Explore every episode of the podcast The Sex After Kids Podcast
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
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| 2 Years In: What I Hear From Listeners and Clients the Most | 13 Oct 2026 | 00:48:30 | |
Two years of the Sex After Kids Podcast! To celebrate, I'm sharing what I hear most often from both higher libido and lower libido partners in my DMs, on enrollment calls and in client sessions, and the surprising gap between what each of you thinks the other wants. (Hint: the most common "win" I hear isn't more sex.) Then we explore a different kind of question - What if your partner isn't asking you to force yourself to want sex? What if they're asking you to open the box called sexuality that's sitting next to you, and look inside with curiosity instead of fear? In this episode:
Mentioned in this episode:
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| Intimacy Is a Team Sport | 29 Sep 2026 | 00:19:42 | |
For many women, their relationship with sex was complicated long before kids entered the picture—or before they met their current partner. In this episode, Sofia explores how cultural messages, fertility challenges, birth, past sexual experiences and years of feeling disconnected from the body can shape a woman’s experience of intimacy. She also explains why rebuilding that relationship cannot fall entirely on one person. You’ll hear:
Because intimacy is a team sport—and creating a sex life that feels good for both of you requires both people to participate. Ready to understand what’s keeping you stuck in the merry-go-round of avoidance? Book a 30-minute Spark Session with Sofia to uncover the root causes and map your next steps back to playful, easy connection and sex. | |||
| The Small Skill That Makes the Sexy Stuff Work | 22 Sep 2026 | 00:28:12 | |
When you finally get a moment to yourself, do you choose something that fills you up or something that helps you check out? In this episode, Sofia explores the difference between genuine pleasure, quick gratification and everyday dissociation. She breaks down how chronic stress disconnects us from our bodies, why pleasure can feel surprisingly difficult to access and how small moments of joy can help regulate the nervous system. You’ll learn about four forms of pleasure: emotional, physical, spiritual and sexual, and why building your capacity for pleasure outside the bedroom supports desire and connection inside it. Sofia also introduces the 5% More Principle, a simple practice for making everyday life slightly more pleasurable. Put music on while you cook. Sit in the sun while you eat lunch. Choose play when bedtime starts testing every last nerve. These choices may look small, but they build the skills underneath satisfying intimacy: noticing what you want, giving yourself permission to want it and communicating it to someone else. If you’re ready to understand what’s keeping you and your partner stuck in avoidance, book a 30-minute Spark Session with Sofia at intimacyafterkids.com. | |||
| The 5 Stages of Your Sexual Relationship with Dan Purcell | 15 Sep 2026 | 00:26:33 | |
What if the best sex of your life is still ahead of you? In this episode, Sofia revisits a favourite conversation from the Sex After Kids Summit with Dan Purcell, founder of Get Your Marriage On. Together, they explore the five stages a sexual relationship can move through, from the excitement of newness and the reality of maintenance sex to novelty, deeper meaning and complete surrender. They talk about why having kids can shake couples out of sexual complacency, how to recognize the season you’re currently in and why maintenance sex doesn’t have to become your forever. In this episode:
Your sex life will change as your relationship, family and bodies change. That evolution doesn’t mean the best is behind you. With curiosity, new skills and a willingness to keep choosing each other, it may still be ahead. Want help getting off the merry-go-round of pressure, rejection and avoidance? Book a Spark Session with Sofia to uncover what’s keeping you stuck and map your next steps toward playful, easy connection. Learn more at intimacyafterkids.com | |||
| How To Go From Folding Laundry To A Yes | 09 Sep 2026 | 00:25:00 | |
Most parents can’t go from dishes, deadlines and daycare pickup brain to feeling sexy with the flip of a switch. There is no switch. There’s a bridge. In this episode, Sofia explores the art of the transition: how couples can move out of regular-life mode and into connection, pleasure and play without waiting for spontaneous desire or forcing themselves to push through. You’ll learn:
Great sex in a long-term relationship isn’t built by waiting until you’re both spontaneously ready. It grows when you create the conditions for safe connection, listen to what your bodies are telling you and stay curious about what each moment has available. If you’re ready to get off the merry-go-round of avoidance and find your way back to playful, easy connection, book a 30-minute Spark Session with Sofia. Together, you’ll uncover what’s keeping you stuck and map your next steps forward. BOOK YOUR SPARK SESSION → www.intimacyafterkids.com/calendar?utm_source=the-sex-after-kids-podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=episode-91&utm_content=&utm_campaign=spark-session Connect with Sofia: Instagram and Facebook: @IntimacyAfterKids Website: intimacyafterkids.com | |||
| You Cannot Change What You Cannot Talk About | 01 Sep 2026 | 00:28:10 | |
You love each other, you’re committed to each other and there are still things you’re both quietly not saying. The frustration you swallow. The need you decide isn’t worth bringing up. The disappointing sex you pretend was fine because talking about it somehow feels harder than just moving on. But if it stays silent, it stays stuck. In this episode, I’m sharing an excerpt from The Naked Fun Comeback (my signature program for couples) about one of the biggest shifts I see couples make: learning how to talk about hard things without the conversation immediately turning into blame, defensiveness, shutting down, or another argument that goes absolutely nowhere. We’ll dig into why these conversations can feel so risky, the difference between trying to win and trying to understand each other, and a four-step communication framework you can use to say what’s actually going on without putting your partner immediately on the defensive. You’ll learn:
The goal of a hard conversation isn’t necessarily to agree or even solve everything right away, it’s to understand each other better than you did before you started and every time you learn how to share yourself honestly and stay to hear your partner honestly, you’re not only getting in the way of intimacy, you’re creating it. Ready to get off the merry-go-round of avoidance? Book a 30-minute Spark Session with me — we’ll look at what’s keeping you stuck in patterns of avoidance and map out your next steps toward connection and sex that feel playful, easy, and alive again. BOOK YOUR SPARK SESSION → www.intimacyafterkids.com/calendar?utm_source=the-sex-after-kids-podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=episode-100&utm_content=&utm_campaign=spark-session Connect with me: | |||
| Why Your Great Relationship Isn't Fixing Your Sex Life | 25 Aug 2026 | 00:16:32 | |
If you've ever thought, "We're best friends... so why is our sex life still struggling?" this episode is for you. Many couples assume that a strong relationship should naturally lead to a great sex life. But what if being close emotionally isn't the same as knowing how to create desire, connection, and fulfilling intimacy? In this episode, we unpack why so many happy, loving couples still struggle with sex. We talk about the hidden patterns that keep couples stuck, why date nights and hormone tests often don't solve the problem, and the truth that almost nobody is taught the skills needed for a healthy, satisfying sex life. You'll learn why your relationship isn't broken, why your body probably isn't the problem, and how learning new relationship and intimacy skills can change everything. If you're in a long-term relationship, married, or navigating intimacy after kids, this conversation will help you understand why you're stuck and what you can do next. Join the Naked Fun Comeback waitlist to be the first to hear when doors open for the October cohort and receive exclusive bonuses and early-bird pricing. https://intimacyafterkids.com/comeback-waitlist Connect with me: | |||
| You Think My Marriage Is Different. It's Not. | 18 Aug 2026 | 00:17:11 | |
Is marriage after kids harder than you expected? You're not alone. In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, I share the honest story of what our marriage looked like after becoming parents. We've experienced resentment, therapy, sleepless nights, postpartum struggles, the mental load, and moments where I questioned whether we'd make it. I talk about what actually helped us move through those difficult seasons, from changing how we handled the mental load to learning how to communicate better, reconnect emotionally, and approach our relationship as a team instead of opponents. Whether you're navigating postpartum marriage, relationship struggles after kids, low libido after children, or simply trying to reconnect with your partner, I hope this conversation reminds you that you're not alone. Ready to reconnect with your partner? The next round of The Naked Fun Comeback starts this October. Join the waitlist below to be the first to hear when doors open. https://intimacyafterkids.com/comeback-waitlist Connect with me: | |||
| Why waiting for your sex drive to come back is the hard way to a fun flirty relationship after kids | 11 Aug 2026 | 00:24:09 | |
In this episode Sofia explores why so many women are just "waiting for their sex drive to come back online" to have a better sex life. She explores why this thinking is the hard way back to a fun and flirty relationship and what couples who have a thriving sex life after kids do instead. She shares dispatches from her bedroom to illustrate how tuning into intention instead of desire, turning stop signs into yield signs in your body, and communicating playfully can get you back to the sex you crave after children. Whether you're navigating postpartum marriage, relationship struggles after kids, low libido after children, or simply trying to reconnect with your partner, I hope this conversation reminds you that you're not alone. Ready to reconnect with your partner? The next round of The Naked Fun Comeback starts this October. Join the waitlist below to be the first to hear when doors open. https://intimacyafterkids.com/comeback-waitlist Connect with me: | |||
| 10 Years and 3 kids later my libido was on ice | 04 Aug 2026 | 00:18:05 | |
From missmatched libidos and pelvic floors, to sexual fantasy and communication skills - your host Sofia Ashley - certified sex coach and educator - will walk you through her thoughts on it all in these solo (for now) episodes. https://intimacyafterkids.com/comeback-waitlist Host Sofia Ashley, founder of the Happy Vagina Project, Certified Sex Coach and Sex Educator, brings you one part science of sex, one part magic, and one part real talk to tackle everything from miss matched libidos and lacklustre sex after kids. | |||
| Sexless Marriage: How to Save Your Relationship Before Divorce | 28 Jul 2026 | 00:15:23 | |
Let’s just put it out there: If you’re in a sexless marriage, you’ve probably had at least one “Would this just be easier if we split up?” moment. Maybe you’ve even daydreamed about a solo life—until you remember that modern dating sounds absolutely exhausting. (No, thank you!) If you’re even flirting with the D-word—even in your head—this episode is for you. Because keeping those worries secret just makes things worse, and you are NOT alone. Join Sofia as she busts myths, calls out the mistakes that keep couples stuck, and shares the real, courageous steps that can bring you back from the edge—before it’s too late. Timestamps & What You’ll Learn: 00:00 — Introduction 01:14 — Addressing Sexless Marriage Struggles 02:34 — Debunking the Myth of Dead Bedrooms After Kids 05:31 — Common Pitfalls in Sexless Marriages 10:59 — Solutions and Steps Forward 14:12 — Closing and Resources Helpful Links:
Drop your story or questions in the comments. You are not broken, and your marriage is worth fighting for. | |||
| Foreplay Games for Couples: Playful Ways to Get Out of the Roommate Rut After Kids - Especially when it’s been a while | 21 Jul 2026 | 00:12:41 | |
Feeling awkward about intimacy after kids, or stuck in the “roommate rut?” You’re not alone. In this episode, I share why foreplay (and the “pre-game” before it) is the real secret to rekindling connection—and how to make it feel safe, pressure-free, and fun (especially for the lower libido partner).
01:06 — Rethinking Foreplay & Getting Started Again 02:11 — Zero Pressure: The Key to Connection 02:36 — Pre-Foreplay: Building Safety & Trust 03:25 — The Pre-Game: Flirty Connection & Melting Defenses 03:57 — Pressure-Free Scenarios: Massage Examples 06:30 — The Impact of No Pressure & Openness 07:27 — Playful Possibility: Fun Ways to Bring Back Foreplay 08:49 — Anticipation & Pre-Game for Scheduled Sex 09:42 — Building Up to No Pressure Sexy Connection 10:15 — Opening the Door to Libido & Support Offers Links & Resources:
More episodes of Sex After Kids Podcast
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| The Four Secret Ingredients for a Fab Sex Life - After Kids | 14 Jul 2026 | 00:29:54 | |
In this episode of the Sex After Kids podcast, we explore the four secret ingredients essential for a fulfilling sex life post-parenthood. Listen in to find out what the nervous system, communication, your relationship to pleasure and your mindset have to do with reclaiming your sex life after kids. 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast 00:37 Setting the Stage with 'Easy' 07:24 The Naked Sexy Fun Times Cycle 14:43 Four Core Ingredients for a Fantastic Sex Life 15:10 Nervous System: The First Ingredient 19:50 Communication: The Second Ingredient 21:53 Relationship to Pleasure: The Third Ingredient 26:41 Mindset: The Fourth Ingredient 29:16 Recap and Final Thoughts | |||
| Most Couples Never Actually Learn Intimacy | 07 Jul 2026 | 00:13:15 | |
If s*x after kids feels awkward, disconnected, or harder than it used to… you are not alone. In this episode, Sofia breaks down why most couples struggle with intimacy after kids — and why it’s NOT because you’re broken, selfish, or “bad at s*x.” Most couples were never actually taught intimacy skills. Instead, we relied on chemistry, novelty, alcohol, low stress, and spontaneity in our 20s… and then felt confused when those things stopped working in marriage and parenthood. Inside this episode:
If you feel more like roommates than partners, this conversation will help you understand what’s actually happening — without blame, shame, or making things worse. 👇 Resources Mentioned:
#Marriage #Relationships #Intimacy #SexAfterKids #RelationshipAdvice | |||
| Why Women Shut Down Sexually — It’s Not What You Think | 30 Jun 2026 | 00:23:07 | |
Why do so many women shut down sexually in long-term relationships? In this episode, we’re talking about the emotional dynamic underneath sexual shutdown, rejection loops, pressure, and disconnection… especially after kids. This conversation explores:
This is not about blaming men or women. It’s about understanding the patterns many couples get stuck in without realizing it. If sex keeps turning into a fight… If you feel like you can’t bring it up without things going sideways… If you miss feeling wanted, connected, or close… This episode is for you. 👇 Resources Mentioned:
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| Why S*x After Kids Feels Awkward Sometimes (And Why That’s Normal) | 23 Jun 2026 | 00:16:23 | |
What does real intimacy after kids actually look like? In this episode of the S*x After Kids podcast, I’m sharing a real-life bedroom dispatch — including the awkward moments, miscommunication, nervous system shutdown, and honest conversations that almost made us stop halfway through intimacy. Because real s*x after kids doesn’t always look effortless or spontaneous. Sometimes it looks like: • feeling unsure If you’ve ever wondered:
…this episode is for you. We’re talking about:
This is not movie s*x. This is real marriage, real intimacy, and real communication. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone — and there’s another way through this. 👇 Resources Mentioned:
#SexAfterKids #MarriageIntimacy #LowLibido #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageAfterKids #IntimacyAfterKids #ResponsiveDesire #CouplesCommunication #SexlessMarriage #RelationshipPodcast #EmotionalConnection #MarriageHelp #DesireAfterKids #ConnectionAfterKids #RelationshipDynamics #RealMarriage #LongTermRelationships #RelationshipSupport #CouplesIntimacy #MarriagePodcast | |||
| The 4 Traps Keeping Good Men Stuck in S*xless Marriages After Kids | 16 Jun 2026 | 00:25:46 | |
If you're a husband feeling rejected, lonely, or stuck in a s*xless marriage after kids, this episode is for you. Many higher-libido men are trying everything they can to improve intimacy—helping more around the house, avoiding conflict, staying patient, and waiting for things to get better. But sometimes those efforts unintentionally keep couples trapped in the same cycle. In this episode of the Sx After Kids Podcast, I break down the **4 biggest traps keeping good men stuck in sxless marriages**, including: ✔ The Peacekeeper Trap ✔ The Mental Load Gap ✔ The Vulnerability Deficit ✔ The Emotional Bleed You'll learn why trying harder often makes intimacy worse, how conflict can actually strengthen connection, what women mean when they talk about mental load, and why personal leadership is one of the most powerful ways to rebuild attraction and intimacy in a long-term relationship. This isn't about blame. It's about understanding the patterns that keep couples stuck and learning a different way forward. Whether you're struggling with rejection, low intimacy, desire differences, emotional distance, or constant fights about s*x, this conversation will help you understand what's really happening underneath the surface. 👇 Resources Mentioned:
#SexlessMarriage #MarriageAdviceForMen #IntimacyAfterKids #RelationshipAdvice #HigherLibidoPartner #MarriageHelp #DeadBedroom #MarriedLife #RelationshipCommunication #CouplesCommunication #IntimacyIssues #SexAfterKids #MarriagePodcast #EmotionalConnection #DesireDifference #MarriageProblems #RelationshipCoach #RebuildAttraction #LongTermRelationships #MenAndMarriage | |||
| You’re Not “Low Libido” — You’re Over-Needed After Kids | 09 Jun 2026 | 00:23:14 | |
If you feel touched out, exhausted, and completely shut down by the end of the day… this episode is for you. In this episode of the Sx After Kids Podcast, we’re talking about why so many moms and lower-libido partners stop wanting sx after kids — and why it’s often NOT actually a libido problem. We’re unpacking:
If you’ve ever thought: “I love my partner, but I just don’t want s*x.” “I feel touched out.” “Every conversation about intimacy turns into a fight.” “I’m exhausted and disconnected.” …you are not alone. This conversation is honest, grounded, and designed to help couples understand what’s actually happening beneath the pressure/shutdown cycle after kids. Want help making intimacy feel safe, relaxed, and connected again? Check out:
👇 Tell me in the comments: What part of this episode hit hardest for you? #LowLibido #MarriageAfterKids #SexAfterKids #IntimacyAfterKids #TouchedOut #RelationshipAdvice #SexlessMarriage #MarriageAdvice #PostpartumMarriage #LibidoAfterKids #EmotionalLabor #ParentingAndMarriage #RelationshipPodcast #IntimacyIssues #CouplesCommunication | |||
| 5 Things Killing Your S*x Life After Kids (That Have Nothing to Do With S*x) | 26 May 2026 | 00:14:00 | |
If you feel like your relationship has turned into roommates after kids… this is for you. This episode breaks down 5 things that are quietly killing your sx life after kids — that have nothing to do with sx. Because for most couples, it’s not about desire, effort, or “trying harder.” It’s about the patterns that build distance without you even realizing it. In this episode, we talk about:
If this sounds familiar, you’re not broken — and you’re not the only one stuck in this. This is one of the most common dynamics couples fall into after kids: You want connection → it comes out as pressure → your partner shuts down → and now everything feels harder. There’s a better way to shift this without making things worse. If this feels familiar and you want help navigating this without making it worse, check out the Roommates to Romance Challenge. Join Free Workshop here: https://intimacyafterkids.com/free-workshop?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=intimacy_workshop&utm_content=ep82_5_things_killing_sex_life | |||
| Why Therapy Didn’t Fix Your Sex Life (And What Actually Will) | 19 May 2026 | 00:21:38 | |
You’ve tried therapy. You’ve had the hard conversations. So why does your sex life still feel stuck? If you feel like you’ve done everything “right” but still end up lying in bed feeling more like roommates than partners… this episode will help you understand why. In this episode of the Sex After Kids podcast, we break down:
This isn’t about blaming you or your partner. And it’s not about doing more. It’s about understanding that intimacy is a skillset—and learning how to build it in a way that actually works in real life. If you’ve been thinking:
…you are not alone—and there is a way forward. If this feels familiar, the next step is to join one of the free workshops. You’ll learn exactly how this process works, what to expect, and how to rebuild connection without pressure or awkwardness. | |||
| What Actually Changes When You Fix Your Sex Life (It’s Not What You Think) | 12 May 2026 | 00:15:41 | |
What actually changes when couples fix their sex life? It’s not just more sex. It’s how you talk about it. How you experience it. And how you feel with each other. In this episode of the Sex After Kids podcast, we break down the real shifts couples experience when they rebuild intimacy—without pressure, awkwardness, or constant conflict. This is not the “everything is fixed overnight” version. This is what actually changes in real life. Inside this episode:
If you’ve been feeling stuck, disconnected, or like:
…this episode will help you understand what’s actually going on—and what can change. If this feels familiar, the next step is to join one of the free workshops. You’ll see exactly how this process works, what to expect, and whether it’s the right time for you. | |||
| Why Couples Stop Having Sex After Kids (And How to Fix It) | 05 May 2026 | 00:21:11 | |
Why does sex feel so much harder after kids—even when you still love each other? Most couples don’t fall out of love. They fall into patterns where connection gets replaced with pressure, shutdown, and silence. In this episode of the Sex After Kids podcast, we break down:
If you’ve ever felt like:
…this episode will help you understand what’s actually going on—and what to do next. This isn’t about fixing your partner. It’s about learning the skills and habits that support connection in this stage of life. If this sounds familiar, the next step is to join one of the free workshops. You’ll learn the exact roadmap to rebuild connection, intimacy, and sex—without pressure or overwhelm. | |||
| What Couples with Great Sex Lives Do Differently | 28 Apr 2026 | 00:16:09 | |
Are you and your partner amazing co-parents but struggling to feel like lovers—especially with kids in the mix? You're not alone! In this episode, I break down the five habits that help couples with kids move beyond survival mode and rediscover playful, connected intimacy, no matter how busy life gets. We'll talk about radical curiosity, honest feedback, the power of laughter, quick repairs after tough moments, and how to protect your intimacy bubble—even when little ones are always nearby. Plus, I'll share practical tips you can use right away and introduce you to my Naked Fun Toolkit, designed to make reconnecting feel easy and fun. Ready to bring back the spark? Tune in, and let's get started! Download the Naked Fun Toolkit here: CLICK HERE Which habit do you want to try this week? I'd love to hear your thoughts—send me a message or leave a comment! | |||
| Why am I avoiding sex after kids? | 21 Apr 2026 | 00:22:23 | |
This is a love letter for anyone who's lost touch with desire and feels the weight of expectation after kids. I know what it's like to feel shut down and alone in your relationship. You don't want sex, you don't know why and everytime he asks it feels like he’s making it a personal failure on your part. In this episode, I unpack the truth behind "not tonight," why it's not your fault, and how to rebuild intimacy one step at a time. Let's start a real conversation—comment below or send me a message. Subscribe for more real talk about sex, relationships, and reclaiming joy. Books Featured: | |||
| The Silent Reversal: When You're the One Wanting More (And He Doesn't) | 14 Apr 2026 | 00:22:32 | |
Ever find yourself wanting intimacy more than your husband—and wondering what changed after kids? You're not alone. In this episode, I'm talking about the real reasons behind this shift, why "trying harder" isn’t working, and how to start changing the dynamic in your marriage without losing yourself. If you're ready to break out of the cycle and reconnect without the pressure, join me for my masterclass, The Pressure Free Protocol. You'll get practical steps to help you feel seen, desired, and confident again. What part of this conversation hits home for you? I'd love to hear your story—send me a message or leave a comment! | |||
| It's Not Your Libido—It's Your Relationship to Pleasure (Why Desire Disappears) | 07 Apr 2026 | 00:17:42 | |
"I just don't care about sex anymore." If that thought has crossed your mind, you're not alone—and it might not be about libido at all. In this episode, we explore how pleasure often disappears from everyday life (especially for parents), and why that has a direct impact on desire. We talk about stress, caretaker mode, and how reconnecting with small moments of enjoyment can start to bring desire back—without pressure or performance. If you want a simple place to start, check out the Naked Fun Toolkit | |||
| The Myth of Natural Sex: Why Great Sex Is Actually a Social Skill | 31 Mar 2026 | 00:14:34 | |
Most couples are walking into their sex life with the same quiet assumption: If the relationship is good... And if there's love and attraction...Then sex should just work. And when it doesn't? In this episode, we challenge that belief completely. Because great sex isn't something you either "have" or you don't. We explore:
If you've ever felt like you're "fumbling in the dark"... this episode will give you a completely different way to understand what's really going on—and what to do next. Want a place to start? New episodes drop weekly. Follow the show so you don't miss what's coming next. | |||
| The Inner Critic Ruining Your Sex Life | 24 Mar 2026 | 00:17:37 | |
Ever feel like you're watching yourself during sex instead of actually enjoying it? In this episode, we're diving into the concept of spectatoring—a form of sexual self-consciousness where you're mentally observing and judging yourself during intimate moments instead of being present in your body. If you've ever found yourself thinking things like "What do I do with my hands?" or "Do I look weird right now?" you're not alone. These thoughts are incredibly common, and they can seriously interfere with pleasure and connection. We'll explore where spectatoring comes from, how the male gaze shapes the way many women experience their bodies, and why this mental "observer" can make it harder to relax and feel turned on. I also share three practical ways to shift out of spectator mode and back into your body so you can experience deeper connection and pleasure with your partner. Whether you're navigating intimacy after kids or simply want to feel more present in your sex life, this episode will give you a powerful new lens for understanding what's happening in your mind during intimacy. Ready to reconnect with intimacy after kids? Join my free masterclass where I walk you through the biggest reasons intimacy changes after parenthood—and what you can do to bring back connection, pleasure, and desire in your relationship. Connect with me: | |||
| How to Rebuild Sexual Desire: The Positive Feedback Loop of Great Sex | 17 Mar 2026 | 00:16:20 | |
What if rebuilding sexual desire wasn't about trying harder — but about changing the experiences your body associates with sex? In this episode, we explore the concept of the positive feedback loop of great sex and how your nervous system plays a powerful role in whether intimacy feels inviting or overwhelming. When sexual experiences feel safe, pleasurable, and connected, your body begins to associate sex with positive outcomes — making desire easier and more natural over time. But when stress, pressure, resentment, or past negative experiences are present, your body can fall into the opposite cycle: a negative feedback loop that makes desire harder to access. The good news? You can shift that pattern. Rather than aiming for mind-blowing sex right away, rebuilding desire often starts with small, low-pressure wins that help your nervous system relax and feel safe again. In this episode, we talk about how couples can begin creating those positive experiences and slowly rewire their relationship with intimacy. In this episode, we discuss:
If you've been feeling stuck in a cycle where sex feels tense, obligatory, or difficult to get excited about, this episode will help you understand what’s happening in your body — and how to start shifting the pattern. Take the Solve Your Sex Drive Quiz and download the consent and connection exercise mentioned in the episode: | |||
| [RETRO] Ready for More Fun, Play, and Connection? An Invitation to My Signature Program! | 10 Mar 2026 | 00:28:17 | |
Why does sex after kids suddenly feel so complicated? Many couples fall into a quiet pattern after becoming parents: one partner keeps initiating, the other starts avoiding, and both end up feeling rejected, pressured, or disconnected. Over time flirting disappears, intimacy becomes tense, and sex slowly fades out of the relationship. In this throwback episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, we unpack one of the most common dynamics couples experience after kids: the initiate–avoid cycle. You'll learn why this pattern happens, why most advice about desire doesn't actually work for parents, and how couples can start rebuilding connection in a way that fits real life with kids. In this episode we talk about: • The initiate–avoid cycle that quietly shuts down desire in long-term relationships If your relationship feels stuck in a dry spell, or intimacy has started to feel awkward or tense, this conversation will help you understand what's actually happening underneath the surface. Sex after kids doesn't disappear because you're broken. The good news: those skills can absolutely be learned. Watch the free masterclass: | |||
| [RETRO EPISODE] 5 Ways Shitty Sex-ed is Messing With Your Sex Life Post Kids | 03 Mar 2026 | 00:34:19 | |
In this throwback episode of the 'Sex After Kids' podcast, I delve into the significance of sex education and its lasting effects on adult sex lives, particularly after having children. We cover several key points, including the failure of sex education to address pleasure, the importance of self pleasure, the need for detailed anatomical knowledge, and the impact of societal shame on sexual well-being. | |||
| Stop Fumbling in the Dark: Sex After Kids & Perimenopause (Low Desire, Arousal Changes & Intimacy After Kids) | 24 Feb 2026 | 00:20:26 | |
If sex after kids feels confusing, inconsistent, or like your body just isn't responding the way it used to — you're not broken. Many women experience low desire, slower arousal, discomfort during sex, or a loss of libido during perimenopause and after having children. But most couples aren't taught how intimacy changes during this stage of life — so they assume something is wrong with the relationship. In this episode, we talk about what's actually happening with desire, arousal, and intimacy after kids and during perimenopause — and how to stop fumbling in the dark. You'll learn:
If you're navigating low libido, mismatched desire, painful sex, or emotional distance after kids — this episode will help you understand what’s happening and what to do next. And if you're ready to move from understanding to practice, you can grab the Colour Me Curious workshop replay for $27 (limited-time). Inside the workshop, you'll get:
Instead of guessing, you'll have a clear starting point. Grab Colour Me Curious here: Colour Me Curious Your sex life doesn't need more pressure. | |||
| How to Want Sex Again in Perimenopause — Without Forcing Yourself | 17 Feb 2026 | 00:28:14 | |
If sex feels like a chore in your 40s or 50s, you're not broken. In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, we're unpacking why desire disappears during perimenopause — even when love hasn't — and how to reconnect with intimacy without pushing through pain or guilt. You'll learn:
Whether you're feeling disconnected from your sex drive, worried sex will hurt, or supporting a partner through these changes — this episode is for you. Grab the Colour Me Curious: The Playful Pleasure Map HERE! Check out the Masterclass HERE If this episode resonates, tap follow and leave a review — and share it with someone who needs to hear: You are not broken. Your body is changing. And you still deserve pleasure. | |||
| What Really Changes "Down There" After Childbirth and Menopause | 10 Feb 2026 | 00:18:29 | |
Why does sex feel different after having kids — or in perimenopause and midlife? Flatter, harder, painful, or just... off? You're not broken. And your body isn't failing you. In this episode, we talk about what actually happens to your body, brain, and nervous system after childbirth, postpartum, and hormonal shifts — and how to start rebuilding intimacy, even if things feel disconnected. You'll learn:
This is for people with vulvas, penises, and couples of all genders who feel out of sync with their body — or with each other — after having kids. Sex doesn't stop working because you're doing something wrong. It stops working when the old rules no longer fit your life (or nervous system). Join the live workshop: Colour Me Curious Come solo or with a partner. Replay included. | |||
| Stop Being Quiet in Bed — It's Weird (Here's Why Perfection Kills Pleasure) | 03 Feb 2026 | 00:22:17 | |
What if the biggest mood killer in your sex life isn't lack of desire, time, or chemistry—but the pressure to be perfect? In this episode, we're digging into why chasing "perfect sex" actually leads to more awkwardness, less connection, and way less fun. Plus, how to shift from performance mode into curiosity and communication. We cover:
If sex has started to feel tense, rushed, or like you're just guessing, this episode will help you breathe again. Plus, I share what my partner and I are experimenting with right now, and why giving feedback in bed is a green flag, not a red one. Valentine's Day Workshop – Color Me Curious
$27 | Live + Replay Included. GRAB IT HERE Sex doesn't get better by trying harder. | |||
| You're Secretly Sabotaging Your Sex Life (And You Don't Even Know It) | 27 Jan 2026 | 00:28:44 | |
Welcome to Season 2! We're kicking things off with a hard truth: If sex feels awkward, disconnected, or just plain off, you might be sabotaging your own sex life without realizing it. In this episode, I'm sharing three traps that quietly kill intimacy — even in the most loving relationships — and what you can do to turn things around. We'll talk about:
Plus, I've got details for my LIVE Valentine's Day Workshop coming up on February 14. It's just $27, with two time slots to choose from. No pressure. No awkward moments. Just a playful, private way to reconnect — solo or with your partner. Save your spot here: https://intimacyafterkids.com/colour-me-curious Subscribe to the show for weekly conversations about intimacy, confidence, and real-life sex without the shame. | |||
| Season Preview: Make 2026 Your Best Year Together | 20 Jan 2026 | 00:22:49 | |
Is your relationship feeling more like roommates than romantic partners? You're not alone—and you're not stuck. In this episode, I'm walking you through the proven framework that's helping couples reconnect and rebuild intimacy in a real, practical way. We'll talk about:
This is the episode for you if you're craving honest conversations, clear steps, and a renewed connection with your partner in 2026. 💌 Want early access to my Valentine’s Day offer? Got thoughts or questions about this episode? I’d love to hear from you. Shoot me a message or tag me on Instagram @Intimacyafterkids | |||
| When Sex Brings Up Shutdown, Tears, or Rushing, What's Actually Happening | 06 Jan 2026 | 00:28:00 | |
Have you ever had sex end in shutdown, rushing, or unexpected emotion, and neither of you knew what just happened? In this intimate episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, I explore why sex can feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally charged for couples, even when there is love and desire on both sides. This episode is for you if:
I share my personal story of spending years fighting her body and how learning one key somatic skill, along with her partner learning how to support instead of fix, created the biggest shift in their sex life. You'll learn why these patterns are nervous system responses, not failures, and how couples can start moving back toward safe, light, and enjoyable intimacy together. ✨ If this resonates, book a free Spark Session to get unstuck and find your way back to easy, fun sex again. | |||
| Why You Feel Unchosen, Unsexy, and Alone (Even in a Good Relationship) | 30 Dec 2025 | 00:32:25 | |
Why do you feel unchosen, unsexy, and alone, even when your relationship looks "fine"? If you're the one always initiating hard conversations, tracking emotional distance, or trying to "fix" disconnection... you may be managing the emotional labor of the relationship by yourself. And over time, that role quietly erodes safety, intimacy, and desire, not because love disappears, but because the mutuality does. In this final episode of our 4-part Mental Load series, we explore:
This isn't about calling your partner out. ✨ Want to rebuild connection and desire, together? | |||
| Fair Play, Real Life: How We Manage the Mental Load as a Couple | 23 Dec 2025 | 00:34:33 | |
How do you actually share the mental load without constant fighting, resentment, or feeling like you’re doing it all? This is part 3 of a 4-part series on the mental load — and today, we're getting practical. I'm sharing how my partner and I used the Fair Play Method by Eve Rodsky to manage the mental load in our house — what worked, what didn't, and how we adapted it for real life with kids, neurodivergence, and wildly different nervous systems. We talk about:
Plus, my honest take on the Fair Play book itself — when it's helpful, and when it might make things harder (especially if your partner is already feeling defensive). This episode is about making the invisible visible — without turning your relationship into a negotiation table. In the final episode of this series, we'll talk about the mental load of sex... and who carries responsibility for tending the relationship itself. | |||
| How to Talk About the Mental Load Without Starting a Fight | 16 Dec 2025 | 00:40:57 | |
If talking about the mental load already feels like walking into a fight, this episode is for you. Because most mental load conversations don’t fail due to bad intentions — they fail because couples are stuck in an unspoken manager–assistant dynamic that kills safety, teamwork, and desire. In this episode, we unpack:
This is a grounded, practical episode for couples who want to feel like teammates again — not managers and assistants. ✨ Want support having this conversation? BOOK HERE - https://www.intimacyafterkids.com/calendar | |||
| Mental Load 101: Why You're Fighting More... and Having Sex Less | 09 Dec 2025 | 00:22:05 | |
If the two of you feel like you're living in the same house but carrying completely different worlds, this episode will hit home. Welcome to Mental Load 101. This is the first in a four episode series that explains why resentment is high, intimacy is low, and why you keep having the same fights no matter how many systems or chore charts you try. In today's episode: • What the mental load really is and why it is invisible but exhausting This series will change how you see everything. Want real time support? Or grab my free guide, Touch Again Tonight. Next episode we'll explore your first step toward peace, partnership, and intimacy again. | |||
| Why Porn Feels Easier Than Intimacy (And What It's Really Costing You) | 02 Dec 2025 | 00:29:24 | |
Porn often feels like the easier option — no pressure, no rejection, no emotional work. But when it becomes your go-to outlet, it can quietly chip away at intimacy, connection, and confidence... without you even noticing. This episode isn't about shame. It's about clarity. We're unpacking the real impact of porn in relationships — especially if you're a dad, a man, or the higher-desire partner in your relationship. We're diving into:
Whether you're feeling disconnected or stuck in a cycle that doesn't feel great — this conversation will help you see what’s really going on... and what to do next. 💡 Join the 14-Day Roommates to Romance Challenge Includes: Just $9 — Start now: intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance | |||
| "Not Tonight" Isn't the Problem — Your Reaction Is. | 25 Nov 2025 | 00:23:59 | |
If you're the higher-libido partner and every "not tonight" feels like a gut-punch, this episode might change everything. Because it's not the rejection that turns her off — it's how you respond afterward. Most men were never taught what to do when sex disappears after babies, stress, or burnout. When connection feels out of reach, every "no" can trigger shame, pressure, or shutdown. But your reaction in that moment? In this episode:
Ready to change the dynamic this week? 👉 Just $9: intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance | |||
| What You’re Really Asking for When You Ask for Sex on Repeat | 18 Nov 2025 | 00:18:22 | |
You keep initiating. She keeps pulling away.
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| Fatherhood and Sex Questioning the Status Quo with Dan Doty | 11 Nov 2025 | 00:44:31 | |
Why do dads seem to shut down after kids, or push for sex that doesn't feel connected? Dan Doty has spent 20 years working with men and boys in deeply intimate spaces. In this episode, he shares why sex often feels like survival for dads, and why so many men feel emotionally orphaned after becoming parents. If your partner seems checked out or constantly initiating (and you're stuck in resentment, shutdown, or confusion)... this episode is a must. We unpack the unspoken emotional world of fatherhood, fragility, and the deeply misunderstood role sex plays for men after kids. In this episode:
Join the Roommates to Romance Challenge: 👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance Share your takeaways with me on Instagram → @intimacyafterkids | |||
| Your Partner's in Perimenopause? Why Your Flirting Isn't Working | 04 Nov 2025 | 00:21:11 | |
If you’re tired of hearing "not tonight," this episode is for you. For the partner who is asking for sex all the time, facing constant rejection feels personal. It chips away at your confidence and makes you want to stop trying altogether. But what if the "no" isn't about you at all? This episode is the final installment of our Perimenopause + Intimacy series, and it's a masterclass in initiation. We explore why your old moves might be backfiring and how to approach your partner in a way that calms their nervous system and opens the door for desire. Get out of the roommate rut and back into romance, without pressure or awkward sex talks. 👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance In this episode:
Say Hi or share your takeaway: @IntimacyAfterKids on Instagram | |||
| Hormones, Mood Swings, and Midlife WTFs: An Interview with Brooke from Marriage in Perimenopause | 28 Oct 2025 | 00:34:27 | |
If you've ever found yourself wondering, "Who even am I right now?" - you're not alone. This episode is a must-listen for couples navigating midlife, marriage, and the hormonal rollercoaster known as perimenopause (and andropause — yes, it's a thing). My guest Brooke Davis gets real about how these changes can wreck emotional regulation and connection if we’re not prepared. We talk about:
💥 PSA: This season of life doesn't have to end in divorce or dead bedrooms. But it does require new tools. | |||
| Perimenopause & Libido: A guide for you and your partner | 21 Oct 2025 | 00:20:03 | |
If your partner's libido seems MIA since perimenopause showed up or if you are wondering where your own went, this episode is for you. We're unpacking what's really going on with libido changes in this season, and how to stop treating each other like broken sex robots. This is part 2 of our Perimenopause + Intimacy series, and today's convo includes the science of libido, nervous system safety, responsive vs spontaneous desire, and why your body (or your partner's) might just need a different kind of invite. 🎧 What you’ll hear:
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| Perimenopause is Wrecking Our Sex Life, What Now? | 14 Oct 2025 | 00:20:55 | |
If you're feeling like roommates instead of lovers, perimenopause might be playing a bigger role than you think. Whether you're the higher libido partner waiting for things to "go back to normal," or the one navigating body changes, stress, and zero desire... you're not alone. This episode kicks off our Perimenopause + Intimacy series — and it's packed with practical insights to help you stop spinning in "maybe someday" mode. 🎉 Also, it's our 50th episode! If this podcast has helped you feel less alone or more connected, leave a review or DM me on Instagram @intimacyafterkids. I love hearing from you. Join the 14-Day Challenge: In this episode:
💌 Say hi or share your takeaway: @intimacyafterkids | |||