Have you been victimised by a Nigerian man? Are you too nice to the Nigerian men you date? (YES) Is there a lack of cultural awareness that impinges upon your ability to understand Nigerian men? However you resonate (or don't) with these questions, you'll enjoy this episode full of insight, banter and cultural context from a Nigerian woman, herself! In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how best to date Nigerian men to enjoy the best of them and avoid the worst of them... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you that friend who keeps calling your friend to complain about the same man you won't leave? Are you the friend who wishes your homegirl would get a grip and get over that man, so you can have your friend back? Or are you that woman who has exhausted all your friendships and has found herself isolated because you keep choosing men over self-respect? If any of the above resonate, this episode is for you! In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the irritation of being that woman who simply won't learn her bloody lesson... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you finally feel ready to leave, this episode is for you. In this episode, join The Slumflower as shares tools on how to leave FOR GOOD, and what you can do to fortify yourself mentally...for when the storm inevitably comes. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where is the line drawn between leadership and control? Do 'alpha' men actually live up to their description? Why do women seek such traits in men? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the myth of the alpha male - and why we should all interrogate our attraction to alpha men... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is a person redeemable once you develop the ick for them? What does it take for a man to give you the ick? How can you tell when a man has gotten the ick for YOU? In this episode, join Chidera as we talk all things ick - including my biggest turn-offs that classify a man disqualified in her eyes! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is that man in a rush to marry you? Would he even make a good husband? Are you desperate to be wifed? In this hilarious episode, join The Slumflower as she chats through why a marriage proposal isn't always flattering - and what you can do to remove the power and pressure you have placed on the idea of being someone's wife! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you justify tormenting yourself for the sake of having a 'good story' to tell? Are you impulsive and adrenaline-driven in your dating decisions? Have you found yourself living in the architecture of your own demise? Featuring TWO saucy stories, join Chidera in this episode as she talks through times when she's done it for the plot...and benefited from the wild spontaneity! ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you easily swayed by a man's appearance? Do you find yourself being easily governed by the coochie flutters when you come across a cute man? Are you unknowingly giving away your power by putting emphasis on how attractive that man is, instead of how well he treats you? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she takes good-looking men OFF the pedestal! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has that man become the sad cloud in your sky? Do you find yourself coasting along in this relationship out of guilt rather than choice? Do you feel responsible for this man's wellbeing? Baby...it's time to lift that burden and address the baggage you've taken on as your own! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So the switch-up has finally happened...he's stopped texting you the way he used to; he's not really making plans to take you out anymore; you've had your first argument and he's surprisingly chilled and NONCHALANT?! *blocks your hand from hitting the panic button* Time to stay calm and quietly examine everything you have tolerated so far! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was voted for by my patrons on Patreon! After what started out as a simple evening of sharing some anonymous insight from sex workers about the hidden reality of married men, the conversation snowballed into an Instagram stories-based discussion, where women across age groups, marital status, professions and lifestyles, were sending in their truths about the ways married men cheat, lie, and manipulate their way through marriage... In what's considered this podcast's most controversial episode so far, join The Slumflower as we tuck into this discourse and unveil the skeletons married women might be (unknowingly) helping their husbands hide! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is 'that's just how I am', your default response to being called out for certain behaviours that might be holding you back? Or is 'that's just how he is', your way of justifying that man's irresponsible behaviour towards you? Being a strict babe isn't for everyone but in this episode, we visit the various ways we can let go of the excuses and start observing our situations for what they really are... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you find your neurodivergence interfering with your dating life? Have you found your rejection sensitivity makes you more prone to rumination? Has your constant masking made you more used to tolerating discomfort around men? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how her neurodivergence influences the way she navigates men. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the love you seek has already found you? Is self-love really the best love? Based on the awful reputation they have created for themselves, is there a limit to which we can involve men in our deepest dreams for the future? Much was covered in this episode! Join The Slumflower as she discusses why 'happily ever after' might already have happened for us and we haven't noticed... ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you a 'one man' type of lover but you're curious? Has your boyfriend pissed you off beyond repair? Has the world convinced you that you're 'greedy' for dating more than one dude? If any of the above questions jump out at you, you're really going to dig this episode! Special shout-out to the girlies that already get it. ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you a woman who struggles to forgive men? Do people make you feel like you hold grudges for too long? Are you a recovering pushover? If any of the above questions resonate with you, pay attention to this episode! In this discussion, join Chidera as she runs through all the reasons men don't deserve to be forgiven so easily, and the ways women sabotage themselves by handing out the benefit of doubt to every Tom, Dami and Harry... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why are straight women so helplessly bound to their heterosexuality? How can straight women gain more from their attraction to men without losing themselves? What do straight women keep doing wrong to further reinforce their suffering? In this episode, Chidera visits the various ways straight women betray themselves in exchange for 'love' from men... Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do Black women benefit from 'race first' solidarity in their dating decisions? Is Black women's appreciation of Black men reciprocated? Are we moving towards a society where interracial relationships are becoming more popular as a form of Black women's resistance to intra-communal suffrage and misogynoir? Whilst this episode is deeply controversial, join The Slumflower as she discusses divesting from solely dating Black men, and what going where the love is looks like... Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In an age where we feel compelled to prove we are loved, is sharing pictures of your boyfriend on social media a risky move? Do we jinx it by claiming men in public too soon? Do men benefit from us posting them online as our partners? In this episode, Chidera discusses why she is averse to the idea of sharing pictures of your new boyfriend on social media - and why the relief of not posting him might be worth it if/when he pisses you off! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was voted for by my patrons over on Patreon! In an age where women seem to not grasp that men are swindling them for sex, what can we do to raise our awareness of the ways men passively control women to get what they want from us? Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you easily swindled by a man's enthusiastic advances? Are you in a hurry to believe what a man says if it means you can have a relationship to claim? Do you need to mentally fortify yourself with the strength to dodge lovebombing? If any of the above questions resonate, this one's for you! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you emotionally stuck in your attachment to him? Does it feel like you are cutting off a limb by cutting him off? Do you need to be talked off the ledge of over-investment in this man? Gather round the fireplace, let's talk... In this episode, The Slumflower runs through a comprehensive thought stream on how to emotionally detach from men without losing your determination in the process - along with ways to cheat to your benefit (if you really have to!) Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this fun storytime, join The Slumflower as she spills the details of her encounter with a rather generous submissive man... ;) Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are pick-me women simply misunderstood? Are things 'easier' with men when you let patriarchy run its course? What can women do to avoid becoming desperate? In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through all the reasons why picking men over yourself will always leave you short-changed and resentful - no matter how exceptional you think your situation is... Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW at Leicester Square Theatre, London Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was voted for by my patrons over on Patreon! Do you find yourself panicking on first dates? Does your overthinking breed overcompensation? Are you scared of awkward silences? If you resonate with any of the above questions, this episode is definitely for you! Dating should be fun and in this short and sweet episode, join The Slumflower as she talks you through fun ways to get through dating without getting yourself too involved. ;) Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you still on your digital quest for love? Is the dating app fatigue kicking in? Have you started checking the dating apps more than you check Instagram? It might be time for a breather... In this episode, Chidera speaks on why she thinks you should quit dating apps once and for all! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the highly anticipated first episode of SEASON 2, The Slumflower joins forces with the unstoppable comedian: Katherine Ryan! Is having a man's children the ultimate betrayal? Should women dominate their husbands? Are breadwinner wives doomed? It all goes down in this hilarious, truthful and vulnerable episode... Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the FINAL episode of The Slumflower Hour podcast's first ever season and of course, we had to wrap this up in style! It is with great honour to introduce to you, MISTRESS MARLEY: the professional dominatrix and sex educator, who took social media by storm with a viral video of her taking a leashed, kneeling, elderly, white male sub to her homecoming. Since the viral moment was documented in The New York Times, Mistress Marley has gone on to expand further into her dominance as a profession, taking on celebrity male clients and making six figures a year, centering reparations in her work and using her platform to teach other women how to become dominatrixes - all whilst throwing kink parties and fostering community for Black people in kink! In this conversation, join Chidera and Mistress Marley as they both muse on dating as dominatrixes, learning how to tell men what to do, common misconceptions about dominating men and the various ways being a dominatrix can provide useful transferrable skills for everyday life. You can find Mistress Marley at: @hausofmarley on Instagram @eyesxonfire on Twitter Mistress Marley's domination courses: https://www.patreon.com/sexcademy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are relationships your comfort zone? Are you scared of being alone? Have you spent more time being in relationships, than being single? You may really benefit from this episode if you resonate with any of the above questions! In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses living a life you aren’t in a hurry to escape from, developing the confidence to walk away from men and choosing your life, not settling for it. Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower (Out November 2023)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you fear that you 'owe' men something in return for their kindness? Are you self-deprecating and unable to see yourself as worthy of receiving? Do you feel bad when men go out of their way for you? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, this episode is definitely for YOU! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Pre-order my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower (Out November 2023)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As complex and unique as we all are, there are still traits we share in common - depending on what period of the year we were born in! Join The Slumflower as she discusses the weaknesses and strengths of your zodiac sign - and even if you don't resonate with astrology, you may learn a fun fact or two! The 'Men of The zodiac' episode was hilarious so after many requests - both on the Patreon and in Instagram DM's, we now have an episode (lovingly) dragging the women of all 12 zodiac signs. Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is your horniness hindering you? Do you find yourself making more excuses for him because of your sexual attraction to him? Are you giving away so much of yourself and still not getting what you want from him? It may be time to talk about sexual discipline... In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses better ways to manage your sexual urges without losing yourself, as well as why it's sometimes important to revoke access to the pussy, even if the pussy still wants to play! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was voted for by my patrons over on my Patreon! Does misandry hold the same weight as misogyny? Are men trying hard enough? Are women ever going to be free from patriarchy? In this episode, The Slumflower discusses why anger is vital for liberation, how being too compassionate towards men is keeping us stuck, and why it matters to have outlets to release your rage. Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where do you draw the line of financially supporting a man you care about? Are men more likely to take advantage of generous women? What happens if that man can't pay you back? In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the slippery slope of borrowing money to men...whilst being in a sexual relationship with the man you're financially supporting! Are there exceptional scenarios? Or should we just leave men to fix their own financial problems? Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you notice yourself almost falling for the botched dream being sold to you? Was it all stating to feel a little too good to be true? Has he switched up on you because his little game didn't work? Nothing hits better than that 'thank God I didn't fall for him' relief and in this episode, The Slumflower visits the various ways men become sassy and insufferable when their grandiosity backfires! Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was voted for by my patrons over on my Patreon! In the longest episode so far, join The Slumflower as she talks about raising your self-esteem, through the lens of observing rejection sensitivity, desperation, and comparing yourself to women who are in relationships you idolise. Do men target women who they detect have low self-esteem? Is it too late to raise your self-esteem and date better? Does a woman need to be stupendously beautiful for a man to desire and respect her? It all goes down in this episode - hilariously and as usual, impactfully! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses: what's the difference between ‘being bought’ and being where your worth feels valued? Do you feel comfortable asking men for things or are you scared they will think you're 'fleecing' them? What makes a man worth being the 'right' man for you? Sometimes, you might not even by asking for too much...sometimes, he's just the wrong man! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You waited patiently and it's finally happening...THE SLUMFLOWER HOUR IS NOW ON PATREON! Over at my Patreon page, you can enjoy the following benefits: BONUS MINISODES: 2 x Monthly Exclusive Mini-sodes (15-minute video bites) EXCLUSIVE WORKSHOP SERIES: access to the full video workshop series DIGITAL DOWNLOADS: access all worksheets and resource downloads including the BRAND NEW DILEMMA MANUAL - A quick guide to decide on whether to keep or leave that guy! EPISODES FROM THE VAULT: access the archive of unseen full-length podcast episodes LIVE RECORDINGS: stream exclusive audio from past live show recordings VOTING POWER: help pick which topics I should cover on the podcast MEMBERS ONLY GROUP CHAT: private member's community where you can chat amongst yourselves and share resources on how to better survive patriarchy FREE EBOOK: free download of The New Patriarchy’s Worst Nightmare, Volume 2: The E-Book (Ahead of its January 2024 public release, £10) I look forward to seeing you on the other side. Come join me! patreon.com/theslumflower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are men trustworthy? Are there times when it's okay for a man to lie to you? Are you too honest with men? In a rather hilarious episode, Chidera unpacks the reality that the man you love will at some point, lie to you - and how we can make peace with the insincerity of men, whilst also accommodating the layers of nuance and reasoning as to why a man might lie; plus how we can benefit from catching him in said lie...depending on how damaging the lie is! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is a straight relationship devoid of love if the woman employs critical thought and strategy in how she shows up in the partnership? Can love and money co-exist? Has this generation missed out on what 'real love' truly means? In this episode, The Slumflower muses on the most common rebuttal she gets from women: 'but what about love?' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you flimsy with your boundaries? Are you too forgiving of men? Do you find yourself being too agreeable and malleable? In this episode, Chidera discusses the idea of creating penalties when men hurt your feelings yet automatically expect forgiveness, why your boundaries might not be working, and what you can do to be stern while still maintaining your sweetness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When is considered 'too soon' to sleep with a guy? Do men value it when you tell them 'I don't usually do this'? Are your sexual impulses sabotaging you? In this hilarious and anecdotal episode, Chidera discusses how a one-night-stand became a 3-week-bender, and what she learnt from the pursuit of instant gratification. We also touch on the controversy of sending nudes to men, and whether your power as a woman can still be redeemable after sleeping with a guy pretty early on into knowing him - especially if after the intimate exchange, you've noticed a change in his behaviour towards you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you rather settle or compromise? Have you explored the difference between settling and compromising? Are you his dream girl or are you his intermediary space-filler while he uses you to get good enough for his dream girl? In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses why compromise isn't as bad as we think it is - and the ways men compromise in their partnerships with women too. We also touch on many women conflating compromise with settling, and why identifying that distinction could save you years of heartache and under-satisfaction. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you addicted to dating apps? Has your pursuit for love become so persistent that you are willing to just accept whoever comes into your life? Are you dampening your ambitions to satisfy the man you're dating? In this episode, The Slumflower muses on the mistakes we make when we sell ourselves short in the hopes of fast-tracking a romantic connection. We also discuss whether long-distance relationships are a good idea, and why many women develop depression from a failing relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is sex different with celebrity men vs regular men? Are the women who think they’re better than sex workers aware they’re casually giving men free access to the same sex other women benefit from? Do men deserve bareback privileges? In this episode, The Slumflower talks about holding out vs giving in, being more likely to slip into 'friends with benefits' scenarios because you are driven by your sexual urges, as well as the issue of sending men nudes... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was voted for by the patrons over at Patreon! If we can all agree that men are scary, then we can al agree that dating men should be worth our time, right? Join Chidera, as she chats through safety, self esteem and making men EARN your trust! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the 'talking stage' even a real thing or is that man securing you as his placeholder? Do we need better boundaries with men who we are granting the chance to get to know us? Should we be making men work harder for our phone numbers? In this episode, join Chidera as she troubleshoots the 'talking stage' and debunks the common male hesitancy to be more affirmative and enthusiastic in their pursuit of you, while she visits the various ways men use the 'talking stage' as a way to buy themselves more of your time that they are wasting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Should we be more 'unrealistic' in our desires and demands of men? Are we benefiting from holding back on giving men a taste of their own medicine? Does our definition of 'savage' need to change? In this episode, Chidera discusses why it matters to match a man's arrogance, why you need to stop explaining yourself to men and why it's important to hold space for the things you don't find attractive about him - no matter how much you fancy him, as a means of staying grounded without becoming grandiose in your attraction to him. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it always a compliment when a man is obsessed with you? Should women be striving more for devotion in men they date? Does a man being obsessed with you mean he will meet your needs? In this episode, The Slumflower shares stories of men she's had to block due to obsession, along with a discussion on what makes obsession and devotion different - even though women seem to conflate the two concepts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are men right when they say women are 'too emotional'? Do we give our power away by crying in front of men about their actions? Should we be more strategic in how we present our sensitivity? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she covers the conundrum of feeling stupid after over-reacting, learning to communicate your feelings to men without gaslighting yourself/downplaying what you truly want to say, leaving the comfort zone of over-sharing your emotions with guys, and resisting the urge to share subliminal social media posts when you're feeling triggered. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices