Explore every episode of the podcast They Mess You Up with Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan

Narcissism is a term we throw around a lot, but what actually makes someone a narcissist? Ciara and Richard look at narcissistic personality disorder, how it plays out in families and relationships, and the red flags to watch for.

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. 

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Is regret useful, or does it just keep us stuck in the past? Ciara and Richard explore the choices, missed opportunities and “what ifs” that can haunt us, and whether sometimes the biggest regret is the thing we didn't do.

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. 

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!

Messy Bits... The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages.

Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

CAO results day can feel like the future has been decided by a single set of points for students and parents alike. But what happens when you don’t get the course you wanted? Ciara and Richard talk about disappointment, alternative routes and the very non-linear paths that can lead to a career and a life you never originally planned.

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. 

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Why do we romanticise the person we didn't end up with? Ciara and Richard explore the “one that got away”, why our memories can make the past look better than it was, and whether we’re missing the person or the life we imagined with them.

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. 

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

More adult children are living at home for longer, but how do you live with your kids when they're no longer kids? Ciara and Richard discuss rent, rules, partners staying over, boundaries and how to make it work without driving each other mad.

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. 

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Messy Bits: The weekly bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram message @TheyMessYouUpPod

Are we becoming less resilient or just more open about our struggles? Ciara and Richard discuss discomfort, resilience, parenting, and whether protecting ourselves from life's challenges is doing more harm than good.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!

Messy Bits: The weekly bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram message @TheyMessYouUpPod

Is monogamy still realistic or are we expecting too much from one person? Ciara and Richard discuss open relationships, affairs, lifelong commitment, and whether monogamy still has a place in modern life.

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Choosing not to drink in Ireland can be harder than it sounds. Ciara and Richard discuss sober curiosity, social pressure, and why saying "no thanks" can make other people surprisingly uncomfortable.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Long-term love changes but does that mean attraction has to? Ciara and Richard discuss intimacy, resentment, communication, and why laughter might be one of the most overlooked parts of a healthy relationship.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Debt, rising bills, unequal incomes... Money has a way of creeping into every part of life.
Ciara and Richard discuss financial stress, the arguments it causes, and why fairness matters more than splitting everything 50/50.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Not everyone wants a relationship but society still treats being single like something that needs fixing. Ciara and Richard discuss the pressure to find "the one," choosing to stay single, and whether a relationship is really the measure of a successful life.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors.

New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode “Messy Bits” on Mondays!

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Feeling exhausted, cynical, irritable, or like you're barely keeping your head above water? It could be more than stress.

Ciara and Richard discuss burnout, how it develops, and what we can do before it takes over.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday and a Bonus Episode on Mondays!

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Hi everyone - just dropping in between episodes here with a recommendation to help address a massive psychological issue that can actively wrecking your mental health: your terrible sleep hygiene.

Lying awake at 3:00 AM overanalysing your life fuels anxiety, drives stress, and destabilises your mood. If you find it difficult nodding off, or just want to relax and actively down-regulate your nervous system, you need to check out GoLoud’s latest original stream GoLoud Sleep Sounds.

This is a pragmatically designed tool featuring a calming collection of immersive, 10-hour soundscapes. Each episode has been carefully tailored for anyone looking for a calmer, healthier bedtime routine. The long-form, entirely uninterrupted audio is designed specifically to create a soothing environment that can be played through the night or used as a cognitive buffer zone during moments of rest and relaxation. There is absolutely no talking, no stories to stimulate your brain, and zero commercial ads to wake you up. Instead, it utilizes the ambient sounds of some of Ireland's most scenic spots to anchor your mind—transporting you to Curracloe Beach in spring, Howth Harbour at sunset, the Midlands on a stormy night, the Wicklow Mountains in winter, or Dublin after dark. This acoustic continuity allows your brain to shift out of high-alert survival mode and transition into deep, restorative sleep.

Do something smart for your health tonight.

Go to the GoLoud app or wherever you listen to your podcasts, find GoLoud Sleep Sounds, press play, put the phone down, and let it do the rest.

Have a listen here:

https://open.spotify.com/show/033wsfw3b3SrnBby4xyZhf?si=5307919513424ff3

From dyslexia and aging to sexuality and trauma, shame can leave people carrying burdens that were never theirs to begin with. Ciara and Richard discuss where shame comes from, how it takes hold, and what it takes to let it go.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

And now a Bonus Episode 'Messy Bits' on Mondays!

Would you check your partner's phone? Does messaging someone else count as cheating? Ciara and Richard dive into the results of a listener survey on trust, infidelity, dating apps, and modern relationships.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

Friendship breakups can feel just as painful as romantic ones but we rarely talk about them.
Ciara and Richard discuss rejection, awkwardness, shared friend groups, and why losing a friend can hit harder than people expect.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

Why do some people hide their sexuality for decades? Ciara and Richard unpack shame, fear, homophobia, and the emotional cost of living a life that doesn’t fully feel like your own.

After Tommy Fleming’s interview with Ciara on Newstalk, where he discussed his sexuality and decision to come out at 55, they explore identity, secrecy, family expectations, and why it’s never too late to be honest about who you are.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

Ciara and Richard discuss “FAFO or F*ck Around and Find Out parenting,” how letting kids make mistakes might be better than stepping in to fix everything.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

Trying to merge two families can create tension, resentment, and pressure for both parents and children. In this episode, Ciara and Richard unpack the emotional reality of blended families and why forcing closeness too quickly can backfire.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

Is it too late to change your career? Or are you just afraid to try? In this episode career shifts, fear of failure, and the pressure to stay where you are. Ciara and Richard share their own career changes and how to make realistic moves towards work that feels fulfilling.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

After ending a long-term relationship in a moment of grief and low mood, a listener is left questioning everything when her ex moves on quickly.

Ciara and Richard unpack whether it’s betrayal or consequence and what it takes to rebuild a relationship once it’s been broken.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

It’s often children who carry the emotional fallout when parents separate, especially when conflict, name-calling, and resentment take over.
Ciara and Richard unpack the co-parenting behaviours that do real damage, and how to protect children from being caught in the middle.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

Why do siblings trigger us more than anyone else? Relationships can be shaped by comparison, labels, and family roles that follow us into adulthood.

In this episode, Ciara and Richard Hogan unpack sibling rivalry, “family boxes,” and how to build healthier, more connected relationships at any age.

Follow the pod and get in touch by sending a message on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan, taking on the issues people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

From betrayal and secrecy to rebuilding trust, communication, and a sense of self.

Follow the pod and get in touch on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan - taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

How online mental health content is shaping how we think and feel - and the risks when complex issues are oversimplified or widely shared.

Follow the pod and get in touch on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan - taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

Ciara and Richard explore what makes a “good” breakup, why it can be so painful, and how to end a relationship with less conflict and hurt.

Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also send a DM.

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan - taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

How constant exposure to bad news affects our mental health, and how to set boundaries without switching off completely.

Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also get in touch.

They Mess You Up - Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan take on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors.

New episode every Wednesday.

From inattention and impulsivity to time blindness and overwhelm, Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan explore the challenges of ADHD, the strengths it can bring, and how structure and support can help.

Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also get in touch via DM.

They Mess You Up! Taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors.
New episode every Wednesday.

After a personal loss, Ciara and Richard explore the reality of grief. How it ebbs and flows, why no two losses feel the same, and the complex emotions that follow. What helps in the early weeks and how to find connection while living with loss.

Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also get in touch.

They Mess You Up! Taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors.
New episode every Wednesday.

Exploring loneliness - why it can feel like physical pain, the stigma around admitting it, who is most affected and the small, practical steps that can make a difference.

Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also get in touch.

They Mess You Up! Taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors.
New episode every Wednesday.

The impact of technology on children - from harmful content pushed by algorithms to material on eating disorders and self-harm. Ciara and Richard discuss regulation, big tech, and simple steps parents can take, including keeping phones out of bedrooms at night!

Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also get in touch.

They Mess You Up! Taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors.
New episode every Wednesday.

People who turn every situation into a crisis! Dealing with dramatic people is the topic this week. Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan look at why some people rely on drama, how it affects those around them, and how to protect your own peace without getting pulled into the chaos.

Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also get in touch.

They Mess You Up! Taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors.
New episode every Wednesday.

A topic few people talk about: when a parent doesn’t like their child. In this episode Dr. Richard Hogan and Dr. Ciara Kelly explore why this can happen, from personality clashes to deeper issues. They look at how emotional distance and constant criticism affect a child’s self-esteem and ability to trust. And dig into what’s really behind these difficult parent child dynamics. 

Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also get in touch.

They Mess You Up! Taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors.
New episode every Wednesday.

In this thought-provoking and final episode of season 1, Dr. Richard Hogan and Dr. Ciara Kelly delve into the complex world of technology and its impact on adolescents. With the ubiquitous presence of smartphones, they explore the challenges parents face in guiding their children through this digital landscape, where connection often comes with isolation and heightened anxiety. Join them as they discuss the emotional turmoil of adolescence, the significance of setting boundaries, and the pervasive nature of online bullying and harmful content. Richard shares personal anecdotes that resonate deeply, emphasizing the need for open communication and understanding during these formative years.

In the first episode of 2025, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan dive into the topic of New Year's resolutions and the futility of punitive self-improvement goals. They discuss the high failure rates of common resolutions and why setting oneself up for a "new year, new me" can lead to feelings of hopelessness. Instead of purging negative habits, Ciara and Richard advocate for the power of positive reinforcement and self-acceptance. Tune in as they share insights on building sustainable habits, distinguishing triggers, and cultivating a kinder internal dialogue. Discover how embracing yourself can lead to genuine growth and fulfillment.

In this festive Christmas special, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan tackle the often challenging dynamics of family gatherings. Whether you're returning home to your parents or hosting your in-laws, the pressure can be intense. Join Ciara and Richard as they explore the emotional layers of Christmas, touching on childhood roles and family expectations that can resurface during the holidays. They dive into how old wounds can flare up and share practical tips for navigating difficult conversations, setting boundaries, and injecting more joy into the season. Discover how to shift your mindset and respond differently to family dynamics, allowing yourself to enjoy the good moments amidst the chaos.

In this revealing episode, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan shine a light on the often-taboo subject of sex addiction. They discusses the emotional isolation and shame that accompany this hidden struggle, sharing real experiences and insights into its deeper roots, often linked to childhood trauma. Join Ciara and Richard as they explore the complexities of sexual compulsions, the impact on relationships, and the harsh societal stigmas surrounding this addiction. Offering practical advice, they guide listeners through steps towards recovery, emphasizing compassion, open communication, and the importance of intimacy in navigating these challenges.