The show all about family; but with gay! A hilarious and heartfelt dive into LGBTQ family life, parenting, and the challenges queer families face.
Hosted by queer mom Jaimie Kelton, The Queer Family Podcast brings you weekly interviews with LGBTQIA+ guests exploring how they made their families and how they navigate a world that wasn’t necessarily built for them.
The mission? To normalize, elevate, and celebrate queer family life—while proving we’re just like other parents... trying (and often failing) not to lose it when our kid still isn’t wearing shoes and we’re 25 minutes late.
Through laughter, honesty, and representation, this show tackles inclusive parenting, family-building journeys, and the age-old question: What’s it really like to raise a family as an LGBTQ person in a world built for the straights?
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Kirsty Loehr: From Reciprocal IVF to Blended Family and Writing Our History
Season 20 · Episode 11
Monday, November 10, 2025 • Duration 38:34
Author and educator Kirsty Loehr joins Jaimie to share her beautifully messy story of queer family building — from reciprocal IVF with her ex-wife to co-parenting their 4-year-old son and now navigating life in a blended family with her new partner and her partner’s two kids.
Kirsty talks candidly about the breakup that came just months after welcoming her son, the challenges of 50/50 custody, and learning to blend families while balancing love, chaos, and new beginnings. She also shares the inspiration behind her new book, A Short History of Queer Parenting, a funny, accessible, and essential look at how queer families have always existed — even when history tried to erase us.
It’s honest, hopeful, and very, very lesbian.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
Reciprocal IVF and Family Dynamics: Kirsty shares her experiences with reciprocal IVF, offering insights into queer parenting and the unique challenges and triumphs they bring.
Single and Blended Parenting: Insights into the evolution from single to blended parenting, discussing both the struggles and profound bonds formed.
Legal Aspects of Queer Parenting: Legal navigation within queer parenting, particularly regarding reciprocal IVF and parental rights.
The Evolution of Queer Parenting: Kirsty's new book highlights the historical journey of LGBTQ+ parenting, from legality issues to personal anecdotes, providing a comprehensive view of queer family growth.
Strength in Community: The importance of shared experiences and community support in navigating the complexities of queer family life.
🏳️🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️🌈
Kirsty Loehr(she/her) is a writer, English teacher, and examiner based in Brighton, England. She’s the author of A Short History of Queer Parenting and A Short History of Queer Women. Her work celebrates queer lineage, visibility, and the many ways LGBTQIA+ people create and nurture families.
If you’re listening to this show, there’s a good chance you’re building your family the queer way — and might need a little help in the sperm department. 🩵 Use code QUEERFAM25 at cryobank.com for a FREE Level 2 subscription to their donor catalog!
🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website
The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!
No Accidents Here: Alon Rivel on Intentional Gay Parenting
Season 20 · Episode 10
Monday, November 3, 2025 • Duration 53:02
Alon Rivel joins Jaimie for a brutally honest, funny, and heartfelt conversation about what it really takes—emotionally, financially, and spiritually—to build a queer family through surrogacy. From his surrogate’s iconic one-liners (“I’m not keeping it”) to his reflection that queer parents are architects of love, Alon reminds us what intentional parenthood looks like.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
The intentionality of queer family building—“We don’t choose to be gay, but we choose to have families.”
Growing up gay in a Jewish-Israeli household in New York, finding safety through love and community.
The surrogacy process from start to finish, including choosing an egg donor, working with Circle Surrogacy, and navigating the language (and insurance nightmares) that still exclude LGBTQ+ parents.
Building lifelong relationships with both their surrogate and egg donor—relationships that have become extended family.
Raising their son with full transparency about his origin story, teaching body honesty, and dismantling shame from day one.
The cost, the fight for recognition (“Say mom again!”), and the joy of finally holding their son.
🏳️🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️🌈
Alon Rivel (he/him) is a gay dad and husband. Alon and his husband built their family through surrogacy after a decade-long relationship, a pandemic pivot, and a $220K price tag—and they’re raising their son surrounded by love, transparency, and the chosen family who helped bring him into the world.
If you’re listening to this show, there’s a good chance you’re building your family the queer way — and might need a little help in the sperm department. 🩵 Use code QUEERFAM25 at cryobank.com for a FREE Level 2 subscription to their donor catalog!
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José Rolón (NYC Gay Dad) and Luce Remy (Family Equality): Why LGBTQ+ Family Policy Helps Everyone
Season 20 · Episode 1
Monday, September 1, 2025 • Duration 01:07:31
In this Season 20 opener, Jaimie sits down in person (for the first time in years!) with two powerhouse voices in the LGBTQIA+ family-building world: José Rolón (aka NYC Gay Dad) and Luce Remey (VP of Public Policy at Family Equality). Together, they dive deep into what it really means to build, protect, and nurture queer families in today’s political climate. From navigating wills, Social Security benefits, and second-parent adoptions, to standing firm against legislative attacks on our rights, José and Luce remind us that our intentionality as queer parents comes with both gratitude and baggage—and that community is what makes it all possible.
The conversation also gets personal: José opens up about blending his family with his partner Thomas, raising three kids as a widowed gay dad, and showing up for his daughters through life’s milestones. Luce shares her own journey toward adoption, how her work in policy is informed by personal experience, and why allies (or as she calls them, accomplices) are essential in this fight. This episode is both heartwarming and eye-opening—a powerful reminder that our families are resilient, intentional, and here to stay.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
Queer family-building comes with baggage—and gratitude. Unlike many straight families, our paths often require legal, financial, and emotional hurdles. Yet through this, we build communities of care and gratitude.
Legal protections matter. Birth certificates are not enough—second-parent adoptions, wills, and updated life insurance policies are crucial to protect queer families across state lines.
Policy impacts everyone. As Luce highlights, every advancement in LGBTQ+ family law also benefits straight families. Simplifying processes like second-parent adoption makes parenting more accessible for all.
Visibility + advocacy are survival tools. From José’s story of fighting for Social Security benefits to Luce’s vigilance against legislative rollbacks, representation and advocacy remain essential to protect our rights.
José’s journey with his partner Thomas shows the beauty and challenges of merging lives, parenting styles, and kids’ evolving needs.
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Introducing "This Is Infertilty"
Season 14 · Episode 16
Monday, January 8, 2024 • Duration 22:17
A Mic for the LGBTQIA+ Community: The Queer Family Podcast. Join Jaimie in this Bonus Episode as she guests on ‘This ‘Is Infertility” with Dan Bulger.
Almost three years ago, we published a list of our Top 17 Favorite Fertility Podcasts. Topping that list was a podcast called “If These Ovaries Could Talk,” a show centered around the lesbian experience of fertility and family building. Today’s guest, Jaimie Kelton, created this podcast after going through the journey to build her family and struggling to find relatable content and education for queer identities. As her following has grown, so has her podcast. Jaimie explains how her show has now evolved into “The Queer Family Podcast,” a podcast for diverse identities, and all LGBTQIA+ stories alike. She dives deep into her story, the evolution of the podcast, and the reality of family-building in the LGBTQIA+ community.
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🏳️🌈Key Takeaways:🏳️🌈
*Despite being a primary supporter of fertility care, the LGBTQIA+ community is often treated as an afterthought, facing challenges in accessing fair and comprehensive family-building options.
*The podcast has built a supportive and vocal community around it, showcasing the need for connection and chosen family within the queer community.
*The LGBTQIA+ community faces financial challenges in family-building, with many individuals paying out of pocket for fertility care. Progyny is mentioned as an insurance provider addressing inclusive coverage for the community.
🏳️🌈Quotes:🏳️🌈
*“For the most part, the LGBTQIA+ community is an afterthought when it comes to fertility care, which is funny, because we are the main supporter of fertility care, because most of us need help to make our families.” - Jaimie Kelton
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Queer Family Podcast: Celebrating LGBTQIA+ Families and Fertility Journeys
Season 15 · Episode 17
Monday, January 8, 2024 • Duration 11:20
l BONUS l Jaimie has some exciting news to share y’all! You can now watch video episodes on Spotify!
A brief introduction to The Queer Family Podcast and Jaimie’s personal journey of building a family as a gay mom. She talks about her experience with infertility and the lack of representation for LGBTQIA+ families in the fertility space. Jaimie also announces that the podcast is now available in video format on Spotify and encourages listeners to watch the episodes there. She concludes by promoting California Cryobank, the sponsor of the season, and invites listeners to share their own family stories.
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🏳️🌈Key Takeaways:🏳️🌈
*Jaimie started the Queer Family podcast to shine a spotlight on and normalize LGBTQIA+ families.
*The podcast features interviews with different individuals, couples, and families about their family-building journeys.
*Jaimie’s personal journey involved fertility treatments and a long struggle with unexplained infertility.
*LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples often get excluded from conversations about fertility benefits and insurance.
*Great news – the podcast is now available in video format on Spotify, so you can watch the episodes.
*Our season sponsor, California Cryobank, offers a diverse selection of sperm donors for LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples.
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Introducing "Lost Spaces"
Monday, January 1, 2024 • Duration 57:10
S14 EP15 BONUS | Join Jaimie in this Holiday Bonus Episode as she guests on 'Lost Spaces' with K Anderson! Jaimie shares her experience growing up in San Francisco surrounded by queer culture but struggling to recognize her own queerness. She discusses the male-dominated gay world she witnessed in the 80s and 90s and the lack of representation of gay women. Jaimie reflects on her journey of self-discovery, including experimenting with women and eventually embracing her identity as a lesbian. She also discusses the challenges of coming out to her parents and the stereotypes surrounding "U-Haul lesbians." Throughout her story, Jaimie emphasizes the importance of embracing one's differences and shedding the need for perfectionism. Dive into this special episode with a personal touch from Jaimie.
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🏳️🌈Key Takeaways:🏳️🌈
Growing up in a queer-friendly environment does not guarantee immediate self-recognition of one's own queerness.
Representation and exposure to diverse queer experiences are crucial in understanding and accepting one's own sexuality.
Coming out can be a complex and ongoing process, with individuals gradually embracing and fully owning their identities.
The queer community can provide support and a sense of belonging during the process of self-discovery.
Losing perfection means letting go of the need to control others' perception of you.
🏳️🌈Quotes:🏳️🌈
"I think everybody has a little bit of gay in them and they just haven't found it yet." - Jaimie Kelton
"I knew there was community. I knew I would not be alone if I decided to come out.” - Jaimie Kelton
“I feel like I touched my toe real slowly into this gay water." - Jaimie Kelton
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Introducing "Who's Your Daddy"
Monday, December 25, 2023 • Duration 01:13:53
S14 EP14 BONUS | We interrupt our regular content to bring you Holiday Bonus Episodes of podcasts that Jaimie loves and has guested on! Listen to the intro to hear an update and funny story from Jaimie before diving into an episode of “Who’s Your Daddy” with Michael and Matt. Jaimie and the fellas go deep into her personal story of struggling through unexplained infertility and over 3 years (!!) of trying to have a baby through IVF and IUI. She also shares some very exciting news that came to be a pretty big surprise!
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🏳️🌈Quotes:🏳️🌈
"We always thought I would be the one to carry, but my wife surprised me by expressing her desire to carry. We had to go back to the drawing board and adjust our plans accordingly." Jaimie
"I always felt slightly off about our fertility doctor. I never felt like he was right for me. Finally, after all of that, I said, 'You know what? Switch the formula. I'm getting a new doctor.'" Jaimie
"We took out another loan against my wife's retirement. Thank God we were privileged enough for my wife to have a retirement to even take out of. We went for the IVF, and it didn't work." Jaimie
🏳️🌈Key Takeaways:🏳️🌈
Trust your gut and find a doctor who is the right fit for your fertility journey.
Taking supplements and making lifestyle changes can improve egg health and increase the chances of pregnancy.
The financial cost of fertility treatments can be significant, and it's important to plan and budget accordingly.
Open and honest communication with children about their donor origins is crucial, but it's important to consider age-appropriate explanations and potential confusion.
🏳️🌈Resources mentioned in the episode:
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Gender, Sexuality, and God's Will
Monday, December 18, 2023 • Duration 01:04:10
S14 EP12 | Dr. Lulu, a Nigerian-born pediatrician and advocate, shares her personal journey of self-discovery and acceptance as a queer person. Growing up in a homophobic and religious society, she struggled with internalized homophobia and rejected her own child when they showed signs of being feminine. However, after her child revealed themselves as transgender, Dr. Lulu had a change of heart and became an advocate for LGBTQIA+ youth. She emphasizes the importance of unlearning societal norms and accepting and affirming our children for who they truly are. Dr. Lulu also discusses her new gender-affirming family coaching practice and the importance of supporting siblings in the transition process.
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🏳️🌈About The Guest(s)🏳️🌈 Dr. Lulu is a pediatrician, advocate, and speaker. She is Nigerian-born and has a passion for supporting LGBTQIA+ youth and their families. Dr. Lulu has recently opened a gender-affirming family coaching practice where she helps parents and families navigate the process of gender affirmation.
🏳️🌈Key Takeaways:🏳️🌈
Self-awareness is crucial in understanding our reactions and beliefs about gender.
Exploring the underlying emotions and beliefs behind our reactions can lead to personal growth and understanding.
Gender affirmation goes beyond hormones and surgery and includes respecting a person's chosen name, pronouns, and clothing.
Supporting and affirming LGBTQIA+ children requires unlearning societal norms and taking responsibility for our own biases.
🏳️🌈Quotes:🏳️🌈
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Navigating Transitions and Coming Out Together
Monday, December 11, 2023 • Duration 58:44
S14 EP11 | Moe Ari and Tiffany, hosts of the Be Your Own Love Goals podcast, share their journey as a queer couple. They met in college, became friends, and eventually fell in love. Moe Ari later came out as transgender, and they decided to start a family through reciprocal IVF. They faced challenges with their families' acceptance and had difficult conversations about their donor choice. Despite the obstacles, their families have come around and are now obsessed with their daughter, Nova. The couple emphasizes the importance of being your own “love goals” and creating your own authentic journey of partnership.
They met in college and have been together for a decade.
Moe Ari is transgender and went through a gender transition during their relationship.
They used reciprocal IVF to have their daughter, Nova.
🏳️🌈Key Takeaways:🏳️🌈
Nova's birth helped solidify Moe Ari's gender transition and their identity as a father.
The couple chose a donor based on shared values and personality traits, rather than physical appearance.
Moe Ari's family was accepting of his coming out & transition, while Tiffany faced more challenges with her family's acceptance.
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A Donor Conceived Gay Mom Finds Her "Bio Dad"
Monday, December 4, 2023 • Duration 51:58
S14 EP10 | Freya Lyon, a queer mom and donor-conceived child, shares her journey of finding her "bio dad" and connecting with her donor-conceived siblings. She discusses her experience growing up with queer moms, her own journey of becoming a parent, and the importance of open communication and honesty in donor-conceived families. Freya emphasizes the significance of answering the questions of donor-conceived children and providing them with the option to connect with their donors or half-siblings.
Freya had a positive experience growing up as a donor-conceived child and always felt comfortable discussing her origins.
She recently found her biological father and has formed a close relationship with him and her donor-conceived siblings.
Freya's children have multiple half-siblings from the same donor, and they have the option to connect with them in the future.
Open communication and honesty are crucial in donor-conceived families to ensure that children have a clear understanding of their origins and can make informed decisions about connecting with their donors or half-siblings.
🏳️🌈Quotes:🏳️🌈
"I've always wondered if I would have inherited something [from my biological father]." - Freya Lyon
"Our family is completed, we're not having anymore. I want to be able to do this for someone." - Freya Lyon
"That level of contact was really all I wanted as a kid. I just wanted the odd question answered. I didn't need that relationship growing up. It's just a bonus now." - Freya Lyon
🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website
The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!
Community is everything. Whether through chosen family, allies-turned-accomplices, or organizations like Family Equality, queer parents thrive when we lift each other up.
🏳️🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️🌈
José Rolón (aka NYC Gay Dad) is a New York City wedding planner, content creator, and outspoken advocate for the LGBTQ+ and Latinx communities. A widowed father of three, José shares openly about grief, resilience, single parenthood, and now, blending his family with his partner. His voice has become a powerful presence in both advocacy spaces and social media, where he normalizes and celebrates queer fatherhood.
Luce Remey is the Vice President of Public Policy at Family Equality, where she leads state and federal advocacy to ensure LGBTQ+ families can be created, recognized, and supported. A Washingtonian, lesbian, knitter, and soon-to-be parent, Luce combines lived experience with policy expertise to push for systemic changes that make family-building more equitable. She believes “it shouldn’t take a lawyer to create a family” and works every day to make that vision a reality.
🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website
The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!
*”This show needed to happen. It is six years old as we speak, and there is not a shortage of folks who want to come on here and tell their beautiful, beautiful stories." - Jaimie
*”I tried my best to shed a little light on [the lack of inclusion for LGBTQIA+ folks in fertility benefits], and I hope you do enjoy that episode." - Jaimie
*”Go make those babies, y'all. And then come tell me about it. Go make them. Go ahead. Love is love." - Jaimie
🏳️🌈About The Guest(s)🏳️🌈
*Hey there, I'm Jaimie, the host of The Queer Family Podcast, and I'm a proud gay mom of two awesome kids. My wife, Anne, and I went on quite a journey to build our family. That’s why The Queer Family Podcast exists. It’s a show all about sharing and celebrating LGBTQIA+ family stories.
Freya Lyon is a queer mom and donor-conceived child. She has two children with her wife using a sperm donor and has recently connected with her biological father. Freya shares her journey of finding her biological father and forming relationships with her donor-conceived siblings.
🏳️🌈If you like the episode, make sure to leave us a review and support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for as low as $2/month!
🏳️🌈We want to hear from you! Call us: 646-470-1840
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