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Explore every episode of the podcast The Stars Aren't Alright | Call of Cthulhu Actual Play

Dive into the complete episode list for The Stars Aren't Alright | Call of Cthulhu Actual Play. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

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TitlePub. DateDuration
Leah's S3 Oneshot: Do Not Fear The REAPRs (PT 1)09 Aug 202601:29:07
Meet Joint (Kat), Frog (Tom), Sexy Dan (Jessie), and Chipper (Brian) as our fearless Gaykeeper (Leah) leads us into a labyrinth of experimentation and grief - and, in true Gaykeeper form, gross squelchy body horror. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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Season 3 Recap: A Girls Gotta Have An Arc12 Jul 202602:28:31
In this recap of season 3, we discuss the ups and downs, forwards and backwards of The New Meta. Questions from each other, questions from you, our lovely listeners - all to the dulcet tones of a selection of this season's OST. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3e13: Saccade PT 221 Jun 202601:16:30
Juno makes several Persuade rolls. Glade does what she has to. Alastar shows off his piloting skills. Barron attempts rocket science. In the dark conclusion to season 3, our crew face impossible choices - either bad OR worse would be a gift at this point... (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E13: Saccade Part 114 Jun 202601:32:57
The crew of the Violet King Henry talks about tubes - and comes to a fateful decision about their path forward in Part 1 of our Season 3 Finale...(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3: The Road So Far...31 May 202600:27:41

Enjoy this brief, spoiler heavy recap of Season 3, episodes 1-12! We're in the process of getting episode 13 recorded, and we can't wait to bring that to you. In the meantime, why not enjoy some not-malt malt liquor at a licensed establishment - unless you don't drink. In which case, why not enjoy some jalapeno flavoured hot spittin' spot hidden lube? *not for drinking.


(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E12: Symbiosis 17 May 202601:53:46
The crew undertakes a dramatic rescue - all while certain doom approaches from orbit. Glade and Alastar make an agreement. Barron plays with a big tube. Juno is a wizard. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E11: Sandra, On the Run03 May 202601:56:49

Alastar and Glade learn of a devious and brilliant plan to get past the Navy. Juno and Barron bond over their convalescence. Things get desperate for our increasingly ragged band...(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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S3E10: Get Out Of My Brain19 Apr 202601:54:57
Finally reunited, our team makes good their escape from Rita's N'Gurath LTD building. Juno and Barron fight for their lives, while Glade and Alastar also fight for Juno and Barron's lives. A sacrifice must be made...(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E9: The Storm05 Apr 202601:50:57
Chaos ensues as Naval remnants descend. Glade contemplates the psychology of wardrobe. Juno warms herself with old flames. Barron greets an unexpected visitor. Alastar, in a departure from his normal modus operandi, commits more murder. One imagines Doug happy in his truck. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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S3E8: The New Meta22 Mar 202601:28:20
Alastar engages in Kutainian diplomacy. Glade, Juno, Barron, Creed, and Mike all learn about physics. Doug gets to sit in a truck! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E7: Two Paths, Same Road08 Mar 202601:49:57
Glade and Alastar wade through fire and blood for their friends. Juno and Barron wade through luxury and vulnerability to make a new friend. Creed and Doug try to keep up with our semi-lovable band of nonsense goblins. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E6.5: Down By The Bay22 Feb 202601:51:09
In this brief, cannon, and lore-heavy aside from Season 3's main cast, join Taylor, Mistress Sin, Cassandra, Griswold, and Jarnne...Jennr...Yawna...Rob's character as they escape from Abditus Bay, a colony that has been left behind by the USC - but not by the creatures that are emerging from the void....(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E6: The Calm Before The Storm08 Feb 202601:49:59
Barron tries to lie a lot. Juno makes a credit rating check. Glade attempts diplomacy. Alastar gets offended. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E5: A Little Bit of Rita25 Jan 202602:00:52
Our team makes the trip to the Baha system, to the planet of Mahm-bo V. The crew meets the Navy. Juno meets an old "friend". Barron speaks fluent Mean Girl. Glade goes shopping. Alastar is huge. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E4: Cars, Cargo Bays, and Culinary Conundrums15 Jan 202602:20:32
Glade works on her mechanics, Juno works on her weaving, Barron works on his science, and everyone else works on manual labor. The crew decides their next destination, realizing that nowhere is truly safe...(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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Christmas 2: (Christ Harder)21 Dec 202501:14:14
Join us as we perfectly recreate the best Christmas movie of all time - DIE HARD! Again, it's perfect. A 1:1 recreation. SEASON 3 WILL RESUME IN JANUARY, BE NOT AFRAID. Happy Holidays you beautiful people, we love yooooooooooou! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E3: Grave Robbers14 Dec 202501:57:54
Glade and Alastar gamble with money and their lives. Barron gambles with his well-being to connect with Creed. Juno gets a new job. Doug suffers nonsense with grace. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E2: Pit Stop30 Nov 202502:36:40
The crew deals with the fallout of their foray into each other's memories. Glade and Juno spend time together. Barron and Alastar have differing culinary tastes. Doug and Creed are there, too. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S3E1: Nobody Stands Alone16 Nov 202502:14:29

Welcome back for Season 3, folks! Join Alastar, Juno, Barron, and our favorite tortured and masked mercenary, as our crew navigates the reality of apocalypse, and something even darker - their own brainholes. Specific TW: this one contains scenes of child harm and mental coercion - keep yourselves safe while listening! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  


Ms. Frazzle voiced by the inimitable Damien Marty!

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Season 3 Teaser09 Nov 202500:01:15
We can't wait to bring you season 3 of The Stars Aren't Alright - full episode coming next week! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S2.5 E4 PT 2: The Battle of the Basement31 Oct 202501:12:55
Tough decisions, boot lube, and extraordinary violence; what more could you possibly ask for? Join us as we conclude Season 2.5 in classic TSAA fashion - I'll leave it up to you to define what that means for yourselves. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S2.5 E4 PT 1: The Sticky Basement26 Oct 202501:31:54
The crew explores intuitive parking options in Tortuga. We meet Bruce, Grace's brother. There's a library. The crew makes a fateful decision...(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S2.5 E3: Out of the Frying Pan...19 Oct 202502:02:12
Marmot finds connection in unexpected places. Maeve and Lara look out for each other. Bean climbs and Mawl Eah...well, Mawl Eah does her own thing. Abby remains insane and Celery is still sleepies. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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s2.5 E2: The Ship Within The 'Ship12 Oct 202501:58:42
Mawl-Eah practices defensive driving. Bean gets to climb something. Lara and Maeve discuss family. Marmot warms up to new ideas. Also, there's some eye stuff so go in warily if that's not your thing! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S2.5 E1: Powerful Women with Powerful Handguns05 Oct 202501:52:52
We join the Anserina once more as Mawl-Eah and Maeve make good their escape from Gorto City. Meanwhile, in a whole other star system, Lara and Bean deal with the realities of their career paths, previous relationships, and familial drama. Also, don't even THINK we forgot about BUUB BABYYYYY (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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The Preacher and The Sh*thead21 Sep 202500:01:37

Coming soon to a Gigatheatre Holoplex near you!


(Listen to Seasons 1 and 2 of The Stars Aren't Alright - Season 3 coming soon!)

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Catherine's S2 Oneshot: A Heist on the Promethean Highway PT 227 Aug 202501:19:40
(SEASON 2 SPOILERS ABOUND) In the thrilling conclusion to Catherine's season 2 oneshot, we find out whether Maxwell (Caleb), Clitus (Brian), RKQ (Leah), and Spedy Stev (Alex) have what it takes to complete their objective - and get out alive. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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Catherine's S2 Oneshot: A Heist on the Promethean Highway PT 111 Aug 202502:03:03
(SEASON 2 SPOILERS ABOUND) Join Maxwell (Caleb Ellsworth-Clark), Speedy Stev (Alex), RKQ(Leah), and Clitus (Brian) as they attempt to complete a complicated heist after the events of Season 2! Catherine has created an unholy alliance of Call of Cthulhu and Blades in the Dark and we do our absolute best to be huge morons while she wrangles a cool story from our nonsense. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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Tom's S2 Oneshot: A Miner Issue PT 207 Jul 202501:45:47
Rejoin Charles (Brian), Nikki (Leah), Gothar (Karlyn), and Dicky (Jess) as they try to escape the void, and the horrors therein (Tom). We conclude this particular Season 2 oneshot in style - meaning, with a bodycount. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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Tom's S2 Oneshot: A Miner Issue PT 122 Jun 202501:24:54
Tom leads us into the dark void of contract work in his second oneshot! Join Gothar, Nikki, "Dr." Dicky, and Charles as they near the end of their 10 year contract - special guests Karlyn and Jess absolutely crush it in this one, as they so often do. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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Season 2 Recap: Now What?! 01 Jun 202502:10:29
SPOILERS ABOUND IN THIS EPISODE - DO NOT LISTEN UNTIL YOU HAVE FINISHED SEASON 2 OR YOU'LL EXPLODE. In this recap episode, the cast talks about their favourite clips from Season 2, and answers questions from our Discord - all to the sultry tunes of Season 2's soundtrack. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S2E13: Sing Thee To Thy Rest18 May 202502:23:05
In the season finale, our team is stuck between bad and worse choices, and the fate of the surviving residents of Gate City hangs in the balance...(This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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S2E12: The Maw of the Beast04 May 202502:26:04
Glade resolves a workplace conflict. Juno tries to game the system. Alastar just wants to phone home. Barron holds hands. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S2E11: Change, Chance, and Choice20 Apr 202501:58:06
GC News sends out a controversial message. The crew engages in some light looting. There's a fort made of baby mannequins. Glade faces a tough choice, and decides to smooch about it. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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Season 2 AMA13 Apr 202500:33:56
In this short interlude, we take questions from our fans! Any questions we didn't get to will be answered in greater depth in our Season 2 recap that we'll record when Season 2 is done and dusted. Love yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S2E10: Decidedly Not Woo Part 208 Apr 202500:51:55
Juno learns some unfortunate truths about the Church of His Light. Alastar sees the light. Glade is a determined guard dog. It gets real in this one, team. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S2E10: Decidedly Not Woo Part 130 Mar 202500:59:42
Glade shoots her shot. Alastar observes a transformation. Juno can't quite put her finger on the situation. Pyotr, on the other hand, gets to the thrust of the matter. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)  

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S2E9: A Whole Ass Thing16 Mar 202502:03:57
Glade and Alastar use teamwork to overcome obstacles. Juno practices conflict resolution. Pyotr practices alternative medicine. Long jackets, gunfire, explosions, and space amphetamines - everything a growing hominid needs. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) 

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S2E8.5: The Bellendi Estate03 Mar 202502:17:51
Is the Paladin the BBEG of the campaign? Is it Doug? Nope, it's scheduling conflicts, as always. Fortunately, we're joined by Karlyn and Oscar for Episode 8.5 - a glimpse at what else is happening on the Promethean Highway while certain speeches are given in Gate City. We also learn the origins of a certain leatherbound book which has caused so much trouble, hundreds of lightyears away... (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) 

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S2E8: A Scooch of Economic Terrorism16 Feb 202502:03:11
Alastar and Glade get the best medical care organized crime has to offer. Juno meets a fan. Pyotr decides to get some yield from the curve. Doug phones in briefly. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) 

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S2E7: Don't Split The Party02 Feb 202502:00:50
Pyotr sets the stage for his big speech with Doug's help. Juno comes to terms with why she's here. Glade decides to dance. Alastar submits a complaint to HR (with references). (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) 

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S2E6: We Love A Tunnel20 Jan 202502:00:43
Juno and Pyotr contemplate some light reading. Glade takes charge once again. Alastar is here for the vibes. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.) 

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S2E5: Put On Your Walking Pants05 Jan 202502:17:11
Juno contemplates hypnosis. Glade keeps her mask on while taking her mask off. Alastar networks while on a work trip. Pyotr and Doug speculate on real estate - tactically. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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Holiday Special: A Very Pyotr Christmas24 Dec 202401:01:07
SEASON 1 SPOILERS - IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED SEASON 1, GIVE THIS A MISS UNTIL YOU DO. In this non-canon aside, the cast drinks a bunch of egg nog and tries to recreate A Christmas Carol from memory. Our success? Limited. The plot? Unhinged. The lessons learned? Dubious. Enjoy this lil' holiday present from our messed up comedy/horror family to yours! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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S2E4: Look At Me Now, Dad22 Dec 202401:57:34


Pyotr traumatizes hospital staff. Juno and Glade carpool. Alastar takes a detour to diss an old man before getting a bad performance review from his boss. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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S2E3: Dream a Little Dream of Me08 Dec 202402:02:47
We decide we're going to learn more about Pyotr's backstory, even if we have to put him in a medically induced coma to do it. Juno and Glade's reunion doesn't go the way we all thought it would. Alastar's boss is being a real capital B - oh yeah, and he drinks wine out of a bedpan. Doug and Glade argue about capitalism. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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S2E2: Breakdown Lane24 Nov 202401:56:41
The crew makes their way back to where it all started - Gate City, baby. Juno, Pyotr, and Alastar debate with Siri. The Mask tries to bond with Juno. Doug tries to be a gentleman. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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S2E1: Spittin' Hot Truth10 Nov 202402:14:15
WE'RE SO BACK, BABY! Meet Alastar Bran - an enormous CORPSEC agent with a penchant for violence and an anime-inspired loadout. The familiar faces - Juno, Pyotr, The Mask, and Doug - make good their escape from Gizen-Sha Station. Picking up where we last left off at the end of Season 1, things go...well, pretty much exactly as you'd expect. There's a fart shuttle in this one! (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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S1.5 E4: Descent into the Sanctum27 Oct 202403:05:16
Marmot, Maeve, MawlEah and Celery finish up Season 1.5 in style - boot wings included. Reeling from revelations, feeling the crushing weight of corporate greed, and unnerved by the promise of something even darker, our crew descends into the bowels of Gorto City. Save the sister, save the galaxy? Maybe let's just aim for survival. DOWN TO BUSINESS: 6:45. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised. TW: Depictions of police violence frequent throughout this episode)

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S1.5 E3: A Steaming Pile of Exposition20 Oct 202402:06:33
Marmot, Maeve, and MawlEah investigate Lucas Firinn's apartment. Celery keeps watch with eyes big and small. We stay on brand with more sci-fi lube content, and you know what comes back this episode? That's right, the TRAIN BABYYYYY THE TRAIN IS IN THIS ONE TOO CHOOCHOO LETS GOOOOOOOOO - DOWN TO BUSINESS: 7:45. (This podcast contains scenes of violence, adult language, and - if we did our jobs right - disturbing subject matter. Listener discretion is strongly advised.)

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