Life is complicated.
And honestly? Most of us are just trying to understand it while we’re still living it.
Thoughts From My Thirties is my ongoing conversation with the in-between seasons — the ones where you’re not who you used to be, but you’re not fully who you’re becoming yet.
I’m your host, Kala Riggins. I think out loud. I feel deeply. And I care about what’s underneath the surface.
Each episode is part reflection, part confession, part real-time processing. The kind of conversations that don’t try to tie everything into a bow… but help you breathe, soften, and realize you’re not behind — you’re human.
Because in your thirties, you stop chasing perfect and start craving honest.
You stop performing clarity and start asking better questions.
And you realize that most of life isn’t about having it figured out — it’s about staying present while you’re becoming.
No pressure.
No pretending.
Just permission to be in process.
Welcome to Thoughts From My Thirties.
This is where we think. We feel. We grow — in real time.
@KalaRiggins
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I’m Kala — host, content creator, and storyteller.
I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop diluting, and start telling the truth about who they are and what they actually want.
Over here, it’s about returning to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and your calling… and having the courage to act on it.
You’re Not Getting What You Want Because You’re Not Being Honest About What You Want
Episode 37
Thursday, April 2, 2026 • Duration 39:50
This one is for the woman who keeps saying she wants more… but hasn’t been fully honest about what “more” actually is.
In this episode, we get into:
Why you might not have what you want because you’re not being honest about it
The difference between saying what you want vs. telling the truth about what you want
How I realized I was hiding my true identity behind more “understandable” titles
What successful creatives have in common and what it means to stay in your main character energy
Choosing what’s practical vs. choosing what’s actually meant for you
How being influenced can keep you stuck in the wrong lane
The truth about “realistic dreams” and why that concept might be a lie
Being honest in every area: career, relationships, friendships, and your relationship with God
What it looks like to talk to God like He’s your father and actually ask for what you want
Admitting you want new friends and why that doesn’t make you ungrateful
How conditioning — not fear — keeps us playing small
Why safe answers are blocking real outcomes
The difference between self-awareness and actual change
5 ways I’m learning to get honest about what I want and take action toward it
Everything I’m Not Changing About Myself This Year
Thursday, January 15, 2026 • Duration 38:29
Everything I’m Not Changing About Myself This Year.
If you’re the kind of millennial who did everything “right” — followed the rules, hit the milestones, played the game by the book — and you’re now looking around in your 30s like… wait a minute, this was a scam?
This episode is for you.This is your permission slip to stop “fixing” yourself into someone else… and start honoring who you already are.
In this episode, we get into:
Why “new year, new me” often turns into self-abandonment
The difference between evolution and erasing yourself* When you need a new perspective instead of a new identity
How adulthood quietly disconnects you from your core
The parts of you the world keeps trying to dim (voice, creativity, depth)
Why your mind and perspective are your most valuable assets
Letting go of performing spirituality & honoring how you connect with God
How conditioning, comparison, and conformity mute your authenticity
The identity check-ins I’m using to stop slipping into sameness
Why starting over isn’t always growth * How groupthink is making us boring (and why I’m choosing original thought instead)
Resources + Links
Download the worksheet: Everything I’m Not Changing About Myself This Year — A guided reflection for returning to the parts of you that don’t need fixing.
What Compatibility Really Means in a Relationship: Dating in Your 30s
Episode 32
Thursday, October 9, 2025 • Duration 01:00:10
What does it really mean to be compatible with someone?
I’ve been thinking a lot about this — and honestly, I think intellectual compatibility might be my biggest struggle. Not chemistry, not vibes, not attraction… but finding someone who can actually meet me where my mind is.
In this episode, I’m talking about:
-Why being “chosen” doesn’t make you more special — God already did that
-Why I can’t date someone who isn’t spiritually grounded
-The 5 layers of compatibility (and why intellect ranks high for me)
-The Baby Mama story — and the moment I realized we weren’t equally yoked
-Why visionary women struggle to “fit” into a man’s plan
I’m Kala — host, content creator, and storyteller.
I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop diluting, and start telling the truth about who they are and what they actually want.
Over here, it’s about returning to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and your calling… and having the courage to act on it.
04:40 — Petty flex: I’m prompt, and I’m proud
07:10 — Silence, nervous systems, and not needing constant stimulation
10:30 — Not married, not a homeowner, no kids… and not feeling less than
14:10 — Starting over without reverting back to the “mundane” plan
16:30 — Petty but important: hygiene routine + “you’ll never say I was stink”
19:20 — My relationship with God + the 33-year-old resurrection year
23:40 — Community break: Our Inner Thoughts (keep the convo going)
26:10 — Taste, “outside,” and not living life in isolation
29:30 — I’m a really good friend (and what safe friendship actually looks like)
33:10 — “No longer negotiating with my calling” + James 1:22
36:10 — Face card, skills, and thanking the 2016 YouTube girlies
38:40 — Saying the quiet part out loud: loneliness + still being that girl
44:00 — The duality: low days don’t cancel your identity
47:20 — Closing: brag on yourself + peace in the process of figuring it out
Download the episode companion resource:
I started a resource library for y’all. After each episode, I drop a Kala-coded companion guide so the conversation doesn’t end when the episode ends.
Our Inner Thoughts: A space to keep the conversation going with:
Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions)
Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming)
Question for you: What’s your go-to conversation starter when you’re tired of talking about work?
Let's stay connected!
About Me:
I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller.
I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves.
Over here, it’s about thoughts and conversations that help you return to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and what actually matters.
Socials: @KalaRiggins
My Website:
https://kalariggins.com/
Contact:
Kala@KalaRiggins.com
What’s one part of you you’re not changing this year — no matter what?
About Me: I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller.I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves.Over here, it’s about thoughts and conversations that help you return to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and what actually matters.
42:11 Storytime: The 1:30 AM “you up?” text (sir, please)
44:26 Listener prompt — which type of compatibility do you crave most?
🎧 Listen to Beneath The Seams wherever you stream podcasts
💬 Join the conversation in the comments — rank your top 3 types of compatibility
🖤 Subscribe for new episodes every week
Connect with me:
Website → https://beneaththeseams.com
Instagram + TikTok → @kalariggins
Email → Kala@KalaRiggins.com
Let's stay connected!
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I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller.
I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves.
Here, we talk about the messy middle of life and creativity — the doubt, the breakthroughs, the moments that make you want to quit, and the ones that keep you going. (all while looking GOODt!)
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Work With Me:
https://kalariggins.com/monetize-me
https://cal.com/kalariggins
My Website:
https://kalariggins.com/
Contact:
Kala@KalaRiggins.com
17:10 Healthy effort vs. toxic draining (use discernment)
18:36 The medium-maintenance baseline:
20:28 Presence IRL & putting the phone down
21:44 Reciprocity confession: “Do I have friends because I maintain them?”
23:12 Follow the nudge: when someone crosses your mind, call/text
24:35 The “365-day rule”: are we still friends if we haven’t spoken in a year?
29:05 Behavior checks: stop flaking; the cost of community is inconvenience
31:02 Emotional awareness & curiosity: be in your friends’ business (lovingly)
32:28 Personal commitment: leave the house more; invite community in
34:00 Open invite: are you isolated or thriving in friendship?
35:12 Reviews/help the show grow + share with a friend
36:05 Closing blessing — and see you next week
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Resources & Scriptures Mentioned
Genesis 2:18 — “It is not good that man should be alone.”
Proverbs 27:17 — “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
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Let's stay connected...
/ kalariggins
I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller.
I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves.
Here, we talk about the messy middle of life and creativity — the doubt, the breakthroughs, the moments that make you want to quit, and the ones that keep you going. (all while looking GOODt!)
14:46 Knowing yourself to be vulnerable; ministry beyond the pulpit
16:06 The “exposure” thing: playing it too safe online vs. how I am in real life
17:24 The viral video & the sneaky fear of being misunderstood
18:52 Prayer insight: “Conflict is part of the calling.” Making peace with visibility
20:31 My pre-record prayer & releasing control of how the message lands
21:28 Root-cause overthinking: why I analyze before I act (and when that helps)
22:30 Unlearning the expected success arc; “unusual testimony” over the “great lock-in”
24:18 Start–stop stories matter: success for those who struggled to stay consistent
25:42 Closing the “misunderstood” loop & choosing impact over approval
26:48 Do we ever fully “overcome” overthinking? Choosing better tools, not self-shame
28:22 Faith lens: weapons may form; faith changes how I weather them
29:20 Refusal to quit + permission to tell the truth about the challenge
30:26 Community check-in: tell me what you’re overthinking
31:02 Promise to grow in consistency
31:48 Final blessing: finding peace in the process → see you next time
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Today's Look (Outfit Linked Here)
Resources & scriptures
2 Corinthians 12:9 — “My grace is sufficient for you…”
Matthew 5:37 — integrity in your yes (mentioned thematically)
Join the conversation!
Tell me what you’re overthinking this week — drop it in the comments or DM.
If this episode gave you breath, share it with a friend who’s been stuck in start–stop.
If you love the pod, a quick rating/review really helps us grow.
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Let's stay connected...
/ kalariggins
I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller.
I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves.
Here, we talk about the messy middle of life and creativity — the doubt, the breakthroughs, the moments that make you want to quit, and the ones that keep you going. ( all while looking GOODt!)
