The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

Here's the shocking thing about herpes- it's not a big deal. No really, it's not a big deal. It can seem that if you have herpes, that is just the story you need to tell yourself to make the sting of having an STI feel better. But here's the thing about having herpes, or any STI; suddenly you are forced into a world that is unfamiliar, and so you LEARN. You read. Research. Educate yourself. And suddenly you are shocked to learn that truly, this is not a big deal. 

After my diagnosis I thought my dating life was over. I knew nothing about herpes other than what I learned in a severely lacking education system that consistently fails us with sexual health information, and of course media. And so my scared little mind was flooded with the horrible images from google, the mean jokes I heard from movies and television, the jokes I heard from social settings. But then I educated myself, because suddenly this was MINE. I dove into the world of herpes information- everything from the CDC, WHO, social media accounts, magazine articles. If I am being honest, I thought I was going to be doom scrolling, reading horrible information that was going to validate my feelings of fear. Instead, I was faced with so many facts that blew my mind. I had NO clue what a large portion of the world's population has herpes. I had no clue that having herpes did not, in fact, mean the you were suddenly walking around with a constant herpes outbreak. I was shocked to discover how little of an impact it truly has on a person's everyday life, and especially their dating life.

There is a sense of empowerment when you realize those scary feelings were silly. That you are going to be ok. It is not that hard to turn it all around and feel quite confident with your diagnosis. And you will see that confidence, and positivity, everywhere throughout the sexual health social media accounts and media articles. And that is truly fucking FABULOUS. But this is where I casually stand up to insert a little HOWEVER in all this fabulousness....

While it is SO important to know that you are going to be ok with your diagnosis. That you are going to have a great and active dating life if you choose to. That your life is going to be barely affected by your herpes. It is also SO important to know that sometimes, it just fucking sucks. AND THAT IS OK. Seriously friend, it is ok if you feel like a badass with your herpes diagnosis, and also cry about your herpes diagnosis. 

I have had a very active and successful dating life since my diagnosis almost 6 years ago. I barely think about. I can easily and comfortably admit that I still get incredibly nervous when I have to have the disclosure discussion with a new partner, but I also get incredibly nervous when I have to talk to the lady at the cash register in the grocery store, so there's that. But I still can stand on pretty firm footing with my positivity and confidence while living with a positive status. But sometimes that confidence gets rocked. And it feels uncomfortable. And I think of some of the sexual health accounts I follow online, and all of their positivity surrounding herpes, and I feel almost ashamed that I am feeling bad about myself because of my diagnosis. It makes me feel alone. 

My goal is to make sure you truly know that having an STI is NOT a big deal, but that also, sometimes it DOES hurt. And that is so damn ok. And you are not alone if you are feeling this. And there is nothing wrong with feeling this. You are not alone- the thing is, most people just don't talk about the other side of things. Those damn uncomfortable things. So dammit, let's just get snuggled into the discomfort for a minute! Let's have a cuddle puddle with the uncomfy so that you can see that we have all felt this and you are not alone.

In this episode I discuss a herpes disclosure that was disappointing, and really rocked my confidence. It brought up so many feelings that really bothered me. It made me question how I could stand online and spew so much positivity surrounding the subject, while then crying on my couch in disappointment. I felt ashamed of myself, because the people I looked up to in the sexual health world never shared this side of things. Maybe I'm not good enough if I am letting this rock me like this. Maybe I should not have a platform where I share my stories if I can't keep my positivity about this. But then I thought, FUCK THAT. I just feel alone because they aren't talking about it. It doesn't mean they don't FEEL it. They are simply not sharing it. 

Join me in a conversation where I share how I disclose, why I disclose the way I do, how I handle a "rejection", and why we need to reframe the idea of it being a rejection at all; it is someone simply making a decision. I will share my personal story of a disclosure that left me in tears of disappointment, and why it is not productive to be upset with the person telling you no. I'll share my view on why I disagree with my friends that say "you are better off without them" simply because they were not comfortable sleeping with me. And we will explore the difference between someone making an informed decision to not sleep with you, versus someone making a decision based on misinformation. 

Be sure to explore my library of episodes for numerous discussions about the journey of having herpes, as well as the links below to some of my favorite social media accounts that educate on herpes and sexual health in general. And never, ever, be afraid to slide in my DMs if you have any questions about the topic. Don't forget...I'm your safe word! And if you are shy, you can also find a link below to ask questions anonymously.

Now let's go get weird!

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Social Media Accounts about Herpes & Sexual Health

Courtney Brame https://www.instagram.com/courtneybrame_/

Positive Results (this account is inactive, but has been one of my go-to’s for years) https://www.instagram.com/positive_results_us/

Safe Slut https://www.instagram.com/safe.slut/

Sexelducation https://www.instagram.com/sexelducation/

Herpes- Related Articles

Hello Wisp: Having Sex With Someone Who Has Herpes

https://hellowisp.com/blog/having-sex-with-someone-who-has-herpes?

World Health Organization: Herpes Fact Sheet 

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-viru

Hello Wisp: Which Major STD Isn’t Part of Normal Screening

https://hellowisp.com/blog/which-major-std-isnt-part-of-normal-screening

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PRETTY UNCOMFORTABLE PODCAST HERPES EPISODES:

Dating with Herpes: You are still f*cking fabulous…and absolutely f*ckable

https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-cpg8q-13818b1

Herpes Disclosures: Don’t Leave Your Partners Out in The Cold...You Need To Disclose If You Get Coldsores

https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-qajgc-13beab8

Herpes & OnlyFans: How An STI & An Adult Content Site Share The Same Stigmas & Why We Should Rethink Our Judgements

https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-bppsv-142fb5c

The B-Sides: A Partner’s Reaction to a Herpes Outbreak- Both Mine AND His

https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-69hxw-13beff8

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

Pretty Uncomfortable | Website 

https://prettyuncomfortable.com

Tera Vee | Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

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ASK ANONYMOUSLY

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word.

https://ngl.link/tera_vee 

Consider this your formal invitation to my pity party. In this episode I sit down to discuss why I have had such a hard time producing more podcast episodes, how I like to indulge at my pity parties, and how I am learning to show up- even when I absolutely don't want to.

We all have moments, some longer than others, where we just can't. We just can't cope. We just can't put on a happy face. We just can't see the bright side of things. I am here to tell you that that is absolutely ok. But, does that mean that we should just not show up at all? No. Join me in exploring what a pity party looks like, and when is the time to end the party.

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

Pretty Uncomfortable | Website  https://prettyuncomfortable.com

Tera Vee | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

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https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

In part 2 of "My Journey To Madness" we pick up where we left off from part 1. After a long and violent day, I find myself on the way to the emergency room, where I know I will inevitably then be sent to be admitted into a mental health facility. I bring you through the degrading process of being admitted into the facility, the dramatic decisions I made for myself once I got home, and how I chose to find the good within all of the wreckage.

In this episode I explore the ways that we ignore ourselves, and others, when we choose to stay in a relationship that we know we should end, how a poem that once brought me incredible sadness transformed into a permanent reminder of my beauty, and my belief that sometimes we need to break to an unrecognizable degree in order to become who we really are. 

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***SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES***

Never be afraid to reach out for help- it’s the bravest thing you will ever do…

Suicide Hotline- CLICK HERE https://988lifeline.org

Suicide Prevention Resources- CLICK HERE 

https://sprc.org

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast and Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | INSTAGRAM

Pretty Uncomfortable | FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

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https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

In honor of premiering the first episode under the new name, The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast, I chose to get, well.....uncomfortable. 

In this raw and vulnerable episode I share a story that I have never publicly shared before. One that is, quite honestly, filled with a lot of shame and embarrassment, but also a story that is important to tell. 

In this episode I share my journey through my darkest days. It is a difficult story to tell, but it carries so many themes that we can all relate to- toxic relationships, carrying burdens alone, difficult decisions, loss and death, and  finding ourselves lost.

I share with you a story that begins when the covid shutdowns began, where in the midst of a quickly deteriorating relationship I am faced with the unexpected death of my mother, my biggest support system. Under the weight of numerous traumas, combined with a sleep-deprived mind and a malnourished body, my mind hit a breaking point. 

As things began to pile up and I could no longer bear the weight, things came to an explosive head on one fateful day that would change my life, and who I was, forever. 

***SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES***

Never be afraid to reach out for help- it’s the bravest thing you will ever do…

Suicide Hotline- CLICK HERE https://988lifeline.org

Suicide Prevention Resources- CLICK HERE 

https://sprc.org

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Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast and Tera Vee:

Pretty Uncomfortable | INSTAGRAM

Pretty Uncomfortable | FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

…….

https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

"What?! YOU'RE single? I don't believe it!"

"You're too good looking to be single!"

"What is someone like you doing single? That seems impossible!" 

When did being single become such a terrible, shocking thing? And WHY? For many, being single shows strength. Strength that they are making their way through this crazy world, solo. For staying true to themselves and not settling for anything less than what they deserve. And YET. Many people will have a tone that quietly whispers with pity as they question why you are still single.

Referencing back to Episode 7 "Being Single On Valentine's Day" I discuss the difference with wanting a relationship, and needing a relationship, and why it is absolutely ok to be picky. Inspired by someone making one of the above comments to me after I talked about spending my weekends alone, I hopped onto the dating apps, camera recording, to bring you on my journey of swiping, so you could bear witness to my choice to be single. 

Sometimes, the dating world is just....rough. Sometimes our options are....limited. And sometimes, we just do not feel like dating. And again, THAT IS OK! Come join the conversation in this fun and lighthearted look at being the single friend, the joys of dating apps, choosing not to settle, and the friendly reminder to recognize your single friends for all that they are!

5 listener questions randomly selected, each answered in 5 minutes. 

In this episode I randomly select five questions that were sent from YOU! This was a fun episode that discussed everything from depression after a major surgery to how to get more confident with re-entering the dating world, and if I would sell pictures of my feet. Enjoy this mix of personal stories and advice. I enjoyed making this episode for you. I love the variety of serious and silly...I would expect nothing less from my little weirdos! 

3:37  #1. How Is Life After Surgery?

I discuss how life after a major back surgery took me by surprise with unexpected depression and self image issues.

8:30  #2. How Do You Force Yourself Back Into The Dating Scene When You're Nervous About Jumping Back In?

I share ways to beat the nerves when you are getting back into the dating world, why I get diarrhea before dates, and things that I do that have helped me in my dating journey.

13:34  #3. Do I Ever Consider Talking With Someone On Here (social media)?

This is a question that I get a LOT. I share my feelings on this topic, if I have ever met anyone that slid into my DMs, and why it makes me uncomfortable. 

18:51  #4. Do I Like Younger Guys?

Am I cougar? Absolutely. Let me tell you why I have a preference for men younger than me, what the largest age gap was of someone I dated, and what my favorite age is.

23:53  #5. Do I Sell Feet Pics?

Learn why you very rarely see the feet of adult content creators when they post on social media, my thoughts on selling pictures of my own feet, and what shoe size is. 

This was a fun episode to record! I loved the unpredictability of not knowing where the discussion would go, and I love all the questions you are submitting! Be sure to send me a DM on Instagram @tera_vee with any questions you would like me to discuss, or click the link below and you can send them anonymously. 

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyinkinkpodcast/

Pretty in Kink | Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

Tera Vee | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

Tera Vee | Website http://www.missteravee.com

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https://ngl.link/tera_vee

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

Welcome to another B-Side episode! 

In this B-Side I revisit episode 29, where I discussed how difficult it can be for me to be complimentary to a partner. How I struggle with the feelings that come up when I show kindness to a partner. And how I was proud of myself for working to change that. 

Episode 29 aired on a Monday morning and then, that evening, I got a call that immediately pushed me right back into the headspace of saying fuck vulnerability. Fuck showing affection. This is why I stay guarded.

In this B-Side I share that though we can try so hard, and make so much progress, we can just as quickly fall back into old patterns...and that is OK! I share that I sometimes struggle with practicing what I preach, and how being not dumped but definitely dumped made me want to run back to my old thought processes.

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Pretty in Kink | Facebook FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

Imagine this: you start a podcast. You brainstorm with a friend and end up with the most amazing name for your podcast. You love it. You want to roll around in it, fold it up and put it in your pocket to take it with you everywhere, you want to live inside the name. Ok ok, maybe I got a little excitable there, but you get the point. I love my podcast name. 

Pretty In Kink debuted in January 2023. I sit here today, a mere six months later, and I am planning a re-brand. WHAT the hell am I thinking??? Welcome to this B-Side episode, otherwise known as my informal staff meeting with all my Pretty In Kink weirdos, where I discuss what in the world is going on in my head to bring me to this decision.

Have I boxed myself in with the name Kink? Am I excluding listeners? Will I be limited to who will sponsor me, have me as a guest, or be a guest here? Am I going against absolutely everything I have been talking about by running from a controversial name?

Get your butt in this meeting so you can share your input (spoiler alert...I may not take your advice, but I still want to hear it!) and tell me if I am being crazy. Also, there are donuts and coffee in the break room and I will pay you overtime for attending the meeting. 

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All bloopers and caffeine zoomies are proudly sponsored by Brewed Monday Coffee. Go get some of this amazing coffee now so that you can join me in the zoomies!

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Pretty in Kink | Facebook FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

Hey you! Yes, you. Look at you looking all gooood over there. You are looking GOOD today, has anyone told you that yet today? Hopefully they have...but I probably haven't. Over the years I have struggled with the simple act of complimenting my partners. It has created problems that should have been easy to fix...just give a damn compliment. Yet I couldn't.

I would be overwhelmed with the feeling of embarrassment if I tried to give a compliment. It left me with a feeling that I didn't like and so I started sitting with that, trying to figure out where that feeling was coming from, and WHY.

In this episode while discussing the importance of complimenting our partners, I take you on my journey as I start to realize where my reluctance to give a compliment comes from, how difficult past relationships shaped this habit, and how I have been working to tell you more often just how damn sexy I really think you are. Because dammmmn you're sexy!

Join the conversation as I discuss how a narcissist's behavior helped to shape this poor habit, how a history of being cheated on stopped me from giving affection, and why complimenting partners left me feeling so vulnerable.

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Drink Brewed Monday Coffee while you listen to my episodes, and let’s get the caffeine zoomies together! Shop Brewed Monday Coffee HERE

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Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Pretty in Kink | Facebook FACEBOOK

Tera Vee | Instagram INSTAGRAM

Tera Vee | Website WEBSITE

…….

Ask anonymous questions! 

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be too shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!

The classic friends with benefits scenario: have a friend, add some fun, and throw in a few orgasms with zero commitment. What could possibly go wrong?

A broken heart is sitting on the sidelines, just waiting to be called into the game. But I'm here to say that there is also the argument that a FWB arrangement can be exactly what someone needs to GROW their heart. To learn how to practice connection without that scary thing called commitment.

In this episode I discuss why someone may benefit from this type of sexual relationship, what the pros and cons are, and how to enter into a FWB relationship while ensuring that that sweet little heart of yours stays protected. I share my personal stories with how I have handled FWB relationships- why I chose this structure as an intentional way to date, when it went great for me, and when it left me crying into a bowl of ice cream. 

Psssst...you may also want to stick around for the bloopers. I seem to have been in rare form during this recording, so if you need a little smile, bloop bloop!

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Drink Brewed Monday Coffee while you listen to my next episode, and let's get the caffeine zoomies together! Shop HERE

…….

Stay connected with Pretty In Kink and Tera Vee:

Pretty in Kink | Instagram

Pretty in Kink | Facebook

Tera Vee | Instagram

Tera Vee | Website

…….

Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!