A monthly podcast converting Disney movies to Ravenloft domains of dread. No affiliation with Disney or WotC. New episodes drop on the 13th of every month!
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Greetings, programs, and welcome to the third and final installment of Wonderful World of Darklords' Summer Blockbuster series! "Blockbuster" is a strong word for both Tron and Tron: Legacy, but they're cult classics that busted blocks in the hearts of many (including Tom). That said, while CLU is one of those Disney villains who needs very little work to become a darklord, the Grid needs a whole lot of work to become a domain in a computer-free fantasy setting. Topics discussed include:
wait, Tron? Really? How does that work?
whether and how to include the ISOs, who add a complicated extra layer to the domain but also are a delicious part of CLU's torment;
additional setting elements to make the Grid a more fully realized and fleshed-out domain for gameplay, drawing from Tron: Uprising, Tron: Evolution, and the horrifyingly titled choose-your-own-adventure novel Tron: Legacy: It's Your Call: Initiate Sequence;
adapting D&D mechanics to the aesthetics of Tron, from "how to use a cool disk when I'm a sword guy" to "what's going on with those special user powers the Flynns use;"
Much like with Toy Story, Tom wrote an adventure for the Grid! As always with these longer adventures, a caveat: while our DM's Guild writeups for domains are free and always will be, adventures are a LOT more work and DM's Guild doesn't give us the option of "no, no, it's free for regular podcast listeners but everyone else has to pay." HOWEVER, just like with Sleepy Hollow, the Raven Nebula, and Toy Story, we have a coupon code to get our listeners the adventure for 99 cents instead of $1.99 until the end of September. (And if you join our Patreon, you can get access to a free link!) Check out the discounted link here: https://www.dmsguild.com/browse.php?discount=950be42e9f
Welcome to the second installment of the Wonderful World of Darklords Summer Blockbuster series! In this episode, we're going to look at the only movies in our series that actually busted blocks: the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. (Mostly the original trilogy, but we'll touch on 4 and 5). Topics discussed include:
Which of the MANY candidates for darklord we settled on, plus AU discussions about the other possibilities (including potential torments, how to make the domain reflect them, and the type of adventure you can run with them, if you're wondering why this episode passed our usual 2:10 ceiling);
The highly gameable hallmarks of a Pirates of the Caribbean adventure (credit to Ryan George's Pitch Meeting series), which you can use to make your own sessions feel appropriately Pirate-y;
Trade wars between the East India Trading Company and the Boritsi Trading Company, both of which are constantly beset by pirates, and WHY ARE WE NOT PLAYING THIS GAME RIGHT NOW;
Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords! Well, a sign pointing you toward Wonderful World of Darklords, anyway. As mentioned in our Home Alone episode, the Tower of Doom episode of Book Club of Dread was so ear-scorchingly filthy that we can't stand to have it appear on our main feed where some new listener might find it and think that's what we're all about, so we're making the standard cut available for free on our Patreon instead (as well as two director's cuts for patrons): https://www.patreon.com/posts/book-club-of-of-95322339?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link
Please, PLEASE read the show notes before listening. We may have bleeped the f-bombs, but there are some direct quotes there that'll give you a pretty good idea of why we still didn't want this on our main feed.
Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords, ya filthy animal! While it's not animated, Home Alone is technically Disney now that they've bought 20th Century Fox (and let's face it, we're eventually doing Hocus Pocus and Haunted Mansion, so "not animated" isn't a dealbreaker). What's more, in a world where a magical wish really can make your family disappear, Kevin is a perfect darklord trapped in a hell of his own creation--and ready to put your PCs in that hell, too. Topics discussed include:
How to get your PCs to go into Kevin's little funhouse so they get all tore up, even though they presumably won't be tempted by promises of stereos, VCRs, and toys;
Suggestions for translating Kevin's sadistic traps into their equally sadistic D&D equivalents (with some inspiration from the master of "up yours" traps, Gary Gygax);
Alternate versions of Kevin and his house with a variety of different tones, from "heartwarming holiday special about family" to "cathartic beatdown of a spoiled, hateful man-child;"
The challenges of adapting a film where the wish-fulfillment power fantasy character is the darklord and the hapless victims are the PCs;
Book Club of Dread absolutely will not be ready December 20th (very optimistic view of your editing powers there, Past Rachel), but we're going to move heaven and earth to make sure it's out by Epiphany so the Christmas Bellringer is still appropriate. For the Christmas Bellringer, you want roughly equal parts ginger beer and orange juice OR roughly equal parts gin, ginger beer, and orange juice; adjust the proportions to taste. Please, we beg you, go slow if you add the gin. The ginger beer hide the flavor of the gin, you forget you aren't drinking a mocktail, and your bell get rung if you pour yourself a big ol' glass with the intention of nursing it over a couple hours. This stuff makes Hocus Pocus Punch look like chocolate milk.
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Episode 16: The Great Mouse Detective
Season 2 · Episode 16
Monday, November 13, 2023 • Duration 02:05:33
CONTENT ADVISORY: The in-character fiction for this episode involves children being held hostage and threatened with harm. They escape completely unharmed, but please proceed with caution if images from current events are fresh in your mind. (We're so sorry! We wanted something that connected to D's back story and didn't make the connection.)
Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords! In this episode, we're looking at a setting and a darklord so tailor-made for Ravenloft that we barely needed to do any work: Professor Ratigan. Combining Moriarty's criminal genius, Jekyll and Hyde's duality, and Vincent Price's golden pipes, Ratigan is the best of the worst around...and with London by gaslight as his domain, things just keep getting better. Topics discussed include:
How to get Basil out of the picture so the PCs can be Ratigan's rivals instead, but without rehashing Robin Hood and Prince John;
A curse for Ratigan that lets us play with his delicious stew of self-loathing, denial, obsession, and vanity;
The underbaked 2e/3e domain and darklord that can find its themes more fully expressed in Londinium, and the fully-baked one that can be folded into it as well;
Suggestions for running a big bad who outsmarts the PCs at every turn without losing friends;
You can find the Hour of the Knife adventure for sale on DM's Guild at https://www.dmsguild.com/product/17507/Hour-of-the-Knife-2e, and Shadow of the Knife for free at www.kargatane.com. (It's under "Adventures." We can't just link the darn thing or it'll start automatically downloading the zip file on you. Welcome to 2003.)
You can find the original "butt puppets" episode (which is actually pretty PG-13 rated) here:
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The Peddler's Tales, Ep. 2: Alameda Slim
Season 2
Tuesday, October 31, 2023 • Duration 01:01:27
Happy Halloween, and welcome to the Peddler's Tales! Today, in honor of the holiday, we present the greatest horror we have ever faced for this podcast: Home on the Range. Don't worry, you don't have to watch the movie to listen to the episode. In fact, we beg you not to. Kris Newton joins us to explain his bizarre fixation with Alameda Slim (the only good part of this godawful movie) and to bring him to life as yodeling, cattle-rustling Mist Traveler with a yearning for revenge. Topics discussed include:
Various potential back stories and motivations for Slim, including a surprising connection to our upcoming Book Club of Dread;
The unique challenges and opportunities presented by cow-based combat;
The valuable place in the gaming ecosystem that an Alameda Slim can occupy but a Maleficent can't (although who knows? Maybe she yodels);
A magic item that brings the potential for cosmic horror to Home on the Freaking Range, of all dang movies;
Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords! Since we release on the 13th of each month, our Coco episode was either going to be early or fashionably late for Day of the Dead, and we decided on early. Ernesto de la Cruz is a phenomenal darklord, and you can't go wrong with skeletons for a domain aesthetic, but getting the PCs to the Land of the Dead without an elaborate setup involving the theft of a guitar from a mausoleum was tricky. We cracked it, though, and we'll be discussing that along with:
How to give de la Cruz an ongoing torment that generates plot hooks, since he seems to be living his best unlife coasting on "Remember Me,"
The horrific undertones of Coco that initially turned us off the movie (don't worry, we came around), and how to exploit those if you're making the setting horrific on purpose;
Some ideas for additional ghost stories or undead antagonists that fit Coco's themes of memory and reputation, along with a whole lot of references to Van Richten's Guide to Ghosts;
The canon darklord who truly, passionately, and unconditionally loathes de la Cruz;
and more, including a milestone in our Genres of Horror section!
Welcome back to Wonderful World of Darklords! Our summer hiatus has ended, and we're coming back with a franchise that was our white whale for months: the Toy Story trilogy. (Yes, trilogy. We're so glad they didn't make any more movies after Toy Story 3, the perfect ending to the series, la la la we can't hear you.) Lotso is a perfect darklord in so many ways, but how can the PCs interact with a domain in which every important character is a toy that pretends to be inanimate whenever humans are around? Cracking that puzzle was harder than evading a toy monkey in a panopticon, but we managed it without nearly getting ourselves incinerated in the process.
Topics discussed include:
How to get your PCs interacting with Lotso in a way similar to how Woody, Buzz, and the gang do, instead of just tying him to the front of a garbage truck;
An in-universe mechanical explanation for why the toys have to freeze in almost every situation, but can move around to scare the pants off Sid;
Why the phrase "Stinky Pete is a Kargat agent" makes perfect sense in context;
A way to make a Sunnyside-based adventure feel like a Toy Story movie, complete with traveling from one location to another on a strict deadline (although, alas, the final destination isn't Andy's house and the deadline doesn't involve anyone moving or going to college);
In addition to the free DM's Guild writeup, Tom wrote a Toy Story adventure like our Sleepy Hollow adventure from October! As always with these longer adventures, a caveat: while our DM's Guild writeups for domains are free and always will be, adventures are a LOT more work and DM's Guild doesn't give us the option of "no, no, it's free for regular podcast listeners but everyone else has to pay." HOWEVER, just like with Sleepy Hollow and the Raven Nebula, we have a coupon code to get our listeners the adventure for 99 cents instead of $1.99 until the end of September. (And if you join our Patreon, you can get access to a free link!) Check out the discounted link
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The Peddler's Tales, Episode 1: Cruella De Vil
Sunday, August 13, 2023 • Duration 01:11:20
Welcome to Part Two of the Wonderful World of Darklords' Dog Days of Summer! Tom and Rachel have finally finished their summer travel and will be returning to regular episodes next month, but for now, we're experimenting with a bonus episode format proposed by the incomparable Kris Newton: The Peddler's Tales, in which D learns about various Mist Travelers who are beloved characters but don't have darklord potential. For that, we hard to start with iconic Disney villain who doesn't have a single one of our four darklord qualities: Cruella De Vil. (Look, if you find it tragic and relatable that she can't make a coat out of puppies, that's between you and Ezra.) Kris joins us as we discuss:
The roles Cruella can play in your campaign, from pure antagonist to shady quest-giver;
A spirited debate on the most appropriate base stats for Cruella, since we can't give her darklord powers to beef them up;
How to emulate the feeling of 101 Dalmatianswith a D&D party, since heavily armed transients have a far different skill set and problem-solving toolbox than a plethora of puppies;
Cruella's potential mooks, henchmen, and criminal contacts beyond Horace and Jasper (prepare for more Disney Easter eggs, y'all);
Book Club of Dread: Hocus Pocus and the All-New Sequel
Thursday, July 13, 2023 • Duration 02:46:45
Welcome to Wonderful World of Darklords' Dog Days of Summer! Tom and Rachel have just finished driving thirty hours in the span of two weeks and their summer travel isn't done yet, so in lieu of regular episodes, we're going to be airing bonus episodes in July and August. Luckily, that gives us the chance to premier the long-awaited Book Club of Dread!
If you thought that Hocus Pocus 2 we got was too derivative of the original, you ain't seen nothing yet. According to industry gossip, Disney wanted to make a 25th anniversary sequel in 2018. When it fell through, they commissioned A.W. Jantha to turn that script into a novel, and the result was...not good. We're going to provide you an exhaustive synopsis of this ridiculous novel, then spend some time snuffling out the delicious gaming truffles hidden in this manure. Topics discussed include:
The original character who was meant to be the Dani analog, and an analysis of why Dani is endearing while this chucklehead needs to be shot to the moon in a cannon;
The character from Hocus Pocus who got a complete personality transplant somewhere in the intervening 25 years, turning what could have been an interesting unresolved emotional beat into a Harry Potter knockoff;
The genre for which A.W. Jantha has a genuine gift (sadly, it's not screwball horror comedy);
So, so many plot points that occur just like they do in that movie, Hocus Pocus, but with none of the charm;
And more!
As a reminder, this episode is PG-13 rather than PG. We're bleeping out the f-bombs, but there are a LOT of bleeped f-bombs, and the humor gets a bit saltier.
If you want to drink along with us, the recipe for Hocus Pocus Punch is here: https://crayonsandcravings.com/hocus-pocus-punch/ We turned it into a cocktail, but the recipe is for a mocktail, and it would be delicious either way.
All music recordings are in the public domain (mark 1.0) and are licensed through https://musopen.org:
