Explore every episode of the podcast The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss
Dive into the complete episode list for The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.
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Title
Pub. Date
Duration
Australia Update 1: Distracted by kookaburras
10 Nov 2025
00:49:24
#139. How's our big trip going so far? This is where you find out.
Welcome to The Silent Why - usually a podcast on a mission to open up honest conversations around grief and explore whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss - but right now, things are a little different!
If you've heard the previous episode, you'll have a good idea what this one is going to be all about.
We (Chris & Claire, your hosts) are on an adventure halfway around the world, spending some time down under. In this episode, we update you on our trip so far via Singapore to Western Australia.
And since recording (just a few hours ago), we've already remembered plenty of things we forgot to mention; like how warm the sea was in Singapore, the unexpectedly delicious ice cream sandwiches (thanks Mel!), the luge rides, the different Maltesers, and the glorious abundance of Earl Grey tea over here.
No doubt those stories, and many more, will make their way into a future episode.
So far we've seen and experienced some amazing things, but we've also had some disappointments, and you know us - we love to share it all with you, so tune in, and join us.
Plus, for videos of the kookaburra and bobtail lizard we mention, find us on social media.
Chris & Claire chat Oz, mini mics, Bin Chickens and a special form
30 Sep 2025
00:38:43
#138. We're off on an Ozzie adventure!
But, first things first, as promised, the all-important anonymous form: 👉 https://forms.gle/LmFrrd4xvvnEhG5R9 👈 (it'll make sense when you've listened to the episode!)
Welcome to The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
This episode is a little different, because we recorded in an unusual location about a very unusual topic!
We (Chris & Claire) are embarking on an adventure. For the rest of this year, we won’t be releasing our usual fortnightly episodes - primarily because we’re heading down under for a while - but this doesn't mean we'll be Silent. Why?
Listen to find out.
Oh, and about that ticking clock… no, you’re not going mad - I don't think you can hear it!
#137. Can losing a friend be overlooked in our culture? What happens when the friend who knew you best is gone? And why are there so few resources to help with this kind of grief?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #65 of 101: Loss of a friend
In this episode, we meet Hannah Rumsey from Chicago. She's the founder of Friends Missing Friends, a community she created for people navigating the loss of a friend. And Hannah’s work grew out of her own story, when in 2015 her best friend Lauren died suddenly.
Hannah shares about the deep bond she and Lauren had, Lauren’s incredible zest for life, and the devastating way she first learned of her death - while posting a birthday message on Facebook.
Together, we explored the unique challenges of grieving a friend, and why this grief can feel invisible or minimised, how few resources exist for friend-loss grief, despite how common it is, and the surprising ways healing, and hope, can unfold over time.
This is a heartfelt and open conversation about a form of grief that isn’t often acknowledged, yet touches so many lives.
And for listeners who enjoyed my behind-the-scenes episode on how to make a podcast - there's a little bonus in this episode - some unedited audio that shows just how in sync Chris and I are with our questioning. 👌
#136. (We'll... we've actually done 226 episodes in total. You'll hear me talk about the annoying decision around episode numbering in this 226th episode!)
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
This episode is a little different. No blog, no interview, no Chris, and no focus on loss. It’s just you and me, pulling back the curtain for a behind-the-scenes peek at how I create this podcast.
I often get asked: - What does it really take to produce an episode? - Can podcasting make money? - How do you find guests?
Today, I’m answering those questions (and more) while walking you through my own process of hosting, producing, and publishing a show.
Plus, if you’ve ever thought about starting your own podcast, this episode will give you a real sense of the time, effort, and resources involved. As well as some lessons I’ve learned along the way.
A huge thank you to everyone who supports this podcast and helps keep it going.
Special gratitude goes to our “I Love The Silent Why” members and above, on Buy Me a Coffee, who not only get a shout-out on the website but deserve a mention here too: Evelyn Calaunan, Peter Ellis, Jackie Waring, Diane Fopp, Greg Williams, and Emily Luckham. You’re amazing, and I’m so grateful for you.
Thanks also to those who support through one-offs or other levels on Buy Me a Coffee, and of course to everyone who tunes in each week. I truly couldn’t do this without you.
To learn more about the show, about Chris and me, our childless journey through loss, Herman, and everything else, visit: www.thesilentwhy.com
BLOG REWIND: My Why: Accepting a life I don't want
19 Aug 2025
00:23:57
#135. How do we accept, and live with, a life we never really wanted?
Welcome to another My Why Blog episode - where I share the audio version of my latest blog post. But in this case, it’s actually a re-release of the most popular blog episode I’ve ever put out (to my surprise!).
If you’ve been listening a while, you’ll know I usually pause podcasting in August to focus on writing and other projects. But this August is a little different, and I explain why in the intro.
This post grew out of a rather heavy Easter weekend, when I found myself asking questions like: What if life never turns out the way we hoped? If acceptance feels impossible, how do we ever begin to heal and move forward?
I suspect more people than we realise are quietly wrestling with these same questions. Grieving the life you imagined, and learning to accept the one you have, is not easy. And while I don’t claim to have figured it out yet, I’m convinced it’s a vital step if we want to keep moving forward.
Let's Chat... Finding hope as a widow (Rachel Powell)
05 Aug 2025
00:59:30
#134. Let's chat... about finding hope after feeling hopeless as a young widow.
Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I (Claire Sandys) sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.
In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with Rachel Powell from Colorado. She’s a life coach, speaker, author, and founder of Hope Speaker, where she supports widows in moving from a place of hopelessness and loneliness to one of healing, and confident steps forward.
Rachel lost her husband, Andre, to suicide in June 2019, and she was left raising four children: their two-year-old daughter and three of her biological nieces and nephew.
In this conversation, Rachel shares how hard this journey was for her and the darkness that led her to attempt to take her own life.
But as a person who's passionate about hope, we also talk about how she found hope again, what part her Christian faith has played in her healing, and why she now speaks so passionately about her experience.
Rachel’s faith has been a big part of her healing, and while we don’t often delve into religion on this podcast, it’s important to see the different ways people find hope through grief. This episode is a powerful reminder that faith in God doesn’t guarantee an easier path.
Rachel offers wisdom and encouragement for all of us — whether you’ve experienced partner loss or are simply wondering what that journey might look like.
For more about Rachel, and the resources we mention, visit:
#133. “Grief isn’t sad – because it reminds you to make the most of today.” Curious about how Richard has reached this conclusion after losing his wife? Hit play and find out.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #64 of 101: Loss of a wife
In this episode, we meet Richard Smith, whose wife Heather died of breast cancer in 2014, leaving him as a solo parent to their three children, aged 15, 14, and 11.
Recorded on the exact anniversary of Heather’s death, Richard opens up about the past 11 years of navigating his grief as a widower, the evolving nature of loss, and how he keeps Heather's presence alive in a way that continues to shape his life today.
In this conversation, we explored the emotional journey of losing a partner (while raising grieving children), how grief has changed for Richard over the last decade, the difference between sadness and grief, and why Richard sees grief as a meaningful part of life.
This episode is a profound reflection on love, loss, and resilience, offering comfort and perspective to any of us facing grief.
The (even more) Silent Why (& the Mediterranean Sea)
08 Jul 2025
00:06:41
#132. Life is hectic. Sometimes we simply need to stop for a moment. And that’s what this short episode is all about.
Oh, and the beautiful sounds of the Mediterranean Sea that I recorded when we were in Cyprus.
Welcome to The Silent Why podcast, here to help you navigate loss and grief, and possibly... find hope.
These very short, episodes will pop up every now and then to help you take a moment to check in and see how you're really feeling.
Less than 7 minutes total, including 2 minutes of time for you and you alone - join me (Claire Sandys, podcast host) in an imaginary place and allow yourself to press pause on life for a short while.
And for this episode, I'm asking you to sit on the beach with me in Cyprus, in front of the Mediterranean Sea, as the water laps at our feet, and just take a moment to pause.
Let's Chat... Where does the love go when someone dies (with David Kelly)
24 Jun 2025
01:19:07
#131. Let's chat... about where the love goes when someone dies. Can you still be 'in love' if it's not reciprocated? Does it eventually fade? Or die?
Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I (Claire Sandys) sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.
In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with David Kelly from Hertfordshire, who works as a Community Engagement Coordinator at Rennie Grove Peace Hospice Care.
David reached out after a previous conversation Chris & I had on the podcast about love and grief. We’d asked: Where does the love go when someone dies? David offered such a thoughtful response on an Instagram message that I invited him on the podcast to explore it further.
David shares from both personal experience - having lost his wife, Beverly, to cancer - and his deep understanding of grief models. Together, we unpack questions around love after loss: Does it stay the same? Can it fade? What does it mean to continue loving someone who’s gone? How does it work when we find new love? Can you love two people with all your heart?
This is a thoughtful, moving conversation about grief, love, and how we try to make sense of both.
Links from David for more information on what he shared:
Loss 63/101: Loss through chronic illness and lupus: Olivia Abousaid
10 Jun 2025
00:56:47
#130. Not all losses are bereavements. Sometimes they follow a diagnosis and impact someone for the rest of their life, like with our guest in this episode.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to explore grief, asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #63 of 101: Loss through chronic illness - Lupus
In this episode, we meet Olivia Abousaid - a grief coach based in Los Angeles who lives with the autoimmune disease Lupus. Olivia shares the lesser-seen grief that comes with chronic illness - losses that don’t always get named or acknowledged.
We explore the impact of Lupus on daily life and identity, the challenging task of letting go of independence and learning to ask for help, navigating invisible grief as both a coach and a patient, the mental weight of “shoulds” and societal expectations, and finding agency and hope amidst physical limitations.
From missing out on sunny afternoons with friends to facing the fatigue that alters routines and dreams, Olivia’s story speaks to anyone who has experienced loss through ill health, medical diagnosis, or an unexpected change in life’s trajectory.
This is a powerful conversation about learning to grieve what’s gone, while choosing to hope in what remains.
Chris & Claire's top takeaways from 20 years of marriage
27 May 2025
01:15:44
#129. What are the most valuable things we've learnt - or think really matter - after 20 years of marriage?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
On 26 May 2025, we celebrated 20 years of marriage! It's a big deal for us as we love being married and find we don't have that much to celebrate in life! So we decided to sit down and discuss what we've learnt over the past two decades, and share what we believe have been the most important ingredients in keeping our marriage as healthy and strong as possible.
And since we host a podcast, we thought 'why not record it for you to hear too?'
So that's exactly what we did. No editing (just the music and usual polish), a Sunday afternoon chat - published on Monday night.
In the build-up, we each wrote down our top five things we think have made the biggest difference in our relationship, but we didn’t share them with each other in advance. Were there overlaps? Surprises? Disagreements? You'll have to listen to find out!
Flexing your mental muscles is like training your body - it takes time and consistency. But once you start, they grow stronger and more reliable. In this episode, I’m sharing the tips and tools that helped me through tough times, including practical ways to stay grounded and protect your sanity and your relationships.
Think of this as a mental workout: exercises to support you when your mind feels hormonal/confused/frustrated/depressed/griefy [you fill in the gap].
If you’re aware that you’re not always your best self - snapping at loved ones, stuck in negative thought spirals, or simply struggling to cope with your own mind - this episode is for you. (And if you’re supporting someone who’s feeling that way, it might help you too.)
Loss 62/101: Loss through menopause: Diane Danzebrink
29 Apr 2025
01:16:04
#127. Think menopause is just a physical change? What if we told you it can also bring grief, loss of identity, and a hit to your mental health?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #62 of 101: Loss through menopause
In this episode, we welcome Diane Danzebrink, advocate, educator, and author of Making Menopause Matter. Diane experienced surgical menopause following surgery related to a potential ovarian cancer diagnosis in 2012. What followed was a mental and emotional decline that she never expected, and a battle few talk about openly.
This topic is especially close to our hearts. In 2019, Claire (your host) was also thrust into surgical menopause following a total hysterectomy, so we’ve been waiting to find the right person to speak to about the unique grief and loss tied to menopause. And we definitely found her!
Diane brings both lived experience and professional dedication to this conversation. She works tirelessly to support women through the often-invisible losses of menopause while campaigning for improved education, awareness, and support.
In this heartfelt episode, Diane speaks openly about the loss of identity, confidence, stability, and mental health, and how she ultimately transformed her pain into purpose.
Whether you’re going through menopause, supporting someone who is, or simply want to better understand this transition, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and hope.
Let's Chat... The Adventure of Grief (with Bianca Neumann)
15 Apr 2025
00:53:26
#126. Let's Chat... about seeing grief as an adventure.
Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.
In this episode, I (Claire) have the pleasure of talking with Bianca Neumann, the Assistant Director of Bereavement at Sue Ryder – a charity dedicated to providing the right support, at the right time, for people who are end of life or grieving.
We explore the idea of grief as an adventure - what it is, what it isn’t, and how we can navigate its unfamiliar terrain. Bianca shares insights on how grief is often misrepresented, the power of support groups, and why learning to self-soothe in sorrow matters.
We also talk about the idea that while we can’t choose our losses, we can choose how we respond. And we reflect on one powerful question: What do you want from life?
Also, Bianca adds a tool to my metaphorical shed, which is bursting with resources to help us grow through grief.
For more about Bianca and Sue Ryder's work (including their Grief Kind Spaces), visit:
#125. What impact can possessions have on grief? The lack of them, the loss of them, too many of them etc.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring asking if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #61 of 101: Loss of possessions
In this episode we welcome Naomi Westerman, a playwright, screenwriter, and author from South East London. Naomi's experienced profound loss from a young age, and with that, the difficult task of sorting through her loved ones’ possessions.
Naomi shares about the emotional weight of dealing with a parent's belongings after they die, the unexpected and sometimes painful discoveries made during this process, and how our personal experiences, relationships, and circumstances shape the way we interact with these items.
She also talks openly about her two-year journey to sort through her mum’s house and the surprising childhood object she still treasures, and the special jumper she chose for her dad’s burial.
Naomi has also wrestled with the difficult "why" questions that can arise in grief – Why me? Why did this happen? So, she shares with us what has helped her find healing, connection, and hope.
To find out more about Naomi and her book, Happy Death Club, visit:
Let's Chat... Writing and running through grief (with Justin Creps)
18 Mar 2025
00:54:18
#124. Let's Chat... about how writing and running can help us through grief.
Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I sit down with guests who have personal insight into different aspects of loss.
In this episode, I (Claire) have the pleasure of talking with fellow podcaster and writer, Justin Creps. Justin is a teacher based in Ohio and co-hosts the podcast Writing in Progress, which is how I first discovered him.
Justin and I share a deep love for podcasting and writing - though he’s also an avid runner, which is where our similarities take a sharp turn! But when I learned how both writing and running helped him process grief, I was keen to chat about it.
Justin had shared a powerful blog post with me, one he wrote in 2022 about navigating the grief of his wife’s miscarriage. His story is a moving reminder that we all process loss in our own ways, and it sparked an important conversation about the role of creativity in grief.
In this episode, we explore writing as a tool for processing grief (fiction or nonfiction), how life’s hardest moments shape us as writers, the unexpected ways helping others can also help us heal, and how running plays an important role in Justin’s journey.
This is an honest, heartfelt conversation about grief, resilience, and the power of storytelling. I can’t wait for you to hear it.
#123. Can hope be found in 101 different types of loss?
We're well on our way to finding out, as we reach another milestone!
We've hit loss number 60 on our mission to explore 101 different types of permanent loss, meaning we only have 41 (!) to go. Now over halfway to our goal.
In this episode, we (Chris & Claire Sandys) pause briefly to discuss life in general (something new we thought we'd try!), the last batch of losses (51-60), and what nuggets of wisdom we've taken from each guest.
We're loving every second of talking to others on this podcast, but we're also learning a lot about healthy ways to process our own grief, whether childlessness, pets, relatives, friends, health, or even just the day-to-day losses we sometimes face.
And the not-yet-famous-but-might-be-one-day 'Hermontage' is back! As we, once again, mix together the last 10 guests' Hermans. If you don't know what a Herman is, check out the link below.
Huge thanks to Thea Rickard, Mark Field, Laura Burns, Lisa Newman, Kay Backhouse, Jared Altic, Rachel Hart, Dannie-Lu Carr, Ken Anderson and Bex Eyles.
If you'd like to see our guests and encourage them, pop over to our social media for the latest collage of their lovely faces and hit 'like'.
Let's Chat... How Covid-19 changed death rituals (with Natasha Mikles)
18 Feb 2025
00:46:29
#122. Let's Chat... about how the Covid pandemic reshaped important death rituals.
These 'Let’s Chat' episodes are conversations with guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss.
In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to Natasha Mikles who is an assistant professor at Texas State University.
Natasha is a scholar of stories about death and what happens next, and researches traditions related to death and grief around the world (especially in Tibet and the Americas). Her most recent book, ‘Shattered Grief: How the Pandemic Transformed the Spirituality of Death in America’, examines how Covid-19 affected the spirituality of death and the grieving rituals surrounding it.
Grief is not just a personal experience, it is a community journey shaped by rituals that connect us to the dead and each other. This conversation reveals how Covid-19 drastically altered the rituals we rely on during loss, redefining our understanding of mourning.
We explore the fascinating world of death rituals across different cultures, including the Tibetan sky burial ceremony. Natasha and I reflect on how the pandemic forced religious communities to innovate, balancing tradition with contemporary needs, often using technology as a bridge to maintain connection in times of isolation.
This episode discusses the vital role of community in mourning, the psychological impact of Covid-related deaths, the importance of ritual, how other cultures and religions honour and recognise death, and how Covid-grief can differ from other forms of grief.
Plus, how you can have your body eaten by vultures in the US ...legally!
Loss 60/101: Loss in happy life transitions: Bex Eyles
04 Feb 2025
00:55:52
#121. Go on, be honest, can you understand why someone who's getting remarried, or celebrating a miracle pregnancy, or beginning a new job, might be experiencing some unhappiness alongside the cheer?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, exploring whether hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #60 of 101: Loss in happy life transitions
In this episode, we meet Bex Eyles from Berkshire in England. She's a professional counsellor who joined us to talk about the sneaky grief that can weave its way into life’s celebrations.
And we feel it’s important to say that just because grief can show up in these moments it doesn’t mean joy and gratitude aren’t there too. Bex, like so many others, has felt immense happiness and gratitude in her life’s changes, but she’s also honest about the unexpected emotions that surfaced at the same time, and we're really grateful she was happy to explore these with us.
Bex has navigated bereavement, divorce, fertility struggles and loss of time, and opens up about the unexpected emotions like fear, loss and guilt, that came with suddenly being pregnant after believing it might never happen. She talks about the joy, the fear of finally having what she longed for, and how, as a counsellor, she navigated her grief and processed these complex feelings.
Acknowledging the emotions of loss in a joyful life transition doesn’t diminish the happiness or gratitude felt in those moments. Both can coexist, and that’s okay.
Chris & Claire's Reflections on Christmas & New Year
21 Jan 2025
00:48:18
#120. Well, after our 'looking ahead to Christmas' episode, how did it go? Were our festive hearts filled with joy? Or were there tears?!
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.
Every year, we dedicate an episode to sharing our thoughts and feelings about the Christmas season - before, and after, it happens. Now that the holiday buzz has settled and a new year has begun, we’re back to reflect on how Christmas 2024 unfolded, whether our intentional choices helped us enjoy it, and how we’re stepping into 2025.
Includes; Sherlock Holmes, cinnamon buns, advent calendars, and Chris' meat monologue explaining Meat Chicken!
And if you want some questions to reflect on as you enter a new year, here's the 10 we mention in the episode:
1. Personal high moment/experience for you individually this year. 2. Personal lowest moment of the year. 3. Joint best memory 4. Joint hardest memory. 5. Biggest personal dream you have for the future. 6. Biggest fear you have for the future. 7. Something you don't want to take into next year. 8. Something you really want to take into next year. 9. 3 things you want to achieve this year. 10. 3 things you want to stop/be better at/improve on.
To listen to our pre-Christmas episode, 'Chris and Claire's Chatty Christmas Catch-up', visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/793f6bd9/chris-and-claires-chatty-christmas-catch-up
#119. Life is hectic. Sometimes we simply need to stop for a moment. And that’s what this short episode is all about.
Oh, and the beautiful sounds of a distant thunderstorm that I recorded in Belgium.
Welcome to The Silent Why podcast, here to help you navigate loss and grief, and possibly... find hope.
These very short, episodes will pop up every now and then to help you take a moment to check in and see how you're really feeling.
Less than 7 minutes total, including 2 minutes of time for you and you alone - join me (Claire Sandys, podcast host) in an imaginary place and allow yourself to press pause on life for a short while.
And for this episode I'm asking you to sit by a window with me and watch the beautiful storm on the horizon from our Air BnB in Belgium. Listen to the rain and thunder, watch the lightning and take a moment to think about things as you enter a new year.
#118. Struggling with the festive season? You're not alone. As a childless couple, we've been there too, especially when family is at the heart of so many celebrations.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.
Every year we release an episode where we chat about how we're feeling about Christmas. We started with an episode in 2021, talking about how hard it felt and Chris' loss of Christmas spirit, then we did another in 2022 (Finding Comfort at Christmas - which included other podcast guests' experiences), and in 2023 we had 'Chris & Claire chat Christmas and Childlessness', and now here we are again with all things Christmassy, Chrissy and Clairey.
In this episode we chat about how we're finding the lead up to Christmas this year, how we feel about being childless and how that's changed over the years, what our hopes are going forwards, and lots of other stuff that pops up.
Including, a flu-inspired Chris yelling 'Mistletoe' a few times!
All the other Christmas and New Year episodes and blogs we mention, that you might want to check out if you're struggling this year, can be found on one page:
Loss 59/101: Loss of a police career and self-worth: Ken Anderson
10 Dec 2024
01:05:44
#117. What do you do when the career you love is gone, and you're barely staying afloat? And why is helping yourself so much harder than helping others?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #59 of 101: Loss of a police career and self worth
In this episode, we meet Ken Anderson from York, England; a retired police officer whose life took an unexpected turn after a nearly 20-year career as a response officer, firearms officer, and trainer.
Ken's front-line career came to an abrupt end after a serious car crash, during a police chase, which left him injured. What followed was a deeply challenging period of his life. In July 2023, Ken hit rock bottom as he struggled with depression, self-doubt, and the heartbreak of losing the "police family" he cherished.
But this isn’t just a story about loss—it’s about hope. Ken shares how three simple words—“Are you OK?”—were a turning point that prevented him ending his life.
Today, he’s transforming his pain into purpose, advocating for mental health awareness and meaningful connection.
This conversation is a raw and honest look at:
The emotional toll of emergency service careers
How to navigate the depths of depression and loss
The power of reaching out and supporting one another in times of need
We also explore how Ken is finding new purpose and meaning after such a profound life shift.
And of course, we wrap up with our signature question: What’s your Herman? Curious to learn more? Visit thesilentwhy.com/herman.
Let's Chat... Grieving out loud on social media (with Rebecca Feinglos)
19 Nov 2024
00:49:41
#116. Let's Chat... about what it looks like when we use social media to show and share our grief.
These 'Let’s Chat' episodes are conversations with guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss.
In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to Rebecca Feinglos in North Carolina who is a certified grief support specialist and the founder of Grieve Leave - which offers grief support, education and training for workplaces.
By the age of 31, Rebecca had lost both her parents and was dealing with the end of her marriage, these losses led her to take a year off to process them all, which is what she called her Grieve Leave.
During this time, Rebecca started blogging about her grief and its popularity eventually led her to set up Grieve Leave as an organisation in 2021 to help others. This online community now has an impressive 30,000 members worldwide, who all share their grief, or are looking to help others who are grieving, particularly through the use of social media.
With her experience of seeing and sharing grief online, I was keen to talk to Rebecca about grief in the online world. Does it help or hinder us? How has the internet opened up new areas of grieving for us? And how do we accept those? There's a lot of ground covered in this chat, including raccoons (!) and a question I've never asked before in a Let’s Chat episode (for you regular listeners, see if you can work out what it is.)
Loss 58/101: Loss through precocious (early) puberty: Dannie-Lu Carr
05 Nov 2024
00:47:44
#115. Have you ever considered the losses that might be encountered by going through puberty early? Have you even heard of precocious puberty? Let alone think about it in the context of grief.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #58 of 101: Loss of agency over your body through precocious puberty
Meet Dannie-Lu Carr, who lives on the south coast of England in St Leonards-on-sea, and is an executive coach, author, singer-songwriter, actor and director.
Dannie-Lu went through precocious puberty (or early puberty) at the age of 8 years old, and she shares the subsequent losses she's encountered in her life since.
This is a very valuable conversation about an area of grief that people might not consider or know much about. We're hoping it will be a useful tool to help adults who might have children they know going through, but also to help anyone that went through it themselves and who is still processing what was taken from them through that experience.
Dannie-Lu shares about why it's only now, in her 40's, that she can talk about it, what she's learnt from it, how it's shaped how she sees herself (especially her body), and what she's gained from it.
BONUS EPISODE: My talk on grief and hope for All Souls' Day
29 Oct 2024
00:16:47
BONUS EPISODE TIME!
... and this episode contains something that I've never shared on the podcast before.
Welcome to The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.
Many of you will know that I (Claire Sandys, host) enjoy podcasting (of course!) and writing, and drinking Earl Grey tea and eating marzipan, but what you might not know is that I also occasionally speak at church gatherings.
This year I was asked to share something at the annual All Soul's service, which is specifically for people to come to remember those who have died. This usually takes place the week of Halloween, or as it used to be called All Hallows Eve.
So my remit for the talk was 10-15 mins on grief, loss, and the hope we have through our faith (you're starting to see why I was asked to do this, aren't you?!)
And because it was SO similar to what I also do on the podcast, and because maybe you are remembering a loved one you've lost, I thought I'd share it with you as a bonus episode.
Loss 57/101: Loss of a husband to suicide while pregnant: Rachel Hart
22 Oct 2024
00:41:54
#114. How does the grief of losing someone to suicide differ from other deaths? What emotions and questions does it raise? And what if it's your spouse who's died, and you're five months pregnant with his child?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #57 of 101: Loss of a husband to suicide while pregnant
Meet Rachel Hart, from Liverpool, who recalls the time she was five months pregnant and the police knocked on her door to tell her that her husband had been found dead. She was later told he had died by suicide.
Rachel is no stranger to grieving, having lost both her parents before her mid-30’s, but this kind of grief took her to a whole new level.
In this episode, Rachel shares about the blessing that the Covid lockdowns turned out to be (with a new baby), how she managed new emotions like anger that were tied in with her grief, and what people can say (and avoid saying!) when faced with a story like hers. Plus, she shares how and when hope returned to help her look to the future.
And we send many congratulations to Rachel (and her newly wed husband), because they got married within days of us recording this episode.
#113. Life is hectic. Sometimes we simply need to stop for a moment. And that’s what this short episode is all about.
Oh, and the beautiful sounds of the Eternal Forest in Wales…
Welcome to The Silent Why podcast, here to help you navigate loss and grief, and possibly... find hope.
These new, very short, episodes will pop up every now and then to help you take a moment to check in and see how you're really feeling.
7 minutes total, including 2 minutes of time for you and you alone - join me in an imaginary place and allow yourself to press pause on life for a short while.
And for this episode I'm asking you to come for a stroll with me down the peaceful paths of the Eternal Forest natural burial ground in North Wales, listen to the birds, the quiet, and nature just doing it's thing around you.
Loss 56/101: Loss in the role of a Police Chaplain: Jared Altic
24 Sep 2024
00:53:21
#112. What is it like doing chaplaincy work on the frontline with the police? Or experiencing the worst humans can do to each other up close?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #56 of 101: Loss in the role of a Police Chaplain
Meet Jared Altic, a returning podcast guest who is here to talk to us about what it's like to work as a full-time Pastor, voluntary Police Chaplain at his local police department in Kansas City, and podcaster.
Jared Altic has over 25 years of experience serving and counselling military and law enforcement families, responding to families of crime victims and working long term with police in areas of wellness. And we spoke to him over 2 years ago in a Let's Chat episode, and now he's back as part of our list of 101 losses.
In this episode Jared shares why why he does this kind of work, the challenges it can bring to his own wellbeing, how he makes sure his work doesn’t always get the best of him, and the toll being around death can take.
Yet, despite all the horrendous things Jared has witnessed, he’s still a strong believer in hope... for everyone.
#111. So, is grief selfish? I mean it's largely about something we're sad about. It's something we've lost or miss. So, is it a selfish thing?
Let's open up this can of worms, shall we?!
Welcome to another My Why from Claire Sandys (co-host of The Silent Why podcast). My Why episodes are audio versions of my latest blog post. If you'd prefer to read it, you can find it here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/is-grief-selfish
I overheard a conversation in a charity shop, and it really made me chew over this question all the way home - is grief selfish?
Does that question make you feel uncomfortable? Is it grief-podcast-suicide to suggest it might be selfish? Do we make grief all about us when we shouldn't? Is it possible to get stuck in grief in a selfish way? Do you assume the definition of selfish is always bad? Will people throw shocked faces at me just for posing this question?
#110. Do you find the summer hard, painful, a reminder of things you don't have?
Whether you have children, don't have children, go on holiday, don't go on holiday - things do shift a bit in this month, and because of that, things are a bit different at The Silent Why HQ too.
Welcome to another episode from me, Claire Sandys, host of The Silent Why podcast. This one is a bit of an update on what's happening over the next few weeks, and why.
I've decided to repeat what I did last year and take some time to focus on my writing over August, and I'm very excited about it. So this episode tells you a bit more about that, and just generally catches you up with all things Silent Why-y.
And don't forget you can support the show (and ultimately fuel my tea drinking while I'm writing over the summer) by visiting Buy Me A Coffee or buying a Herman to send to someone. 10% off in August with the code PODCASTLOVE.
Loss 55/101: Loss through a bad/complex death: Kay Backhouse
23 Jul 2024
00:58:52
#109. What if your loved one doesn't have a 'good' death? How do you cope with the trauma of witnessing someone suffer at the end of their life?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #55 of 101: Loss through a bad/complex death
In this episode we chat to Kay Backhouse, in Morecombe, Lancashire, about the death of her youngest brother, Syd, to neuroendocrine cancer in 2019.
Kay was living in Australia with her family when her brother was first diagnosed, and one day she received some unexpected communication from him that started a chain of events that led her back home.
Sadly, a couple of years later, in a hospice, with his family, Syd suffered a 'bad death' or 'complex death' which added an extra, very painful, level of grief and trauma to Kay's loss.
This is a subject you don't often hear discussed, so we're very grateful to Kay for chatting to us about her experience.
Kay believes that if she’d been better prepared, or educated, about deaths like this, then maybe the way her brother died wouldn't have been so traumatising.
She's now passionate to help others learn more about death, and we believe it's an important topic we should all be willing to learn about - not only in case we go through it, but also to help others.
And Syd's death has had a profound impact on Kay's personal and professional life; the way she views death, sees hope, spends her time, and views the future. This is a conversation that is anything but sad and depressing, it is a story of hope.
#108. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them.
So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard. And sometimes I go international (like this one) and sometimes Chris joins me (like this one).
Anyway, welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast).
In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Moorslede Communal Cemetery in Belgium.
Come with us to explore how different graves are in Belgium, and hear our thoughts as we look around a very crowded cemetery in Moorslede, but also a beautiful one we find on the other side of the road.
Let's Chat... Life in a hospice (with Maddy Bass & Kay Backhouse)
25 Jun 2024
00:59:09
#107. Let's Chat... about what day-to-day life is like working in, or visiting, a hospice.
Let’s Chat episodes chat to guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss. In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to Maddy Bass (Director of Nursing) and Kay Backhouse (Clinical Administrator) who both work at St John's Hospice in Lancashire.
Maddy has wanted to work with people who are dying all her life and is passionate about her work and providing the best possible care, and Kay has experienced the death of her brother in a hospice and since then has started volunteering at St John’s. So they’re the perfect pair to give us an insight into what life is like working in a hospice, but also what it’s like as the family members of someone who is having end of life care.
In this episode we chat about how it works when you need a hospice, who pays for it, what the atmosphere is like, why they’re so important, what’s their role compared to hospitals, what would they want people to know about hospices, and how working around grief and death affects their own dealings with it personally.
For more about St John's Hospice in North Lancashire & South Lakes, and some of their own podcast, visit: www.sjhospice.org.uk
#106. Ever felt the grip of serious addiction? Drink and drug addictions can destroy life, but what about the person in recovery who's celebrating being 'clean' while also having to accept the loss of the many things ruined by years of misuse?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.
Loss #54 of 101: Loss through addiction
We're so excited to share this episode, not only is it an episode that's been requested by those who have been through it, but it looks into a topic that is hugely connected to grief, yet so often overlooked - addiction.
Addiction can cause the loss of health, relationships, family, control, identity, freedom, money, homes, even life itself, and so much more. So when you reach recovery, and are then faced with all you've lost, how do you grieve that?
In this episode we chat to Lisa Newman from the beautiful town of Stroud in England. We've known Lisa for a few years and she agreed to come and talk to us about the loss and grief she’s experienced through addiction to alcohol and drugs.
Addiction entered her life when she was around 10 years old, and in the following decades it took her to some dark places which later saw her homeless, in prison and in-and-out of hospital.
Lisa shares her journey with us including; the grief of now being single and childless, the pain of watching friends have grandchildren, the precautions she has to take to use pain medication, the loss of friends to addiction, the pain and confusion for those around her, what recovery has been like, and the challenges of rebuilding a life while also mourning the loss of the life you thought you’d have.
This is a very honest and important conversation about the power of addiction, the power of being free/clean, but also the live-changing power of hope and gratitude.
BONUS EPISODE: Loss 53/101 Part 2: Jonathon & Laura Burns on alopecia, dating and hope through ill health
04 Jun 2024
00:19:27
BONUS EPISODE TIME!
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.
In last week's episode (Loss 53) we spoke to a friend of ours, Laura Burns, about alopecia and coming to terms with the loss of her hair, but she wasn't the only one sat in the podcast studio for that in-person interview.
Quietly perched in the corner was husband, Jonathon (a friend of ours, which is how we met Laura in the first place).
In the episode last week Laura shared about losing her hair at the age of 22 years old through alopecia (in 2011) and the challenges this can raise when dating and choosing what information to tell people and when.
[And you might want to hear that episode before listening to this one, link below].
So, we decided we wanted to chat to Jonathon as well, what's it been like from his side of things, and how has he navigated this with his own health challenges.
Both Laura and Jonathon have had more than their fair share of health conditions. Jonathon was born with renal failure and later had a kidney transplant, and Laura has had brain surgery more than once, so they're not strangers deep, difficult conversations.
In this chat, Jonathon shares his side of the 'wig flying off story', how he's managed his own health challenges, how they communicated about their health when dating, how they've found their way in marriage together, and what part faith has played in that.
How this couple are, and see life, despite all their health challenges, is truly inspiring.
Loss 53/101: Loss of hair through alopecia: Laura Burns
28 May 2024
00:36:08
#105. What's it like to suddenly start losing your hair at the age of 22? How open should you be about it when start dating?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.
Loss #53 of 101: Loss of hair through alopecia
Meet Laura Burns, a social worker for an anti modern-slavery charity, but also a friend of ours who lives in The Black Country. Laura married our friend Jonathon in 2022, and we had the privilege of being at their wedding.
This is only our second in-person interview, after nearly 200 podcast episodes! So it was very exciting to chat face-to-face with Laura in our podcast studio.
Alopecia first appeared in Laura’s life in 2011 when she was 22 years old. Alopecia areata is a disease that happens when the immune system attacks hair follicles and causes hair loss, and Laura explains the different types and which ones have affected her over the years.
Both Laura and Jonathon have had more than their fair share of health conditions. Jonathon was born with renal failure and later had a kidney transplant, and Laura has had brain surgery more than once. But it was only recently Laura told us she has alopecia, so we asked if she'd come and tell us about her experience, and she agreed. This was the first time we were hearing her story, so it was a real honour to record it for the podcast to share with you.
Laura talks about what kind of loss alopecia is, the journey to finding the right wig (pop over to our social media to see how gorgeous that is!), how she found the right man 😉, and how it's not always been easy to know what to share with others and when.
She also shares some of the more humorous moments, e.g. when her now-husband Jonathon first saw her without her wig - well worth tuning in for.
This is a very honest conversation about a very visual and complicated loss, especially because identity can be so closely connected to our hair. Laura shows us how hope can find a way in and how important gratitude has been to her.
Loss 52/101: Loss of life for a cardiac surgeon: Mark Field
14 May 2024
01:05:25
#104. What's it like to handle a human heart? Or to operate in that small space between life and death? And is there grief for a surgeon when a patient dies during, or after, surgery?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.
Loss #52 of 101: Loss of a life for a heart surgeon
Meet Mark Field, a cardiac surgeon from Liverpool (in the north of England) who joined me (Claire), in-between commitments at work, to talk about life, death and loss in heart surgery.
Now, this isn't a subject that's discussed much with surgeons, and you'll hear Mark say that even he had reservations talking about it, but it's such an important area to highlight. Just because you work in a career that encounters death, doesn't that mean you find it any easier to face than people in other jobs. And, like many other careers we've covered on the podcast, it's once again surprising how little training is provided to medical professionals when it comes to delivering the news of a patient’s death. Especially when people's responses to bad news are so varied.
I was introduced to Mark through the Aortic Dissection Charitable Trust, and knew this was a man I wanted to speak to when he sent me the best excuse for being late to a Zoom call ever. I received an email just after the start time had passed that simply said: “Sorry Claire. 5 minutes! Trying to prevent death!!”
In this conversation you'll hear about how hard it is when major operations don't end with a healthy recovery, how surgeons control (or don’t control) human emotions, the privilege of working with such a valuable organ, and why hope plays such an important role in Mark's job.
And because trying to co-ordinate the diaries of a journalist and a heart surgeon got really tricky, Chris wasn't able to join me in this episode, so I was flying solo for the first time in 53 losses.
If you want to hear how other careers handle dealing with death, visit www.thesilentwhy.com/letschat and scroll down to 'Jobs working with loss, grief and death' for a full list.
Loss 51/101: Loss of a dad ('that I don't know if I loved'): Thea Rickard
30 Apr 2024
00:46:20
#103. When a close family member dies, like a parent, it's easy to assume there was love there, but what if you're not sure if you loved that person, or even if they loved you, what does grief look like then?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.
Loss #51 of 101: Loss of a dad ('that I don't know if I loved')
And yes, this means that as we've reached Loss 51 - we're officially over halfway through our 101 loss list! Exciting! Check out all previous episodes online at www.thesilentwhy.com/101losses or see our last episode where we reflected on the previous ten stories of loss and grief. But there are also many more to go, so back to today's guest...
In this episode you'll meet Thea Rickard, from Bristol in England. Thea's in her twenties and lost her dad, Jonathan Rickard, when he was in his sixties in 2018. About a year ago she produced a short audio documentary called Our Dad (link below) which Chris listened to and then shared with me, because something she said caught his attention: 'Grieving for somebody, or the idea of somebody, who you’re not sure if you loved, is the hardest thing I’ve ever encountered.' Keen to explore what it's like to grieve someone you don't know if you loved, especially a parent, we invited her to talk about it with us on the podcast.
As Thea has reflected on her dad’s life, his relationship with alcohol, his dream to be an actor, the terrifying and the tender moments she's seen in him, she's had to explore what it's like to grieve for a man she wasn't sure if she loved, or even if he loved her. Like she said in her documentary: ‘It would be easier if he was “the villain” of the piece, but he’s not the antagonist in a story, he’s a human being.’
There is so much wisdom and empathy in this chat, well beyond Thea's years, so we know you’re going to appreciate this very honest conversation.
#102. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them. So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard (and sometimes Chris!).
Welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast).
In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Llanfair Talhaiarn Cemetery in North Wales.
Come with us to hear the sounds of the Welsh countryside (a.k.a. sheep!) and hear our thoughts as we look around a beautiful cemetery in a valley in the gorgeous Welsh countryside.
If you want to hear more episodes like this, check out:
#101. Another milestone reached! We've hit loss number 50 on our mission to explore 101 different types, meaning we only have 51 (!) to go. So we're just half an episode away from being halfway through all 101!
In this episode we (Chris & Claire Sandys) pause briefly to discuss the last batch of losses, 41-50, and what nuggets of wisdom we've taken from each guest.
We're loving every second of talking to others on this podcast, but we're also learning a lot about healthy ways to process our own grief, whether childlessness, pets, relatives, friends, health, or even just the day-to-day losses we sometimes face.
And the not-yet-famous-but-might-be-one-day 'Hermontage' is back! As we, once again, mix together the last 10 guest's Hermans. If you don't know what a Herman is, check out the link below.
Huge thanks to Losses 41-50: Lisa Kolb Ruland, Harry Kind, Chris Lord-Brown and Jonathen Harty (double guest episode), Samantha Langford, Margaret Reed Roberts, Jody Day, Jeanette Koncikowski, Julia Trehane, John Cronin and Catherine Fowler (another double guest episode), and Stephen Downes.
Plus, we end this episode with something very special - The Herman Song, sent to us by an avid Silent Why listener and supporter - John Cunningham.
If you'd like to see our guests and encourage them, pop over to our social media for the latest collage of their lovely faces and hit 'like'.
Loss 50/101: Loss of a left arm and shoulder: Stephen Downes
19 Mar 2024
00:53:34
#100. When you lose your dominant arm, what's worse, the emotional toll, or the physical loss?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to chat about grief and see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.
Loss #50 of 101: Loss of a left arm and shoulder
Meet Stephen Downes from Cornwall, who was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma at the age of 22 when he found a lump in his neck on Christmas Day, 1997. After intensive radiotherapy that seemed to be it, until he felt another lump in the same place in 2022.
Diagnosed as a myxofibrosarcoma (a rare malignant, cancerous, tumour) Stephen was told he would need to have his left arm, shoulder and three ribs removed or the cancer would kill him. Just weeks later he had a 14-hour operation to remove it all in Derriford Hospital (a teaching hospital with an integrated Ministry of Defence Hospital Unit).
This is a very honest conversation about a very big, and very recent loss. Stephen talks about how others have responded to his amputation, when he does and doesn't need help, whether he minds people asking about it, why this hasn't been the hardest loss he’s had to face, and what mentality keeps him going and persevering to do the things he loves - like surfing.
Navigating Mother's Day when you're childless... again.
09 Mar 2024
00:42:03
#099. Here it is again - Mother's Day.
As many mum's across the UK will be glowing with pride at the presents their children offer, other women will be wincing a little (or a lot) every time they see these words. Well, as a childless-not-by-choice (cnbc) woman I know how they feel, and I'm here to share how I'm learning to mark it without letting it mark me.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around loss and grief and to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss. It's hosted by me (Claire Sandys), with husband Chris joining in for the '101 loss list' episodes.
For this episode, I'm re-releasing a recording I did last year just after Mother's Day (with a newly added intro for you this year). I had decided to do things a little differently in 2023 and I just switched the microphone on and winged it! Working from a few notes I made on my Supernote, I chatted about why Mother's Day is a challenge, who struggles with it, how I get through it, how we can refocus it, and what I've found to be helpful along the way.
And don't forget if you know someone that really struggles with Mother's Day, why not send them a Herman? It doesn't have to arrive on the day, and it might be just the boost they need: www.thehermancompany.com
And if there are certain losses you'd like to learn more about from us, or our guests, scroll down the 'Let's Chat...' page on our website to the list of topics and you can see some of our episodes categorised there: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/letschat
Are you struggling at the moment? Do you feel lonely in what you're facing? If you answer "yes" then this episode is for you. However, if the answer is "not at the moment" then I also think it's for you too. And if life is just peachy keen right now, then you might still want to lean in, to be able to help those around you who are finding life tough.
Welcome to another My Why from Claire Sandys (co-host of The Silent Why podcast). My Why episodes are audio versions of my latest blog post. If you'd prefer to read it, you can find it here:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/yourenottheonlyone
If I said to you 'you're not the only one going through this' you might think I was stating the obvious or being a bit insensitive, but the reason a lot of us suffer for longer than we need to in grief, loss, ill-health etc is because on some level we DO believe we're completely alone in what we're going through.
This way of thinking is lonely and isolating, and can be more detrimental us that we realise. But when we really acknowledge that we're not alone in our grief, loss or pain, and start to connect with others in similar situations, it can be a powerful step on our way towards healing.
And that's what I want to help you with today - helping you feel less alone.
Let's Chat... Adding colour to funerals (with Jen Watson)
20 Feb 2024
00:44:11
#098. Let's Chat... about the amazing part that colour can play at a funeral.
Let’s Chat episodes are with guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss. In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to the very lovely Jen Watson, a Funeral Celebrant in Kent.
I first heard about Jen on our Funeral-Director-Work-Experience trip to North Wales. Back then she was known as Jen Wilkinson, but now she has a new name, a new patch to work on, and it was great to finally connect with her.
Jen setup JW Celebrancy in 2021 after qualifying as a Funeral Celebrant and has cultivated a very vibrant way to brand her services - which I was eager to chat to her about.
Jen offers empathetic and colourful services for bereaved families to help them share their loved one’s final life-story. She has a beautiful way of involving colours in a funeral (which leaves you desperate to get a glimpse at her wardrobe) and shares how she's developed this, and why she's never led a service in full black.
It's a great conversation that will make you smile and well-up, and inspire you when it comes to funeral planning, as well as give you a whole new take on how other people celebrate their loved ones when they die.
Loss 49/101: Loss of life in an Emergency Department: John Cronin & Catherine Fowler
06 Feb 2024
01:11:52
#097. When someone dies in hospital there's the loss of a patient, but there's also the grief of the family, so how does dealing with that grief differ, depending which side you're on?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.
Loss #49 of 101: Loss in an Emergency Department
In this episode, you'll meet two guests, each telling their side of the story about the death of a patient after emergency surgery.
Our first guest is Catherine Fowler, the daughter of Tim Fleming, who died of an aortic dissection in 2015 after being admitted to the Emergency Department in Dublin (where he was visiting on a work trip).
We’re also joined by John Cronin, a consultant in Emergency Medicine, who was on duty the day Tim was admitted, and aware of colleagues’ attempts to diagnose his condition.
However, our guests' paths didn't cross the day Tim died, they met much later as they both searched for answers about how aortic dissection is diagnosed and treated.
Seventy adults, of all ages, every week in the UK & Ireland, suffer an aortic dissection (when the aorta, the major artery in the body that carries blood from the heart, starts to tear). And sadly, only around half of these people survive.
What Catherine, John, and many others at The Aortic Dissection Charitable Trust have been working on since Tim's death is something we should all be thankful for, because it has massively changed the approach to diagnosing aortic dissection.
Many years ago, in 2021, The Silent Why podcast launched with one specific last question it wanted to ask all its 101 loss guests - What's your Herman?
Since then, it's been an exciting journey collecting Hermans (answers to this question). However, this year, in January 2024, I launched The Herman Company and all of a sudden (after a year of hard work!) Hermans became a real thing.
So, how and why did all this come about exactly? Well, that's what this episode is going to tell you.
Welcome to another My Why from Claire Sandys (co-host of The Silent Why podcast). My Why episodes are audio versions of my latest blog post. If you'd prefer to read it, you can find it here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/thestoryofherman
If you're new to the podcast and have no idea what a Herman is at all, then you might want to listen to/read this (super short) episode first: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/4b7bd2bc/whats-your-herman (you can also search on your podcast player for 'What's your Herman?')
This episode is about filling you in on how we got from just a question about Hermans to the real, live, little fellas being out in the world. It's the story of Herman.
#096. It's not just Christmas that can be a tough, heading into a New Year can be tricky too. And this year, even though we were very intentional about navigating a childless Christmas (and it went well), we hit New Year and for some reason the wheels fell off the apple cart!
We're Claire and Chris Sandys, hosts of The Silent Why podcast, lovers of deep conversation, building community and marzipan (that's mostly Claire).
We're also childless (not by choice) which adds a layer of discomfort to some of the popular family times of the year, and so we understand those that aren't fully engaging with the excitement of another year ahead.
In this episode we discuss together (for the first time since New Year) why we thought our New Year's Eve might have been a bit of a disappointment - and you get to listen in with us 😉. We also talk about how Christmas went, and introduce you to something very exciting that was launched by The Silent Why yesterday (8 Jan 2024)!
Yes, Hermans are now a real, physical thing, and they are available to pre-order (at a special price for this week only) from the website: www.thehermancompany.com. More on this in the episode but also on our social media (links below).
Sometimes our hope feels particularly weak or unstable as we head into a new year, especially if we've have a hard year behind us, or face a tough one ahead.
Welcome to another My Why from Claire Sandys (co-host of The Silent Why podcast). My Why episodes are audio versions of my latest blog post. If you'd prefer to read it, you can find it here:https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/knowhope
So because New Year isn't easy for everyone in 2021 I gathered together 10+1 Knows (taken from the Herman's our guests have shared on the podcast), to help you find something to hang your hope onto as the clock strikes midnight. And because we need hope every year I thought I'd share them again as we head into 2024.
#095. We all need hope, but where's yours at right now?
Welcome to the fifth small burst of hope, a hopelet if you will, from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why). This year I'm providing hopelets every day between Christmas Day and New Year's Eve 2023, to help you find/mend/replace/fix your hope.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to find hope through all kinds of grief, and at all times of year.
Hopelet 5 is all about cherishing our hope and why it's worth even bothering to invest our time, and heart, in hope at all.
On our social media hand illustrations this one gets the thumbs up. Literally.