Clip discussing the greatest gift of family toxic change -- making a brighter future for the next generation!

This is a clip from the panel discussion about family relationships with Emily and Carol.

Listen to the entire episode.

Listen to the entire episode.

Introspection — what better way to start a week.

Don’t doubt yourself! Even God remembers the crime committed against you. In the last book of the bible, John tells us “and God has remembered her crimes.” Did you know that God remembers?

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2023/04/03/mirror-mirror-what-crime-would-you-like-god-to-remember/

We discuss:

1) The intricately woven places childhood sexual crimes hide in our lives, in our thoughts and in our beliefs.

o I’m not safe – no one is safe

o  Everyone lies

o  God is guilty of bad things

o  I need to turn to an addiction to stop the confusion and pain

2) When is it okay to take breaks from counseling, EMDR, and other such healing methods

o whenever you need to

o  you are in control of your healing

o  don’t camp there – move thru

o  stopping and incorporating is important

3) How do you pray? Do you cry out to God? Hate him for what happened? Or you just don’t know how to pray

Yesterday I mailed out 12 packets of information to the President of the United States, the Governor of Washington, the Mayor of Vancouver, the Chief of Police, and two Washington Senators. I sent a courtesy copy to many local investigative reporters, too. My goal is to have them help me excavate and exhume the body of the murdered woman who has been lying their, under 20 years of garbage, for over 50 years. 

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2023/03/29/im-scared/

Why do I bring up evil?

It is the one thing that most counselors don’t speak of. It is not the subject of healing mantras and seldom is it recognized in trauma recovery.

That doesn’t mean it’s not real and the very essence of incest.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/10/06/the-fangs-of-evil/

Millions of us will choose not to tell our story. Deeper still, millions will choose to hide and deny their truth.

It’s just so easy to walk away from the past, or, is it?

It breaks my heart, actually.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/09/14/its-just-so-easy/

No one walks this earth without turmoil — God himself included.

It is part of the human condition. Sometimes hanging over us like a dripping rain cloud. Sometimes disturbing our peace. Sometimes striking a balance of what things need to be left behind.

Challenging me often is my inability to make peace with the people in my past. It would be my great desire to bake for them, giving gifts of my love to them — walking beside them in their own pain and turmoil. But, it just can’t be so for me.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2022/02/14/times-of-turmoil/

Incest is a family affair. I wrote to my daughters on a few Mondays -- sharing it here with you. On Thursdays, my girls wrote back to me.

We are The Three B’s. We hope our story brings reality, inspiration and hope to you.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/09/20/dearest-daughters/

Listen to the full episode!

I shouldn’t be who I am. That’s one of the kindness gifts my counselor gave to me. He believed in me, until I believed in myself.

I am so very grateful for all the work I’ve put in to changing the destiny my parents offered me.

It’s taken a lot of forgiveness. That forgiveness hasn’t been hard for me to give to those that hurt me. The forgiveness I needed the most was for myself.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/03/05/gracious-gratitude/

There are normal folks who struggle with sin and are trying to find their way. There are other folks who have given themselves over to evil – these are a separate bred, the very ones that hold incest close to them.

Incest and all childhood sexual abuse is truly life threatening. It is a mortal wound.

Will you live or will you die?

A mortal wound is an injury that will ultimately lead to a person’s death. Mortal refers to the mortality of a human. Being strong gets old. Looking for the glass half full is tiring. The journey of finding peace can feel elusive at times.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/06/15/a-mortal-wound/

Fear seldom walks with me today, but yesterday it was all I knew.

The message that is left embedded in your soul coming through childhood trauma is fear. Fear of being hurt. Fear of trusting. Fear of the unknown and fear of the known.

But, fear is a liar.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/06/16/an-avalanche-of-fear/

Doesn’t it seem sometimes that bad people get ahead? Doesn’t it appear that the injustices of this world grow each day instead of diminish?

Why is that?

I went to my mother and sister and asked for their help unearthing the bones of the murdered woman still buried on their property. These two despise the truth and abhor what is right.

Why did I go to them?

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/06/17/wickedness-prevails/

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2022/11/29/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/ #trauma #hurt #childhoodtrauma 

Full episode available.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2022/12/02/beauty-in-the-mundane/ #mundane #ordinary #life #lifeaftertrauma #PTSD

What is love, forgiveness -- worth?

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/10/16/jewels-gems-gunpowder-23/

When we keep our stories locked up inside us, denying their validity, we do more than suffer; we perpetuate death.

Death is the action of dying.

Only telling the truth ends this cycle.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/06/08/dog-day-dead/

Lord, could you help us hush those that align against the innocent?

Push back those that hurt the young.

Lord, help us stop those that mock justice and continue in their sin.

Push back those that hurt the young.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2022/11/22/shut-the-mouths-of-liars/

Goat and sheep are two different species, but both of them belong to the same Bovidae family. There are certain differences between a sheep and a goat; some of these can be seen in terms of appearance, behavior and even diet. Let’s look at some differences.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2022/11/23/goat-vs-sheep/

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” C.S. Lewis

Join the discussion – why the church is reluctant to have the topic of incest and childhood sexual crimes discussed openly in church.

My guest with me today is Tanya. She emailed me about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her brother for years. The church has not offered support, but rather asked her to be quiet or broke relationship with her.

If Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted, why don't we talk about it more in church?

1) Is it Godly to talk about our past sexual abuse?

2) Why do some many want us to keep our stories quiet?

3) How long can we talk about our past abuse before we shouldn't?

A letter to me from my youngest child. 

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/09/16/dear-mama-2/

Coming from incest felt like sailing the seas on a large ship that operated well. From my father, who was the captain, to the chief mate, who was my mother, everyone had their roles. Each of them lied to other, they stole from everyone including themselves and there was never rest.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2021/11/01/the-ship-of-abuse/

Which would you choose? Who would knowingly choose famine?

When you stay in families of incest and eat at their holiday tables without an abuser having fully disclosed their secrets, fully acknowledged their abuse, fully repented for their actions and are receiving outside counseling, then you are living a life of famine.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com/2022/11/21/fortune-or-famine/