Why does my boss ignore my ideas? Usually he isn't ignoring them, he just never heard them the way you meant them. In one workplace study, 81% of leaders said their people have an easy way to give feedback, while only 44% of employees said they actually have a voice. Your boss almost certainly thinks his door is open.
And you're on your fourth attempt to get somebody to care about a staffing problem. That gap isn't about caring. It's about transmission, and it belongs to you.
In this episode, Colby Morris shares the reporting process he pitched four times and got nowhere with, the forty seconds that finally fixed it, and the Reframe Before the Ask: four moves that get you heard by a boss who is busy, distracted, and convinced he's already listening.
"You've been walking into that office thinking one thing is getting judged in there. Your idea. Two things are getting judged. Your idea, and you." Colby Morris, The Things Leaders Do
More on Getting Your Boss to Listen
What is the Reframe Before the Ask?
The Reframe Before the Ask is a framework from Colby Morris for getting heard by a boss who isn't listening. The idea is that most of us spend our energy sharpening the argument, when the thing that decides the outcome is how the idea arrives before you ever make the ask. It comes down to four moves. Colby walks through all four in the episode.
Why does my boss ignore my ideas?
Usually because of what you handed him, not because he doesn't care. There's a difference between bringing your boss a problem and bringing him something he can actually say yes to, and most of us have never noticed which one we're doing. Colby tells the story of getting this wrong for eight months straight.
Does speaking up at work hurt your career?
Research by Ethan Burris at the University of Texas found something uncomfortable. When employees challenged how things were being done, their managers didn't just back the idea less. They also rated those employees as worse at their jobs. Two things drove it, and neither one was the quality of the idea. Colby breaks down what those two things were, and why they're actually good news.
How do I get my boss to take my concerns seriously?
Say it in his language instead of yours. "My team is burned out" is true, and it lands as a feelings report. The same truth, translated into what your boss is measured on, becomes something he can carry into his own leadership meeting. The episode covers how to find your boss's scoreboard, including a four-minute exercise you can run this week.
What is powerless communication?
Powerless communication is Adam Grant's term, from his book Give and Take, for the finding that people who ask questions, admit what they don't know, and speak tentatively are often the most persuasive people in the room. When people think you're trying to talk them into something, they put their guard up. Grant is also clear that this only works under one condition, and the episode covers that condition along with the way this move gets misused.
What if my boss still won't listen?
Run it more than once. One good conversation doesn't undo two years of a pattern. But after three real attempts, silence is an answer, and the question changes from how do I get through to him into something else entirely. Colby covers what to do with that answer, including the version where the problem really is your boss.
Research and Sources
- Ethan Burris, University of Texas at Austin, "The Risks and Rewards of Speaking Up," Academy of Management Journal. Managers rated employees who spoke up in challenging ways as lower performers and backed their ideas less, driven by perceived threat and perceived loyalty.
- Adam Grant, Give and Take, on powerless communication and advice seeking as a form of influence.
- Workplace communication research on the leader and employee perception gap: 81% of leaders say employees have an easy way to give feedback, while 44% of employees say they have a voice.
Related Episodes
- How to Disagree With Your Boss (Without Getting Fired)
- Stop Going to Your Boss About Your Coworker
- Lead with Clarity: 3 Steps to Better Team Communication
- Effective Communication for Leaders
About Colby Morris
Colby Morris is the Founder of NXT Step Advisors, where he helps leaders and organizations build cultures that put people first through keynote speaking, executive coaching, and leadership training.
Connect
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/colbymorris
Web: NXTStepAdvisors.com
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