The Torn Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

Paul spent years pushing down his true desires, until one moment of honesty changed everything. In this episode, an actor shares Paul’s story and after each chapter of that story, Susan, Caitlin and James reflect on what his conflict reveals about choice, longing and courage. This is a story about the tension between 'wanting' and 'getting' and the possibilities and risks which open up when we finally pay attention to what we really want.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all know the feeling of being pulled in two directions at once. In this first episode, Susan, Caitlin and James introduce The Torn Project; why it exists; what 'inner conflict' really means; and how listening to real stories and learning from reliable resources can help us find balance. This process marks the start of an ongoing conversation about those messy human moments when our wants, needs and beliefs collide – moments which are actually an essential part of our development as human beings. If you've ever felt torn, ever supported someone who felt torn, or are curious about the topic of inner conflict, then join us as we explore what that means, together.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when the job you’ve worked your whole life to reach becomes a place of quiet harm? In this episode, an actor tells Emilia's story from the joy of being elected president of her national cycling federation to the slow realisation that she was facing a culture of undermining, surveillance and workplace bullying.

After each chapter, Caitlin and James explore the inner conflict at the heart of Amelia’s experience: duty versus agency, heart versus gut, staying to “do the right thing” versus leaving to protect your wellbeing. They discuss red flags of bullying, why self-doubt and self-gaslighting show up, and how support truly helps — through presence, validation and clarity rather than quick fixes.

Emilia's turning point comes with peace of a different kind: making space for conflicting parts, listening to her body, and choosing to leave on her terms, with honesty about what was happening. It’s a story about owning your narrative, naming harm, and finding alignment between values and action.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all experience moments of inner conflict, from the small, everyday choices to the big, life-defining decisions. In this episode, Susan and Caitlin explore the many shapes that being ‘torn’ can take between duty and desire, past and future, self and others. Drawing on stories from The Torn Project and their own experiences, they uncover what these tensions reveal about who we are, what we value, and how we learn to live with the contradictions that make us human.

Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject

To reach out directly, email us at susan@thetornproject.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What really happens inside us when we’re torn? After analysing over 120 real stories of inner conflict, the Torn Project team noticed something unexpected: a shared pattern running through every account. In this episode, they introduce The Torn Journey, a seven-stage map that traces how inner conflict first stirs, how it intensifies, where we get stuck, and how resolution can become possible.

In this episode, Susan and Caitlin walk us through each stage: from unconscious unease and conscious awareness, through information-gathering and experimentation, to the tipping point, the forks in the road, and the final resolution. This is an episode about understanding yourself with more compassion, trusting the process when things feel confusing, and recognising that being torn is not a failure but one way in which we grow.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between choices, unsure what step comes next, or overwhelmed by the emotional weight of decision-making, this episode offers reassurance, a route map, and a powerful framework for navigating the journey.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this dramatisation of a real-life experience, we step inside the mind of a mother facing an unimaginable choice. Told as a first-person monologue and voiced by an actor without any external comment, this episode navigates the private landscape of fear, love, faith, anger, and the weight of responsibility. Through an exploration of the fierce bond between mother and child, we witness the inner journey of making an impossible decision.

This is a deeply emotional story involving serious child illness and bereavement, so you may wish to consider where and when you listen.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, the hosts turn the questions on themselves.

Susan, Caitlin and James interview one another, sharing how The Torn Project began, what brought each of them to this work, and the personal experiences that continue to shape it.

Together, they explore the threads that connect psychology, coaching, technology, and creativity, and reveal what inner conflict means to them, not just as professionals, but as people.

This is an episode about purpose, partnership, and the human stories behind The Torn Project, how three different paths converged on a shared mission to help others navigate the complexities of being human.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when who you are feels unsafe to be known?

In this episode of The Torn Podcast, we share Ian’s story, which is a powerful, long-arc journey of inner conflict shaped by growing up gay in a time when homosexuality was illegal in the UK. Narrated by an actor to protect anonymity, Ian’s story traces decades of tension between inner truth and external danger: family expectations, religious pressure, fear of punishment, and the very real threat of violence.

Susan and Caitlin reflect on Ian’s experiences through the lens of inner conflict, exploring shame, secrecy, identity, and the slow, non-linear process of coming to terms with who you are. They look at how context, relationships, and community can either trap us in conflict or help us move through it, and why some conflicts don’t disappear so much as soften, settle, and become integrated over time.

This is an episode about patience, self-compassion, and the courage it takes to keep unfolding even when safety is never guaranteed. A reminder that being torn is not a failure, and that resolution doesn’t always mean certainty, but peace.

Content note: This episode discusses historical criminalisation of homosexuality, stigma, and the threat of violence.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the parts of you that feel anxious, critical, or overwhelming aren’t problems to fix, but parts of you trying, in their own way, to protect you?

In this episode, Caitlin is joined by Alex, a London-based psychotherapist working with Internal Family Systems (IFS). For professional confidentiality reasons, Alex’s voice is performed by an actor, but the insights shared are very real and deeply practical.

Together, they explore how IFS helps us understand inner conflict by recognising that we are not a single, unified voice, but a system of “parts” each with its own role, fears, and good intentions. Rather than silencing or fighting these parts, IFS invites us to listen to them, befriend them, and restore balance within ourselves.

This is an episode about self-acceptance, compassion, and understanding that being torn is not a failure, but a sign that different parts of you are trying to help in different ways.

Books Recommended:

• Self Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Inner Wholeness Using IFS, a New, Cutting-Edge Therapy. By Jay Earley
• No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model. By Richard Schwartz. <https://ifs-institute.com/nobadparts> 
• Also find No Bad Parts via our We Love filter in our resources section <https://thetornproject.com/resources/no-bad-parts>

Resources to help you work out if professional help is needed, and how to go about finding it:

• Do I need professional support <https://thetornproject.com/resources/do-i-need-professional-help>
• When giving support isn’t enough <https://thetornproject.com/resources/when-giving-support-is-not-enough>
• We love: Befrienders Worldwide <https://thetornproject.com/resources/befrienders-worldwide>
• 
  

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when a relationship to alcohol that once felt easy and enjoyable begins to feel complicated?

In this episode, Richard shares his experience of becoming torn about alcohol and how he used parts work to think through and reshape his changing relationship with drinking. Following a health scare, Richard knew something needed to change, but stopping outright didn’t feel simple or right. Instead, he found himself navigating competing inner voices: parts that valued pleasure, routine and social connection, alongside parts that wanted health, clarity and self-respect.

This episode explores how parts work can help us move away from shame, rigidity and willpower-driven change, and towards curiosity, compassion and inner collaboration.

To deepen your understanding of parts work, you may want to listen to Episode 9: What is Parts Work and Why Is It Important?

In that episode, a therapist explains the original theory behind parts work and offers further insight into how you can use it yourself and how working with a trained therapist can provide additional support.

Listen here:

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-torn-podcast/id1843063117?i=1000743928274

We want to offer a range of resources alongside this episode, depending on where you or someone you care about may be in relationship to alcohol.

For those rethinking their drinking:

• Alcohol Change UK: https://alcoholchange.org.uk/
• NHS alcohol advice and support: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/
• Sober Curious podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/sober-curious/id1460377009
• This Naked Mind podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

For those actively worried about dependent or addictive drinking — their own or someone else’s:

• NHS alcohol support: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/alcohol-support/
• Find local alcohol addiction services: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/find-alcohol-addiction-support-services/
• SMART Recovery UK (also supports other forms of addiction): https://smartrecovery.org.uk/
• We Are With You (drug, alcohol and mental health support): https://www.wearewithyou.org.uk/

Important note: This episode does not replace professional support. If alcohol use is causing harm or feels out of control, reaching out for specialist help can be an important next step. If you’ve ever felt torn between what you enjoy and what you sense might need to change, this episode offers insight, reassurance, and a compassionate framework for navigating that inner conflict.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.