The Sex After Kids Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

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Why do dads seem to shut down after kids,  or push for sex that doesn't feel connected?

Dan Doty has spent 20 years working with men and boys in deeply intimate spaces. In this episode, he shares why sex often feels like survival for dads, and why so many men feel emotionally orphaned after becoming parents.

If your partner seems checked out or constantly initiating (and you're stuck in resentment, shutdown, or confusion)... this episode is a must.

We unpack the unspoken emotional world of fatherhood, fragility, and the deeply misunderstood role sex plays for men after kids.

In this episode:

• The male version of "matrescence" (yes, it's real)
• How dads grieve lost intimacy,  and why they can't say it
• What not to do when you're feeling sexually rejected
• How to talk about sex without spiralling into blame
  
  

Join the Roommates to Romance Challenge:
Create connection without pressure. Flirt again. And turn "not tonight" into "let's stay up late"

 👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance

Share your takeaways with me on Instagram → @intimacyafterkids
Tools + more support → intimacyafterkids.com

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If you’re tired of hearing "not tonight," this episode is for you. For the partner who is asking for sex all the time, facing constant rejection feels personal. It chips away at your confidence and makes you want to stop trying altogether. But what if the "no" isn't about you at all?

This episode is the final installment of our Perimenopause + Intimacy series, and it's a masterclass in initiation. We explore why your old moves might be backfiring and how to approach your partner in a way that calms their nervous system and opens the door for desire.

Get out of the roommate rut and back into romance, without pressure or awkward sex talks.

👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance

In this episode:

• Why your partner’s "no" is information, not rejection.
• The 3 dynamics that are sabotaging your attempts at initiation.
• How to lead with confidence (without being pushy).
• The power of pressure-free affection to rebuild the runway for sex.

Say Hi or share your takeaway: @IntimacyAfterKids on Instagram

 More support + resources: https://intimacyafterkids.com

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Let’s just put it out there: If you’re in a sexless marriage, you’ve probably had at least one “Would this just be easier if we split up?” moment. Maybe you’ve even daydreamed about a solo life—until you remember that modern dating sounds absolutely exhausting. (No, thank you!)

If you’re even flirting with the D-word—even in your head—this episode is for you. Because keeping those worries secret just makes things worse, and you are NOT alone.

Join Sofia as she busts myths, calls out the mistakes that keep couples stuck, and shares the real, courageous steps that can bring you back from the edge—before it’s too late.

Timestamps & What You’ll Learn:

00:00 — Introduction

01:14 — Addressing Sexless Marriage Struggles

02:34 — Debunking the Myth of Dead Bedrooms After Kids

05:31 — Common Pitfalls in Sexless Marriages

10:59 — Solutions and Steps Forward

14:12 — Closing and Resources

Helpful Links:

• Book a free Spark Session
• Solve Your Sex Drive Quiz
• Follow Sofia on Instagram
• More episodes of Sex After Kids Podcast

Drop your story or questions in the comments. You are not broken, and your marriage is worth fighting for.

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Whether you’re fresh into postpartum or it’s been years since your last baby and your body still feels unfamiliar, you’re not alone. In this episode, I get radically real about intimacy, body image, and feeling sexy in the body you have—right now.

What You’ll Learn:

01:08 — Intimacy & Body Image After Kids

01:32 — The Reality of Postpartum Bodies

02:48 — Pressure, Partners, and Self-Criticism

03:52 — Waiting to Feel Sexy & The Cost

04:20 — Spectatoring & Body Neutrality

07:34 — Accepting Compliments & Shifting Perspective

08:14 — Letting Go of the “Lose 10 Pounds” Fantasy

08:36 — Comfort: Dressing for Your Now Body

09:57 — Building Safety & Vulnerability with Your Partner

11:45 — Redefining Sexy & Embodying Your Erotic Self

12:37 — Sometimes the Answer is to Have the Sex

13:37 — Body Gratitude & Receiving Compliments

14:44 — Recap & Shifting Self-Image

15:08 — You Deserve Pleasure Now: Quiz & Practice

Highlights:

• Why waiting to “lose 10 pounds” is putting your joy on layaway
• The difference between body positivity and body neutrality
• How to start feeling sexy—by practicing pleasure, not waiting for confidence
• Tangible, pressure-free ways to reconnect with your body and your partner
• How to let yourself be desired, even when it’s hard to believe
• 
  

Helpful Links:

• Book a free Spark Session
• Naked Fun Comeback Program
• Solve Your Sex Drive Quiz
• Follow Sofia on Instagram
• More episodes of Sex After Kids Podcast

Leave a comment or DM if this episode resonates—your story matters and you are not broken.

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Feeling awkward about intimacy after kids, or stuck in the “roommate rut?” You’re not alone. In this episode, I share why foreplay (and the “pre-game” before it) is the real secret to rekindling connection—and how to make it feel safe, pressure-free, and fun (especially for the lower libido partner).

What we cover:

01:06 — Rethinking Foreplay & Getting Started Again

02:11 — Zero Pressure: The Key to Connection

02:36 — Pre-Foreplay: Building Safety & Trust

03:25 — The Pre-Game: Flirty Connection & Melting Defenses

03:57 — Pressure-Free Scenarios: Massage Examples

06:30 — The Impact of No Pressure & Openness

07:27 — Playful Possibility: Fun Ways to Bring Back Foreplay

08:49 — Anticipation & Pre-Game for Scheduled Sex

09:42 — Building Up to No Pressure Sexy Connection

10:15 — Opening the Door to Libido & Support Offers

Links & Resources:

Start the Roommates to Romance Challenge

Follow Sofia on Instagram

More episodes of Sex After Kids Podcast

Drop a comment below with your favourite foreplay rituals or questions! And don’t forget to subscribe for more real, sassy support on sex, intimacy, and pleasure after kids.

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Is scheduled sex really the death of desire…or is it your secret weapon for reigniting connection after kids? In this episode, Sofia (your TMI bedroom advice bestie for parents) busts the myths about putting sex on the calendar—and shows you how to turn obligation into anticipation.

What You’ll Learn:

01:07 Debunking the Scheduled Sex Myth

01:21 Why People Resist Scheduling Sex

01:50 Scheduling Creates the Mood

02:28 The Pressure of Scheduled Nights

02:49 Real-Life Example: Anniversary Expectations

03:38 Naked Fun Dates, Not Sex Dates

04:22 Step 1: Book a Date & Treat It as Non-Negotiable

04:59 Step 2: Build the Bridge from Parent to Lover

05:18 Transition Rituals & Building Anticipation

05:41 Get Relaxed, Present, and Connected

06:35 Step 3: Communicate More Than You Think

07:10 Step 4: Debrief After Connection Dates

07:26 Always Be Learning About Each Other

07:47 Client Story: Laura's Pain-Free Sexy Times

08:33 Scheduled Sex = Grownup Intimacy

10:31 Mindfulness Minute & Closing

Links & Resources:
Book a free Spark Session
Follow Sofia on Instagram
More episodes of Sex After Kids Podcast

Drop your thoughts in the comments—have you tried scheduling sex? What worked (or didn’t) for you?

Subscribe for more real talk on sex, intimacy, and pleasure after kids!

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Feeling like “roommates” instead of lovers? You’re not alone. In this episode, I share my absolute favourite sex books that every parent should have on their nightstand—plus the real-life stories and expert tips behind each pick.

What you'll learn:
The best books for reigniting desire and connection after kids
How to talk about sex without shame or awkwardness
Why exploring together (or solo!) can spark big changes in your relationship

Timestamps:

00:00 — Intro & Podcast Welcome
01:23 — For Yourself by Dr. Lonnie Barbach
02:48 — Sex Drive by Dr. Bella Elwood Clayton
04:06 — Shake Your Soul Song by Davy Ward
05:19 — Come As You Are & Come Together by Emily Nagoski
06:29 — Becoming Cliterate by Dr. Lori Mintz
06:49 — The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure by Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian
07:08 — A Woman’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston
06:29 — Sex Ed & The Naked Fun Comeback Program
09:56 — Outro & Mindfulness Minute

Books featured:

• For Yourself – Dr. Lonnie Barbach
• Sex Drive – Dr. Bella Ellewood Clayton
• Shake Your Soul Song – Devi Ward
• Come as You Are & Come Together – Emily Nagoski
• Becoming Clitorate – Dr. Lori Mintz
• The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure – Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian
• A Woman’s Anatomy of Arousal – Sheri Winston

More episodes of Sex After Kids Podcast

Links & Resources:
Book a Spark Session
Follow Sofia on Instagram

Drop your favourite sex books in the comments and don’t forget to subscribe for more real-talk on sex, intimacy, and pleasure after kids!

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In this episode I share when my partner and I went to couples counselling after the birth of our first child. From my post-partum anxiety I was experiencing resentment and contempt and didn’t want this to be the theme of our relationship. 

In this episode I cover:

•  04:05 Why I hated admitting they needed help
•  06:12 Why everything wasn’t all my partners fault (much as I wanted it to be)
•  08:11 Why stress was the root of all our challenges
• 14:45 And why couples counselling wasn’t going to bring our sex life back after kids

Whether you are in the trenches of early baby and toddler hood or seasoned parents, this episode is a must listen.

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In this deeply personal episode, I’m sharing the one  secret that helped me go from six months of shut-down to regularly saying yes (and even initiating!)—without faking, forcing, or bypassing my body’s needs.

My vagina had a tantrum last week and we are going to talk about it. Whether you're the higher libido partner wondering what’s going on behind the “no,” or the lower libido partner who wants connection but feels stuck in shutdown—this episode is for you.

In this episode we cover: 

00:00 – The one nervous system insight that changed everything
04:35 – The “vagina tantrum” story: how I almost bypassed my body again
14:10 – Why resistance and irritation aren’t bad signs—they’re signals of progress
20:01 – The critical mistake I made during sex (and how I owned it with my partner)
26:10 – Why slowing down ≠ giving up (and why somatic sex matters)
36:00 – Why I created the Roommates to Romance Challenge—and how it helps both higher and lower libido partners move from stuck to sexy

💌 And if you’re done waiting for the perfect moment to reconnect, join the Roommates to Romance Challenge—14 days of small, done-for-you steps to build safety, play, and turn-ons that work with your body, not against it. Just DM me the word ROMANCE on Instagram or email sofia@intimacyafterkids.com and say I want in. 

LINKS MENTIONED:

- Catch the episode where I talk you through managing big emotions when they arise during sex.

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Feeling resentful, disconnected, or just done with intimacy because you're the one holding everything together?

Or maybe you're doing your share—and still hearing that it’s not enough?

This episode is for you.

We’re diving into the mental load: what it really is, how it impacts your nervous system (and your sex life), and why even splitting things 50/50 doesn’t always fix the spark.

Spoiler: doing the dishes isn’t foreplay if you’re not emotionally connected.

👇 In this episode, you’ll learn:

•  What the mental load really is (and how it messes with your libido)
•  The “silver bullet” myth: why more help doesn’t always = more sex
•  When fairness falls flat: the emotional load of doing life together
•  Why we need to stop stop fixing your partner—start rebuilding connection
•  3 tools to rebuild intimacy without more pressure

Let’s flip the script on desire and resentment. Because sex after kids shouldn’t feel like another job.

Love this convo? Here’s how to go deeper:

🔍 Take the Solve Your Sex Drive Quiz – Find out what’s really blocking your libido

 💥 Book a free Spark Session – A no-pressure space to talk about what’s not working (and what might help)

👉 Subscribe for more real talk on desire, intimacy, and connection after kids.

Resources
- Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
- A Better Share by  Dr Morgan Cutlip
- Fatherhood Unlocked
- Zach - Recovering Man Child

 💌 Got questions? Drop them in the comments or DM me on Instagram @thehappyvproject

Because your sex life doesn’t have to die after bedtime.
Let’s bring back the fun, the flirt, and the f*ck-yes.