Explore every episode of the podcast The Scarlet Edit: Infidelity, Divorce, Starting Over.

Will he leave his wife? Does he still think about me? Why don't I feel shame about my affair? I sat down with Lauren LaRusso, psychotherapist, author of Beyond Infidelity, and a betrayed wife herself, to get into the questions both sides of an affair are afraid to ask out loud.

She was the betrayed wife. I was the other woman. Lauren works with every role in the affair triangle, affair partners included, and we get into shame vs. guilt, why the affair partner is the one who gets the scarlet letter, and why I've never felt shame about my affair.

We talk about affair partner grief, the silence after an affair ends, and grieving a future that never happened. Lauren names affair partner math, and I admit to looking up divorce laws in his state when he never told me he was getting divorced.

Lauren also shares how discovering her ex-husband's affair shaped her practice, what she missed while married to a doctor in training, why divorce is sad even when you want out, and why she calls infidelity a gift. I've said I don't regret being the other woman. We end up in the same place from opposite sides.

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Is the other woman a homewrecker? According to my YouTube comments, yes. According to me, no. This week I read the comments people leave on my videos and I talk back.

It started with a man I've never met reading one 600-word article on my Substack and deciding I'm basically a wh*re. I blocked him. Then I went to YouTube, because YouTube comments are where it all lives. Zero self-respect. Homewrecker. Repent. You called it love, it was desperation. You were delusional. I answer every one.

Some of the comments are actually good questions. How could I trust a married man who was lying to his wife? Why don't I feel remorse? Can an affair be real love? I get into all of it, including why I trusted him, why I don't feel bad, and why judging my actions and judging me are one and the same.

I close with an exchange with a wife who commented on my video about his wife knowing, and why I still answer the comments people leave.

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Why don't I feel guilty about my affair? And why does everyone expect me to? Last week a man commented on my Substack article to tell me I'm a whore. He read one piece of my life and decided who I am. I blocked him, deleted it, and then started thinking about shame.

Shame and guilt are two different feelings. Guilt says I feel bad that I did that. Shame says I am bad. A lot of shame comes from what we think other people will think of us, and sometimes it has nothing to do with anything we did. I talk about the difference, and about why society expects anyone involved in an affair, whether you cheated, or you were the other woman or the other man, to repent and ask the world for forgiveness.

I don't feel shame. I don't feel guilt. I don't regret the relationship I was in, and I won't ask strangers to forgive me. Many of my listeners and clients have told me they feel the same way. I explain why that isn't me condoning affairs, why I love who I am on this side of it, and why I don't believe you can force yourself to feel a way you don't.

I also mention my episode with Dr. Zoe Shaw on shame and complex shame, and I'm asking men who've had an affair, and women who've been involved in one in any role, how they felt once it was over.

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Should you tell a new partner you were the other woman? When I first started dating again post-breakup, I decided I would. I led with it. If I had to tell a man eventually, why not tell him from the jump?

Back then, it backfired. The men who showed up looked great on paper and were married, had a girlfriend, or were "separated" and living on a friend's couch. Some of them assumed my honesty meant I'd do it again. Absolutely not. I shed some tears, put dating on pause, and put the next two years into myself.

I also get into midlife dating and men lying about their age on the apps (one Hinge match said 48 and posted a golf swing that said 65), why talking about sex still makes me crawl into my shell like a turtle, and my Q4 plans: Kiss and Tell on Substack and a brand new TikTok.

This go around with dating looked nothing like the last, and The Summer of George Bonus Series wrapped up last week where I documented it all.

Because The Scarlet Edit is public, when I matched with men on Hinge this summer, I sent the podcast first. The single, confident ones didn't ask a bunch of questions. The right people won't look at your past like you did something horrible and should be punished for it.

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Taking a break from dating apps after a summer of putting myself out there. That's where I landed in the Summer of George finale. Sixteen Friday episodes, four months, three chapters I didn't see coming, and one very gross run-in with a bird in Greece.

I spent my last two weeks in Greece living the way I love to live here. My table at the waterfront cafe where the Wi-Fi connects the second I sit down. A friend's first run of her new food tour. And a bird that shit on my head halfway through it. Second time in my life. The first was Cambodia in 2013, and that time at least I had a pool to dive into.

I also get into why I called it the Summer of George in the first place. Seinfeld, a clip I found on Instagram, and my own summer of yes: making myself uncomfortable, trying the things I kept saying I'd try, and putting myself back out there to date on purpose.

Then what's next. My Hinge is paused, freshly updated, and going back on once I'm in Scottsdale after my 30-year high school reunion and a mastermind I'm speaking at. And Kiss & Tell, my new Substack, with a free weekly essay that goes deeper on the show and a paid tier that alternates between my diary and your anonymous confessions. If this summer taught me anything, put yourself out there. You'll be surprised at what happens.

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Are affairs just about sex? It's the question people jump to the second they hear the word affair, and after last week's conversation with Dr. Marie Murphy, I wanted to go deeper with my own answer.

Yes, sex plays a role. We crave intimacy and connection, and some people go looking for it because they're not getting any of it at home. I get it. Physical intimacy is a non-negotiable for me too. But if my affair had only been about sex, it never would have lasted as long as it did. You reach a point with someone where you either like who they are or you don't, and the sex can't carry that.

I get into why so many people are so curious about affairs in the first place, how attraction works when it's instant versus when it grows, and why so many women never discover what their body is actually capable of until they're with someone who wants to enjoy it with them. This is one of the more personal ones, and at 48 it still feels strange to feel awkward talking about the most primal thing two people can do.

Affairs tap into a level of intimacy, physical and emotional, that people are craving and not getting anywhere else. That's the part nobody discusses while they're busy with the scandal of it all.

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Dating in your 40s will teach you things about yourself you didn't expect, and this one taught me plenty. This is the second-to-last week of The Summer of George, and instead of another wild recap, I'm tired in the best way and doing something different. I'm in Greece, my favorite place in the world, living a little softer these last few weeks and looking back at the four people I dated this summer and what I'm actually keeping from each.

There's the guy who talked at me for twenty minutes straight while I finished my entire meal. The London fling that reminded me confident, fun men are out there and interested. The Hinge match who resurfaced with a text doing the absolute least, no apology for dropping the ball, and got exactly the response he earned: none. Because I am not forgettable, and neither are you.

And then the Scottsdale guy, who I did like, and who I wanted to text after a little Greek wine with my girlfriends. I didn't. Not because I stopped caring, but because I respect myself too much. I also get into the story my brain has run since junior high, how I used AI to spot the pattern, and how I finally changed an ending that was never serving me.

Underneath all of it is the thing solo travel has given me over the last ten years: a memory bank of joy that's entirely mine, untainted, and worth protecting. That's why I chose to live these last weeks intentionally instead of chasing one more story to tell.

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Are affairs really just about sex? I don't think they are, and neither does my guest this week. I sat down with Dr. Marie Murphy, a non-judgmental infidelity coach, to take apart the biggest myths about why people cheat, starting with the assumption that it's all physical. From my own years as the other woman, I can tell you the sex was never the whole story.

We get into why most people who cheat don't actually want to be cheating, and why so many of them stay stuck instead of leaving. Marie's take: a lot of people cheat and keep cheating because they're terrified of hurting someone, not because they want to. We talk about why "just get divorced" is easier said than done, and why the person who was betrayed sometimes holds onto that hurt like an identity they can't put down.

Then we get to the question I know a lot of you are sitting with: how long do you wait for him to leave his wife? Marie's answer reframes the whole thing. There's no sign from the universe telling you when to walk. The real question is how much longer you'd be gladly willing to stick around and see what happens, which is a very different thing from waiting.

Marie also said something I haven't stopped thinking about: the people most certain they'd never forgive a cheater are usually the ones who've never been cheated on. She has, in dramatic and not-so-dramatic ways, and she still refuses to treat it as the worst thing that can happen to a person.

Marie's Website: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/

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Why do men pull away right when things start to feel real? I spent three weeks seeing a guy in Scottsdale who did everything right, until his kid walked in on us one morning and the whole thing went cold. On this week's The Summer of George I break down what happened, the text I'd been waiting for, and the tiger reel that told me everything I needed to know.

Here's what surprised me. Instead of spiraling, I realized I'm actually ready for something real. I caught myself wondering if my friends would like him, and if I could build something with him. That's new. And when he couldn't meet me on the one thing I don't budge on, communication, I didn't shrink myself to keep him around. I like me more than that.

Then I did what any woman back on the apps in her 40s does. I gave Hinge a whirl in Greece and matched with a guy who lied about his height and could barely speak English in person. I left in about thirty seconds. Because lying about your height is a red flag, and I don't owe a stranger a third glass of wine.

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Wanting to be chosen is something we all carry, and inside an affair it turns into its own kind of ache. In this solo episode I get into what it actually means to wait for a married man to choose you, why the fantasy that he'll eventually leave his wife feels so real when you're living it, and what the odds actually look like once you step back and do the math on any of it.

I talk about the five years I spent as the other woman, the moment I started questioning whether being chosen was even the right thing to want, and the question I now put to my coaching clients: if he walked up to you at a bar tonight, knowing everything you know now, would he be the guy you'd pick? Some say yes. Plenty say no. That answer changes everything.

This is also where I get honest about choosing yourself, and why I think that phrase gets thrown around online without anyone explaining how it actually works. I go back to the first time I did it, standing on a sidewalk at 38, deciding there was no next time. That decision is the whole episode.

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Should you take dating advice from your friends? I used to hand mine every detail, until I realized the advice coming back was shaped by what they wanted for their own lives, not what I wanted for mine. One friend wanted marriage and babies. I didn't. So every time I vented, she answered from her lens, which wasn't the same lens I was looking through.

This is chapter three of The Summer of George, recorded from Greece, where I'm picking the dating diary back up. Dating in my 40s wasn't supposed to come with real feelings this fast, but I've been seeing someone for three weeks and the feelings I swore I wasn't looking for showed up anyway. There was a pause in our communication right before I flew out, and it dropped me back into the thing I keep relearning: the only person I can control is me, right here, right now. Not his reactions, not his feelings, not the 7,000 miles now between us.

I get into why communication is the whole foundation for me, why I can't stand blanket statements like "all men are the worst," and why I think you attract what you say out loud. There's also the Greek TikTok that once got me obliterated in the comments for saying my life here felt simple.

Three summers in, the woman at the gym remembered me. So did the guy I buy eggs from. That's the part of this life I didn't see coming either.

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Can you actually sue your husband's mistress? In North Carolina, you can. This week I sat down with Nicole Sodoma, a family law attorney who's spent 25 years in divorce court, and she walked me through alienation of affection — one of the last laws in the country that lets a wife sue the other woman for the end of her marriage.

But the part that stuck with me wasn't the lawsuit. It was her take on why marriages actually end. After thousands of consultations, Nicole is convinced infidelity is almost never the real reason. It's a symptom. The affair is the thing everyone points to, but underneath it there's usually a slow breakdown in communication that started long before anyone crossed a line.

We get into why women file for divorce more than men, and why that number might not mean what people think it means. We talk about what she asks every single client about the moment their marriage started falling apart, and how shame shows up in divorce even when no one has the words for it yet.

Nicole's been through her own separation, and it changed how she practices. Her closing advice about the space between what happens to you and how you respond is the kind of thing I wrote down the second we stopped recording.

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Getting back on the dating apps in your 40s after you swore you were done with them? That was me in June. If you go back through my old episodes, you'll hear me say more than once that I hated dating apps and would never do them again. I meant it. Then I changed my mind, got back on one, and went in with a completely different mindset — and the whole summer opened up because of it.

This week I'm talking about two mantras that have been running my life lately: you can just do things, and you can change your mind. I get into why the words you say to yourself matter more than you think, why I stopped letting negative self-talk leave my mouth, and how going into dating in midlife expecting nothing except maybe meeting some cool people changed everything about how it went.

I'm also being honest about the reality of it. Dating on an app, if you actually want to date, is a full contact sport. I filtered through hundreds of profiles, matched with dozens, gave my number to men who never once reached out, and went on a handful of dates to get here. It's a lot of time and a lot of putting yourself out there, and I'd do it all again.

Plus an update on the guy I've been seeing, why he knows about the podcast and hasn't listened to a single episode, and the fact that I'm getting on a plane to Greece tomorrow with a suitcase that's still in the closet.

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Did he ever try to get me back? It's the question that lands in my DMs more than almost any other, so this week I'm answering it straight. When I finally ended my relationship with a married man, he didn't come back and he didn't chase me. And I know a lot of you are asking because you're living some version of it right now.

Leaving a relationship where you've spent years waiting to be chosen is its own kind of scary. Because if you walk away and he doesn't come after you, that's one more signal you weren't chosen. I talk through what actually happened after I left: the silence, the text I sent from the bathtub four months later, and the slow fade into years of nothing.

I also get into why we stay stuck waiting to be chosen, why loving a married man means living inside a permanent question mark, and why I still believe he loved me even though love wasn't enough. This is the part nobody warns you about when you're deciding whether to leave a married man you still love.

Ending it to make him chase you isn't a plan. You leave because you finally believe your self-worth is yours and yours alone to claim, and because you deserve a man who can choose you one hundred percent of the time.

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I hadn't dated in a while when I got back out there, and here's what nobody warns you about: dating again after a long time shines a really bright light on every insecurity you thought you'd handled. This is Week 10 of The Summer of George, and I'm six dates in with someone who feels mature in a way I'm not used to. No games, no wondering, no confusion. You know that saying, if he likes you, you'll know, and if he doesn't, you'll be confused? I haven't been confused once.

But dating again surfaced things I wasn't expecting. Insecurities I thought were behind me. So I get honest about where they actually come from, whether they're about me or about how someone's treating me, and how to trace them back to where they started instead of letting them run the show.

I also get into the story that made my entire week. A guy I'm seeing found this podcast by typing "smoke show named Nikki who has a podcast about affairs" into Gemini. My show came up. Then my friends started plugging it into ChatGPT from all over, one of them in Brazil, and I kept coming up. Every bit of SEO and AEO work I pour into The Scarlet Edit is working, and now I've got the receipts.

Plus why I've stopped taking pictures on dates, why being present matters more than documenting the moment, and why I'm counting all of this as a win.

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Why do people get into affairs when almost nobody actually wants to be in one? That's the question I sat with this week after a comment I made on last week's guest episode. I believe most of us are good at our core and don't want to hurt the people in our lives. So when someone ends up in an affair anyway, I think it points to something lacking within — not only in the marriage, but in the person.

I can only speak for myself. The version of me who got into a relationship with a married man didn't have the confidence in relationships that I have now. I was desperate to be loved and to be seen in a way I hadn't felt before. And here's what took me years to understand: nobody can fill that void for you. Nobody could hand me self-worth. I had to build it.

I also get into the word that kept coming up when I finally told my coworkers I was ending my marriage — courage — and why so many people stay stuck because they don't believe they'll be okay on the other side. I talk about the moment on vacation when I said "I value myself" out loud and startled myself, the idea that you're the common denominator in your own relationships, and why the internal work is every bit as hard as the external.

If you're in an affair right now and none of this feels good to hear, that's fine. When we know better, it becomes our responsibility to do better — and there's no timer on that.

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Why do men make plans and then vanish? This week I got flaked on by a guy who made the second date himself, went quiet for four days, and then sent me a vague "something came up" text I never heard back from. I break down what actually happened, why I called him out on trying to sext me way too soon, and why a guy pushing to sext after one early dinner is a fast turnoff and usually a sign he only wants a hookup.

I'm back on the apps and dating in midlife, and this is the real, unfiltered version of it. I talk about the thing that still baffles me — how someone can be mid-conversation, actively planning a date, and then disappear like you never existed. I also get into why I refuse to do that to anyone, including the younger match I turned down last week by just telling him the truth instead of ghosting him.

Then there's the good stuff. I went on a date with a guy I connected with over food, broke my one rule by skipping the pre-date phone call, and it turned into two more nights out — including a second date at a cigar lounge that spiraled into total chaos around us. I talk about dating multiple people at once, what I'm actually looking for, and how the whole thing throws my healthy habits right out the window.

This is The Summer of George, week nine, live from Scottsdale. One date at a time, actions over words, and enjoying every strange, funny minute of it.

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Should you stay or should you leave? If you're the other woman, that question runs on a loop in your head every single day, and nobody around you seems to have an answer that helps. My guest this week is Francesca Zoia, a relationship coach out of Toronto who works with women stuck in exactly that loop, and our conversation picks up right where the last few weeks left off.

We get into what to do when you're in love with a married man and waiting for him to choose you. I share the question I ask my own clients when they can't decide whether to stay or go, the one that cuts straight through the fantasy. We talk about why "will he leave his wife for me" is the wrong place to start, why "just leave him" is the least helpful thing anyone can say to a woman in an affair, and how to look at the relationship you actually have instead of the one you've built in your head.

Francesca opens up about her own 14-year relationship, nine of those years long distance, and the hours she spent waiting for a text back before she learned to set a boundary and stop making herself endlessly available. I talk about how I finally knew I'd outgrown my relationship, the phone call that made me think he was finally going to pick me, and the solo month I spent traveling that showed me what choosing myself actually looked like.

This one closes the loop on staying or leaving by refusing to answer it for you, because the real question was never about him. It's about what you want, and getting honest enough to say it out loud.

Francesca's Website: https://lovewithfrancesca.com/

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Getting back into dating after a couple of years off the apps stirs up more than you expect. I'm eight weeks into The Summer of George and back in Scottsdale after LA, and this week I'm talking about what it's actually like to date again in midlife: the British guy I met on Hinge, the two dates in LA and one in Vegas, and why the stop in the UK on my way to Greece isn't happening.

I get into why communication has to be the foundation of anything you're building, how slang and sarcasm can land wrong even when nobody means harm, and what I learned about myself getting back in the game after being out of it for a while. The boundaries and expectations I have now are different than they used to be, and voicing them to someone new was a whole different skill.

I also talk about dating without attaching to the outcome, meeting people to actually meet them instead of auditioning them for a role, and why the apps can feel like a numbers game even when you're dealing with real people with real feelings. Then there's the man who recognized my voice from a dating profile, traced it back to the 92 days I spent posting last fall, and asked me to dinner anyway.

And I get into the story your brain writes about a match before you ever meet them, the version you build out of a few photos and a bio, and why they were never going to live up to something they didn't agree to.

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When you're the other woman and you're the one who ends it, you're not just grieving him. You're grieving the life you imagined and never got to live. And that can be so much more heartbreaking than grieving what actually was.

This is the third episode in a row that goes hand in hand — first being worthy of someone who can be with you 100% of the time, then getting fed up with yourself enough to make the change, and now the part nobody warns you about: what happens after you make it. The rebuilding. The grief that comes in ten directions at once. You lose a best friend, a lover, a confidant, someone you spent years of your life with. And on top of all of it, you lose the fantasy. The moving in together. The being introduced to his friends and family. The being his plus one out loud. All the moments you built in your head and were quietly waiting for. You end up sad about something that never even happened.

I get into why he was never going to be the one to end it. Why would he? He was getting everything he needed from you and it cost him nothing. So you had to be the one. You had to break your own heart to take your life back. I talk about no contact and why it isn't optional, about limerence and how fast these relationships pull you under, and about the fact that I still call mine a real relationship — he had an all-access pass to my whole life, my family, my friends — and I know exactly what it was and exactly what it wasn't.

Underneath the waiting for him to choose you is the belief that when love is enough, you'll finally be enough. You already were. You were always enough. A tiny fraction of these ever work out, and the way out is choosing yourself over him, breaking your own heart, and trusting that the life on the other side is better than the one you were waiting for. Mine is. I'm obsessed with it.

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I just wrapped 5 weeks in LA, and I'm calling it the best decision I've made this year. This is the last The Summer of George from that trip, and I'm getting into all of it — why I went back to a city I hadn't lived in since right after college, what it felt like to spend that much time somewhere on my own, and why getting out of my comfort zone turned out to be exactly what I needed.

I talk through the food (a viral chicken sandwich, a coconut cake I got out of bed for at 2 a.m., and a caesar wrap I ate on the beach), the Dodgers (whoops I said Giants in the episode) game, the comedy shows, the hikes, and the people I finally met in person after only knowing them online. But the part I didn't see coming was a friend.

A while back I recorded an episode about friendship being a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and about losing two friends I thought I'd keep. While I was in LA, a friend I've had since I was 19, someone I truly thought was gone, reached out. We had lunch. And what actually happened between us was nothing like what I'd told myself.

I also get into the dating update everyone keeps asking about, the drive home at 3:33 in the morning to beat the desert heat, and why July ended up being the best month this podcast has ever had.

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Ending an affair with a married man usually gets framed as a decision about him. When he'll finally choose you. When he'll give you 100%. When you'll be done waiting. This episode is about the part nobody names: the day you get fed up with yourself.

The idea came from a call with a client. I could hear the love she has for him tangled up with the disappointment she has in herself, and I told her what I wish someone had told me sooner. You just need to get fed up with yourself. Fed up with being anxious. Fed up with waiting by the phone. Fed up with skipping out on your own life for a man who won't fully show up in his.

I walk through the day I ended my own relationship, which I hadn't planned and didn't see coming. I talk about the bar he raised so high he couldn't meet it, the slow burn you don't realize is a burn until you're already in love, and the exact moment being the other woman stopped being worth it to me. Not because of him. Because of who I was becoming while I waited.

If you're in it right now, this is what fed up with yourself actually sounds like, and why it's the signal that makes walking away possible.

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Getting back on dating apps in your 40s sounded like the last thing I wanted to do. I've been single a while, I'm independent, and I'd gotten very comfortable in my own company. Every time someone brought up the apps, my answer was an immediate no. This summer I changed my mind.

I decided to put myself back out there, more approachable in the world and yes, back on the apps, but this time with a different attitude. I went in to have fun instead of dreading it, because I believe the energy you bring changes what you get back. One date in Scottsdale that was a hard no, to a date here in LA, which led to another, which led to a third date in Las Vegas.

In this The Summer of George update I get into what dating again after years of being single actually brings up, why I think humor is wildly underrated, and the little country bar moment in Vegas that made the whole trip. I also talk about the part nobody warns you about: figuring out how much of your life to share when you're a person whose whole thing is talking about her life.

Plus a seven-mile hike I did not plan on, the wildlife I was trying to avoid on the walk back, and why I keep coming back to the idea that every small decision compounds into the path you end up on.

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A couple of months ago I said something on this show that I want to say again, because it's the whole thing: you are worthy of someone who can be with you 100%, 100% of the time. When you're in an affair, that's not what you're getting. You're getting whatever he's able to give you, and it is not 100%.

Waiting is a huge part of being the other woman, and it's so much bigger than waiting for him to leave. It's waiting for him to call at all. Waiting for your phone to light up. Waiting to know when you'll see him again. I used to say no to plans and skip phone calls with friends because I was scared I'd miss him. I used to get in bed and put my phone right next to my face on the pillow so I'd see it light up if he texted. I don't do that anymore, and I'm so glad.

I talk about what out loud actually means, because some of you are going to tell me he holds your hand and calls you his girlfriend, and he does go out with you in public. I had all of that too. And still, to this day, nobody in his life knows I existed. If something happened to him, nobody would call me. That's the part that's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't lived it.

I also get into where this all lands: what you believe about yourself. The messages you send me all follow the same pattern, and it's the one I was in too. You're still living in the beginning of it, back when everything was new and you felt seen for the first time in years, while the actual relationship has become something else entirely. At some point the question stops being when is he going to choose me and becomes how long is it going to take for me to get fed up with my own behavior. I tell the story of the day I hit rock bottom in a bathtub in the middle of a work day, and what changed the morning after.

If any of this sounds like you, and you need someone to talk to, the link below gets you there.

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Dating in your 40s comes with a wrinkle I didn't see coming when I started this show: I'm Googleable. My Instagram bio says I was the other woman for five years, and anyone I match with can find that in about thirty seconds. I matched with a man on Hinge who did exactly that. He followed me before we ever met, and he still showed up. Twice.

In week five of The Summer of George I get into what it's like to date when your past is public, why the second date beat the first, and the kind of connection that only happens in person. I also drove down to Manhattan Beach to sit with relationship coach Jonathon Aslay for two and a half hours, and it reminded me how much we're all craving real, face-to-face time after years of living on Zoom.

Plus a shoutout to the everyday women who've come on this show and told their stories on camera for the first time. Those are the ones that stick with you, because they sound just like you and me.

Jonathon's episode

Laura's episode

Hope's episode 1 and episode 2

Sydney's episode

Amber's episode

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This week I sit down with Amber, who reached out after I put a post on LinkedIn asking to talk to women who'd been betrayed. What came out of our conversation is one of the most honest infidelity stories I've put on the show. Amber's mom cheated on her dad when Amber was eight. Years later, she married a man whose father had also cheated repeatedly on his mother. They walked into their marriage carrying the exact same pattern from opposite directions, and for years, they lived it out.

Amber and I get into the long version of what happened, including the sexual assault at 22 she kept secret for 23 years, the email from a friend telling her she'd slept with Amber's now-husband, the period where she essentially gave him permission to cheat, the other woman who got pregnant, and the moment she and her husband call The Crucible, when everything finally came out on the table. We also talk about why most women who stay with a husband who's cheated keep bringing it back up years later, what real repair looks like, and the difference between forgiving someone and actually putting it down.

Amber doesn't paint herself as the only victim, which is what makes this episode different. She talks about her own self-betrayal, the sex she had that didn't mean anything to her, the men she chose who weren't available, and her behavior as a married woman that she's not proud of either. We talk about what it actually took for her and her husband to rebuild a marriage that, on paper, never should have lasted.

This is also the work I do with women in my coaching practice. So much of what keeps women stuck after infidelity, divorce, or any kind of betrayal isn't the betrayal itself. It's the self-worth piece that was missing long before any of it happened.

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Getting comfortable doing things alone didn't happen overnight for me. It happened because I travel by myself all the time, and somewhere along the way sitting solo at a restaurant, a movie, or a concert stopped feeling like a big deal. This week I took it further than usual.

It's week four of the Summer of George and I'm two and a half weeks into my LA stay. I spent the Fourth of July at a beach party in Hermosa, I'm heading to my first Dodgers game in over a decade, and I finally have a dating update worth sharing. The one that actually feels like a real date instead of another meetup.

I also drove out to Oxnard by myself to catch Tom Segura running new material at a tiny comedy club, front row, four feet from the stage. I get into the strange realness of parasocial relationships, why I think everyone should get better at doing things by themselves, and what a year of showing up every single week has taught me.

Because today is the one-year anniversary of The Scarlet Edit. One year of Thursdays. Thank you for being here for all of it.

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One year ago today, I posted the first episode of The Scarlet Edit and told the world I was the other woman for five years. I didn't know if anyone would listen. Now, 71 episodes in, this show has reached women in 97 countries, every U.S. state, and six of the seven continents.

This is the episode where I tell the origin story. How a podcast called Round Two became The Scarlet Edit. Why I shelved the Affairs Through the Ages series after a couple of months. And what The Summer of George arc is doing for me right now.

I also get into the line I haven't said straight out before: you owe nobody your relationship history. I chose to share mine because hiding it was standing in the way of the woman I was becoming. That choice changed my work, my coaching practice, and how I show up for the women claiming their self-worth alongside infidelity, divorce, and starting over.

One year, 71 episodes, and 97 countries later, I've never been more sure I'm doing what I was meant to do.

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Getting out of your comfort zone is a lot easier when you actually leave home to do it. I'm in Los Angeles for the summer as part of my "The Summer of George" series, and this episode is about why relocating — even temporarily — strips away the easy excuses to stay in. I get into building confidence in midlife through small physical choices, why working from coffee shops changed my whole week, and why freshening up before I leave the house has become part of how I show up in public.

I also get into the dating update everyone keeps DMing me about — no actual dates yet, but a house party, a very handsome stranger, and a conversation that reminded me what midlife dating confidence actually feels like. And I talk about how my relationship with networking has completely flipped. I used to avoid it entirely. Now a LinkedIn connection turns into cocktails at Soho House in West Hollywood and one of the best conversations I've had all summer.

This one is about what happens when you actually put yourself in rooms you'd normally skip. Working from coffee shops, saying yes to a party you don't have to go to, meeting someone you've only known online — small moves, real shifts.

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One year of The Scarlet Edit, and to lead into the anniversary episode I pulled the best moments from my 2026 guest conversations into one place. Seven women, seven completely different angles on infidelity, divorce, and starting over.

You'll hear Amanda, The Kink Consultant, on why kink and shame so often push people toward affairs. Emily on what it took to make decisions on her own again after ending a long relationship. Naomi on finally pulling the trigger on divorce and having her husband served at the business they owned together. Katarina on the pain of being the "other person" waiting on the sidelines for someone to leave their marriage. Hope on her three-month affair and what she calls the worst, best time of her life. Danielle on how differently she was treated by other moms once she became a single mom after her husband left her for another woman. And Sydney on how she found out about the women her husband was seeing in Ohio thanks to an Android watch he left at home.

Seven women, seven completely different angles on infidelity, divorce, and starting over. If one of these clips makes you want to go back and listen to the full conversation, every episode is linked in the show notes.

Thank you for being a part of year one. Here's to the next one.

Amanda's episode

Emily's episode

Naomi's episode

Katarina's episode

Hope's episodes part 1 & part 2

Danielle's episode

Sydney's episode

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This week I'm getting into midlife dating in a new city, why putting yourself out there matters more than the outcome, and what I'm learning about building a life when the snowbirds leave town.

Week two of the Summer of George dropped me in Los Angeles, and the energy here is already different. I'm staying with a friend, walking to a new gym, taking my first workout class in years, and waking up to LA birds instead of Scottsdale ones. I lived in this city for four and a half years right out of college. Coming back at this stage of my life — comfortable in who I am, clear about what I'm doing — has reminded me how much the right city can match your frequency.

I also made a move this week I want to talk about. I reached out to a guy I'd met on Instagram a few months ago, someone who lives in LA. We'd traded voice notes for a couple of weeks before life pulled us in different directions. Since I'm in town, I figured I'd ask if he wanted to grab coffee. He wrote back kindly and told me he's seeing someone. Totally fine. The win wasn't the meetup. The win was the action.

For someone who is more of a traditional dater — I like the man to plan, to lead, to hold the door — pressing send on that message was the entire point. An object in motion stays in motion. I paid for one month of Hinge, canceled the auto-renew, and I'm staying open to whatever shows up in person while I'm in LA for the next few weeks.

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Can you actually be friends with your ex? I dug into the research, including the four motivations people land on when they stay in each other's lives after a breakup and the data on who's most likely to do it. Then I went a few layers deeper than the typical conversation goes. Friends with your ex in general is one question. Friends with your ex after divorce is another. Friends with your ex after infidelity is harder. And if you were the other woman, that's a different conversation entirely.

I share my own examples on all of it. I'm still friends with my ex-husband a decade out. I also answer a listener question about did my ex married man and I speak after I ended it? I share the very specific moment, four months after I ended it, when I sent him a song from the bathtub. We reconnected for a few months and I haven't spoken to him since. The difference between those two stories isn't random. It comes down to one question. What are you keeping the friendship for, and where is your self-worth in the answer?

I also get into whether the betrayed spouse can ever be friends with the cheater, how the kids' ages change everything when you're co-parenting after infidelity, and what to ask yourself if you're stuck in the deciding phase. And if you've ever wondered whether the other woman gets to stay friends with him after it ends, I have a take on that you won't hear anywhere else.

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Welcome to the first bonus episode of The Summer of George. After swearing I'd never get back on a dating app, I did. This is week one — a goal of three meet ups, because c'mon, they aren't dates, one that actually happened, and everything I learned in between.

I'm sharing what it's really like getting back on dating apps in midlife. The strange disconnect between who you talk to in an app and who shows up in person. The snap judgment debate — do I give every guy a real chance, or do I trust my gut the way I would if he walked up to me in public? And how going in with a different mindset changed how I experienced the whole thing.

There was the guy who messaged me from work asking if I wanted to get frisky. The one who opened with a crop top comment. The man I talked to on the phone for an entire hour, made plans with for Saturday night, and then never heard from again. Straight ghost. And one lunch with a newly single guy where I noticed three moments my own boundaries went loose and I want to do better next time.

The Summer of George is my commitment to saying yes more, dating again, and getting back out there. Every Friday through the end of September, I'll drop a quick update on how it's going. Week one is in the books. Onto SoCal.

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Sydney reached out on Instagram. Her husband has had three affairs, two in 2021 and one this past February, and she'd been listening to the show for a while. She wanted to ask me about something I'd said in a recent episode, woman to woman, not as a fight. I said yes immediately, and I also kind of panicked. In over sixty episodes, I've never sat across from a wife who knew I'd been the other woman in someone else's marriage.

What came out of this surprised me. Sydney is sharp, honest, and self-aware in a way that's rare. She walks me through how she found out both times, both times the same way, his phone, and what it looks like to go into FBI mode and call the other woman before you've even processed what's happening. We talk about why she stayed the first time, why she's still there now ("I'm just here. That doesn't mean I'm staying."), and the fear of leaving when you co-parent a six-year-old with a man who's also genuinely your best friend.

We get into when affairs are a symptom of something deeper, the difference between hating someone and being indifferent to them, what it actually feels like when your gut tells you he's cheating again, and what she'd say to the woman her husband was sleeping with if she could sit down with her now. She's already done that with all three. It didn't go how you'd think.

This is one of the most respectful conversations I've had on this show. Sydney's perspective is new territory for me, and if you've been on either side of this, it's worth your time.

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A quick bonus episode to put every way you can work with me in one place. Free, paid, and one offer that isn't even open yet.

I walk through the free side first — the podcast itself, Instagram, and the Self-Worth Reset, a free download where I share the five truths I had to confront after divorce and the affair that came before it. From there, I get into the 60-minute one-on-one, who it's for and who it's not, and my two coaching packages for women in the middle of infidelity, divorce, or starting over.

I also tease something I haven't formally released yet: a small, application-only group program. I share why I'm doing it this way after my Patreon for women going through infidelity didn't land, what I learned about why community around these topics has to be built intentionally, and who I'm offering it to first.

If you've been wondering whether self-worth coaching after infidelity or divorce is a fit for you, this is the one episode where I lay it all out.

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I matched with a guy on a dating app. We planned a date. Thirty minutes later, he unmatched me. That's the open. That's where this season starts.

Welcome to the Summer of George. The reference is from Seinfeld, where George gets let go with a three-month severance and decides to make the most of it. That's where I am this summer. Not unemployed, but standing in a quiet moment after a busy four months and realizing my social life in Scottsdale was built on other people's schedules. The snowbirds left. The visitors stopped coming. And I had not done a very good job of building an actual life here for myself.

So I'm doing something about it. I got back on a dating app after saying I never would. I'm going to workout classes I've always wanted to try. I'm networking. I'm saying yes. The whole point of this summer is to put myself out there and see what happens.

There's also something most single women in midlife won't say out loud. I love my life. I wake up grateful. And I still get lonely sometimes. Both can be true at once. I'm not settling, and I'm not waiting around either.

The unmatch story is the perfect kickoff because it sets up something I didn't think about when I started this show: I'm single and I'm Google-able. The person I end up with is going to love this version of me. Anyone who can't handle my past has saved us both some time.

The Summer of George runs June 10 through September 30. Weekly bonus updates wherever I happen to be. Scottsdale, LA, back to Scottsdale, then Greece. Come along.

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This week I'm joined by Danielle Stanton, founder of Fuel4Ever wellness and a woman who's been through it. Married for 20 years, two small kids, stay-at-home mom, and then one day her husband came home and said he'd met someone else. No warning. No signs she could see at the time. He went on to marry that woman, who still lives in her community. They co-parent. She doesn't hate her.

Danielle and I talk about what it actually means to forgive the other woman — not for her, but for yourself. We get into the part nobody warns you about: how the married moms at school treated her once she was single. How she lost friends she thought were forever. How she found a tighter circle in the other single moms who'd been through it.

We also get into the part of her story that almost took her out. At 38, she was hospitalized for what doctors told her was depression. It wasn't depression. It was perimenopause, missed and mistreated for years. Getting that diagnosis right, advocating for her own health, and starting hormone replacement is what built the foundation for everything she has now. She calls it being the CEO of your own health, and after this conversation, I get it.

Danielle's website, instagram, tiktok

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I've been watching the Mike Vrabel and Dianna Russini story unfold for a few weeks, and the more I dug in, the more it stopped being about an affair and started being about something else entirely. A bar in New York in 2020. A boat in Tennessee in 2021 with her pregnant and just the two of them on the water. A casino in Mississippi weeks after he got fired. An adults-only resort in Sedona this spring. Six years of "coincidences." They've denied all of it.

But the part that actually got me wasn't the timeline. It was her own words. Resurfaced clips of her on national TV calling her husband average. Joking she'd be divorced by Christmas. Telling a story about interviewing Jimmy Garoppolo the night before her wedding and calling it "a sign." She said she stayed skeptical about her own husband, in her words, until she met him at the altar.

So I had to ask the question nobody else covering this is asking. Why was she getting married in the first place? And it opens up something so many of us have lived through — women who married men they weren't sure about because they were worried about time, worried about starting over, worried about being alone. I know five women who've admitted some version of this to me. I'm betting you do too.

This is a bonus episode and I am not pretending I know what's true between these two people. I'm just talking about the question their story raises for the rest of us. Why do women marry men they don't actually want to marry — and what does that cost down the line?

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I noticed I've been saying "what about me?" in the voice I made up for my dog for over fifteen years. And one day it hit me — I've been feeling that since I was a kid. So this episode is a reflective, vulnerable share about what that question actually means when it comes to relationships, friendships, and being single in midlife.

I looked back at my four major relationships and saw something I didn't love seeing: I was the common denominator. So I talk about what I was settling for, what I was overlooking, and the question that was sitting underneath all of it. Am I worthy of being chosen the way I want to be chosen? My self-worth was lacking. That's what I keep coming back to.

I also get into the loneliness piece. The quiet of midlife. A decades-long friendship that ended without my choice. Why I think envy of younger women's friendships is real and worth naming. And the promise I made myself this week to actually go try the things I've been telling myself I'd try since I moved here in October.

There's no answer at the end of this one. I wasn't looking for one. Sometimes the question itself is all that's needed to be said out loud.

Episodes referenced:

About not marrying for a best friend

The tampon theory

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I opened up Instagram last week and asked what you wanted me to talk about that I hadn't covered yet. The questions you sent in were so good I built an entire episode around five of them.

In this listener Q&A, I'm answering the things you actually want to know. Is there anything I'd do differently about my five years as the other woman? When did I stop caring what people thought of my choices? How do I date now after the affair and the divorce, and what's an immediate no? What would I tell a woman who's still in an affair and still hoping it works out? And if I could tell single women in their early 30s one thing about dating, what would it be?

I get into the questions I wish I'd asked during the affair, what it felt like to launch this podcast and put my whole story out into the world, why I'm not currently dating and what I'm actually looking for when I am, and the one thing I'd want the other woman to hear from someone who's lived it. I also share something I think most single women miss when they're trying to figure out if a relationship is right for them.

If you've ever wondered what it's actually like to be the other woman, what comes after, or how to know what you want in your next relationship, this one's for you.

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I was the other woman for five years and I don't regret it. That's the sentence that breaks people. The comments roll in every week telling me I should be ashamed, that I lack morals, that I should be performing remorse on demand. I'm not doing that. I never will. And in this episode I get into why.

The expectation that we have to apologize, perform regret, and beg for forgiveness after any choice that falls outside the so-called norm has nothing to do with growth. It's theater. Real accountability is understanding the choice you made, knowing why you'd choose differently now, and taking responsibility for the impact. Shame is hating yourself forever on a schedule that makes other people comfortable. Those are two very different things, and I chose accountability.

I also get into the myth that the other woman is the architect of a betrayal she had no contractual obligation to prevent. The framing that I somehow ruined a marriage I wasn't in is wild to me. I wasn't in a relationship with his wife. I wasn't strategizing against her. I was loving someone who loved me back, and his marriage was his to manage. Every affair has its own anatomy. There's no one-size-fits-all moral verdict that applies cleanly to every story, and the people loudest in my comments are usually the ones who've never lived inside one.

You are not defined by one chapter of your life. That's the whole point of this show. I took everything I learned from that relationship, I let go of the sadness, and I built a life I love. I want every woman listening to know she can do the same.

Missed Hope's episodes? Check them out here and here

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In January 2009, my guest Naomi Kreske went looking through her husband's phone on a hunch. What she found ended the white picket fence life she thought she had: an affair, a relationship three months in, and a husband who wanted out that same night. She told him no. She wanted to save the marriage. Over the next year, he left her two more times for two more women.

Naomi was a stay-at-home mom with three kids under five — a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and a nine-month-old. She and her ex co-owned a pub. The house went into foreclosure. She kept taking him back because she didn't want to be a statistic, because her parents had a 50-year marriage, because she didn't know how to tell anyone she'd "failed." If you've ever wondered what to do when your husband keeps cheating, this is what it actually looks like in real time.

She calls the years that followed her hot mess express. Ten years of survival mode. Bad decisions. Toxic people. Comfort in the misery. The turning point was a single line in a book — her aha moment about why she kept attracting the same kind of man — and the moment she finally said the thing out loud: I am the problem.

Today Naomi is a Jay Shetty certified life coach, remarried to a man she dated on and off for years, about to turn 50, and unapologetically herself. This conversation is for any woman trying to figure out how to leave a cheating husband, rebuild her life after divorce with kids, or stop being the perpetual victim of the worst thing that ever happened to her.

🌱 Tired of performing fine? Get The Self-Worth Reset.

🎧 New episodes every Thursday!

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I told one of my girlfriends the other day that despite being in serious relationships, I've always kind of felt single. And she said, me too. This episode is what came out of that.

I'm not talking about single in the fun, hitting-the-town way. I'm talking about feeling like I've never really had a man fully choose me across every defining relationship since college. The marriage. The boyfriends. The affair with a married man. Different relationships, different roles, same feeling underneath all of it.

I get into the elephant in the room — yes, my last relationship was with a married man, so of course there were limits on what was available. But this feeling didn't start there. It's been there in every serious relationship I've had. I dig into the question I've never asked myself before: have I been falling in love with potential instead of who's actually in front of me?

I get into the difference between feeling lonely and feeling alone, why I think the word partner is overused, and the kind of relationship I actually want now that I know what I've been missing. I share what my friend said about her marriage that completely shifted how I think about companionship versus best friendship. And I get honest about the grief that comes with realizing the relationship you wanted might never have been the one you were in.

Whether you're married, divorced, the other woman, or somewhere in between, if you've ever been in something serious and still gone to bed feeling like you were on your own, this one is for you.

🌱 Tired of performing fine? Get The Self-Worth Reset.

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This week I'm talking about disappointment and how raising my expectations ended my five-year affair. It's the emotion I see most often in the messages listeners send me about infidelity, the other woman experience, divorce, and relationships that fell apart. Disappointment is the gap between the expectation you had and the reality you're sitting in. Sometimes the other person didn't even know what your expectation was. Sometimes they did and chose not to meet it anyway.

I share a recent experience where someone I respected made comments to me I never saw coming. I fumbled through the moment, processed it hours later in the shower, and felt that burn in my diaphragm that tells you something is really off. The old version of me would have followed up the next day to explain why it didn't sit right. This version of me didn't. Once you know who you are and where your lines are, you don't hand someone the chance to apologize their way back in just because you reached out first.

I also get into how disappointment showed up inside my five-year affair as the other woman. I talk about the bathroom mirror moment a few months after that relationship ended, when I said out loud that I value myself. That was the self-worth shift that changed everything. My expectations started rising, and eventually they rose so high that the married man I was with couldn't meet them anymore. That's when I ended the affair. I didn't want to be the other woman anymore, and he couldn't give me anything different.

Self-worth is the foundation underneath all of this, and it's the work I now do with women one-on-one in my coaching practice. You can't move through disappointment, infidelity, or the end of any relationship until you can name what you're feeling and decide what to do with the information. You control your energy, your time, and who gets access to you. That's the whole game.

New episodes every Thursday.

💌 Business inquiries: teamnikkicorbett@gmail.com

This is part two of my conversation with Hope, the first woman to come on The Scarlet Edit and share her story as the one who cheated. If you haven't listened to part one yet, go back and start there.

In this episode, Hope gets into why she ended the affair, and what it felt like to realize she was addicted to her affair partner rather than in love with him. We talk about how she got caught, the decision to divorce, and the pressure from people around them to go to counseling for a marriage she already knew was over.

Hope also opens up about something she sees as one of the biggest mistakes she made — marrying her husband based on potential rather than reality. She thought he would grow into the provider and protector she needed, but after six years, that potential never materialized. That disconnect fed the resentment that eventually led to the affair.

After the divorce was finalized, she and her ex-husband tried to make it work again. She gave up her business, her investments, and her financial independence to let him lead. She loved it. But he couldn't stop bringing the affair back into every argument, and eventually she had to draw a line.

We also talk about what pushed her to start sharing her story publicly on Instagram, the response she's gotten from women who needed to hear it, and why healing has to be the goal for everyone involved.

Connect with Hope on Instagram

New episodes every Thursday.

💌 Business inquiries: teamnikkicorbett@gmail.com

This is a first for The Scarlet Edit. Hope was a married woman who cheated on her husband and has been bravely sharing that experience on social media.

In this episode, she sits down with me for her very first podcast and walks through the full story of how her affair started, from the moment at a stoplight where she questioned whether her marriage was all her life would ever be, to the slow unraveling of communication with her husband, to meeting the man she'd eventually cheat with.

Hope vulnerably shares about why she didn't just leave, even though she tried more than once. She talks about the unique trap of being married to a "good guy" when your unhappiness doesn't feel like a valid enough reason to walk away. She even admits she used to fantasize about her husband cheating on her so she'd finally have a reason to leave.

She shares how the affair began through a shared work project, how the emotional connection formed before anything physical happened, and the exact moment it officially crossed the line.

We get into the guilt, the shame, the compartmentalization, and her powerful description of what it actually feels like to live inside an affair while you're still married.

Hope calls it the worst best time of her life. There's no peace when you're living in deception, and no amount of highs can outrun that darkness.

This is part one of a two-part conversation. Come back next week for part 2!

Connect with Hope on Instagram

New episodes every Thursday.

💌 Business inquiries: teamnikkicorbett@gmail.com

I responded to every YouTube comment I got about my affair. Of the comments I share in this episode, only one person wrote me back. So, let's talk about it!

This week I'm reading eight comments out loud and giving my unfiltered responses. One person told me 90% of men will cheat no matter what. Another called me a toy who was manipulated. Someone told me I need God. And the longest comment asked what I'd do if it happened to me.

I talk about why I don't perform regret for strangers, why I still believe infidelity is a symptom and not the problem, and why none of us actually know what we'd do in a situation until we're living it. I also push back on the idea that being kept a secret means you weren't loved, because I disagree completely.

If you left one of these comments, come back. Let's keep the conversation going.

New episodes every Thursday.

💌 Business inquiries: teamnikkicorbett@gmail.com

Why do smart, successful people end up in affairs — and then can't leave? What's actually driving the pattern? And how do you know if you're settling or self-sabotaging?

In this episode, I sit down with Katarina Polonska — behavioral scientist, executive relationship strategist, and someone whose own family was torn apart by infidelity. Katarina watched her father's affair destroy her parents' marriage, then found herself repeating the exact same pattern in her own engagement. That wake-up call led her to build a methodology that's now helped hundreds of high performers break the cycle.

We get into the subconscious fear that keeps high performers trapped in double lives, why traditional therapy kept Katarina going in circles for 15 years, what it actually takes to know whether you should stay or go, and why only about 4% of affair relationships survive the transition — and what the ones that make it have in common.

Whether you're the one being betrayed, the one doing the betraying, or the other woman wondering where you fit in all of this — this conversation will challenge how you think about every relationship you're in.

Guest: Katarina Polonska — Behavioral Scientist, Executive Relationship Strategist, Founder of Successfully in Love®

LinkedIn: Katarina Polonska

New episodes every Thursday.

💌 Business inquiries: teamnikkicorbett@gmail.com

Kristin Cabot — the woman from the Coldplay Kiss Cam — finally told her side of the story on Oprah's podcast. She was already separated. He told her he was too. But only one of them got death threats, drive-bys, and 500 calls a day.

90% of the hate came from other women. Every single in-person confrontation — a woman.

I talk about what Kristin revealed, the double standard between how she and Andy Byron were treated, why we judge affairs so harshly, and why women tearing down other women is the part of this story that should bother all of us.

This one's a call for collective grace — and a promise to do better.

New episodes every Thursday.

💌 Business inquiries: teamnikkicorbett@gmail.com

There's a stat that gets cited everywhere in the infidelity space — that 56% of men and 34% of women who cheat rate their marriages as happy.

It shows up in therapy blogs, Reddit threads, podcasts, and articles, and it's used to push the narrative that cheating is random and unpredictable.

I'm calling BS. Not on the data itself, but on what people are doing with it.

In this episode, I break down why self-reporting is flawed, why "happy" has become a dangerously low bar, and why I firmly believe that nobody wakes up and decides to have an affair.

I also tie in data from my Ashley Madison episode, challenge myself on my own belief that happiness is a choice, and share why I think the people who actually do the work in their relationships are the ones who don't end up with cracks. If you've ever heard "it could happen to anyone" and thought that sounded like a cop-out — this one's for you.

Related episode: The Truth About Affairs: Sexless Marriages, Emotional Validation, and Modern Love

New episodes every Thursday.

💌 Business inquiries: teamnikkicorbett@gmail.com