Explore every episode of the podcast THE QUACK
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| THE WEEK MY BOOK CAME OUT IN GERMANY | 17 dƩc. 2025 | 00:09:37 | |
ā'This isnāt happiness' is about a womanās inner turmoil when the intimacy vanishes from a relationshipā¦ā *Puffs cigarette* Ā On this week's episode, I try my best to be cool as I launch my book, 'This isn't happiness', in Germany. Ā Visit: TheQuack.Blog Buy: This isn't happiness (German translation) Preorder: Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy (UK version) Follow: @MaryNewnhamWrites | |||
| HOW TO AUTHOR: JANUARY 2026 | 15 dƩc. 2025 | 00:00:55 | |
In the lead-up to the launch of my debut novel, Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy, I am asking three established authors for advice about the author life. Join me here on The Quack for the first episode of HOW TO AUTHORācoming Monday, January 5th.Ā Follow: @marynewnhamwrites Visit: TheQuack.Blog Ā | |||
| THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 4: THE BOOK THAT CAME TO LIFE. | 26 nov. 2025 | 00:11:38 | |
"I, an adult, had made some characters in my head, and now Iām in a boardroom, having a professional discussion with another adult about them..." Ā It's Part 4 of the Story of Writing a Novel, and some remarkable things are starting to happen. Includes a failed therapy session and the creation of a Liverpudlian stripper.Ā Ā (Note: there is some swearing in this episode. Also note, some dialogue has been exaggerated for creative purposes.)Ā Ā Visit | TheQuack.blog Follow| @marynewnhamwrites Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy Sound| Soundstripe.com Ā Ā | |||
| CAN YOU SURVIVE THE ROMANTIC GETAWAY? | 12 nov. 2025 | 00:13:51 | |
"We paused in front of the bed, where there was a display of red and white balloons." š«š·š I had my first romantic getaway in Paris. I was so concerned about discovering unflattering details about my new boyfriend that I had completely forgotten just how tricky I could be to travel with. Ā Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy | |||
| THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 3: THE CRINGE ERA. | 29 oct. 2025 | 00:12:53 | |
I couldn't risk wasting time on real men when I had fictional men to worry about. Ā This week, we continue the story writing the book. This is the part where I try to get an agent and fail at dating ā also known as 'The Cringe Era'. Ā Listen to Parts 1 and 2 before this episode. Ā Visit | TheQuack.BlogĀ Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Skip Introduction | 3:15 Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| MIND THE GAP: MOVING BACK TO LONDON. | 15 oct. 2025 | 00:09:19 | |
"I should have kids with names and a strong opinion on Peppa Pig, but somehow, at 34, I have found myself back in London..." Ā This week is about my move back to London as a 34-year-old. After leaving with a bad taste in my mouth at 26 (which inspired me to write a terrible poetry book), I never thought I'd come back to live in The Big Smoke, but here I am... maybe it's where I was supposed to be all along.Ā Ā Ā Visit | TheQuack.Blog Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy Follow | MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 2: LEARNING TO WRITE. | 01 oct. 2025 | 00:09:19 | |
"Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary, how do you expect to be a published author if you can't even score a high grade on a short story?" Ā This week on The Quack, we continue the series 'The Story of Writing a Novel.' I head back to university to do a Master's in creative writing. There is a drama involving my Metamorphosis book and a sharp learning curve about verbs.Ā Ā Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy. Visit | TheQuack.blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO DO NOW WE'RE NOT SINGLE. | 17 sept. 2025 | 00:11:17 | |
Ā 'Thatās right, I thought in my haze, I have a boyfriend now.' On this week's Quack, I celebrated my 34th birthday by taking my new boyfriend to his very first spa. Unfortunately, it was not the relaxing experience I had promised... Ā Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Music | Soundstripe.com | |||
| THE QUACK WILL BE BACK 17th SEPTEMBER | 27 aoƻt 2025 | 00:00:26 | |
This month has been a bit chaotic, so I will be returning on September 17th with more facepalm stories. Thank you guys! x | |||
| SPERM-EXTERMINATORS & OTHER CONTRACEPTIVES | 13 aoƻt 2025 | 00:09:23 | |
It seemed barbaric, and yet, she was so casual about it, as if she were demonstrating how to season a chicken. Ā With the help of Reddit reviews, I'm choosing my next birth control method. This episode also includes some seriously great ideas for male contraceptives.Ā Ā If you want to know more about birth control, click here. Ā Skip Introduction| 2:04 Sound | soundstripe.com Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Ā Pre-order my debut fiction book, AMY ELMAN DOESN'T FEEL SEXY,Ā on Amazon.Ā Ā | |||
| THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 1: THE BOOK THAT DIED. | 30 juil. 2025 | 00:10:38 | |
"It would be called Can of Worms. Sunday Times Bestseller list, here I come." Ā In this first episode of the series, I am going back to the very beginning when I attempted my first novel.Ā Ā Skip Introduction | 2:21 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy on Amazon and other popular book stores.Ā | |||
| BILLBOARD DAD | 16 juil. 2025 | 00:08:52 | |
I made the mistake of asking Dad, āBut do billboards actually work?ā I may as well have asked if Tottenham Hotspur was a synchronised swimming team. Ā This week is about growing up in an 80s advertising family and working out what my dad did for work.Ā Ā Skip Intro | 2:11 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound| Soundstripe.com | |||
| THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL PROM | 02 juil. 2025 | 00:09:17 | |
"The turnout was 50 girls and 10 terrified boys..." Ā This week is a flashback to my 2010 school prom...which wasn't anything like the ones in the movies.Ā Ā Skip Introduction | 2:27 Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā Ā | |||
| FINDING MY TRUE COLOURS AT THE RUGBY. | 18 juin 2025 | 00:09:46 | |
"I then remembered it wasn't football, so these grown-ups could be trusted not to punch each other in the face..."Ā Ā I went to the rugby final on Saturday, which made me reflect on my football upbringing. Ā Skip Introduction | 2:05 Sound | Soundstripe.com Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Ā | |||
| THE GREAT BRITISH BIRTHDAY | 04 juin 2025 | 00:09:00 | |
āSTOP! I LEFT THE CHEESE!ā We twisted around and punted back to the boathouse to collect the cheese. š§ Ā It's Hermione's birthday, and this year we all went punting in Oxford. I made the mistake of getting in the wrong boat.... Ā Skip Introduction | 1:38 Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrite Read | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| MY RETURN TO HINGE | 21 mai 2025 | 00:10:11 | |
"I was biting into my vegetable kebab when I received a message from the Hinge bloke. I read the top line and rolled my eyes..." Ā It's been over a year since I've been on Hinge, but I'm now back on the dating horse. This is the story of my first online dating experience of 2025.Ā Ā Skip Introduction | 1:50 Read | TheQuack.blog Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| WHEN THE GIRLS WENT TO FRANCE... | 07 mai 2025 | 00:13:04 | |
"I did wonder, as I was walking around the Eiffel Tower in a red dress, whether, perhaps, I had watched too many movies..." Ā This week on The Quack, I reflect on the face-palm moments from my recent girls' trip to France. Includes a desperate scene of me trying to create a romantic moment by the Eiffel Tower, a game of charades with the Airbnb host, and an AI song about tariffs. Ā Skip Introduction| 2:09 Follow me| Ā @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com | |||
| HOW TO COMPLIMENT A STRANGER: THE RESULT. | 23 avr. 2025 | 00:09:46 | |
"3 days into the challenge, I realised I wasn't the dazzling compliment giver I originally thought I was." Ā For Lent, instead of giving up cherry cola Tic-Tacs, I challenged myself to compliment 40 strangers in 40 days. Today, I have the results of how it went. (Not well). Ā Thank you for continuing to support. I have a few deadlines coming up, and so for now, The Quack will be coming out once a fortnight until life gets a little less crazy. On the plus side, I have some exciting novel news, which I will announce very soon. MN x Ā Visit | THEQUACK.BLOG Follow| @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com | |||
| HOW TO STAY SINGLE THIS SUMMER | 16 avr. 2025 | 00:12:13 | |
"Have sex with them. I find they stop laughing at your jokes once they've seen your nipples." Ā The sun is out, and couples are uncuffing, ready for their hot single summer. As an expert singleton, I have a few tips to share... Ā Skip Introduction | 2:22 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| A THURSDAY NIGHT WiTH THE BIG BANG CROWD. | 09 avr. 2025 | 00:09:50 | |
"Are you literally carrying around a focaccia?ā Last Thursday night, I went out with my science friends. It was a typical night for any friendship group in their 30s, except (as this is The Quack) there were some face-palm moments.Ā Ā Skip Introduction | 1:28 Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com If you're in London, you must watch News Revue | Link here Ā | |||
| IT'S ONLY BANTER... | 02 avr. 2025 | 00:09:53 | |
"I watched with astonishment as boys clumsily worked out that the humour which impressed their mates wasn't necessarily the humour that impressed us girls..." Ā As it was April Fool's this week, I thought I would explore the differences in humour between men and women, particularly when pranking. Ā Skip Introduction | 2:01 Follow me on the Gram | @marynewnhamwrites Visit | The Quack Sound | Soundstripe.com | |||
| ARE YOU MOTIVATED YET? | 26 mars 2025 | 00:11:27 | |
"Like reaching for a diet book when youāre unsatisfied with your body, I leaned into self-help because I was frustrated with my personality." Ā This week's muddled observation is about the self-improvement industry and how I used it during my quatre-life crisis.Ā Ā Skip Introduction | 3:13 Follow Me on Instagram | @marynewnhamwrites Visit Me | THEQUACK.BLOG Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā Ā Sources https://www.zionmarketresearch.com/report/self-improvement-market | |||
| DONāT YOU WANT A BABY? | 19 mars 2025 | 00:08:58 | |
āLet me show you something that will make your ovaries twerk.ā Ā This week on The Quack, I contemplate motherhood and whether it is right for me after being traumatised by my 90's singing doll. Also, I take the time to admire the hot dads of the world.Ā Ā š HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO AUDIO QUACK š Ā Skip Intro | 2:21 Follow me on IG @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit and subscribe to The Quack Blog Sound credits | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| HOBBY HORSE | 12 mars 2025 | 00:08:35 | |
"I bought a horse in a car park!" Dad texted. Ā It's Cheltenham Festival! I will not be going, but my Dad certainly is. This week is about being an outsider of a horse racing family, and witnessing a hobby that gets out of hand....š Ā The Guardian article |Ā https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2011/dec/30/tony-mccoy-fractured-ribs-taunton Visit The Quack | www.TheQuack.blog Follow me on IG | www.Instagram.com/MaryNewnhamWrites Sound Credit | Ā www.Soundstripe.com Ā Ā | |||
| HOW TO COMPLIMENT A STRANGER. | 05 mars 2025 | 00:08:26 | |
Nobody wants to be the heavy-breathing stalker who whispers to someone, "You have nice long spine."Ā Ā Today's Quack is a muddled observation about complimenting strangers...and why we avoid it.Ā Ā Vist | TheQuack.blog Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā Ā | |||
| BRACE FACE | 26 fƩvr. 2025 | 00:07:48 | |
If it wasnāt tricky enough to try and lure a man away from his life of freedom, football, mates and Camden Hells, try adding a brace. Ā This week on The Quack is about the trauma of wearing braces as a teenager, and again as a single woman in her thirties. Ā Follow IG | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā Ā | |||
| JUST A DUMB CRYING WOMAN. | 19 fƩvr. 2025 | 00:11:22 | |
āDON'T YOU DARE SAY JUST. THATāS THE WOMANāS CURSE WORD. ITāS JUSTā¦. ITāS JUST...ā Ā This week in the Quack, I tell the story of doing a home makeover and all the characters I met, from the Hang Man to the angry sofa man.Ā Ā Skip Intro | 1:38 Sound | Soundstripe.com Follow me | @MaryNenwhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blogĀ | |||
| THE AUDIENCE THAT WENT WRONG. | 12 fƩvr. 2025 | 00:11:33 | |
āI canāt stay any longer. Iām sorry, itās just not my cup of tea!āĀ Ā This week on The Quack, I reflect on all the times audience members (including myself) have not behaved in the theatre. Ā Skip Introduction | 1:30 Read Here | TheQuack.Blog Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| HAVE YOU GOT ANY WORK EXPERIENCE? | 05 fƩvr. 2025 | 00:10:55 | |
"I had a striped shirt on because I thought that's what people wore to offices..." Ā In today's Quack, I reflect on the years when I was building up my CV with work experiences...Some experiences were better than others.Ā Ā Read and see photos Ā | TheQuack.blog Skip Introduction | 1:55 Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com Follow me on The Gram | @MARYNEWNHAMWRITES Ā | |||
| THE LAYOVER | 29 janv. 2025 | 00:07:25 | |
āYou want him to have the pick of the bunch, but he picks you,ā Sausage said, waving her fork in the air.Ā Four school friends have brunch and discuss being single in their thirties.Ā Skip Introduction | 1:35 Visit| TheQuack.blog Music | Soundstripe.com | |||
| THE MUSICAL THEATRE FAILURE. | 22 janv. 2025 | 00:08:03 | |
š¶Oh, look what I haveā¦. another emotionally unavailable man. š¶ Ā A passion for musical theatre but without the talent. This week on The Quack, Sex-Ed Tom and I go to see the musical Titanique. And it brings back memories of when I dropped out of theatre school... | |||
| SEEKING APPROVAL FROM MY FARROW & BALL MOTHER. | 15 janv. 2025 | 00:08:51 | |
She can list the names of Farrow & Ball paints as if they were her nephews and nieces... This week on The Quack, I'm decorating my bathroom with Hermione. šÆāāļøBut will my interior designer mum approve of the colour? šØš© Find me on TikTok @MaryNewnham for an attempted ābefore and afterā time-lapse video Skip Introduction | 1:35 Blog | www.TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| #BODYGOALS | 08 janv. 2025 | 00:09:31 | |
"By 5 pm, I was such a hangry goblin that I could have jumped on someoneās shoulders and ripped their head off like the vampire in Twilight." Gym-uary is here, and everyone is pumped! I may groan, but it's far better than the Size 0 trend that was around when I was a teen.Ā Skip Introduction | 1: 54 Visit | www.TheQuack.Blog Sounds & music Ā | Soundstripe.com | |||
| HOW TO GET GUTS WITHOUT ALCOHOL | 01 janv. 2025 | 00:08:24 | |
"I realised that if I was ever going to achieve my goal, I either needed singing lessons.... or alcohol."Ā Ā Happy New Year! Today, I am reflecting on my New Year's resolution to try to gain enough courage to perform karaoke while sober. Ā Ā Skip Introduction | 1:30 Read The Quack | Www.TheQuack.blog Music & Sound | Soundstripe.com Book recommendation | This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol by Annie Grace.Ā Ā Ā | |||
| A CHRISTMAS TREE FOR ONE. | 18 dƩc. 2024 | 00:08:45 | |
"If you want to attract attention to yourself, I highly recommend walking around with a tree." Ā This week's episode features a history-ish lesson about the Christmas tree and a very dramatic journey carrying a tree. Check out The Quack for photos of the journey.Ā Ā Skip Introduction | 1:38 Visit | www.TheQuack.Blog Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Contact | Mary@thequack.blog | |||
| 'TIS THE SEASON TO FACE THE MUSIC. | 11 dƩc. 2024 | 00:10:36 | |
"Iām relieved Spotify Wrapped was not around in my school days because my delicate ego would have been smashed to pieces." Ā This week on the Quack is about Spotify Wrapped and how it exposes your true cringe-worthy self. Ā Skip Introduction | 3:05 Visit | www.thequack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com Ā | |||
| THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY š | 04 dĆ©c. 2024 | 00:10:05 | |
Ā If David Cameron were to peep out of his curtain, he would have seen a blob of tangled fairy lights running down the street. Ā The Christmas season is here! š Today's muddled observation is about how the office Christmas party has changed over the last decade. Featuring a facepalm moment about my first office Christmas party. Ā Skip Introduction | 1:45 Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Visit The Quack | www.TheQuack.Blog | |||
| A DOG NAMED CLEMENTINE | 27 nov. 2024 | 00:09:43 | |
Clementine glared at me as if to say, āPlease give her a grandchild.ā Ā Today I tell a story about the time Mum adopted an old Cornish Retriever named Clementine. šš¦“šāļø Ā Skip Into | 1:50 Sound | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.blog | |||
| HOW TO FIND LOVE WITHOUT DATING APPS. | 20 nov. 2024 | 00:11:29 | |
"DO NOT join a running club!" šāāļø Ā Redownloading Hinge. Deleting Hinge. A rejection from RAYA. How to attract someone without the apps?Ā Ā Skip Introuduction | 2:10 Soundtrack and SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog | |||
| HOW DID THEY SURVIVE WITHOUT PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES? | 13 nov. 2024 | 00:08:23 | |
He took great joy in telling me that the word āavocadoā translates into ātesticleā. A muddled observation about the differences between millennials and boomers. Ā Skip Introduction 2:00. Ā Sound | Soundstripe.come Visit the blog | www.thequack.blog Ā | |||
| ARE YOU STILL IN ā¤ļø WITH NEW YORK? | 06 nov. 2024 | 00:09:01 | |
āThere are some smells, but surely you canāt hate the city for that?ā said the Man in Finance. Ā This week Sausage and I are in a West Village bar, having a debate with a 'man in finance' about New York.Ā Ā SKIP INTRO | 1:30 SOUNDTRACK & SFX | Soundstripe.com READ THE BLOG | www.TheQuack.Blog QUACK MAP | https://thequack.blog/make-the-quack-map-pink/ Ā | |||
| WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING? | 30 oct. 2024 | 00:09:58 | |
āMove ooon!ā The woman next to me heckled.Ā Ā An awkward night in a comedy club; Unanswered questions, a heckler, and an audience who didn't want to laugh. Ā Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | Ā www.TheQuack.Blog Quack Map | http://thequack.blog/make-the-quack-map-pink/ Ā | |||
| BEEN THERE. DONE THAT. GOT THE PHOTO. | 23 oct. 2024 | 00:10:15 | |
Meanwhile, Sausage and I attempted to be pinpricked by the Empire State Buildingās ariel.Ā Ā This week is about photos and holidays š·. Hear how my face got turned into a cloud at a New York tourist hot spot āļø, to queuing for a photo booth in East Village. See photos and videos of the trip on Www.TheQuack.Blog Ā SKIP INTO: 2:50 Ā Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.blog | |||
| GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE CLUBS. | 16 oct. 2024 | 00:09:11 | |
We tried to dance, but after two songs we felt like school teachers at an out-of-hand raunchy school disco. A hunt for the perfect club in Soho. Skip Into - 3:00 Ā SFX & Music |Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog | |||
| WHAT'S A SACK? AND OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT THE NFL. | 09 oct. 2024 | 00:10:06 | |
"And WHO is that beautiful bald man with the gigantic headset?" Ā This week, my friend, Sian and I went to watch Ā Minnesota Vikings vs. New York Jets. We were left with a lot of questions, and a small crush. š Skip Intro 2:31 Ā Music and SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog | |||
| MY DREAM PUB - THE KING'S KNEES. | 02 oct. 2024 | 00:08:59 | |
The snacks are NOT deep-fried pig skin with the hair still on. Ā A quick look into what I would change about the Great British pub. Ā Skip Intro | 2:12 Ā Music and SFX | Soundstripe.com Visit The Quack | TheQuack.blog. Ā | |||
| SURVIVING FILM SCHOOL | 25 sept. 2024 | 00:08:36 | |
"In hindsight, it would have been easier if I had just smoked pot." Ā In 2010, I went from catholic school to film school. These are the six survival tips I learnt whilst I was there.Ā Ā Skip Intro: 2:14 Ā Soundtrack and Sound Effects | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog | |||
| THE AWKWARD LIFE OF A PEOPLE- PLEASING-PLANT-BASED-PERSON. | 18 sept. 2024 | 00:09:14 | |
"No meat, no fish, no eggs, no dairyā¦. and no friends..." The awkward date chats and funny restaurant scenarios, when you're a people-pleasing-plant-based-person.Ā Ā Skip into (2:12) Ā Read | TheQuack.Blog Music and soundtrack credit | Soundstripe.com | |||
| THIRTY-THREE | 11 sept. 2024 | 00:08:21 | |
"What is that strange ticking noise?" Ā The week I turned thirty-threeāA Barbie nightmare, a hot tub chat. beans, and forcing my friends to wear crowns.Ā Ā Skip Introduction (2:00) Soundtrack and sound effects - Soundstripe.com | |||
| WHEN YOUR GIRL LEAVES YOU ON THE SHELF. | 04 sept. 2024 | 00:10:40 | |
You sit on the edge of the shelf waiting for Helen to returnā¦. Ā A muddled observation about when your friend falls in love and leaves you on the shelf. Ā (Skip me babbling on. 3:28) Ā Soundtrack and sound effects: Soundstripe.com Visit www.TheQuack.blog | |||