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Explore every episode of the podcast The Terrible Creative

Dive into the complete episode list for The Terrible Creative. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

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TitlePub. DateDuration
Photographers Can Be D*cks (But You Don’t Have to Be One)22 Apr 202500:17:59

Patrick calls out the toxic gatekeeping culture that's suffocating creativity in photography — and offers a better way forward for anyone tired of comment-section warriors and gear snobs who've confused being an asshole with having standards.


Episode Summary

From unsolicited critique bros to insecure middle-aged men treating Instagram like academic journals, photography has a gatekeeping problem. This episode explores why photographers can be unnecessarily cruel, how it stems from fear and insecurity, and why the most successful photographers are actually the most generous.

Patrick shares his own experience of being publicly torn apart for a simple business post, reveals his moments of being "that guy" himself, and introduces a framework for filtering feedback that could revolutionize how you handle criticism.


Key Topics Covered

The Gatekeeping Problem

  • Why photography culture has become toxically hierarchical
  • How fear and insecurity drive cruel behavior online
  • The difference between constructive critique and ego-driven attacks

The Psychology Behind Photographer Dickishness

  • Callback to Episode 1's "Mount Stupid" concept and Dunning-Kruger effect
  • Elizabeth Gilbert's "hungry ghost" — the insatiable ego that feeds on diminishing others
  • Why problem-solving instincts can turn toxic without self-awareness

The Feedback Filtering System

  • Industry experts: When to listen and take notes
  • Peer review: Valuable insights vs. armchair quarterbacking
  • General audience: Gut reactions are gold, technical opinions are noise
  • Your inner critic: The giant prick who sees flaws invisible to everyone else

What Successful Photographers Actually Do

  • Why the most talented photographers are the most generous
  • How kindness and collaboration build sustainable careers
  • The difference between confidence and cruelty


Key Quotes

"Photography doesn't need more experts. It needs more people who remember what it felt like to be uncertain, to post something they weren't sure about, to be brave enough to put their vision out there despite the risk of criticism.""An unchecked ego is what Elizabeth Gilbert calls 'a hungry ghost' — forever famished, eternally howling with need and greed.""Unless explicitly asked for feedback, keep it to yourself. Your unsolicited expertise isn't helping anyone — it's just feeding your own ego.""Tearing someone down is easier than building yourself up. Pointing out flaws is easier than creating something flawless.""We don't get better by being meaner. We get better by being more human."


This Week's Challenge

Say something kind. Find a photographer whose work you genuinely admire and tell them why — specifically, thoughtfully. Offer encouragement to someone newer than you instead of unsolicited advice.

And if you catch yourself about to post that clever criticism, that technical correction, that snarky observation — pause. Ask yourself: Is this making the photography community better, or am I just trying to feel superior?


Resources Mentioned

  • Elizabeth Gilbert (Author of "Big Magic" and the "hungry ghost" concept)
  • Dunning-Kruger Effect (Psychological phenomenon from Episode 1)
  • "Mount Stupid" (Framework introduced in Episode 1)


Connect

Credits

Music provided by and licensed through Artist.io
Episode Photo by Brando Makes Branding | Unsplash

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every two weeks.

Choose the kind of photographer you want to be — choose the one who lifts others up.

You’re Not Terrible, You’re Just Early - Why showing up bad is the only way to get good22 Apr 202500:19:48

Welcome to the first episode of The Terrible Photographer — a podcast for working photographers and creative humans who are done with fake positivity, influencer bullshit, and pretending they have it all figured out.


Episode Summary

Patrick shares the brutal Clubhouse critique that sparked this entire podcast, explores why "terrible" might be the most important phase of your creative development, and introduces the psychological framework every photographer needs to understand: Mount Stupid vs. The Valley of Despair.

This episode sets the foundation for the entire series — examining the messy, honest, human side of making art while trying to survive.


Key Topics Covered

The Clubhouse Origin Story

  • How a pandemic-era app became a creative lifeline
  • The 22-year-old photography student who delivered the harsh truth
  • Why sometimes brutal honesty is exactly what we need

Creative Confidence vs. Competence

  • The motorcycle metaphor that explains everything
  • "Mount Stupid" — when ego outpaces ability
  • "Valley of Despair" — when taste develops faster than skill
  • How to navigate both phases without losing your mind

Building Authentic Confidence

  • Master your tools until they become extensions of your vision
  • Put in the hours — there are no shortcuts to mastery
  • Study the masters, ignore everyone else's noise

The Psychology of Creative Growth

  • Why the journey isn't a straight line from beginner to master
  • How to embrace "terrible" as a necessary phase
  • The difference between copying others and finding your voice


Key Quotes

"You can't become great without first embracing terrible.""Your confidence has outpaced your competence, creating a dangerous gap where overreach meets inadequate skill.""Be humble enough to swim as a small fish among giants — better that than flexing in a pond full of tadpoles thinking you're Jaws.""That tension you're feeling — between what you want to say and what you know how to do — that's not a problem to solve. That's where the good stuff lives."


This Week's Challenge

Make something you're not sure about. Not something you know will perform. Make something that's unfinished, too personal, a little uncomfortable. Then sit with it and ask yourself — what am I actually trying to say with this?

You don't have to post it. You don't have to show anyone. But make it. Because that's the muscle you need to build — the willingness to be terrible in service of something true.


Coming Up This Season

  • The psychology behind creative growth phases
  • Learning from masters vs. learning from peers
  • When gear becomes a creative crutch vs. a creative tool
  • Navigating burnout without losing your creative voice
  • Why "terrible" photographers often become the most authentic ones


About Patrick Fore

Patrick is a commercial photographer who shoots brands, portraits, and campaigns. He's also someone who spends an embarrassing amount of time questioning whether what he's making actually matters. Previously lead photographer at Taylor Guitars, Patrick has experienced both the creative highs and soul-crushing lows of working in the photography industry.


Resources Mentioned

  • Clubhouse (the pandemic-era audio app that started it all)
  • Jeff Lipsky (photographer whose versatility across genres inspired the original comment)
  • Dunning-Kruger Effect (the psychological phenomenon behind "Mount Stupid")


Connect


Credits

Music provided by and licensed through Artist.io
Episode Photo by Ümit Bulut | Unsplash

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every two weeks.

If this episode hit somewhere between doubt and inspiration, share it with a fellow creative who's out there trying to figure it out too. We're just getting started — and we're glad you found it.

Trailer22 Apr 202500:02:02

This is The Terrible Creative.

A show about what it actually costs to make things for a living. The tension between the privilege of doing work you love and the frustration of an industry that keeps moving the floor. The patterns, the irritants, and the internal questions creatives aren't supposed to ask in public.

Hosted by Patrick Fore, commercial photographer based in San Diego.

If your identity is tangled up in what you create, you're in the right place.

New episodes every Tuesday. Follow the show so you don't miss it.

Read the book: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book
Support the show: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support
Subscribe to Pub Notes (the newsletter): https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb
Find us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer/
Patrick on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patrickfore/

Podcast written, produced, and hosted by Patrick Fore Music licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions. Recorded from my garage in San Diego, California

Your Brain is the Biggest Dick - Photographers Can Be Dicks – Part 2 23 Apr 202500:21:34

In this raw and unflinching episode, Patrick explores the psychology behind creative self-doubt and why your inner critic might be the biggest obstacle to your growth. Drawing from neuroscience research and brutally honest personal stories, this episode tackles the uncomfortable truths about self-criticism that most creative podcasts won't touch.

Warning: This episode contains frank discussions about mental health, financial anxiety, and the psychological realities of creative work. It's designed for mature audiences who want real talk, not feel-good platitudes.


Key Topics Covered

The Neuroscience of Self-Sabotage

  • Why your brain is wired to focus on negativity (5:1 ratio)
  • How rumination hijacks your mental bandwidth
  • The evolution from dramatic self-torture to quiet resignation

The Economics of Self-Doubt

  • How class background affects creative confidence
  • Why self-doubt gets worse when money is tight
  • The hidden costs of financial insecurity on artistic judgment

Uncomfortable Truths About Creative Culture

  • Client enablement of perfectionism
  • The "natural talent" myth exposed
  • People-pleasing as disguised fear
  • Why suffering doesn't equal depth

Practical Damage Control

  • The 10-minute suffering limit technique
  • Evidence-based reality testing
  • How to separate creative concerns from financial anxiety
  • The 10-10-10 rule for perspective


Personal Stories Featured

  • The automotive campaign that Patrick assumed was a failure (spoiler: it wasn't)
  • Why he had to hire an editor to select his own portfolio images
  • The year-long assumption of client disappointment based on radio silence
  • The self-fulfilling prophecy of boundary issues and burnout


Research Referenced

  • Dr. Peter Grinspoon (Harvard Health): Rumination as "counterproductive brooding"
  • Dr. Manju Antil: The psychology of "mental masturbation"
  • Neuroscience findings: Amygdala processing speeds and negativity bias
  • Default mode network: How your brain rehearses failures during downtime


Quotes from This Episode

"Your inner critic isn't sharpening you. It's using you. It doesn't want better art. It wants blood."

"Sometimes we choose misery because it's familiar. Because if we fail while already hating ourselves, at least we saw it coming."

"The critic doesn't need to scream anymore. It just quietly assumes the worst, and you've stopped arguing with it."

"You're not short on skill. You're short on the courage to suck long enough to get good."


Episode Challenge

Pick a project you've been avoiding because it scares you. Set a timer for one hour and work on it without judgment. When the inner critic starts up, acknowledge it and keep moving. When the timer goes off, stop—no evaluation, no spiraling.

Bonus challenge: Reach out to a client who went radio silent after you delivered work. Ask how they liked it. You might be surprised by the answer.


Content Warnings

  • Frank discussions of mental health struggles
  • References to financial anxiety and class issues
  • Honest examination of self-destructive thought patterns
  • Brief mention of suicide (Kurt Cobain reference)

Resources Mentioned

  • Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (Patrick's book)
  • Harvard Health Publishing articles on rumination
  • Research on repetitive negative thinking and creativity


Who This Episode Is For

  • Photographers struggling with perfectionism and self-doubt
  • Creative professionals dealing with imposter syndrome
  • Anyone who's ever spent hours "fixing" work that was already good
  • People who want honest conversations about the psychological side of creative work


Who This Episode Is NOT For

  • Anyone looking for surface-level motivation or feel-good content
  • Listeners uncomfortable with discussions of mental health
  • People seeking traditional business or technical photography advice

Connect

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Mental health in creative industries matters, and these conversations save careers—and sometimes lives.

Website: http://terriblephotographer.com
Instagram: @terriblephotographer
Book: Lessons From a Terrible Photographerhttps://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book
Newsletter: Sign up for Field Notes and get access to "The Darkroom" — exclusive resources and extra content — https://www.terriblephotographer.com/darkroom-download


Credits

Music provided by and licensed through Artist.io
Episode Photo by David Matos | Unsplash

Note: This podcast is obviously not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're struggling with persistent negative thoughts or depression, please consult a qualified mental health professional.

No Secret Sauce: Just Show Up (How Careers Are Actually Built)24 Apr 202500:11:46

You’re not missing a magic lens. There’s no course, preset pack, or algorithm trick that’s secretly holding you back. The truth is less glamorous — but way more powerful.


In this episode, Patrick peels back the myth of overnight success and calls out the industry’s obsession with shortcuts. Through stories from world-class kitchens, overlooked jazz clubs, and forgotten film sets, he explores why consistency beats charisma — and how real careers are built, not handed out.


If you’ve ever wondered when your “break” is coming, this one’s for you.


What You’ll Hear

  1. Why the most successful creatives aren’t the flashiest
  2.  Five habits that actually move the needle (and none of them involve reels)
  3. The story of a chef who listened — and made a memory
  4. What it means to show up when no one’s watching
  5. How invisible work becomes your reputation


Creative Challenge

Audit your last 5 shoots. Did you…

  • Show up fully?
  • Solve problems?
  • Listen?
  • Bring kindness into the room?

No shame. Just an invitation to recommit. This isn’t about perfection. It’s about muscle memory.


Credits:
Episode Photo by Sangam Sharma | Unsplash

Field Notes is what you take home.

A weekly companion letter from Patrick: behind-the-scenes mess, creative prompts, and human reminders — all bullshit-free.

Join here

Dim, Not Done - Burnout, Breakdown, and the Slow Road Back01 May 202500:21:45

This one’s personal.


In this episode, Patrick shares the story of a full-blown burnout that ended behind a dumpster — and why it didn’t start there. We talk about what burnout really looks like (spoiler: it’s not just being tired), how the body reacts to prolonged stress, and how that quiet voice telling you you’ve “lost it” might just be your nervous system waving a white flag.


With insight from Dr. Michelle Hagel, a breakdown of chronic fight-or-flight, and a challenge for anyone teetering on the edge, this episode is for the creatives who feel dim — but aren’t done.


If you’ve been wondering why the spark is fading, or if you’ll ever feel like yourself again… this one’s for you.

Credits
Episode Photo by Caleb Wright | Unsplash


Subscribe to Field Notes

The podcast is the campfire, Field Notes is what you take home. Field Notes is the weekly email companion to this podcast, one part creative letter, one part behind-the-scenes mess, all bullshit-free.

Sign up here

Still Here - Why Resilience Is a Creative Act29 Apr 202500:16:23

This week’s episode isn’t about trends, trolls, or gear. It’s about something quieter — the part of you that refuses to give up, even when the work feels impossible.


We explore the idea of creative resistance, the myth of “falling behind,” and why showing up (even in small ways) is its own kind of creative power. There’s a story about trees, Biosphere 2, and why life’s “wind” might be shaping you more than you think.


We also talk about:

  • The reality of trying to make work while making rent.
  • How surviving is creative.
  • Why creative seasons matter (even the dormant ones).
  • Lessons from Toni Morrison, Gregory Heisler, and Joe McNally.

This one’s for anyone who’s tired, unsure, or just needs a reminder that still being here — still caring, still seeing — is enough.

Credits
Episode Photo by Claudio Schwarz  | Unsplash

Subscribe to Field Notes

The podcast is the campfire, Field Notes is what you take home. Field Notes is the weekly email companion to this podcast, one part creative letter, one part behind-the-scenes mess, all bullshit-free.

Sign up here

My Friend Hue - Seeing Color as Emotion, Language, and Power06 May 202500:25:05

this episode is a love letter to color. Not just as an aesthetic choice—but as psychology, science, culture, and storytelling.


We start with a fictional moment on a busy New York City street, then dive into a 5-minute crash course on color theory (Bill Nye style), unpack cultural associations across time and geography, and land on practical ways to use color intentionally in your work. Whether you’re new to photography or 10 years deep into your career, this episode will challenge you to see color not as decoration, but as direction.


You’ll also hear vintage narration clips from the 1998 documentary Light, Darkness and Colours. For more info, visit the Top Documentary Films page.


Plus: old-school science film voiceovers, an Ira Glass-style segue, and a dad joke buried in the ad break. You’re welcome.

Subscribe to Field Notes

The podcast is the campfire, Field Notes is what you take home. Field Notes is the weekly email companion to this podcast, one part creative letter, one part behind-the-scenes mess, all bullshit-free.

Sign up here


Creative Challenge:

Use Adobe Color to explore a single color palette. Build an entire image—or image series—around it. Let color drive your lighting, styling, and emotional arc.


Music Credit:

🎵 “Color” by Wesley Jensen & The Penny Arcade – used with permission via Musicbed.


Stay Connected:

Follow the new Instagram feed at @terriblephotographer

or visit www.terriblephotographer.com to join the newsletter and get the first chapter of the upcoming book.

Copy Machine - On Imitation, Identity, and Making Work That’s Actually Yours13 May 202500:28:45

We all start by imitating. That’s human. But somewhere along the line, many of us stopped making work we love — and started making work that just looks like it belongs to someone else.


In this episode, Patrick tells the strange, slightly heartbreaking story of Klarbinnax-7, an alien who crash-lands in California and becomes a crude copy of a workshop guru named Brad. Through this fictional tale (that’s not so fictional), we dive deep into the psychology of conformity, the cost of mimicry, and how to find your voice again when everything around you screams “just do it like them.”


If you’ve ever felt stuck making the kind of work that doesn’t feel like you, this one’s for you.


🎧 Topics Covered:

  • Why we follow, even when it costs us
  • How photography education became a billion-dollar industry
  • The subtle burnout of imitation
  • 3 practical steps to break the cycle and make weird, personal, unforgettable work again


🌀 Creative Challenge:

If you stopped caring what other photographers thought of your work—if you weren't trying to impress them, join their communities, or earn their validation—what would your photography actually look like?

Subscribe to Field Notes

The podcast is the campfire, Field Notes is what you take home. Field Notes is the weekly email companion to this podcast, one part creative letter, one part behind-the-scenes mess, all bullshit-free.

Sign up here


Not what your clients want. Not what the algorithm rewards. Not what workshops taught you. But what would you create if the only person you needed to please was yourself?


📩 Feedback or thoughts? Email Patrick: patrick@terriblephotographer.com

📸 Follow: @TerriblePhotographer


Insider/Outsider - Surviving the Creative Industry01 Jul 202500:32:04

What happens when you still love photography but start to wonder if there’s any place left for you in the industry?


In this raw, vulnerable episode, Patrick Fore gets brutally honest about what it means to be a working photographer in 2025. From a moment of personal crisis in a cluttered garage to the soul-draining grind of cold outreach and algorithm-chasing, this episode pulls back the curtain on the emotional and existential cost of staying in the game.


You’ll hear:

  • Why radical honesty might be the only antidote to creative burnout
  • The tension between art and commerce, and why it matters more than ever
  • A reflection on the dark side of the photography education economy
  • A personal story about hitting the wall, and choosing not to walk away
  • A deeper dive into the concept of Flow vs. Resistance, and how to find your way back to meaning in the chaos

Whether you’re a full-time freelancer, a weekend warrior, or someone questioning the whole damn thing, this episode isn’t about pretending. It’s about naming the mess, wrestling with it, and finding a way to keep going.


📬 Subscribe to Field Notes, the weekly companion to the podcast:

https://www.terriblephotographer.com


💬 Let’s connect:

Instagram @TerriblePhotographer

Newsletter: Field Notes (via Substack)

Book: Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (coming soon)
Email me - patrick@terriblephotographer.com


Credits:

This episode contains a referenced clip from “How to enter ‘flow state’ on command” by Steven Kotler for Big Think (Watch here) and a short excerpt (under 30 seconds) from Pixar’s Soul, used to illustrate the concept of creative flow.


Music provided by and licensed through Artlist.io.

Why Shapes How - On Intention, Execution, and the Lie of Objectivity24 Jun 202500:30:01

Episode Title:

Why Shapes How

On Intention, Execution, and the Lie of Objectivity


Description:

You can nail the lighting. Get the shot. Hit all the settings.

But if you don’t know why you’re making the image, it’s just visual noise.


In this episode of The Terrible Photographer Podcast, we dig into the lie at the heart of modern photography — that technical mastery is the pinnacle of the craft. It’s not. Intent is. And most people are scared of it.


We talk motorcycle maintenance, emotionally hollow images, and what happens when a “family photo session” turns into something that actually means something.


Whether you shoot portraits, weddings, branding, or weird experimental self-portraits at 2am with a desk lamp, this episode is a reminder: your camera doesn’t make meaning. You do.


Inside this episode:


  • Why so many photographers stop learning once they hit “base camp”
  • The family shoot example that reveals what intentional work really looks like
  • The myth of photographic objectivity — and why your perspective always leaks in
  • Why TikTok’s rough, real content hits harder than a polished campaign
  • What separates technically perfect images from the ones that actually stick


Want to go deeper?

Sign up for Field Notes — a free weekly email for photographers who want something more honest than gear reviews and Instagram hacks.

When you sign up, you’ll get the first chapter of my book Lessons From a Terrible Photographer — in PDF andaudio, delivered straight to your inbox.


👉 Get it at www.terriblephotographer.com


Credits:


  • Music licensed and used by permission through Artlist.io
  • Episode Art Photography by Earl Wilcox – shot in Santa Barbara.
Tear Gas & Pixels - What protest photography teaches us about truth, power, and not looking away.14 Jun 202500:30:47

This episode wasn’t planned.


But with federal troops deployed in Los Angeles, students arrested, immigrants targeted, and journalists silenced — it felt dishonest to pretend everything was normal.


In this special essay-style episode, I explore the role of photography in moments of protest and power:

  • Why the frame is never neutral
  • How truth is shaped, and sometimes distorted, by the camera
  • The difference between documenting and performing
  • What it means to be a witness, not a tourist

I also share a powerful on-the-ground reflection from LA-based photographer @chelsealaurenla, whose words remind us that not everything makes the news, but it still matters.


If you’ve ever questioned whether photography can change anything… this one’s for you.


Mentions & Resources:

Stay Connected:


Subscribe to Field Notes

The podcast is the campfire, Field Notes is what you take home. Field Notes is the weekly email companion to this podcast, one part creative letter, one part behind-the-scenes mess, all bullshit-free.

Sign up here


Learn more about the project at:

terriblephotographer.com


If this episode meant something to you, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

It helps more than you know.

The Revolt - Why Your Creative Rebellion is Failing10 Jun 202500:32:13

At some point, every artist has to choose:

Keep making work that gets likes.

Or make work that actually says something.


This is an episode about the quiet uprising.

The moment you stop painting for the academy.

The moment you realize you’re not burned out from doing too much,  you’re burned out from doing too much that means nothing.


We start with a true (and strange) story from 1863, when fourteen painters staged a creative rebellion and changed the art world forever.

And then we bring it back to you. To now.

To that feeling you get when you scroll your own grid and wonder if any of it matters.

If any of it’s even yours.


This is The Revolt.

Not with swords. With silence.

With risk.

With art that doesn’t beg for applause.


Subscribe to Field Notes

The podcast is the campfire, Field Notes is what you take home. Field Notes is the weekly email companion to this podcast, one part creative letter, one part behind-the-scenes mess, all bullshit-free.

Sign up here


📬 Join the conversation on Substack

We’re building a community of artists who are tired of the hustle and hungry for something real.

terriblephotographer.substack.com


🎧 Music licensed via Art List

Header photo stolen lovingly from Wikipedia. Don’t tell the Louvre.


🙏 Rate & Review

Currently stuck behind How to Build a Photography Empire in 6 Weeks and just above Lens Cap ASMR.

You can help change that.

Rate the show. Leave a review. Make the robots notice us.


The Silence - When the work goes quiet, what is it trying to say?03 Jun 202500:27:47

This week, I throw out the episode I was planning and respond to an email from Carri, a baby photographer from Michigan, whose words hit like a punch in the face. We’re talking about a different kind of burnout. Not from hustle, but from creative absence. From stillness. From not getting to do the thing you love.


This is for the photographers, and all creatives, who feel the slow ache when the work dries up, and the silence gets loud. If you’ve ever questioned your worth when the gigs disappeared, this one’s for you.


This Week’s Light Leak: “The Work I Would Love to Make”

Find one image, anywhere (Pinterest, a book, a magazine, Instagram), that captures the kind of work you wish you were making if you had no restraints. No budget. No client. No algorithm to please.

Then describe it. Not visually, use words. Mood, tone, feeling, intention.

The goal isn’t to recreate the image. It’s to tap into the honesty of what you want to say through your work—whether that scares you or not.

This is where we begin.


Subscribe to Field Notes

The podcast is the campfire, Field Notes is what you take home. Field Notes is the weekly email companion to this podcast, one part creative letter, one part behind-the-scenes mess, all bullshit-free.

Sign up here



👉 Sign up at terriblephotographer.com
Follow us on Instagram @terriblephotographer


 Mentions & Links:

Stinky Dead Mouse - Why most portfolios all look the same, and how to stop being everyone else.27 May 202500:27:35

You ever clean your entire house and still smell something rotting?

This episode is about that. Except the smell is coming from your portfolio.

In Episode 10, we’re talking creative decay — that slow, invisible rot that sets in when your work looks good but feels dead. From personal stories (including one involving a bathtub and a topless model reading Vogue) to a breakdown of the 60/40 Rule for survival, this is a brutally honest reflection on boredom, brand, and the danger of playing it safe for too long.

We dig into:

  • What happens when your “style” becomes a straitjacket
  • The illusion of consistency in the age of the algorithm
  • Why your safest work might be your most forgettable
  • How to cheat the system and make space for personal, reckless, real creative work
  • A dead rat story. Literally.

If you’ve ever looked at your own work and felt… nothing?
You’re not broken.
You’re just ready to break out.

Subscribe to Field Notes

The podcast is the campfire, Field Notes is what you take home. Field Notes is the weekly email companion to this podcast, one part creative letter, one part behind-the-scenes mess, all bullshit-free.

Sign up here


Special featured music in this episode:
“Born to Become” by Maya Johnson – licensed via Artist.io
Other theme music also licensed and provided by Artist.io

Pillow Talk - The emotional and economic toll of creative work.20 May 202500:28:39

Some nights, what keeps you up isn't anxiety,  it’s the quiet ache of misalignment. In this episode, we dive into the emotional and economic toll of creative work: the burnout, the spirals, the slow erosion of joy when your art becomes your paycheck. Patrick opens up about nearly quitting photography, the paradox of making a living off your creativity, and what it really means to protect your spark in a world that constantly demands more.

We explore Rick Rubin’s philosophy of creativity as a muscle,  not a resource to be drained, but a force to be nurtured. If you’ve ever felt the tension between your soul work and your client work, this one’s for you.

You’re not behind.
You’re just tired.
And that’s okay.

Credits
Episode Photo By Alexandra Gorn | Unsplash

Subscribe to Field Notes

The podcast is the campfire, Field Notes is what you take home. Field Notes is the weekly email companion to this podcast, one part creative letter, one part behind-the-scenes mess, all bullshit-free.

Sign up here


Featuring music by:
🎵 Jalowo – I Can’t Sleep feat. Michi
Music provided by Artist.io

Angry - A brutally honest episode about creative burnout, anger, and the choice to keep going.08 Jul 202500:25:33

Everyone loves a comeback story. But what about the part where you’re just… sitting in a garage at 2 a.m., surrounded by half-charged batteries, broken gear, and a growing sense that something inside you might be cracking?


This episode isn’t about triumph. It’s about that strange, quiet middle, the one nobody posts about, where you’re not broken, not healed… just angry. Angry at the industry. Angry at yourself. Angry at the space between who you are and who you thought you’d be by now.


But that anger? Maybe it’s not a problem to solve. Maybe it’s fuel.


Topics Include:

  • The weird middle space between burnout and breakthrough
  • How anger can be creative fuel—if you let it
  • Why “healing” and “finding joy” aren’t the point
  • The choice to keep working, even when the work feels pointless
  • Depression, resistance, and what it means to show up anyway

Opening Song:


“Demons” by The National
Used under license. All rights to 4AD Records and the artists.

Support the band at: americanmary.com

All other music provided by:

🎧 Artlist.io

Mentioned in the Episode:

  • A broken laptop stand
  • The hum of depression
  • That 2 a.m. garage air
  • The space where the butterfly might land

Subscribe to the Newsletter + Get the Free Download:

Want more of this kind of honest, no-BS creative conversation?

Subscribe to The Terrible Newsletter and get The Darkroom — a free digital download about making real work in dark seasons.

 terriblephotographer.com/thedarkroom

The Technician - When the identity you built starts to crumble, what do you build next?15 Jul 202500:31:18

"I thought the work would save me. I was grossly mistaken."

What happens when a stranger on Clubhouse calls you a technician instead of an artist? Patrick breaks down the brutal midnight conversation that cracked open everything he thought he knew about his photography career. From the golden handcuffs of corporate work to the humbling reality of freelancing for $650, this episode is about dismantling the fantasy of what creative success looks like.

No metaphors. No inspiration porn. Just the uncomfortable truth about technical skill versus authentic voice, and why sometimes the thing you think defines you is actually limiting you.


Part one of a two-part series on creative deconstruction and what comes after.


In this episode:

  • A photo campaign that felt more like forgery
  • The invisible shift from artist to technician
  • Why being trusted isn’t the same as being seen
  • The quiet way burnout creeps in
  • What I learned after walking away

Light Leak: A Creative Check-In

Are you being hired for your vision, or just your ability to mimic someone else’s?


Grab The Darkroom – a free guide to creative clarity and finding your artistic voice

 terriblephotographer.com/darkroom-download


Music licensed via Artlist.io


Audio excerpt from Conan O’Brien’s farewell message on The Tonight Show (2010). Used under fair use for commentary and inspiration. All rights belong to NBC/Universal.


Subscribe, support, or scream into the void at: terriblephotographer.com

Email me: patrick@terriblephotographer.com – I’m always interested to hear your thoughts, ideas, and read hate mail. I respond to every message.


Follow: @patrickfore & @terriblephotographer

The Light Hits Back - What if the worst thing for your art… is being seen?17 Jul 202500:17:29

What happens when the thing you made in the dark suddenly ends up in the spotlight? This week, Patrick gets personal about the strange pressure of being “featured,” and why attention might be the most creatively dangerous drug of all.


From a viral photo in the dunes to the slow collapse of chasing relevance, this episode dives into the algorithm’s indifference to honesty, the myth of momentum, and what Johnny Cash’s American Recordings can still teach us about making art that matters.


This is for the ones who still believe in disappearing. In pausing. In letting the light hit you… without immediately bottling it.


Includes a clip from “The Beast in Me” by Johnny Cash (used with reverence, not profit).

All other music licensed via Artist.io.

Episode photograph by Casey Horner — Instagram: @mischievous_penguins.

The Job I Hate The Least - Because photography isn’t about the photos. It’s about surviving the job.22 Jul 202500:42:37

There are shoots where everything clicks.

The light is magic. The client is chill. The work feels effortless.


This episode isn’t about those.


Instead, we’re going into the plumbing.


Literally.


From overflowing toilets in luxury villas to Fortune 500 invoice purgatory, from last-minute gear fails to moments that remind you why you ever picked up a camera in the first place — this one’s for every photographer (and creative) who’s quietly asked themselves:

“Wait… is this really the job?”

Turns out? It is.


But maybe that’s not a bad thing.


Because hidden under the chaos, the duct tape, and the missed payments…

there’s still something worth fighting for. And sometimes, the most honest thing you can say is:

“This is the job I hate the least.”

And maybe that’s the most romantic thing you’ll ever say about your career.


🧰 Mentioned in this episode:

  • Client disasters (featuring two Kyles, mushroom water, and sewage)
  • Scope creep and hostage negotiation skills
  • Invoice limbo with billion-dollar brands
  • A failed choir shoot and a thousand-dollar mistake
  • The shoot that broke your heart in the best way possible
  • Why the photos are just the receipt

📬 Stay connected


If this episode made you feel seen, stolen from, or slightly less alone—

subscribe to The Terrible Newsletter:

👉 terriblephotographer.com

You’ll get Field Notes, updates, and the occasional nudge to keep going.


🙏 Support the show


If you’re enjoying the podcast, please rate and review it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

It helps more misfit creatives find their way here.

And honestly, it just feels good to know someone’s listening.


Credits


Music in this episode is licensed through Epidemic Sound and Artlist.io.
Episode Photo by Gryffyn

The Wrong Target - When Freelance Invoices Go Unpaid, and Rage Takes the Mic29 Jul 202500:41:05

One phone call. One late invoice. One moment of controlled but very real rage. In this episode, I unpack a recent client conflict that left me feeling powerful, anxious, vindicated—and deeply uncomfortable. It’s not about being right. It’s about what happens when your nervous system hijacks your ethics, and you end up blowing up the wrong bridge.


Social psychologist Jamie Hughes joins to help me understand what the hell happened inside my brain—and how anger, justice, trauma, dopamine, and freelance stress all get tangled up when money’s tight and respect feels scarce.


It’s about accountability. It’s about empathy. It’s about not turning into the thing you’re fighting.

“You can’t cuss out the situation. So sometimes, we just need someone to unload our stress on.” — Jamie Hughes

Listen if you’ve ever:

  • Been ghosted by a client after delivering your best work.
  • Sent an email you were 90% sure you’d regret—but hit send anyway.
  • Felt the righteous, electric satisfaction of finally standing up for yourself… and then the quiet shame that followed.
  • Wondered why you get excited when you’re angry, even though your whole body is on fire.

Featuring:

  • The HPA axis and why your shoulders hurt when you’re mad
  • ADHD and justice sensitivity (why fairness feels life-or-death)
  • How financial pressure rewires your empathy
  • Why anger feels good… and why that should scare you
  • What empathy actually looks like when the system sucks
  • The guilt that follows a justified overreaction


Special Guest:


Jamie Hughes

Social Psychologist, Trauma Specialist, and Certified Life Coach

📲 @managing.mental.health

🔗 Website + Resources: beacons.ai/managing_mental_health



📩 Got a story?

If you’ve ever burned a bridge and still think about it in the shower five years later, I’d love to hear it.

Not to fix it. Not to absolve you. Just to witness it.

👉 Email: patrick@terriblephotographer.com



💬 Help Me Be Terrible, Together:

If this episode hit you, leave a review on Apple Podcasts. I’ll probably read it on air in the most awkward, self-deprecating way possible.

Music Licensed via Epidemic Sound and Artlist.io

Permission to Suck - Turning Failure Into Data05 Aug 202500:46:57

Every photographer needs permission to suck. And I mean that literally. In this episode, I explore the difference between accidental failure and strategic failure, and why that difference will determine whether you spend your career playing it safe or actually growing into the photographer you're meant to become.

From my own lighting disaster at a corporate shoot to Jerry Seinfeld's brutal honesty about audience judgment, we dive into how the greatest creatives use failure as a laboratory for growth. Learn why test shoots are your creative lifeline, how Roger Deakins broke convention to create cinematic magic in Skyfall, and why Ira Glass's famous "gap" between taste and ability is actually a feature, not a bug.


Key Topics Covered

  • The Anatomy of Avoidable Failure: Why I overcomplicated a simple lighting setup and what it taught me about scouting, team structure, and the control illusion
  • The Comedy Club Method: How comedians like Jerry Seinfeld test material in low-stakes environments and what photographers can learn from their approach
  • Strategic vs. Random Failure: The four pillars of testing that turn mistakes into data
  • Roger Deakins' Skyfall Innovation: How the master cinematographer used LED panels as primary lighting to create one of Bond's most iconic scenes
  • The Ira Glass Creative Gap: Why the distance between your taste and ability never fully closes—and why that's exactly what keeps you growing
  • Reframing Failure as Data: How to approach creative setbacks with scientific curiosity instead of personal inadequacy


Featured Audio Clips

  • Jerry Seinfeld - "The Best of Jerry Seinfeld" (Netflix Is A Joke): On the relationship between comedians and their audience
  • Ira Glass - On the creative gap between taste and ability (original clip source unknown)


Music Credits

  • Max Richter - "On The Nature of Daylight" (transitional music)
  • Additional music provided by The Blue Dot Sessions (used under The Blanket License)
  • Additional music provided by Epidemic Sound


Referenced Works & People

  • Roger Deakins - Cinematographer (Blade Runner 2049, No Country for Old Men, The Shawshank Redemption, Fargo, 1917, Skyfall)
  • Jerry Seinfeld - Comedian and creator of Seinfeld
  • Ira Glass - Host and creator of This American Life
  • Chris Rock - Comedian referenced for his methodical approach to material testing


Your Assignment

Schedule a test shoot this month. Not someday when you have more time or better gear, in the next 30 days. Pick one specific thing you want to explore:

  • One lighting technique you're curious about
  • One narrative approach you're afraid to try with clients
  • One stylistic choice that feels risky but intriguing

Write it down. Put it on your calendar. Treat it like the professional development it actually is. Give yourself permission to suck spectacularly—because bombing in private is how you learn to shine in public.


Connect With The Show

Leave a Voicemail: Share your own creative failures, test shoot discoveries, or questions about strategic experimentation at terriblephotographer.com/voicemail

Get Field Notes Newsletter: Weekly insights on creativity, identity, and finding your voice as a photographer. Sign up at terriblephotographer.com


Resources Mentioned

  • Test shoot planning and execution strategies
  • The four pillars of strategic failure framework
  • Environmental lighting philosophy and practical application
  • Creative audit questions for identifying growth opportunities
The Dangerous Creative - How Solving Problems Makes You Dangerous (Even If You're a Barista)12 Aug 202500:56:40

Sometimes creativity has fuck-all to do with your job title.

In this episode, Patrick explores why the most dangerous creative minds often don't call themselves artists—they're teachers buying classroom supplies with grocery money, middle managers translating executive gibberish into human language, and baristas solving problems that million-dollar consultants couldn't crack with PowerPoint.

Through the story of surgeon Atul Gawande's surgical checklist revolution, we examine how creative problem-solving becomes subversive when it works too well, threatening systems that profit from keeping things broken.

What You'll Learn:

  • Why pattern recognition plus intervention courage makes you dangerous to institutions
  • The three stages every dangerous creative goes through (and why most people stop at stage one)
  • How "strategically lazy" problem-solving threatens people who've built careers on complexity
  • Why your creative solutions face resistance even when they obviously work
  • The economic forces that fight back when you prove alternatives are possible

Featured Story: The tale of how a Harvard-trained surgeon nearly got blacklisted for suggesting doctors use a checklist—and how his "radical" idea of making sure surgical teams knew each other's names reduced complications by 35%.

This episode speaks directly to photographers, CEOs, therapists, teachers, stay-at-home moms, baristas, and anyone else solving problems that others ignore.

Atul Gawande TED Talk excerpt: "How do we heal medicine?"

Links:

Music: Licensed through Blue Dot Sessions

"Creative work that actually changes things doesn't feel like art. It feels like resistance."

Episode Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy - Follow his work on Instagram

We Work, Rome Burns - How to Keep Creating When Everything Feels Like It's Falling Apart19 Aug 202500:42:56

Community & Feedback

Take the Listener Survey: What kind of episodes do you want more of? Your feedback directly shapes future content. 🔗 Complete the survey here

Share Your Story: Have you experienced professional compartmentalization? The cognitive whiplash between personal crisis and work demands? Share your story—email or leave us a voicemail


What happens when you have to switch from consuming apocalyptic news to selling creative services in the span of 10 minutes? Patrick explores the cognitive whiplash we've all learned to navigate—that jarring ability to temporarily forget the world's chaos and focus on the work at hand. From photographing weddings while your own relationship crumbles to creating lifestyle campaigns while democracy feels fragile, this episode examines the emotional labor of compartmentalization and asks whether our growing skill at "professional forgetting" is survival mechanism or something more troubling.

Featuring insights from trauma researcher Bessel van der Kolk on collective trauma, plus permission-giving wisdom about maintaining joy and connection during uncertain times—not despite what's happening, but because of it.


What You'll Learn

  • How to navigate emotional whiplash between personal reality and professional demands
  • The three layers of reality creative professionals must hold simultaneously
  • Why compartmentalization isn't fake—it's selective authenticity
  • The psychological research behind collective trauma and why maintaining normal life is neurological necessity
  • Permission to laugh, celebrate, and live fully while staying aware of larger struggles
  • Practical frameworks for moving between realities without losing your humanity

Key Takeaways

"That's the rhythm now. That whiplash. The emotional split screen. It's been the soundtrack of the last few years."

"You have permission to laugh at dinner with friends while democracy feels fragile. You have permission to celebrate your small wins while staying aware of larger struggles."

"Every time you choose connection over isolation, joy over despair, presence over paralysis—you're saying no to the forces that profit from keeping people scared, disconnected, and unable to think clearly."


Episode Timestamps

  • [0:00] Cold Open: The Morning News Mistake
  • [2:15] Intro & Survey Results Discussion
  • [4:30] Act I: The Emotional Gear-Shift
  • [8:45] The Professional Face We All Wear
  • [12:20] Personal Stories: Cancer Diagnosis, BMW Client, Wedding Paradox
  • [18:10] Act II: The Compartmentalization Framework
  • [19:15] The Three-Layer Reality
  • [22:30] Selective Authenticity vs. Professional Performance
  • [26:45] Act III: The Strange Comfort of Craft
  • [28:00] Why Work Matters When Nothing Makes Sense
  • [31:20] NEW: The Permission to Keep Living (feat. van der Kolk research)
  • [35:10] Light Leak: Your Compartmentalization Audit
  • [38:45] Closing: The Choice Between Resistance and Surrender


Resources & References

Researchers & Thinkers Mentioned:

  • Bessel van der Kolk - The Body Keeps the Score, collective trauma research
  • Ram Dass - "Be here now," presence and consciousness teachings
  • Joseph Campbell - Hero's journey, mythological wisdom
  • Noam Chomsky - Systems analysis, intellectual self-defense

Audio Sources:

  • Brief clip from The Daily podcast (The New York Times) used under fair use
  • Music licensed through Blue Dot Sessions

For Creative Professionals

This episode applies whether you're:

  • Managing teams while dealing with personal stress
  • Teaching children while processing anxiety about the future
  • Providing healthcare while worried about systemic collapse
  • Creating art while navigating financial insecurity
  • Building a business while questioning larger systems

The pattern is universal: How do you show up fully for the work in front of you while carrying awareness of everything else happening?


Connect


Subscribe & Support

The Terrible Photographer Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. Subscribe for honest conversations about creativity, identity, and finding your voice.

In the Shadows- A creative deep dive into photography, shadow work, Carl Jung, and the emotional weight of what we avoid.26 Aug 202500:48:28

A podcaster recently told me this show was "really dark." So today, we're leaning into that darkness—because that seemed way more fun.

This episode is about shadow work. Not the Instagram version. The real version. The kind that happens when you realize the thing limiting your creative work isn't technical skill—it's the parts of yourself you've been hiding from.

Through David Bowie's near-destruction during his Thin White Duke era and his eventual disappearance to Berlin, we explore what it actually looks like to confront the buried parts of creative identity. Plus the story of a wedding photographer who missed the most important moment of the day—not because she wasn't skilled enough, but because she wasn't emotionally ready.

This isn't comfortable. It's not content-ready. But it might be exactly what your creative work needs to become whole.


In This Episode

The Australian Podcaster's Question - What happens when someone calls your work "really dark"

Bowie's Shadow Period - Los Angeles, 1975. Red peppers, milk, mountains of cocaine, and the creation of an "emotionless Aryan superman"

The Berlin Disappearance - How the world's biggest rock star chose to vanish and why that wasn't the failure—it was the beginning

Jung's Shadow Theory - The psychological framework that explains why we hide parts of ourselves (and how it shows up in creative work)

The Wedding Photographer's Dilemma - When professional distance becomes emotional cowardice

The Five Creative Shadow Territories - Where every creative person hides parts of themselves:

  • The Fear Shadow
  • The Identity Shadow
  • The Creative Shadow
  • The Power Shadow
  • The Authenticity Shadow

Personal Excavation - Why I hate shooting events (and what teenage depression has to do with adult creative limitations)

The Integration Process - Shadow dialogue, creative audits, and the difference between working around wounds versus working with them


Key Takeaways

  • The shadow isn't your enemy—it's your undeveloped creative self
  • What you avoid photographing reveals more than what you shoot
  • Professional distance can be emotional cowardice in disguise
  • Your creative limitations might be survival strategies from decades ago
  • Integration isn't about fixing yourself—it's about letting buried parts speak


Mentioned in This Episode

Carl Jung - Swiss psychoanalyst who developed shadow theory David Bowie - Particularly his Thin White Duke period (1975-1976) and Berlin years Carlos Alomar - Bowie's guitarist who observed his creative process during the shadow period


Community

Share your shadow work discoveries using #TerribleShadows

Don't share the polished answers—share the parts of you you're just beginning to reclaim.


Music Credits

"Heroes" by David Bowie (approximately 1 minute used) Additional music licensed through Blue Dot Sessions



If This Episode Hit You…

  • Leave a review on Apple Podcasts.
  • Share it with someone who hides behind the work.
  • Or drop me a note and tell me what question you can’t stop thinking about.

Follow the podcast

📸 terriblephotographer.com

📬 Subscribe to Field Notes (The Terrible Newsletter)

📷 Instagram: @terriblephotographer



A Note About This Episode

This episode deals with themes of depression, anxiety, and psychological shadow work. It's designed to be therapeutic rather than triggering, but please listen with care for your own mental health needs.

If you're doing this work and it brings up difficult emotions, consider speaking with a mental health professional who can provide proper support.

Stay haunted. Stay human. And yeah... stay terrible.

Is It Good? - Photography, Approval, and the Fight for Creative Truth02 Sep 202500:39:12

Every kid asks their art teacher, “Is it good?”—and most of us never stop. In this episode, Patrick sits in Lucy’s middle-school art room and realizes he’s still chasing the same answer on high-stakes sets: watching client faces, parsing murmurs behind a monitor, riding the narcotic of approval.


We get into the modern authorities—clients, algorithms, mood boards—and the way we internalize them until we’re grading ourselves before anyone else can. We talk Gordon Parks, who lived the tension between immaculate Vogue spreads (noble, beautiful, necessary) and dangerous truth-telling (American Gothic, segregation, Malcolm X). We bring in Tolstoy’s blunt metric for art—sincerity that transmits feeling—and then admit the hypocrisy of needing authority to say “ignore authority.”


Finally, we bring it home with practical footholds for working photographers and every other creative human: how to hold the tension between survival and legacy, how to make room for truth without burning down your life, and what it looks like to start small, local, and personal—today.


Chapter markers (suggested)

  • 00:00 — Cold open: the middle-school art room
  • 03:20 — “When did we stop trusting the thing that made us create?” (Harter, Amabile)
  • 06:10 — “How do we determine art’s value?” (the parent exchange)
  • 012:00 — Act 1: LED volume in L.A., approval as a drug
  • 17:41 — Act 2: Gordon Parks—safe vs. true, and why both matter
  • 25:46 — Act 3: The new authorities—clients, algorithms, and the gatekeeper in your head
  • 31:54 — Act 4: Returning to the first voice—practical ways to start
  • 36:105— Closing benediction: “F*ck good. Make something true.”

Key takeaways

  • Safe work isn’t the villain. It’s noble, beautiful, and necessary—it funds the life that makes true work possible.
  • Truth-telling is risky by nature. It may not pay, but it’s the only work that lasts.
  • Modern authority isn’t a red pen; it’s an algorithm—and the voice you internalized.
  • You don’t need Tolstoy’s, your teacher’s, or Patrick’s approval. They don’t know you.
  • Start where you are: one photo that feels like yours, even if no one ever sees it.

Practical prompts (do one this week)

  • Wedding shooter (Denver): deliver the must-haves—then make one photograph no one asked for that tells an unglamorous, honest truth from the day.
  • Parent (Dubuque): document the mess before you clean it. Title it. Date it. Keep it.
  • Teacher (Phoenix): photograph the moment a student finally gets it—or doesn’t.
  • Everyone: set aside 30 minutes for a “no-client walk.” One frame that’s yours.

Pull quotes

  • “Safe pays the bills. Truth leaves scars.”
  • “Good is the waiting-room soft pop of creativity.”
  • “Don’t confuse survival with legacy.”
  • “Stop chasing good. Make something true.”

References & shout-outs

  • Gordon ParksVogue fashion work and American Gothic (Ella Watson).
  • Leo Tolstoy, What Is Art? — art as sincere transmission of feeling.
  • Susan Harter — self-concept shift (ages ~7–8); external evaluation enters.
  • Teresa Amabile — external evaluation narrows creativity and originality.
  • LED volume productions mentioned: The Mandalorian, The Batman.
Note: contains explicit language.

New listener compass


New here? This isn’t “business hacks to win in 2025.” We go deep on the real life of making honest work while paying bills—sometimes deadly serious, sometimes ridiculous. Photographers, designers, teachers, parents—if you’re trying to lead a meaningful life, solve interesting problems, and make beautiful things, you’re in the right place. Try: Ep. 5 Still Here (hopeful), Ep. 19 The Job I Hate the Least (funny), Ep. 17 The Technician (identity & reinvention).


Credits

The Tyranny of Okay - Why Most Creative Work Is Just Work23 Sep 202500:43:24

What if the most radical thing you can say about your creative work is: it’s okay?


In this episode, Patrick dives into the beige middle of creative life — the 80% of days that aren’t fireworks or disasters. He tears into LinkedIn’s toxic lobster-and-champagne highlight reel, confesses his late-night burger-level Photoshop grinds, and introduces us to Sarah, a catering coordinator who redefined what “ordinary work” can mean.


Along the way you’ll hear:

  • Why “do what you love and you’ll never work a day” is weapons-grade bullshit
  • The LinkedIn Lobster Problem: how performative self-promotion makes our Tuesdays feel like failure
  • Sarah’s story — the quiet hero who showed Patrick what it means to find dignity in the ordinary
  • Stoic wisdom on work, meaning, and why you are more than your job
  • The burger vs. lobster framework for understanding creative life (and why burgers matter more than we admit)

This isn’t an episode about settling. It’s about survival, dignity, and gratitude for the work that keeps us human.


The tyranny was never that work is ordinary. The tyranny was believing ordinary wasn’t enough.


👉 Listen if: you’ve ever felt guilty for not loving every second of your “dream job,” or you’re tired of pretending passion is renewable.

👉 Stay for: a story that will make you grateful for the burger on your plate.


Resources & Mentions

  • Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
  • Epictetus & Marcus Aurelius, on the dignity of ordinary work
  • Simone Weil, on attention as generosity

Connect with Patrick

Credits

Permission to Quit - AI, burnout, and why photographers are leaving the industry16 Sep 202500:45:12

A New York–based commercial portrait photographer (big clients, covers, immaculate work) asked to talk. What came out wasn’t a portfolio review—it was a confession: he hasn’t made anything for himself in over a year, and he’s exhausted from performing passion he doesn’t feel. This episode is a permission slip for the photographers—and all creative workers—secretly pricing escape routes at 2 a.m. We talk about the unsaid epidemic of burnout, the grief under AI “efficiency,” and three practical permissions to help you stop performing and start feeling again. If you need someone to say it: you’re allowed to quit the version of creativity that’s killing you.


What you’ll hear

  • The “booked and blessed” performance vs. the honest reality of burnout
  • Why so many photographers feel like they’re always “rushing or dragging” (yes, that scene)
  • AI grief: mourning the death of mystery without romanticizing gatekeeping
  • Three permissions:
  1. Quit the job that killed the artist (without quitting art)
  2. Be mediocre while you remember why you started
  3. Create for yourself first
  • A one-week “Light Leak” experiment to rekindle curiosity—no audience allowed

Chapter guide

  • 00:00 — Cold Open: The Zoom call that said the quiet part out loud
  • 03:40 — Intro: Why honesty feels dangerous in our industry
  • 08:10 — Act I: The Unspoken Pandemic (burnout as a system problem)
  • 13:30 — Whiplash Clip: “Rushing or dragging?” (context + reflection)
  • 15:10 — Act II: AI Grief (loss of mystery, craft vs. club, why cracks matter)
  • 23:40 — Music Moment: Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” and the beauty in brokenness
  • 26:10 — Vivian Maier: Calling vs. career; imperfect images that breathe
  • 31:20 — Act III: The Three Permissions (with Campbell & practical frames)
  • 39:30 — Light Leak: The 7-day private-making experiment
  • 43:15 — Close: Choosing living over performing (and why the camera will wait)
Times are approximate—use them as chapters in your host.

The Light Leak (listener assignment)

For the next 7 days, make one thing a day that no one sees but you. No posting, no portfolio, no feedback. Just curiosity. If you want to break the rules publicly, tag #StayTerrible—but the real win is remembering what it feels like to make without an audience.


Pull quotes

  • “You can quit being a photographer without quitting photography.”
  • “Maybe your creative career needs to die so your creative voice can live.”
  • “We’re mourning the death of mystery—and that grief is real.”
  • “You were an artist before you had an audience. You still are.”

Resources & references

  • Whiplash (2014) — “Rushing or dragging?” rehearsal-room clip
  • Finding Vivian Maier (2013) — trailer & story
  • Johnny Cash — “Hurt” (cover of Nine Inch Nails)
  • Johnny Paycheck — “Take This Job and Shove It”
  • Joseph Campbell — ego death/transformation arc (Hero’s Journey themes)
  • Rick Rubin — strategic elimination (remove what doesn’t serve the truth)

Music & audio credit

  • “Take This Job and Shove It” — Johnny Paycheck (used ~60s after intro)
  • “Hurt” — Johnny Cash (used ~30s for commentary)
  • Film clip: “Rushing or Dragging” from Whiplash (brief excerpt for critique)
  • Trailer audio: Finding Vivian Maier (brief excerpt for commentary)
  • Additional music provided and licensed through Green Dot Sessions
  • All third-party audio remains the property of its respective rights holders; brief excerpts are used under fair use for commentary/critique.

Episode Photography by Filip Mroz | Unsplash

Who this episode is for

Commercial photographers, portrait shooters, freelancers, art directors, and any creative who’s tired of performing passion while running on empty—and needs permission to step off the treadmill without abandoning their voice.


Stay connected


If this hit a nerve, share it with one photographer who needs the permission too.

Newsletter & Field Notes: terriblephotographer.com

IG: @terriblephotographer@patrickfore

Business inquiries & notes: patrick@patrickfore.com

Pub Meditations - Six Meditations, One Pint: Notes on Survival, Shadows, and Light09 Sep 202500:35:54

One meditation. One burning question. One reminder you’re not alone. Every Wednesday in your inbox — shorter, sharper, and more honest than I could ever be in a long essay.

Subscribe to Pub Notes: terriblephotographer.com


Some days the world is too loud, too endless. You don’t need another lecture. You need a pint, a hard truth, and a line you can actually carry into tomorrow.


This week’s episode is an experiment I’m calling Pub Meditations — three acts, two meditations per act. Six in total. Each one pulled from the episodes that hit hardest this year, reimagined as something shorter, sharper, and closer to the way the Stoics wrote: notes to survive the day.


In the cold open, I borrow the first couple minutes from Ryan Holiday’s The Daily Stoic — a podcast I can’t recommend enough. Ryan’s voice is where I first realized Stoicism wasn’t about flatlining your emotions, it was about surviving chaos with your humanity intact. Go listen, subscribe, and keep a notebook handy.


What’s inside this episode:

  • Act I: Survival as strength training (Still Here · Dim, Not Done)
  • Act II: The inner fight (Your Brain Is the Biggest Dick · In the Shadows)
  • Act III: Defiance through beauty (The Light Hits Back · We Work, Rome Burns)

Line you carry: Survival. Shadows. Light. Beauty. The tools haven’t changed in two thousand years — keep it short, keep it sharp, keep it honest.


Credits

  • Excerpt from The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday — listen here
  • Music throughout by Green Dot Sessions
The Curator's Disease - The Cost of Turning Your Life Into Content02 Dec 202500:47:16

Belle Gibson faked cancer. The Stauffers rehomed their adopted son when the content became too difficult. Ruby Franke is currently sitting in a prison cell.

It’s easy to look at the monsters of the influencer economy and think, "I am nothing like them." But if you peel back the layers of how we document our own lives, the difference might be smaller than we’d like to admit.

In this episode, we dig into the "Curator's Disease"—the urge to professionalize our own existence. We look at how commercial production techniques have trickled down from ad agencies to our Saturday mornings, how we reverse-engineer our lives to fit a "Lululemon" aesthetic, and the exhausted reality of treating your family like supporting cast members.

We discuss the difference between capturing a beautiful moment and interrupting a life to manufacture one. It’s time to get out of the Director’s Chair.

In this episode:

  • The Monsters: Why the Ruby Franke and LaBrant Family stories aren't just isolated tragedies, but symptoms of a wider infection.
  • The Lululemon Brain Worm: How commercial "lifestyle" marketing taught us to fake our own weekends.
  • The Composite Client: Patrick breaks down a real commercial shoot to show how "authenticity" is manufactured in a conference room.
  • The Interruption: The critical difference between seeing beautiful light and forcing your kids to stand in it.
  • The Unpaid Internship: Why you’re exhausted from trying to hit commercial production standards on a home-video budget.

Connect with The Terrible Photographer:

Credits:

  • Music licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.
  • Episode Artwork licensed through Adobe Stock.
  • Written and Produced by Patrick Fore
Noise in the Shadows - When the Enemy is Competence25 Nov 202500:29:56

June 6, 1944. Robert Capa is wading through the freezing water of Omaha Beach. He captures the most important images of the 20th century, and technically, they are a disaster. They are blurry. They are grainy. They are imperfect. And that is exactly why they matter.

In this episode, Patrick explores the physics of light, the "hostage negotiation" of the exposure triangle, and why we are so terrified of grain. We look at how the market has colonized our vision, leading us to trade atmosphere for information and "safe" images for honest ones.

Most importantly, Patrick confesses to "art directing" his own daughter's childhood—prioritizing perfect light over real memories—and asks if it's possible to trade competence back for presence.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • The story of the "Magnificent Eleven" and Robert Capa’s D-Day photos.
  • The Physics of Light: Why the exposure triangle is a hostage situation.
  • Why ISO is like the volume knob on cheap speakers.
  • The "Cultural Clean": Why Instagram and modern cinema feel so flat.
  • A personal confession: Killing the moment to save the exposure.
  • Why "Denoise" is the enemy of the soul.

Support the Show: If you enjoy these ramblings, or if this episode made you feel slightly less guilty about your grainy photos, consider fueling the next one. You can buy me a coffee (or let's be honest, a beer) to help keep the mics on and the existential spirals coming.

Links & Resources:

Credits:

  • Episode Photo: Hulki Okan Tabak
  • Music: Blue Dot Sessions
  • Sound Effects: Epidemic Sound
The Sacred Mundane - Beating Hustle Culture, Escape Procrastination, and Focus Deeply30 Sep 202500:47:57

Have you ever had a day where you told yourself you were “busy”… but couldn’t actually remember what you did? I know I have. Hours lost to scrolling, inboxes, half-finished tasks — and somehow at the end of it, I’m exhausted but nothing’s really done.


In this episode of The Terrible Photographer Podcast, I go after the two liars in my head who keep me trapped in that fake middle ground:

  • Hustle Harry — the voice that shames you into guilt if you’re not grinding nonstop.
  • Lazy Laura — the voice that convinces you procrastination counts as rest.

Neither one delivers real work. Neither one delivers real rest. And both are lying to us.


Instead, I want to talk about presence — the kind my Border Collie, Loki, embodies every time he drops into that crouch and locks onto a tennis ball like it owes him money. Which leads to…


⏱️ The Light Leak (36:40): The Loki Method — a simple, one-task-at-a-time rebellion against hustle culture and procrastination. Full attention, sacred focus, and real rest are scheduled like it actually matters.


This episode is about rediscovering focus, dignity in the ordinary, and finding a way to work present instead of just working harder.


If you’ve ever felt stuck between fake productivity and fake rest, this one’s for you.


Music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Basics, Deconstructed - Good vs. Bad - If It Feels Safe, It's Dead20 Nov 202500:28:50

In 1863, the Paris Salon rejected Édouard Manet's The Luncheon on the Grass for being too messy, too flat, too "unfinished." Today, it's one of the most important paintings in art history. Meanwhile, the "perfect" paintings that won the medals? Nobody remembers them.

In this episode, we're deconstructing the biggest question photographers face: What makes a photo "good"? How do we measure it? Who decides? And why do we keep building portfolios that are technically perfect but emotionally dead?

This is the first episode in a new mid-week series called "Basics, Deconstructed" we take the elementary concepts of photography and tear them down until we find the bone.

In This Episode:

  • Why technical perfection is the enemy of art
  • The difference between "High Notes" (sharpness, perfect skin tones) and "Bass Notes" (the blur, the shadow, the grit)
  • What happened when an art buyer tore apart my "perfect" portfolio
  • How to stop shooting out of fear and start shooting out of soul
  • The hardest lesson: being shrewd enough to interrupt the performance

Key Quote:

"I don't hire photographers to be commercial. I hire technicians to be sharp. I hire photographers to make me feel something."

Contact & Support:

📧 Email: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
(Questions, thoughts, hate mail—I respond to everything.)

🎵 Music: epidemicsound.com

Support the show: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer

📬 Newsletter (Pub Notes): https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb

Still Terrible - A Confession About Fear, Failure, and the Middle of the Story18 Nov 202500:56:12

In this episode, I talk about the question that has been following me around like a stray dog with abandonment issues:


“What am I doing wrong?”


A late-night Zoom call.

A missed phone call that might have cost me a job.

Fabric mocking me at 2 AM.

Postponing Christmas.

Pretending patience is a virtue when really it’s just a financial liability.


This one is not a framework or a lesson.

It is a confession.

A pressure valve.

A look at the part of the creative journey nobody posts about because it is messy and embarrassing and makes you question whether you even belong in the room.


We get into:

  • Saying yes to work you should have said no to
  • Anxiety disguised as professionalism
  • The career panic nobody warns you about
  • The gap between what we preach and what we actually do
  • What our kids see when we are barely holding it together
  • The tension between craft, performance, and being human

If you have ever wondered whether you are behind, off-track, or quietly failing your way through your creative life, this episode is for you.


Music Provided by:

https://www.epidemicsound.com

Support the Show

If the podcast means something to you, or if it helps you feel a little less alone in this creative circus, you can support the show here:


https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support


Your support keeps the lights on, the episodes coming, and the midnight fabric-styling breakdowns to a minimum. Thank you for being part of this.

Bloody Knuckles - Let’s talk about A.I.10 Nov 202500:48:19

This is the episode I’ve been avoiding.


Not because I don’t have an opinion about AI — but because I have too many feelings about it. Gratitude. Fear. Anger. Wonder. All tangled together.


AI has become my external brain — a tool that helps me function, organize, even parent. And at the same time, it’s the thing that might end my career.


In this episode, I talk honestly about what Adobe’s new AI tools mean for photographers, artists, and the humans behind the craft. About the moment when “photo editing” turns into “people editing.” And about what we lose when images no longer require someone to be there — to see, to choose, to feel.


Because when everything becomes generated, the rarest thing left might just be the real.


This isn’t a tech breakdown. It’s a gut check.



In This Episode:


  • The paradox of AI as both accessibility and threat
  • Adobe’s new AI tools and what they mean for photographers
  • The difference between CGI in film and AI in photography
  • Consent, ethics, and the human line in image manipulation
  • The fear of becoming irrelevant — and the deeper truth underneath
  • Why the practice of photography still matters more than the product
  • How to reclaim your craft in the age of automation

Featured Voices:


A few members of The Terrible Community share how AI makes them feel — not what they think about it.

“AI is lazy… it’s not intelligent, it’s just reflecting us — all our bias, all our noise — and pretending it’s something new.”


Light Leak:


Go make something where the practice is the point.

Shoot something you’ll never post.

Feel the weight of the camera in your hand — that’s what real still feels like.


Because that’s the thing they can’t generate.

That’s the thing they can’t take from you.


Listen If You’ve Ever Thought:

  • “AI is helping me — and that scares me.”
  • “What’s the point of creating when machines can do it faster?”
  • “I’m grateful for this tech… and I hate that I’m grateful.”
  • “I miss when photography still felt like something.”

Credits:


Written & Narrated by: Patrick Fore

Produced by: The Terrible Photographer

Community Voicemails: Members of The Terrible List

Music & Sound Design: Blue Dot Sessions
Robots by Flight of the Concords (1-minute)


Connect:

Economic Dumpster Fire - Why the Creative Economy Split in Half (and How to Navigate It)04 Nov 202501:05:13

Episode 34 | November 2025

I was in my garage last Tuesday, shooting beef tallow. Yes, beef tallow—jarred cow fat with a marketing department. And while I'm adjusting highlights on solidified animal fat for the fourth time, I'm thinking: I used to shoot for Rolling Stone. What happened?

Then my friend Candice texted. An illustrator in St. Louis. I asked how business was going.

"Everything is a garbage fire out there."

And that's when I realized: we're both drowning. But for completely opposite reasons.

She doesn't have enough work. I have plenty of work—just the wrong work. And neither of us could shake the feeling that something bigger was happening.

So I dug into the data. Economic reports, central bank surveys, and consumer debt studies. And what I found explains why so many freelancers feel like they're either sprinting or sinking right now.

The economy didn't just slow down. It split in half.


What You'll Learn in This Episode:

The Three-Restaurant Economy

  • Why Restaurant Two (the middle market) closed and nobody told you
  • Where the money actually went (and who's still spending)
  • Why some creatives are drowning in commodity work while others have empty calendars

The Economic Data (Made Human)

  • The US service sector flatlined in September 2025 (ISM hit 50.0)
  • 37% of European businesses postponed investment plans
  • 84% of people with credit card debt are cutting non-essentials
  • The top 20% now account for two-thirds of all consumption

What to Actually Do Tomorrow

  • How to audit your clients into three categories (A, B, C)
  • Three questions to ask yourself this week
  • The 80/20 split that keeps you sane
  • Where to find recession-resistant work (even if it's unglamorous)

Why Craft Still Matters

  • What my daughter Lucy's drawings taught me about showing up
  • My brother Charlie's legacy (and why it has nothing to do with accolades)
  • Why being strategic doesn't mean becoming cynical

Timestamps:

00:00 - Cold Open: Beef Tallow in My Garage
08:45 - The Text Message That Changed Everything
12:30 - The Three-Restaurant Economy (The Metaphor)
18:20 - The Economic Data: What Actually Happened
26:15 - Why We're Both Drowning
31:40 - Where the Money Actually Is (Three Specific Markets)
38:50 - What to Actually Do Tomorrow (Tactical Actions)
48:20 - The Productivity Lie (And the Stoic Response)
53:10 - The Shadow Question (What Are You Actually Ashamed Of?)
58:30 - Why This Still Matters (Lucy, Charlie, and Showing Up)
01:06:45 - Outro


Key Takeaways:

  1. The middle market collapsed. The clients with mid-tier budgets who valued creative work—many of them can't access credit or have cut discretionary spending. That's not a personal failure. That's structural economics.
  2. You're either at Restaurant One or Restaurant Three. Commodity work (fast and cheap) or luxury/corporate work (selective and high-end). Restaurant Two is closed.
  3. Three sectors are still hiring aggressively: IT (35%), Finance/Real Estate (32%), Healthcare/Life Sciences (28%). Target them.
  4. The 80/20 rule saves your sanity: 80% of your energy goes to work that pays bills. 20% goes to work that feeds your soul. Stop trying to make every project be both.
  5. Craft matters, even when the client doesn't. Showing up with integrity to unsexy work isn't settling. It's professionalism. And it's what keeps you in the game.

Resources Mentioned:

Economic Data Sources:

  • ISM Services Index (September 2025)
  • European Central Bank Credit Standards Survey (Q3 2025)
  • Consumer Debt Studies (2025)

Strategic Frameworks:

  • Marcus Aurelius on control (Meditations)
  • The 80/20 split for creative sustainability
  • Three-category client audit (A/B/C framework)

What's Next:

If this episode resonated with you, text a fellow creative and ask them: "How are you? Really?" Because the loneliest part of this moment isn't the struggle—it's the belief that you're the only one struggling.

And if you want to talk more about navigating the bifurcated creative economy, hit me up on Instagram @patrickfore or email me at patrick@terriblephotographer.com

The garbage fire is real. But so are we.


About The Terrible Photographer Podcast:

This is a show for creative humans navigating the messy reality of making work that matters while also paying rent. We talk about identity, craft, failure, and the absurdity of the creative industry—with radical honesty and zero bullshit.

If you're tired of toxic positivity and gear reviews, you're in the right place.

More Episodes: http://terriblephotographer.com
Book: Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (coming Dec 2025)


Credits:

Hosted, Written, and Produced by: Patrick Fore
Music: Epidemic Sound
Recorded in: San Diego, California

Support the show: If this episode helped you, the best thing you can do is share it with another creative who needs to hear it. Word of mouth keeps this show alive.

Yeah, Maybe - Why Some People Kill Your Ideas (And How to Protect Them)28 Oct 202500:54:45

Have you ever shared something you were excited about only to have it met with "yeah, maybe" or "how are you going to monetize that?"

In this episode, I sit down with a story that's been eating at me for weeks — a conversation at a coffee shop that revealed something uncomfortable about regret, haunted creatives, and the ghosts of unmade work.

This isn't about toxic positivity or hustle culture. It's about understanding the difference between someone who's tired and someone who's haunted. Between love and regret. Between the people who will protect your ideas and the ones who will kill them — often without realizing it.

And if I'm honest, it's about recognizing when we become those people ourselves.


In This Episode

The Coffee Shop Moment A conversation with a photographer friend that starts with excitement and ends with something closer to mourning.

The Difference Between Tired and Haunted Why some people poke holes in your ideas — and it has nothing to do with you.

Three Faces of Haunting

  • The perfectionist paralyzed by an impossible vision
  • The silent avoider who pretends not to see your success
  • The one with all the resources who just... doesn't

The Idea Graveyard My own confession: the photo essay about my hometown that will never exist, and what it taught me about shelf life.

Love vs. Regret How my wife Jaimi saved me from launching a business I didn't actually want — and how to tell the difference between questions that protect you and questions that undermine you.

The Physics of Regret How other people's ghosts create friction that converts your creative momentum into heat, defensiveness, and eventual paralysis.

Protecting Your Butterflies Practical strategies for guarding your ideas and building a "Go" list instead of a "Know" list.


Key Takeaways

  • Ideas have a life of their own — and a shelf life. They don't wait for you to be ready.
  • "Yeah, maybe" is the sound of a butterfly dying.
  • Tired people say, "I'm exhausted, but that sounds amazing." Haunted people poke holes.
  • The dream can become the cage — perfectionism is just another form of paralysis.
  • Friction is cumulative: each skeptical question converts your creative energy into defensive heat.
  • Most haunted people aren't villains. They're good people carrying ghosts.
  • The only thing worse than starting something and failing is not starting something at all.


Quotable Moments

"He wasn't trying to kill my idea. He was mourning his own."

"When your idea gets that big, that expensive, that unreachable — it becomes a shield. The dream has become the cage."

"Ideas have a shelf life. They start fresh, urgent, necessary. Leave them too long, they spoil."

"Haunted people ask questions to protect themselves. People who love you ask questions to protect you."

"Friction converts kinetic energy into heat. Your momentum gets converted into defensiveness. Your creative energy burns off as anxiety."

"The only thing worse than starting something and failing... is not starting something at all." — Seth Godin

"You can't hitch your momentum to parked cars."


The Light Leak Assignment

Make two lists:

List One: The Haunted People who respond to your excitement with skepticism, apathy, or "yeah, maybe." They don't get access to your butterflies.

List Two: The Builders The ones who finish, ship, say "fuck yes," and offer help instead of obstacles. These are your people.

Stop pitching to List One. Guard your butterflies. Feed them only to people who still believe they're real.


Concepts Explored:

  • Friction (physics)
  • Ideas as living things with shelf lives
  • Haunted vs. tired creatives
  • The "Go" list vs. "Know" list

Quote: "The only thing worse than starting something and failing... is not starting something at all." — Seth Godin


Connect With Patrick

Website: patrickfore.com

Instagram: @patrickfore

Podcast: The Terrible Photographer

Book: Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (coming soon)


Credits

Host & Producer: Patrick Fore

Episode Photography: Amy Humphries Find Amy on Instagram: @amyjoyhumphries

Music Licensed Through:

  • Epidemic Sound
  • Blue Dot Sessions

Support The Show

If this episode resonated with you, here's how you can help:

  • Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps other people find the show
  • Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it
  • Subscribe so you don't miss future episodes
  • Send me a DM on Instagram and tell me which list you're on

A Note From Patrick

This episode has been living in my head for weeks. The coffee shop conversation happened months ago, but it took me this long to understand what it was really about.

I hope this gives you permission to protect your ideas. To say "fuck yes" to butterflies when they land on your shoulder. And to stop asking permission from people who stopped saying yes a long time ago.

Thanks for being here.

Until next Tuesday — stay curious, stay courageous, and yeah, stay terrible.

— Patrick

The Terrible Photographer is a podcast for creative humans navigating the messy reality of making work that matters. We don't do hustle culture. We don't do toxic positivity. We do honest conversations about creativity, identity, and finding your voice.

Gold Star - Why Artists Keep Chasing Validation and How to Find Meaning Without the Awards21 Oct 202500:55:48

You ever buy a twenty-two-dollar airport sandwich and convinced yourself it was worth it?

That’s what this week’s episode is about — except the sandwich is a photography competition.


In Gold Star, Patrick unpacks his love-hate relationship with the American Photographic Artists’ Untitled competition — and what it reveals about the creative world’s obsession with approval. From spreadsheets of judges to award-show absurdities like the Oscars and Grammys, this episode digs into why artists still crave validation from systems they don’t even believe in.


It’s funny, frustrated, and a little too honest — a meditation on why we keep chasing the gold stars that will never love us back.

Featuring a clip from Jim Carrey’s Golden Globes speech, a story about Patrick’s first Houston Addy Award, and a Light Leak that challenges you to make something that doesn’t need anyone’s permission to exist.


You’ll hear about:

  • Why creative competitions feel like overpriced validation
  • The psychology of approval and the decay of validation
  • What Jim Carrey can teach us about artistic hunger
  • How to stop mistaking opportunity for illusion
  • Why the real reward is the right to keep doing the work

Mentioned in this episode:

  • American Photographic Artists (APA Untitled Competition)
  • Jim Carrey’s 2016 Golden Globes speech
  • The Addy Awards (American Advertising Federation)
  • Rick Rubin, Diane Arbus, Van Gogh, Tom Sachs

Light Leak: The Paradox of the Work

What if you stopped making work for judges, algorithms, and invisible audiences — and started making the thing that’s too honest to explain?

The Cage - Three Invisible Prisons That Keep Creatives Small14 Oct 202501:09:32

Why creatives stay stuck, even when the door’s wide open.


We all want freedom. Creative freedom, emotional freedom, professional freedom. But here’s the thing nobody tells you:

You can be free… and still live like you’re caged.


In this episode, I break down the three invisible cages every creative person ends up pacing:

  • The Industry Cage – tribes, gear cults, status games, and the performance of “real” photographer-ness
  • The Creative Cage – safety disguised as style, repetition disguised as voice, consistency as comfort
  • The Personal Cage – the scariest one of all: the refusal to put yourself in the work

It starts with a pacing lioness in San Diego, makes a detour through childhood Masonic mystery, and ends in a gallery in LA with a man named Jesse and a story I still can’t shake.


If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own success, your style, your niche, or your silence… this one’s for you.


Light Leak Assignment:


Choose your cage.

Take one honest step outside it.

Before the week ends.

No excuses.


Listen if you’ve ever said:

  • “I feel like I’m just doing the same thing over and over.”
  • “I’m scared to change because I finally found something that works.”
  • “I don’t know how to put myself in my work.”

Support the Show:


This show is 100% listener-supported, which means I’m not selling presets, funnel hacks, or “ten ways to make six figures with your camera.”

But if the episode made you feel something — if it helped you name the cage — I’d love your support.


👉 terriblephotographer.com/support


Three amazing humans have already joined. Be the fourth. Let’s get weird and honest together.


Episode Topics:

  • Cult psychology and the photo industry
  • The seduction of gear tribes and online identity
  • Why consistency might be killing your creativity
  • What we’re really afraid of when we avoid vulnerability
  • The lioness who still walks her old cage
  • What Jesse taught me in a room full of polite creatives

🔗 Other Mentions:

  • Episode 28: The Tyranny of Okay – Why Most Creative Work is Just work (I actually listed this as Episode 27 in the episode, but it's Episode 28)
  • Terror, Love, and Brainwashing by Alexandra Stein
  • The Boxcar Children (yes, really)
  • The real cost of not evolving


Stay curious. Stay courageous. And yeah… stay terrible.

Dirty Little Secrets - 8 Secrets Photographers Never Admit 07 Oct 202501:10:53

A milestone. And maybe the most uncomfortable episode I've made so far.

A few weeks ago, I sent an email to thirty photographers I know. I asked them one question: What's your dirty little secret? The thing you'd never admit publicly. The thought that lives in the back of your brain at 3 AM.

I told them it would be anonymous. I just wanted the truth.

And I got a lot of responses.

This episode is about those secrets. The ones we carry alone. The ones that make us feel like frauds, or failures, or like we've made a massive mistake.

Some of these might be mine. I'm not telling you which ones.

But they're all real. And if you've thought any of them, you're not alone.


The Eight Secrets

  1. The Gatekeeping - "I resent [X] photographers and think I'm better than them."
  2. The Copycat - "I don't know how to make anything original."
  3. The Performance - "I'm not as busy as I make it look."
  4. The House of Cards - "I'm one accident away from losing everything."
  5. The Golden Handcuffs - "I would walk away if I could afford it."
  6. The Minimum Effort - "I'm just trying to get the work out the door."
  7. The Burnout - "I don't care about photography anymore."
  8. The Long Game - "I'm terrified I won't be able to retire."

Mentioned in This Episode

Leslie's Podcast: Niche to Meet You
A great show about finding your creative lane. Check it out.


Support The Show

This show costs money to make—hosting fees, software, time. If you're getting value from it and want to help keep it going, you can support the show here:

terriblephotographer.com/support

The show's free. It's staying free. But if you want to chip in, I appreciate it.


Stay Connected

📸 Instagram: @terriblephotographer
📧 Newsletter: Subscribe to PubNotes
🌐 Website: terriblephotographer.com


Credits

Music:

Hosted, Written, and Produced by: Patrick Fore


Your Turn

Write down one secret. One thing you've never said out loud. Not for Instagram. Not for anyone else. Just for you.

Take it out of the dark and look at it in the light.

You don't have to solve it. You just have to stop pretending it's not there.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with another creative who needs to hear it. And if you want to support the show, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more than you know.

The Long Middle - Part 1 - The Island - Why Mastery Is Lonely09 Dec 202500:34:23

In January 2007, Joshua Bell—one of the world's best violinists—played a $3.5 million Stradivarius in a Washington D.C. subway station. Over 1,000 people walked past. Only 7 stopped to listen. He made $32.

If you've ever felt like you're playing your heart out while everyone walks past... this episode is for you.

This is Part 1 of a 4-part series called "The Long Middle"—about that specific season in a creative life where you've mastered the skills, built the business, done everything "right"... but something still feels off.

Today's episode is about the loneliness that comes with expertise. The isolation that happens when you get really good at something and realize fewer and fewer people can see what you're actually doing.

You're not broken. You're not ungrateful. You're not alone.

You're just operating at a level where most people can't witness the craft.


IN THIS EPISODE

The Joshua Bell Experiment
Why one of the world's greatest violinists was invisible in a subway station—and what that tells us about creative loneliness.

Sarah's Email
A successful wedding photographer who's "disappearing into the work" despite doing everything right. Her story will sound familiar.

The Loneliness of Mastery
The higher you climb in your craft, the lonelier it gets. Not because you're failing—because fewer people can see what you're actually doing.

Three Types of Loneliness

  • Unintentional Loneliness (physical isolation)
  • Deliberate Loneliness (choosing not to explain yourself)
  • Experiential Loneliness (surrounded by people who don't speak your language)

The Taylor Guitars Story
How shooting a spray robot in a hazmat suit taught me what it feels like to be invisible at the level of expertise.

Gratitude as a Weapon
The difference between genuine gratitude and obligatory gratitude—and why "you should be grateful" has become one of the most damaging phrases in the creative industry.

The Research
Studies on senior executives, designers, and creative professionals all point to the same truth: expertise is isolating. It's documented. It's real. You're not crazy.

Witnessed vs. Consumed
The difference between 10,000 likes and one person who asks, "How did you do that?"

Rivers vs. Pools
Why fast-moving communities (Discord, social media) provide stimulation but not transformation—and what we need instead.


KEY CONCEPTS & FRAMEWORKS

  • Experiential Isolation at the Level of Expertise – The loneliness that comes from operating at a level where fewer people can understand what you're doing
  • The Seven People Who Stopped – You don't need a thousand people. You need the few who can actually witness the craft.
  • Counterfeit Connection – Why engagement rates and subscriber counts feel like food but provide zero nutrition
  • The Pool (vs. The River) – Slow, still, deep spaces where you can see your own reflection vs. fast-moving noise


RESEARCH MENTIONED

  • "Lonely at the Top" study on senior executives (2018)
  • Adobe user research – 60% of designers feel misunderstood by non-creative colleagues
  • Three Types of Loneliness framework – Psychological research (University of Chicago)
  • The Washington Post Joshua Bell experiment (2007)


QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

"Gratitude is for gifts. It is not for labor. You don't have to be 'grateful' that the business you built with your own sweat is working."


"The higher you climb, the lonelier it gets. Not because you're broken. But because there are simply fewer people at that altitude."


"You can get 10,000 likes on a photo and still feel completely invisible. Because those people aren't witnessing you. They're consuming content."


"When you're in the Neutral Zone, you don't need a fast-moving river. You need a Still Pool."


"Sarah isn't failing. She's not depressed. She's just alone at the level she's operating."

WHAT'S NEXT

This is Part 1 of a 4-part series called "The Long Middle." Over the next three weeks, we'll explore:

  • Episode 41: How to recognize your people (and why creative friendship is so hard)
  • Episode 42: How to build community without losing your soul
  • Episode 43: What The Pool actually looks like when it works

If you're Joshua Bell in the subway right now—if you're doing your best work and feeling completely invisible—email me. Tell me about the work nobody sees.


BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT

Lessons From A Terrible Photographer is now available as a Limited Collector's Box ($69.99).

Includes:

  • Signed hardcover book
  • Signed photo print
  • Field Notes notebook
  • Hand-typed letter on my 1920s Corona typewriter
  • Access to audiobook & ebook (when released)
  • Stickers

Standard hardback coming January 2026.

Get yours: terriblephotographer.com


CONNECT

Email: podcast@terriblephotographer.com
I respond to everything. Seriously. Tell me what bar you just let go of. Tell me about the work nobody sees.

Website: terriblephotographer.com

Instagram: @terriblephotographer


CREDITS

Music in this episode from Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.

Episode photography provided by Benjamin Behre / Unsplash

Written, Recorded, Produced & Edited by me, Patrick Fore.


EPISODE STATS

Episode: 40
Series: The Long Middle (Part 1 of 4)
Runtime: ~35 minutes


TAGS

#CreativeLoneliness #PhotographyPodcast #CreativeEntrepreneur #MasteryAndIsolation #CreativeCommunity #TheTerriblePhotographer #JoshuaBell #WitnessedNotConsumed #ExpertiseIsolation #CommercialPhotography #CreativeLife #LongMiddle #ThePool


LISTENER SUPPORT

If this episode resonated with you, the best way to support the show is to:

  1. Share it with one person who needs to hear this
  2. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify
  3. Email me your story—I read everything

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© 2025 The Terrible Photographer Podcast. All rights reserved.

Heresies - The Corpse - How Instagram Trained Photographers to Be Perfect, Then Called It Boring10 Feb 202600:55:01

I posted a question on Threads: "Where are you posting your images these days?"

The answers were scattered. Glass. Grainery. Pixelfed. Substack. Flickr, somehow. Very few said Instagram.

There is no home anymore.

Instagram was built by photographers, for photographers. Square format mimicking film. Filters mimicking darkroom techniques. A grid layout that functioned as a digital portfolio. For a while, it worked. Photographers got discovered. Built followings. Landed clients. Built careers.

Then Instagram decided it wasn't a photo-sharing app anymore.

They killed the chronological feed. Launched Reels. Made still images functionally invisible. And on December 31st, 2025, Adam Mosseri—Instagram's head—posted an essay saying that professional photography is "cheap to produce and boring to consume." That camera companies are "betting on the wrong aesthetic." That savvy creators need to make "explicitly unproduced and unflattering" images to prove they're human.

We spent a decade mastering the Instagram aesthetic—sharp, well-lit, technically perfect. And Instagram just told us that aesthetic is wrong.

This episode is about what Instagram took from photographers. Not just reach or engagement, but livelihoods. Wedding photographers, family shooters, local portrait specialists—thousands of professionals built their entire client pipelines on Instagram. And Instagram was always a time bomb.

Tomorrow was never promised. But when tomorrow was working, it was easy to forget that.

This is the third heresy in the series. We've talked about camera companies that profit from inadequacy, and gear influencers who monetize it. This one's about the platform that promised to connect us—and ended up destroying the very thing it was built for.


IN THIS EPISODE

The Origin Story
How Instagram launched in 2010 as a platform literally designed for photographers—square format, darkroom-style filters, grid portfolios—and became the industry standard for discovery and client acquisition.

The Shift
The timeline: 2016 algorithmic feed, 2018 IGTV failure, 2020 Reels launch, 2021 "we are no longer a photo-sharing app," 2022-2024 still images lose 70-90% reach, 2025-2026 functional death of static posts.

Was It Ever Good?
The uncomfortable questions: Were you shooting for your portfolio or paying rent to the platform? Did Instagram help you find your voice, or teach you to optimize for performance? How we outsourced artistic intuition to an algorithm and edited our souls in real-time.

The Mosseri Revelation
December 31st, 2025: Instagram's head posts "Authenticity after abundance," calling professional photography "cheap to produce and boring to consume," saying camera companies are "betting on the wrong aesthetic," and telling creators to make "explicitly unproduced and unflattering" images. How Instagram trained photographers for a decade, then punished them for doing exactly what they were trained to do.

The Economic Trap
How wedding photographers, family photographers, and local B2C photographers built their entire businesses on Instagram client acquisition. How they're now trapped—can't leave (invisibility = no work), can't stay on old terms (algorithm killed reach), forced to adapt or die. Tomorrow was never promised.

The Scattering
Where photographers went after Instagram died for still images. The fragmented landscape of Glass, Grainery, Pixelfed, Substack, Flickr. Why none of them will replace Instagram. Why photography communities only work at scale. The destroyed center of gravity.

The Bellingham Confession
How Instagram's competitive energy pushed Patrick and his photographer crew to shoot more. Weekend photo walks. Friendly competition. The gamification that created work. And what happened when that fuel disappeared. The question: If you only shot because Instagram rewarded it, were you ever really a photographer?

What We Lost (And Should Be Glad to Lose)
Reach, discoverability, community, motivation, income. But also: the content treadmill, algorithmic optimization, the 1.2-second attention economy, outsourced judgment, rented land.

The Autopsy
How Instagram turned craft into content, replaced judgment with metrics, created artificial urgency, commodified images, made reach the primary goal. Why Instagram didn't kill photography by pivoting to video—it was killing photography the whole time.

The Mirror
Patrick's complicity. How he built his following on Instagram, got work from it, but also shot things he didn't care about because they'd perform. Checked metrics more than work. Felt anxiety about posting more than excitement about making. What did the reach cost?

The Ending
Patrick stopped posting three weeks ago. Shot more last month than all year. A hard drive full of work nobody's seen. Building on land he owns: website, email list, physical prints, client relationships. Not measuring work by double-taps. Not adding fake grain to prove he's human. The platform is dying. Maybe photography can live again.


KEY QUOTES

"We edited our souls in real-time to match the preferences of a faceless audience we couldn't see and didn't know."

"You weren't shooting for your portfolio. You were shooting to pay rent to the platform."

"Tomorrow was never promised. But when tomorrow was working, it was easy to forget that."

"Instagram didn't kill photography by pivoting to video. Instagram was killing photography the whole time. We just didn't notice because we were too busy getting likes."

"If Instagram disappeared tomorrow, would you still be a photographer? Not 'would you have a way to show your work' but 'would you still MAKE work?'"

"That's not a portfolio. That's a content treadmill. That's sharecropping."

"Instagram turned photography into a commodity of 1.2 seconds."

"If your only reason to shoot was Instagram, you were building on quicksand."

"They can't leave. Because leaving means clients stop finding them. But they can't stay on the old terms either. Because the old terms don't work anymore."

"The platform is dying. Maybe that means photography can live again."


REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE

Adam Mosseri - "Authenticity after abundance" (Threads, December 31, 2025)
Full essay where Instagram's head states that professional photography is "cheap to produce and boring to consume," that camera companies are "betting on the wrong aesthetic," and that "savvy creators are going to lean into explicitly unproduced and unflattering images of themselves."

Key quotes from Mosseri's post:

  • "Just as AI makes polish cheap, phone cameras have made professional-looking imagery ubiquitous—both trends cheapen the aesthetic."
  • "Flattering imagery is cheap to produce and boring to consume."
  • "Savvy creators are going to lean into explicitly unproduced and unflattering images of themselves. In a world where everything can be perfected, imperfection becomes a signal. Rawness isn't just aesthetic preference anymore—it's proof. It's defensive."
  • "That feed is dead." (Referring to Instagram's square photo feed)
  • "authenticity is becoming infinitely reproducible"

Alternative Platforms Mentioned:

Heresies - The Oracle - Why Photography Influencers Are Modern Televangelists03 Feb 202601:06:59

It's 3 AM. You're scrolling through infomercials. A televangelist is selling "Miracle Spring Water" for $50—promising financial breakthroughs, healing, transformation. All you have to do is send money and believe.

Fast forward to 2026. A YouTube thumbnail: "This CAMERA changed EVERYTHING 📷🔥" Description: "Amazon affiliate links below."

Same hustle. Different spring water.

In this bonus heresy, we examine why gear influencers are the modern-day televangelists of photography—how they've built an entire industry around keeping you perpetually inadequate, how they've changed what we value when we look at photographs, and why most of them can't actually shoot.

This isn't about hating content creators. It's about understanding the incentive structures that teach us to worship what we lack instead of what we hold. And it's about recognizing our own complicity in building this machine.

Warning: This episode names names and makes uncomfortable arguments. If you've ever upgraded your camera when you didn't need to, this one's going to hit close to home.

IN THIS EPISODE

The Peter Popoff Parallel
How a disgraced televangelist who sold "Miracle Spring Water" to desperate people is using the exact same business model as gear influencers—just with better production value and no FBI investigation (yet).

The Gospel of the Spec Sheet
Why the prosperity gospel and gear culture are built on identical psychological architecture: the promise that transformation is a transaction you can complete with your credit card.

The Liturgy of Inadequacy
How the inadequacy spiral works: You buy a camera. You're excited. Two weeks later, the algorithm shows you why it's not good enough. And the cycle begins.

"Almost" Is the Most Profitable Emotion
Why we stay in perpetual "almost"—almost ready, almost equipped, almost prepared. Because "almost" feels productive while keeping us from the actual work of making images.

The Confession
Patrick turns the mirror on himself—and on all of us. How we participated in building this system because buying something feels like progress, even when it's not.

The Influencer-as-Career Problem
Why an entire generation of photographers is learning that building a YouTube channel is more profitable than building a portfolio—and what gets lost when content about photography replaces the practice of photography.

The Mirror Moment
Patrick examines his own position: Does he have a podcast? A book? A newsletter? Isn't he doing the same thing? And why his one exception to the "no sponsorship" rule is Guinness beer.

Redefining "Good"
How gear culture changed what we see when we look at photographs—from "Does this make you feel something?" to "Can you see every eyelash at 100% crop?"

The TikTok Critique
A live Instagram feed critique where technical feedback (sharpness, color consistency, dynamic range) completely replaces any conversation about vision, intent, or what the photographer is actually trying to say.

The Scott Kelby / Jeremy Cowart Story
A moment from a photo walk where Scott Kelby interrupts Jeremy Cowart mid-shoot to ask about his settings—perfectly illustrating how we've been conditioned to believe the technical information is what matters, not the seeing.

What Actually Gets Lost
Not just taste or vision, but the willingness to sit with uncertainty. How photographers stop trusting their own eyes and start Googling "best composition for portraits" mid-shoot.

The Portfolio Problem (The nuclear option)
Why most gear influencers can't actually shoot—and how we've given authority to people who can measure corner sharpness but can't make a compelling photograph. Includes the uncomfortable truth about test shots masquerading as sample images.

What Doesn't Matter (And What Does)
Corner sharpness. Dynamic range. Color science. Megapixels. None of it matters if you can't see. And how the camera you have right now is enough—not "enough to start," but enough to make extraordinary work.

The Ending
Not permission, but presence. What Patrick stopped clicking. What he's sitting with. What he's letting stay unresolved. And why his three-year-old scratched camera isn't getting upgraded.

KEY QUOTES

"Almost is the most profitable emotion in the world. Because almost lets us feel like photographers without the risk of making photography."

"Your satisfaction is their bankruptcy."

"The camera didn't change. Your faith did. You were taught to worship what you lack instead of what you hold."

"Transformation is not a transaction. It's something you build."

"We've given authority to people who know how to measure corner sharpness but can't make an interesting photograph."

"Certainty is the enemy of vision. Because vision lives in the uncertainty."

"The thing I'm looking for isn't in the next camera. It's in the next thousand frames. And you can't buy those. You have to make them."


REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE

Peter Popoff
Televangelist exposed by James Randi in the 1980s for using hidden earpieces to fake divine revelations. Declared bankruptcy in 1987. Came back in the 2000s selling "Miracle Spring Water" via late-night infomercials. Ministry pulled in $23 million by 2015.

Inside Edition Investigation (2015)
Confrontation with Popoff showing his $2.1M home, $100K Porsche, and $600K+ salary funded by donations from desperate people.

James Randi Exposure
Magician and skeptic who revealed Popoff's wife was feeding him information through a hidden earpiece during "healing" crusades.

Peter McKinnon
YouTube creator, Canon ambassador, camera backpack designer. Used as example of distinction between content creator and working photographer (with explicit acknowledgment of his talent and intentional career choice).

Scott Kelby / Jeremy Cowart Photo Walk
Venice Beach incident where Kelby interrupted Cowart mid-shoot to ask about camera settings—illustrating the assumption that technical information is what matters.

Ofcom (UK Broadcasting Regulator)
Fined broadcasters in 2018 for airing Popoff's infomercials with health claims that crossed from religious expression into fraud.


MENTIONED PHOTOGRAPHERS & ARTISTS

(For the "what to study instead" section)

  • Alec Soth
  • Sally Mann
  • Saul Leiter
  • Robert Frank
  • Nadav Kander
  • Gregory Crewdson
  • Ansel Adams ("Moonrise, Hernandez, New Mexico")

AUDIO CLIPS USED

Peter Popoff "Miracle Spring Water" Infomercial (2018)
Clips of testimonials, pitch, and call-to-action from late-night infomercial

Inside Edition Confrontation (2015)
Matt Meagher attempting to question Popoff about taking money from desperate people


EPISODE THEMES

  • Inadequacy as a business model
  • Prosperity gospel vs. gear culture
  • The economics of content creation
  • Technical language replacing aesthetic language
  • Learning to see vs. learning to shop
  • Vision vs. specs
The Long Middle - Part 2 - The Costume - Why We Hide Behind Professional Roles16 Dec 202500:35:37

Why do photographers wear so much black? Why do we feel confident on stage but panic at networking events? And why is it so hard to find real community in the creative industry?

In Part 2 of "The Long Middle" series, Patrick explores the costumes we wear—not just the black clothes and gear, but the professional roles and personas that keep us safe and isolated at the same time.

From 17th-century Japanese Kabuki theater to APA mixers in San Diego, this episode examines why we choose invisibility, what happens when we need established roles to feel legitimate, and the five-second decision that keeps us from connection.

IN THIS EPISODE:

  • The Kurogo: Japanese stagehands who dress in black to become "invisible" on stage
  • Why confidence comes from established roles (the stage, the call sheet, the contract)
  • A painful story about leaving a networking event after two minutes
  • How neurodivergence affects ambiguous social spaces
  • Why fifteen years of mastery on set doesn't translate to confidence at a mixer
  • The difference between avatars (who have followers) and humans (who have friends)
  • What happens when you choose the beach over the risk

THE CHALLENGE: The next time someone asks "How's it going?"—tell them one true thing. Not "busy." Not "crushing it." One honest thing. Drop the shield for ten seconds.

LINKS:

Website: terriblephotographer.com

The Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.
terriblephotographer.com/newsletter

Support the Show: Help keep the lights on
terriblephotographer.com/support

Email Patrick: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Questions, hate mail, and existential spirals are all welcome.

CREDITS:

Music licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.

Episode Artwork Photo by @erwimadethis

Written and Produced by Patrick Fore

NEXT WEEK: Part 3 – "The Enemy"
If the Costume hides us, Envy divides us. We're talking about scarcity mindset, comparison, and why we see our peers as threats instead of allies.

Heresies - The Cult Member - Why Your Camera Brand Doesn't Care If You're a Good Photographer27 Jan 202600:47:58

Rochester, 1888. George Eastman releases the Kodak camera with a brilliant slogan: "You press the button, we do the rest." Serious photographers immediately panic, calling new users "Button-Pressers" and "Kodak Fiends." One writer declares photography dead: "When everyone is a photographer, then no one is an artist."

Same fear. Same argument. Different century.

This is Episode 2 of Heresies—where we say the things the photography industry would prefer you not think too hard about.

Today: Why your camera brand doesn't care if you're a good photographer. Why brand ambassadors are unpaid marketing departments. And what happens when you mistake ownership for mastery.

We'll talk about the spreadsheet behind "partnerships." The ROAS calculations that determine who gets loaned gear. And why musicians like Benny Blanco make billion-stream hits on outdated Macs with wired keyboards while photographers argue about megapixels in forums.

This isn't another "gear doesn't matter" sermon. Gear absolutely matters—but only if you already know what you're doing. The R5 makes you more capable, not better. And there's a difference.

If you've ever felt like you needed the "right" camera to be taken seriously, this one's for you.


What We Cover

  • The 1890s moral panic about "Button-Pressers" and "Kodak Fiends"
  • Why I felt cheated when a beginner showed up with the same $10K camera setup
  • What I learned working in Taylor Guitars' marketing department about brand partnerships
  • How ROAS (Return on Ad Spend) and Brand Lift actually work
  • Why camera ambassadors are conversion rates, not artists
  • Benny Blanco making hits on gear that looks like a dorm room liquidation sale
  • The difference between gear that enables vs. gear that replaces skill
  • Why musicians fetishize sound while photographers fetishize newness
  • Where pride should actually live (spoiler: not in your kit)

Quotable Moments

"When everyone is a photographer, then no one is an artist." — 1890s photography critic

"Ownership feels like mastery. That if you just have the right tool, the hard parts quietly disappear."

"I wanted the gate to exist. I wanted the years to mean something visible. I wanted effort to leave a mark you could recognize on sight."

"You're not a partner. You're a line item. An asset on a balance sheet. A tactic in a marketing plan."

"The R5 doesn't make me a better photographer. It makes me a more capable photographer—but only if I already know what I'm doing."

"The tool enables. But it doesn't create. Vision creates. Mastery creates. And you can't buy either of those."

"Musicians fetishize sound. Photographers fetishize newness."

"Pride is expensive. You can put pride in your work. Or you can put pride in your kit. One costs time. The other costs money."

"If the most interesting thing about your work is what you shot it on, you didn't make work. You made a purchase."


For Photographers Who:

  • Feel pressure to upgrade every time a new camera drops
  • Wonder if they need "better" gear before they can do "real" work
  • Have ever felt embarrassed showing up with older equipment
  • Are curious what brand ambassador programs actually are
  • Struggle with gear acquisition vs. skill development
  • Want permission to master what they already have
  • Need to hear that the camera they own is enough


Referenced in This Episode

Benny Blanco - Mix with the Masters
"Benny Blanco producing 'Eastside' and 'Younger And Hotter Than Me' | Trailer"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gnRFrJ3ytY
(Audio clips used with reference to educational context)

Historical Context:

  • George Eastman & the Kodak Camera (1888)
  • The Hartford Courant warnings about "Kodak Fiends" (1890s)
  • Photography industry panic about "Button-Pressers"

Musicians Referenced:

  • Benny Blanco (producer: "Eastside," Selena Gomez, Ed Sheeran, Justin Bieber)
  • Willie Nelson and "Trigger" (Martin N-20 guitar, 50+ years)

Gear Theory:

  • ROAS (Return on Ad Spend)
  • Brand Lift metrics
  • Attribution modeling in influencer marketing

Links & Resources

The Terrible Photographer
Website: http://terriblephotographer.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer/

Lessons From A Terrible Photographer (The Book)
https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book
(Features full chapter: "Gear, Fear, and Peers")

Support the Show (Buy Me a Coffee)
https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support

Subscribe to Pub Notes (The Newsletter)
https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb

Patrick Fore
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patrickfore/


Get in Touch

Have a question? A story? Hate mail?
I respond to everything.
Email's in the show notes.


Credits

Podcast written, produced, and hosted by Patrick Fore
Music licensed through Epidemic Sound & Blue Dot Sessions
Episode photography by Michael Soledad | Instagram: @michsoledesign
Audio clips from "Benny Blanco producing 'Eastside' and 'Younger And Hotter Than Me'" courtesy of Mix with the Masters

Recorded from my garage in San Diego, California

Stay curious. Stay courageous. Stay terrible.

Basics, Deconstructed - Editing is Violence - How to Choose What Matters When Everything Looks Good22 Jan 202600:24:51

Most photographers drown in the edit.

Not because they can't see what's good. Because they can't choose what matters.

This episode is about the violence of editing—the courage it takes to kill good images, the ego that dies in the process, and why great portfolios are built on rhythm, not range.

I tell the story of a La Jolla shoot where I took 1,900 frames in two hours and couldn't figure out which ones to keep. About losing my sense of up and down. About the underwater feeling of staring at 300 good images and having no idea which one cuts through.

And about what happened when I finally admitted I was too close to see.

This isn't about workflow. It's about authorship.

Topics:

  • Why volume doesn't equal value
  • The question that kills most of your images
  • What actually gets destroyed in the edit (spoiler: it's not the photos)
  • Editing as storytelling, not inventory
  • When to admit you're too underwater to choose

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Walter Murch – Film editor (Apocalypse Now, The English Patient, The Conversation)

LINKS & RESOURCES

Website: http://terriblephotographer.com

Lessons From A Terrible Photographer (The Book): https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book

Support the show, buy me a coffee: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support

Subscribe to Pub Notes (The Newsletter): https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb

Terrible Photographer on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer/

Patrick Fore on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patrickfore/

CREDITS

Podcast written, produced, and hosted by Patrick Fore

Music licensed through Epidemic Sound & Blue Dot Sessions

Recorded from my garage in San Diego, California

CONTACT

Questions? Thoughts? Hate mail?
Email me. I respond to everything.
patrick@terriblephotographer.com

Stay curious.
Stay courageous.
Stay terrible.


Heresies - The Proxy - Why Listening to Your Clients Might Be A Bad Idea20 Jan 202600:49:08


When a client says "I want exactly this," are they hiring you to execute their vision—or are they asking you to solve a problem they can't articulate?

This is the first episode in a five-part series called Heresies—where we say the uncomfortable things the industry doesn't want you to think too hard about.

In this episode: Why listening to your client might be killing your work. Why taste is a technical skill, not a preference. And the difference between being a problem-solver and being an expensive tripod.

We'll talk about threading the needle between "authentic" and "amateur." About knowing when you're hired as an artist versus a technician. And about the clients who want you to recreate their blurry iPhone photos of tennis racquets at impossible angles.

(Yes, that's a real story. No, I don't want to talk about it.)

This isn't about ignoring your clients. It's about knowing when to translate what they're asking for into what they actually need.


What We Cover

  • Why your job isn't just to press the button
  • The difference between consumer clients (hiring your taste) and commercial clients (hiring problem-solving)
  • How to build a visual vocabulary (and why scrolling Instagram doesn't count)
  • Red flags that signal a client wants a proxy, not a photographer
  • What "taste as a technical skill" actually means
  • The museum exercise: 20 minutes, one painting, no phone

Quotable Moments

"You're not an equipment rental with legs."

"Clients don't hire us to give them what they want. They hire us to give them something beautiful. Something effective."

"If you don't have a vision, you can't translate someone else's vision."

"You're not a photographer. You're just someone with a camera, waiting for instructions."

"The cost of saying yes to the wrong client isn't just time and money. It's the slow, quiet erosion of why you started doing this in the first place."


For Photographers Who:

  • Struggle with confidence when clients have "very specific ideas"
  • Default to saying "yes" even when the request doesn't make sense
  • Haven't developed their visual voice yet (and don't know where to start)
  • Are tired of being treated like a vending machine
  • Need permission to trust their expertise
  • Want to know how to spot bad clients before signing the contract

Links & Resources

The Terrible Photographer
Website: http://terriblephotographer.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer/

Lessons From A Terrible Photographer (The Book)
https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book

Support the Show (Buy Me a Coffee)
https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support

Subscribe to Pub Notes (The Newsletter)
https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb

Patrick Fore
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patrickfore/


Get in Touch

Have a question? A story? Hate mail?
I respond to everything.
Email's in the show notes.


Credits

Podcast written, produced, and hosted by Patrick Fore
Music licensed through Epidemic Sound & Blue Dot Sessions
Episode photography from Adobe Stock & Unsplash
Recorded from my garage in San Diego, California

Stay curious. Stay courageous. Stay terrible.


Amature - Why I Envy Photographers Who Don't Get Paid13 Jan 202600:40:45


There's a woman in Bangkok who's been selling noodles from the same corner for 43 years. She turned down Bon Appétit. Not because she's shy. Because she didn't want to cook for strangers with expectations.

This episode started with a voicemail from Jason, a listener in North Carolina who shoots photos of his kids and has no interest in going pro. He called me out for ignoring non-professionals. And he was right.

What I didn't expect was how much his email would make me confront something I've been avoiding: I'm envious of amateur photographers. Not because they're bad at what they do. Because they still have the thing I traded away.

This is about the cost of professionalization. About the difference between making work because you have to versus making work because the work demands to be made. About freedom, money, and what happens when you refuse to let the transaction define the craft.

If you've ever felt like you're not a "real" photographer because you don't charge... this one's for you.

And if you're a pro who's forgotten why you started... this one's for you too.

Key Themes:

  • Transactional Legitimacy (the belief that payment equals worth)
  • The cost of going professional vs. staying amateur
  • Creative envy and what it reveals
  • Being "unowned" in a world where everything is for sale
  • The difference between a career and a practice

Episode Timestamps:

0:00 - Cold Open: The Noodle Queen of Bangkok
1:15 - Handshake & Episode Intro
2:00 - Jason's Voicemail (Part 1): "I'm not a professional nor do I want to be"
3:00 - Confession: Why I avoid amateur photographers (and the envy underneath)
4:30 - Bellingham, 2012: When I was Jason
6:00 - Jason's Voicemail (Part 2): "We doubt our abilities because we are not getting paid"
6:30 - Alison's Story: The physical therapist photographing her mother's Alzheimer's
16:00 - Naming The Enemy: Transactional Legitimacy
19:00 - The Pivot: What professionals can't do (that amateurs can)
22:30 - The Resolution: Neither path is pure. Both cost something.
28:00 - The Restoration: What the professional world needs from non-professionals
30:30 - The Light Leak: Being unowned

Mentioned in This Episode:

  • Episode 39: Creative directing your own life (referenced when discussing overthinking)
  • Lake Padden, Bellingham WA
  • Fairhaven, Bellingham WA
  • Mount Baker, WA

Key Quote:

"You are not beneath professionals. You are adjacent to freedom they lost."

For Jason:

Thank you for the email. Thank you for the voicemail. Thank you for calling me out. This episode wouldn't exist without you.

LINKS & RESOURCES:

The Terrible Photographer:
Website: http://terriblephotographer.com
Subscribe to Pub Notes (Newsletter): https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer/

Lessons From A Terrible Photographer (The Book):
https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-book

Support The Show:
Buy me a coffee: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support

Connect:
Patrick Fore on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patrickfore/
Email: patrick@terriblephotographer.com

CREDITS:

Podcast written, produced, and hosted by Patrick Fore
 Music licensed through Epidemic Sound
Intro Song: Free Spirit by Max Volante
 Episode photography from lucas.george.wendt
Recorded in my garage in San Diego, California

A NOTE FOR NON-PROFESSIONALS (Amatures):

If you're listening to this and you don't charge for your work—if you shoot because you love it, not because you're building a business—please know this:

Your work matters.
 Your perspective matters.
 Your freedom matters.

You're not less than. You're not waiting to become real.

You're already real.

And some of us wish we still had what you have.

SHARE THIS EPISODE:

Know someone who needs to hear this? A parent with a camera. A hobbyist who doubts themselves. A pro who's forgotten why they started.

Send them this episode. Let them know they're not alone.

The Fresh Start Fallacy - Are You Building a Boat or Just Floating in a Tube?06 Jan 202600:41:04

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

Three hundred years. That's how long my family has been in America. Jamestown. Virginia. Colonial laborers. Post-Civil War homesteaders in Missouri. And not one of them—not one—ever owned anything that lasted.

In 1726, when a British clerk wrote "Fore" instead of "Fauer," my family's name changed. But the pattern didn't.

This episode isn't about New Year's resolutions or fresh starts. It's about lazy rivers, tubes, and boats. It's about realizing you're floating in a system you never chose—and that everyone in your family has been floating for centuries. It's about being the first one to try to get out, even when you don't know how to swim.

I talk about my MIT PhD brother who doesn't know how to freelance. A wedding photographer who realized he became his father. And why I'm angry at ancestors I've never met for never trying to break a pattern I now have to fight.

If you've ever felt like you're working hard but never building anything. Like you're trapped between staying comfortable and risking everything. Like you're the first person in your family trying to do something different with no map and no model—this one's for you.

Not because I have answers.

Because I'm in the middle of the same fight.

IN THIS EPISODE:

  • The 300-year pattern: Jamestown to Missouri, laborers to homesteaders—and why nothing changed
  • Why "legally free but economically pinned" explains my entire family history
  • Boats, tubes, and swimmers: understanding the lazy river of life
  • My brother's phone call: when an MIT PhD doesn't know how to freelance
  • Why I'm angry at dead people who had no choice
  • What it means to labor for yourself vs. labor for someone else's dream
  • The question: Do you see the river? And if you do, what are you going to do about it?

WANT A SEAT AT THE TABLE?

The Table is a small, email-based conversation space for creative people in the long middle. No apps. No feeds. No pressure. No posting requirements. Just occasional emails about the real stuff—and the option to reply, or not.

Some weeks you'll get a reflection. Some weeks a question. Some weeks nothing. Sometimes it's about creative existential dread. Sometimes it's about whether gaffer tape smells different depending on the brand.

It's a pub table. But everyone's wearing sweatpants. And nobody has to drive home.

If you want a seat, email: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Subject line: "I'd like a seat at The Table"


LINKS:

Website: http://terriblephotographer.com

The Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.
terriblephotographer.com/newsletter

Support the Show: Help keep the lights on
terriblephotographer.com/support

Email the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Questions, thoughts, rage at your own ancestors—I respond to everything.

The Long Middle - The Third Space - How to Actually Build Community When Traditional Third Spaces Are Dead (And Why We Have to Try Anyway)30 Dec 202500:38:42

You've mastered the craft. You've built the business. You're successful. But you're still lonely. You're Joshua Bell in the subway—playing a Stradivarius while everyone walks past. You've taken off the costume, rejected the hierarchy, and you're still isolated.

So now what?

In the finale of "The Long Middle" series, Patrick explores sociologist Ray Oldenburg's concept of "The Third Space"—the pubs, coffee shops, and barbershops where community used to happen naturally. He examines why these spaces disappeared, how COVID delivered the final blow, and why digital spaces (Reddit, Discord) might be Third Space for some people while remaining incomplete for others.

This episode is both diagnosis and prescription: why we're lonely, why it's gotten worse, and the uncomfortable truth that you can't find community—you have to build it. One vulnerable conversation at a time.

IN THIS EPISODE:

  • Ray Oldenburg's Third Space theory: First Space (home), Second Space (work), Third Space (community)
  • Why Third Spaces disappeared: suburbanization, work-from-home, social media performance culture
  • How COVID killed Third Space culture permanently (not just temporarily)
  • The death of Meetup.com and "social atrophy"—we forgot how to be together
  • Why your friend who says "Reddit is my Third Space" isn't wrong (but it's incomplete)
  • The difference between performing and being seen in digital spaces
  • Why networking events are Second Space disguised as Third Space
  • The Leslie paradox: Patrick's only Third Space relationship is digital and 2800 miles away
  • You can't find Third Space, you have to build it—starting with ONE person
  • Vulnerability first: Be vulnerable → See who responds → Build from there
  • Why you need 2-3 real connections, not 100 photographer "friends" (Dunbar's number)
  • Consistency over intensity: weekly coffee > annual epic meetup
  • The five steps to building your own Third Space (reach out, show up without costume, witness don't fix, make it regular, expand carefully)
  • What to talk about (the real stuff: struggles, jealousy, exhaustion, the work you're hiding)
  • What NOT to talk about (how busy you are, your big clients, industry gossip)
  • Introducing The Table: Patrick's email-based Third Space experiment for people in the long middle

THE CHALLENGE: Reach out to ONE person this week. Not to network, not to collaborate. Just: "I've been thinking about creative loneliness lately. Want to grab coffee?" Then show up without your costume and talk about what you're actually struggling with.

KEY QUOTES: "Third Space doesn't exist until someone creates it. And it doesn't start with a community. It starts with one person."

"Digital-only Third Space is incomplete. You need to look someone in the eye. You need to sit across a table from another human. You need to exist in a room where you can't edit yourself before you speak."

"You can't outsource belonging. You can't scroll your way to community. You can't consume your way to connection."

"COVID didn't pause Third Space culture. It killed it. And we're still living in the wreckage."

WANT A SEAT AT THE TABLE?

The Table is a small, email-based conversation space for creative people in the long middle. No apps. No feeds. No pressure. No posting requirements. Just occasional emails about the real stuff—and the option to reply, or not.

Some weeks you'll get a reflection. Some weeks a question. Some weeks nothing. Sometimes it's about creative existential dread. Sometimes it's about whether gaffer tape smells different depending on the brand.

It's a pub table. But everyone's wearing sweatpants. And nobody has to drive home.

If you want a seat, email: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Subject line: "I'd like a seat at The Table"

LINKS:

Website: terriblephotographer.com

The Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.
terriblephotographer.com/newsletter

Support the Show: Help keep the lights on
terriblephotographer.com/support

Email the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Questions, thoughts, rage—I respond to everything.


CREDITS:

© My Podcast Data