Explore every episode of the podcast The Slaptail Squad
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Turkey's among us | 01 Dec 2024 | 01:03:31 | |
JD is back to hang with Beaveman and Swan. It's a typical chill conversation with the Dark Lord of Brown-town ranging from the holidays, comedy, and a new movie pick. | |||
| The origins of Beaveman's horniness | 24 Nov 2024 | 01:18:34 | |
Beaveman can directly trace his, "mind in the gutter thought processes," directly to television in the 70's and 80's during the formative years of his brain. So what is wrong with GiGi? Didn't she just watch Arab sanctioned TV? | |||
| Horror pitch | 15 Sep 2024 | 00:55:10 | |
Spookier season is upon us. The members of the squad pitch some horror movie ideas. Nemo's was solid until he decided to use AI to write the synopsis. We find out the Beavemen believes art should be left to humans and AI should assist with medicine, science, engineering and tech, not art. | |||
| Everyday risk and death | 15 May 2022 | 01:23:17 | |
Everyday we come so close to becoming a horrifying statistic. We could get injured, become sick, or worse, we could die. | |||
| Fun with family dynamics | 08 May 2022 | 01:38:27 | |
Can you talk to your family about anything? What if your mom is a hoarder? Will she engage in a conversation about the obvious problem with having a toilet on her front lawn? | |||
| Doomsday pooh | 01 May 2022 | 01:18:30 | |
It's doomsday prediction time again. You may remember previously that the Beaveman predicted the end of times as a result of a super-bug, and then, the pandemic happened. This time he gives us an update on his most recent doomsday prediction. Can you guess what it is from the title? | |||
| Be happy with your junk | 24 Apr 2022 | 01:02:11 | |
Are you happy with your genitals? You really should be. Men, what can you do about it? Nothing, aside from tattooing, piercing, and some other modifications that seem frightening. Be happy with it, let it be your friend. Don't shame it. Also, if you have trouble down below, don't aggravate the situation. Dang, wait until stuff cools down! Put some ice on it, see a doctor, lift with your legs, turn your head and cough, you get the idea. We are just having fun. Thanks so much for joining in on the idiocy and not taking life too seriously. | |||
| Livestream II, that was a struggle | 17 Apr 2022 | 02:01:17 | |
It is episode 112 as a squad and boy, this one was a bit of a struggle at first. First of all, we are podcasters. So for us to livestream...it is like watching a raccoon wash cotton candy. You just shake your head and laugh at how ridiculously inept we are. Once we got it all figured out we had a fun conversation about sex, comedy, Beaveman stories, a fun give away, and of course the bread and butter of the podcast, words that come out of the Ronz's mouth. We are so thankful for the folks that joined us. We promise that next time we will have it down. We are also thankful for our show sponsor and for the boy for their support. Please check out our show links to support them. | |||
| My five things | 10 Apr 2022 | 01:05:49 | |
My five things. The five things in life that keep me in balance. Do you know what they are? Can you guess? The Beaveman shares with the other squad members his five things that he believes leads to balance in life. This is not a self-help podcast. The members of the squad are not trained self-help, or, "life," coaches. Listening to this podcast will not provide you with any life skills. It is purely for entertainment and hopefully for comedy. Thank you all for listening! | |||
| So I have to physically defend my comedy? | 03 Apr 2022 | 01:14:14 | |
Everyone else has an opinion on this topic, so why shouldn't we. You guessed it, we are talking about the physical assault witnessed by the world during the Oscars. Will Smith decided it was ok to slap Chris Rock. Was he justified? What is your opinion? What's the take-away? In the Beaveman's amazing world view this should call to light the reality of what it means to be a comedian. Do you think it is necessarily a safe profession? It should be. Unfortunately comedians are subjected to violence despite their attempt to bring a laugh to the world. We hope you enjoy this episode. Thank you for listening as always. Please share with your friends. | |||
| Are celebrities ruining podcasting? | 27 Mar 2022 | 01:13:31 | |
The squad assembles for a relaxed chat. We talk about the big question, "Are celebrities ruining podcasts?" You decide. What are your favorite podcasts? How many do you have in the rotation? Does anyone even listen to podcasts (according to some marketing person, no one does.)? We disagree on that point. Thanks for listening and sharing. | |||
| When Gen X and Gen Y explain catfishing | 20 Mar 2022 | 01:16:42 | |
The title is pretty accurate. The members of the squad, Ronz, Beaveman and Swan are Gen X and Tromondae is Gen Y. Clearly three out of the four get it, but the outlier as always is the Ronz. Perhaps it is because he made it to Gen X just under the wire and is one year away from being a Baby Boomer. Who knows? We now anticipate that he will use that particular term for any relationship he does not understand. Thank you for listening. | |||
| The Swan is a slob and vaginal dryness is real | 13 Mar 2022 | 01:23:44 | |
The Beaveman relates personal stories about his struggle with the Swan and what he considers her disgusting habits. It is one of those episodes when the Ronz is grateful that he is not the topic of discussion, but, the squad quickly turns on him when he brings the heat on himself. The squad welcomes a guest as an expert in vaginal dryness. It is a thing people. Unfortunately, her advice is limited. Also, did you know you can call yourself a teacher without receiving any formal education? All hail Professor Ronz! Thank you all for joining us. | |||
| Season 6: Guess who's back and where did the Beaveman come from? | 08 Sep 2024 | 01:05:55 | |
It's the first episode after summer break. Welcome to season 6! | |||
| The (blank) sock, hear me out | 06 Mar 2022 | 01:08:04 | |
Writing comedy begins with an idea. A thought here and there. Don't ignore the thought, write it down, and get back to it later. If you find something you want to develop, then get to it and start writing. The Beaveman has a lot of stray thoughts. On this podcast episode he runs a few ideas by the rest of the squad members in an attempt to see what an audience response may be. Will he develop these ideas into full-blown bits? It is hard to say at this point. Maybe he is secretly an entrepreneur. I mean, one of his ideas may actually have some appeal to the free-ballin population. Thanks to all of our listeners for joining us. We look forward to providing you with content every week and episodic live streams. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the inhabitants of the blue planet earth. | |||
| What's your gaming origin story? | 27 Feb 2022 | 01:27:25 | |
The squad assembles and welcomes friend of the show, Skylar aka the boy, to discuss video games and gaming. The Beaveman's earliest memories include Pong, how old is he? While the Ronz, who is basically ancient, remembers using a computer in school. How about the Swan and the boy? How many gaming systems are in your house? Definitely a developed nation thing. Thanks for joining us. We wish peace to the world and support the people of Ukraine. | |||
| Watch the right hand | 19 Feb 2022 | 01:23:01 | |
Watch the right hand because the left hand is just a distraction. The real trick is in the right hand. It is not the tail that wags the dog, but the dog that wags the tail. It is happening right now, maybe it is always occurring. We get distracted by something bright and shiny to divert our attention from the dark underbelly that is the truth. What are we talking about? The enemy we love to hate, the Russians and the current situation in the Ukraine. Remember, we are idiots so you will never learn something from listening to us. | |||
| It's all about the peanut butter | 13 Feb 2022 | 01:18:19 | |
The Beaveman loves peanut butter, from the first scoop to the last. But is it really just about the peanut butter? Is there a deeper meaning? Much like Tromondae's McDonald's french fries we are emotionally attached to the smallest thing. | |||
| Fashion according to Sexual Chocolate | 06 Feb 2022 | 01:09:42 | |
The Beaveman believes you can wear more than one sport brand related garment at a time, Tromondae and Swan disagree. The Ronz clearly has no opinion because he wears a wolf t-shirt tucked into acid wash jeans and he doesn't even know what his shoe size is. Regardless, where does the Swan get off giving the Beaveman fashion advice when she walks around wearing knee length knit sweaters over a sport tank-top and sweatpants. It's a lively discussion between friends that share idiocy as a commonality. If you agree with the Beaveman let us know. Otherwise, keep your opinion to yourself. | |||
| Government deals with aliens to abduct us in exchange for tech | 30 Jan 2022 | 01:10:05 | |
Oh you heard us right. It is no secret that the Beaveman loves conspiracies and conspiracy theories. It should also be no secret that as much as he loves conspiracies and conspiracy theories, he despises unsolved mysteries. So he has decided that many unsolved mysteries can be solved if you consider this: the aliens did it, they slipped through a portal to another dimension, bigfoot took them, or similar. But why are disappearances at National Parks so intriguing? One reason, because the government allows it to happen in exchange for alien tech. We acknowledge that it happens everywhere, but for this episode we are mostly just talking about National Parks. This would have been a lot more fun if the Ronz would have been more engaged, but as per norm now, he insists he is tired. Perhaps the Slaptail Nation can reach out to him and encourage him to get some sleep so he will say more than five words. Thank you for joining us. | |||
| Celebrating our 100th podcast episode as a squad | 23 Jan 2022 | 01:59:06 | |
In celebration of our 100th podcast the squad assembled for their first livestream. This is our podcast from this fun event. We want to thank our listeners who have been with us from the beginning and the listeners who have joined us along the way. | |||
| Break the cycle | 16 Jan 2022 | 01:14:24 | |
Are you good enough, smart enough, do people like you? Of course you are! Of course they do! We like you and that is all that matters. Well, aside from you liking yourself. This isn't one of those self-help podcasts. We just fully believe that the Ronz should treat himself and realize he deserves the best. We are guessing that you do also. Clearly you understand quality, that is why you listen to the Slaptail Squad. | |||
| A good podcast is like a good friend | 09 Jan 2022 | 01:09:38 | |
What more do we need to say? Each week we hope to be the podcast friends that you want to visit with. We enjoy the time we get to spend together with each other and our audience of friends. What would it be like if a week went by and you didn't hear Beaveman yelling at Ronz? Could you go another week without hearing the Swan repeat herself a dozen times? Maybe you really love Tromondae and you just can't wait to hear from him (you won't this week, sorry). I personally love doing it and listening to it after it is posted just as much as I love listening to my favorite podcasts The Last Podcast on the Left, and Morbid. Join us every week. We will be here even if we have one listener, because guess what, we are here for our friends. | |||
| Stopping to play the lottery on examination day with Winonah's gift in hand in anticipation of needing it for either the hunger games or the purge. | 01 Jan 2022 | 01:26:21 | |
That title is kind of long but hey, we like to make it interesting. On this episode the Beaveman provides brief descriptions of short stories from his childhood that described situations in dystopian societies. The squad discusses direct correlations between these stories and popular adaptations such as movies like The Hunger Games and The Purge. The Ronz talks about the very common and dangerous tradition of ,"infanticide," while the rest of the squad contemplates if the Ronz knows what a tradition is. The Beaveman gets philosophical for a moment and asks the squad if they see any similarities in these works of fiction compared to the current health disparities in the world and the global communities' response to those in need. Questions, questions. We hope we make you laugh. Honestly, it isn't a totally serious episode. Thank you for joining us in the new year! | |||
| Swooshie pants episode: The Ghost Sheriff of Friant Road-A Monster's Lair Joint | 25 Aug 2024 | 01:08:35 | |
On this episode, JD takes the lead again to bring us a spooky story, that of the ghost sheriff of Friant road. Well, he tries, first we have to learn that Beaveman is obsessed with his hot governor, and that Swan has a lot of repressed rage. You get it, you have listened to us before. | |||
| Too many coffee cups | 26 Dec 2021 | 01:09:03 | |
No really, that is what the episode is about. This is no deep, philosophical analogy that the Beaveman came up with to describe some sort of existential crisis in his life. The man literally feels like he has too many coffee cups and he does not know what to do about it. It is a real developed nation problem. You may think this is a discussion that is easy to wrap up in about 3 minutes, you would be dead wrong. The squad talks about it for about an hour. What about you? Do you have an abundance of coffee cups? I bet you do. Happy Holidays to the Slaptail Nation! You know we love all 3 of you. | |||
| Holiday lip lubricant | 19 Dec 2021 | 01:18:14 | |
He has waited decades to lubricate his lips with something other than a human, biological fluid. The wait is over. The Beaveman sent Ronz a holiday assortment of lip lubricating substances of different brands and flavors. But which one will he choose? Will it be a life-changing experience. Will he feel as though he has wasted decades of his life, wandering the planet with dry, cracked lips? So many choices: milk chocolate, vanilla bean, graham cracker, traditional, etc. You get the idea. Join Beaveman, Swan, and Tromondae on this grand adventure with the Ronz and his virgin lips. That is what we are all about people. Changing lives. Thanks for listening. Happy Holidays! | |||
| Conversations with Sexual Chocolate, the lost episode from September 2021. Episode 94 | 17 Dec 2021 | 01:04:53 | |
This is an episode we recorded back in September of this year but I failed to post. It is a fun conversation between Beaveman, Swan, and Tromondae whom I like to call Sexual Chocolate. It is a typical conversation. We talk about wet dreams, pooping disasters, why you shouldn't eat your toothpaste, and of course a Q&A with Tromondae regarding LGBTQ terminology. It is just what you have come to expect from us. Complete idiocy. Consider it our gift to you. An extra episode just for fun. I mean, it is Christmas time. Enjoy! | |||
| Little Things That Give Us Joy. Episode 93 | 12 Dec 2021 | 01:18:19 | |
It is a light-hearted talk today about the little things that give us joy. Unfortunately the Ronz and his beautiful wife "lil Powdered Donut," got screwed over by the man so we had to talk them off the ledge. For crap sake, be good to each other. No need to walk around being a tool your whole life. Think about what makes you happy. Perhaps listening to a squad of idiots? | |||
| Cream, Acne, And Chapstick. Episode 92 | 05 Dec 2021 | 01:10:23 | |
It's that time of week. Time for some Slaptail Squad. We apologize in advance for sound issues. This week we had a guest but there were connection issues but we felt the content still needed to be heard. We start you right off with garlic cream and butt talk, transitioning to acne treatment, use of chapstick and personal hygiene. All the stupid content you are used to from the Slaptail Squad. We hope that we can make you laugh, or maybe just roll your eyes. | |||
| Let's Try Some Stand - Up Comedy And Talk About The Netflix Show Pose. Episode 91 | 28 Nov 2021 | 01:29:47 | |
Tromondae refused to fall for it so we don't get to hear his 2-minute comedy bit. Apparently he is not susceptible to the Jedi-mind trick. The Beaveman does his brief bit and the Ronz rambles on like some senile weirdo. Then they talk about the show Pose on Netflix and, as usual, the Ronz didn't watch the show. They have fun making fun of him and the Beaveman tries to find out how well Tromondae and Swan know him by guessing which character he finds attractive. Let's face it, the squad is a collection of idiots. Thanks for joining us. | |||
| Beaveman's Weekly Observations. Episode 90 | 21 Nov 2021 | 01:13:36 | |
This week the Beaveman demonstrates the Jedi mind trick on the Ronz. They talk about the Beaveman's weekly observations from donuts to trash bags. Does anyone else get annoyed by underwear? Let's see if you can relate. | |||
| Evolve Your Comedy But Don't Dictate Mine. Episode 89 | 14 Nov 2021 | 01:18:46 | |
Beaveman goes off. Comedy is about entertaining and self-expression. The views you hold now or what you consider funny today, may change in as little as a day. It is about personal growth. It is also about tolerance. In this podcast the Beaveman expresses himself and relates that he believes growth is important but that comedians do not have to dictate what other comedians do. He also complains about how everyone seems to kiss the butt of Jerry Seinfeld and seem to be forced to change their opinions if they differ from his. Enjoy the podcast, and express yourself. Comedy is not a weapon. It is for enjoyment. Thanks for listening Jerry. | |||
| Has Ronz created the next summer blockbuster promo? Episode 88 | 07 Nov 2021 | 01:05:44 | |
You may have heard the scary stories last week and perhaps you were super confused by the Ronz' story. So were we. This week we asked him to send us a copy so we could read it and interpret it. It was not a story exactly, but we think it would be a decent movie promo. Now he just has to write to movie. The Ronz also babbles on about being a blackbelt, of course, and asks questions about how to discipline students. Join Beaveman and Swan as they delve into the creative mind of the Ronz. | |||
| Halloween 2021. Episode 87 | 31 Oct 2021 | 01:19:04 | |
Here was the assignment, write or share a personal scary story. Did we expect them to be good? Of course not. If they were good, we wouldn't have anything to make fun of. So, mission accomplished. Have a safe and happy Halloween everyone. Thank you for listening. | |||
| The Slaptail Squad's Monster's Lair bonus content: Le Nain Rouge | 11 Aug 2024 | 01:16:56 | |
It's a swooshy pants bonus episode! On this episode, JD, the Trailer Park Monster and Dark Lord of Brown-town takes the lead to bring the squad the story of Le Nain Rouge, the Red Dwarf of Detroit. If you like local lore, you may want to read up on this one because the squad continues to do what they do best, make idiotic comments and get distracted. Does the dwarf have a giant red hog? Does GiGi have impulse control issues, is Beaveman obsessed with islander ass? Guess you have to listen to find out. | |||
| Church changes and running for office. Episode 86 | 24 Oct 2021 | 01:05:44 | |
The Beaveman and Swan are bad Catholics. They know it, you know it, but does it really matter? If it does not matter, then why do they get hung up on changes? Also, have you ever wondered if the choices you make will affect the ones you love if they ever decide to run for office? Should you change what you do or who you are? | |||
| Soup Is For Girls. Episode 85 | 17 Oct 2021 | 01:05:29 | |
That's right, soup is for girls and night pooping is a thing. It is just another ridiculous conversation for members of the Slaptail Squad. Just trying to share the idiocy with the world to bring a laugh or a smile. You can catch the Beaveman on the new Wisdom App as well for brief conversations about podcasting. Thanks for listening. | |||
| When I Die. Episode 84 | 10 Oct 2021 | 01:19:53 | |
On this episode the Beaveman tells the squad what to do with him when he dies, he ponders the farewell til Valhalla, and of course, he makes fun of the Ronz when he puts his foot in his mouth. Of course they also talk about completely arbitrary subjects like vampires and werewolves. Team Jacob! We dedicate this episode to the memory of an amazing friend and fellow Paratrooper Chris Simons. Old paratroopers never die, they just slip away. Airborne! I love you brother. | |||
| Swan Is An Athlete, Beaveman Is Not. Episode 83 | 03 Oct 2021 | 01:12:59 | |
Ronz pathetically attempts to insult the Army by telling a lame story about Ninjas. The Beaveman is intrigued by roadkill by region, and the Swan insists she is an athlete but the Beaveman does not agree. It is going to get loud. Is Tromondae the voice of reason? | |||
| Bible Stories And Humanoid Sex Robots. Episode 82 | 26 Sep 2021 | 01:21:33 | |
The Beaveman reveals to the squad that he still believes many of the stories from the bible that he learned as a child no matter how ridiculous they seem. They reveal that the Swan knows nothing about American folklore and that she would be relieved if sex robots were real because she would make sure that Beaveman had two of them. Finally they allow Ronz to rant but quickly shoot him down and tell him that his personal opinion is stupid and wrong. Hey Siri! Did Noah... | |||
| Ivermectin For Morons. Thanks For Listening Joe Rogan. Episode 81 | 19 Sep 2021 | 01:19:38 | |
On this episode the idiots discuss the use of Ivermectin and bust on people that do not believe in science. Seriously people, if the Beaveman tells you kitty litter in your pee-hole will prevent COVID 19, would you do that? Then why are you trying to harm yourself by ingesting bs? They also ponder the question of whether or not you should powder your package. Finally the Beaveman opens himself up to a ridiculous challenge. Seriously though, we hope Joe Rogan is really just a persona and is not ingesting substances unnecessarily. We want folks to be safe and make it through this. Enjoy! | |||
| Aggressive Aren't They/Thanks for listening Keanu! Episode 80 | 12 Sep 2021 | 01:14:03 | |
Do you have a dollar? If so you can get your prostate exam in aisle 3. The Beaveman thinks it is funny that retail locations are interested in providing healthcare but the squad thinks it is a great idea. First the Beaveman is self-deprecating and to make himself feel better he busts on Ronz. Maybe he can get plastic surgery at a retail store. They are just having fun. Why? Because they are idiots. | |||
| Pretty Fast For A Biped: Attempting The 7 - Minute Mile. Episode 79 | 05 Sep 2021 | 01:05:18 | |
The Ronz attempted the 7-minute mile. Was he successful? Guess you just have to listen to find out. We chat about Pokemon briefly and the new obsession Ronz and Swan have with Pokemon go. Thank you to all of our listeners for your support. | |||
| Ronz And The Beaveman Are Sleep Deprived. Episode 78 | 29 Aug 2021 | 01:21:09 | |
The Ronz and the Beaveman are sleep deprived. It seems like a competition for Ronz. He wants to prove he sleeps less. Who has the shorter temper? Who can be the bigger dick? Guess you have to listen to find out. | |||
| Training For The 7 - Minute Mile And Drinking Pop. Episode 77 | 22 Aug 2021 | 01:22:32 | |
On this episode, after a brief chit-chat about the Beaveman's new hobby of cutting with the medieval sword, the squad questions Ronz about training for his 7-minute mile. Truly the Ronz is a highly confident individual because he believes that his job will get him in good enough shape to run the mile. Who thinks he can do it? Apparently just the Ronz. We can't wait to see. You will know by episode 77. Thank you all fo listening and being members of the great Slaptail nation! | |||
| What's my superpower? Last episode of season 5 | 30 Jun 2024 | 01:18:17 | |
It's the final episode of season 5. Time for most of the squad to kick back and relax for the summer. We top off season 5 with our typical idiocy. The squad unites to talk about super powers, real and imagined. What is your actual super power? Do you have one? You have to listen to Ronz and GiGi. Both, bullshit. Ronz's is bullshit because he is clueless. GiGi's is bullshit, because it's bullshit. According to the Beaveman. His may be the only one that is accurate. Not much of a superpower, but definitely a power he possesses, or at least a character flaw, from a certain point of view. Get ready for some special content during the break and for season 6 to start back up in September. Happy summer! | |||
| 7 Minute Mile. Episode 76 | 15 Aug 2021 | 01:11:03 | |
Ever wonder if you could run a 7-minute mile after training for just two weeks? The Ronz says he can do it. Have your parents requested to be your friends on facebook or other social media accounts? How did you respond? Are feet gross? Do you wash your feet? Oh by the way, Swan wants to punch a kid and the Beaveman likes to say ridiculous things in the car. This is just some of the ridiculous subjects the Slaptail Squad likes to discuss. Thanks for joining our collective insanity. | |||
| That's Gross, But Ronz Does Not Fear It. Episode 75 | 08 Aug 2021 | 01:26:07 | |
Ronz is a man of little fear. Most likely because he was in the U.S. Air Force and because he is a black belt. However, the Beaveman and Swan have fear. Is the Beaveman trying to scare everyone with his talk about disease and death? Maybe, but most likely he is just trying to entertain. Do you want to know about the ways in which you can die from a dental infection? Well, you won't learn from this podcast because Ronz can't stay focused. Listen anyway. At least you can hear us talk about Karate in the Olympics. We all know you only listen to hear what ridiculous crap spews from Ronz's mouth anyway. Thanks for listening! | |||
| It's Colon Prep Time. Episode 74 | 01 Aug 2021 | 01:21:12 | |
It's that time, colon prep time. The Beaveman has to go in for a colonoscopy. We talk about his prep and fears. We also investigate the Ronz and his obvious repressed rage. Join us for a typical conversation with the squad. Are we idiots? Of course we are. What have you come to expect? | |||