Things Musicians Don't Talk About – Details, episodes & analysis

Reflecting on recent trips back to our former music schools and colleges, we chat about the complex emotions that arise when revisiting places of past trauma. We discuss the challenges of addressing mental health in educational settings, wondering if our message is relevant to current students, and the lasting impact of architecture and locations on our wellbeing. We also explore the nuances of loneliness, and share our personal journeys of making peace with specific London locations.

Link to the book recommended by Becca: https://www.olivialaing.com/lonely-city

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

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Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

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Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When cellist Ruth Philips was 29 and studying in America, she left her room as she wanted it to be found after her death. So certain was she that the performance approaching her would be the end of her life.

Now, Ruth is sought after for her whole, integrative approach as a cello teacher, mindfulness practitioner and performance coach. She speaks to us about her journey towards discovering mindfulness, reframing the word 'practice' and encouraging others to consider the violent language we frequently use as musicians and music teachers. We explore how kindness and self-love can be a difficult choice if a rigid practice routine has provided comfort, and consider how we can take steps towards a more whole perspective of practice within the music sector.

Discover Ruth Philips here

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

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Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

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Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Hattie Butterworth

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Composer Gavin Higgins found that music was the only thing calmed his severe facial tics as a young kid. After an assessment at the Maudsley Hospital, Gavin was diagnosed with Tourettes and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He was put on Prozac and told to snap a rubber band on his wrist to take away his intrusive thoughts.

A lot has changed in the treatment of mental illnesses, but what's the reality behind living with two severe conditions as an award-winning composer? And why is Gavin so determined to raise awareness? Hattie and Gavin chat in this episode about OCD, Tourettes, generational OCD themes, trauma from writing an opera, the industry as it stands and how things need to change.

Find Gavin's website here

And his Instagram

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

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Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Hattie Butterworth

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's our first sneaky peaky Patreon preview! Welcome through this little creaky door in the paywall to hear 5 minutes of exclusive content that we recorded last Halloween!

In this episode, Hattie, Katy and Becca scare the living daylights outta themselves by reading feedback ranging from grade 8 to graduate scheme rejections. We also have a little rant about assessing music as a subjective art form, and Hattie shares a story with us that we had to bleep out because it was too gross. 

If you fancy accessing the *whole* episode and much more, head to https://www.patreon.com/tmdta!

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

The Royal Society of Musicians is Britain’s oldest music charity and our aims remain as relevant today as they were in the earliest years – to provide vital financial assistance, advice and guidance to those professionally active in the world of music but who are unable to work due to accident, illness, stress or anxiety. Being a charity run by musicians for musicians, we are uniquely placed to fully understand the challenges faced within the profession.

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

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Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow us on all the socials: @tmdtapodcast

Editor: Katy Ehrlich & Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is dedicated to Koshka’s wonderful piano teacher, Niel Immelman, who sadly passed away since it was recorded - and who made it all possible.

TW// sexual violence and assault, physical assault, police brutality

Becca first came across today's guest when she stumbled upon her collection of essays, Abolishing the Police. Philosophy professor, Koshka Duff (University of Nottingham), was largely inspired to compile this collection of essays on policing, dissent and abolition after her own traumatic experiences with the police. In 2013, when studying a Masters in piano performance at the Royal College of Music, Koshka was arrested after offering legal advice to a teenager undergoing a racist stop and search. She describes how the police assaulted her and left her with physical and psychological damage that continued to impact her life long after the event: she suspended her studies and had to confront the devastating possibility that she may never play the piano again. Koshka was able to return for her final recital a year after the event, and set out on a mission to heal by 'making and making up music' with her band, Stolen Goods, and via a pain management course through the NHS. The injuries left her with chronic pain that she still deals with, though more now as a "companion, rather than always an antagonist."

Koshka's album featuring several tracks recorded at her final recital

CD liner notes

The Stolen Goods EP

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

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Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Kaileigh Eaton

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For TMDTA's July Voices Radio appearance, Hattie and Becca discuss Lewis Capaldi's Glastonbury set and how this might translate in the classical music world. They also chat about their experiences of saying no as employees and as freelancers, Hattie's new adventures on bass guitar and Becca's new therapist. In the original show, the first half of Paul Denegri's episode played after their discussion, but now you can go and listen to the whole thing wherever you're listening to this episode.

Thank you as ever to Voices Radio for this platform, and thank you to you listeners for your ongoing support!

The guardian article Becca loved: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jun/26/lewis-capaldis-glastonbury-set-disability-centre-stage

Click here for the transcript

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

The Royal Society of Musicians is Britain’s oldest music charity and our aims remain as relevant today as they were in the earliest years – to provide vital financial assistance, advice and guidance to those professionally active in the world of music but who are unable to work due to accident, illness, stress or anxiety. Being a charity run by musicians for musicians, we are uniquely placed to fully understand the challenges faced within the profession.

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Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow us on all the socials: @tmdtapodcast

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our amazing friend, trumpeter Aaron Akugbo, is about to make his BBC Proms debut with the Chineke! Orchestra - but there's more to his story. Determined to be unapologetic about his identity, Aaron takes us through the weird world of brass 'lad' culture, through to the rise of Black Lives Matter and navigating the brass world as someone facing direct and indirect discrimination for being both black and gay.

Discover Aaron on Instagram

His website is here

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now generously supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

The Royal Society of Musicians is Britain’s oldest music charity and our aims remain as relevant today as they were in the earliest years – to provide vital financial assistance, advice and guidance to those professionally active in the world of music but who are unable to work due to accident, illness, stress or anxiety. Being a charity run by musicians for musicians, we are uniquely placed to fully understand the challenges faced within the profession.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow us on all the socials: @tmdtapodcast

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Katy Ehrich

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Becca catches up with her former teacher, Paul Denegri, from his stay in an old farmhouse. The humblest of the humble, Paul takes us through his journey to where he is now: revisiting his unexpected appointment as Head of Brass at Wells Cathedral School; his feelings of imposter syndrome and disillusionment with the freelance musician lifestyle; and staying true to his identity. Paul's trademark openness and warmth is so refreshing in the world of classical music and music education, where prestige and resilience is so often touted as the pinnacle of success.

Thank you Paul for being the reason a lot of us from Wells fostered our passion for music and have ended up where we are now.

Paul's website: paul denegri

Paul on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pauldenegripandonltd/

Paul's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pauldenegri/

Click here for transcript

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now generously supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

The Royal Society of Musicians is Britain’s oldest music charity and our aims remain as relevant today as they were in the earliest years – to provide vital financial assistance, advice and guidance to those professionally active in the world of music but who are unable to work due to accident, illness, stress or anxiety. Being a charity run by musicians for musicians, we are uniquely placed to fully understand the challenges faced within the profession.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow us on all the socials: @tmdtapodcast

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now generously supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

The Royal Society of Musicians is Britain’s oldest music charity and our aims remain as relevant today as they were in the earliest years – to provide vital financial assistance, advice and guidance to those professionally active in the world of music but who are unable to work due to accident, illness, stress or anxiety. Being a charity run by musicians for musicians, we are uniquely placed to fully understand the challenges faced within the profession.

Episode notes:

(Episode recorded for our June Voices Radio show)

Before we get to Stu's post-nap's epiphanies, Becca monologues on a recent Instagram Q&A and delves into 'soul-care', doing laptop stuff, missing my eating disorder and practising for a recital. Then we head to the garden to chat with Stu about all things musician. We discuss:

• getting back up after auditions
• spinning the different freelancer plates
• the hardest & easiest things about being a musician
• being in a 'musician couple'
• what music & podcasts been listening to

Click here for transcript

If you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this episode, head to our Resources page for further signposting and support.

Support us

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow us on all the socials: @tmdtapodcast

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tw: Mentions of suicide and it’s prevention

In a society opening up conversations around mental health, suicide is still severely stigmatised and misunderstood. Today we meet pianist Gosia Garska who volunteers at the Listening Place - a charity set up to hold space for people struggling with suicidal thoughts and ideation.

We discuss common myths around suicide, as well as how the Listening Place supports those with ongoing struggles. We also hear from Gosia about how work at the Listening Place has changed her life, both as a musician and personally and entering a space of non-judgement when listening to those dealing with thoughts of ending their life.

Thank you Gosia for sharing your experience with us 🙏

Discover The Listening Place

If you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this episode, head to our Resources page for further signposting and support.

Support us

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow us on all the socials: @tmdtapodcast

Editor: @kaileigheato

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.