but necessary.

Go buy “Healing What’s Within”: https://www.chuckdegroat.net/

Follow Chuck on X: https://x.com/chuckdegroat

Follow Chuck on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chuckdegroat

Chapters

00:00 Understanding God's Curiosity and Compassion

04:22 The Role of Trauma in Perception of God

07:10 Practical Steps Towards Healing

10:05 The Importance of Curiosity in Therapy

19:35 Navigating Outrage and Personal Power

20:56 Understanding Unique Wounds and Trauma

23:11 The Role of Rage and Protection in Healing

25:56 Dysregulation and the Illusion of Resilience

30:09 From Self-Awareness to Self-Regulation

41:54 The Cost of Transformation and Disruption

Keywords

therapy, self-awareness, self-regulation, trauma, mental health, God, Genesis, dysregulation, compassion, healing

In this episode of the 3% Podcast, hosts Jamie Haigh and Blake Roberts engage in a profound conversation with therapist Sam Jolman about masculine sexuality, trauma recovery, and the importance of open discussions around sexual health. Sam shares his personal journey and insights from his book, 'The Sex Talk You Never Got,' emphasizing the need for healthy conversations about sexuality, especially for men. The discussion covers breaking generational patterns, nurturing healthy masculinity, and the significance of awe versus lust in understanding desire. Sam encourages men to embrace their sexual innocence and engage in their stories with curiosity and compassion.

Takeaways

• The journey to understanding one's sexuality often stems from personal pain and passion.
• Healthy masculinity can coexist with sexual desire.
• Parents should strive to break generational patterns of shame surrounding sexuality.
• Instilling an appreciation for beauty in children can foster healthy sexuality.
• Sexuality is not just a drive; it is a desire that can be explored.
• Curiosity about sexuality should be met with compassion and respect.
• Awe can lead to deeper connections than lust.
• Men often struggle with shame around their sexuality, which can hinder their relationships.
• There is always hope for recovering one's sexual innocence.

Learn more about Sam: ⁠https://www.samjolman.com/⁠

Read more of Sam’s writing on Substack: ⁠samjolman.substack.com/⁠

Follow Sam on Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/samjolman

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Sam Jolman and His Work

04:14 The Importance of Male Sexuality Conversations

06:21 Sam's Journey to Writing About Masculine Sexuality

10:13 Navigating Conversations with Sons About Sexuality

14:40 Instilling Appreciation for Beauty and Healthy Masculinity

19:01 Understanding Attachment and Affection in Male Development

23:55 The Role of Curiosity in Sexual Education

27:37 Navigating Parental Conversations on Sexuality

30:40 The Importance of Openness in Sex Education

32:37 Understanding Desire vs. Drive in Sexuality

34:59 Healing from Past Trauma and Embracing Curiosity

37:50 The Role of Respect and Boundaries in Sexual Conversations

40:55 Distinguishing Between Awe, Lust, and Desire

51:10 Encouragement for Men on Their Sexual Journey

Keywords

masculine sexuality, sexual trauma recovery, men's issues, therapy, healthy sexuality, generational sin, sexual education, emotional health, parenting, self-discovery

In this episode, the hosts engage in a deep conversation with Jasmine Mullen, exploring themes of vulnerability, emotional engagement, and the journey of self-discovery through writing and music. Jasmine shares her experiences as a mixed-race individual and how it influences her storytelling, particularly in her children's books. The discussion also explores the concept of holistic masculinity, emphasizing the importance of emotional awareness and connection in relationships. The episode concludes with reflections on the power of storytelling and the significance of understanding oneself and others.

Takeaways

• The importance of vulnerability in relationships.
• Jasmine Mullen's journey as a writer and musician.
• The significance of emotional engagement in understanding oneself.
• Exploring the themes of belonging and identity in storytelling.
• The challenges and beauty of being mixed race.
• The role of children's literature in conveying complex emotions.
• Holistic masculinity involves emotional awareness and connection.
• Personal experiences shape the narratives we create.
• The power of storytelling to foster understanding and empathy.
• The value of diverse voices in discussions about masculinity.

Follow Jasmine: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jasminemullen⁠

Check out Odd Man Out: ⁠https://a.co/d/4Lp8bYc⁠

Check out Newbie on the Block: ⁠https://a.co/d/6KXI7Tv⁠

Listen to the New Respects: ⁠https://www.thenewrespects.com/⁠

Find more tools and resources from Three Percent: ⁠www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

00:00 The Importance of Diverse Voices

03:03 Jasmine's Musical Journey

05:51 The Ben Washington Book Series

07:57 Themes of Identity and Belonging

10:30 Personal Reflections on Mixed Identity

18:52 Reflections on Race and Identity

28:45 Navigating School Experiences and Racial Identity

34:13 Defining Holistic Masculinity

41:46 Closing Thoughts and Future Conversations

Keywords

vulnerability, emotional engagement, writing, mixed race, holistic masculinity, personal experiences, storytelling, music, relationships, self-discovery

In this episode, we welcome therapist, writer, and podcast host Blake Blankenbecler into a powerful conversation about emotional language, body awareness, and the harm of emotional outsourcing. Blake unpacks why many men struggle to name their inner world and what it takes to reclaim curiosity, tenderness, and truth. Together, we talk about the nervous system, faith deconstruction, co-regulation, and why presence is the most healing thing we offer one another. This episode will meet you where you are and gently invite you further in.

Takeaways

• “If I can’t be with it, I can’t heal it.” Naming precedes healing.

• Outsourcing your emotions to others is common—but it can become harmful.

• Co-regulation is foundational to emotional safety in relationships.

• Curiosity helps us approach our pain instead of controlling it.

• The nervous system needs safety to tell the truth.

• You can’t think your way into healing—your body has to believe it too.

• Presence is the most healing gift we can offer in a hurting world.

• Emotionally safe men are formed, not found.

Check out more of Blake Blankenbecler:

🌐 Website – ⁠blakeblankenbecler.com ⁠

📸 Instagram –⁠ @blakeblankenbecler⁠

The Friendship Deck: ⁠thefriendshipdeck.com⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

(00:00) Meet Blake Blankenbecler – Therapist

(03:00) Language for the Inner Life

(06:00) What is Emotional Outsourcing?

(10:00) The Power of Co-Regulation

(14:00) Why Men Struggle to Name Emotions

(18:00) Body-Based Healing and the Nervous System

(22:00) From Christian Duty to Emotional Honesty

(26:00) How Curiosity Changes the Healing Process

(30:00) Practicing Emotional Responsibility

(33:00) The Lie of Being Too Much

(36:00) Faith, Attachment, and Embodied Safety

(41:00) Relationships as the Place of Repair

(45:00) Where to Find Blake Online

Keywords

Blake Blankenbecler, Three Percent, emotional health, holistic masculinity, co-regulation, emotional outsourcing, nervous system healing, trauma recovery, therapy, men’s emotions, inner work, Christian deconstruction, embodiment, faith and healing, presence, emotional literacy, emotional responsibility, relationships, healing through connection, curiosity, somatic healing, mental health, attachment, tenderness, emotional safety

In this conversation, the hosts explore the themes of holistic masculinity, vulnerability, and the impact of trauma on relationships with Dr. Dan Allender. They discuss the importance of kindness, honesty, and the role of family of origin in shaping one's identity. The conversation emphasizes the need for deep friendships and support in navigating the complexities of marriage and personal growth. Dr. Allender shares insights from his new book, 'Deep Rooted Marriage,' highlighting the significance of emotional intimacy and the journey towards healing and understanding in relationships.

Takeaways

• Holistic masculinity involves exploring what gets in the way of who men want to be.
• Vulnerability is essential for reclaiming a truer version of masculinity.
• Friendship plays a crucial role in supporting personal growth and healing.
• Trauma can significantly impact relationships and communication.
• Conflict in marriage often stems from deeper issues related to past experiences.
• Kindness and honesty are vital in navigating difficult conversations.
• Understanding one's family of origin is key to recognizing patterns in relationships.
• The journey of marriage is a redemptive process that requires ongoing effort.
• Emotional intimacy is cultivated through shared experiences and honest communication.
• The book 'Deep Rooted Marriage' aims to provide tools for couples to navigate their relationship more effectively.

Go buy Dan's new book: https://www.thomasnelson.com/p/deep-rooted-marriage/

Check out more of Dan's work: https://theallendercenter.org/

Find more tools and resources from Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

00:00 Exploring the 3% Concept

05:01 The Role of Vulnerability in Masculinity

09:42 Navigating Relationships and Conflict

14:23 The Importance of Deep Connections

18:48 Delight and Honor in Relationships

25:18 The War Zone of Love and Shame

28:07 Engaging with Trauma in Relationships

32:16 The Impact of Past Trauma on Present Relationships

36:06 The Invitation to Reality in Marriage

36:43 Why This Book Matters Now

43:22 The Importance of Self-Reflection

48:03 The Role of Kindness in Healing

53:07 Honoring Your Story and Family of Origin

58:21 Imagining a Future of Love and Redemption

Keywords

holistic masculinity, trauma, relationships, vulnerability, communication, kindness, honesty, family of origin, emotional intimacy, marriage

In this engaging conversation, Scott Erickson, an artist and author, shares his journey of vulnerability, creativity, and the importance of deep friendships. The discussion explores the challenges of navigating life's responsibilities, the impact of societal expectations on male friendships, and the healing power of honest conversations. Scott emphasizes the need for interdependence and community support, especially in times of mental health struggles. The conversation culminates in a call for connection and the significance of sharing one's story.

Takeaways

• Scott Erickson is an artist and author known for his vulnerability.
• The importance of being honest about one's struggles and feelings.
• Navigating life's responsibilities can lead to feelings of malaise.
• Regret over unfulfilled dreams can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
• Embracing limitations can enhance creativity.

• Creative expression can be a powerful tool for healing.
• Building deep male friendships requires vulnerability and intentionality.
• Community and connection are essential for mental health.

Chapters

00:00 The Journey of Vulnerability and Honesty

06:21 Navigating Life's Questions and Responsibilities

11:12 Embracing Limitations in Creativity

18:46 Transforming Pain into Creative Expression

20:12 The Gift of Creative Process

23:47 The Importance of Vulnerable Friendships

26:20 Navigating Male Friendships

30:21 Building Deeper Connections

35:58 Intentionality in Friendships

42:20 The Power of Vulnerability in Friendships

45:06 Intentional Interdependence: Rebuilding Connections

49:53 The Struggle with Asking for Help

56:50 Normalizing Conversations Around Mental Health

Check us out on Instagram and Substack!

⁠https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/⁠

⁠https://substack.com/@threepercent

Keywords

Portland, Nashville, Scott Erickson, vulnerability, creativity, male friendships, mental health, community, healing, art

Summary

In this episode of the 3% Podcast, hosts Jamie and Blake share their personal stories, backgrounds, and experiences to foster a sense of community and connection with their audience. They discuss their early lives, professional journeys, family dynamics, and significant life events that have shaped their perspectives. The conversation emphasizes the importance of honesty, vulnerability, and building relationships in the context of therapy and personal growth.

Takeaways

• The podcast aims to create a community and relationship with listeners.
• Understanding the hosts' backgrounds is essential for context in future discussions.
• Both hosts have diverse professional experiences before becoming therapists.
• Family dynamics play a significant role in shaping personal stories.
• Honesty and vulnerability are crucial in therapy and relationships.
• Key life moments can influence one's path and perspective.
• The importance of seeking help and therapy is highlighted in their stories.
• Both hosts have experienced challenges in their personal lives that inform their work.
• The podcast encourages listeners to engage and ask questions about their stories.

Chapters

00:00 Prayer and Reflection on the Journey

10:38 Professional Journeys and Passions

16:21 Key Life Moments and Influences

24:06 Personal Stories of Struggle and Growth

38:09 The Importance of Honesty and Connection

Check us out on Instagram and Substack!

https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/

https://substack.com/@threepercent

The 3% Podcast aims to create a community for men to explore vulnerability, mental health, and personal growth. The hosts, Jamie and Blake, share their experiences in therapy and recovery, emphasizing the importance of honesty and connection. They discuss the epidemic of loneliness among men and the need for deeper relationships with oneself and others. The podcast serves as a platform for sharing stories, tools, and insights to help listeners navigate their own journeys of self-discovery and healing.

Takeaways

• The 3% concept represents the emotions we keep to ourselves.
• Loneliness is a significant issue for many men today.
• Vulnerability is essential for deeper connections.
• The podcast is a space for sharing personal stories.
• Recovery is not just for those with addictions.
• Creating a community helps combat feelings of isolation.
• Honesty and self-awareness are key to personal growth.
• The hosts aim to provide practical tools for listeners.
• Breaking generational patterns is a focus of the podcast.
• Listeners are encouraged to keep coming back for support.

Chapters

00:00 The Concept of 3% and Its Importance

04:06 The Purpose of the Podcast and Community

08:58 Vulnerability and Courage in Relationships

14:09 Closing Thoughts and Future Directions

Welcome to Three Percent! This is your space if you’re on a journey of pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith.

We’re here to provide evidence-based guidance and proven strategies drawn from our experiences as therapists, friends, and mentors.

We aren’t here to give you gimmicks or superficial “hacks.” We’re not telling you who to be, we're helping you uncover what gets in the way of being the man you want to be and offering you the authentic tools needed for tangible growth.

We're glad you're here. Keep coming back. You're worth it.

In this episode, hosts Blake and Jamie dive into the emotional lives of men—what we feel, what we’ve been taught to suppress, and what it might look like to live more honestly. They explore how fear, shame, and sadness often hide beneath anger, and why many men are disconnected from their bodies, relationships, and even themselves. From childhood messages to faith, parenting, and emotional repair, this conversation is vulnerable, practical, and full of grace. Whether you’re just beginning to name your emotions or walking others through healing, this episode offers language, insight, and permission to feel.

Takeaways

• Anger is often the visible emotion masking fear, shame, or sadness.

• Most men are taught to intellectualize or avoid emotions entirely.

• Emotional fluency begins with naming what’s actually happening inside.

• We often fear our emotions will make us weak—but vulnerability leads to strength.

• The body holds emotional wisdom many of us were never taught to trust.

• Emotional repair is possible in relationships when we lead with honesty.

• Faith, theology, and masculinity all shape how we relate to our emotions.

• Safety and curiosity are the prerequisites for emotional healing.
  

Resources

Chip Dodd Emotions Chart: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/62e2d6c397d6ff1fd356ed8f/t/632cbee0b6a9703239cd018f/1725475063690/8+Feelings.pdf 

Learn more about Three Percent:

🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com⁠

📸 Instagram –⁠ @threepercentco

Chapters

(00:00) Welcome to the Emotions Episode

(03:00) Why Talk About Emotions?

(06:00) Men and the Fear of Feeling

(09:00) What We Learned Growing Up About Emotions

(12:00) Anger, Sadness, Shame—What’s Really Underneath?

(16:00) Why Men Disconnect From the Body

(20:00) Faith and Emotional Formation

(25:00) Emotional Literacy in Parenting

(28:00) When You Feel Unsafe in Relationship

(32:00) The Power of Curiosity and Naming Emotions

(36:00) Repair, Vulnerability, and Starting Again

(40:00) Final Thoughts on Living Fully Alive

Keywords

Three Percent, masculinity, emotions, emotional health, anger, fear, shame, sadness, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, emotional literacy, fatherhood, parenting, emotional intelligence, Christian men, faith and emotions, childhood wounds, trauma, inner work, embodiment, safety, repair, naming emotions, identity, integrity, spiritual formation, relationship dynamics

In this honest and redemptive episode, we talk with Young Woong Yi—pastor, church planter, and spiritual formation leader—about anger, masculinity, and becoming a safe man. Young shares how growing up in an immigrant household shaped his relationship with emotions, and how repressed sadness and generational patterns of power led to a breaking point in his marriage. He opens up about the life-saving intervention of his church, the deep healing that followed, and what it means to cultivate emotional safety in leadership, relationships, and spiritual formation. This episode is a masterclass in transformation, humility, and the long road to becoming whole.

Takeaways

• “An emotionally volatile man is not a safe man.”
• Repressed anger often masks deeper emotions like sadness, fear, or shame.
• Emotional safety is a core component of holistic masculinity.
• The church can be a place of healing when leaders respond with grace.
• We often say to our spouse what we never got to say to our parents.
• Healing begins with language, awareness, and the courage to ask for help.
• Anger’s gift is advocacy—but only when processed with honesty and care.
• Spiritual formation must address emotional and mental health, not just theology.

Check out more of Young Yi:

📸 Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/brotheryoung/

Substack: https://substack.com/@brotheryoung

🌐 Church Plant – https://www.instagram.com/kindredchurchmi/

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐 https://threepercentco.com/

Chapters

(00:00) Meet Young Yi – Pastor, Photographer, Church Planter

(02:00) Blake’s Story: Anger Repression and Performance

(04:30) A Relationship with Anger?

(07:00) Emotional Abuse, Immigrant Parenting, and Powering Up

(10:00) Learning How to Win Through Anger

(13:00) From Veterinary School to Ministry

(16:00) Marriage as a Mirror: Anger Exposed

(18:00) “You’re Bullying Me”: The Catalyst for Change

(20:00) Church Leadership Responds with Grace

(23:00) Six Months of Paid Leave and Intense Therapy

(26:00) What Changed Young’s View of Masculinity

(29:00) Anger Isn’t Always Justified Action

(32:00) The Anger Iceberg & Sadness Beneath the Surface

(35:00) Generational Messaging: “Men Don’t Cry”

(38:00) Learning to Say: “That Made Me Really Sad”

(41:00) Advocating for the Child Within

(45:00) How Anger Impacts Spiritual Formation

(49:00) Church Culture, Jesus, and Emotional Health

(52:00) Final Encouragement to Men: Ask for Help

(54:00) Where to Find Young & Kindred Church

Keywords

Young Yi, Three Percent, holistic masculinity, anger, emotional safety, immigrant family, Korean American, spiritual formation, church hurt, inner child, marriage counseling, masculinity and emotions, mental health in ministry, vulnerability, leadership, discipleship, shame, sadness, advocacy, safe men, healing, therapy, pastoral care, emotional intelligence, Kindred Church, genogram, Pete Scazzero, Voice of the Heart, Rich Villodas, Chip Dodd, Christian men, identity formation, marriage restoration

In this episode, we sit down with writer, editor, and host of The Writer’s Circle podcast, Will Parker Anderson. Will opens up about the intersection of storytelling and vulnerability, holistic masculinity modeled by Jesus, and why real writing—and real life—requires full presence. From discussing confession and shame to the importance of being known in community, this conversation offers wisdom for anyone seeking healing, depth, and the courage to be honest. Will’s pastoral insight and personal honesty will challenge and comfort you.

Takeaways

• The best writing is the overflow of honest living.

• Holistic masculinity is modeled by Jesus—servanthood over dominance.

• We can’t be fully known by God if we hide from people.

• Vulnerability isn’t an event—it’s a habit of letting light in.

• Confession is painful but leads to soul-level relief and formation.

• Mentorship and trusted community are vital for healing.

(00:00) Meet Will Parker Anderson

(02:00) Writing as Overflow of Living

(04:30) Holistic Masculinity as Servanthood

(09:00) Vulnerability in Storytelling and Relationships

(14:00) Why Men Struggle to Tell the Truth

(18:00) You Can’t Be Known By God Without Being Known By Others

(22:00) Healing from Hurt Happens in Relationship

(26:00) The Poison and the Cure Grow Side-by-Side

(30:00) Will’s Story of Confession and Grace

(36:00) The Risk of Vulnerability

(41:00) What Gets Affirmed Gets Repeated

(45:00) Neurobiology of Being Seen and Known

(50:00) Mentorship and Gentle Discipleship

(54:00) Where to Find Will and Writer’s Circle

Keywords

Will Parker Anderson, Three Percent, writing and vulnerability, storytelling, holistic masculinity, servanthood, confession, shame, grace, recovery, writer’s circle, Penguin Random House, Substack, emotional intelligence, community, mentorship, being known, faith and healing, honesty, Jesus, fatherhood, integrity, spiritual formation, trauma recovery, mental health, deconstruction, masculinity and faith, relational healing, writing process

In this powerful episode, we sit down with former NFL player and West Point graduate Caleb Campbell to explore his journey from performance-driven success to soul-level healing. Caleb shares how the pressure to be “America’s Athlete” led to emotional collapse—and ultimately, a profound spiritual transformation. Now a speaker and coach, Caleb helps others navigate “threshold moments” where letting go becomes the doorway to becoming more whole. We talk about masculinity, grief, addiction, expansion, and why every death can be a doorway to deeper life. This is not just a conversation—it’s a call to wholeness.

Takeaways

• Holistic masculinity is less about control and more about presence and emotional safety.

• Every expansion in life requires a letting go of what no longer serves us.

• We can’t criticize ourselves into healing—only compassion transforms us.

• Our greatest transformations often come through grief and ambiguity.

• External success without internal capacity leads to burnout and collapse.

• Spiritual growth means returning to what’s always been true: you are already held.
  

Check out more of Caleb Campbell:

🌐 Website –⁠ www.calebcampbell.me⁠

📸 Instagram –⁠ @caleb_campbell⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

(00:00) Meeting Caleb Campbell – Athlete, Speaker, Threshold Guide

(05:00) What is Holistic Masculinity?

(09:00) Disconnection, Performance, and the Wounded Masculine

(12:00) NFL Dreams & The Crisis of Identity

(18:00) From NFL to Janitor: The Journey of Letting Go

(21:00) Discovering Creativity and Storytelling

(23:00) A $10,000 Gift & the Call to Keep Telling His Story

(27:00) The Role of Grief in Spiritual Expansion

(30:00) Ambiguous Grief & Redefining Loss

(33:00) Trusting the Darkness as an Invitation

(36:00) Choosing the Death That Makes You Bigger

(40:00) Living with Original Knowing – You Are Already Held

(45:00) Welcoming Home the Loyal Soldiers Within

(48:00) Exvangelical Identity & Deconstructing with Compassion

(53:00) Caleb’s Upcoming Book & Coaching Work

(58:00) Final Reflections on Expansion, Soul Work, and Christ Consciousness

Keywords

Caleb Campbell, Three Percent, holistic masculinity, grief, expansion, NFL, identity, soul work, spiritual formation, healing, threshold, emotional safety, original knowing, addiction recovery, exvangelical, compassion, personal growth, transformation, deconstruction, presence, wounded masculine, coaching, wholeness, self-awareness, leadership and well-being, emotional healing, men’s work, letting go, faith journey, Richard Rohr, Francis Weller, mysticism, spiritual awakening

In this episode, we talk with Ben Cremer—pastor, writer, and author of Into the Gray—about masculinity, humility, binary thinking, and the deep spiritual cost of choosing power over people. Ben opens up about his painful exit from denominational ministry, how his upbringing in Idaho shaped his faith, and why Jesus' model of strength challenges the dominant cultural narratives of manhood. We explore themes of empathy, nonviolence, spiritual formation, and the courage it takes to be curious and kind in polarized spaces. This conversation is a garden of nuance, honesty, and healing.

Takeaways

• Holistic masculinity looks like Jesus—not dominance, but humility and presence.

• Proximity breeds empathy; curiosity breeds compassion.

• We often choose power over love when fear leads our thinking.

• The Christian path is about cultivation, not conquest.

• Humility opens the door to transformation and healing.

• The incarnation shows us God’s way is relationship, not rigid belief.

• Repair is more important than rupture; we’re called to be Jesus’ hands, not the Savior.

  
  

Check out more of Ben Cremer:

Instagram –⁠ @brcremer⁠

Newsletter –⁠ Into the Gray⁠

⁠Ben's Website⁠

⁠Substack⁠

⁠X⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

(00:00) Introduction to Ben Cremer

(02:10) Life, Family, and Ministry Roots in Idaho

(07:00) Shifts in Denominational Alignment

(12:00) Being Pushed Out of the Church You Love

(15:00) What is Holistic Masculinity?

(20:00) David, Strength, and God’s Rebuke through Nathan

(23:00) Gardening vs. Gladiators – Chuck DeGroat's Reflection

(26:00) Resurrection and the Garden Metaphor

(29:00) Why Don’t We Get It? Power, Fear, and Control

(34:00) The Power of Incarnation

(37:00) Binary Thinking and the Cost of Certainty

(43:00) Online Pastoral Ministry and Personal Boundaries

(47:00) Humility in the Face of Misunderstanding

(49:00) Final Reflections & Where to Find Ben

Keywords

Ben Cremer, Three Percent, holistic masculinity, Into the Gray, Idaho, spiritual formation, Christian culture, emotional intelligence, binary thinking, fear and power, online ministry, pastoral pain, incarnation, gospel, humility, empathy, compassion, vulnerability, deconstruction, mental health, church hurt, curiosity, Jesus, masculinity, David and Nathan, spiritual growth, gardening metaphor, Chuck DeGroat, discipleship

In this episode, we engage in a deep conversation with Marc Typo about the complexities of fatherhood, masculinity, and emotional expression. We explore the challenges of raising children in a world that often stigmatizes vulnerability, particularly for men. Marc shares his experiences as a father and writer, emphasizing the importance of creating safe spaces for emotional expression and the need for holistic masculinity that embraces both strength and vulnerability. The discussion highlights the impact of upbringing on emotional regulation and the desire to break generational cycles of toxic masculinity.

Takeaways

• Writing about fatherhood helps Marc maintain focus on gratitude.
• We are born soft and emotional.
• It's important to model safety for our children.
• The lighthouse analogy reflects our role as parents.
• We need to allow men to be fragile and soft.
• Creating safe spaces for emotional expression is crucial.

Check out more of Marc Typo:

Website - ⁠https://www.raisingmyles.com/⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/marc.typo⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: ⁠www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

00:00 Exploring Holistic Masculinity

07:39 The Journey of Fatherhood

12:48 Navigating Emotions and Vulnerability

18:50 Selflessness in Parenting

20:34 Navigating Fatherhood and Self-Reflection

22:43 Confronting Internal Narratives

23:59 Emotional Expression in Parenting

26:44 Creating Safe Spaces for Children

29:57 The Lighthouse Analogy in Parenting

32:38 Understanding Softness and Strength

36:33 The Journey Back to Emotional Authenticity

41:10 Maintaining Safety Amidst Turbulence

Keywords

fatherhood, masculinity, vulnerability, emotional expression, parenting, holistic masculinity, self-awareness, emotional safety, black fatherhood, personal growth, marriage, emotional connection, shame, spirituality, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, childhood experiences, self-compassion, self-contempt, recovery, holistic healing

In this episode, the hosts engage in a deep conversation with Sheila Wray Gregoire about the complexities of masculinity, vulnerability, and the challenges within marriage. They explore the impact of traditional teachings on relationships, the importance of emotional connection, and the mental load often carried by women. Sheila shares insights from her research on sexual satisfaction and the need for open communication in marriages. The discussion emphasizes the significance of creating safety in relationships and how positive changes can ripple through various aspects of a couple's life together.

Takeaways

• Healthy masculinity involves taking initiative to care for others.
• Vulnerability is essential for deeper connections in relationships.
• Research shows that traditional marriage teachings can harm both men and women.
• Emotional connection is crucial for marital satisfaction.
• Men often carry shame that affects their relationships.
• The mental load in marriages often falls disproportionately on women.
• Improving one aspect of a relationship can positively impact others.
• Communication about sex is often hindered by societal teachings.
• Creating safety in relationships allows for open conversations.
• Couples should work as partners to share responsibilities.

Check out more of Sheila Wray Gregoire:

Website - ⁠https://sheilawraygregoire.com/⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sheilagregoire/⁠

Bare Marriage Podcast - ⁠https://www.buzzsprout.com/242918⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: ⁠www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

00:00 Defining Healthy Masculinity

06:09 Sheila's Journey into Marriage and Sex Education

09:32 Research Findings on Marriage and Sexual Satisfaction

12:18 Challenging Evangelical Teachings

15:14 The Impact of Cultural Narratives on Relationships

18:22 Addressing Shame and Responsibility in Men

21:09 Navigating Sexuality and Intimacy

24:24 The Role of Communication in Healthy Relationships

27:24 Concluding Thoughts and Future Directions

33:40 Understanding Marriage as a Partnership

34:47 The Importance of Emotional Connection

37:23 Mental Load and Housework Dynamics

41:05 The Unseen Burden of Kin Keeping

47:34 The Unfairness Threshold in Marriages

49:25 Creating Smooth Roads in Relationships

54:02 Navigating Shame and Vulnerability

59:34 The Ripple Effect of Connection

Keywords

masculinity, vulnerability, marriage, emotional connection, sexual satisfaction, gender roles, communication, shame, mental load, relationships, spirituality, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, grief, emotional health, mental health resources, holistic masculinity, vulnerability, fatherhood, childhood experiences, self-compassion, shame, self-contempt, recovery, emotional safety, holistic healing

Why do the people we love most have the ability to trigger us the fastest?

In this conversation, Dr. Kelly Flanagan joins Jamie and Blake to explore what really happens when we move from connection into protection. Drawing from his new book, The Road Less Triggered, Kelly explains how our nervous systems react to perceived threats, why our hearts close in moments of conflict, and how we can learn to stay present instead of becoming defensive.

Together, they unpack why anger is often a doorway into deeper emotions, how sadness gets blocked for many men, and why healing begins by asking not “What’s wrong with me?” but “What happened to me?” The conversation is practical, deeply compassionate, and full of memorable metaphors that make complex emotional dynamics easier to understand.

If you’ve ever felt hijacked by your reactions, struggled to stay open in conflict, or wondered why small moments create such big responses, this episode offers a hopeful path toward greater calm, freedom, and connection.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Why being triggered is normal—and doesn’t mean you’re broken
• How to move from protection mode back into connection mode
• Why anger often points to sadness underneath the surface
• What it means to restore your sense of choice in conflict
• How boundaries can be set with an open heart
• Why healing turns 30-day conflicts into 30-second recoveries

CHAPTERS

(00:00) Introducing Kelly Flanagan and The Road Less Triggered(05:00) Turning 30 days of conflict into 30 seconds(10:00) What it actually means to be triggered(14:00) Restoring your sense of choice(18:00) Why your nervous system thinks you’re in danger(22:00) Jamie’s story of trauma and non-consensual touch(27:00) Loneliness: feeling unseen, misunderstood, and unsupported(31:00) Calmness before connectedness(34:00) Anger as a doorway into your emotional life(38:00) The sadness underneath anger and anxiety(48:00) Openhearted boundaries(52:00) Final reflections and practical application

LINKS & RESOURCES

• Dr. Kelly Flanagan
• Book: The Road Less Triggered
• Three Percent
• Join The Basement (private community)

KEYWORDS

Kelly Flanagan, The Road Less Triggered, Three Percent Podcast, emotional triggers, relationships, marriage, anger, sadness, boundaries, vulnerability, men’s mental health, nervous system, trauma and healing, connection, emotional regulation

What actually makes someone feel safe?

In this episode, Jamie and Blake slow down to explore one of the questions they’ve been asked most recently: what does “safety” actually mean—and how does it connect to the core idea behind Three Percent?

Through personal stories, recovery experiences, parenting examples, and reflections on friendship, they unpack why vulnerability feels so difficult for most people. Not because something is wrong with us, but because many of us learned early on that honesty, emotion, or neediness didn’t feel safe. The result? We stay hidden, disconnected, and stuck carrying things alone.

This conversation reframes vulnerability not as weakness, but as courage. It’s about learning how to recognize safe people, becoming safer people ourselves, and understanding that sharing your “3%” isn’t about oversharing—it’s about creating the kind of connection that leads to healing, freedom, and growth.

If you’ve ever struggled to open up, feared being fully known, or wondered why emotional honesty feels so uncomfortable, this episode will help put language to it.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Why vulnerability often feels unsafe long before adulthood

• How relational safety is built through attunement, repair, and consistency

• What “3%” actually means beyond the podcast name

• Why sharing your story creates deeper connection and healing

• The difference between emotional safety and emotional comfort

• Why staying hidden may feel protective—but ultimately costs more

CHAPTERS

(00:00) Looking for a new podcast co-host

(02:00) Why this conversation about safety matters

(04:00) How childhood shapes vulnerability in adulthood

(07:00) Trauma, attachment, and feeling emotionally unsafe

(10:00) What attunement actually means

(12:00) Helping kids regulate emotions in real time

(15:00) Why many adults never learned emotional safety

(16:00) The deeper meaning behind “3%”

(19:00) How to know if someone feels safe

(21:00) The fly fishing story and relational vulnerability

(24:00) Predictability, repair, and emotional trust

(27:00) What being safe for someone else actually looks like

(29:00) Why accountability and compassion must coexist

(33:00) “Vulnerability will always cost you something”

(35:00) Why staying hidden costs even more

(37:00) An invitation into deeper connection in The Basement

LINKS & RESOURCES

• Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/

• Join The Basement (private community + monthly Q&A): https://threepercentco.com/membership

KEYWORDS

Three Percent Podcast, vulnerability, emotional safety, attachment, trauma and healing, men’s mental health, relationships, emotional regulation, authenticity, connection, shame, healing, friendship, accountability, personal growth

Join The Basement – https://threepercentco.com/membership

Three Percent Website – https://threepercentco.com/

Follow Three Percent on IG: https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/

Season 2 of Three Percent is officially underway.

In this episode, Blake Roberts and Jamie Haigh pull back the curtain on what’s ahead for the podcast this year. After releasing nearly 40 episodes in their first season, they’re returning with a clearer structure, deeper conversations, and a brand-new way for listeners to engage beyond just listening.

They share the vision for Season 2, including a new rhythm of guest conversations, therapist-led discussions, and a new series where they respond to the most common mental health questions people ask AI.

Blake and Jamie also reflect on the tension of creating meaningful resources while inviting people to support the work financially—and why they believe real transformation happens when people move beyond information and into vulnerability and practice.

If Season 1 was about building the podcast, Season 2 is about building a community.

Takeaways

• Season 2 introduces a new structure with interviews, host conversations, and question-based episodes.

• The Basement community was created for people who want to engage their emotional lives more intentionally.

• Vulnerability and support are necessary parts of meaningful personal growth.

• Everyone is recovering from something, and community helps us move toward healing.

What Is “The Basement”?

The Basement is the new private Three Percent community.

Inside the community, members will find:

• Monthly deep-dive Q&A episodes

• Opportunities to submit questions for Blake and Jamie

• Guided reflections and practical tools

• Connection with others who are doing the work of emotional growth

Membership helps support the podcast while creating a space where listeners can move beyond passive consumption into active engagement.

Join The Basement – https://threepercentco.com/membership

Chapters

(00:00) Welcome to Season 2

(01:50) Looking Back at Season 1

(04:10) The New Structure for Season 2 Episodes

(07:10) The AI Mental Health Question Series

(10:30) The Benefits and Limits of AI in Emotional Growth

(14:00) Understanding “Top Plate” Episodes

(16:30) Introducing The Basement Community

(19:20) Why It’s Called “The Basement”

(22:00) Moving from Consumption to Engagement

(24:30) The Vulnerability of Asking for Support

(26:30) What They Hope This Community Becomes

(28:30) Progress, Not Perfection

(30:00) Final Invitation to Join

Keywords

Three Percent podcast, men’s mental health, emotional health, masculinity, vulnerability, personal growth, emotional awareness, therapy conversations, faith and psychology, AI mental health questions, community building, recovery, emotional honesty, The Basement community, relationships, spiritual formation

Sign up for our email list: ⁠https://three-percent-co.kit.com/4c81475a7e

Learn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com

Instagram – @threepercent.co

We’re back.

In this short (but not that short) teaser episode, Blake and Jamie welcome listeners into Season 2 of Three Percent, reflecting on the break, naming the realities of life with young kids, and sharing what’s been happening behind the scenes while the podcast feed was quiet.

They talk about why they paused, what they’ve been building during the break, and why Season 2 marks a shift from just a podcast to a deeper, more intentional community.

You’ll hear about the official Season 2 launch date, the upcoming private community, what listeners can expect this year, and how you can stay connected as Three Percent grows beyond weekly episodes.

This episode is an invitation: to reconnect, to participate, and to keep showing up together.

Takeaways

• Season 2 is about going beyond the podcast and into deeper community.

• Life, kids, and capacity matter—and choosing family is part of integrity.

• Listener engagement (reviews, comments, emails) has shaped the direction of the show.

• Season 2 launches Monday, March 2.

• You are invited to take the next step with us.

Chapters

00:00 Welcome Back & The Reality of Life with Kids

01:00 What Three Percent Is (and Why It Exists)

02:00 Why This Is a Teaser Episode

03:00 The Intentional Break: Holidays, Family, and Planning

04:30 Apology for the Disappearance

06:00 The Boundaries Bonus Episode (Still Coming)

07:30 Season 2 Vision & Guest Overflow

09:00 Going Beyond the Podcast

10:30 Introducing the Private Community

12:00 Why We’re Choosing Community Over Ads

14:00 Why the Email List Matters

15:30 Spotify Growth & New Listeners

17:00 Favorite Episodes from Season 1

19:00 Topics Coming in Season 2

21:00 How You Can Shape the Show

22:30 Gratitude, Reviews, and What’s Next

23:30 Final Invitation & Closing Words

Important Links & Calls to Action

Join the Three Percent Email List: https://three-percent-co.kit.com/4c81475a7e

Favorites from Season 1

• The Top Plate Coaching Call

• The Friendship Episode

• Scott Erickson Conversation

• Dr. Andrew Bauman Episode

Send Topic Ideas, Stories, or Boundary Fails hello@threepercentco.com

Keywords

Three Percent, Season 2, podcast teaser, men’s mental health, emotional honesty, community, masculinity, therapy, boundaries, healing, vulnerability, spiritual formation, identity, relationships, growth, reflection

In this end-of-year episode, Blake and Jamie look back on ten months of building the Three Percent community—30,000+ streams, 75 countries, countless vulnerable conversations, and a growing team that has made this project possible.

This episode is equal parts celebration, reflection, honest storytelling, and heartfelt gratitude. Blake and Jamie peel back the curtain on what it’s actually been like behind the scenes: the long mornings, the late nights, raising little kids, navigating personal hardships, and still choosing to show up every week because this work matters.

They share the origins of Three Percent, the goals they set at the beginning of the year, the ones they’ve already surpassed, and the dreams they’re chasing next. You’ll also hear about upcoming retreats, new offerings for 2026, how they think about honesty and boundaries, and a hilarious holiday prompt you can participate in.

This episode is a love letter to the community that has formed around this podcast. Thank you for listening, sharing, reviewing, and showing up. You’ve helped build something truly meaningful.

Takeaways

• 30,000+ streams in the first year is beyond what Blake and Jamie expected.

• The community is the reason this show has grown—your reviews, shares, and messages matter.

• Behind the scenes, they’ve navigated personal pain, exhaustion, and spiritual tension while continuing to create.

• Creative energy often shows up late in the process—after structure and safety are present.

• This year revealed the deep need for honest, sturdy, compassionate men’s spaces,

• A growing team (Jackson & Derek!) has made the show sustainable.

• Big dreams are underway: retreats, a men’s framework for churches, expanded offerings, and a permanent studio.

• • Vulnerability must be held within boundaries—honesty can be public, personal, or private.

  
  

  Resources & Mentions

• Episode: What To Do With Your Inner Critic with Aundi Kolber

• Episode: Top Plate Coaching Call with Dustin Duvall

• Free Download: Pause, Pray, Process Method (via email list)

• Email your holiday story: hello@threepercentco.com
  

Chapters

(00:00) How This Podcast Has Shaped Us

(01:00) Welcome to the End-of-Year Celebration

(02:00) Behind-the-Scenes Banter & Recording Energy

(05:30) Being Dads, Therapists, & Podcast Hosts

(07:00) How the Show Has Grown Because of You

(13:00) The Impact of Listener Reviews & Messages

(15:00) Revisiting the Original 2024 Goals

(17:00) Hitting 30,000 Streams (Triple the Goal!)

(18:30) Why the Mission Matters: Men, Honesty & Healing

(20:00) On Vulnerability, Boundaries & Faith

(23:00) Building a Team: Bringing on Jackson & Derek

(25:00) Showing Up Even in Hard Seasons

(27:00) Parenting, Fatigue & Still Choosing This Work

(29:00) Future Dreams: Merch, Retreats, & Collaborations

(42:00) What Topics You Want in Season Two

(44:00) Final Reflections & Gratitude

(45:00) The New Closing Line: Keep Showing Up

Keywords

Three Percent, end of year episode, reflection, men’s mental health, emotional honesty, vulnerability, healing, spiritual formation, community, gratitude, burnout, creativity, parenting, therapy, masculinity, retreats, personal growth, identity, boundaries, integrity, resilience

This week, Blake and Jamie invite listeners into a real-time Top Plate coaching call with 3% community member Dustin Duvall. In this session, Dustin brings his honest history about stress, being a good husband, overwhelm, and the pressure to carry everything at once.

Together they unpack what a Top Plate actually is—the one thing in your life that requires the most attention—and how naming it can radically shift the way you show up for your family, your work, and yourself.

This is a practical and deeply human episode about burnout, boundaries, internal narratives, and the courage it takes to ask for help. If you’re feeling stretched thin or unsure how to keep all the plates spinning, this conversation offers clarity, hope, and next steps.

Takeaways

• Your “Top Plate” is the area of life demanding the most attention—and naming it brings relief.

• Burnout isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s your body telling the truth.

• You can’t lead others well if you’re constantly abandoning yourself.

• Most overwhelm comes from unspoken expectations and silent pressure.

• Compassion and honesty are more effective motivators than shame.

• You don’t need to fix everything at once; you need to take the next right step.
  

Chapters

(00:00) Welcome & What a Top Plate Coaching Call Is

(03:40) Dustin’s Story & Current Stress Points

(07:15) Identifying the Real Top Plate

(11:50) Why Overwhelm Feels Like Failure

(15:00) The Emotional Cost of Carrying Everything

(18:30) When Performance Becomes Your Identity

(22:00) Listening to Your Body’s “Alarm System”

(26:40) Blake’s Coaching: Finding the Pressure Valve

(30:10) What Happens When You Name the Real Issue

(34:20) Dustin’s Breakthrough: Permission to Slow Down

(38:00) Boundaries, Leadership, and Family Health

(42:00) Choosing What Matters Most Right Now

(46:00) The First Next Step

(49:30) Final Coaching Reflections

Keywords

Top Plate, coaching, emotional health, burnout, overwhelm, stress, leadership, boundaries, self-awareness, nervous system, family, identity, masculinity, spiritual formation, Three Percent

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with bestselling author and therapist Aundi Kolber for a powerful conversation about trauma, compassion, the inner critic, and learning to “try softer.”

Aundi shares openly about growing up in an abusive home, how her fierce inner critic helped her survive, and why healing doesn’t come through trying harder—but through a compassionate, regulated relationship with ourselves and others. They unpack attachment, window of tolerance, neurobiology, and why men especially struggle to let go of performance and self-hatred.

This is an episode about shifting from survival mode to connection. About befriending the parts of us we’ve pushed away. And about discovering that compassion is not weakness—it’s strength that doesn’t fold.

Takeaways

• Your inner critic was born for a reason—it helped you survive.

• Healing happens when we can be with our pain, not in our pain.

• Compassion is both tender and fierce: soft toward wounds, strong toward safety.

• Our window of tolerance expands in the presence of regulated, safe relationships.

• You don’t have to tell everyone everything—honesty requires discernment and safety.

• Trying Softer is not giving up; it’s choosing connection over self-punishment.

• We can reassign our inner critic’s job—from attacking us to discerning what’s good for us.

Chapters

(00:00) Aundi’s Story & Meeting the Inner Critic(04:00) Growing Up in Abuse: The Origin of Hyper-Vigilance(08:00) Trauma, Sensitivity & Why Our Parts Form(12:00) Reframing the Inner Critic: A Protector, Not an Enemy(15:00) Attachment, Performance & Getting Needs Met(18:00) How the Body Shrinks its Window of Tolerance(21:00) What Regulation Really Means(24:00) Why Safe Relationships Expand Our Capacity(27:00) Vulnerability, Men’s Groups & Discernment(30:00) Numbing, Shutdown & Forced Dorsal States(33:00) Befriending the Pain We Learned to Fear(37:00) What It Means to “Try Softer”(40:00) Compassion That Doesn’t Fold(45:00) Letting Fierce Compassion Set Boundaries(48:00) Shame, “Still,” and Resentment Toward Our Parts(52:00) Trying Softer as a Lifelong Posture(55:00) The Surprises of Aundi’s Work(58:00) What Gives Aundi Hope(01:00:00) Loaves & Fishes: Being a Steward of Pain(01:02:00) What’s Next for Aundi

Resources

Try Softer — Aundi Kolber
Strong Like Water — Aundi Kolber
Take What You Need — Aundi Kolber

Keywords

Aundi Kolber, Try Softer, Strong Like Water, trauma recovery, inner critic, self-compassion, window of tolerance, attachment, CPTSD, abuse recovery, neurobiology, IFS, shame, masculinity, emotional health, compassion, boundaries, healing, spiritual formation, Three Percent podcast

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Ben Zobrist, former MLB player and two-time World Series champion, for a vulnerable and deeply human conversation about identity, faith, and what happens when the cheering stops.

Ben shares openly about the transition out of professional baseball, the loss of structure and purpose that followed, and how faith became a place of wrestling rather than performance. Together, they explore the tension between success and surrender, what it means to be truly known, and the slow, humble work of healing when your identity is stripped away.

This isn’t a story about baseball—it’s a story about becoming whole.

Takeaways

• Success can hide the deeper questions about who we are and where we belong.

• Leaving a career built on performance can expose old wounds around identity and worth.

• Faith doesn’t eliminate pain—it gives us a way to be honest in it.

• Real healing happens through community, rest, and humility.

• You can lose what you do and still discover who you are.

Check out more from Ben Zobrist:

Instagram – @benzobrist18

Learn more about Champion Forward

Learn more about Three Percent:

www.threepercentco.com

Instagram – @threepercent.co

Chapters

(00:00) Welcome & Introducing Ben Zobrist

(04:10) Life After Baseball: The Unknown Season

(09:20) When Identity Is Built on Performance

(13:50) The Hidden Cost of Success

(18:30) Wrestling with Faith in the Middle of Loss

(22:00) Learning to Rest After Years of Drive

(27:10) What Healing Has Looked Like for Ben

(31:30) Community, Therapy, and Honest Friendship

(36:00) Lessons from Baseball That Still Apply

(41:20) Redefining Winning in Life and Faith

(45:00) Final Reflections and Gratitude

Resources

• 🎧 Related episodes:

• Healing the Heart After Trauma with Dr. Thomas Cabell

• The Strength Men Need to Reclaim with Marc Typo

• A Practical Guide to Engaging Your Emotions

Keywords

Ben Zobrist, MLB, baseball, faith, identity, mental health, healing, masculinity, success, performance, transition, purpose, humility, emotional health, spiritual formation, life after sports, Three Percent podcast

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Justin Whitmel Earley—author, lawyer, and father of four—to talk about habits that shape the heart of a family. Justin shares his story of going from missionary life to corporate law, from breakdown to deep formation, and how he discovered that small, ordinary rhythms can become spiritual lifelines.

They unpack what it looks like to build a household of peace in a world that runs on hurry, noise, and distraction—and why habits of love, presence, and prayer matter more than ever. This conversation blends theology and practicality, inviting us to see that the way we live each day is forming the people we’re becoming.

Takeaways

• Habits aren’t just productivity tools—they’re ways of shaping love and attention.

• Children learn what peace feels like through the rhythms of their parents.

• Morning prayer, shared meals, and nightly blessings anchor the home in presence.

• Hustle culture and hurry are spiritual forces that disconnect us from God and others.

• The household is the front line of formation—and the place where grace meets real life.

Justin's New Book:  The Body Teaches the Soul

Check out more from Justin Whitmel Earley:

Website – www.justinwhitmelearley.com

Instagram – @justinwhitmelearley

Podcast - Intentional Fatherhood Podcast

Learn more about Three Percent:

www.threepercentco.com

Instagram – @threepercent.co

Chapters

(00:00) Introduction & Justin’s Story

(05:20) From Missionary to Lawyer: The Collapse That Changed Everything

(10:45) Discovering the Power of Habits

(15:30) Why the Household Is the Front Line of Formation

(20:00) Practicing Presence in a Distracted World

(26:30) Rhythms of Morning and Evening Prayer

(33:00) What Kids Learn from Watching Our Habits

(38:00) Building Grace into Daily Structure

(42:15) Habits of Work, Rest, and Sabbath

(47:00) The Practice of Blessing and Gratitude

(52:00) How Formation Happens in the Ordinary

(56:00) Closing Reflections

Keywords

Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household, The Common Rule, spiritual formation, habits, discipline, family life, parenting, emotional health, faith, household rhythms, rest, sabbath, presence, hurry, masculinity, relationships, marriage, formation, love, community, Three Percent podcast

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Dr. Thomas Cabell, a physician and teacher whose decades of experience in medicine and spiritual formation have shaped his holistic view of health and healing. In a world that treats brokenness as something to hide or fix, Dr. Cabell offers a countercultural perspective: that healing is not the absence of pain—it’s the restoration of connection.

Together they explore how the body and soul are deeply intertwined, how medicine and faith can work hand-in-hand, and why true health includes emotional honesty, rest, and relationship. With stories from his medical career, spiritual reflections, and grounded wisdom, Dr. Cabell reminds us that becoming whole is less about control and more about courage.

Takeaways

• Healing is a return to connection—within ourselves, with others, and with God.

• The body is always telling the truth; symptoms are invitations, not failures.

• Busyness and disconnection are often modern forms of sickness.

• Listening deeply—to our bodies, our emotions, and each other—is a healing act.

• Integrating medicine, psychology, and faith offers a fuller picture of human flourishing.

Check out more of Dr. Thomas Cabell:  Ascension Health Profile

Learn more about Three Percent:

www.threepercentco.com

Instagram – @threepercentco

Chapters

(00:00) Introduction & Why We Avoid Stillness

(04:30) Dr. Cabell’s Journey into Medicine and Ministry

(10:20) What Patients Teach Us About Healing

(14:50) How the Body and Spirit Speak the Same Language

(20:00) Disconnection as the Root of Disease

(26:30) The Power of Presence in Medicine

(31:00) When Helping Becomes Hiding

(37:00) Integrating Faith, Medicine, and Mental Health

(43:20) How Rest and Play Restore Wholeness

(48:10) What True Healing Looks Like

(53:00) Final Reflections & Encouragement

Keywords

Dr. Thomas Cabell, healthcare, holistic health, spiritual formation, medicine and faith, emotional healing, embodiment, presence, rest, connection, trauma healing, holistic masculinity, men’s mental health, wholeness, soul care, Three Percent podcast

This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with Lexy Florentina, a somatic experiencing practitioner, writer, and teacher helping people reconnect with their bodies after trauma. In this beautiful, grounding conversation, Lexy helps us understand what it means to build a relationship with the body—not to fix or control it, but to listen to it.

Through stories, science, and a live somatic exercise with Blake, Lexy guides us to see that the body isn’t the enemy. It’s been fighting for us, not against us. Together they explore how men, in particular, have been conditioned to override, shame, or disconnect from their emotions—and how healing begins when we learn to be curious instead of critical.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt stuck, numb, or at war with themselves.

Takeaways

• Healing begins when we stop trying to fix our bodies and start listening to them.

• The body’s reactions aren’t failures—they’re survival strategies born from protection.

• Curiosity is the foundation of healing; judgment keeps us disconnected.

• Trauma narrows our menu of choices—healing shows us there are other options.

• Men often carry a shame-based or control-based relationship with their bodies; soft curiosity opens the door to safety.

• Our bodies are always communicating; the question is whether we’ll listen.

Check out more of Lexy Florentina: Website – lexyflorentina.com Instagram – @lexyflorentina Community – Held: A co-resting membership for learning to be with your body

Learn more about Three Percent: www.threepercentco.com Instagram – @threepercentco

Chapters

(00:00) Welcome & Introducing Lexy Florentina

(03:00) What Is Somatic Experiencing?

(07:00) Lexy’s Story: From Complex Trauma to Healing

(10:00) The Body as an Ally, Not an Enemy

(13:00) Why Men Struggle to Connect with Their Bodies

(16:00) Curiosity vs. Control

(18:00) How We Learn to Disconnect from Ourselves

(22:00) “I Can’t Change This, But I Can Help You Not Feel It”

(25:00) A Live Somatic Exercise with Blake

(31:00) Finding Safety and Sturdiness in the Body

(35:00) The Importance of Agency and Choice in Healing

(38:00) Watching Healing in Real Time

(40:00) Why We Consume Information to Fix Ourselves

(42:00) There’s Nothing Wrong With You—Your Body Is Doing Its Job

(44:00) Lexy’s Work: Community, Courses, and “Held”

(46:00) Closing Reflections

Resources

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

• Gabor Maté – drgabormate.com
  

Keywords

Lexy Florentina, somatic experiencing, trauma healing, nervous system, emotional regulation, embodiment, holistic masculinity, men’s mental health, trauma response, curiosity, shame, body awareness, mindfulness, self-compassion, somatic therapy, healing, co-regulation, connection, faith, vulnerability, emotional safety, Three Percent podcast

In this heartfelt and practical conversation, Blake and Jamie dive deep into attachment science — exploring how our earliest relationships shape the way we connect, protect, and seek safety today. Drawing from both research and their own friendship, they unpack the four attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized — and describe them through vivid metaphors: the pasture, jungle, desert, and war zone.

They share personal stories of conflict and repair, offering a hopeful look at how awareness and compassion can help us move toward emotional safety. This episode is a guide to understanding your relational patterns and choosing connection over protection.

Takeaways

• Your attachment style isn’t a flaw — it’s an adaptive strategy that once kept you safe.

• Awareness is the first step, but healing happens in relationship.

• Secure attachment (“the pasture”) is built through safety, consistency, and repair.

• Avoidance, anxiety, and chaos are often just unhealed attempts to find connection.

• The goal isn’t perfection; it’s movement toward honesty, empathy, and safety.
  

Resources

• Embodied Faith by Jeff & Cyd Holsclaw – https://www.embodiedfaith.life/

• Dr. Curt Thompson – Author and speaker on attachment & spiritual formation https://curtthompsonmd.com/attachment-theory-i/

• Related Episodes:

• A Practical Guide to Engaging Your Emotions

• Suicide Prevention Month

• Emotions for Dummies (Like Us)

Learn more about Three Percent:

www.threepercentco.com

Instagram – @threepercent.co

Chapters

(00:00) Welcome & Why We’re Talking About Attachment

(04:15) What Is Attachment Science?

(09:40) How Our Childhood Shapes Our Style of Connection

(14:30) The War Zone – Disorganized/Ambivalent Attachment

(18:50) The Jungle – Anxious Attachment

(23:10 )The Desert – Avoidant Attachment

(28:00) The Pasture – Secure Attachment

(31:45) Blake’s Story: Growing Up Without Emotional Safety

(36:20) Jamie’s Story: Learning to Stay Present in Conflict

(40:30) How Attachment Shows Up in Our Friendship

(44:10) The Role of Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

(48:00) Moving Toward the Pasture: Repair and Connection

(53:00) How Faith and Attachment Intersect

(57:00) Final Reflections & Encouragement for the Week

Keywords

attachment, attachment theory, secure attachment, avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, disorganized attachment, emotional safety, friendship, faith, therapy, trauma healing, co-regulation, nervous system, parenting, relationships, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, Three Percent, mental health, emotional literacy, self-awareness, connection, neuroscience, grace, growth

What actually makes a man feel safe to others?

In this conversation, Amy Alexander—therapist, co-founder of The Refuge Center, and someone who has spent decades working with survivors of trauma and abuse—offers a perspective most men rarely hear. Not from theory, but from real stories of women navigating fear, harm, and healing.

Together, they explore the dynamics of power and control that often go unnoticed, and how even subtle patterns—people-pleasing, image management, avoidance, or lack of self-awareness—can erode safety in relationships over time.

But this isn’t about shame or blame. It’s an invitation. A chance for men to listen, learn, and grow—not from defensiveness, but from humility. Amy names three powerful markers of a safe man: transparency, accountability, and a willingness to sacrifice time and energy for the good of others.

If you’ve ever wondered what healthy masculinity actually looks like in practice—or how to become someone others feel safe with—this conversation offers clarity, honesty, and a path forward.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Why safety isn’t defined by intention—but by how others experience you
• How subtle power dynamics can exist even without obvious abuse
• Why transparency builds trust faster than perfection ever could
• The difference between accountability and shame-dumping
• How unresolved patterns can quietly shape your relationships
• Why sacrificing time and energy is essential to becoming a safe partner

CHAPTERS

(00:00) The story behind The Refuge Center

(04:00) Making therapy affordable, excellent, and accessible

(08:00) A vision shaped by real human need

(12:00) Working with survivors of domestic violence

(16:00) Understanding power and control dynamics

(20:00) How identity slowly erodes in unsafe relationships

(23:00) The cycle of abuse explained

(26:00) Why people stay—and why it’s more complex than you think

(29:00) What healthy masculinity actually requires

(31:00) Why transparency creates safety

(36:00) The role of accountability (and what it’s not)

(42:00) How shame-dumping damages relationships

(45:00) Becoming the man your younger self needed

(47:00) Why sacrifice matters more than you think

(51:00) Practical examples of showing up in everyday life

(56:00) How to support The Refuge Center

LINKS & RESOURCES

- The Refuge Center: https://refugecenter.org/

- Amy Alexander Bio: https://refugecenter.org/staff/amy-alexander/

- Support The Refuge Center (Faith Builders): https://refugecenter.org/

- Power and Control Wheel: https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/

- Join The Basement (private Q&A + community): https://threepercentco.com/membership

KEYWORDS

Amy Alexander, Refuge Center, Three Percent Podcast, healthy masculinity, emotional safety, relationships, trauma and healing, domestic violence, power and control, accountability, vulnerability, men’s mental health, transparency, personal growth

In this week’s episode, we sit down with New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and podcast host Annie F. Downs—known by many as the “Queen of Fun.” Annie shares with us her journey of embracing both joy and pain, and how cultivating delight in everyday life can reconnect us to God, ourselves, and others. Together we explore the tension between being hopeful and bypassing pain, how to discern what parts of our story are private vs. public, and why fun is more than just entertainment—it’s a taste of eternity. Annie invites us to rediscover what our five-year-old selves loved, and how those simple joys can bring healing and hope today.

Links

• Annie F. Downs: anniefdowns.com

• That Sounds Fun Podcast: Listen here
• Book: That Sounds Fun https://amzn.to/42s5ObF

• Upcoming Tour Dates with CAIN: caintheband.com

• Reforesting Faith: What Trees Teach Us About the Nature of God and His Love for Us by Matthew Sleeth https://amzn.to/42seuPo

Takeaways

• Fun is not frivolous—it’s a spiritual practice that points us to eternity.

• Vulnerability requires discernment: knowing what belongs to your private life and what can be shared publicly.

• Hope can be both a practice and a feeling—sometimes we “put it on like a jacket” before we fully believe it.

• Settling into our humanness allows us to extend grace to ourselves and to others.

• Men especially need to reclaim fun and kindness toward themselves, not just others.
  

Chapters

(00:00) – Putting on Hope Like a Jacket

(02:00) – Meet Annie F. Downs: Author, Speaker, Podcaster

(05:00) – Onsite, Vulnerability, and Healing

(10:00) – Public, Personal, and Private Lives

(18:00) – The Tension Between Hope and Spiritual Bypassing

(25:00) – Settling Into Humanness and Grace

(29:00) – Why Fun Matters for Men

(35:00) – Listening to Your Five-Year-Old Self

(41:00) – Fun as a Taste of Eternity

(44:00) – Be Kind to Yourself

(46:00) – Annie’s Upcoming Tour and Projects

(48:00) – Pizza, Shirley Temples, and Madeleine L’Engle

Keywords

Annie F. Downs, That Sounds Fun, hope, fun, faith, vulnerability, Onsite, private vs. public life, therapy, humanness, grace, joy, eternity, childhood delight, masculinity, emotional health, three percent podcast

Through raw honesty, humor, and deep wisdom, Dr. John Delony joins us to talk about what real strength looks like. A bestselling author, mental health expert, and co-host of The Ramsey Show, John has spent years walking people through crisis, parenting, relationships, and the everyday chaos of life.

In this conversation, John shares his personal journey of growing up in the Church of Christ, discovering punk rock, wrestling with anger and grief, and learning what it means to truly be safe and present for his wife and kids. From stories about music and moshing to his vulnerable account of therapy, childhood trauma, and reconnecting with his daughter, John reminds us that the hardest and most courageous thing a man can do is sit across from someone and say, “I’m hurting.”

If you’ve ever wondered how to move from flexing your way through life to finding peace, love, and connection—you won’t want to miss this one.

 Links Mentioned

• The Dr. John Deloney Show: https://www.youtube.com/johndelony 

• Dr. John Delony on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johndelony/

• Books:

• Building a Non-Anxious Life: https://amzn.to/46SORts 

• Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness: https://amzn.to/4mDWlFB

 Takeaways

• Why real masculinity is found in honesty, vulnerability, and connection—not toughness.

• How unprocessed trauma shows up in family systems and relationships.

• The story of John’s daughter and how therapy helped transform their relationship.

• Why anger is often grief in disguise.

• The importance of men believing they are worth being loved.

Chapters

(00:00) – Introduction

(02:00) – From Punk Rock to Pantera to Faith

(10:00) – Why Safety Matters in Family Systems

(16:00) – Messages Men Have Been Told

(22:00) – Wrestling With Worthiness and Faith

(31:00) – The Nuclear Reactor in the Chest

(38:00) – Addiction, Numbing, and Finding Peace

(45:00) – Honoring Anger and Grief

(52:00) – Why All the Feelings Belong

(58:00) – Closing Thoughts

Keywords 

John Delony, Ramsey Show, mental health, therapy, masculinity, vulnerability, anger, grief, parenting, trauma healing, connection, worthiness, holistic masculinity, emotions, authenticity

What does it mean to live with a faith that feels real in the middle of life’s messiness? This week we sit down with pastor, father of five, and director of discipleship at Pillar Media, Chad Mondragon. Chad shares about his family story, his journey through church ministry into media, and the launch of The Jesus Table—a platform designed to meet people where they are with honest discipleship.

Together we talk about:

• Why the bravest thing men can do is take the risk of vulnerability

• How the epidemic of loneliness is shaping faith and masculinity today

• What real connection looks like at home, at church, and with friends

• The role of questions, doubts, and honesty in a faith that feels real

• Why family dinners, small groups, and even workouts can be places of healing
  

Chad reminds us that courage in manhood isn’t just scaling mountains—it’s opening up to safe people, risking vulnerability, and discovering that we’re more deeply loved than we fear.

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Chad’s work: thejesustable.com

• Follow The Jesus Table on Instagram

• Fathered by God by John Eldredge
  

Chapters

(00:00) – Introducing Chad Mondragon

(04:00) – Family, youth ministry, and the value of dinner table conversations

(13:00) – From planting churches to discipleship in media

(20:00) – The loneliness epidemic & men’s need for connection

(27:00) – Faith that feels real: questions, doubts, and vulnerability

(39:00) – Risking love through honesty

(54:00) – The Jesus Table project

Keywords:

Chad Mondragon, The Jesus Table, loneliness epidemic, faith that feels real, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, discipleship, family, John Eldredge, Fathered by God, men’s ministry, F3, connection, Pillar Media

In this episode, Blake and Jamie share a simple but powerful framework for engaging your emotions: Pause, Pray, Process, Express. Building on last week’s conversation about suicide prevention and the dangers of bottling up emotions, they offer a practical, grace-filled tool to help you slow down, connect with what you’re really feeling, and bring those needs into safe relationships. Through honest stories about marriage, parenting, and friendship, they show how emotional awareness isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress.Learn more about Three Percent:🌐 https://www.threepercentco.com📸 Instagram – @threepercentcoDownload the free Pause, Pray, Process, Express guide on our website.Takeaways

• Most men bottle up, blow up, or numb out instead of engaging emotions.
• Neural pathways (the “slip and slides”) can be retrained with new practices.
• Pause: Slow your nervous system and notice what you’re feeling in your body.
• Pray: Invite God into your emotions without bypassing them.
• Process: Journal, talk it out, or seek safe co-regulation.
• Express: Share your inner world in ways that build connection and, when needed, set boundaries.
• Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

Chapters(00:00) Why Engaging Emotions Matters(03:00) Bottling, Blowing Up, and Numbing Out(06:00) Stories from Parenting and Marriage(10:00) Why We Need to Create New Neural Pathways(14:00) Step 1: Pause – Slowing Your Nervous System(20:00) Step 2: Pray – Inviting God Without Bypassing(24:00) Step 3: Process – Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation(32:00) Step 4: Express – Sharing Your Inner World Safely(37:00) Movement, Boundaries, and Nonlinear Growth(40:00) Small Steps: Progress Over Perfection(43:00) How to Download the Free GuideKeywordsThree Percent, emotions, emotional health, men’s mental health, suicide prevention, emotional awareness, pause pray process, nervous system regulation, prayer, journaling, co-regulation, vulnerability, marriage, parenting, friendship, boundaries, holistic masculinity, therapy tools, emotional literacy, emotional connection, resilience, spiritual formation, healing practices

If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You are not alone.

In honor of Suicide Prevention Month, Blake and Jamie open a tender and courageous conversation about suicide, loneliness, and hope. Blake shares the story of his own suicide attempt as a 17-year-old—the pain, shame, and family struggles that led him there, and the long journey of healing that followed. Together, they discuss the epidemic of loneliness among men, the need for emotional language and safe connection, and the importance of creating spaces where honesty can be met with care instead of shame. This episode is a raw invitation to remember that every life has value and that healing begins with being known.

Learn more about Three Percent:

🌐 www.threepercentco.com

📸 Instagram – @threepercentco

Takeaways

• Suicide prevention starts long before a crisis—it begins with connection, empathy, and emotional language.

• Men die by suicide 3.5 times more often than women, often linked to isolation and loneliness.

• Behind anger, addiction, or performance often lies pain and fear that need to be named.

• Sharing your “3%” with safe people creates connection that can hold chaos.

• Compassion for your younger self is a vital part of healing.

• You are worth the effort it takes to reach out for help.
  

Chapters

(00:00) Why This Episode Matters – Suicide Prevention Month

(03:00) Blake’s Story: A 17-Year-Old Carrying Too Much

(08:00) Shame, Family Pressure, and Coping Through Numbing

(12:00) The Night of the Attempt

(18:00) What Loneliness Does to the Soul

(23:00) Hiding, Shame, and the Story Everyone Believed

(28:00) Why Suicide Prevention Starts at Birth

(32:00) The Epidemic of Loneliness in Men

(36:00) Connection Doesn’t Erase Pain—but Holds It

(40:00) A Letter to My 17-Year-Old Self

(46:00) Practical Next Steps & Resources for Listeners

Keywords

Three Percent, suicide prevention, suicide awareness month, Blake Roberts, depression, shame, loneliness, healing, mental health, men’s mental health, holistic masculinity, trauma, addiction, recovery, vulnerability, faith and mental health, emotional literacy, crisis resources, therapy, compassion, identity, being known, resilience, self-compassion, healing journey

In this special 6-month anniversary episode, Blake and Jamie reflect on the journey so far with Three Percent—the stories, conversations, and friendships that have shaped this space. From the very first interviews to the deep themes of masculinity, emotions, vulnerability, and faith, they revisit what they’ve learned along the way and what has surprised them most. They also share their hopes for the next season of the podcast and the growing Three Percent community. This is a moment to pause, look back with gratitude, and look forward with expectation.

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐 www.threepercentco.com 📸 Instagram – @threepercentco

Giveaway

Send us your story for a chance to have a 30-45 minute coaching session with Blake and Jamie.

How to enter: Send 2-3 sentences on something you are working through to hello@threepercentco.com

Takeaways

• How to enter: Send 2-3 sentences on something you are working through to hello@threepercentco.com 

• Six months of conversations have affirmed the hunger for honest, vulnerable dialogue about masculinity and faith.

• Guests have given language for emotions and experiences many men didn’t know how to name.

• Friendship and safe community are central to the healing journey.

• Healing is not a quick fix—it’s a long, relational process.

• Vulnerability always invites deeper connection.

• Gratitude and hope mark the past and the future of Three Percent.

Chapters

00:00 Celebrating Six Months of Three Percent

02:30 How the Podcast Began

06:00 Favorite Moments from the First Six Months

11:00 What We’ve Learned from Our Guests

15:00 Why Friendship Is Central to Healing

20:00 Surprises Along the Way

24:00 The Tension of Vulnerability and Masculinity

29:00 Looking Ahead: Hopes for the Next Six Months

34:00 Gratitude for the Community

38:00 Closing Thoughts

Keywords

Three Percent, podcast anniversary, masculinity, emotions, faith, vulnerability, friendship, healing, reflection, community, growth, gratitude, holistic masculinity, men’s mental health, personal growth, emotional health, spiritual formation, podcast journey, storytelling, healing through connection

In this soulful and deeply human conversation, author, speaker, and coach Justin McRoberts joins us to explore the sacred tension between calling and rest, ambition and surrender. With humor, honesty, and theological insight, Justin shares the spiritual and emotional journey behind his book In the Low. We discuss fatherhood, friendship, control, and what it means to hold both grief and joy with open hands. If you’ve ever wrestled with doing enough or being enough, this episode is an invitation back to groundedness, belovedness, and the long road of faithful presence.

Check out more of Justin McRoberts:

🌐 Website – www.justinmcroberts.com

📸 Instagram – @justinmcroberts

📚 Book – In The Low

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐 www.threepercentco.com

Takeaways

• Your “calling” doesn’t have to be heavy—it can be playful and sacred.

• Ambition without rest leads to burnout and bitterness.

• Slowing down often feels like failure in a productivity-obsessed world.

• God’s invitation is not just to work for Him, but to be with Him.

• Real rest means learning to release control.

• Friendships that hold both celebration and grief are vital to resilience.

• There is no sacred calling without sacred rest.
  

Chapters

00:00 Welcome & Meet Justin McRoberts

03:30 What Is In The Low All About?

06:00 Ambition, Surrender, and the Space Between

10:20 Calling as a Form of Relationship

13:40 Relearning the Pace of Love and Grace

16:00 Burnout, Shame, and Being "Too Much"

19:30 Parenting, Grief, and the Myth of Control

24:00 What He Learned From Deep Friendships

28:00 Masculinity and the Pressure to Perform

31:00 God’s Invitation to Rest and Trust

35:00 Questions That Help You Stay Human

39:00 Where to Find Justin Online

Keywords

Justin McRoberts, Three Percent, Sacred Strides, calling, rest, surrender, ambition, masculinity, Christian leadership, burnout, spiritual formation, work-life balance, grief, friendship, control, parenting, vulnerability, emotional health, faith and productivity, theological reflection, presence, fatherhood, resilience, healing, belovedness, performance pressure, letting go

Why does anger feel like the only emotion you can access?

In part two of the AI & Mental Health series, the guys take on one of the most common questions men are asking right now: “Why am I always angry?” It’s a question that often carries shame—but what if anger isn’t the problem?

Drawing from their work as therapists (and their own stories), they explore how anger often becomes the default emotion—not because it’s the only thing you feel, but because it’s the safest one to express. Underneath it is usually something more vulnerable: sadness, fear, shame, or even unmet needs that have gone unnoticed for years.

This conversation reframes anger as a signal, not a failure. It’s an invitation to slow down, get curious, and begin connecting with what’s really happening beneath the surface—so you can move from reaction to awareness, and ultimately, to real change.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in frustration, quick to react, or disconnected from your emotions, this episode will help you understand why—and what to do next.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Why anger often masks more vulnerable emotions like sadness or fear
• How anger creates the illusion of control when you feel powerless
• Why many men only learned how to express one emotion—and it’s anger
• How unprocessed emotions build up and eventually come out sideways
• Why your anger is a signal pointing to something deeper—not a personal failure
• A practical framework to move from reaction to awareness (pause, pray, process, express)

CHAPTERS

(00:00) Why Jamie first went to therapy: numb or angry(02:00) The AI & Mental Health series explained(04:30) The #1 question: “Why am I always angry?”(08:00) Anger as the illusion of control(10:30) What anger is actually protecting(12:30) When anger is your only emotional outlet(14:00) Why more men are asking mental health questions(16:00) Anger as a signal, not a problem(18:00) A real-life example of anger masking sadness(21:00) The “anger iceberg” explained(23:00) Why compassion changes everything(25:00) The impact of culture, media, and overwhelm(27:00) Why control isn’t the goal—connection is(29:00) Practicing self-compassion in real time(31:00) Final thoughts + invitation to The Basement

LINKS & RESOURCES

• Join The Basement (private Q&A + community): https://threepercentco.com/membership
• Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/
• AI & Mental Health Pt. 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6INc2GgY9IR52t6I38OzbI?si=7bbd8ce1455d4c19

KEYWORDS

Three Percent Podcast, AI and mental health, anger, men’s mental health, emotional awareness, vulnerability, shame, emotional regulation, relationships, masculinity, trauma and healing, self-compassion, anxiety, personal growth

Why does friendship feel easier when you’re young—and harder when you need it most?

In this crossover episode with Dadville, the guys from Three Percent sit down with Dave Barnes and Jon McLaughlin for an honest conversation about friendship, fatherhood, and the quiet loneliness many men carry. From the outside, it can look like life is full—marriage, kids, work—but underneath, something is missing.

Together, they explore why relationships often drift in adulthood, how marriage and parenting subtly reshape your friendships, and why most men aren’t lacking relationships—they’re lacking depth.

This episode is both lighthearted and deeply reflective. It’s about the courage to go beyond surface-level conversations, the intentionality required to build meaningful friendships, and the small but powerful step of sharing your “3%”—the part of your story you usually keep hidden.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected, even in a full life, this conversation will help you name it—and take a step toward something deeper.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Why most adult loneliness isn’t about quantity of friends—but depth of connection
• How marriage and kids naturally shift and strain friendships over time
• Why vulnerability is the fastest path to meaningful connection
• The hidden cost of staying at surface-level conversations
• How intentionality replaces proximity in adult friendships
• Why sharing your “3%” creates permission for others to do the same

CHAPTERS

(00:00) Introducing the crossover: Three Percent x Dadville(03:00) The origin of Dadville and longtime friendship(08:00) The story behind the “3%” concept(14:00) Why we hold back the most important parts of ourselves(18:00) Friendship in your 30s and 40s: what changes(21:00) Why proximity disappears—and intentionality must replace it(25:00) The loneliness most men don’t talk about(28:00) Why friendships don’t just “happen” anymore(31:00) Are women actually better at friendship?(33:00) How marriage and kids reshape your relationships(40:00) What it takes to build meaningful friendships as a dad(43:00) A real story of vulnerability changing everything(47:00) Why sharing your struggles brings connection, not rejection(52:00) Modeling vulnerability as a parent(56:00) The long-term impact of repair and honesty

LINKS & RESOURCES

• Dadville Podcast: https://thatsoundsfunnetwork.com/podcasts/dadville/
• Join The Basement ⁠https://threepercentco.com/membership⁠⁠
• Three Percent Website – ⁠⁠https://threepercentco.com/⁠⁠
• Follow Three Percent on IG: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/⁠⁠

KEYWORDS

Three Percent Podcast, Dadville, Dave Barnes, Jon McLaughlin, male friendship, fatherhood, loneliness, vulnerability, relationships, emotional health, masculinity, connection, parenting, community, personal growth

What if the way you respond to your kids has less to do with them—and more to do with what’s unresolved in you?

In this conversation, Eli Harwood (aka “Attachment Nerd”) helps us see how our childhood experiences quietly shape the way we parent, relate, and react. From parentification and emotional neglect to people-pleasing and control, she unpacks how the patterns we learned early on don’t just disappear—they show up in our homes today.

But this isn’t about becoming a perfect parent. It’s about becoming an aware one. Eli shares a hopeful vision of what it looks like to acknowledge your story, take responsibility for your growth, and create relationships where your kids feel safe, seen, and supported—even when you get it wrong.

If you’re a parent, want to be a parent, or are still working through your own story, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath your reactions—and how to start showing up differently.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Why your reactions as a parent often come from unresolved parts of your own story
• The difference between a “right-side up” and “upside-down” parent-child relationship
• How parentification shapes your ability to give and receive care
• Why secure parenting isn’t about perfection—but repair and consistency
• What your emotional triggers with your kids are trying to show you
• How doing your own work creates safety for your children

CHAPTERS

(00:00) Why no parent is perfect(02:00) Introducing Eli Harwood (“Attachment Nerd”)(04:00) Growing up in a family shaped by trauma(08:30) A mother who chose to break the cycle(12:00) Why attachment changes everything in therapy(16:00) What is a parentified child?(20:00) “I don’t emotionally rely—I emotionally supply”(24:00) Why receiving care is so hard(28:00) How attachment patterns show up in marriage(32:00) What your kids are really asking for(36:00) Why parenting triggers your own unresolved story(38:00) Inside Eli’s new book and how to use it(41:00) Why your kids will still have “stuff” (and that’s okay)(43:00) Where to find Eli + final thoughts

LINKS & RESOURCES

• Eli Harwood Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/

• Eli’s Book: How to Deal with Your ____ So Your Kids Don't Have to https://www.amazon.com/Deal-Your-____-Kids-Dont/dp/1632175967
• Follow Eli on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/?hl=en

• Join The Basement https://threepercentco.com/membership⁠
• Three Percent Website – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/⁠
• Follow Three Percent on IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/⁠

KEYWORDS

Eli Harwood, Attachment Nerd, Three Percent Podcast, attachment theory, parenting, emotional health, trauma and healing, parentification, relationships, masculinity, vulnerability, family systems, childhood wounds, secure attachment, personal growth

Join The Basement – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/membership⁠

Three Percent Website – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/

⁠Follow Three Percent on IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/⁠

Why do certain patterns in your life keep repeating—no matter how much you try to move forward?

In this conversation, Dan Allender and Rachel Clinton Chen invite us into the deeper work of understanding our stories. Not as something to “get over,” but as something that continues to shape how we relate to ourselves, God, and others. Through powerful personal examples and honest reflection, they explore how early experiences—especially moments of shame, neglect, or harm—form the internal narratives we still live by today.

This conversation moves beyond surface-level self-awareness into something more embodied. It’s about learning how to revisit your story with compassion, allowing old interpretations to be challenged, and discovering both the brokenness and beauty that have been formed in you. Along the way, they name the cost of avoiding your story—and the freedom that comes when you finally begin to engage it.

If you’ve ever wondered why certain reactions feel automatic, why vulnerability feels unsafe, or why you keep chasing validation that never quite satisfies—this episode offers a way forward. Not quick fixes, but a deeper invitation into healing, connection, and becoming who you were meant to be.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Why your past isn’t “over”—it’s still shaping how you live today

• How early shame and unmet needs form the patterns you repeat

• Why vulnerability feels unsafe (and where that story began)

• What it means to hold both your brokenness and your beauty

• How revisiting your story with others creates real change

• Why healing isn’t a one-time fix—but a lifelong process of attention and compassion

CHAPTERS

(00:00) Can you bear your beauty—and your brokenness

(01:00) Introducing Dan Allender and Rachel Clinton Chen

(05:30) Why this season is about story

(06:30) Why engaging your story actually matters

(09:30) How childhood shapes your capacity for vulnerability

(12:00) The story that still lives in your body

(14:30) Why story work is never “finished”

(18:30) What story work actually is (in simple terms)

(22:00) Attachment, interpretation, and survival

(30:00) Why men avoid their stories

(33:00) Brokenness, beauty, and the tension we avoid

(39:00) When strength becomes a coping mechanism

(41:00) A real-time example of story playing out

(48:30) Where do you start if this feels overwhelming?

(52:00) The cost—and gift—of doing this work

CONNECT WITH THE ALLENDER CENTER

• Website: https://theallendercenter.org/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allendercenter/

• Podcast: The Allender Center Podcast

KEYWORDS

Dan Allender, Rachel Clinton Chen, Three Percent Podcast, emotional health, men’s mental health, story work, trauma and healing, attachment, vulnerability, shame, masculinity, relationships, spiritual formation, inner critic, personal growth

Join The Basement – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/membership⁠Three Percent Website – ⁠https://threepercentco.com/⁠Follow Three Percent on IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/threepercent.co/⁠

What happens when the version of Jesus you believe in always agrees with you?

In this conversation, Jon Guerra shares the quiet but unsettling realization that his faith had become too comfortable—too aligned with his own preferences, frustrations, and perspectives. What followed wasn’t a crisis, but a slow return. A reintroduction to the real Jesus through the Gospels. One who comforts, but also confronts. One who invites, but also challenges.

Together, they explore what it means to rediscover Christ in the middle of ordinary life—parenting, marriage, stress, and even subtle pride. This conversation moves beyond surface-level faith into something deeper: surrender, attention, and the kind of honesty that leads to freedom.

If you’ve ever felt disillusioned with faith, unsure how to reconnect with God, or tired of a version of Christianity that feels flat or performative, this episode offers a different path—one that is slower, truer, and ultimately more alive.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Why a “comfortable” version of Jesus might be holding you back
• How subtle pride and self-justification can shape your faith
• What it looks like to encounter a Jesus who both comforts and challenges
• Why surrender isn’t losing your life—but finding it
• How everyday stress (kids, work, marriage) becomes the place of transformation

CHAPTERS

(00:00) What is the “3%”?(02:00) Introducing Jon Guerra and his music(05:30) The heart behind the Jesus album(07:00) When Jesus becomes a version of yourself(10:00) The challenge of the real Jesus (rich young ruler)(13:30) Faith in the middle of ordinary life stress(18:30) Where is God in parenting, pressure, and fatigue?(22:00) Surrender, the cross, and where life is actually found(30:30) What does it mean that “Christ is the treasure”?(40:00) Experiencing God in the places you avoid(45:30) Why vulnerability and relationship lead to healing(49:00) Gethsemane: grief, surrender, and light(53:00) Seeing clearly: attention, presence, and everyday faith(56:00) Where to find Jon + closing thoughts

LINKS & RESOURCES

• Jon Guerra Website: https://www.jonguerramusic.com/

• The Jesus Album: https://open.spotify.com/album/4jMmHLhkvQToncD10srcty?si=M8Ikc0TSQ_i-Mcw4qfHfGg

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamjonguerra

KEYWORDS

Jon Guerra, Three Percent Podcast, Christian music, emotional health, faith and doubt, masculinity, vulnerability, spiritual formation, inner life, surrender, trauma and healing, relationships, parenting stress, proximity to God, honest faith