Hot Evelyn Summer comes to a bewildering conclusion with The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton. We were joined by writer and standup comedian Laura Merli (@passiveabrasive) to discuss this time loop locked room mystery. Fun fact: the American publisher added a 1/2 death to make this title less similar to The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Listen to this episode after watching Laura’s new standup special, Belly Slappin’ Fun, on YouTube!

Readers advisory: Here.

Announcement: RSVP for our live show at Porter Square Books Boston on Tuesday, September 17th at 6pm!

Footnotes: LAPL Interview with Stuart Turton.

Coming up next: Crush by Tracy Wolff.

Don’t cry because Flashback Summer is over; smile because Hot Evelyn Summer is beginning! Returning bisexual icon Margaret H. Willison (1/3 of Two Bossy Dames, don’t check the math) joined us to discuss The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. We had a great time unpacking Evelyn’s wardrobe (which is much more substantial than her frame narrative). If you listen to this episode, you’ll come closer to being able to distinguish Evelyn Hugo from Evelyn Hardcastle.

Readers advisory: Here.

Announcement: RSVP for our live show at Porter Square Books Boston on Tuesday, September 17th at 6pm!

Footnotes: “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo Movie: All About the Highly Anticipated Adaptation” by Rebecca Aizin

Coming up next: The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Harcastle by Stuart Turton.

Y’all horny for some dragons? We forged a soul bond with comedian, writer, and Scary Mommy Sarah Aswell by reading Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros together. Listen to this episode while pondering ways to legally murder your classmates!

Content warning: Here there be dragons. Also, dead parents.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “How Rebecca Yarros Packed Dragons, Magic and Steamy Sex Into a Blockbuster Fantasy” by Alexandra Alter

“Q&A: Rebecca Yarros on Chronic Illness Representation in Fourth Wing” by Riyana Straetker

NPR Weekend Edition: “Veronica Roth’s ‘Carve The Mark’ Is A Fantasy Inspired By Chronic Pain”

Coming up next: Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon.

Flashback Summer is off to the races! Well, kind of. We eventually got to the races after a long slog through the wilderness. We read The Black Stallion Revolts by Walter Farley with returning guest Carrie. It's the classic story of a horse and a horse boy. And a crime boy. Well, we're still waiting for the fingerprint analysis to exonerate the crime boy. Listening to this episode might just cure your amnesia!

It's our 150th episode, and to kick off our 4th Flashback Summer, we asked to hear from you, our listeners. We loved hearing about everyone's childhood favorite books and sharing a little bit about ours.

Bad news: A Werewolf in Riverdale by Caleb Roehrig is not a tie-in to the CW show Riverdale, but rather to the town of Riverdale from the Archie comics. Well--from the Archie Horror comics. Good news: we once again teamed up with J. and Collision from I Don't Even Own a Television to tackle the big questions raised by this novel, most importantly: did you know that Jughead's little hat is called a "whoopee cap," and when Jughead transforms into a werewolf, does he still wear his whoopee cap?

We like X-Men. Our guest Anna (@lcarslibrarian) likes Star Trek. So we thought it would be fun to read the Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men crossover novel Planet X by Michael Jan Friedman. But it turns out that this exhausting crossover novel spends most of its time focused on a new character who isn't particularly connected to either franchise. Set your phasers for "none" and don't read this book!

When the going gets tough, the tough get to reading cozy cat mysteries. We read The Fast and the Furriest by Sofie Ryan, the story of a small coastal town plagued with murder and antiquers. Our opinions were split--Renata liked the cat but not the murder, Kait liked the murder but not the cat, and Duarte just hopes that feline detectives are paid a fair wage. Listen to this episode at a safe social distance from any murderers and/or antiquers!

Katharine McGee's novel American Royals dares to ask: what if the United States had a royal family? And what if the modern-day American royal children were a little bit horny? The Bellwether Friends, Anna and Alene, joined us to discuss this book's baffling structure, insufficient world-building, and potential Wawa sponsorship.

We've been reading too much frivolous lady fiction around here, so we had to make time to read a Serious Book by an Important White Man. Our guest Amy used her human skills of persuasion to get us to read Machines Like Me by Ian McEwan, Finally, someone has dared to ask the questions: what if robots could have emotions and also working penises and also what if the UK had lost the Falklands War?

Hey girl, guess what? Your life could be way better than it is right now if you just believed in yourself and also married a high-up Disney executive! Definitely mostly the first thing though. We were joined by Margaret H. Willison (1/2 of Two Bossy Dames, 1/3 of Appointment Television, and one of Pop Culture Happy Hour's 4th chairs) to discuss Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, a Christian self-help book that misleadingly contained no skin care advice whatsoever.

We invited Rebecca Mahoney, co-writer of The Bridge podcast and author of the upcoming YA novel The Valley and the Flood, to be a guest on our new podcast, My Least Favorite Murder. We read novelist Patricia Cornwell's ambitiously-titled true crime book Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper--Case Closed. Listen now to hear more than you ever wanted to know about a famous painter's penis!

As a belated Valentine to ourselves, we invited our friend Angie (@MissKubelik), editor of The Other F-Word, back on the show to read a Best Bestseller. We read Scythe by Neal Shusterman, a twisty YA utopia-ish where death is optional and the cloud is your friend. This episode does contain full spoilers for a book that we sincerely recommend reading, so maybe hold off on listening if you've been meaning to read Scythe? Or listen to the episode now--in the age of mortality, life is short.

 

The devil made us read This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti. Fortunately, we were #blessed to be joined by Izzy Wasserstein, author of These Fragile Graces, This Fugitive Heart, who helped safely guide us through this Christian thriller. Listen to this episode while waiting for a cool angel to pick you up on her motorcycle.

Content warning: False accusations of sexual assault, Christian fundamentalism, murder/suicide/demon attack.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “This Present Darkness” on Wikipedia

“The long history and slow death of a word once used to describe everyone and everything from Egypt to China as well as rugs” by Yanan Wang

“15 times The X-Files’ Dana Scully was the best character on TV” by Sarah Crocker

Coming up next: Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros.

To ease ourselves back into reading garbage after our winter break, we had returning guest Christine join us for another book by Our Lady Nora Roberts. This time around, we read Midnight Bayou, a Louisiana love story for the ages between a man and home renovations. You're going to have to turn your volume way up if you want to listen to this episode over all that Mardi Gras ruckus!

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2019 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites! Please note: We counted things that we read in 2019, regardless of publication year. We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those. For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive! Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail!

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2018 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites! Please note: We counted things that we read in 2019, regardless of publication year. We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those. For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive! Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail!

How desperate is Kait for scraps? She pre-ordered the next Murder Games novel just for another dumb murder story about gay people, despite all her issues with the first one. And boy, there were issues. Join Kait and Wren as they delve into what works and what doesn't in "James Patterson's" foray into queer protagonists, and gush endlessly over how much they love the incredibly silly show based on it. Original Episode Readers Advisory Coming up next: Bests and Worsts of 2019, Part One

We knew we would need a lot of help to get through the frequently-requested book The Mister by E. L. James, so we tagged in Kitty and Piggy, the financial mavens behind the website and now podcast Bitches Get Riches! We'd already suffered through both Fifty Shades of Grey and also Grey, so we thought we knew what we were in for. But The Mister took us to unexpected places, such as inside a pair of big pink granny panties, and also Albania. Don't miss DJ Maxim's Club remix of this episode!

It must be the season of the witch, since we read The Initiation, the first book in L. J. Smith's Secret Circle series. The new school year in New Salem marks the start of some beautiful friendships whose homoerotic subtext is only barely concealed beneath a thin layer of herbs. Plus also, some valuable lessons about urban planning!

We revisited the world of V. C. Andrews and read Dark Angel, the second book in the Casteel family saga with V. C. Andrews apologist Arielle. It's a grim story of a girl who escapes her impoverished hometown but can't get away from the fact that men are trash everywhere. Keep your wits about you if you listen to this episode in a hedge maze!

As listeners to the podcast may know, we're big fans of Dwayne Johnson, but slightly less knowledgable about his pro wrestling alter ego, The Rock. So we invited Tres Dean, author of For Your Consideration: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, to read the 2000 memoir The Rock Says... by The Rock and Joe Leyden. We learned a lot about both Dwayne Johnson and The Rock. Arguably, more than we wanted to know? Put your MP3 player in your fanny pack to listen to this episode on the go!

Unlike vampires, we keep aging, so this is our 5th podcastversary! Tragically, we've completed our run on the Twilight saga, but the show must go on. We brought back returning guest Caroline to discuss Stephenie Meyer's awkward alien follow-up to the Twilight saga, The Host. Bad news: it's not as entertaining as Twilight. Good news: she never followed through on making this a trilogy. As you listen to this episode, please join us in using The Secret to compel Stephenie Meyer to write another vampire book for next year!

Divergent by Veronica Roth, a dystopian society controlled by Buzzfeed quizzes, has been one of most frequently-requested episodes. In an effort to bring peace to the five factions, we invited Annie, author of The Chance You Won't Return and cohost of the Crossover Appeal podcast to read this flash-in-the-pan dystopian novel with us. Listen to this episode on your next trip to Chicago--just make sure to be careful when jumping off the El train!

Ice, ice, baby! Annie Cardi, author of Red, returned to the podcast to discuss the sexy skater Booktok sensation Icebreaker by Hannah Grace. Join us as we skate back to college and dirty talk our way into the Olympics!

Content warning: Disordered eating, gaslighting, emotional abuse.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “Who Is Hannah Grace? And Why Won’t She Show Her Face?” by Elisabeth Egan

Coming up next: This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti.

Hola! We read the Dora and the Lost City of Gold movie novelization by Steve Behling so you don't have to! We were joined by librarian extraordinaire and Dora the Explorer watcher Kristi, who helped us avoid getting stuck in the quicksand of this self-aware novel that briefly took Twitter by storm. Strap on your backpack and listen to this episode as you hack your way through the jungle!

As Flashback Summer draws to a close for another year, our friend Kelsey joined us to return to a feminist favorite: Dealing With Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede. The three of us all loved this book as tweens and were thrilled to report that it holds up. Listen to this episode while cleaning your dragon's cave.

For this installment of Flashback Summer, we flashed way back to ancient Rome. We read The Rotten Romans from the Horrible Histories series by Terry Deary & Martin Brown with returning guest, librarian Laura. It’s a whimsically British look at history with some cartoons that remain inscrutable, even to the eyes of adult Americans with history degrees. This podcast is only available in English, because Latin is a dead language (RIP).

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Ancient Roman Readers Advisory sent by listener Lydia

Ecce Romani memes

Our Fake History podcast

Sawbones podcast

Candy Pairing:  Kait says Fig Newtons, Laura says chocolate, Renata says no thank you.

Coming up next: Dealing With Dragons by Patricia Wrede.

 

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Audio Player

Flashback Summer continues with a trip to the Polk Street School, where the kids aren't alright. Becca joined us to read Pickle Puss by Patricia Reilly Giff, an early chapter book about how not to run a summer reading program or care for a pet. Listen to this episode on your way to deceive your local librarian!

The next stop on our Flashback Summer vacation is the 30th floor of an elementary school. Literary agent Amy joined us to read Sideways Stories from Wayside School by Louis Sachar. Everyone should listen to this episode, unless you're secretly a dead rat in a raincoat. Dead rats are not allowed. Everyone else, join us on Apple podcasts before Mrs. Gorf turns you into an apple!

It's the return of Flashback Summer and the 40th anniversary of beloved children's classic Bunnicula by James & Deborah Howe. We were joined by Laura to discuss the story of some irresponsible pet owners. Listen now to hear one weird trick to make your vegetables more Instagrammable!

We ran out of Twilight books so we had to read about some less-sparkly vampires, ugh! Fortunately, we were #blessed with the company of not only Meredith Goldstein (author of the Boston Globe's Love Letters column as well as the books Can't Help Myself and Chemistry Lessons) but also a live audience at Trident Booksellers, for our discussion of Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice. If you weren't able to join us in person, now at last you can hear our agonized discussion of a book with a lot of arson and insufficient glam (which could have been rectified by the addition of Cher.) 

If you like sitting around, listening to esoteric monologues that may or may not relate to your life from random people who refuse to answer any pertinent questions, do we have the vision of the afterlife for you! Chelsea joined us for The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom, a trudge through one man's severely messed up existence that was probably meant to be inspirational, but mostly made us feel disturbed and dead inside. Hold onto your keys and join us on this carnival ride into our own personal hell!

We don't have anybody's HBO login, so instead of watching the show, we were forced to read the book Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty! Fortunately, we were joined by Melissa of the Truer Words podcast for this trip through the delightfully sordid world of Australian elementary school politics. Are you #TeamMadeline or #TeamRenata? Duarte is #TeamRenata, but only because Madeline has never fed him.

When Gina joined us to read A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness, we were startled to discover that this book has way more than just witches! This book also has vampires, daemons, and plenty of #herbs. Join us for a relationship between a witch with tenure and a vampire who is 15 times older than Edward Cullen!

 

Nora Roberts Month continues! Heidi and Emily from Romancing the Shelf podcast returned and took us back to the 90s with the vintage romantic thriller Sanctuary. Sadly, this book has zero plates of casual pasta but it does have at least 3.5 romantic couples and almost as many murders. Listen to this episode on one of your three computers!

Content warning: Murder, sexual assault, questionable mental health care.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Romancing the Shelf – Sanctuary

“Nora Roberts: The woman who rewrote the rules of romantic fiction” by Carole Cadwalladr

Coming up next: Icebreaker by Hannah Grace.

In a world...where a teen girl's touch is deadly...to everyone except one hot guy...who she's locked in a jail cell with...what will happen next? According to Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi, maybe she'll overthrow the government? Bookseller Maggie joined us to discuss this chaste, yet horny YA dystopian novel.

Since James Patterson & Howard Roughan went to the trouble of giving their book two different titles, we decided that we needed the power of two book podcasts to discuss it. So we had our old friends J.W. and Chris from I Don't Even Own a Television (@IDEOTVpod) join us for Murder Games aka Instinct! The best thing about this book is that it got Alan Cumming an acting job. The worst thing about this book is...well, we'll tell you at the end of the next chapter.

We read After by Anna Todd, a fanfiction-turned-novel that's bold enough to ask the question: would you like to date Harry Styles, if, rather than being a member of One Direction, he was just a college student, and also a completely rude and hurtful person? Liz from Liz & Alissa Make Stuff joined us to conclude: no, we definitely would not like that. Be sure to download this before you begin the impossibly long journey from your dorm room to your boyfriend's frat house!

As the talents of Our Lady Nora Roberts cannot be held by one pen name alone, we were joined by fellow Nora devotee Christine to investigate Naked in Death by J. D. Robb. It's a romantic suspense novel set in a future that is in some ways better than our present day (the USA banned guns!) and in some ways much worse (coffee beans are nearly extinct due to deforestation)! Still, no matter what year it is, Nora is here to provide us with excellent strong female protagonists and the male love interests who almost deserve them.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and we feel fine, since we're spending it with Kathryn from the Truer Words podcast! Our Lady Nora Roberts has launched a post-apocalyptic series with Year One. Don't worry--even though 90% of the human population has been killed by a mysterious, magical virus, Nora wouldn't kill the dog.

Our lives have been changed by The Secret, as have those of Andrew and Craig from the Overdue podcast. So they joined us in reading How The Secret Changed My Life by Rhonda Byrne. We were delighted to combine our vision boards with Andrew and Craig; less delighted to hear about all the people who quit their jobs and their medicines and their Canadian lifestyles with no backup plan other than the goodwill of the universe. We know you'll love this episode, because we already asked the universe for your approval.

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2018 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites! Please note: We counted things that we read in 2018, regardless of publication year. We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those. For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive! Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail!

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2018 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites! Please note: We counted things that we read in 2018, regardless of publication year. We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those. For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive! Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail!

As the weather outside grows frightful, we decided to have our editor Becca join us for a trip Down Under. We read The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough, the 700-page epic saga of the Cleary family, who have almost as many shocking secrets as they do sheep. (And they have a lot of sheep.) Join us now in swearing fealty to Boy King!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Colleen McCullough’s ‘The Thorn Birds’ Is A Total Classic, And Here Are 6 Reasons You Need To Revisit It Right Now by Lindsay Harrison

‘Instant vomit!’ The Thorn Birds author gives her damning verdict on the iconic TV series

Review: The Thorn Birds, the musical – a tragic disaster in Swansea

Candy Pairing: Becca says a giant jawbreaker, Kait says a dirty hard candy, Renata says a sexy communion wafer.

Coming up next: Bests & Worsts of 2018 (Part 1, Children’s & YA).

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

How do you get and keep a man? Hell if Kait knows, even after reading Having It All by Helen Gurley Brown. Once again, Kait has gathered some queer friends to see if Helen Gurley Brown’s worldview falls apart if you are not a heterosexual, cisgender woman. (Spoiler alert: It does!) Join Kait, Wren (of Ready to Roll), and Laura as they explore whether bisexual people exist (Spoiler alert: They do!), what the best “thanks for the sex!” gift is (brass lion all the way), and how much to tip on dates (less than the price of whatever outmoded status symbol you gift to your date at the start).

Original Episode

Readers Advisory

Coming up next: The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough

Our Lady Nora Roberts has written a book about a handsome criminal who admires good architecture and casual pasta? We’re so back. Our friend and Nora Roberts expert Christine has returned to discuss Nightwork with us. Listen to this episode while working on your night cheese!

Content warning: Cancer, death of a parent.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: “A Visual Guide to 35 Popular Pasta Shapes — Plus the Best Sauce to Serve with Each” by Rochelle Bilow

Coming up next: Sanctuary by Nora Roberts.

Have you been wondering what Chris Colfer has been up to since Glee? Are you ready to read some self-insert celebrity real person fanfiction written by an actual celebrity? Honestly, you’re probably not, and we weren’t either, but we were happy to have Cory along for the ride with us as we read Stranger than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer. Have this podcast queued up to fill the awkward silence the next time you take a roadtrip with your best friends who don’t actually know anything about you!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Check, Please

St. Louis City Museum

844,739 Ways to Eat a Hamburger

Fanfiction 101

Candy Pairing: Cory says candy cigarettes, Kait says Nerds, Renata says a slushie.

Coming up next: Having it All by Helen Gurley Brown (Part 2).

 

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

 

Did you ever read a science fiction book and think, “I wish I knew more about these characters’ bathroom usage?” If so, Red Rising by Pierce Brown is the book for you! Children’s librarian Anna (@opinionsbyanna) joined us for this miserable slog through a Martian Hunger Games with no carbs and no bathroom breaks. Listen now to find out into which Hogwarts House each Martian House would be sorted!

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains sexual assault, war, and general unpleasantness.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Red Rising Wiki – Caste Pyramid

Red Rising Wiki – Houses

My Brother, My Brother and Me: Cool Pee Book

The West Wing – CJ Does The Jackal

Candy Pairing: Anna says Atomic warheads, Kait says generic beef jerky,  Renata says vomit flavored Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans.

Coming up next: Stranger Than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer.

 

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Happy Halloween! We faced the scariest thing imaginable for a bad books podcast: a video game tie-in novel that turned out to be actually like, really good? We know: we were shocked too. Almost as shocked as the teen protagonists of Five Nights at Freddy’s: The Silver Eyes by Kira Breed-Wrisley and Scott Cawthon were to discover all the horrors awaiting them at Freddy Fazbear’s Funtime Pizza. Rebecca Mahoney of The Bridge podcast joined us for one night of terror. Do not listen to this podcast on your overnight security guard shift: you need to keep your senses alert!

Content warning: This book and our discussion of it contains the death of a child, suicide, and some very scary animatronics.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Five Nights at Freddy’s on Steam

Five Nights at Freddy’s on Wikipedia

Five Nights at Freddy’s on GameFAQs

PlayPals – Five Nights at Freddy’s

Game Grumps – Five Nights at Freddy’s

Markiplier – Five Nights at Freddy’s

Polygon (feat Griffin and Justin McElroy) – Five Nights at Freddy’s 2

Polygon (feat Griffin and Justin McElroy) – Five Nights at Freddy’s 3

Candy Pairing: Kait says fruit flavored Tootsie rolls, Rebecca says Pop Rocks, Renata says birthday cake.

Coming up next: Red Rising by Pierce Brown.

 

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)