🧘‍♀️ Embracing Midlife Wellness

Midlife brings unique challenges—restless sleep, joint stiffness, and fluctuating energy. In this episode, we explore holistic approaches to reclaim vitality through mindful movement and breathwork.

🤝 Meet Fariya Doctor

With over 25 years in wellness, Fariya specializes in helping individuals enhance movement, alleviate pain, and improve breathing patterns. Her integrative approach combines manual therapy with movement education using the Feldenkrais method.

🧠 The Power of Habitual Movement

The Feldenkrais Method sheds light on unconscious movement habits. By exploring alternative ways to move, individuals can uncover patterns that may contribute to discomfort or pain.

"Habits tend to be a blind spot. Through gentle exploration, we can discover more efficient ways to move."

🌬️ Breath as a Healing Tool

Breathing patterns significantly impact our nervous system. Fariya emphasizes the importance of conscious breathing to enhance movement and reduce stress.

"Conscious breathwork can immediately influence our nervous system, promoting relaxation and better movement.

Many people don’t know they have breathing pattern disorders. That can be a key issue for breathing problems such as asthma, anxiety, sinus issues, and other chronic health conditions. I had a client with recurring bronchitis. Every single year she would get seriously ill. After assessing her breathing, and looking at her airways I was able to determine she was breathing too fast, and breathing mostly through her mouth. I taught her simple techniques to do daily, and she agreed to start taping her mouth at night. Within a couple of weeks, her symptoms dramatically changed, she was sleeping better, and feeling much less stressed and anxious. The recurring Bronchitis stopped. “anxiety

🛌 Enhancing Sleep and Energy

Proper breathing techniques can improve sleep quality and daytime energy. Fariya shares insights on how breathwork can aid in better rest and increased vitality. So many in our stressed out culture breathe rapidly from the mouth. This results in an excess of oxygen and a depletion of CO2, throwing blood chemistry off and creating a stress response in the system.

"Nighttime breathing sets the tone for daytime focus and energy levels."

🌟 Breathing and Anxiety

We sometimes tell people when they’re stressed to take a deep breath. It could be the exact opposite of what they need. Breathing is automatic and gives us access to so many of the automatic functions in the body, like digestion and falling asleep. Through simple breathing practices, you can rewire your response to stress and stimuli like chronic pain.

🌟 Integrating Breath and Movement

Combining breath awareness with mindful movement creates a powerful synergy for healing. This integrated approach supports sustainable wellness practices.

"Blending breathwork with movement exploration leads to profound and lasting changes."

🎁 Free Resources

Explore additional tools and practices to support your wellness journey:

* Free Breathing Techniques Guide

* Mindful Movement Video Series

By incorporating these practices, you can navigate midlife with greater ease, vitality, and joy. Remember, small, consistent steps lead to meaningful transformation.

So welcome to episode 13 of the Midlife Reset podcast. I'm Cheryl Gordon, and I educate midlife women on sleeping better, feeling stronger, and losing weight using the tools of yoga and mindfulness. We release a new episode of this podcast every week, so be sure to subscribe so you don't miss anything. And, you know, share with your friends. We're really committed to supporting midlife women to rock the most exciting phase of their lives.

So let's share with our girlfriends. Now one of the biggest bonuses I've enjoyed since starting this podcast, not even a full two months ago, is the chance to talk with other amazing women. So here's the story. I reached out to today's guest because I thought our community of midlife women might be interested in a conversation about osteopathy. And if you ever, ever, ever doubt, the that the universe has your back, girlfriend, this is something you wanna catch for sure.

Once we started to get to know each other, today's guest and myself, I discovered a true kindred spirit. And we quickly left the dry medical descriptions of soft tissue work and stuff, and we dove into these great explorations of spirituality and intuition and living our most authentic lives. And it was definitely a guiding force that led me to this fascinating women woman that you're about to meet. And we are all gonna be vibrating a little more intensely after sharing in her love and wisdom. So I'd like to welcome Shira Keller to our show.

She is an osteopath, a mom of three, and a fascinating woman. And we have so much to talk about, Shira, but let's start with your day job. Could you please fill us in on what an osteopath is? First of all, Shira, thank you so much. That was such a kind and warm introduction, and I'm just so honored that you reached out to me and to be here.

So thank you so much. I mean, one of my biggest passions I have a bunch of passions, but one of them is definitely osteopathy. And the way I look at osteopathy is like a human mechanic. So you have a body. You have a car.

All of a sudden, the car light goes on or it's making this funny noise or you have a body and all of a sudden, you have an ache here and a pain there. So you take your car into the shop or you take your body to your osteopath. And the point of the car mechanic is to say, okay. I know you have this light here, but the problem is not with the light bulb. Right?

I am a whiz at cars. I'm gonna open up the front, open up the back, look at the tires, look at the this is, look at the dots, and figure out where is the problem really coming from. Oh, and by the way, you know that sound you hear sometimes when you make a left turn and how that light flicker, the well, the things, those are actually related. So in the same way, our bodies are related, and you come in and you say, hey. It hurts here.

And people often say, can you right here. Why are you going here? And my job is to look at the body as a whole and say, what is really going on with this body? What are all the connections? How is everything linked?

And how can we gently unwind the body in a way that's respectful to the body and is gentle and comfortable to the patient on the table for the purpose of proper alignment. And when there's proper alignment, it's not just, like, the muscles that feel better. If we actually get better blood flow, the nerves work better, even the organs and lymphatics work better. So it's this beautiful amazing picture. Yeah.

And that's a bit about osteopathy. Mhmm. Well, I love how you really emphasized how it's the interconnectedness of all the different parts of the body. And we were talking about breathing and how breathing changes when you move your body in different positions. Yeah.

Absolutely. So that's a really cool thing. Just a quick demo, for all those people out there. So I want you to just bend to the left and twist to the right and take a nice deep breath. And Not much room.

Yeah. Just feel how awful that feels. Yeah. Not much room in there. So don't do that.

It's like a little back. Take a deep breath. Relax your body. But you can see how your posture affects, like, a very obvious thing like your breathe like, you're breathing. And, obviously, we're not walking around totally, you know, like this.

Or but we do have those twists and turns, and they do affect the rib cage. They affect the spine. They affect how the ribs can move, how the intercostal muscles, which are the muscles between your ribs, can have, like, their have the tension, and it can affect you. It could even affect things like you can get migraines, you can get brain fog just from a lack of proper breathing. And I'm sure that's something that you deal with also, allowing people to Bingo.

Yes. Keep those deep breaths and stretch them on on their own. And in the same way that it is with the rib cage and the breathing, you can actually see the seam in the digestive system. When we have a pelvis that's twisted or when we have a rib that is affecting the part of the nerve system that affects the digestive system, when these things are not properly aligned, we can get digestive issues. We can get menstrual issues.

Or on the other side, we can get menopausal issues, hot flashes, and sweats, and all of these things that we wish would leave us. Because we talk to midlife women a lot on this podcast, the alignment of the pelvis and the organs and how the the circulation's moving throughout, that has a big effect on hormones, doesn't it? Absolutely. Especially since hormones, they float in the blood. Right?

And if blood flow is improper for impinging blood flow or we're making the body have to work harder to get the blood where it needs to go, it can definitely affect the body hormonally. Yeah. And and so osteopaths, what what do they do for people? Like, what what does what does a treatment look like? Yeah.

So an initial treatment with me would be someone would come in. We'd take a quick health a quick health history, trying to figure out what are the main things that are bothering you and what is what's gone on in your life that may be causing it. And then my job is to take a look in all positions to see what is moving and what's not moving. What that looks like, it looks like gentle stretching. I'll have you gently push against me.

I'll gently push against you. It doesn't you know, my patients will sometimes get off the table and they'll say, that's it. We're done. And then I'll say, just wait. And then I get a phone call a few minutes later.

Or, you know, the next time they come in, they say, like, wow. Did I feel that? How did I feel that from what you did? You know? How is that even possible?

So that's what it looks like. Just gentle stretching, gentle motion. What it is is so much deeper. It's really figuring out where the body needs to move and where the body hasn't been moving and approaching that tissue in a respectful way. People come in with all sorts of issues.

I'm sure you get a lot of similar, you know, people. A lot of people are coming in with, oh, I have this neck hump or people who feel like their bodies are all folded and kyphosis. Some people come in for more, like, physio physiologic issues like constipation or diarrhea, IBS, migraines. Well, everyone has a different issue. I have my favorite patients are the ones that say, you know, everything's basically fine.

I just wanna make sure that, you know, I'm I'm moving properly, which is incredible because thank you for taking care of your body. Well, if we go back to your mechanics, analogy, I mean, we go in for tune ups all the time for our car, oil changes, that sort of thing. So you can help patients retain their mobility with regular checkups. That's exactly it. And when you're going for regular checkups, you don't have the like, those big extreme swings.

Right? When people come in and they say, hey. I've been in pain. Like, the progression I usually get is that people say, oh, I had this back pain, for example, and it used to come and go. And then it would come for, like, two weeks, but then it would go.

And then, like, the last time it came, it just it hasn't gone, and it's been, you know, a month, two months, or it's been a year, two years, or it's been ten years or twenty years. And when you're now going in twenty years later, okay. That's fine. I'm glad you're here. We're gonna work things out.

We're gonna make things the best they can be. And I wish that we didn't let it get there because it could have been tune up. It could have been a few quick treatments. And now we're having to put a little more effort into the body, which is so worth it still. But, you know, I wish we didn't have to get there.

And and when you have somebody who's had that little warning signal in their system for such a long period of time, that comes with actual neurological changes which affects your alignment and your movement. So you're unwinding deeper and deeper patterns the longer that little danger signal has been there. Exactly. And our body likes to be in the position that it's in. Right?

So Familiar. Sometime what was that? It's familiar. Right? Yeah.

Exactly. It's familiar. Sometimes you have to like, there's a process of unlearning it when it's been that way for so long, reminding you, oh, you have mobility to stand straight. Right? When before it was they were stuck in that way, now we have we have to remind the body, hey.

Look. Now we can do it on our own. But when you go in and you erase those issues right at the beginning, you don't have that same uphill battle. Yeah. And I just Oh, go ahead.

Sorry. Sure. I just like to say when I first started, I had this, like, very powerful vision, that for my business and for my for my practice, I really I saw my own grandparents aging, and then I saw my parents aging, and it really, like, it really hit me. Like, wow. They're aging like my grandparents.

And I have this dream that every grandparent and every grandparent can get on the floor with their grandkids. Like, you know, you wait so long for those opportunities if you're blessed to have them, to be able to get down on the floor, to be able to play with them, and then to be able to get back up, not be afraid, am I gonna get stuck? You get to get back up without the sound effects, you know, like, oh, oh, oh, you know, to be able to just go down and get up, like, with a functional body. So that's my dream. Well, that's wonderful.

And as a grandma, I'm like, thank you. Because, you know, it it you really do that's a great why to take care of yourself. And a shout out to all midlife women. We give so much to others, and we rarely ask for a lot back. But, it is really important to take care of yourself and go for these regular tune ups and do your body work because your why is so you can really be there for your family in the long run and it'd be be able to really take that joy from the family.

Right? There's something that I find really notable about that. I think sometimes we're afraid to be takers and especially your generation. You guys are a generation of givers, and you guys have really given a lot, and it's beautiful. And I think sometimes self care has this, like, tone of well, like, it's just taking.

I'm just caring for myself, and I don't wanna be all about me. That's not my type. I'm not maybe you knew a woman like that that was, like, offensive to you or disgusting to you. And I just wanna reframe that as we're not giving to we're not taking to have, we're taking to give. Right?

We're we're caring for ourselves so that and I think when our our taking is in balance like that, it actually feels amazing. Yeah. When we keep in mind, it's it's so we can ultimately be of more service. Let's let's double back to this. I just wanna finish a little bit more about our discussion on osteopathy.

Can you share with us maybe some case studies, Shira, of some of your clients and how they have benefited from osteopathy? Yeah. Absolutely. So I have a few patients that stick out in my mind. One of them this was the one that I think hit me the most emotionally.

I had a patient. She was coming for a few months already. And in that time, not only did her body change, like, crazy. Like, she went from being in excruciating pain, and I could barely put my hands on her without her saying, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. And osteopathy is a very gentle practice.

So if I have a patient that's saying ouch, ouch, I know this is a body that's really crying for help, to a point where she was coming in and saying, yeah, sure. Do your magic. I'm I'm feeling pretty good. Usually, I kick these patients out, but she I couldn't kick her out. And and I said to her, like, you know, a lot has changed in the past, I don't know, three months, four months.

And she said, you know, Shira, I've been doing this work in therapy for years. I've been really working on myself and trying to get all these different things in motion. And I was trying my best, but it wasn't really going anywhere. And when I started working with you, all the things I was working on in therapy, they started just it started being so much easier to do it. One of the examples she gave me is that, you know, she likes to cook and she would wanna cook for herself and cook for her mother, Givers, Us woman givers, cooking for her mother.

And she wants to really be able to provide that nutritious food, but she couldn't stand on her feet for that long. And now that her body is functioning so much better, she says, like, Shira, I can stand and I can cook for an hour, for two hours, for three hours. Whatever I need to do, I can just do it. I want to exercise because it doesn't hurt me to exercise anymore. So to me, that was like a wow.

Like, look how amazing it is to have a functional body and what it can do to the rest of your life. So that was one patient. Can can we just talk about that for just a second more? I'm kind of going a bit off script. I know, Shira, but I just love that that story because it just shows that nothing like I mean, I've been to therapy.

I think I think, you know, therapy is a really important part of our health care, but how you have to have that somatic component to it. Because as one of my teachers says, the issues are in the tissues. And when you work with the soft tissue and osteopathy, you're actually starting to move some of that stuck emotion. We often say emotions are energy in motion. So we've got that locked energy in our tissues and the osteopath comes and starts to help us release, and then the therapy just clicks in so much more, you know, intensively.

And I think sometimes in therapy, you're like you feel like you're pushing. It's an uphill battle. Right? Like, you have to, like it's all in here, and I'm trying to do the right thing and make the right step. And I think when you just release the body, when the body is not in a state of fight or flight, and that's a really beautiful thing that happens on the table.

So I really feel bodies release tension and really relax. You know, people get up, and I can't carry a conversation with them after because they're just they're in this, like, post treatment relaxation. They're Yeah. Yeah. Physically induced.

It's but it's it's amazing to see and then to have where, like, that's the effect. It's really it's really incredible. Yeah. Another just telling me about that one patient who was really struggling to breathe, and they were they had some surgery. Because I think a lot of people can relate to this.

When you have surgery, it's it there's a lot more than just the scar to heal, isn't there? Absolutely. And I think one of the frustrating parts about surgery also is that, you know, sometimes it officially works, but it doesn't it doesn't do what we wanted it to do. We didn't realize that when you go in, there'll be all these other effects like the scar tissues. And and sometimes, you know, I had, two c sections.

And when I had my first, I was still in school. When I had my second, I was also still in school. But when I had my first, I was in first year of osteopathy, and I and I remember just being devastated. Like, I'm caught. I'm caught tissue.

I have scar tissue. And I remember one of my professors said, yeah. You would have died otherwise. And he was like, oh, yeah. You're right.

Like, sometimes you just gotta do it. And, you know, if you can't move and you need that knee replacement, you need that knee replacement. But with that said, that tissue's still around and needs to adjust. And, you know, when that scar tissue will affect the rest of the body, it's just the reality, and it's okay we can cope with that reality. So that patient you were talking about, had had quite a bit of surgery and quite a huge scar.

And it was definitely a necessary surgery, and, you know, it's just the reality of these are the bodies we live with. And it was amazing. By just focusing on releasing that abdominal scar tissue, that patient was able to get a full deep breath. And it it's just, like, so it's so cool to feel it. I you know, to put my hands on the rib cage and to feel those ribs going in and out.

And it's obviously it's a more complicated each person is a more complicated picture. They're not just this piece of scar tissue. Right? There's a spine that's been doing what it's been doing for years. There's the rib cage that's been doing what it's been doing for years.

There's a whole body that's attached to it, but it was so cool to have that that change just under my hands. And then just one more case if you'll Yeah. For sure. Oh, man. Two more cases.

Okay. Whatever. One of them is a quick one. I had a patient. This is actually I was still in school when I treated.

She was a friend of mine, and she comes in. And for all of you who can't, see in the video, I'll describe it as I'm doing it. She came in and she said, oh, my right arm, it's killing me. And she lifts her arm to about 45 degrees painfully, and then she goes, this is what I can do. She takes her left arm, she grabs her right arm, and she shoves it up.

Up. And she goes, that's as much as I can do. And I'm thinking, if you have to use one arm to shove the other arm up, you can't do any of that. Like, stop it. Don't do that.

And it was amazing. So she said she had already been to the best physio in Toronto, and he told her it was in her head. Oh, no. Because officially, everything was fine. And I treated her, and it was incredible.

After that first treatment, she was had full mobility of that shoulder. This is sometimes there's miracles, but the miracles are not me. Okay? Just so we're fully clear. Sometimes there's miracles and the miracles are not me.

Osteopathy is so cool. And my greatest gift is to just be a messenger when I can be that messenger. But she had full range of motion with some pain, and the next morning, she had no pain. And it's stayed. It's been eight years.

She's had a few tune ups here and there, but, otherwise, it's been incredible. So that was one. And then the one more patient who I also think went to the same physio who also told her her it was in her head. I could be wrong with that, though. But she was having, a she could not did not have any feeling in one of her feet, and it started creeping up.

And it even got to the point where her foot was sliding off the gas pedal. Now this is a younger woman. I'm not talking about someone who's in her insert very older age here. I don't wanna say an age because this is a woman in her late thirties. Yeah.

And that is devastating. Oh. That is devastating. And she had done everything. She had done physio, and she'd done everything.

And it was incredible working on her and seeing as she slowly started getting feeling back in her foot, getting more control over her foot. She's a busy woman, so it's not always easy to catch her and, you know, or for her to focus on on that piece. But it was absolutely incredible to see a change, and I've had a few patients to say that said, oh, are your floors heated? And I'll say, yeah. And they say, I didn't have a feeling in my feet before.

I never noticed it before. So but, yeah, those are my patients. Well, obviously, you really love what you do, Shira. I wanna jump to something else that you really love. You have three kids.

How old are you? So I have my oldest is seven. I have a boy that's seven and I have twins that boy girl twins that are four and a half. You are busy. So thank you so much for taking this time today.

I just wanted to ask you about being a mom and the work that you do. When you went through having having the kids, how did that change for you? Yeah. It's a great question. So I had my kids in school.

So I wouldn't say so much has changed, but I would say that those two processes happen together. Osteopathy, like, really percolating in my mind and parenthood. So the way osteopathy was taught to me was principles based. So it wasn't just I have a shoulder here of 10 techniques for the shoulder. It was here is all of anatomy.

Now here's how physiology works. Now go figure out how it's connected. How can that pain be coming from upwards, downwards, to the right, to the left? What are all the pieces? How can we sort out this person?

And I think I really look at my kids the same way. You know, it's not just what is this behavior, but it's where is this where is the behavior coming from? What's there? What is my goal for you as a human? Right?

Not how do I get you to listen to me, which sometimes I also just need. But how do I really support you in in learning and growing? So that's, like, one one way. And I think vice versa, being a mother has affected me as an osteopath because you just learn compassion as a mother, and you learn that things take time and that sometimes a kid just is in the stage of tantrums, and they're gonna outgrow it, and you just have to keep plugging away and repeat the same over and over again. And in the same way bodies, I love to see bodies that heal quickly, and we have to understand that bodies have their own pace and their own trajectory.

And sometimes it takes time, and sometimes it feels like you're doing the same thing over and over. But, eventually, that seed that you sprout in that body will bud, and you'll see you'll see fruit from that from those treatments. I love that you're emphasizing how, you know, we all have this really unique journey in the body's an expression of that, and so there's not a good or a bad. Right. It strikes me that the cataclysmic shifts that us women go through as we learn about motherhood is kinda similar to the rock my world that comes with menopause.

I mean, everything has to change whether we like it or not. Yeah. It's very true. It's very true. I look at it kind of like a butterfly and you have this caterpillar, and it is an entity into itself.

It's a whole creature, that caterpillar, but it's not. It's in its complete form. And motherhood and and this, like, you know, growing up and becoming not just the little baby woman and mommy, but but going through menopause and going through a whole other trajectory and stage of life. You have, like, these crazy hormones. And, also, like, your perspective is shifting on things, and you're seeing things different, and you have more wisdom and more maturity, and that can feel very destructive.

And it can feel very internally, like, it could destroy you in a certain sense. And I think that's on purpose that that we change and this the butterfly emerges not as a caterpillar with red wings. It emerges as a whole new creature. And I think as mothers and as more senior women, we also emerge in the same way as with totally different perspectives and as a much more well rounded person. Yeah.

You said the authentic person. Sometimes I feel like I'm just growing into my voice. Yeah. Dara, I know you're tuning in more and more to your own intuition when working with patients. Can you can you share how that feels for you?

Like, what sort of outcomes do you see when you welcome that sort of spiritual awareness into your work? Yeah. So I see intuition and spirituality as a little bit as separate. There is an intuition that I think as an osteopath, you know, it's been eight years that I've had my hands on bodies including school and practice. And you start to to trust that, yes, these are all the things I could do, but this is where I feel like this person is going, and I'm just gonna go with it.

So you're applying the principles of osteopathy, but with that intuitive sense of, I think this is my best bet. We're gonna follow this channel. If it doesn't work, I have I have the 10 other ways I could think perhaps I could think down. So for me, what that looks like is just being available to the patient, really quieting my own inner voice and trying to listen what does this patient need right now, what does this body need. Sometimes I'll get, like, a clarity that says, you know, this doesn't feel like an injury or this feels like something old.

This feels like it's not letting go and it's not doing what I want to do. I was holding someone's neck the other day, and it just wasn't releasing. And I had gone I had worked on the shoulders, and I had worked on the spine, and I had worked to here, and I worked to there, and it wasn't letting go. So I just asked them, like, what are you holding here? What emotions are you holding in your neck?

Which is not something I would typically ask. And she knew what it was, and she said, I'm holding this there. And I said, what would you need to do to release that? And she told me what she would need to do. And I said, I want you to just really take a minute and visualize that.

And as I'm holding her neck, like, I just felt it go. So I think when when I am more open to that intuitive piece, you it's just you're guided in certain directions, and that's you know, it's a really cool thing. Sometimes people will even have an emotional release at the same time. Sometimes they know what it's about. Sometimes they don't even know what it's about.

They just, you know, feel like they need to cry and let things go and blessed to have that safe space for them. So you have to you have to kind of really do your own personal work, Shira, so that you can be really, like you said, truly available to your patient. Yeah. Definitely. But I feel like I I feel like that's me.

Like, I just feel like my own my own journey and my own you know, the way I was made and the way my own life experiences have just kind of allowed me to be that. I don't wanna say naturally because I think we all have to work on things, but more naturally, I think. I have a very nonjudgmental personality. I'm able to just hold things for people. So I think that kind of helps with that.

And and as you come into your own, Shara, because you're a couple decades younger than me, how are you finding your voice for spiritual growth? Yes. So I think it was very hard to find that voice when I had my kids. I was a very spiritual person when I was teenager, and I had kids pretty young. So I think that really did you know, like we were talking talking before, it did walk rock my world, especially spiritually.

And I think now that I have more space, I have been giving myself the opportunity to just have quiet. And I think that sometimes spirituality is just uncovering your own self and seeing who am I really? Because the greatest gift that we have to give to the world is really ourselves. Right? Some of us are blessed to have people we love and some of us are alone, and we really are our own gift to the world.

And, yeah, so connecting with myself. And then I think when we connect with ourselves, then we are available to connect with other people and to I mean, I connect to God or whatever people connect to higher being when we are our most authentic self, I think that is, like, the greatest spiritual ascension that we can have. Well, wise words for one so young. You know, when we hit our fifties and our sixties, a lot of us have been conforming all these years, and we're just so used to making everyone else happy or being people pleasers that that spiritual longing within us has really gone unanswered for so many decades, and we're numbing out. We're drinking too much wine.

We're shopping too much. We're eating too much chocolate. We're obsessively planning travel or renovations. Sounds nice. Well, it it it's pleasurable, but it's taking us away.

It's distracting us from true joy. And I think that's what you're talking about, building that time for quiet, getting to know yourself, kind of being your own best friend. It's something I've been really learning in the last couple years. So I I just wanna wind back to your day job for a minute, Sherry. This has been amazing.

With the drop in hormones that midlife women explain experience comes a lot of injuries and joint pain. And this is real. It's not just in our heads, so no one should tell us it's, you know, it's not real like I you were telling us before. Right. And I don't like hearing you're just getting old, deal with it, because that's what a lot of clients have been told.

And I know that there's tons of that that I can offer from the yoga world to keep people mobile and graceful. But, Shira, there's there's lots that you can do as an osteopath that compliments what yoga brings. Right? Yeah. Absolutely.

To me, the greatest compliment between osteopathy and yoga is it's your job to keep the body moving as a whole. Right? That's the daily practice. Whereas for me, when you're generally moving as a whole, there'll still be areas that you don't have proper leverage to get into, And that's my job. My job is when you're taking care of your body like you are, you come to me and I say, these ribs these ribs aren't moving.

Very gently. Let's make those ribs move. Let's get your sacrum moving. Let's make sure the pelvis is nice and aligned. But I don't have to work as hard hard when you're doing the daily alignment.

And when I do my alignment for you, then you'll see that you have so much more range of motion. Or I'm sure you find with yourself and with others, sometimes the left side moves more, sometimes the right side moves more. We're uneven. So and sometimes that's just us, and that's okay. I have scoliosis.

I'll always be uneven. That's okay. But the main thing is that when things are moving better and feeling better, you can really continue that practice, that daily practice, and keep opening yourself up. And I find I mean, I wanna say a % of the time. I feel like you can never say a % of the time, but almost a % of the time, my patients that exercise, my patients that move, it's a world of a difference how they age and versus how my patients that don't move.

Difference how they age and versus how my patients that don't move. And it doesn't matter body size, it really, really is. Are you moving? Are you moving regularly? And are you moving in a way that feels good to you?

It makes a huge difference. Well, Well, thank you for that shout out because I I always say movement is your medicine. So, Shira, we will put your website in the show notes so people can contact you. Where are you physically practicing from right now? Where's your I'm in the right now.

In the GTA. In the GTA. Okay. Wonderful. Because I know I mean, you certainly have a lot of population to to draw from, but you also have some plans.

We won't say anything today, but also have some plans to reach out to a digital audience. So you'll wanna make sure you visit Shira's website and just keep abreast of these lovely things. So thank you so much for sharing today, Shira. It's been an honor to connect with a kindred spirit, and we'll have to check-in with each other soon. Maybe you can come back and do another episode to see where your heart centered dreams are incubating.

Thank you. And, Cheryl, thank you. It's been really lovely to speak to you. Okay. Everyone listening, you guys are all so blessed to have Cheryl.

Keep on listening. So it is so nice. Thank you so much for the work you're doing. Namaste. Namaste.

In the meantime, before we have Shira back, I will put a link, as I said, in the show notes for Shira's contact information. I'll also put a link to a joint freeing series video that's on my website. This is a program of simple movement. It can be done standing, using a chair. There's another version where you're even laying down in bed.

So it's a great way at home to build more mobility, freedom of movement, and like Sherra was saying, so when you go to see her, you've already done your homework. At least until you can get to your friendly local osteopath. Have a wonderful day, and we will look forward to talking with you next time. Thank you.

Contact Shira:

https://alignedtodesign.com/

Get a Free Joint Freeing practice video to alleviate chronic pain and mobilize your body…. https://cherylgordonyt.com/at-home-yoga-programs-for-women-over-50/a-miracle-cure-for-sore-joints/

C: Episode 4!!! We’re so amazingly psyched to finally give you the action plan for managing the stress - weight connection. I’m Cheryl Gordon. I help educate midlife women about sleeping better, feeling stronger and losing weight using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

S: And I’m Sharlene Styles, certified holistic nutritionist, life coach and metabolism mechanic. You want to lose that menopause middle or belly? The stuff that just appears out of nowhere it seems!

C: I know! And I was still exercising, eating healthy, etc. Where did all that flesh come from???

S: Today we’ll look at the role of cortisol and why that causes weight gain. So many of my clients are busy, accomplished women who have juggled stressful schedules and lives for decades. Why do they suddenly gain weight from stress? It seems like nothing new after all.

C: I might have a clue. (show graphic) When we’re at home base, we are feeling safe, calm and centred. Below home base, we’re feeling a lack of energy. Above home base, we’re feeling jazzed, maybe a bit scattered, even overwhelmed. We’re at our best when we’re at home base. Our brain is firing on all cylinders but we’re also maximizing efficiency in our systems. Pushing our systems to the orange zone is inefficient, exhausting and depleting our bodies of essential infrastructure repair resources.

Picture a war zone. That’s a place that has been in crisis mode and it’s a blown up wreck of rubble. After decades of running crazy, never resting enough, pushing ourselves to the limit, our systems are a blown up wreck in a lot of ways. Not enough energy to digest well or do cellular repair.

In our 30’s, we could get away with it. But the consistent deficit of restoring the systems adds up.

S: And the hormone that circulates during prolonged periods in that orange zone is cortisol. When cortisol stays high for too long—whether from stress, over-exercising, or lack of sleep—it signals your body to store fat, especially around the belly. That’s because your body thinks it needs to conserve energy for a crisis, even if that “crisis” is just daily stress. Plus, cortisol triggers the breakdown of glycogen into glucose, flooding your system with extra fuel to escape the perceived threat—except there’s nothing to actually run from. And as we covered in the hormone episode, that spike in glucose triggers an insulin response, and insulin’s job is to store fat—especially in the belly.

C: Last session, I mentioned yoga and mindfulness “snacks”.

S: Yeah, I love that term! Rather than using food as snacks, we nourish our nervous system instead.

C: It’s just not that easy for the average busy woman to take an hour for a yoga practice then meditate twice a day and glide around chanting peace, love and joy. It is a great way to live for sure, but not practical for most.

Yoga and mindfulness “snacks” are mini-retreats that you weave into your day.

S: Like the 3 minute breathing space?

C: Yes! Or a quick series of stretches or a short “loving kindness” meditation

S: And how often would you recommend people “snack” on yoga each day?

C: I think it’s realistic to build in 3 snacks a day. Overall, this is only 15 minutes or less. You could squeeze that out couldn’t you Sharlene, as busy as you are?

S: It’s just a matter of understanding the benefit and making that commitment to myself and making it a daily habit. And I may even venture to say to feel it’s benefits?

C: You know it. How could just 3 - 5 minutes on a reset make any real impact? It’s got to do with resilience. I know how it feels to get stuck in the orange zone of stress. (Show graphic again) It’s addicting to feel that rush of adrenalin. Coming down out of the orange zone to the gray zone feels dull and depressing. God forbid I feel anything unpleasant! So I push back up to jazzy. There’s no real chance to get familiar with that green zone.

The little “snacks” re-educate the nervous system to find that green zone. And you develop the ability to land in the green zone on demand, even if outside circumstances are still super crazy.

S: I always feel more relaxed and grounded after yoga.

C: The reason mindful movement is so powerful has to do with how stress is held in the tissues.

Every event that has ever happened to you… someone smiled at you yesterday or, conversely, you almost got hit in traffic… this creates a neurochemical reaction in the body. The brain, almost instantaneously, evaluates this circumstance, searches through its lifelong database of possible meanings and then issues commands for a hormonal cascade that historically has helped you manage similar circumstances. To facilitate the effectiveness of this mechanism, the tissues in the body ALSO store records of these neurochemical signatures and stand super ready to send signals up to the brain as to how to react. It’s bi-directional information flowing constantly in your nervous system (and probably through your connective tissue).

That’s why the slow, rhythmic movement of yoga, timed with deep nostril breathing, literally cleanses these neurochemical habits. Yoga really is unique in that it combines movement with no competitive aspect to fire up the nervous system. So you get the physical benefits of exercise plus the guidance back to the green zone.

I really want to do a deeper dive on somatics and releasing stress in our four part course, Sharlene.

S: Yes, I’m so excited about that. We’ll be releasing several deeper dive courses over the next few months so be sure to sign up for our newsletters to get priority access. You can find sign up forms and more resources on either of our websites, www.purenaturalhealth.ca or www.cherylgordonyt.com Please subscribe to this youtube channel or comment. Let us know how your empress journey is unfolding and whether these topics affect you too.

S: Welcome to Episode 3! Today I’m excited to bust a few myths about hormones and weight gain. That jazzes me - being a nutrition nerd.

C: This is Sharlene Styles, certified holistic nutritionist, life coach and metabolism mechanic. I’m Cheryl Gordon. I provide education about sleeping better, losing weight and feeling stronger for midlife women using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

This is such an essential topic. All most of us know at this stage of life is that hormones are wonky and ruining my life!

S: For sure. What we may have always taken for granted has suddenly shaken our confidence and maybe even the scale. I get it. Even for me, what I used to do for exercise or nutrition just stopped working.

C: I thought I’d breeze through menopause because I do yoga. Yoga balances hormones. Which it does. But with the cataclysmic shifts for women over 50, a whole new level of understanding is necessary.

S: So let’s dive in. You mentioned "cataclysmic shifts"—and that’s not an exaggeration! The changes happening in midlife aren’t just about menopause; they’re about how our entire system is interconnected. I look at it as the intersection of midlife where the ‘hormone domino effect’ collides with years of built-up imbalances—nutritional gaps, stress overload, digestive issues, and a metabolism that’s just not playing by the same rules anymore. It’s like our bodies suddenly changed the game on us! And no one informed us of the new rules.

C: My yoga and self care rituals were great but there was this background deficit for decades. We just keep pushing because we can get away with it. No one told us when we were 30 that burning the candle at both ends would kick us in the ass someday. Or maybe they did and we didn’t listen.

S: When we look at hormones, when one hormone shifts, it triggers changes in others, setting off a chain reaction that affects everything from metabolism to mood, sleep, and even how we store fat.

For example, when estrogen starts to decline, it impacts insulin sensitivity—meaning your body might store more fat, especially around the belly. Lower estrogen also affects cortisol, your stress hormone, which can increase cravings and disrupt sleep. And when sleep is off, guess what? Your hunger hormones—ghrelin and leptin—get out of whack, making you feel hungrier and less satisfied with food.

C: So, it’s not just "hormones gone wild"—it’s a whole cascade of effects that make it harder to feel balanced.

S: Exactly! That’s why what used to work for diet and exercise may not work anymore. But when you understand this domino effect, you can start making shifts that work with your body instead of fighting against it.

C: Wow, so it’s not just about willpower—it’s about working with our biology?

S: Yes! And once we understand the "why" behind these changes, we can take steps to reset metabolism, balance hormones, and feel like ourselves again.

C: So it’s not just estrogen that causes the weight gain BUT it’s the drop in many influential hormones that starts that domino effect. Why is it that insulin resistance becomes such a big deal?

S: Great question! Insulin is one of the most powerful hormones in your body, responsible for regulating blood sugar and how your body stores or burns energy aka fat. But as we hit midlife, hormonal changes—especially the drop in estrogen—can make our cells less sensitive to insulin. This means your body has to produce more insulin to keep blood sugar stable.

C: And more insulin means…?

S: More fat storage! Insulin is a fat-storage hormone, especially around the belly. When insulin levels stay high, it becomes harder for your body to burn stored fat. Plus, insulin resistance can lead to energy crashes, sugar cravings, and that frustrating feeling of weight gain—even when you think you’re eating well.

C: So it’s not just about carbs—it’s about how our body processes them differently now?

S: Yes! And how and when we eat them. The same bowl of pasta that didn’t affect you in your 30s might now trigger a bigger insulin response in your 50s, leading to more fat storage and cravings later.

C: That makes so much sense! So how do we keep insulin in check?

S: The key is balancing blood sugar—which means focusing on protein, fat and fiber at every meal, choosing slow-digesting carbs, and avoiding long periods of fasting or extreme dieting. Strength training also helps because muscle makes your body more insulin-sensitive!

C: We’ve all heard about reducing sugar and simple carbs. But it’s tricky right?

S: The good news is this topic is making it to the mainstream more now than ever. There are some simple food fixes that can make a big difference—without feeling deprived. It’s not just about cutting sugar; it’s about choosing the right kinds of carbs. Simple carbs—like white bread, pastries, and sugary snacks—spike blood sugar and lead to crashes, cravings, and fat storage. But complex carbs—like veggies and legumes—break down more slowly because of the fiber they contain, keeping energy stable rather than peaking then crashing like it does with simple carbs. Pairing those with protein and healthy fats helps even more, making it easier to control cravings, boost energy, and lose stubborn belly fat. Perhaps the most supportive way of looking at carbs, is to not eat them on their own - to have them part of a balanced meal or at the end of a meal.

C: In my training, I’ve become convinced that deprivation, in terms of low calorie diets or intermittent fasting, really screws up the nervous system. Which makes us vulnerable to binges and other behaviours to just make us feel better (think over exercising, excessive shopping, a little too much wine, etc). I really love your balanced, holistic approach here.

S: Thanks! This is why we are here today, really trying to reassure women like us that losing the menopause belly is do-able without extremes.

C: And I know that we’ll talk more next session about stress and weight gain, but can I just insert here how it is essential that we invest in self care? For example, I make great food choices all day long. Then it’s after dinner, I’m tired, trying to shut out all the messages in my head that I didn’t achieve enough today, etc. The chips and chocolate are calling to me while I’m trying to chill with Netflix. Willpower is just too hard when my defences are down. My nervous system KNOWS that if I just dive into that yummy treat, I’ll feel instantly better. It might be the first time all day that I feel relaxed or that I finally got something for just myself.

That’s the secret… right there. We need to build in regular breaks throughout our day where we feel like we’re nurtured, where we can relax a bit and that our needs are being recognized.

Shameless plug here for yoga and mindfulness snacks at regular intervals throughout the day. You can find lots of resources on my website… things that take just 3 minutes. I promise you, if you take this up as an experiment, you will definitely find those nighttime urges for simple carbs reduce.

S: And it may be worth mentioning that by balancing macros (protein, healthy fat and complex carbs at every meal) can also help the nighttime cravings. I’m excited to dive deeper into this topic in our four part course, Hormones and Weight Gain. Be sure to sign up for either of our newsletters or comment below so you get priority access to it.

C: If you found this helpful, please share with other fabulous women. In the meantime, you can find more resources on either of our websites, www.purenaturalhealth.ca or www.cherylgordonyt.com Please subscribe to this youtube channel or comment below. Let us know how this new knowledge is shifting your exercise or dietary habits.

C: Welcome back to episode 2! Today, we’ll cover why caloric restriction is doomed to fail AND you’ll get some great strategies for befriending your metabolism. I’m Cheryl Gordon, yoga therapist.

S: And I’m Sharlene Styles, certified holistic nutritionist, life coach and metabolism mechanic. Here are the answers no one is talking about because selling you a medication, diet product or a supplement generates big recurring profits. Healing yourself naturally doesn’t generate ongoing revenue.

C: Sharlene, let’s show the Total Daily Energy Expenditure pic. For me, it totally made it clear why calories in and calories out is just not helpful!

S: Yes, the expenditure of energy is a good fundamental concept to understand when it comes to metabolism and weight management.

Basically it’s the total amount of energy your body burns in a day. It’s made up of four parts:

Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) – This is the energy your body needs just to keep you alive—breathing, circulating blood, and even thinking! It makes up the largest chunk of your TDEE. about 70%

Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis (NEAT) – This includes all the little movements we don’t think about—fidgeting, walking to the kitchen, even talking with our hands! Which makes up about 15% of the total

Thermic Effect of Food (TEF) – This is the energy your body uses to digest and process food. Protein-rich foods actually burn more calories during digestion! This uses about 10% of TDEE

C: That’s why you suggested last episode to prioritize protein!

S: Exercise Activity (EA) – This is the energy burned during intentional movement, like workouts, yoga, or a dance class. 5%

C: Whoa, just 5%! So it's not just about the gym?

S: Not at all! In fact, NEAT can make a bigger impact than you think. Small daily movements add up over time, and understanding your TDEE helps you make smart choices for sustainable energy balance.

C: So all the diets I’ve been on that calculate my Basic Metabolic Rate plus the calories I’m burning in exercise are bogus?

S: Not necessarily bogus, but definitely incomplete. Most diet plans focus only on BMR and workouts, ignoring NEAT and the Thermic Effect of Food.

C: So, I’ve been missing two key pieces of the puzzle?

S: Exactly! If you only focus on exercise, you’re overlooking the 10-15% of calories burned through daily movement. Plus, digestion itself burns calories—especially when you eat protein-rich foods. The problem is, most diet plans don’t factor in how your body uniquely uses energy.

C: That makes so much sense! So instead of obsessing over gym time, I should be looking at my whole daily energy picture?

S: Yes! Sustainable weight management isn’t just about burning calories in the gym—it’s about working with your metabolism all day long.

C: Can we just shout out to the rooftops that all that data on your smart device about calories burned is probably hurting your progress?!!!

S: It can really distracting from mindfulness, right?

C: When I’m teaching yoga, the smart watches are beeping and chirping. I find it affects my concentration so I can imagine how it interferes with the practice for the student. I’m so glad you’re clarifying why the obsession with tracking steps or calories is just not necessary. Let’s get into the experience of the activity… be mindful!

S: Hear! Hear!

We’ll take a deeper dive into why calories in and calories out is not an effective model in our dedicated four part course (details coming so be sure to sign up for our newsletters at www.cherylgordonyt.com or www.purenaturalhealth.ca) but let’s just outline here the reasons exercising to lose weight is a frustrating endeavour.

C: You know Sharlene, I still find myself labouring under these outdated beliefs! So to our listeners, you are not alone!

1. The body is a super efficient machine. For most of our existence as humans, starvation was a reality. For the first few minutes of an activity, the body might kick in extra energy but very quickly, it adapts and minimizes energy expenditure. So this phenomenon is not reflected in calorie counters on your smart device.

2. Even if you did burn 500 calories on the treadmill, eating one store bought muffin blows that away.

3. All that time pushing yourself into more and more km or calorie burn means you get pressed for time in other areas. This creates stress. Which inhibits weight loss. More on this in episode 4.

4. Long periods of steady state cardio exercise can actually reduce muscle mass.

S: Yikes! Losing muscle mass is not where we need to go.

Because muscle is like a metabolic engine—it keeps your body burning energy efficiently. But as we hit midlife, things start to shift.

* We naturally lose muscle mass—starting as early as our 30s. As women, we can lose up to 2% per year, and this loss speeds up in our 40s and 50s. Less muscle means a slower metabolism, which can lead to weight gain, less energy, and even a higher risk of injury.

* Hormonal changes—declining estrogen, progesterone, and even testosterone can make it harder to maintain muscle and easier to store fat. Remember our discussion of the Musculoskeletal Syndrome last episode.

* We often move less—life gets busy, stress increases, and we might not prioritize movement like we used to. Less movement = fewer calories burned daily.

C: So that’s why it feels like my metabolism is slowing down?

S: Exactly! But here’s the good news: You can fight back by focusing on muscle-building activities, staying active throughout the day, and fueling your body properly. Strength training, walking, and protein-rich foods can help counteract these changes and keep your metabolism strong!

C: Just to emphasize… it’s a combination of prioritizing muscle building in fitness, focusing on protein each meal and investing in meaningful self care that shifts the needle… NOT cutting out food groups, starving yourself or doing killer workouts!

S: Yes! It’s not about quick fixes—it’s about making small, sustainable shifts that work with your body. Let’s look at this again. (Show graphic on TDEE.)

To naturally reset your metabolism, focus on these three areas:

Move More – Prioritize strength training and increase daily movement (NEAT) to preserve muscle and keep your metabolism active.

Fuel Smart – Eat protein at every meal to support muscle maintenance and boost the Thermic Effect of Food (TEF).

Recover Well – Stress management, quality sleep, and self-care all help regulate hormones that impact metabolism.

When you put these together, your body starts working for you instead of against you!

C: I still find myself a little panicky that I didn’t get my “k’s” in. And feeling guilty when I’m putting up my feet mid day. But I look at my scale with a big grin and know this is the secret sauce.

S: Right?! We’ve been fed this story for decades, and we’ve taken it as truth. But now, we know better—and we can do better!

If you found this helpful, share it with other women who could benefit from it, too. And if you want more resources, check out our websites: www.purenaturalhealth.ca or www.cherylgordonyt.com.

Don’t forget to subscribe to this sub stack and drop a comment below—tell us how this new perspective is shifting your approach to exercise or nutrition. We’d love to hear from you!

C: See you next episode for an essential discussion about hormones, especially the one hormone that holds fat more than any other.

S: Welcome! It is so amazing that you’re here. This 8-part series is intended to break myths, empower women, and provide real, actionable steps. We’re going to help midlife women manage their weight without extreme diets or over-exercising.

I’m Sharlene Styles, a holistic nutritionist, metabolism mechanic, and life coach.

C: And I’m Cheryl Gordon, a professional yoga therapist. The real reason I’m here - partnering with Sharlene - is because I wish this resource had been available to me ten years ago

S: After years of helping women transform their health, I found myself facing challenges when I hit perimenopause. What once worked—just didn’t anymore. That led me to dive deep into hormones, metabolism, and midlife health—first to solve my own struggles, then to help others do the same. Now, I’m here to share what actually works, so you don’t have to waste time guessing or feeling stuck.

C: Sharlene and I are committed to getting this essential info out to women like us. Each episode will be under 20 minutes and blend nutrition, movement, stress management, and mindset to create sustainable results.

S: Cheryl and I are dedicated to supporting women, like you and like us, find answers in a sea of misinformation and outright craziness sometimes.

C: Let’s dive in. Sooooo, menopause kicked my butt. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that it wasn’t the hot flashes, wrinkles or sleeplessness that drove me to finally ask for help. It was the weight gain.

S: So many of my clients come to me frustrated about menopause weight—especially that stubborn 'menopause belly' that seems to appear overnight and refuses to budge. And I get it! It’s confusing because what worked in your 30s just doesn’t work the same way anymore.

C: The messaging in my mind was so judgemental! You are snacking too much. You should cycle longer, get your heart rate up!

S: Ok, first myth busting… let’s just shout this from the rooftops! Miidlife weight gain isn’t just about eating less and moving more—it’s about changing hormones and a shifting metabolism.

And here’s the why… As estrogen declines, fat storage patterns shift, and your body starts holding onto weight—especially around the midsection. At the same time, insulin sensitivity decreases, making blood sugar spikes (and crashes) more common, which fuels cravings and increased fat storage. Throw in higher cortisol from stress, which signals your body to store fat as “protection,” plus a natural decline in muscle mass, and suddenly… your metabolism is running at a completely different speed than it used to. I can’t wait to show you the metabolism facts in our next episode.

C: We have a great visual for you to help explain this next episode.

Beating myself up that I wasn’t exercising enough, or that I had to cut out all carbs, was definitely not the answer. I know this, not only because the research supports this, but because my own body was proving it!

S: But here’s the good news—you’re not stuck with it. Midlife weight gain isn’t inevitable. Once you understand how your hormones and metabolism are shifting, you can make small, strategic adjustments that work with your body instead of against it.

C: Let’s talk about those adjustments. I just want to highlight that making all the changes at once is counterproductive. Change is sustainable when it’s sequential and broken into manageable bites.

It means I needed to set some goals, be kinder to myself and find patience as my body and I figured out this stage of life. And Sharlene, this is what you do with your clients…. Create individualized plans, right?

S: I’ve worked with hundreds of women just like us.

One of the biggest shifts we can make to support your metabolism is prioritizing protein.

As we age, muscle mass naturally declines, which slows metabolism and makes it easier to store fat—especially around the midsection. Protein is key to preserving muscle, keeping your metabolism active, and preventing that stubborn weight gain.

It also stabilizes blood sugar, which helps reduce cravings, energy crashes, and the fat-storing effects of insulin spikes. And bonus—it keeps you fuller for longer, so you’re not constantly battling hunger.

So, what does this actually look like? It varies from person to person but 25–30 grams of protein per meal is a good general zone. That could be 3 eggs at breakfast, a piece of salmon or chicken at lunch, or a hearty lentil and veggie bowl at dinner. A bit of an advanced strategy is to make sure you get a variety of proteins in your diet. It’s easy to eat the same foods on rotation, yet our bodies need a variety of nutrients from various foods, specifically amino acids from proteins that our bodies can’t make on their own.

So, instead of focusing on eating less, start focusing on eating smarter. Fuel your body with enough protein, and you’ll naturally support your metabolism, energy, and hormones—without feeling deprived.

C: I had to be willing to take a fresh look at so many of my lifestyle habits. I did yoga daily, meditated, lots of hiking and biking. Achy joints caught me off guard. It made me nervous to move. That zumba class could put out my back, etc. As we lose muscle mass, we become more susceptible to injury. It’s a vicious circle. Then we really do get old.

You feel achy because estrogen acts as a regulating factor in nearly all types of musculoskeletal tissue, including bone, tendons, muscle, cartilage, ligaments, fascia, and even adipose tissue. The midlife drop in estrogen that begins in perimenopause is the catalyst for it all.

We need to understand that the musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause affects approximately 70 percent of us. Yet in 40 percent of women who suffer from it, no structural findings will manifest on x-rays, MRIs, or scans. Doctors might misdiagnose the syndrome as psychological or just tell you to get used to getting old.

You see the scale going up and the pressure to exercise more increases.

S: But if your joints are achy, exercising MORE isn’t fun. And it adds more things to your “to do” list that gives you enough stress as it is.

C; The big game changer for me was acknowledging that the stress of my life was hoarding the weight.

S: Oh, cortisol! If you’re dealing with stubborn midlife weight gain, stress might be playing a bigger role than you think.

Cortisol is your body’s main stress hormone, and when it’s running high—whether from work stress, poor sleep, skipping meals, or even over-exercising—your body goes into “survival mode.” That means holding onto fat, especially around your belly, and slowing down digestion because your body thinks it needs to conserve energy.

And here’s the kicker—even if you’re eating well, if your cortisol is too high, your body may not be digesting and absorbing nutrients properly. So instead of fueling your body, food can sit like a brick in your stomach, leading to bloating, sluggish digestion, and energy crashes.

C: Let’s admit it. Even yoga teachers, Sharlene and I both practice daily, have STRESS. Stress response isn’t inherently bad. It’s how I get up out of bed in the morning or how Sharlene and I got these videos organized. You’re not doing anything wrong if you have some stress. It’s the chronic, wearisome, “I have no control over this stress” that we’re talking about.

S: But there is good news. You can absolutely lower cortisol naturally. It takes some lifestyle shifts, but simple things—like eating balanced meals (instead of skipping or rushing through them), taking deep breaths before you eat, and actually allowing your body to slow down, like prioritizing sleep and rest—can make a huge difference.

C: Us goal oriented, kick ass women really need to start prioritizing our own comfort. This was a key point in my weight loss last year. Taking a deep dive into how to create a feeling of safety and kindness for myself.

Decades of making sure everyone else was happy and fed left me starving for a little nurturing. It was really tough to come up with a plan that celebrated my small wins and proved to my nervous system that I was a priority. Everything was about relaxing with a glass of wine or indulging in chocolate as a refuge from discomfort. Or retail therapy. None of which truly nourished my soul.

Resting is vital to weight loss. We’ll talk more about that in episode 4. So is investing in authentic, supportive relationships. This means boundary setting, asking for what we need and truly being present in the moment. This is episode 7 (maybe my favourite).

So Sharlene, if you had to just boil this down to a couple key points, what would be the new rules for midlife weight management?

S: It really comes down to a few key shifts that make all the difference in midlife.

First, balance your blood sugar. If your blood sugar is spiking and crashing all day, your body is constantly in fat-storage mode and contributing to even more physical stress.. So instead of skipping meals or grabbing quick carbs, focus on protein, fiber, and healthy fats at every meal to keep things steady.

C: A shout out here to mindful eating. We’ll talk more about that next session. Magic stuff.

S: Second, prioritize protein. We naturally lose muscle as we age, and that slows metabolism. Eating enough protein—about 25 to 30 grams per meal—helps preserve muscle, keeps you full, and supports fat loss. But eating protein isn’t enough on its own. We need to use that protein. Which leads to number 3…

Which is to focus on building muscle instead of burning calories. A lot of women try to out-cardio midlife weight gain, but too much cardio can actually backfire by raising cortisol and breaking down muscle. Strength training and walking are far better for metabolism and hormone balance and to put the protein to use.

C: Strength training for women is essential! You can get a great bone building workout done in about 20 minutes vs an hour on the treadmill. Look at the time you can save!

S: Fourth, support your nervous system. If your body is in a constant state of stress, high cortisol tells it to store fat—especially around the belly as well as increases cravings and impacts sleep, which when heal and cover leading to even more stress. uggh! Simple things like deep breathing, slowing down when you eat, and getting quality sleep make a massive difference.

C: Be sure to tune in to episode 5 to learn a lot more about sleep and weight loss.

S: Midlife weight management isn’t about eating less and moving more. And your body that’s not working the one it once did? It’s not broken—it’s always working for you. The key isn’t pushing it harder or getting frustrated with it, but understanding what it needs now and learning to work with it. When you do that, everything gets easier.

C: Sharlene, I so appreciate how you have researched and field tested this wisdom so thoroughly. I hope so many women watching this share this series with their friends. We can create a revolution!

S: I’m down for that! Tune in to our next episode when we dive a little deeper into metabolism. It’s not just calories in and calories out.

C: In the meantime, you can find more resources on either of our websites, www.purenaturalhealth.ca or www.cherylgordonyt.com

S: For now, check out the links in the show notes to access my FREE five day hormone balancing meal plan to get started.

C: Please subscribe to this substack so you don’t miss any episodes. Comment to let us know how your empress journey is unfolding and whether these topics affect you too.

Looking for some direction on how to begin your yoga journey? Click here for a FREE Essential Guide to Yoga for Women over 50.

Contact Heather through her website. Order the 100 Days of Care Workbook.

C: Welcome to episode number 12 of the Midlife Reset podcast. I am thrilled you're here. Today, you're going to meet a woman who is totally tuned into her heart vibration and made a wholesale shift midlife to follow her dream. So, please welcome Heather Fenton, from Gently Down the Stream Yoga, in beautiful lakeside, Port Colborne, Ontario. So, welcome Heather, tell us a little about yourself.

H: Hi Cheryl, that's a, that's a big open question to start with. I'm sitting here in uh, our studio space. I could start with that. Locate myself in space and time, so again, I'm happy to be here to chat with you.

C: Oh, wonderful. And Heather, the reason I really wanted to get you on the podcast was because I love what you do at the hut, and you're sitting in the hut right now. And I want to talk more about that. But it's the tuning into your heart vibration that led you to create that beautiful yoga space. So, let's give some context as to how that decision came about.

H: Yeah, well, it was really a function of just doing the next right thing, you know, day after day, showing up for life and uh, I mean that's got a backstory of its own, going to train in meditation and mindfulness, but eventually my life led me down here to Niagara. I met my husband, Michael. Um, and and moved down here and we shared a dream to live in the country, to live quietly in the country. And I always had the wish to create a retreat retreat space, a space where people could come and practice meditation. And it just it started to fall into place. Kind of like, you know, it I didn't do it. It did itself, you know? I just showed up and made the decisions one by one. Does that make sense?

C: That's cool. That's cool. And so Heather, you were living as a Buddhist nun, a renunciate, if you will, right? At one point?

H: I was, yeah, in my thirties I uh packed everything up into about two suitcases, got rid of my job and my apartment and went looking for peace and truth. And that led me to living in Dharma centers. Um, and a Dharma center is a retreat, right? It's a type of, it is, it's sort of a modern monastery. So um, here in the West, we don't have these great big institutions like came up in the east and so people will just live communally and practice together and yeah.

C: Wow. And then as you were living that life, a little whisper came into your heart, I guess, about maybe doing something quite different really, going from being like basically a Buddhist nun to meeting your husband and having a daughter.

H: Yeah. Yeah, and there was a gap there of of maybe four or five years before I met Mike. Uh, and it was less of a whisper in the heart and more of a uh, finally, like a a kind of shouting internally, like a finally coming to admit that what I really wanted was a conventional life, and that part of my renunciation was actually um, a hiding. I wanted to hide away from from uh, you know, what is difficult? It's difficult to be married. It's difficult to be in relationship with people. And for me, you know, kind of tucking away and meditating for long periods was a way to avoid having to get my heart broken or break other people's hearts. And uh, yeah, so I had to start listening.

C: I want to come back to that. I want to come back to that in just a second. But before I forget, can we talk for a second about the four or five year gap there? Because that must not have been a very easy time.

H: Oh, but it was very, it was, you're right. It was one of the more difficult, challenging times in my life, but uh it was it was the path that needed to be taken, you know? On the one hand it was challenging, you know, I put myself out there, started meeting people, came back into ordinary life. Uh, on the other hand it was easy because finally after years of sort of following, you know, training and looking to others, I was following my heart instead. I was following what actually lit me up, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And that's really scary, right?

C: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so I want to circle back to what you were talking about of, of being in in the, in the spiritual life as a renunciate, and that was a way of hiding a little bit from some of the scarier things in the great big bad world out there. Do you, do you think that that's a form of spiritual bypass?

H: Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I, I mean, I think uh, just because I stepped out of that life, I didn't finally abandon spiritual bypassing. I think it's something that shows up again and again, you know? We really were kind of wired that way. We don't want discomfort, we seek comfort. And uh, yeah, so I think it's easy to to look everywhere but straight ahead at the truth of things. Yeah.

C: And it takes a lot of courage to do that. One of the things I I've been trying to talk about on the podcast. We've been talking about all different kinds of things about weight loss and osteoporosis and all this different kinds of stuff. But one of the things that I wanted to encourage women to do in their midlife is step into the truth and really face what's going on. Because we might not be spiritually bypassing by going to an ashram for yogis or to a Dharma center for a Buddhist, but we can do a lot of bypassing with a good bottle of wine. Yeah. And and you know, like planning travel, obsessively planning travel so that you're on one trip and you're already planning your next. You know what I mean?

H: Yeah. Yeah. And shopping and Netflix and yeah, gossiping. Gossiping.

C: I'm guilty. I'm working so hard on watching the language that comes out of my mouth because, hey, who doesn't like a good bit of juicy gossip, right? Yeah.

H: Yeah. It captivates us. But it is a way, as as you're saying, it's a way to kind of distracting ourselves from our own discomfort or our own existential angst, which is in our culture, we're really not very good at being uncomfortable for a while.

C: I lost some weight last year and one of the things that I've really been working on is feeling my feelings. And sometimes I woke up this morning, I was crabby. So, I just, instead of like immediately pretending I'm not, I kind of journaled about it. I kind of told my walking buddy this morning, "Yeah, I'm having a crabby day." And she was all worried. "Oh, you're crabby, I must fix it for you right now."

H: It's true. We do that. We don't like our own discomfort and we don't like when other people are uncomfortable. And that's really a way that I continuously frame the path for myself is and many teachers frame it the same way, is like becoming comfortable with discomfort. Uh, sometimes you hear this facing uncertainty, you know, like being willing to open to what is instead of what we wish things to be.

C: So, it takes courage. It takes some steadiness, yeah. And a good practice, a good foundational practice. I think yoga is, is my foundation. . Which includes, you know, meditation and mindfulness.

H: Yeah, it's something that I have been exploring in recent years. Most recently with a course that we're doing here in the hut called Yoga for Life, where we're looking at daily ritual practices that we can undertake. So, and I think of it in terms of like children, like toddlers and young children, they thrive on routine. That's that you've heard that saying, right? Well, it's just true of all of us. We the structure gives us the space in which we can relax and and be creative. Like the freedom is actually found in the discipline.

C: It sounds like an oxymoron, but if you understand the nervous system, which I'm always ranting and raving about, it makes perfect sense. The nervous system appreciates rhythmic living. It calms the the vigilance in the background so that more creativity emerges. Yes, familiarity keeps the stress levels down. And and speaking of kids, how old is your baby now?

H: She is five and a half.

C: I remember coming to visit you before the hut was even built. You were very pregnant. And we were trying some restorative poses in an effort to kind of help you find some comfort. And then right after that, the pandemic and all the shutdowns hit. So, you were a new mom, you were launching a new business, trying to get that place built. That must have been something.

H: It was quite something. And I will just point out, because it's for me, it's one of the most exciting parts of my life story, is that I was 49 when I was pregnant. I had Harper quite late in life. And it was something that I had thought as a renunciate for many years, celibate, that I would never have children of my own. And so, this was this amazing blessing. And then at the in the same year, we decided to build the hut. So, and then coming into motherhood, which any mother will tell you is a wild ride, and then the pandemic hit. So, it was a very busy time.

C: One of the things with new motherhood is the isolation and then you have the pandemic enforcing isolation on you. Thank goodness you had such a wonderful grounding in practice. Can I talk to you a little bit about like how the hut has developed? So, now you have this beautiful practice space. You host regular weekly classes there, as well as workshops, right?

H: We're located a little bit rural. Like we're in a rural setting. It's a farm across the street. It's quite beautiful. We've got 10 acres here, so it has a feeling like a retreat center, but we're just three kilometers from the canal here in in Port Colborne. And so, people come for weekly classes. We still have enough of a base to do a regular series of classes. And then the pandemic kind of got in the way because our my main passion is the silent retreat and doing some um, more intense practice, which you we could do classes online, but we couldn't really recreate that retreat experience, being in community and silence. And so, that's now hitting its stride. Now that we're a few years out of the pandemic, I'm really enjoying developing that piece of the stream project.

C: I have never done a silent retreat, Heather. You might find that hard to believe. But I realize I I do get it and I think it's it's got to be on my list to do.

H: Oh, I think so, yeah. Because I think we can and it's like everything, we can understand it intellectually, but until we've immersed ourselves in it, we don't understand the fullness of the benefits.

C: It's one of those things I'm scared of being uncomfortable. So, definitely a personal growth opportunity waiting for me there. And one of the things that I've really enjoyed that you've come up with in the last little while is your book project. I participated last fall in your 100 Days of Care. Tell us about that.

H: Yeah, that was lovely to see when you joined and to have you coming in on the calls. Um, the book, I'm just going to hold it up here. Is that okay?

C: Give us a visual.

H: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. So, 100 Days of Care. It's the the first book that I've written and it it technically, I'd say it's a handbook or a workbook. A workbook. And so, it's a daily living retreat workbook. So the idea and my general passion is to get people practicing a little bit every day. And you know, it's a reflection of what I want for myself, is to create retreat experience in my daily life. That sense of calm and centered and, you know, uh, mindful. And so, the 100 Days of Care is uh, 100 days commitment, each day checking in, but it's a very small commitment. So, the you know, each day the you're required to to write out a personal mantra of loving kindness. That's the minimum involvement. And from there, there's sort of opportunities to expand that, to do a little bit more if you like, and to tie it in with other things you're already doing, which is a, you know, a well-known hack for creating new habits is to partner them with things you're already doing. Yeah. So, adding mindfulness uh, well, for example, for myself, my morning coffee is involved in my morning meditation practice, right? Because one, I won't skip, don't skip. Yeah? So, it cues me into the other.

C: I have post-it notes all over. Yes, to remind me. Because of the little, like you say, if you break your your structure or your framework for your practice into little bits throughout the day, it creates that lovely rhythm to your day that your nervous system can acclimate and tune to and. Yes. And count on. But you do need the reminders. Otherwise, your crazy, cuckoo mind will sweep you away. But getting back to 100 Days of Care, you also have the weekly calls that are by donation. So they're very accessible for people. And that for last fall, they were on Wednesday nights. I don't know what they are coming up.

H: Well right now, we don't have any current live support. The next planned live cohort where you can, so you could do the book and the program on your own at home, no problem. And then I think in September, we'll do another series where it's um, supported by these free weekly call in Zoom where you could come here in person if you're local. Uh, and there's a website associated with the book that has all of the um, materials for the three times now we've done the program. So the book came as a result of doing the program two times through as a community here at Stream. And then I wrote it as a sort of physical manual that people could connect with. And uh, yeah, so we'll do it again in the fall if there's people who are interested and want that support.

C: And if there's somebody that that is interested in starting and it's not September yet, you have a Facebook group as well, right?

H: We do. It's it's pretty quiet these days, but you're welcome to join in there and and start a conversation,

C: But you would monitor that. So, if someone has questions for you that you they could they could access your wisdom through the Facebook group.

H: The book is available on Amazon. I'm also exploring moving into one-on-one mentoring. So if people are looking for someone to help them with their meditation practice, you know, I teach the group classes in various settings here in and around Niagara, but I'm also, you could reach out if you have an interest in in connecting one on one.

C: That's awesome to know, because a lot of people really do appreciate, you know, the privacy or the customization that can come with one-on-one coaching. That's amazing. Heather, it's been amazing connecting with you again. I'm going to have to drive out to Port Colborne and and have a visit.

H: I would love to see you. You'll well soon it'll be the season for riding your bike along the friendship trail. I know that was a passion of yours.

C:. So, thank you Heather for taking the time today. It's been amazing. We will put Heather's contact information in the show notes. So she has a website, she has the 100 Days of Care website and we'll put all of that in the show notes. And maybe you'll have a chance to catch a class. Because you do, most of your classes are online as well as you have a hybrid option for a lot of your classes, right?

H: We do. That was one of the great benefits coming out of the pandemic was when we pivoted online, we never stopped offering online. So, almost everything we do, you can attend from anywhere in the world.

C: Because we do have listeners across North America. I can say that. Isn't that something? Namaste, Heather.

H: Namaste. Thank you, Cheryl.

C: Today on the Midlife Reset podcast, which is episode 11, by the way, you are going to finally get the answers you need about your hormones.

I am thrilled to welcome Dr. Laura Imola, naturopathic doctor and passionate advocate for women's health.

Getting this essential information out to women is a big focus of our work.

So Laura, can you tell me a little bit about your practice as a naturopathic doctor? Where are you located? How long have you been there?

L: I'm in Niagara Falls at Wynn Health Performance Center. I started practice in 2003, so I'm in practice over 20 years now. I can't believe it. It feels like a blank. The clinic is a multidisciplinary setting. I'm a co-owner with my husband, Ernie. He's a chiropractor. But we've been really on this path to help the community, help improve people's health. And contribute in some way to create a healthier community.

And the majority of my practice, I do see a lot of women. So this has been a passion of mine as I realized that women really thrive when they.have knowledge and they have options and so that they can advocate for their health. So that's really been a foundation to the work that I do.

C: And tell me a little bit about, in case we have listeners from different countries, a naturopathic doctor in Ontario trains basic university and then how many years?

L: We have pretty rigorous training. We're regulated health providers in Ontario. I did complete my Bachelor of Science at the University of Western Ontario, which I'm a scientist by nature, and then dove into naturopathic medicine at the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine in Toronto, and it's a four-year program. So four year full time program and there's licensing exams that are written for every graduate to be able to practice in Ontario and so yeah that was many years ago.

I still have students come in the preceptor with me because I do enjoy again the element of health education. And supporting students, because I remember what it was like then. And so, yeah, this is how naturopaths come to be in the health care spectrum.

And that's, you know, the differences is that although we do get a tremendous amount of medical training to understand health conditions, medications, we have to be able to navigate what to recommend to a person based on what their health history might be. Their lifestyle, like all of these different elements of their health, of course, without interfering with what other healthcare providers might be providing for them, like the medical doctor, so very respectful of that, but then still offering, and the difference being that we're going to offer natural support to them using many different types of therapies that we have a very in-depth knowledge on how to use as well in a therapeutic sense.

C: And that's why I'm so excited that you're here, Dr. Laura, because you can hear from her training that when you tell us something, this is science-based, it's evidence-based,and you've been trialing this in your own practice for over 20 years.

So I'm really excited.  Let's dive in.

This is a huge subject, hormones, midlife women. And Dr. Laura, one of the biggest areas I think you can help us understand is the role of hormones in our midlife journey.

We always hear that the changes start in perimenopause, but let's talk about what that actually feels like.

Even though I'm a yoga therapist and I say a million times a day to my students, listen to your body, I didn't even really realize I was in perimenopause. I mean, I can read the calendar. Is that common?

L: It is. And I think that now because there's much more awareness around perimenopause, more women are attuning to their body and understanding that this isn't my typical, I'm noticing this shift and it's been going on for three months, for six months or for a year and something just doesn't feel right.

So although I do have a lot of women still asking me questions like, could this be perimenopause? And coming to differentiate that, there's a lot more information, thankfully. In the last two or three years, it's actually even over the last year, we've seen such a wider, diverse amount of platforms speaking to perimenopause.

Some of the symptoms are sleepless nights, some warmth and some body temperature changes, maybe not full on hot sweats or night flashes, but they can have hot flashes and night sweats. They can happen, but to different degrees. And then also changes in libido. So women often will start talking with me about how they have a decreased desire to have sex. So these are the combination of symptoms that women start to experience.

C: And of all of them, I can speak to the heavy bleeding, you know, having accidents out in public, all that kind of stuff. I did go to my medical doctor and the the solution they offered was the Mirena, which is like an IUD. It's a birth control product. And because I was someone who really tries to handle my health naturally, I was kind of turned off of the birth control options. So what kinds of things can you offer to your patients, Dr. Laura?

L: So There are options that can help increase progesterone levels that are natural. There are options that help to stabilize estrogen and progesterone. So I often will use things like herbs. Sometimes acupuncture depends on what the symptom picture is. We look at nutrition. I've even seen things like supporting a woman's nutrition quality can help stabilize hormone balance.

So it depends. And we can be very specific on what it might be, but it always is individualized to the woman.

C: It would start with blood work and then probably you would talk to her about her lifestyle because I'm sure stress factors into this quite a bit, right?

L: but then also talk about things like what's your health history like, like what's happening with all the different systems in your body, because all of the systems are connected. So even we're going to, I'm sure talk about this, but the connection of stress, the connection of digestion, you know, what's happening in sleep, like all of these different components can start to change hormone levels.

C: One of the things that happens for me, it happened to me in my 30s, and I don't think this is so unusual, is that's when thyroid starts to act up. So the role of thyroid metabolism is so important, isn't it?

L: Is this really a thyroid issue? Because we wouldn't be able to know until that type of test is done. And there are different reasons why thyroid starts to become the flag of things starting to change hormonally in the body.

And usually has a lot to do with stress.

C: Which connects us into the discussion of the action of the adrenal glands, right?

L: Yes. Yes, it's the root of, I feel, many hormone disruptions.

C: So talk about adrenal fatigue.

L: The adrenal glands, they sit on top of the kidneys. They're part of the glandular system. So the thyroid, the pancreas, the ovaries, the pituitary, like this is the glandular system. And we're getting, thankfully, way more awareness in, the last couple of years around cortisol.

And the cortisol comes from our adrenal glands. And cortisol is a necessary hormone, we need cortisol to mobilize us, but persistent cortisol secretion too high and too much overactivity of the adrenals can lead to a dysregulated pattern of adrenal function and secretion of the of the hormone cortisol, among other things to even adrenaline is part of that.

But that's the adrenal fatigue part is that this dysregulation starts to begin if it's been chronic, a chronic stress sort of experience for a person. Very common with women who multitask and are caregivers and very much feel a sense of responsibility in this role of duty.

So the ongoing stress by the time you're in your thirties and oftentimes even early forties, these are the symptoms that we start to feel like this tiredness that can be often linked to the adrenals.

But secondarily, this cortisol is a big disruptor for what's happening in the brain at the pituitary level.

The pituitary is the very first spot that our female hormones start to get the signal to be secreted. It can disrupt the ovaries. The cortisol can disrupt the thyroid.

So it's, and it can cause changes also in inflammation. So this is, I feel the root typically we want to, if we think physiologically, oftentimes in the body, it's the adrenal glands.

And then we think about, well, what is influencing the stress levels in a woman's life? Like that's the deeper root.

C: And let's be honest, it's inherent that you're going to have high stress levels in the 21st century. Right, because this is how our society runs, especially in North America.

L: So this is where it becomes interesting that, you know, I believe that there's more awareness around this, as you probably seem to share with yoga, mindfulness. More understanding about somatic exercise and movement and how that helps to regulate the nervous system,especially like engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which we need to engage to rest and relax.

So thankfully, there's this awareness like this is not sustainable, like our pace is not healthy. So finding little ways to take care of oneself. And this is, again, a message I think is getting to be a bit stronger and understanding that You know, we need to take care of ourselves in the everyday busyness to find moments to do that.

C: I so appreciate your medical opinion, Dr. Laura, about how essential rest is. Because so much of the work that I do, you're right, is around building in that therapeutic rest throughout the day, actually. I call them mindfulness snacks. So three to five minutes. And it just kind of gives the adrenals a chance to like reset.

For me, it was the thirties and forties is when the thyroid started to go out, but I still didn't clue into that, to the adrenal fatigue. Now that's going to play havoc with my hormones. And then perimenopause hits. I have the super heavy breathing, bleeding. I have this sleeplessness. I don't, really clue into what's really going on.

Now I hit menopause a little late in the game. I was in my late fifties. I hit the actual menopause break that helped that came at the beginning of COVID. So it, you know, the isolation of the shutdowns and all that added to my stress. So even though I was doing the yoga and I was doing the mindfulness and I was eating as healthy as I knew how, I needed to have a different prescription.

I needed a nervous system shakeup. So I would encourage our viewers and our listeners to reach out for expert help a little earlier in the game. I waited until the symptoms were just so severe that really I could hardly function. I allowed life to shake me up instead of being in the driver's seat where I should have been.

Do you see that with a lot of women? They have trouble asking for help or reaching out?

L: Yes, yes. Again, it's really part of trying to do as much as possible independently and a bit isolated in that. Very challenging to admit that a woman needs help and men too, like this is very human to feel that maybe they're not really sure who to ask or what to ask, or should they even be putting this focus on themselves?

Because, you know, again, there's so many distractions.

C: And you feel self-centered or, you know, conceited, all these different kinds of things.

But the adrenal fatigue is real and it does set off this cascade of hormones that over the decades gets harder and harder, you know, to kind of schlep around.

So we've heard that the adrenals produce cortisol, but what about their role in serotonin production?

L: So with the serotonin piece, you know, serotonin is created in a few different places. So even like, of course, in the brain. And so if the stress hormones are interfering with the brain, the nervous system function, it can affect serotonin levels there and also in the gut.

So serotonin also is produced in the gut because the gut is our second brain. Like we have as many nerve endings in the gut as we have in the spinal cord.

So there is a connection there And things that we can do to help promote, well, not only serotonin insura, but also, you know, dopamine, endorphins. Like these are, I see them as a complement of feeling good. We do need to protect our ability to create those things.

And that's through these mindfulness snacks can help. with the complement of things like endorphins and serotonin and dopamine together can make a big difference. Movement, walking, you know, anything. There's so many things we can do to help improve the whole complement of those feel-good hormones

C: Because you were mentioning so many nerve endings in the gut rather than the spinal cord, and that's where a lot of our autonomic nervous system that governs the parasympathetic nervous system, that's where a lot of that messaging is coming from, from the gut up to the brain, right?

L: That's right.

C: And we all try to eat healthy. But as stress levels get more and more stubborn to shift, I know that I sought comfort in food. You know, you've had a you've had a long day and maybe it's been a great day. Maybe you've been out shopping with friends or you've been whatever. But at the end of the day, you're feeling that stress load because it is stressful being out shopping with friends, even though it's fun and your system just needs needs some comfort.

So I would reach for, you know, some comfort foods. You know, sometimes it's carbohydrates. Sometimes it's, you know, something salty and fatty. I used to celebrate good times and numb out and tough times.

L: I'm with you, Cheryl. I mean, we're all human. We all have those moments. I love chocolate and I love, you know, having something like that, like a little salty and crunchy. I mean, my goodness, like, like you're, you're definitely on the same wavelength as I would have.

And especially if we are tired, you know, and there's not a lot of time to prepare a meal. And I've talked to so many women. who find themselves in these situations.

And so I just see a lot of, I have a lot of compassion in these moments because I do realize, again, a very human, very like real reality based experience for so many women.

And so I see nutrition as a work in progress, like, you know, just to, if we can do away with some of that judgment or even like, you know, has to be a certain way, but bring more compassion and realize that I always tell everybody I work with, like nutrition is a work in progress.

It's like making these little adjustments over time. You may fall off. I fall off, you know, and then we get back on the path and we try again.

So, and we learn things and sometimes even, in this life path, even with nutrition, you know, maybe something you were ready for now, you weren't ready for before with nutrition.

So it's about alignment too. So I'm very much mindful about that and just keeping the encouragement going and like whatever support people need in their nutrition.

So that's what I would share with you too, Cheryl. You probably are in a different place now than you were two or three years ago, even with your nutrition.

C: I've learned a lot in the last couple of years, but Dr. Laura, it's so nice, so reassuring to hear that if we come to see you, like we're still gonna be able to have maybe some chocolate once in a while. You're not gonna take away all of our comfort at once because you and I both understand that changes are best tackled in these tiny bites.

That glorious nervous system we've been talking about will fight tooth and nail to keep things the same that it already knows. If things stay the same, the nervous system knows what to expect and not too much effort needs to be expended. If we keep things the same, we can be very efficient with our energy.

So really trying to change, like throwing out carbohydrates or trying to be perfect with your diet is actually causing you stress, right?

L: I am really, truly mindful of this. So speaking of a mindfulness practice in my own work, And a humanistic practice because, you know, there's this, which is very much realistic. It's very much about meeting people where they're at. It's acknowledging that this is a work in progress. It's small steps because I find the stepping stones are often a lot more sustainable over time. And it's also identifying that sometimes these extreme changes in diet, they can create a lot of pressure for people.

They can create a lot of stress and there's counter wills. You know, you don't want me to eat that. Well, you know, give it a few weeks and you know, that's going to come on full force.

So it's really that delicate balance. Of course, I work with people who may have food allergies. And these are other contexts that we navigate. Even in those situations, I'm very mindful about like, telling people to completely cut things out. You know, again, it's by person to person relates to what's happening.

But yeah, I'm with you, Cheryl, like, small, small, achievable things, tiny steps and a lot of compassion.

Because we're learning as we're doing things. And even when we fall off track, like we learn something every time.

So we just use that as a source of like moving ourselves forward rather than getting stuck in the judgment or stopping ourselves in our tracks.

Let's just like take a deep breath. It's a bit awkward, kind of like a yoga posture that you're not comfortable in, right?

C: And you don't have to hold a yoga posture if it's genuinely not right for you.

Let's just kind of move on to actual menopause transition. There are natural supports.

Now, full disclosure, I went through a number of options naturally and made the decision with my doctor and after researching carefully to go on pharmaceutical hormone therapy for menopause. But there's a ton of things that you can do before you make that decision just to see if your body reacts well to these different natural approaches, right?

L: Cheryl, there's a place for all of the treatments. You know, every woman is so different. Every person's health history, background, and current health is so different.

So, yeah, although, you know, there are lots of natural options, but we have to always see how does it change quality of life for a given woman?

So it's okay.

C: So the hot flashes were really crazy for me. They were making the sleeplessness from perimenopause even worse. And once you don't sleep, then you really can't function.

So getting support with all of that, talking to somebody who really understands what's happening and giving you permission to do what's right for your body. This has been an amazing conversation.

I know I've learned a lot, Dr. Laura. Thank you

Now, we're going to include the booking address in the show notes in case anybody wants to follow up with you and ask more personalized questions.

Are there any other resources that you would like included in the show notes, Dr. Laura,

L: We have our Win health clinic Instagram, which is a variety of different things we do here at the clinic. And oftentimes between the two, there's some really great health resources. We'll post blog posts on the clinic Instagram page. So that's links back to our website.

And there's a number of different articles that have been written. And many of them are naturopathic based, like either for myself or my colleagues. So we give a lot of resources through our website that are free. So you can find a bunch of stuff there for sure.

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And thank you so much, Dr. Laura, for taking time because I know you're busy and us offering this to our community.

Namaste.

C: Welcome!  This is the Midlife Reset podcast, episode number 10!  I’m Cheryl Gordon.  I am dedicated to educating midlife women about sleeping better, losing weight and feeling stronger.  

Now here’s an embarrassing question.  Do you pee when you sneeze?  Do you avoid jumping or running for that same reason?  Do you spend way too much time in bathrooms in your life?  I totally get it!  My incontinence, which nobody knew about by the way, was affecting my life.  I stopped going for walks with friends because I was embarrassed how often I had to squat behind bushes!  

Sound familiar?  I am excited to share with you today that many of those issues have faded a lot due to the wonderful woman you are about to meet.  This is my pelvic floor physiotherapist, Marie-Eve Knackers!

M: Hello!  This is awesome to be here and spread the word.

C: We have so much to talk about.  Getting fed up with the pee thing happened in 2019.  I was at a yoga conference with a much older colleague.  I offered her the room closest to the bathroom because I figured she’d have to get up to pee more than me.  She declined by saying, “I just tell my bladder it’s not time”.  Yeah right!  But it got me to thinking.  Maybe this wasn’t a given that I had to pee constantly.  I asked around for recommendations and Marie Eve was my girl.

Get the complete one hour class FREE here.

We think of our bones as solid structures. They hold us up! But in reality, bone tissue is some of the most dynamic in the body. It’s changing all the time.

As we age, hormonal and other lifestyle changes can cause our bones to change in less than healthy ways. Our bones can become more porous as in the case of osteoporosis. We often don’t have any outward symptoms. Until there is some weird, unexplained pain and the X-rays reveal a fracture. Then the fear of God is dumped on us. Don’t move this way! Don’t do this or you’ll snap in two!

In other cases, our medical team is alert and orders a bone scan. Then the risk of osteoporosis shows up. Again, the fear is around taking medication and other techniques to try and preserve what bone we have.

All in all, it’s a lot of scary stuff. This workshop is about addressing that fear. This is your greatest enemy… not your diagnosis.

Movement is ABSOLUTELY essential to maintaining your wellness. This is true for every body but especially true when your body has a diagnosis.

How Yoga Contributes to Stronger Bones

Many of my clients have had well meaning clinicians advise against yoga. With all due respect, my expertise is in guiding movement. I have to know what is safe and what isn’t for my clients. Other clinicians may have an area of expertise in reading the scans or knowing the pharmaceutical options. They may not have 20 years + of experience almost exclusively guiding movement.

Yoga is amazing practice for those with osteopenia and osteoarthritis. The practices may look a little different from what’s in the magazines but the main benefit that yoga has over all other forms of exercise is the mindfulness. Staying focused and present with your current activity builds balance. It’s not the porous bones that kill you… it’s the fall.

Yoga is also weight bearing. It focuses a lot of attention on the core, breathing and supporting the spine.

Understanding Bone Health

Bones are living tissues that constantly undergo a process of breakdown and rebuilding. They provide structural support, protect vital organs, and store essential minerals such as calcium and phosphorus. Bone density refers to the strength and compactness of bones, which naturally decreases with age if not properly maintained.

Osteopenia is the early stage of bone density loss, where bones become weaker but are not yet fragile enough to break easily. Osteoporosis is a more advanced condition in which bones become porous, brittle, and more prone to fractures, especially in the spine, hips, and wrists.

Bone loss can be influenced by multiple factors, including aging, hormonal changes (such as menopause-related estrogen decline), inadequate calcium and vitamin D intake, lack of weight-bearing exercise, smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and certain medical conditions or medications that affect bone metabolism. These include corticosteroids (e.g., prednisone), which can reduce bone formation; certain anticonvulsants, which affect vitamin D metabolism; proton pump inhibitors (PPIs) that interfere with calcium absorption; and some antidepressants and thyroid medications that can impact bone density over time.

Benefits of Yoga for Bone Health

* Improves balance and coordination to prevent falls. As mentioned earlier, the key factor here is the concentration and mindfulness required for poses. Yoga is the opposite of multi tasking! The brain will think what it’s been trained to think. In the practice, you train the brain to really sense where your body is in space and time (proprioception). It becomes habitual. You don’t have to really think about where to step on that icy step or how to catch yourself if you do trip. Your brain has been practising this during your poses.

* Enhances posture and alignment - another thing you practice in poses, especially when they are executed mindfully, is how to stack the bones in the most efficient way. Take Mountain Pose. It’s not just standing around. It’s consciously sensing how the hips align over the legs and where the weight is in the feet and how the shoulders settle above the pelvis, etc. This also builds proprioception.

* Strengthens muscles that support bones - skillful execution of asana means engaging muscles in specific and novel ways. Does your teacher ever say things like “wrap the muscle around the bone” or “feel the gluteus muscles contract”? These kind of cues build awareness of how to activate muscles for pure movement. It’s not just flinging dumb bells around (which is great exercise too - if done mindfully). When muscles contract, they pull on the bone tissue which stimulates growth. Paying attention as that contraction affects the bone makes it all the more powerful. The same exercise done the same way all the time loses its effectiveness over time.

* Promotes flexibility without strain - fluid movement is confident movement. Yoga stretches should be kind of boring. Stretches that create strong sensation, big dramatic effect, may be over doing the work on the connective tissue. This can lead to joint instability. The key to safe yoga, especially as we age, is to discern exactly where the sweet spot is in any given movement. Goldilocks type movement. It’s just right.

Safety Guidelines for Yoga and Bone Health

* A little bit of impact can be quite helpful to stimulate bone growth. This would be like the common pressure from walking or even a little hop. So you can still do the common Sun Salute A with a jump through for example, if that’s in your practice already.

* Avoid binds. When using a strap, allow lots of room. It’s better to come into twists and forward folds just using your muscles on their own rather than pulling to reach something.

* Focusing on slow, controlled movements. This allows lots of time for the brain to process the full impact of the movement. A slower pace aids proprioception.

* Using props for support. The biggest set of postures that, I feel, absolutely must use props are seated. For example, the simple seated twist must be done with a vertically aligned spine. Hip joints MUST be higher than knees for the pelvis to provide a stable base for the spine. This often means a chair but sometimes a block or blanket might do. A good rule is to maintain neutral spine as often as possible in postures. Most forward folds will require modification.

* Move into the practice with curiosity and confidence. Every time you hit the mat, it’s a new day. It’s natural for the poses to evolve and change as we do. It doesn’t have to mean that we’re old or weak. I like to think of this time in my life as my wisdom years. And I get to be the biggest beneficiary of my repository of knowledge. In other words, get over it and just be yoga.

Best Yoga Poses for Bone Strength

* Most standing poses (ie Warrior II) strengthen legs and hips. Avoid variations that ask you to join hands behind the head or back. If there is leaning forward in a pose, such as pyramid pose, only go as far as you can maintain neutral spine. Use a chair seat or blocks instead of aiming for the floor.

* Balance poses, like Tree Pose challenge your concentration and improve proprioception. They build confidence. After all, each walking step involves balancing on one leg. Keep a chair handy just in case you do wobble a bit too much that day.

* Spinal extension postures like Bridge Pose, Camel, Cobra, Locust and Bow can be helpful to strengthen spinal and hip muscles. Again, avoid clasping hands and use a strap in Bow to connect hands and feet so there’s lots of ease.

* Forward bending is a group of postures that is commonly in the avoid category. Caution is necessary but the functional movement is part of our lives. The main caveat is to forward fold without load on the spine. For example, cat/cow done slowly with breath is ok. Angling the body forward in pyramid, as mentioned earlier, is ok as long as you maintain neutral spine and use props. Child’s pose with arms extended out front and support under the head is preferred compared to the traditional version where the spine is flexed.

* Twists are safe if one maintains a vertical spine. I like standing twists where the arms move freely. Seated twists are best done with a chair in most cases. Focus on using the oblique muscles to execute the twist to build core strength.

Poses to Avoid

* Deep forward bends and twists where you are trying to achieve a certain shape or have expectations can be dangerous. These movements are natural in life but do the poses gently with lots of kindness.

* High-impact aerobic style movements are contraindicated. A little bit of bounce (ie seated in chair and lightly stomping your feet on the floor) can actually be helpful.

* Extreme backbends especially if you are trying to clasp hands or reach feet. When extending the spine, you’re looking for a gentle, even curve the whole length. The pose should ALWAYS be easeful and soft in which to breathe.

* Poses that put excessive pressure on wrists or spine. Down dog is accessible but many people will find better freedom in the pose by using a chair. Many other postures, like plank, can be done on forearms. Using blocks under the forearms in poses like table are also freeing.

* It’s not necessary to takes arms above the head in chair pose or warrior 1 for example. Explore modifying poses by placing hands in prayer or cactus arms.

* Standard Shoulder Stand is out. Way too much pressure on the cervical spine. Try Viparita Karani instead. Headstand on forearms may be appropriate if alignment is meticulous and you are very experienced with the posture. Using a wall for inversions may prevent falls.

Incorporating Yoga into Daily Life

* Practice regularly with consistency. Remember the brain is learning while you are doing, or not doing, your activities. We learn best with repetition. Regular practice builds proprioception.

* Strength training can complement your yoga practice. I lift weights focusing on my breath and with mindfulness. Yoga postures are weight bearing especially planks, bird dog, warrior poses, bridge and locust.

* Consulting a healthcare professional to build the best diet for you. It’s not just about piling on calcium. It’s worth investing in a registered dietitian or naturopath to get customized recommendations.

* Commit to the full practice of yoga incorporating daily relaxation (such as restorative yoga) and meditation. Use mindfulness tools like the 3 minute breathing space and journaling to manage overall stress levels.

Summary of key points

* Movement is ESSENTIAL to living a full, strong life. Allowing the fear around your diagnosis is the fastest path to limiting your longevity. Have confidence in your natural intuition and wisdom. You are the world’s expert in your body. Build a kind, attentive relationship with your body’s sensations. This is the best path forward.

* Yoga is safe but you need to broaden your practice to include using props, moving more mindfully and rooting out any outdated expectations of your poses.

Try this complete yoga practice to get you started.

Find more resources at www.cherylgordonyt.com

Sign up for my newsletter to learn of new resources right away.

C: Blow my mind! Here we are at the last of our 8 part series on blasting that midlife belly. I’m Cheryl Gordon. I help midlife women sleep better, feel stronger and lose weight using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

S: I’m Sharlene Styles, certified holistic nutritionist, life coach and metabolism mechanic.

C: We have delivered some essential info for women our age as we struggle with midlife metabolism melt down. But we have not discussed any diet. That’s because diet trauma is what is probably responsible, in part, for holding on to your weight!

S: What I want to SHOUT from the rooftops is—stop the craziness! Break free from the matrix of diet culture. You do not have to starve yourself, cut out carbs, or muster up superhuman willpower just to watch the scale move. That’s outdated. That’s harmful. And it doesn’t work long-term.

What we’re talking about here is eating smarter, not smaller. Nourishing your body in a way that feels doable—not punishing. That’s how you create sustainable weight loss while still living your real life, enjoying food, and ditching the guil

C: I lost 25 pounds last year doing just this. I called it mindful eating and there are lots of free resources on my website to explain the how to’s. And we will have another deeper dive course coming soon.

S: Yes! And part of that is knowing the biggest food mistakes women are making—not because they’re doing it 'wrong', but because they’ve been misled. Once you get the truth? It’s actually simple.

Mistake number one: not enough protein. It’s not just for muscle—it stabilizes blood sugar, keeps cravings in check, and is a metabolic powerhouse, especially in midlife.

Mistake number two: being scared of healthy fats. No, they don’t make you fat. They help balance hormones, fuel your brain, and make meals satisfying. Bring on the avocado and olive oil.

Mistake number three: totally overlooking fiber. It’s like a broom for your gut and a booster for your metabolism. Most women are severely under-fibered—and it shows in their energy, digestion, and weight."

C: And know that you don’t have to be perfect! That was a big lesson for me. The first few times I ate some chips at a party, I thought everyone would point and shout “look what the yoga teacher is eating!”. The first time I planned to enjoy a donut on purpose I was giddy. These were demonized foods that I, of course, still snuck when my defences were low. The diet trauma wreaked havoc with my nervous system. Once I allowed myself to plan for treats, now and then, all the rebellion leaked out. I felt much more in control. And that felt GREAT.

S: Not feeling deprived is such a key point and that’s such a powerful shift. So many women don’t even realize how much food trauma they’re carrying until they try to eat a damn donut without guilt. Not feeling deprived is everything. Because let’s be real—when your brain feels restricted, it rebels. That’s biology, not lack of willpower.

And here's the good news: you don’t have to live in deprivation to reach your health goals. There are so many simple, satisfying swaps that give you that same dopamine hit—without sending your blood sugar on a rollercoaster or leaving you in a shame spiral."

💥 Craving crunchy chips? Try roasted chickpeas with sea salt and smoked paprika, or sliced cucumber with guac for that dip-and-crunch vibe. Still want chips? Have them—but portion it, sit down, and enjoy the hell out of them.

💥 Need a sweet fix? Frozen dark chocolate-covered strawberries, Greek yogurt with berries and a drizzle of honey, or a square of high-quality dark chocolate or my fave - chocolate avocado pudding - these can do the trick without the crash and getting hooked on all the chemicals added to processed foods that are designed for us to crave more.

💥 Love creamy comfort foods? Make a chia pudding with coconut milk and cinnamon, or mash avocado with lemon and a pinch of sea salt on seeded toast—or my go to is greek yogurt with a spoon of organic peanut butter.

💥 And when you do want the real thing a treat or reward? Plan it in advance. Choose it. Eat it slowly. No sneaking, no shame, no apology. That’s how you take your power back.

The more you nourish yourself with intention—not restriction—the more trust you build with your body. And from there? Your nervous system calms down, your metabolism works better, and those old patterns start to fade. That’s food freedom and smart strategy working together.

C: Hang on I’m making notes (lol). In hindsight, I tell you I lost 25 pounds like it was nothing. But to make that commitment to myself. To seek out professional support. I was poopin’ my pants. So I totally get that our listeners might be… this all sounds so great but my metabolism is wrecked because of medication or I can’t exercise because of this or my weight is really stubborn compared to others. These videos are yours. Watch them over and over. Eventually, you’ll hear the magic words that unlock your mind. Eventually, just like happened with me, I woke up to the true potential that I could bring to the world. It’s not just the weight that dropped away but along the path, I shed the b******t in my mind. Well, I’m workin’ on it.

S: If you’re sitting there thinking, ‘Yes, this is exactly what I’ve been going through,’ I want you to know—you don’t have to figure this all out alone.

This is the work I do—supporting midlife women who are ready to take charge of their metabolism, their energy, their hormones, and their health at a root level. This isn’t surface-level coaching. This is high-level, personalized support, backed by lab testing and real data.

We start with comprehensive functional testing—so we’re not guessing. We look at what’s really going on with your metabolism, hormones, gut health, inflammation, and more. It’s about getting the full picture, not just throwing another diet at the wall and hoping it sticks.

From there, we create a tailored plan that supports your body, your lifestyle, and your goals. We work closely together—you’re not handed a PDF and left to figure it out. This is high-touch coaching, with accountability, mindset work, nervous system support, and practical strategies that actually fit into your real life.

So if you’re done with the one-size-fits-all plans and you’re ready to get real answers and real results—reach out. Book a call. Let’s talk about what’s possible for you when you stop guessing and start working with your body

C: And I have programs that help with the mindfulness and movement piece. The SHE Mindfulness Online Course is starting this fall. Study at your own pace, join in group sessions via zoom when you need a sense of community. And there are lots of yoga videos on my website that show how to modify poses for joint pain, osteoporosis, back problems and more.

S: Thanks so much Cheryl for inviting me to collaborate with you. Are you ready to go work on those deeper dive courses?

C: You bet. It’s been my pleasure. Thanks so much to all of you who have commented and emailed about our content. Namaste.

S:Check out the comments below to get the web addresses for all these resources. And sign up for our newsletters, I have one as does Cheryl, to stay in touch. Namaste.

S: Hey everyone, welcome! This is episode #7 in our series about midlife metabolism and weight loss. Today we’ll dive in to something rarely discussed. It might even be “taboo”! woot woot I’m Sharlene Styles, certified holistic nutritionist, life coach and metabolism mechanic.

C: And I’m Cheryl Gordon, I help midlife women sleep better, lose weight and feel stronger with the tools of yoga and mindfulness. And Sharlene, I’m so committed to having this conversation. Spoiler alert: we’re going to talk about S-E-X as well as some other key aspects of community and connection.

S: Your mother would be shocked! But this is super important not only for weight loss but true vitality.

C: Can I just speak from the heart here? It can be lonely as an older woman. My kids are busy. All the feelings of camaraderie I had at the office are behind me. And I love my honey but I just don’t have the hormones that drive me to seek the humpa wumpa all the time. And, I don’t know about our listeners, but my honey is old school. If I look for a cuddle, I’m in for the full monty.

S: And what if you don’t have a life partner at this stage? I am single. Connection and intimacy are not built in for me either.

C: Quite frankly, not only did desire cool quite a bit after menopause but sex got quite painful. I’d just like to shout out to all my sisters in this and encourage them to go to the North American Menopause Society website. This professional body has published several, easy to understand policy papers that really helped me clarify what my medical options were. This kind of advice is outside my scope of practice but I just wanted to say that, as a yoga therapist and committed holistic health devotee, a little help from pharmaceuticals is not giving up.

S: Good for you, Cheryl. It’s so important that women get information and keep searching until they find the solution that’s right for them. Let’s not let embarrassment hold us back. You, my friend are NOT alone.

C: Sharlene, how does a healthy sex life, intimacy and connection affect our weight gain?

S: Great question! So, let’s talk about intimacy, connection, and a healthy sex life—because this isn’t just about pleasure, it’s about power. This is where our life force is generated. When we feel deeply connected—emotionally, physically, spiritually—our body shifts. Stress melts. Cortisol drops. We stop living in survival mode, and we come back to our bodies, to trust, to vitality.

Oxytocin—the love hormone—floods our system, calming cravings, boosting metabolism, and helping us sleep better. But more than that? We awaken. We feel alive. And when a woman is lit up from within, her body naturally finds balance. So yes, pleasure, intimacy, and connection are metabolic medicine.

C: Right on. I’d just like to bring in the… wait for it… the nervous system AGAIN. Remember we talked about the connection between stress and weight gain? Humans are wired to be part of a tribe. To be ostracized meant almost certain death back in the day. That wiring is still present and active in your modern brain. It is physically painful to be ignored, left behind, gossiped about.

S: Yes! I’m so glad you brought that up—because this right here? This is what so many women don’t realize. Your nervous system isn’t overreacting. It’s doing its job. Feeling left out, judged, or excluded isn’t just emotionally tough—it’s physically painful. Your body reads it as danger. And midlife? It can feel especially lonely.

Things shift—careers change, friendships fade, kids grow up… and suddenly, it’s like you’re not being seen anymore. Like you’ve become invisible in a world that worships youth and surface beauty. But here's the truth: you’re still here. And the deep part of you—that wise, fiery, radiant part—is still very much alive.

You don’t have to wait to be chosen or rescued. You can consciously create connection—on purpose. And when you do? It’s not just good for the soul—it’s literal metabolic medicine.

Because when we feel safe, seen, and supported, the body stops bracing. Cortisol drops. Cravings ease. Sleep deepens. Your weight shifts because your body is no longer stuck in survival mode. That’s the power of belonging.

So how do we do it? Start small. I have found for me it works to take the first step, to reach out to someone who lights you up and invite her them for visit, chat, walk or game of some sort or to something you have in common.. Make connection a ritual—voice notes, walk-and-talks, cozy truth-telling tea dates. Or pull a few women together and start your own circle. You don’t need permission to build your village.

And if you’re craving depth? Say yes to that retreat or women’s group that’s been tugging at your heart. Because this isn’t just about friendship—it’s about coming home to yourself. That kind of safety recalibrates your whole system. Hormones, metabolism, mood—they all shift when your nervous system finally hears: You belong. You matter. You’re home.

We are not meant to lone-wolf our way through life, especially not through midlife. This is a season of deep transformation, and your nervous system is begging for safety, connection, and truth.

C: And you’re doing amazing listening to productions like this. As you empower yourself, work on your thoughts, feelings and actions, you’ll attract like minded people. Full disclosure. I have shed some previously close relationships and felt really exposed for a time. But once you sense the possibilities of taking charge, not just of your weight, but your whole life, it gets easier to stay the course.

S: Yes, thank you for naming that—because that transition? It’s real. When you start shedding old patterns, relationships, even identities... it can feel raw and lonely before it feels empowering. But it’s also a sign you’re growing. You’re aligning. And that’s sacred work.

And here's what helps: don’t do it alone. Staying accountable in community isn’t about pressure—it’s about support. As women we thrive in a tribe. So having women around you who remind you of who you are when you forget can be an anchor into highest self.. Those who reflect back your brilliance, your strength, and your truth.

Here are a few ways to stay anchored:

Find people who make you feel more like you. The real you—not the version that’s people-pleasing or playing small to keep the peace. If you walk away from a conversation feeling drained, second-guessing yourself, or like you had to shrink to fit in—that’s not your circle. That’s your signal. Protect your energy like your life depends on it—because in many ways, it does.

Be the brave one. Go first. Be the woman who sends the message, makes the invite, starts the real conversation. Say, “I’m done pretending everything’s fine. I want more depth, more truth, more real.” Yes, it’s vulnerable. Yes, it might be messy. But waiting for someone else to go first? That’s how we stay lonely.

Put yourself in rooms that expand you. Go where your next self lives—even if it terrifies you. That women’s retreat you keep circling? Say yes. That movement class where you don’t know anyone? Go anyway. If it feels both scary and soul-stirring—that’s your growth edge. That’s your becoming.

Call your own b******t—with love. You probably don’t need another reset or meal plan. You need to stop abandoning yourself when it gets uncomfortable. Show up. Stay. And when you fall off? Don’t ghost your growth. Text your people. Say, “I’m in the spiral. I need eyes on me.” That’s what sacred community is for. Not to judge you—to hold you as you rise.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. About truth. About rising together.

Because the real transformation? It doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in brave spaces, with brave women, telling the truth and choosing to keep going—even when it’s messy.

You weren’t meant to do this alone. And the moment you remember that? Everything starts to shift.

C: For example, I reconnected with Sharlene at a networking event. I was nervous to reach out and suggest a collaboration but she was great. Turns out Sharlene was up for creating deeper ,more authentic connections too. And here we are, planning so many cool projects.

S: We have one more session in this series. Next time we’ll get quite specific about what to eat.

C: Isn’t it cool that we did 7 sessions about weight loss and didn’t say the D-I-E-T word once? It’s about way more than calories in and calories out, right?

S: Absolutely! When we conclude this series, we’ll be releasing a few “deeper dive” video courses. Please sign up for our newsletters at either of our websites (www.purenaturalhealth.ca or www.cherylgordonyt.com) to be the first to hear. There will be courses on hormones, metabolism, stress, sleep and maybe more but that’s all we have so far. We want to keep supporting you in your weight loss journey.

C:The web addresses are in the show notes. Please comment! Share these episodes with your friends! Let us know what is resonating with you. See you next session.

C: Hey, hey, hey and Welcome! You are discovering how to shed that midlife belly holistically and while having a lot of fun. Today we dive into drinking your water! I bet you are going to walk away “mind blown” when you realize how essential this is to your weight loss.

S: I’m Sharlene Styles, certified holistic nutritionist, life coach and metabolism mechanic.

C: I’m Cheryl Gordon. I help midlife women sleep better, feel stronger and lose weight with the tools of yoga and mindfulness. “I’m too busy to drink water”... “I don’t like the taste of water”... “does coffee count?” Sound familiar from your clients Sharlene?

S: Yup — all the time. And the one I hear most is, “I know I should drink more water, but…”

And that “but” is often the reason their metabolism is feeling sluggish.

When we’re dehydrated — even just mildly — everything slows down: digestion, energy, mental clarity, and especially detoxification. And when your detox pathways are sluggish, your body can have a harder time releasing stored fat. Why? Because toxins are often stored in fat cells — and your body will actually hold on to fat as a buffer if it doesn’t feel safe or supported enough to detox properly.

C: That’s such a good point. And I think most people don’t realize that detox isn’t just about green juices or cleanses. It’s happening 24/7 in the background. One of the biggest mechanisms of detoxification is breathing. As a yoga teacher, I always have to get that info in there.

S: And as a holistic nutritionist, I want to repeat that detox is not a one-week event, it’s a full-time job for your body. And two of the biggest players in that process are your liver and your gut.

Your liver is like your internal filtration system. It helps break down hormones, process toxins, and metabolize fats. But if it’s overwhelmed — maybe from alcohol, medications, stress, or even just a poor diet — it doesn’t function as efficiently. And that can lead to hormonal imbalances, like excess estrogen, which is a big contributor to weight gain in the midsection.

Then there's the gut. A healthy gut helps eliminate waste, supports the immune system, and plays a huge role in hormone metabolism — especially estrogen. If you’re constipated or your gut bacteria are out of balance, your body may reabsorb toxins or excess hormones instead of getting rid of them.

So when the liver and gut aren’t functioning optimally, your whole system gets bogged down. And weight loss — especially in midlife — becomes so much harder, no matter how "clean" your diet is.

C: Sharlene, there is so much to learn about gut health. This is where you work a lot with your clients right?

S: I offer a FREE five day gut health menu plan on my website.

C: Water helps the liver flush out toxins and function optimally, supporting nutrient absorption and overall bodily functions. AND adequate hydration supports nutrient absorption, waste elimination, and a healthy gut microbiome, while dehydration can lead to constipation, bloating, and other digestive issues.

S: Stools are another key mechanism of detoxification so I really need to talk poop with my clients. It can be such a common sense fix to suggest more water to fix that belly bloat.

C: And now I’m coming back to the nervous system. Stress can interfere with regularity. Flushing out stress, through movement and adequate hydration, can improve elimination.

Here’s another clue as to why hydration helps to shrink the belly.

We’ve talked about staying at home base. This is the range where our logical brain is in charge. When we get into the orange zone, it’s kinda like a toddler grabbed the keys to the SUV and is heading out the door. Ack! Our dreams and goals do not live in the orange zone.

Long before we register conscious thirst, the brain notices dehydration. It’s processed as a potential survival threat ie stress. Because this might be a common pattern, the habit brain has experience that food contains hydration. Let’s send out cravings and urges! The system doesn’t really need food per se, but that’s a sure fire strategy to deal with this situation.

This is a great strategy to deal with urges to eat. Maybe you’re not sure if you’re really hungry. Try drinking 8 oz of water and waiting 10 minutes. Carefully attune to how you feel in the meantime, Are you bothered or stressed? Are you fatigued? Do you need a break from the computer? Do you need a hug?

Bringing more awareness to hydration, understanding why unconscious thirst is so challenging for your system, taking some steps to remedy dehydration is like a super power to reduce that belly.

S: So let’s talk strategy — because just knowing we need to drink more water isn’t enough, right? We need simple ways to make it happen.

One of the easiest things you can do is carry a water bottle with you everywhere — seriously, treat it like your phone. If it’s within reach, you’re way more likely to sip throughout the day.

Personally, I aim for three litres a day, spaced around meals. I drink one full liter on waking before breakfast, one before lunch, and another before dinner. That timing also helps with digestion and reduces the urge to mindlessly snack.

Now — about adding flavours to water. I’m not a huge fan of flavouring your water for a couple of reasons. First, anything that stimulates digestion — even something like lemon or fruit — can make you feel hungry when your body doesn’t actually need food. And second, even natural sugars from fruit infusions can subtly impact blood sugar, especially if you're sipping all day long.

But… I also get it. If adding some flavour is the only way you’ll actually drink it, then do you. Just try to keep it clean and minimal — maybe a few herbs like mint or a splash of cucumber instead of fruit-heavy blends.

The key here is consistency. Your body thrives on hydration — and so does your metabolism.

C: I use a 32 oz water bottle that is filled twice a day. It is my side kick everywhere I go and then I know for sure where my hydration is at.

S: Great plan. I also find it's much easier to stay on track using larger containers instead of those little 500 ml bottles — it just gets confusing trying to count how many you've had when you’re aiming for 2 to 3 litres a day and then there’s the whole environment thing on top of that too.

Another tip I share with clients is to consider adding electrolytes to their water. When you're well-hydrated but still feeling fatigued or foggy, it could be a sign that you're flushing out important minerals like magnesium, sodium, and potassium. A pinch of high-quality sea salt or a clean electrolyte mix with no sweeteners can help keep things balanced — and support energy, muscle function, and even your mood.

And on that note, in our next episode, we’ll be diving into something just as vital: community and connection. Because feeling supported and emotionally nourished plays a huge role in sustainable weight loss — and really, in every area of well-being.

In the meantime, you can find more resources on our websites: 👉 www.purenaturalhealth.ca 👉 www.cherylgordonyt.com

And if you found this helpful, please subscribe to this YouTube channel, give us a like, or drop a comment below. We’d love to hear from you!

S: Welcome, welcome, or welcome back! Today we’re going to take a look at how poor sleep sabotages metabolisms and give you real solutions. I’m Sharlene Styles, certified holistic nutritionist, life coach and metabolism mechanic.

C: And I’m Cheryl Gordon. I educate midlife women about losing weight, feeling stronger and sleeping better with the tools of yoga and mindfulness. This is episode five in our series Midlife Reset.

This is a huge and super important topic. For a deeper dive, Sharlene and I will be offering a four part video course later this year. Be sure to sign up for our newsletters (we’ll give the websites in the comments below this video) so you don’t miss the launch.

S: So, how did you sleep last night Cheryl?

C: I sleep better now. But in the perimenopause years, it became a real struggle to get to sleep, which I later learned is delayed onset sleep disorder, and then to stay asleep, which most of us know as classic insomnia.

S: Me too. And it only gets worse the more you lie there, wide awake, stressing about how tired you’ll be tomorrow. That anxiety — and the sleep deprivation — start feeding off each other.

And that is your first big clue as to why poor sleep contributes to belly fat.

You see, when your body isn't getting enough restorative sleep, it registers that as a stress signal. And when you're under stress — whether it's emotional or physical — your body releases more cortisol.

Cortisol as we know is your body’s main stress hormone, and one of its jobs is to store energy... often right around your midsection. It’s your body’s way of protecting you, but it’s not so helpful when you're trying to feel lighter and more balanced.

So this isn’t just about being tired. It’s a hormonal loop — and breaking that cycle starts with understanding it. Because once you see the pattern, you can start to shift it — gently, and without judgment.

C: I wish I would have reached out for help sooner. Here’s a wisdom bomb… the drop in progesterone reduces our body’s ability to produce melatonin. And progesterone is required to manufacture GABA. This is a neurotransmitter that induces a calm state of mind. Incidentally, research shows that somatic, mindful movement like yoga also increases GABA.

S: It may also be important to note here on the topic of progesterone — it’s really the ratio of progesterone to estrogen that makes the biggest difference. Even if your estrogen is technically within range, if progesterone drops too low — which it often does in midlife — that imbalance can really throw off your sleep.

Lower progesterone means less support for melatonin production, so your natural sleep-wake rhythm gets disrupted. And without enough melatonin, it’s harder to fall asleep, stay asleep, and feel rested in the morning.

Another layer here is blood sugar. If you're experiencing spikes and crashes throughout the day — maybe from skipping meals, eating too many refined carbs, or constant snacking — that can mess with insulin regulation. And when blood sugar crashes in the night, your body releases stress signals that can jolt you awake.

So while we often think of sleep as just about bedtime routines, it’s actually a full-day hormonal conversation — from what you eat to how your hormones are dancing together behind the scenes.

C: Let’s talk about sleep interruption. A lot of my clients report that they slept for a few hours then woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. Sleep interruption. I assure them that they are normal! This is a big topic but quickly, we cycle through approximately 90 minute sleep waves. We relax…sink into deep sleep… come up through REM and then almost wake up… and repeat. Physical exhaustion can keep us comatose for the first few cycles but then built up stress (or the blood sugar crashes you mentioned Sharlene) can claim dominance in the wee hours. And boy is my brain cuckoo at 3 am!

S: Oh, totally — 3 a.m. brain is a whole mood. And here's why that time of night matters so much...

Some of the most important repair work your body does happens right in those middle-of-the-night hours — especially when you're cycling through deeper stages of sleep. This is when your brain is consolidating memories, organizing thoughts, and cleaning out waste through something called the glymphatic system — kind of like a nightly rinse cycle for your brain.

Your digestive system is also doing its own version of housecleaning — flushing out what's no longer needed, supporting liver detox pathways, and helping to regulate blood sugar and hormone balance for the next day.

So when that rhythm gets disrupted — whether it’s from stress, hormone imbalance, or blood sugar dips — not only do you wake up feeling foggy, but your body misses out on that crucial overnight reset.

That’s why we say sleep is so much more than rest — it’s repair, regulation, and reset all in one.

C: If you haven’t already caught episode #4 (the Stress-Weight Connection), you’ll want to go back as there is more details in that. Let’s talk about solutions. We promised we’d show how to get back on track Sharlene.

S: Yes! Let’s talk food — because what and when you eat absolutely affects how well you sleep.

One of the biggest things I see with women in midlife is skipping meals or going too long without eating — especially in the afternoon. That can tank your blood sugar, which sets you up for evening cravings, late-night snacking, and those dreaded 3 a.m. wakeups. So the first step? Balance your blood sugar during the day. That means including protein, healthy fats, and fiber at every meal — especially breakfast. Yes, even if you're not hungry in the morning — that’s a signal your metabolism needs some loving.

And while we’re on the topic of nutrients, let’s not forget magnesium. It’s one of the most common deficiencies I see — and it’s absolutely essential for calming the nervous system, relaxing muscles, supporting melatonin production, and even helping regulate blood sugar. Think of it as your body’s natural chill pill. You can get it from leafy greens, seeds, nuts, and whole grains — or supplement if needed, especially in the evening to help wind down. And remember, not all forms of magnesium do the same thing — we may have to talk about that in another episode.

And finally, try to avoid heavy meals or sugar late at night. Your digestive system needs time to wind down too. Eating too close to bedtime can interfere with deep sleep, because your body’s too busy digesting when it should be restoring.

C: It’s just not “ok” to sleep like crap. You need to make your health a priority!

As I mentioned earlier, we have a full four part video series coming up to offer even more explanation and further tools. And on my website, www.cherylgordonyt.com, there are several videos and audio tracks to help with sleep. We’ll put the link to that in the show notes.

Getting back to what you mentioned earlier Sharlene. Good sleep is a whole day in the making. Here are a few quick pointers to get you started on better sleep:

* Good sleep begins in the morning. It might mean limiting caffeine. It means getting daylight exposure within 30 minutes of rising (preferably within 2 hours of sunrise). There is a unique combination of yellow and blue light rays when the sun is still at that angle. This communicates with a primal part of your brain, signalling it’s time to get active.

* Invest in planning of your day, just like you were a big boss… prioritizing what will get your attention and where you may need to say NO. Heading problems off at the pass whenever possible instead of being too distracted by a newsfeed to really give yourself attention. This focus on your priorities creates a feeling of safety in your nervous system that influences bedtime thoughts.

* Physical movement flushes inflammatory compounds, like the endotoxins from chronic stress, out of your system. This eases joint pain, creates a feeling of wellbeing and decreases risks of chronic diseases. It also reduces aches and pains when you are tossing a turning at 3 am.

* Let the light fade gradually toward bedtime. Avoid overhead lights two hours prior to bed. Avoid electronic screens one hour before bed. Melatonin is released as the sun sets in natural environments. That primal part of your brain is still absorbing the directions from light sources. Too much light, or the wrong kind, is very confusing.

* Do execute a relaxing regimen before bed… a bath, reading, stretching, meditating, etc. Recognize that the time assigned for sleep is sacrosanct. No working, scrolling, laundry, etc. If sleep is elusive, invest in practices that support Non Sleep Deep Rest such as meditation, restorative yoga or breathing consciously. These can be done right in bed. They alleviate anxiety around sleeplessness and research shows they benefit our brains and bodies similar to actual sleep, maybe even more effective in some cases!

S: Love it! And while these tips might sound simple on the surface, the real magic happens when you turn them into habits. That’s when it all starts to click — and you realize how powerful small, common-sense shifts can be. You don’t need to overhaul your life to sleep better… just start with one or two gentle changes, and let your body show you what it’s been craving all along.

C: My suggestion is to choose one new habit, like the early morning sunshine or adding more protein at breakfast. Work on that for a week or more until it feels normal. Then, rewatch this video or scan the show notes and pick number two on your list. It is not sustainable to do “all the things” at once. This is a lifetime project!

S: And you can find more resources on either of our websites, www.purenaturalhealth.ca or www.cherylgordonyt.com Please subscribe to this youtube channel or comment. Let us know how your empress journey is unfolding and whether these topics affect you too. Next episode will be about staying hydrated… your secret weapon to detox and weight loss.

Does this sound familiar? I eat healthy all day long… green smoothie for breakfast, high fibre salad for lunch. Even at dinner, well, I start carefully. But then it tastes really good. And I’m not supposed to eat after dinner, so I’d better tank up now. Wouldn’t want to be hungry or I won’t sleep. And then I finish it all and think good, I’m full. But…. The night stretches out long ahead. I’m tired. But a little wired. My sweet tooth starts grumbling. What about a little chocolate??? Dark chocolate has antioxidants you know. Yup. That sure was good. Another little square won’t hurt. I sit to watch something on YouTube and next thing I know, half the bar is gone. OK, no more of that. This is what goes on in my brain, literally.

Welcome to episode 25 of the Midlife Reset Podcast. I’m Cheryl Gordon, yoga therapist. I am working hard to educate midlife women about losing weight, feeling stronger and sleeping better.

Back to my night time struggle. Literally every night.

I feel shame for caving on the chocolate. That uncomfortable feeling niggles in the back of my mind while I’m trying to distract with more YouTube or reading. More shame starts piling in because it’s a shame spiral. The more the merrier, right?

You should sign up for an exercise class at night. You will never fit into your clothes if you don’t tackle this weight around the middle. And for me, I make a living selling healthy lifestyle. What kind of advertisement is it if I look dumpy????

Yeah, and I should sign up for a continuing education class. That would keep me away from food at night. I do feel kind of tired after dinner. I put in full days. But if I were really ambitious or organized I would have energy for that. More shame, yay!

Meanwhile, my habit brain, the part of my brain that organizes all my background processes, is becoming a little concerned. All this shame coming to the party leads to feelings of isolation, being left out and not measuring up. Wayyyyy back in the caveman days, being left out or ostracized from the tribe was fatal. My habit brain still holds to that notion. So these feelings of isolation are being read as a survival threat. We could die!!!!

Habit brain to the rescue! It has a plan for all potential survival threats. And it has been gathering programming for millennia for just this moment.

Unfortunately, my habit brain does not have room or any desire to embrace my goals, dreams and higher human potential. It’s only interested in basic survival. It doesn’t know that I’ve resolved to kick night time snacking or that I desperately want to fit into my beautiful clothes.

The habit brain steadily amps up the signals that we should do whatever it takes to calm the feelings of isolation, shame and loneliness. Historically, you know what has worked super well???? Eating a snack!

When we eat something rich in carbohydrates, like chocolate or popcorn or Oreos, the brain receives a strong dopamine hit. This is a pleasure hormone. We are wired, super hard wired, to go after dopamine hits.

Ahhhhh. Pleasurable food. Brain happy. Shame spiral temporarily halted. Deep breath.

Unfortunately, that dopamine hit just band-aided the problem. Logically, I’ve just added more fuel to the shame fire. The whole circle of hell starts again.

Hopefully, my story helps you understand how absolutely normal you are. This is a trap so many of us fall into. You are not broken. I am not shame worthy. It’s just an unmindful pattern that we can totally hack into.

Here’s how.

There are several reasons why this night time snacking cycle gets away from us. I’d like to share three today along with a strategy for each. In the SHE Mindfulness Program, we take a much deeper dive. And you have access to our private Community within which you can ask questions specific to your situation and share your own strategies with others like us.

1. Days can be busy. Sometimes it’s hard to fit in proper meals. And I often don’t notice my hunger or cravings because my brain is so entertained by all that’s happening. Also, I might take advantage of that distraction and skip some meals. You know… bank my calories for later. It’s feels so virtuous to say, “Oh I forgot to eat today!” Or “I only had an apple for lunch”.

Meanwhile, that habit brain is getting more and more concerned. Depriving ourselves and ignoring hunger cues can create a panic response in your system. Even mild hunger can trigger stress hormones. You might not notice the build up of anxiety because you are stimulated by your activities. But when the distractions start to wind down, the anxiety hits full tilt.

Do you find you are nibbling while cooking dinner? Do the hunger pangs attack as you drive home to make supper? Do you get “hangry”?

Routinely ignoring hunger cues sensitizes our alarm system so it’s super hard to control eating to enough. There is a brilliant communication loop built into our system. But if we are not attuned, the system loses its calibration. In other words, the habit brain becomes even more of a drama queen and sends these big panic messages as soon as it can find our attention.

Here’s the solution: Eat when you are hungry. And stop eating when you’ve had enough.

How elegant. In Mindful Eating (you can get a FREE copy of the guide by clicking on the link in the show notes), we study exactly how to read the body for hunger and full cues. It sounds so simple but, for me, it has been an ongoing practice to recalibrate.

This is a long term process of learning to deeply listen to your body again. You don’t have to give up chocolate or popcorn. I promise.

2. The next strategy is helping to address the hormones that cause unnecessary night time snacking.

Cortisol is a normal hormone that is commonly released in the system to help us feel energized and prepped for activity. It starts to rise about 4 am and steadily grows all day. There’s nothing wrong with cortisol in the system. It’s normal.

But here’s the catch. We sit down at dinner. We’re probably hungry. We’ve been busy. Our brains are tired. Do you know you have to make tens of thousands of decisions each day and each one is an energy gobbler?

The relaxation that comes into the system with food is like a roller coaster downhill. We crash. Our system so needed that relaxation that it doesn’t want it to end. Especially if after dinner, there’s a whole bunch of yucky stuff like laundry or feeling lonely.

The habit brain knows how to keep the party going. Keep eating! It’s simple. So we take a little more chicken. That’s healthy right? And maybe just a spoonful more pasta. It is so good tonight. Did you miss lunch? Well… have seconds of course. You can afford the calories.

The body doesn’t really need those calories. They will likely be stored as fat… you know, there could be a famine. There was for most of human history. The bottom line… you torpedo your weight loss goals before you’ve even really settled in for the evening.

Does this resonate? Well, I blew through my portion control at supper. I’ll start over tomorrow. But for tonight, I might as well blow it out with chips. And then it’s the shame spiral. See overeating strategy number one.

There is a wonderful solution! In the SHE Mindfulness program we talk a lot more about mindful rest. But this is how rest breaks throughout the day relate to weight loss. Most people think they need to exercise more. So this can be really counter intuitive. But stick with me.

IF you don’t want to try and wrestle with that big tank in cortisol at supper tonight, wouldn’t it make sense to bring it down a bit during the day? This is scientifically possible by taking 5 - 20 minute mid day reset for the nervous system. A restorative yoga pose, a quick nap, a meditation…. There are many options to reduce cortisol production.

The second part to this solution is to plan for a pleasurable activity after dinner that will mimic that dopamine hit you normally get from food. A juicy novel perhaps? A cuddle with a loved one or pet? A relaxing evening stroll to gab with the neighbours? Not laundry! Not a high energy boxer fit class! I love seeing the amazing ideas our community in the SHE Mindfulness program shares about getting that evening sense of connection and calm.

* And finally, the third issue. Are you a rebel? You might be a wonderful, giving person all day… never saying no and always patient … then night time comes… it’s quiet, no one’s around… it’s your time and you’re going to have a little fun by golly… that’s often the junk food.

I have a friend. She stills writes handwritten thank you cards! She has impeccable manners. Never misses a birthday, etc. Her house is immaculate. Very successful at her career. But simmering underneath, that nobody can see usually, she’s pissed. People forget her birthday. They don’t say thank you. They don’t finish the file properly at work. Why do they get away with that sloppiness and she has to clean up the mess???

That simmering resentment is damned uncomfortable to live with. The voices in our heads can get nasty. And we don’t want to be nasty. BUT if I just dip into that leftover cake…. It makes all the voices quieter for a few minutes.

This is what we call Rebel Eating. I deserve a treat because I had one helluva day. I just don’t know where else to turn for comfort.

Girlfriend, you got this. Through mindfulness, you can learn to be your own best friend. To have your back.

When I first looked at this behaviour, I was stumped as to how to nurture myself without food, wine or shopping. What else was there???? It took some soul searching to uncover the ways in which I was being unkind to myself so I wouldn’t feel so, well, USED at the end of the day.

The solution is to look at setting boundaries. This is a lot harder than the word suggests. We all want to be strong, kickass women who stick up for ourselves. But in reality, we’re pushovers. Can you babysit grama? Can you bring a three layer cake to the pot luck? You don’t mind taking over Jane’s files do you since she’s having cancer treatment? We will do almost anything to make the people we care about happy. It’s called people pleasing. And it’s exhausting and ultimately unsuccessful. Review your relationships and obligations … what expectations do I have for myself that are ridiculously high? Where can you start setting clear limits on your own choices so you don’t feel like rebelling with food is your only way to find comfort.

In the SHE Mindfulness program, I advocate strongly for making daily plans. This supports you in seeing the whole picture of the day. Spot scheduling overlaps. Pack snacks for when food is inaccessible. Gather the materials you’ll need to get everything done.

I’ve personally also found a life coach incredibly helpful in learning more about boundaries and discovering the tools I need to follow through.

Let’s review. We’ve looked at three of the ways that night time snacking gets the better of us. Even if you aren’t looking to lose weight, snacking is often less than healthy. Not many of us grab the veggie sticks for movie night.

Skipping meals and depriving yourself aggravates your stress response, leaving you vulnerable to over eating later in the day. The solution is to eat when you are truly hungry and stop when you’ve had enough.

The relaxation that floods the system when you finally sit down to dinner is addictive. It’s hard to control portions when you just feel so good all of a sudden. The solution we reviewed here is to watch your energy expenditure during the day. Rest breaks can help even out the hormones, insulating you from that roller coaster ride at night.

People pleasing is wired in to us women but setting healthy boundaries can help prevent rebel eating at night. You are definitely worth some time and energy to investigate where you can put limits in place. No one likes feeling taken for granted.

I hope you will click on the link in the show notes to access your free mindful eating guide. It gives more detail about how to feel hunger cues and details the hunger scale. There are also some great tips on planning and other effective practices.

And if you would like a more in depth study of mindfulness to lose weight PLUS feel so much stronger and rested, I would encourage you to look into the SHE Mindfulness program. It’s the protocol that I used to lose 25 pounds of menopausal weight and the same practices that are supporting me this year as I build a six figure online business. Woot woot! I honestly would never have guessed a couple years ago that I’d be hosting a podcast and announcing my income goals in public. So much has changed due to mindfulness. I honestly have so much energy now, optimism, excitement for the future. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns as listeners to this podcast well know. But I feel like I can handle all the challenges that aging inevitably brings. I’m not scared now. I don’t feel like the show’s over. I’m not at the mercy of how other people think of me. It’s pretty empowering. And that’s what I want for you, my friend.

Many of you reached out after yesterday’s post. Thank you! I love y’all for your big hearts and caring.

Thought I would give you an update on how the rest of the day went and what I exactly did to navigate that craziness.

First, it was just what I said in the video. I had my own back. All through the snotty mess, I did not talk s**t to myself. Not once. I had 100% confidence that I would find my way to the other side of this dense mood. I trusted the process.

I could have decided I’ve been working too hard. Chasing big dreams is for other people, the luckier ones. Maybe I’m too old. I could have blamed my partner, politicians, the weather or the fact I don’t have a fancy kitchen. But I stayed the course. I’ve promised myself that I would commit to a goal and I’m not letting myself down. I put as much emphasis on this promise to me as I would a promise to my child.

And then I drilled down on self care.

* Journalled about how the feelings settled in my body. What were the specific sensations? Where did I feel the dense mood?

* Took a break from my normal workouts and invested in a cooling yin yoga practice. Without panic that I didn’t burn calories or build muscle.

* Owned the fact that I was a little forgetful and less productive for that day. Most people are very forgiving when you explain it’s got nothing to do with them.

* Stayed away from alcohol, comfort eating and went to bed early. Drank lots of water to flush out the endotoxic hormone overload from the stress.

The key takeaway is this: circumstances do not create our moods. I have been working hard. We do have some terrible politicians. It was super hot. And I don’t have granite countertops in my kitchen. I am 62.

When I dissected where my mood came from, I found a thought… my partner always argues when I propose a new idea. Which is true. He is very conservative. That thought brought on frustration, the fight and, well, you saw the result.

Now what if I substitute “my partner and I always manage to find the best idea together” which is absolutely true. I have over 2 decades of evidence to support how we have built a lovely life. Now the feeling is confidence/patience. The result is something new gets created without suffering.

How elegant.

It’s tough to always sort this out in the moment, though, isn’t it? That’s why we practice. And we learn. And I share with you so you can learn with me.

Namaste

In the above video, you are seeing the raw and real emotions of a midlife woman experiencing a difficult morning.

You usually see me bouncing about, full of enthusiasm for yoga and life. I love to teach. I live to share what I’m learning and get super pumped to see the wisdom blossom in your life too.

But life is full of contrast, isn’t it? In yoga, we talk about the sun and the moon… the male and the female energies. And that ancient practice understands that half the time…. yes, a full 50% of life…. will be less than sunny.

It’s soooo hard to accept, isn’t it? I do yoga, meditate, exercise, eat healthy, volunteer, love everybody…. what more do you want from me world????

Can anyone relate to this roller coaster ride too?

In the video, I made y’all a promise that I was going to pull it together. Here’s how it went.

* I acknowledged my experience just as it was at that moment. I supported myself even when it wasn’t pretty or pleasant.

* I didn’t beat myself up because I wasn’t measuring up to my normal performance.

* I modified my exercise routines. I chose swimming ,a restorative yoga practice and loving kindness meditation. This was all intentional to help me shift my energies. Strength training (as much as I love it) would have been to “sun” for my system that was already flooded with stress hormones. My bruised nervous system desperately needed a little mothering.

* I took extra care and time to get dressed so I felt important. I’m worth the effort.

By 10 am, things looked and felt a lot brighter.

There are a lot of reasons why you might have shitty mornings, days or weeks. Your self care might look a little different but a few key points are universal.

* Don’t talk s**t to yourself, ever.

* Have your back. Do whatever you need to support yourself even if that means saying no to fun things.

* Rest. One of the reasons I was so bagged is that I’ve been learning so many new things… tech for the business, new thoughts, Yin yoga…. My habit brain is just screaming “we’re all going to die!!!” because it really doesn’t like change. It’s super exhausting to deal with that drama queen all the time.

Understanding my nervous system and being practised with the tools to bring balance is something for which I am so grateful. I am also so grateful to you, for reading this post and supporting me as I pursue sharing the teachings.

Please comment and let me know how you handle crappy moods. Share with your friends if they need to know they aren’t broken, just becoming.

What if your weight loss journey had nothing to do with willpower... and everything to do with your relationship with yourself?

If you’re tired of diets, food guilt, and feeling like a failure every time you “fall off track,” this episode is for you.

Welcome to episode 18 of the Midlife Reset Podcast. I’m Cheryl Gordon, yoga therapist and educator for midlife women who want to lose weight, sleep better and feel stronger using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

Today, I’ll walk you through 5 simple steps to start mindful eating

—a compassionate, body-aware approach that helps you tune into hunger, plan realistically, and enjoy food without shame or restriction.

This isn’t a set of rules. It’s a mindset shift. It’s about reclaiming your energy, your joy, and your power—one bite at a time.

Let’s get started.

At the end of 2023, I was gaining menopausal weight despite eating healthy and exercising. So upsetting! I make my living demonstrating healthy lifestyles and I did not look or feel my best. I know the research on fasting, calorie restriction, stress and belly fat, etc. But I needed a real world plan for putting all that knowledge to work in my own life.

And here it is for you. I lost 25 pounds in 2024. It was fun. No really. FUN. I used the tools that I’m about to share to really get to know myself… like meeting a new best friend. And I discovered that I’m a pretty cool chick and pretty fun to hang with. I still ate foods I love including pasta (could eat that every day!!!!) And chocolate. With no GUILT! Just enjoying my life.

Here’s the details:

1.    Planning

Most decisions throughout the day are handled by the habit brain.  This is efficient and saves energy.  We breathe automatically.  Walk without thinking it through.  And the brain produces habitual signals around getting fuel for the body as well.

To lose weight, one must begin to question or re-program those habitual eating patterns.

Bullying oneself with willpower will only take us so far.  Habits are deeply grooved pathways in the brain that have served us well in the past.  There is little motivation, as far as the habit brain is concerned, to change anything.  Many of us have had the experience of starting a diet with all good intentions but in time, the stresses of life just put up too many roadblocks. 

The brain is at peak capacity earlier in the day after a night’s rest.  This is the best time to plan for success throughout the day.

Many of us can relate to this.  Earlier in the day, it’s smoothies and salads but by late afternoon, it’s more about snacks and sweets.  It’s not our imagination.  As our overall energy is expended, the brain shifts more and more into conservation mode.  We experience “decision fatigue”.  It’s too hard to decide to have vegetables when our habit brain knows that muffin will be comforting and familiar.

ACTION:

Each morning, take five minutes to plan what you are going to eat for the day.  

  a)    Make the plan realistic by looking ahead to how much time and energy you are likely to have for meals.  Look for solutions if there are late meetings or special occasions such as take out, crock pot recipes or asking for help.

b)    Take into account what you like.  Don’t make the plan all about what someone else says is healthy.  Include foods that bring joy and pleasure.  Your morning brain will more easily consider your dreams and goals for weight loss and help you find a good compromise between eating healthy and living pleasurably.  There are no banned foods unless your doctor has indicated that it will compromise your medical condition.

 c)    Put plenty of food on your plan.  Most of us have a complicated diet past.  Deprivation and calorie restriction in the past has traumatized our habit brains.  It may seem noble at 8 am to only  list celery sticks but realistically, you will want more than that by 4 pm.  You don’t have to eat all the food you have planned if you’re not hungry.  But you can set yourself up to feel like a failure if you eat off plan later.

d)    Look over the plan when you’ve got it down on paper (or on your device).  How do you feel about it?  What you eat is not a moral statement.  There are no trophies for depriving yourself of fuel.  Are you happy and excited about the food you’ve planned?

2.    When to Eat

  Eat whenever you are hungry.  Big period stop.  Mindful eating is about re-attuning to your body’s cues about what fuel it needs and when.

It is helpful to remember this hunger scale:  Explain 1 is stuffed like Thanksgiving and 10 is ravenous and starving.

In Mindful Eating, do your best to respond to hunger cues before you get to #7.  

  It is expected that one would be hungry 3 - 4 hours after eating a meal.  If you think you may be hungry, check when you last ate.  If the window is shorter than 3 - 4 hours, drink a glass of water and choose an activity that is pleasurable or relaxing for another 15 minutes.  Does that change your impression of hunger?

Here are some common hunger cues that often go undetected.  It’s important to sensitive yourself to your body’s communication around hunger.  

a)    loss of focus

b)    feeling a dip in energy

c)    yawning

d)    small belly gurgles

e)    dull, almost unnoticeable headache

You may discover other symptoms and it is helpful to keep a journal of how you uniquely experience hunger.

3.    How Much to Eat

  Using the hunger scale, in Mindful Eating one aims to stop eating when at about 3 - 4.

There is no measuring or counting anything with Mindful Eating.  You are learning to listen to your body’s information.

Before you start your meal, stop and take a deep breath.  Look at your food.  Smell it.  This is your God given right to take pleasure from eating.  Utilizing more of your sensory capacity increases pleasure.

As you start eating, put down your utensil between bites.  Chew thoroughly.  Take your time.  Register the pleasure of enjoying this delicious food.  Notice your surroundings and derive pleasure from nice table settings, your company or pleasant music.  

Continually check in with your hunger scale.  Here are some signals that maybe you have eaten enough:

a)    you start wondering if maybe you’ve had enough

b)    you slow down eating

c)    it doesn’t taste quite so amazing

d)    you start to belch

e)    you have the urge to check your phone or you start thinking about other things

Here are some signals that you blew past stopping at 3 - 4 on the hunger scale:

a)    needing to loosen a belt

b)    excessive belching

c)    pushing to clean up your plate

d)    feeling like you need to nap

e)    pressured to keep eating because you’re worried you won’t get to enjoy this yummy food again on your diet

4.    Dealing with Urges to Eat Off Plan

Everyone has the urge to eat when they are not truly hungry.  This is NORMAL.

You want to change how and what you are eating to serve your higher dreams and goals.  The habit brain is not where those dreams and goals live.  The habit brain has some basic defaults.  It wants to avoid pain.  It seeks pleasure.  And, above all, it wants things to stay the same.  Changing what you eat…. Which is such a basic survival activity… freaks the habit brain right out.

When you have the urge to eat off plan, relax.  

Whatever has caught your fancy could be put on your plan for tomorrow or the next day.  You can have your desire whenever you decide.

When planning, decide how you will nurture yourself during the urge to eat off plan.  Many of my clients use:

a)    deep breathing

b)    guided meditation

c)    restorative yoga poses

d)    journaling

e)    walking with a friend

To tell if the urge is just that or maybe a true signal that you need more fuel, ask yourself… would you eat broccoli right now?  If you are saying in your own mind, “hmmmm, chocolate sounds good right now” then you are not truly hungry.

5.    Celebrating Wins

Many of us have started diets with a goal weight.  As we progressed through the plan, it became apparent this was going to take awhile.  And that is healthy.  Severely delayed gratification though does not appeal to the habit brain.  It needs pleasure now.

Plan how you will reward yourself for tiny accomplishments.  Following your daily plan.  Stopping at enough.  Remembering to fill out a daily plan.  Journaling instead of giving in to an urge.  Taking time for exercise.  All these healthy habits deserve recognition!

Ways to celebrate wins:

a)    Write out your accomplishment on a sticky note and put it up on your bathroom mirror.  Every day, you’ll be reminded of how you’re evolving.

b)    Make a list of five things in your evening journal that were on track for Mindful Eating.

c)    Ask a friend or family member to share a hug for each win.

d)    Call or text a loved one who supports your growth.  Receive their love in return.

Mindful Eating is THE way to find your healthiest weight for good.  Every experience along the path is an opportunity to learn more about you.  And you are the most amazing woman.  No wonder you want to get to know yourself better!   

When you lose track of the plan… eat more than hoped…. Have a week where the scale doesn’t budget… don’t worry.  Mindfully and compassionately inquire as to what you could marginally adjust today.  What can you do just 1% better today?  Patience and consistency will win the race.

This whole program is laid out for you in a FREE guide. I’ll put the link in the show notes. It includes some additional visual explanations and videos to enhance your understanding of this transformative way to look at eating.

Stop the diets. Stop demonizing your favourite foods. Stop saying no to social occasions because the temptation to eat is too strong. Take back your life!

Get your FREE Mindful Guide to Eating with that link in the show notes. I truly wish someone had laid this out for me years ago. The stress I could have saved myself! The guilt I have suffered with! Now I enjoy French fries or ice cream. I have an occasional glass of wine. It’s all so simple now. And I’m very happy with my weight and much more confident and relaxed about my body.

Come be mindful with me!

What do you do when you’ve always been active—skiing, skating, cycling, playing racquet sports well into your 70s—and suddenly, your body says no more?

Let me tell you about June. By her 70th birthday, chronic pain had crept in. Nights were sleepless. The joy of walking had vanished. She was picturing a future where she was trapped in a chair, watching life go by.

Sound familiar?

If you’ve ever felt betrayed by your body… if you’ve tried everything from physio to pills, and still feel stuck… this episode is for you.

Welcome to the Midlife Reset Podcast episode #17. I’m Cheryl Gordon, yoga therapist. I educate midlife women on losing weight, feeling stronger and sleeping better using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

Today, I’m sharing how a simple, time-tested movement practice called the Joint Freeing Series helped June regain her mobility, ease her pain, and even improve her sleep. No magic. No hype. Just ancient wisdom adapted for modern, aching joints—and a reminder that healing is possible, even when it feels out of reach.

Let’s dive in.

                By the time June came to yoga therapy, she had tried most other pain remedies and was understandably frustrated.  Most people who come into therapy have tried many things and are fed up.

                The first order of business, after getting to know each other, was to give June something hopeful on which to focus.  She pictured herself chair bound and her life closing in on her.  The exercises that she had received from her chiropractor and physiotherapist weren’t holding her attention – so they weren’t getting done.  June needed something easy on the joints but interesting enough to motivate her to practice every day.  She needed a routine that would help her deal with all the side effects of that arthritic hip.

                Chronic joint pain is about more than a knee or hip.  As you can imagine in June’s case, her worries and frustrations about her narrowing activity opportunities were causing as much pain as the actual arthritis. 

* Having pain causes us to adjust our socializing so we can become isolated and at risk for depression.  You never know if you’re going to have a good day or a bad day. You don’t want to slow the others down so you make excuses. Gradually June’s social circle was narrowing. Even during family gatherings, she had to stay parked on the couch while the younger ones played soccer or headed to the basement rec room for video games. Not her usual adventurous personality.

* Having pain and getting yet another round of tests makes us feel like we are at the mercy of others, holding no power ourselves to heal.  We can feel reduced to a series of numbers and statistics. Each specialist knows his or her stuff inside and out but they don’t see us in our wholeness. They treat one aspect of our pain but are often in conflict with another specialist. At the very least, there is often confusion about who is doing what. I always tell my clients… if you go to a surgeon, you will get a surgical solution. If you go to your family doctor, you will get a pharmaceutical solution. This is how they are trained. They are doing their jobs.

* Having pain can create a feeling of hopelessness that causes other areas of self-care to fall away.  It’s very difficult to focus on a healthy diet if it hurts too much to stand to cook or grocery shop, for example. Feeling left out, being reduced to numbers on tests, having disturbed sleep… this all leads to a general malaise that we often diagnose as depression. But it’s not about chemical imbalances in the brain but more situational.

                Client after client, time and time again, I find that the Joint Freeing Series is just the ticket.  This simple series of uni-joint movements done in a specific order helps in so many ways.

The movements distribute lubrication in the joint, helping to reduce inflammatory compounds and to bring healing fluids to the tissues. Wherever there is circulation, there is healing. The instinct might be to not move… it could make it worse. But gentle, rhythmic movement pumps those healing fluids through the joint. In the Joint Freeing Series, movements are done without weight bearing. You only move the joint as much as you can with comfort. You might feel stretch or a sensation of change, but no pain.

The movements stretch tight places and strengthen weaker places gently. It is not a good plan to stretch an inflamed tissue. Imagine you have a cut on your arm. The two pieces of skin are trying to knit together. It is red, inflamed, maybe tender to touch. And now you pull the two apart and reopen the wound. What???? That would be nuts right? It was just healing! But that’s what you are doing to the soft tissue when you aggressively stretch a sore joint. And strengthening the opposing movements, or muscle groups, is very helpful to take pressure off the movements that are causing soreness in the joints. For example, in the hip…. Lifting the knee up to climb stairs can be painful. That’s flexion of the hip. Many times in my experience if we work on gentle strengthening of the opposing muscle group… the extensors of the hip joint… it helps to balance out the function of the hip and some pain is alleviated.

The movements remind the brain how to fire muscles in an efficient and safe way. Muscles don’t move by themselves. The brain tells them when to fire up. And the movement map in the brain is quite changeable and fluid. When we use a joint in a habitual way… and maybe that led to some imbalance that is now causing pain… we need to address re-programming the brain. This is called neuro-muscular reprogramming. To be successful, movements need to be repeated often in the corrected pattern with a calm frame of mind. The Joint Freeing Series does just this. Part of the magic is the focus on breath and slow pace. This keeps the nervous system in a learning mode.

The breath pattern is soothing to the nervous system and can alleviate our impression of pain. So the breathing in the Joint Freeing Series not only keeps us in that learning state of mind but also changes, literally changes, the way the brain is receiving sensory signals from your body. The classic story my teacher used to tell was about the paper cut at work. It always hurt way more than if the same injury occurred on Sunday afternoon when you were reading the comics section of the paper. Mindset deeply affects how we receive signals from our environment.

The practice is ordered in such a way as to engage the brain, like a meditation, which helps to wire new ways of thinking less focused on the pain. In June’s case, her worries about becoming wheel chair bound or living in her own home much longer were causing sleepless nights. Practising meditation, even moving forms like the Joint Freeing Series, can help anchor our minds in the present moment. This lifts us out of the worry loop. What a relief! Even if it’s just for a few minutes. Remember… the brain is very fluid and changeable. When we practice worry, we get really good at it. When we practice focusing on pure patterns of movement, we get better and better at that. What a pleasant surprise benefit for June… her sleeping improved!

You know, we often look for complicated solutions to our problems because our problems feel so overwhelming. But honestly… in so many situations, the simple approach is the most accessible and effective. The Joint Freeing Series is a prime example. The movements are simple. Each joint is moved in a single range on its own. We call this ‘uni-joint’ movements. You can really concentrate and feel each sensation independently.

What about June? We had about six sessions together and she made real progress. It was amazing to see how her whole person started feeling lighter. I got a note from her about a year after. She had gone for the hip replacement. She used the focus on breathing to manage all the pain and stress that goes with joint replacement. Her team was impressed how quickly she recovered. For anyone who has had joint replacement, you know that the alien part in your body is disconcerting. There are layers of trauma to process. June used her skills gained in yoga therapy to work through all of that.

I do recommend a specific protocol for hip and knee pain called “Release and Strengthen”. I’ll put a link to that in the show notes. June took advantage of the convenience of the home videos instead of booking private sessions when she was going through all this.

If you want to learn how to use this program for “prehab”, check out episode 15 of this podcast. I cover all the reasons why preparing for joint replacement is just as important as recovery.

Do you have to be in desperate straights to try the Joint Freeing Series? Hell, no! I use a version of this protocol every day! I’m a huge believer in keeping that pure movement pattern fresh in my brain. I’ll do the standing version before my sun salutes in the morning. I’ll do the supine version in bed to relax before sleep. I’ll base a whole yoga class on the classic version because I know my students are benefiting from attention to each joint.

Can you imagine not starting the Joint Freeing Series today? I have been doing a big sales pitch right? But I believe so strongly in the importance of this practice, I give the program away for free. There is absolutely no charge. I think every body NEEDS to stay movement oriented. And this protocol is ancient, time tested and I’ve adapted it for most needs.

Use the link in the show notes to access the Joint Freeing Series now. It is free. There are four videos that demonstrate a standing version, a chair based version (no getting up and down from the floor), a supine version and the classic version that does involve some up and down. It takes about 15 - 20 minutes the first few times, but you’ll master the routine quickly. I can move through it in 5 minutes if I want to move on to another activity.

My clients always ask me: ‘Why can’t I fall asleep even when I’m exhausted?’ And my answer always surprises them: ‘Let’s talk about your morning.’

Because believe it or not, your sleep struggles don’t start at bedtime… They start the moment you wake up.

Welcome to the Midlife Reset podcast with Cheryl Gordon. I’m excited to show you how to sleep better, feel stronger and lose weight using the tools of yoga and mindfulness. Because a good night’s sleep is crucial to all these things.

Yes—what you do in your first waking hour sets the stage for how easily you’ll fall asleep and how deeply you’ll rest that night.

Today, we’ll explore

* The role of morning light

* How to set your energy tone for the day

* What to eat (and avoid) at breakfast

* Why your circadian rhythm starts ticking the moment you wake up

Let’s talk light. Your body runs on a circadian rhythm, a 24-hour internal clock that regulates sleep, hormones, body temperature, digestion—you name it. The master in charge of deciding what that clock means is the pineal gland. It’s a tiny bitty thing in the centre of your head (associated with the third eye chakra for my yogi friends). As humans evolved, this gland used light to determine what the body should be doing moment to moment.

So what is the #1 signal that sets this clock? Daylight. When you get natural morning light, especially within 30–60 minutes of waking, it tells your brain: “It's daytime! Time to suppress melatonin and rev up energy!” There is a unique combination of blue and yellow light in the spectrum of early morning light that speaks the pineal gland’s language. The effect doesn’t work through a window so you need to get right outside. On cloudy mornings, it could take a little longer, but just 10 minutes is plenty of exposure. The combo of light is best within 2 hours of sunrise.

This same rhythm will then start winding you down ~14–16 hours later, helping you feel sleepy when it’s time for bed. That’s the way you’re wired, until we go screwing around with mother nature.

When my dad was born in 1939, they got up with the sun, did chores and went to bed not long after the sun set. Not much entertainment worth staying up for… no tv, candles to read by. That wasn’t that long ago really. It’s only recently, less than one hundred years, that we’ve had 24 hours a day lighting, computer distractions, drive throughs, etc. Our habits have shifted dramatically but our pineal glands can’t evolve that fast.

Do you hit the pillow exhausted and then your eyelids boing open and your thoughts are going like ninety? That, my dear friends, is a dysregulated nervous system. It’s been so over-stimulated all day, it just can’t release vigilance. I’ve been there for sure. Sometimes, you’re so exhausted physically that you do sink into sleep only to wake at 2 or 3 am with the cuckoo thoughts, right? This is a big topic but for today, let’s just talk about how you set the tone for your day. How can you consciously create less dysregulation for your nervous system by bed time?

Let me ask you. What’s the first thing you do in the morning?

* Scroll your phone?

* Check emails?

* Rush into your to-do list?

That launches your day with stress hormones like cortisol, which aren’t inherently bad—but when spiked too high or too fast, they can throw your nervous system into a state of hyperarousal. That can linger all day… and into bedtime.

This is such a wasted opportunity! Your brain, which is the most powerful tool in the universe by the way, is freshest in the morning. The brain is a huge energy gobbler… it gets tired fast. So from a productivity standpoint, why waste those first precious minutes on scrolling or routine emails? Dedicate the time to activities that will build you up… support your goals and dreams.

Things like yoga, deep breathing, journaling or reading, even just sipping tea in silence - create a “tone of safety” in your nervous system—what I call energy hygiene. When your body knows you’re safe, it can regulate energy better all day… and let go more easily at night.

Now let’s talk breakfast. Skipping breakfast, or eating just carbs or sugar, can set off blood sugar rollercoasters. That affects your energy, mood, and—yes—your sleep.

How?

* Blood sugar crashes during the day signal stress to the brain

* That stress keeps cortisol elevated and melatonin suppressed - melatonin is a natural sleep hormone that should gradually grow as the light of day fades - melatonin production is inhibited by cortisol.

A good breakfast for sleep includes protein, healthy fats and complex carbs. This might look like 2 scrambled eggs + veggies + whole grain toast with nut butter. Or Greek yogurt + chia + berries + nuts. Or steel cut oatmeal + nut butter + hemp seeds + banana. Or leftovers from last night. Most cultures around the world don’t eat boxed cereal. There are far more savoury items on the menu to break the fast.

One of my breakfasts always used to be cereal, or toast and peanut butter, or sweetened yogurt and a banana. All of these options were high in sugar, low in protein and lacking in fibre. Not only did these meals wreak havoc with my hormones (ep #3 has a great explanation of this), but I was hungry soon after. It set up a cycle of mild panic in the back of my brain that resulted in a lot of snacking after dinner. This interrupts sleep too but that’s another episode.

Eat within 1–2 hours of waking, ideally after your morning light.

So—why does all this matter for sleep?

Because your morning rhythm cues influence every downstream system:

* Your light exposure resets your melatonin clock

* Your nervous system tone carries through your day

* Your blood sugar regulation affects nighttime cal

It’s all connected. If you’re overstimulated, undernourished, or disconnected from the natural rhythms of light and rest, your body doesn’t know when it’s safe to let go. Morning habits send the signal: "You're in sync. You're safe." And that safety is the foundation of great sleep.

Let’s recap your morning-for-better-sleep formula:

* Get outside light within 30–60 minutes of waking

* Begin calmly—no screens, no rushing

* Eat a real breakfast with protein, fats, and complex carbs

* Avoid chaos that spikes stress hormones

* It’s not about being perfect. It’s about creating predictable rhythm and calm. Your morning is the first domino. And if it falls well—bedtime becomes effortless.

If sleep is a struggle, don’t just chase nighttime hacks—start with your morning. You may be surprised how much shifts when you build rhythm, light, calm, and nourishment into your wake-up. Be sure to check the show notes for a link to a FREE morning yoga routine to get you going.

For more help with better sleep, check out my Sleep Solutions Course.

If you’re struggling with sleep, or weight gain, or midlife hormones, please check out the SHE Mindfulness Program. All these subjects are explored in a fresh way without harsh diets or killer exercise routines.

May tonight’s sleep begin… tomorrow morning.

You’ve seen the x-ray. It’s bone on bone. The pain’s been building for years and now surgery feels like the only option.

I get it. I’ve walked this path with so many clients—and here’s what I want you to know:

You don’t have to wait until after surgery to start feeling better.

Today we’re talking about prehabilitation—what it is, why it matters, and how it can help you recover faster, reduce pain, and feel stronger before you ever enter the operating room

Hi, I’m Cheryl Gordon and this is episode #15 of the Midlife Reset podcast. I help midlife women sleep better, lose weight and feel stronger using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

Today I would like to share a new branch of therapy called Prehabilitation. You’ve all heard how important rehab is… well you can start making a positive difference prior to surgery!

Prehabilitation is a personalized exercise, education, and lifestyle program undertaken before surgery to optimize recovery. Often abbreviated as "prehab", it prepares you physically and mentally for the demands of surgery and rehabilitation. It focuses on improving strength, flexibility, cardiovascular fitness, nutrition, and mindset.Research shows patients who do prehab:

* Recover faster

* Use less pain medication post-surgery

* Spend less time in hospital

* Regain mobility more quickly

Think of it like training for a marathon—you wouldn’t show up without preparing!

Here’s how it works.

* Strengthen muscles around the joint - the reason you are facing surgery is because there has been some imbalance in how your muscles are performing. It’s been building for a long time. Some muscles are a little tight, pulling on the bone so it accidentally bumps against tissue it shouldn’t be touching. Other muscles that were designed to work in the opposite direction are probably sleepy. Not pulling their weight. The result is the joint is out of balance. If you, even now the joint has been damaged, start to balance out the function of the muscles, it will bring a little relief. It also prepares you for when you get new hardware. Your muscles will be in a better position to adjust to new movement patterns.

* Improve balance and mobility - post surgery, falls can be catastrophic. Working with yoga poses can give you proprioceptive awareness of how you are walking and moving. Being more mindful of your body reduces accidents and clumsiness.

* Reduce pain and inflammation - movement creates circulation. Fresh fluids flushing through the joint sweep away some of the inflammatory compounds that are causing the swelling, heat and pain. Yoga tools also help calm the mind. Paper cuts always hurt more at the office due to the mindset. It’s a stressful place! So pain signals are received differently in less stressful environments. Regular practice of meditation or breathing techniques can reduce one’s experience of joint pain.

* Manage weight if needed - exercise itself doesn’t result in weight loss. That’s a whole other podcast (ep #2 is one to check out) but yoga will help manage weight in so many ways (check out ep #4 for more info on stress and weight gain). And you know your doctor has pointed out that losing one pound of body weight takes almost 10 pounds of weight off your knee joint.

* Build confidence and reduce anxiety - wait times are long prior to surgery and you hear all the horror stories, right? Yoga gives you a positive place to hang out for a while each day. You know you’re building something better for yourself that will pay dividends in the long run.

How does one do “prehab”? In my “Hip and Knee Release and Strengthen” series, I’ll show you step by step. More on that later. For general joint freeing, this is a free video series that will guide you step by step.

Elements to look for in a prehab program are:

* a Program tailored to your ability - the joint in question is angry and painful. Any movements need to take that into account. We don’t want to create more pain. Using chairs, yoga straps and other props can make positions safer and more accessible.

* Relieve pain as much as possible first. This means nurturing the nervous system with calming practices like restorative yoga and breathing BEFORE exercising the body.

* Mobilize the joint without weight bearing at first. Just lubricate and flush it with simple range of motion movements. This is done really well in my Joint Freeing series. I’ll put a link to these videos in the show notes. I’ve used this practice with my clients for years and I practice some form of it myself every day. It’s really a miracle cure for stiffness and joint pain. Don’t worry… the most popular version of this is done mostly seated in a chair. You won’t have to get down on the floor.

* Gradually build strength in the weaker muscles. Typically, and every one is different, the rear kinetic chain is less responsive and that is what has been pulling the bones out of alignment. The muscles in question are the buttocks, backs of thighs and calves.

* Practice weight bearing exercises with meticulous alignment. These are poses like the warrior series, lunges and chair. Expert instruction can help you recognize how to fire the big mover muscles such as the ones mentioned above as well as the quads. Coordinating the activation in a smooth order eases joint pain.

* If the joint is ready for surgery, no stretching! I’ll cover the detailed reasons for this in an upcoming podcast, but for now, think of it this way. You have swelling, redness and pain. The connective tissue around the joint (think cartilage, tendons, ligaments, fascia, etc) are inflamed and scared. The last thing this part of your body needs is pulling on it. It’s got no stretch to give! In the Hip and Knee Release and Strengthen series, I show many examples of isometric muscle work. This strengthens the muscles but doesn’t cause any pulling. Can be really helpful for calming pain.

* Light exercise such as short walks or bicycle rides may be accessible and can be beneficial. Mostly due to the reduction in stress hormones that results from pleasant activity that you enjoy.

I think the biggest part of a prehab program should be pain and stress management. It is so vital to practice breathing exercises, mindfulness and self compassion just as vigorously as you focus on the exercises. This is preparing your mind for surgery. And your mind is your most powerful recovery tool.

Looking at nutrition to support healing is also essential. It’s so easy to get busy and say “all things in moderation” while we’re knee deep in birthday cake or Doritos. I speak from experience here. In midlife, we just can’t ignore that we are more insulin resistant, more prone to inflammation and decades of stressful lives have taken their toll. (check out ep #3) To address this hormonal challenge, fibre is your friend. Are you getting enough protein? Experts are recommending about 30 gr per meal. Protein is a major building block for connective tissue and muscle. My colleague, Sharlene Styles, has some great nutritional resources on her website so I’ll link to that in the show notes.

What are the best exercises for hip and knee prehab? I’ll guide you step by step in the Hip and Knee Release and Strengthen series. But if you want to get started on your own, I would recommend bridge pose. You can do this in bed if getting down on the floor is tough. I also recommend a yoga block between the knees to stabilize the joints further.

As I mentioned earlier, isometric movement is very effective and doesn’t amp up the pain because the joint isn’t moving. Seated in a chair, with the yoga strap around the thighs, you can practice hip abduction. There are so many other applications of this technique. Leg raises while seated in a chair strengthens quads and heel slides work the hamstrings.

Make sure the movement isn’t making the pain worse. It’s recommended to get the advice of a physio or yoga therapist.

Anyone scheduled for hip or knee replacement will benefit from prehab. And older adults, those with chronic pain, arthritis or obesity also should consider taking charge. When you are going to the doctor and being poked and prodded all over the place, it can be demoralizing. Taking charge of your prehab can at least give you that positive space each day to hang out and visualize how amazing you’ll feel when you’re stronger.

I can’t tell you the number of clients I’ve had over the years who have reported back that their surgeons were amazed by the speed or quality of their recovery. Many clients have even shared that while they were actually waiting to get called in the operating room, they practiced breathing and relaxation techniques. It helped them stay calm in those scary times. Stressed out systems do not have the same amount of energy for healing. And there have been dozens of clients who either put off surgery or cancelled it all together.

Get started on your prehab Asap. The yoga therapy approach is to do small amounts of prehab but frequently. It’s not about exhausting the muscles. No hour long fitness marches. My program suggests about 15 minutes at a time, easeful and relaxed, but repeat that several times per day. It’s the frequency, the repetition grooving new neural pathways that will guide smoother movement.

Prehab isn’t just physical—mental preparation matters too.

* Learn relaxation techniques

* Practice positive visualization of recovery

* Build trust with your health care team

* Helps reduce post-op depression and fear of movement

Prehab is Empowerment. Prehabilitation is an investment in your future mobility. It helps you take an active role in your healing. The stronger and more informed you are going in, the better you’ll come out.

Check out the Hip and Knee Release and Strengthen at home prehab course. The link is in the show notes. Start the Joint Freeing Series using a chair if necessary to lubricate those joints. And let me know how you’re doing.

A few weeks ago, while camping, my husband had a heart attack. It wasn’t his first cardiac crisis. But this time, it dawned that our lives would dramatically change. This wasn’t a fluke. It wasn’t a one time event. I could no longer live in that lovely dreamland of denial.

Welcome to episode 24 of the Midlife Reset podcast. I’m Cheryl Gordon, a yoga therapist committed to educating midlife women around losing weight, feeling stronger and sleeping better using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

Today I’m sharing how I used awareness, curiosity, and deep self-compassion to navigate one of the scariest moments of my life. If you’ve ever faced a crisis and felt completely overwhelmed, this one’s for you.

The last thing I ever want is for people to feel sorry for me. Maybe you can relate.

The reason I’m sharing in today’s podcast is that I want to teach exactly how I used mindfulness to navigate this super scary s**t.

There is sometimes the illusion that those of us who preach peace, harmony and love have this charmed life where we just float around with rainbows and unicorns shooting out our asses. Well meaning friends and family members have cautioned me to not be honest with y’all because you wouldn’t trust my teachings if you thought I had problems too.

Here’s the first tool to navigating a major crisis with mindfulness. Awareness.

In a human life, there will be times of wonderful joy and happiness. And there will absolutely be times when things suck. It’s probably about 50/50. Anyone who says they’re rarely uncomfortable has either had a lobotomy or they are numbing regularly with alcohol, comfort eating, netflixing, over spending or some other buffering behaviour.

Recognizing and allowing those uncomfortable feelings is the first step in mindfulness. It’s ok. You are not broken. My life is not bad because we’re dealing with a health crisis. There is no cloud of doom over my head. It is just life.

How does this look in the moment? By being aware of how I am feeling. Checking in with myself the way I would a close friend. How are you? Can I be your sounding board to help you understand what’s happening for you?

For example, driving to the hospital one day, I felt a dark, dense, depressive fog descend. Not to be dramatic, but I almost felt like I could drive that truck into a guardrail. It was just too much in that moment. The knee jerk reaction was to argue with the feeling. Reason with myself that it wasn’t that bad. Don’t be a weiner. But instead, I gave myself the gift of mindfulness. I dropped awareness into my physical body. I felt heavy in the chest, headachey, almost nauseous. I kept my attention there even though I didn’t like it. I kept another bit of focus on my breathing. Steady and slow. I watched as the sensations slowly shifted. After a few minutes…. I watched on the truck clock ….. I could feel the cloud dissipating. It was really hard not to panic. I know what chronic depression feels like. I don’t want to go back there. But I trust the process.

This example of that drive to the hospital illustrated tool #2 of mindfulness. Curiousity.

Instead of stuffing down the feeling, arguing with why I shouldn’t feel it or acting out around the feeling, I brought an attitude of kindly curiosity to it. I find going into physical sensations helps me stay less panicked and gets me a bit out of my coo-coo head.

Again, it’s like you have a close friend and they’re explaining how they are feeling. You pay attention, ask questions, don’t judge. In a loving relationship, we seek to understand. It’s such a rewarding way to connect.

That’s what I offered to myself that day in the truck on the way to the hospital.

The third tool of mindfulness is embracing.

Think of hugging a loved one…. Embracing them. For that moment, you are very aware of their physical being…. Of how it feels to touch another human and be welcomed into that hug. We absolutely need that sensation to survive, let alone thrive.

In that moment in the truck on the way to the hospital, when I felt the depression cloud suffocating me, I had my back. I knew I could be and should be my own best friend in that moment. So I listened. I stayed present. I cared. I didn’t judge. I gave myself a “hug” by not distracting or numbing out. I let some tears flow. I didn’t beat myself up and call myself weak. I didn’t negate all the self development work I have done in the last few years by saying it is all stupid because I didn’t feel good in that moment.

In the intensity of that emotional storm, I tapped into the deeper, constant rudder of mindful awareness. This is the layer of us that is always the same. The place that we peak out at life from. Our witness self. The essence of this centre is loving kindness. I feel it in my spiritual heart. This is the place within me that I love my dog to an insane degree. This is the place within me that cries at movies. This is the place within me that swells with gratitude when life is beautiful. This is the place within me that finds forgiveness and understanding for those I love. And this is the place where I find self compassion.

Why is any of this relevant to you my friend? Because a crisis happens for all of us.

Like the client who was losing weight but gained it all back when her mom got sick and routines went out the window.

Like the client who got fired a few years from planned retirement. To numb from the shock, she started compulsively shopping. The credit card debt torpedoed her financial goals.

Like the yoga teacher trainee from my old studio who was so looking forward to leading yoga classes. But she broke her arm part way through the training and abandoned any compromise of how to finish the program in despair.

You maybe can find an example in your own experience where something erupted out of nowhere and derailed you from your goals.

This year, my big focus is on building a six figure business. It’s been a learning curve for sure. And lots of challenge. When my husband was in the hospital, I couldn’t even browse a magazine. My brain was so fuzzy from the stress. It would have been so familiar and easy to just give up on my business goal.

This is why mindfulness is soooo amazing. I used the tools. A for awareness. C for curiosity. E for embracing. ACE. The practice helped me acknowledge what was happening but gave me that grounding so I didn’t forget my goals.

I was back at work within a couple days. I’m not distracting myself with busy-ness. I am proceeding with clarity and commitment. I’m not pushing myself to exhaustion just to avoid feeling. I’m taking adequate time to journal, write podcasts, practice yoga.

Thank you for listening to this whole tale. I share it not to get sympathy, as I outlined at the start. But I share this to inspire you to dive into your own mindfulness practice. It is truly a super power.

If you are interested in diving deeper, creating a truly transformative mindfulness routine for your lifestyle, I would encourage you to look into the SHE Mindfulness program. This is the place where I really pulled together all these concepts to rejuvenate my midlife. I used mindfulness to lose the menopausal weight. To learn to have my own back no matter how scary life gets. To feel strong, not only in body, but in mind & spirit.

Let’s face it. As we get older, we see and experience more and more things. It can be overwhelming and depressing. OR we can ACE it with Mindfulness and experience aging as a continuation of the grand adventure of life.

Cheryl Gordon: I have a confession to make. I have a huge sweet tooth, and absolutely love anything salty and crispy. And I eat these things when I'm not hungry.

And I have eaten a lot of these things when I've been feeling stressed, or lonely, or depressed, or hopeless, or overwhelmed, and or, in general, states of grief. This is called emotional eating.

I don't think I'm alone, and my guest today is an expert in helping us understand and change our emotional eating patterns.

So welcome, everyone, to the Midlife Reset Podcast. This is episode number 23, where we guide women through the tools of yoga and mindfulness so they can feel stronger, and sleep better, and live lighter.

I'm your host, Cheryl Gordon, and today, I'm thrilled to sit down with an inspiring expert, Kim Hines. She's a compassionate nutritional health coach who helps women over 40 finally heal their relationship with food and body, without punishing diets or loss of shame.

Kim, I'm so glad you're here, welcome!

Kim Hynes: Hi, Cheryl, I'm honored to be here, and congratulations, episode 23.

Cheryl Gordon: Kim, you can help women break free from emotional eating and those exhausting diets that just… they never really seem to work in the long term. Can you share how your own journey has led you to this sort of holistic approach?

Kim Hynes: Absolutely. I realize, as I go back and I really dig deeper into my own patterns, that it started as young as 8 to 10 years old. I was left at home, and I don't know in Canada what they call it, but in America, we called it being a latchkey kid, where Your parents would go, and the kids would get off the bus, they'd be home alone until dinner when the parents came home, and I got put in charge of my younger brother, which was very stressful, because he just did whatever he wanted.

Younger brothers are. Exactly. So, I would dig in. My mom always had stuff for baking—she had chocolate chips, we had this lemonade that would come in a tub, Country Time lemonade, and it was a powder. I would lick my finger and stick it in the lemonade, because it was all sugar and lemon.

So I found my own ways, because we didn't have a lot of sugar in the house unless my mom baked. Back then, it was a real treat. We didn't have things like Twinkies or anything around. So that was the first that I can remember—under stressful situations, I went looking for it.

In high school, because I had my own money and could go to the little stand, I would skip lunch and grab this package of three Grandma’s cookies and a little carton of milk. That’s what I would have for lunch every day.

The worst of my emotional eating came in college, where I was so stressed out my freshman year. I got put into some really interesting situations when I went away to school, and I really wasn’t ready. I wasn’t mature enough emotionally. Everything that happened to me that year was because I really needed a year at home—but my parents divorced that year, so trying to figure out where I would live, I just went to college.

This is where I could go to the convenience store and nobody would know that I was grabbing the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. And anybody who knows me knows that peanut butter and chocolate is my thing when I’m really stressed out. I gained 25 pounds during that time.

And that is when I also began the diet cycle, where people made comments at home. I even had a boyfriend, when he broke up with me, tell friends that his other girlfriend had a better body.

So when I would restrict and diet—because that's all we knew, was to stop eating and move more—then I would end up binging after doing that for a while. And this restrict-binge cycle just kept going on and on.

Probably the last moments of emotional eating that I was really hooked in was when I unfortunately went through my own divorce. Before I got remarried, I was a single mom for about six years, and getting used to the kids going and spending time with their father, I’d have these weeks alone, week on, week off.

Those were the times that I would really get into it, because I was alone, I was lonely, I was sad, I was getting used to a new situation, and I literally used it to escape. One of my worst nights was when, in my pajamas, I drove to the gas station to get a king-size Hershey chocolate bar.

And so that was my journey. I taught high school math for a while, and on the outside, I was very healthy—I was a marathon runner—but inside, I was dying. I knew in that phase of my life, when I was getting to my late 30s, that I wanted to talk to women about this. I wanted to open up, and I also wanted to help with nutrition and health.

As you know, because you work with midlife women, we were all starting to go through these changes, and I realized that's where I could serve people better. So that journey led me to nutritional health coaching, food addiction coaching, and a lot of other ways for EFT tapping certifications—because I needed so many tools.

Because I had to help myself first.

Cheryl Gordon: Right. And Kim, you're saying all that, and I'm just… I'm cringing for you, because I have been a single mom, I have done the midnight run to the convenience store. For me, it was always the salty, crunchy things that drove me there, though. And I know that crushing loneliness—I know it. So, I’m with you, girlfriend.

In yoga, we often talk about listening to the body. It's often repeated, but you teach that in terms of food.

How does that work in real life, Kim—listening to your body about food?

Kim Hynes: Yes, and it's one of the hardest things to do. It's literally one of the last steps that we get into. We first have to slow the body down. We have to connect with it. And it's great, because you and I have had conversations about this before. I use tapping and breathing in order to help slow the body down.

Kim Hynes: Slowing down and being mindful in every part of our lives has to happen before it can just happen. We can't just do it in food.

So, we are so disconnected, and I love that you brought this question up, because we think, “Oh, we just… we have no willpower, there's something wrong with us, we're gluttonous,” but what's really happening is we've cut ourselves off from feeling any emotion at all. So what we have to work on first is the emotions. How are we processing the emotions? How are we sitting in them? And how are we soothing the body and the mind, and even—when we talk about physical and emotional—also spiritually, in order to enhance our whole life. And I have a saying: I always say, nourish your entire life.

Because we have to nourish the entire life before we can just get to the food, because it's not about the food. We can only connect with our bodies when we've started taking care of ourselves in other parts of our lives.

Cheryl Gordon: So that sounds like self-compassion to me.

Kim Hynes: Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely—grace and self-compassion.

Cheryl Gordon: So, what does that translate to? When you work with your clients and you're trying to get them to be willing to, say, face a strong emotion—like when you were going through that crushing loneliness, when your babies were out of your sight and out of your care for a whole week—how do you deal with something like that? Like, that's visceral, right?

Kim Hynes: It really is, and I think the biggest part for my clients is they just have to be able to talk about it. And so when someone comes to me, we're not just laying out a meal plan, we're not saying, “This food is good, this food is bad.” We're starting with, “What's going on in your life right now, and how are you coping with it?” And we find the tools that we can use in order to cope with those emotions.

When I was going through it, I didn't know that I should be sitting without the TV on. I should be sitting by myself, and I should be allowing the emotion. We're afraid—we're very, very afraid of hurting. We're very, very afraid of being scared, having fear. And when we realize what anxious thoughts really are, they are a base of fear. And when we really get down to it, that fear is not as big as we think it is.

Kim Hynes: It's just something that we have created, because we've lost a little control. We think we've lost control with food, we've lost control of the fear, and we have to bring it down. Sometimes I'll even say to my clients, what is the worst case scenario? What's really the worst thing that can happen right now?

You're gonna be single for a little while. What's the worst case scenario? What's the best case scenario? You fall in love again. You get to go out on some dates. We go through every scenario. So, I am not a mental health counselor. I'm gonna put that disclaimer out there. However, nutritional health coaching and food addiction coaching has a lot of talking involved, not just food and exercise.

Cheryl Gordon: Right. And so many people just say, tell me what to eat, or for me, they'll come to me and say, tell me the magic pose that'll help me to lose weight. If you go on the internet, there's all those silly things, you know? And so, I think we're both saying the same thing, is that you need to be your own best friend.

Kim Hynes: And have those tools to lead you to that self-compassion, and then you can start understanding why you're eating at the gas station at 11:30 am.

Cheryl Gordon: Can we talk about EFT? That's Emotional Freedom Technique, right?

Kim Hynes: Yes. Well, it's really funny, because I started my certification class to learn how to use it for my clients, and it turned out to be my number one tool for myself, because we've talked about meditation and breathing. I find it…

To be a struggle on some days to meditate, and to let go of my thoughts.

And when I finally understood, first of all, meditation isn't just having no thoughts, it's allowing those thoughts to flow. That made sense to me, but I still… my nervous system was still just on edge enough that I couldn't really sit and appreciate that stillness.

So, what tapping is, is we are able to use our acupressure points. And I use the top of the head, the inner eyebrow, the outer cheekbone, under the eye, under the nose, under the mouth, and the collarbone. In fact, I have a free tapping video for anyone who would like it to learn how to use tapping to stop emotional eating. But this tapping really resonated with me, because I found even if I didn't know what was wrong with me, I could just tap.

And all of a sudden, it would come to me. And 99% of the time, my stress was fear-based.

Again, so it's funny how it just comes back around, and when we tap, we have a script, and I teach my clients how to use their own life, and we don't have to use the exact script. And if you don't know what to do, you just tap for a while, and then you can choose a script of, I choose peace. I choose love.

Cheryl Gordon: Whatever resonates with you.

Cheryl Gordon: Speaking of script, this is off-script, but when you were showing your tapping points, they correspond to some energy points that we know in yoga as marma points, and I do think it's quite magic, the way it can help you tune in to some inner peace or inner calm. It's quite… it's quite interesting.

You get exposed to that if you do something like an Indian head massage at a spa or something like that.

Kim Hynes: Yes.

Cheryl Gordon: So, how long does the tapping normally take? What kind of investment of time?

Kim Hynes: Two minutes.

Cheryl Gordon: Two minutes, so that's pretty… immediately.

Kim Hynes: You can do it as much as you want, but it's usually only about 120 seconds. The first time I do it with someone, I ask permission, and I ask, “Can I take 120 seconds of your time to try this?” Because people are a little leery, and it's really interesting — I'm not trying to throw men under the bus, I mostly work with women — but men are the ones that are very skeptical.

And when they go through a session, even just two minutes, when they open their eyes at the very, very end, we close our eyes, and we do a round with our eyes closed, and I tell them where to tap.

And it's funny, because when they open their eyes, you can see the shift that they've made.

Cheryl Gordon: Yeah, because eyes really do show whether you're in a stress response, or a relaxation response, or you're fluid in that. Eyes will show that right away.

Kim Hynes: Yes.

Cheryl Gordon: So that's amazing. That's a really immediate, really accessible tool that people can take, and people can download your free guide.

Kim Hynes: Absolutely.

Cheryl Gordon: Really no excuse not to jump in.

Kim Hynes: Exactly, and something funny that I've had my clients do is they just will do it on their collarbone in the car when they're stressed out with traffic. They'll be at a stoplight, and they'll just sit on their collarbone, and they'll just tap away, and it helps soothe them.

And if you think about it, think about babies or kids that have little tics that they use to feel better — whether they're feeling skin, playing with a blanket — tapping is a similar soothing response, and this can take the place of soothing yourself with food.

Cheryl Gordon: Yeah, so when I'm having that craving at night, when I want to not feel lonely, or not feel sad, or any of those really big emotions, you could try a technique like tapping. What are some of the other tools that you might bring into a session?

Kim Hynes: Yeah, so I talk about some physical tools that I would like them to be doing on a regular basis.

One of the first things is consciously nourishing your body throughout the day. We're finding that there's too much of the diet culture in our brains. Women our age, we grew up with the things like SlimFast, and the dieting, and South Beach Diet, and all the different diets, grapefruit diet… my mom did a liquid medical diet at one point. So we are not used to actually purposely putting the right foods in our bodies. We're used to taking out things—and that's restriction—and our brain reacts to that negativity. When we are adding really good food into our bodies, it’s a whole different signal.

I feel like, again, that's very personal—what works best in your body—and I want you to work with an expert on it if you're not sure. But I'm just gonna use me as an example. Please only use this as my example for Kim. I think everyone should have their own plan. So this is the Kim plan: I feel best when I nourish myself four times a day.

And I don't call it snacking—it's my third meal, for example. One, two, three, four. Four times a day, and I have a lot of protein and fiber, a lot of fruits and vegetables, and a lot of water. My body runs better, and I'm not as depleted at the end of the day. Doesn't mean I'm not going to want that little habit chocolate, but I am not going to be dying for the carbs and the sugar, because when we're so depleted, the first thing our body wants is that glucose. We want to grab something that's going to give us energy. So consciously nourishing is the first thing.

The second thing is walking, and we all have exercise in different forms—whether it's running, weightlifting, yoga—but walking is so powerful, because when we are walking, not only are we stabilizing our blood sugar (like the food is also doing), but when we move our eyes and our legs at the same time, we have two sides of our brain working, and we are processing our day and our emotions.

Cheryl Gordon: I did not know that.

Kim Hynes: It's fascinating and really powerful. The problem we have with walking is we take our phones with us. It's okay if you want that for an emergency, and if you're listening to something nice, that's great, or you're learning, but when you're walking and trying to return text messages and emails, you're defeating the purpose.

The other thing is seeing nature. When we see green, our bodies respond really well, and we have a calming effect with that nature around us.

Kim Hynes: And, obviously, the tapping is one of the tools.

And I do ask people to consciously breathe. Because as you know, because you've taught me breathing, we have a shallowness in our chest when we're anxious, and we breathe very tight, very short. When we can lengthen that breathing and fill ourselves up and slow it down, it brings the heart rate down also.

And that gives us a fighting chance to make some decisions, because by the end of the day, we've had decision fatigue. The end of the day is a hot spot for people, and we've made too many decisions in the day. Food’s just… we're 5% on our battery at that point.

Another tool is to have a transition — a transition between 4 and 5 o’clock and dinner — where you're saying, “I'm home, I'm relaxed, I don't need to reward myself. My reward is being here, I'm done with work.” Closing down work and being all there for yourself in the evening.

There are so many other tools, but those are the things that I start with that they have control over until we get control over the emotions and can process those better. Some people do not like journaling, but some people do, so we find prompts they can use. If people can't journal, I have them leave voice messages for me, where they just talk right in and tell me what's going on.

Cheryl Gordon: Yeah, I love that, because it is really important to have a sounding board. If a journal can be that for you, or if you have a coach, they can be your sounding board. Now, Kim, you also have a podcast.

Kim Hynes: Yes. And I also had a very special guest today on my podcast.

Cheryl Gordon: Hi, Cheryl.

Kim Hynes: By the way.

Cheryl Gordon: Full disclosure, it was my first time guesting on someone else's podcast. It was quite fun. Thank you, Kim.

Kim Hynes: Oh, and I can't wait for your listeners to listen to it, because you did a fantastic job.

Cheryl Gordon: I think we're going to become quite fast friends, you and I, Kim. So anyway, tell us about your podcast.

Kim Hynes: The Emotional Eats Podcast started off with a vision that I wanted to have long-form content for midlife women. I really wanted to explore the idea that we consume so much more than just food in our world. There's so much that women have been conditioned to buy, and I wanted to break through that diet culture and really get into health, especially perimenopausal and menopausal health.

As the podcast has gone on, I've also incorporated my solo episodes around, mostly, emotional eating. Sometimes I go off on other topics, like friendships, because midlife friendships are different, or traveling — what do you do when you're on vacation, and how do you bring that back? There are so many things we can talk about.

I also wanted to have a platform where it wasn't just me, because I don't know everything. The functional medicine doctors, the fitness trainers, and all the different viewpoints we’ve had on the show have been amazing — including yours — where we just have different tools and perspectives, things I wouldn’t even think of. So, The Emotional Eats Podcast — you are going to be episode 122.

Cheryl Gordon: So, it's been quite a journey.

Kim Hynes: It’s been a lot of learning, because this is a day-to-day process, but I love it. I just want to share, because there are so many great people out there. It’s not just about me — it’s about other experts who have a lot to share.

Cheryl Gordon: And I really enjoyed our visit this morning when we recorded episode 122.

Kim Hynes: Yes.

Cheryl Gordon: Now, Kim, there's one thing I wanted to bring in, because I think you have a lot to offer in this area. It's something that I'm fascinated with, and that's gut health. I know that there's a huge connection to mood and nervous system function, and I know you work with your clients on this.

Kim Hynes: Yes, what we're finding is… I'm very blessed. I have an ARPN in town, and she does hormone and gut testing, and I send a lot of my clients to her.

Because what we're finding is a lot of women who are struggling with emotional eating have two things going on. One, they're going through the regular hormonal changes where the drop in estrogen and progesterone is really affecting all of their hormones, including ghrelin and leptin, which are hunger and satisfaction hormones, serotonin, and our gut is connected with the serotonin. Our immune system is in our gut, so the hormones we take care of, but then we also… and she tests for me, also, just regular things, because we really do need to know our regular blood work. But she looks at it from a functional medicine side.

The other side of it is we're also finding, due to environmental toxins and the types of foods we've been eating, that there are a lot of women having gut dysbiosis. It could be parasites, bacteria, Candida, SIBO — so many different things. Just getting tested is the most important way that we can jump on it and get started. What I am really excited about is when I own a practice with two therapists.

We have so many referrals going back and forth. The referrals I get from the therapists are people who have anxiety and depression — that’s a majority of my clients that come from them as referrals. We know there is a definite connection between gut health and mental health. When we're not getting the nutrition that we need, we're messing up that neurotransmission between the brain and the gut. It can really affect mood, agitation, and anxious thoughts.

That's why I like to have people, even though I don't want to force them into a way of eating, see the pros and cons of eating a really balanced, nutritious plan so that their brain is working well. You need every fighting chance to stay out of the food that is going to make both the brain and the gut not work well.

Cheryl Gordon: Yeah, if we want to battle emotional eating, we need every tool in our arsenal, and having a healthy gut biome really gives you the support so that emotions don't sweep you away. You don't feel so victimized by them.

You also have your quick little “10 Easy Tips to Stop Stress Eating.” Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Kim Hynes: Yes, I think everyone can relate to stress eating. It's hard to call yourself an emotional eater sometimes, because you may not realize what it is, but it really can be the same thing. There are so many ways that, throughout the day, if it's just straight-up overwhelm, burnout, stress, we can protect ourselves a little better. One of my favorite things that you and I have talked about is being in the present moment, which is so challenging. I encourage everyone to take a mini break every hour, even if it's just for 5 minutes — off the phone, off the computer.

To breathe and separate. Our brain is going back-to-back-to-back all the time. We have zero space, zero stillness. The power of stillness is to make really good decisions, but we can't wait till 5 o'clock to have stillness. We need to start first thing in the morning, start our day in quiet.

Have a non-chaotic, peaceful morning — not flying out the door. I laugh because I was that woman, flying out the door, coffee in hand, bag on my shoulder, trying to find my keys. One time, my bag got caught on the door handle and yanked me right back in the house — it was basically my wake-up call: slow it down. But every hour, just take a moment to breathe and make sure you are eating and drinking your water.

With stress, we can anticipate it. I ask people to look at their stress calendar. When you look in your calendar, instead of just saying, “I have a 3 o’clock, 4 o’clock, 5 o’clock, 6 o’clock appointment,” ask yourself: where am I going to have stress today, and how can I head that off? When you anticipate it a little, you can head it off. Otherwise, when we're not in the moment, we are caught off guard. That's when we swing through the drive-thru, grab the sweet soda, the extra cup of coffee, or the cookie at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. We are caught off guard.

Our brain goes into automatic habit mode. It just says, “Oh, I just need something,” and the higher brain is not even present when we're in automatic mode. Some of the tips involve just taking a minute. One thing that's really good when you're stressed out is humming. Humming is really good for the vagal nerve and calming your nervous system. Singing a song works, too. Those are just some of the tips.

Cheryl Gordon: Okay, so people can find that on your website. We'll put the link in the show notes, and I would really encourage people to look into the tapping and the 10 top tips for beating stress eating, because we can all relate to that.

Cheryl Gordon: It's been amazing having this conversation, Kim. Thank you so much. When I'm in Florida next time, I'd love to come by and see you.

Kim Hynes: That would be amazing. I would pick winter instead of summer. If I ever make it north of the border, I will definitely make sure we get together.

Cheryl Gordon: You got a spare bedroom to stay in, girlfriend.

Kim Hynes: I love it.

Cheryl Gordon: Be sure you look into Kim's two free resources: the Guide to Emotional Freedom Technique, which is a tapping program that will help you calm down and make better decisions around food (and many other areas), and the top 10 tips for beating stress eating. All of us can benefit from that. I'm also including in the show notes a couple of other resources you might find helpful — like my Five Steps to Mindful Eating. A lot of overlap, but it doesn’t hurt.

Kim Hynes: Do your research, right?

Cheryl Gordon: Yes, perfect. Thank you so much, Kim. Have a wonderful afternoon. Namaste.

Kim Hynes: Thank you, Cheryl. Namaste.

C: Let’s get real, girlfriends—how is it that we’ve had babies, managed families, worked our butts off, and hit midlife still unclear on our own plumbing? We whisper about leaking when we laugh or cry quietly about pain during sex, all while pretending everything’s fine. But it’s not. And we deserve better. This episode of the Midlife Reset is your permission slip to get curious, get informed, and take back control of your pelvic health, your pleasure, and your confidence. 

I’m talking with the one and only Dr. Teresa Irwin—aka The Vaginacologist—about everything they never taught us in health class but should have. This conversation is bold, eye-opening, and just what midlife women everywhere need right now.I am thrilled to welcome Dr. Teresa Irwin. After initially training as a nurse, Dr. irwin became one of less than 1500 board certified specialists in female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery (FPMRS), AKA urogynecology.  She practices in Texas and has repeatedly been selected as the top doctor in that state and a top ob/gyn nationally as well.

T: After years of doing surgery on severe bladder and vaginal dysfunctions, I realized that many of the problems my patients were suffering from could have been prevented with education on their own reproductive health. So, I decided to become an educator to put myself out of business, just kidding (sort of). I provide preventative education in an effort to reduce the amount of women who need the surgery I perform. Ultimately, I want to drastically reduce the amount of women who suffer from vaginal and bladder dysfunctions. I am making this education accessible to increase the quality of life of women all over the world.

So I’m proud to refer to myself as a “vaginacologist”.

C: I have to be honest here.  I am getting emotional just hearing this.  You are talking about the very essence of being a woman.  And we have been socialized to ignore ourselves and feel shame about admitting we have concerns.

T: Women's reproductive health education is not easily accessible, nor is it taught adequately in school. This puts women at a higher risk for developing bladder, bowel, and vaginal dysfunctions. These disorders cost women time, money, and happiness. I want to empower women to take control of their reproductive health through essential preventative education.

C: Amen sister!  I just can’t thank you enough for going to bat for women everywhere but especially for visiting with us today.  I’m just starting on my podcast journey.  The best part has been meeting amazing women like you, Dr. Irwin.  I’m just learning so much and it’s a privilege to be able to bring this information to women like us.

So, let’s get specific about the education that you offer.  Over 50% of women will experience incontinence, at some point in their lives, but not enough seek support.  We did an episode with my pelvic floor physiotherapist (#10 if you want to look it up my friends) so I’m definitely one of that cohort.  What would you like women to know if they are leaking in their undies or afraid to be too far from the restroom?

T: There’s a lot to that question, but I’ll do a quick summary, since we’ll probably touch on more of it later in the podcast. Some of the main tips are:

* Doing proper Kegel exercises (most of us don’t do them correctly—I didn’t, until I really got into my subspecialty)

* Using correct toilet positioning for both peeing and pooping

* Avoiding certain bladder irritants that cause frequent and urgent contractions

* Learning how to drink water properly—yes, there’s actually a right way

All of this takes time, energy, and patience, but it’s important. We can mitigate, maybe not all, but some of the issues we develop as a result of childbirth, aging, and gravity.

C: And just general wear and tear! I love what you're saying. Let's start with Kegels. Are they helpful all the time? You know, so often in women’s groups, it's the go-to solution: “Are you doing your Kegels?” Can you expand on that a bit?

T: Sure. Kegels are central to many of the preventative strategies you can do, and they’re simple—if done correctly. But they’re not helpful for every woman. For example, someone with painful bladder syndrome, also called interstitial cystitis, might actually feel worse doing Kegels.

That said, for most women, they’re very important. One tip I share is this: Most people think doing a Kegel means squeezing your urethral sphincter—like holding your pee. But actually, it’s more important to squeeze your anal sphincter. That’s because the muscles around the urethra are very small, while the ones around the anus are much larger. You activate more of your pelvic floor by engaging the anal muscles.

C: Oh! In yoga, we call that Ashwini Mudra, for all my yogi listeners.

C: Now, you also mentioned correct toileting positions—can we dive into that?

T: Sure! I have some educational videos on this, but here’s a quick overview:

For peeing:Lean forward while sitting on the toilet. Rest your elbows on your knees with your feet flat on the floor. Why? Because one-third of the bladder lies below the urethra (your pee tube), and if you’re upright, that part might not fully empty. Think of pouring water from a bottle—if you don’t tip it all the way, some water stays behind.

Another position is to turn around and hug the back of the toilet bowl, leaning forward. You could also pee standing up like a guy—but that takes some technique or a device like a pee funnel to avoid accidents. These are super handy for camping or travel.

Now for pooping:The ideal position is using a squatty potty or a similar stool (7–9 inches high). You place your feet on it while sitting on the toilet, which raises your knees. This helps relax a muscle called the puborectalis, which normally kinks the rectum when you're sitting upright. Elevating your legs "unkinks" it and allows for better bowel emptying.

A lot of people don’t even realize they’re not emptying fully. If stool is higher up in the rectum, you won’t feel the urge in the same way. So this position really helps—plus it lowers your risk of a rectocele, which is when the rectum bulges into the vaginal wall from too much pressure.

C: Wow, I’ve got some research to do! Are these videos available on your website?

T: They’re actually easier to find on my TikTok, Instagram, Youtube and Facebook.

C: I also know you have educational booklets available for download, including one on toileting positions. These are really simple, common sense.  Why do we not learn this in school for heaven’s sake!

T: You know, it takes a lot of time and effort as a doctor to go over all this stuff. You can’t just say it—you actually have to explain it. And unfortunately, we’re trained in medical school to treat problems, not to prevent them. So, from a time standpoint, prevention becomes inefficient in the traditional medical model.

That’s why my rule is this: Every patient I see for pelvic floor issues is referred to a pelvic floor therapist. She has the time to go into detail and cover everything thoroughly. Honestly, I kind of joke that I’m an imposter on my own website because many of the resources I share are things I’ve learned from pelvic floor therapists!

And I’ll say this—I will not operate on someone unless they’ve seen the pelvic floor therapist at least once. Of course, they usually go for more than one session, but one is the minimum.

These practices are essential after surgery to prevent recurrence of symptoms. They truly make a difference.

(see episode 10: How I Stopped Peeing all the Time)

C: The other topic we’ve been alluding to is libido. I know you hear this a lot from midlife women. You’ve even got a downloadable booklet on your website that outlines the seven organs of sexual desire.

T: Yes! And thank you for mentioning that. One reason libido isn’t talked about more is that it’s been such a taboo subject for so long. I’m a prime example. I was raised Catholic, and in that environment, sex was taught as something only for procreation. I carried a lot of shame for a long time, even though I waited until I was in my twenties to have sex. Still, I was made to feel like I was doing something wrong.

That’s part of the issue—and the other part is education. Most research and resources around sexual function have been focused on men. There are dozens of medications and procedures approved for male sexual health. But when it comes to women? Only one FDA-approved medication exists for female libido—and it’s only for premenopausal women. Not even menopausal women.

So, let’s go through the seven organs of sexual desire:

* The Brain – This is the primary organ of sexual desire. If you’re dealing with stress, fatigue, body image issues, resentment toward your partner, or constant interruptions (hello, motherhood!), your libido is going to take a hit. You have to address these mental and emotional blocks to even begin feeling aroused.

* Vestibular Glands (Bartholin’s Glands) – These are located at the back of the vaginal opening near the labia minora and stimulate secretions during sexual excitement. They’re similar to the male bulbourethral glands.

* Skene’s Glands (Periurethral Glands or the Female Prostate) – These sit on either side of the urethra and produce prostatic-specific antigen (PSA), which plays a role in female ejaculation and helps prevent urinary tract infections.

* The G-Spot (more accurately, the G-Area) – This is a roughly 3 cm area located between the vagina and the anus. It contains erectile tissue that swells during arousal, compresses the vaginal walls, and enhances sensation for both partners.

* Clitoral Bulbs (Vestibular Bulbs) – These are elongated erectile tissues that sit on either side of the vaginal opening and connect to the clitoris. During arousal, they engorge with blood, creating a tighter cuff around the vaginal opening, which increases pleasure and sensitivity.

* The G-Area Again (Surrounding the Urethra) – During arousal, this area becomes engorged and compresses the urethra to prevent leakage during sex. Many women aren’t aware, but urinary incontinence during sex is a real issue—and this part of the anatomy helps prevent that.

* The Clitoris – The superstar! The clitoris is similar to the male penis and can measure up to 7 cm in length. It has three parts: the glans (the visible tip), the shaft, and the internal legs. It contains the highest concentration of nerve endings in the body and exists solely for pleasure. Unlike the penis, it has no role in reproduction or urination—its one job is orgasm.

C: So Mother Nature definitely had something in mind for us! I’m honestly stunned by how much is going on down there. I had no idea what most of those structures were, let alone their names.

T: That’s exactly why I created a PDF resource. You can look it over anytime as a refresher.C: One thing that shocked me was the pain during intercourse.  My tissues went from steamy jungle to the Sahara almost overnight!

T: By age 30, women have already experienced a 50% reduction in testosterone—which is wild. Age 30 is so young! And yet we’re already seeing that hormonal shift.

As you move into perimenopause and menopause, things change even more. Perimenopause refers to the years around menopause—typically lasting two to six years—and menopause itself is defined as the point when you haven’t had a period for 12 months (assuming you have a uterus).

With menopause comes a host of symptoms, and one major issue is painful sex. That pain is largely due to the drop in estrogen, which leads to vaginal atrophy. Estrogen stimulates collagen production and helps maintain the thickness and elasticity of tissues in the urethra, bladder, and vagina.

When estrogen—particularly estradiol—drops significantly from premenopausal levels, the tissues thin out, lubrication decreases, and microtears can develop. This not only causes discomfort during sex but also raises the risk of bladder infections.

The thinning and weakening of those tissues also contributes to common issues I treat regularly, like incontinence and prolapse—where pelvic organs begin to descend due to a weakening pelvic floor.

C: And I guess that early drop in testosterone helps explain some of the libido issues, too—not to mention the stress that accumulates over decades of trying to be everything to everyone. That constant push to be the perfect mother, partner, friend, or employee... it builds up resentment and emotional fatigue, and we rarely stop to process it.

C: We’ve talked about incontinence issues and opened the door to admit that sex can be complicated for midlife women.  Whew!  That’s good work. 

C: And this isn’t the end of the conversation, right?  You have some excellent resources through your website that our listeners can download right now.  I am also offering a free one hour yoga class based on what I learned from my pelvic floor physio.  This is what I did to avoid having to see a surgeon later on. 

Your pleasure and confidence are important.  We have so many more years to show the world what we’re about.  It’s not time to retire to the front porch rocking chair yet.

How many people do you know who’ve had knee replacement surgery… and were shocked when it didn’t fix the pain or restore their mobility? The truth is, your knee may be screaming — but your hip might be the one whispering the root cause.

In this episode, I’m breaking down what no one tells you in standard rehab: why working your hips might just be the smartest thing you can do for your knees — before or after surgery. If you or someone you love is dealing with chronic knee pain, don’t skip this one.

Welcome to the Midlife Reset podcast, episode 21. I’m your host, Cheryl Gordon. I educate midlife women on losing weight, feeling stronger and sleeping better using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

When Mary Lou came to me, she had been told her knee was “bone on bone”. The only real option her medical team discussed was replacement. This is an invasive surgery with a tremendous amount of pain during recovery. If you’ve had knee replacement or a loved one has been through it, you know what Mary Lou was facing.

Mary Lou wanted to do what she could to cope with her mobility restrictions because there was still quite a wait before surgery. Her friend had recommended my approach… yoga therapy. It’s crazy that the doctors made her feel guilty for holding a few extra pounds (“so much more pressure on the knee joint!”) But there was no guidance on how to move more comfortably now.

After working with hundreds of clients like Mary Lou, I have developed an evidence based protocol that addresses most of the needs for sore knees and hips. We start with gentle, relaxation based practices that help calm the pain response.

For Mary Lou, her knee had been progressively getting worse for over a decade. This reduced the amount she wanted to move which made moving more and more painful. What a vicious circle!

Research explains how sensations from the body are transmitted to the brain via chemical messengers called neurons. These are nerve cells. There is no pain until the brain gets these signals and decides that something is wrong. The brain is super efficient at keeping you safe. If it perceives danger, it’s going to give you a jolt to wake you up. Pay attention! Something is horribly wrong! When the knee joint is out of alignment, maybe bone is rubbing on bone… maybe there is an erosion of cartilage… the brain just knows to stop doing whatever you’re doing that created that danger signal.

It’s at the level of the brain that us humans have the potential to create a mindset that isn’t as reactionary. We can train ourselves to not be quite so nervous.

One of my teachers was involved in the classic research study where people reported their levels of pain after a paper cut at work. Then the researchers compared reported pain levels when people got the same paper cut reading the weekend funnies at home. Totally different experience because of the mindset. At work, we’re stressed… distracted… on a deadline… tired. At home, laughing with Peanuts, we’re less stressed. The brain receives the sensation under a different pretence and reacts differently.

For Mary Lou, she would step down on a stair and feel a jolt in her knee. Her brain panicked that the knee was going to give out on the stairs… She’d fall… She wouldn’t be able to manage simple household tasks anymore… her daughter would be angry with her for climbing stairs… you get it. Stressed, right?

So our first job was to calm the stress.

Now we went to work on how to get some mobility into the knee without aggravating the joint. In the protocol, there are several poses that do not weight bear heavily on the joint but help muscles to engage and strengthen. I love isometric work for the muscles. This means you make the muscle fire but it doesn’t change shape. Which means, it doesn’t pull on tendons which are often inflamed and angry in these situations. The effect is the muscles around the joint get stronger with pulling or pushing on it.

The real “secret sauce” to my protocol, and what made Mary Lou’s recovery from replacement surgery so much different, was our whole body focus. The knee didn’t get to this stage all on its own. It’s part of a kinetic chain. Just one member of the team. Everyone has to be reminded to do their parts.

Here's why exercising the hip joint helps knee pain:

1. The hip controls the leg

The hip joint is the major weight-bearing joint above the knee. If it’s weak, tight, or not moving well, the knee often ends up compensating, leading to pain.

Of the 11 muscles that move the knee joint, 7 cross the to the hip. You just can’t talk knees without looking at hip function.

(Share screen) Muscles like the glutes, hip rotators, and hip abductors (especially gluteus medius) are key stabilizers. When these are weak, the knee may collapse inward (valgus), twist, or become misaligned during walking or standing — aggravating pain.

Stiff hips force the body to twist or overuse the knees during everyday movements like squatting, walking, or climbing stairs. Restoring hip range of motion helps distribute movement more evenly.

The body works as a chain. If one joint isn't working well (like a stiff or weak hip), the joints above and below (low back, knee) try to make up for it. That’s often how knee pain develops even though the knee isn’t the real problem.

In Mary Lou’s case, she had knee pain when walking, and we determined her glutes were weak. So her thigh internally rotated and the knee was caving in with each step. Strengthening the glutes and improving hip control reduced that misalignment and eased pressure on the knee. This is a very common pattern.

You can tell that the glute med might be the culprit, at least in part, if you press around this area of the buttocks and feel a sore spot. It can be quite tender to touch. One thing we did with Mary Lou was get her into a program of using a tennis or massage ball against a wall. This really helped work out the tension. (Demonstrate)

While we’re talking brass tacks, here’s my favourite way to work knees without putting too much pressure on them. (Demo chair with tie, knee pumps)

1. Supine Bridge (Glute Bridge) can be done in bed if getting to the floor is tough right now.

What it does: Strengthens glutes and hamstrings.

2. Standing Abduction at wall with resistance OR seated in chair with glute band or just hands

What it does: Targets glute medius (important for knee alignment). Supports knee tracking during walking and stairs.

5. Mini Squats (with hips in focus)

What it does: Builds coordination between hips and knees.

How to do it: Stand with feet hip-width apart, do a small squat (no more than 30° knee bend). Focus on pressing through the heels and sending hips back.

Why it helps: Trains safe movement patterns without deep knee bend.

6. Wall Sit with Glute Activation

What it does: Static strength for glutes and thighs.

How to do it: Slide your back down a wall until knees are at 45–60° (not 90° if knee pain is present). Press knees out slightly to activate glutes.

🧠 Tips for Success:

Form matters more than reps — go slow and controlled.

No pain rule: If the knee hurts during an exercise, stop or modify.

Focus on hips and glutes, not quads. Avoid exercises that overload the knee (e.g., deep lunges, stairs too early).

Props like yoga blocks, bands, or chairs can make exercises safer and more accessible.

Exercising the hip can address the root causes of knee pain and when you get that new hardware, the most important part of rehab is already done!

Mary Lou still had her surgery. But during the wait, she had something productive to work on. When her physio talked to her about rehab, she was primed. She understood why she was doing what she was doing and made great strides. She told me the best part of the protocol for her though was learning the relaxation piece. There is a tremendous shock to the whole system with surgery. She found the calming practices really helpful for recouping from that.

I have this whole protocol available online now. It’s 11 videos that are all under 20 minutes. The Hip and Knee Release and Strengthen series is helpful for those waiting for knee replacement, like Mary Lou, and those recovering. I’ve also had great success with hip surgeries.

You can find this on my website or by clicking on the link in the show notes. It costs $19 and you can use the videos as often as you like. Please be sure to share this information with someone you care about who is suffering with knee pain.

I’m so happy to share this information with you each week. The more people who learn these things, the happier I’ll be. Subscribe to the podcast too so you don’t miss an episode.

🔑 Key Themes:

* Bladder issues in midlife aren’t just about Kegels, surgery, or medication.

* The root cause is often dysregulation in the autonomic nervous system—especially chronic fight-or-flight activation.

* Pelvic floor muscles are deeply connected to nervous system function, not just mechanical strength.

🧠 The Nervous System Connection:

* The pelvic floor is innervated by the autonomic nervous system, which has two branches:

* Sympathetic (fight or flight): sends resources to the heart, lungs, and big muscles.

* Parasympathetic (rest and digest): nourishes the pelvic and abdominal organs.

* When women live in chronic stress mode, the sympathetic system dominates, which disrupts bladder function even if the bladder itself is healthy.

🩺 Common Causes of Pelvic Floor Dysfunction:

* Childbirth (pregnancy, labor, delivery)

* Chronic constipation

* Chronic coughing

* Chronic stress and nervous system overdrive

🧘‍♀️ Bladder Urgency Isn’t About a Full Bladder:

* Many women feel a strong urge to pee (like rushing from the car to the bathroom) even when the bladder isn’t full.

* This urgency is nervous system-driven, not about bladder capacity.

* The feeling of “I’m not going to make it” is a behavioral and neurological response, not a small bladder.

🌙 Nighttime Urination (Nocturia):

* Getting up to pee multiple times at night is often a sign of nervous system arousal, not fluid intake.

* Simply telling women to “stop drinking before bed” misses the root cause.

🧠💪 What Helps:

* Retraining the nervous system to feel safe—through movement, breath, body awareness.

* Exercises and practices that target the nervous system-pelvic floor connection.

* Recognizing and addressing chronic sympathetic dominance even after life “should” be calmer (like after the kids grow up).

We’ve all heard it: “Gotta do your cardio!” I used to believe that too—spending hours sweating on the treadmill, chasing calorie burn in the hopes of shedding pounds. But here's the truth… it didn’t work. And honestly? It just made me exhausted and hungry.

Now I can promise you, that if you follow my advice, you can achieve your fitness goals and gain another 8 free hours this week. Yup. Eight hours wide open to spend doing something fun!

In today’s episode, we’re busting the cardio myth wide open. I’ll walk you through the real science of how your body burns energy, why excessive cardio can actually backfire—especially for midlife women—and what to do instead to protect your strength, your time, and your sanity.

If you’re sick of being told to “just move more” to lose weight, this episode is for you.

Let’s reset your relationship with movement—starting now.

Welcome to episode 19 of the Midlife Reset Podcast. I’m Cheryl Gordon Yoga Therapist. I’m on a mission to educate midlife women on how to lose weight, sleep better and feel stronger using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

Here’s the science around cardio exercise.

Energy in and energy out works for nuclear fusion or basic electricity. But we are humans. Our system is dynamic and brilliant and considers so many complex variables that it can never be as simple as calories in and calories out. And even with mechanical things like the gas mileage on your car. It’s never exactly as advertised because there is temperature, terrain, wind, and so many variables. Your bodies are infinitely more complicated than a car.

The body is designed to be ultra efficient. The first few moments of a brisk walk, run, cycle or stair climb taxes the system as it rushes to cope with the changing load. Soon, the body compensates and shifts to maximize efficiency. For most of human existence, we have had a shortage of food. We have evolved to conserve calories at all cost. And we’re very good at making these adjustments quickly.

In fact, in episode #2 of this podcast, my colleague Sharlene Styles explained the Total Daily Energy Expenditure calculation really well. This makes it all so clear why blowing it out with cardio exercise is just not necessary to lose weight. I’ll put the link to episode #2 in the show notes. Briefly, about 70% of the calories you will burn today will be based on your Basal Metabolic Rate. This is the energy your body needs to just lie around and breathe. (Spoiler alert: we’ll talk more in a few minutes, but this is why your personal trainer is going on and on about building muscle… muscle requires more calories just to lay around than other tissue). Then you burn another 10% of your calories just processing the food you eat. So 80% of the calories you’ll burn today are just about surviving. No treadmills yet. The next 15% of the calories you’ll burn is in movement… just normal going up and down the stairs to do laundry… walking the dog… cooking dinner, etc. That’s a lot right? And finally, 5% will be related to specific exercise activities. Even elite athletes still break down to this basic percentage.

Why wouldn’t we burn a bunch more calories if we really “blew it out”? Because your body has evolved to be that super efficient machine. I can’t leave my front door right now and run a marathon. I haven’t been training for that. I don’t have the endurance.. the stamina. But (if I was super crazy) I could begin training. In other words, conditioning my body to accept greater and greater demands without a proportionate draw on my energy stores. What you consider “blowing it out” on the treadmill is actually something your body has seen before and it’s ready for you. It will shift quickly into the most efficient expenditure of energy.

This is why those calorie counters on your phone, watch or exercise machine are NEVER accurate. They rarely take into account that 15% for normal living. That’s where the real magic is. Research shows that just becoming more mobile through every day activities can up your caloric burn by 500 calories. No jogging required! The reason is the variability of the movement. The body is constantly upended in its quest to get you into an efficient rhythm.

Extending a cardio session will burn calories but there are systemic costs. Repetitive movements (long steady state cardio like cycling) can exacerbate imbalances in muscle function, potentially inviting injury. As midlife women, the drop in hormones leaves us a little more vulnerable, particularly to soft tissue damage. Think knee arthritis. So common in midlife women and maybe unnecessary???

And here’s what really freaks me out. Cardio load past 30 minutes searches for deeper fuel like proteins found in muscle tissue. Like the classic couriers that were all rope and sinew body types. You may lose all important strength pushing unnecessarily.

Muscle mass declines year by year after 30 years old. More so in women than men. Next time you are at the hospital, look around. Count the women who have fallen and broken something. They may be a little older than you now, but when they were your age they maybe pushed on the treadmill too. Thinking they were staying in shape. No one explained that they needed to prioritize muscle and strength.

When you combine the erosion of muscle mass with the hormonal changes women go through, you can see the risk of what the medical community calls sarcopenia. It’s a general weakening of strength leading to frailness and risk of falls. Number one killer of women 65+ who have had accidents.

So pushing yourself to burn more calories on the treadmill isn’t great.

But the biggest cost may be in the time necessary. Cardio workouts with weight loss as the goal require hours. This takes away from all the other joyful activities you may desire. It may leave you quite exhausted afterward.

When I was working, feeling my desk job was causing me to gain weight, I would push and go to the gym after work. I’d spend about 40 minutes on the treadmill (gotta burn 400 calories, right?) And then move on to the stair climber. That was cross training, or so I thought. Then I’d get home thinking I had burned 600 calories. I was exhausted and starving. No personal chef. And two teenagers with the classic “when’s dinner” greeting. What do you think I was thinking? Let’s just order pizza. I can afford it cause I worked out, right??? But I never lost weight. I just got more and more exhausted. And ate less and less healthy. And the 4 slices of pizza I gobbled because I was STARVING were way more than 600 calories. It doesn’t take any time at all to eat 600 calories.

But isn’t it important to get your 10,000 steps in for cardio vascular health?

Getting the “blood pumping” is excellent for overall health, but 20 - 30 minutes of the activity provides full benefit. McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario has been a leading force in the international research around this for over 20 years.

Cardio vascular benefits can be most efficiently gained through varied activities like HIIT, dancing, varied terrain hiking, sports that require many positional changes. Three or four sessions of 30 minutes per week is enough. Compare the time invested in walking on city streets for 10,000 steps (probably 1.5 hours for most people x 7 days = 10.5 hrs per week) to the recommended guidelines of 2 hours. What could you do with a gift of 8.5 free hours this week? That’s a whole work day off!

So the answer is no. Cardio doesn’t help you lose weight. Moving is super important for all your body’s systems, your brain health, your mood, your socializing, your confidence around movement… Take the Zumba class. Go for a pack walk with your dog. Enjoy that paddle. But don’t push yourself with the thought that you will burn calories and lose weight.

Remember you can learn more about why calories in and calories out doesn’t work for midlife weight loss in episode #2. I’ll put the link in the show notes.

What about yoga? Hell YES! We’ll talk more about this on an upcoming podcast, but yoga is great for strength building in so many ways. If you are reluctant to take up a practice because you have injuries or think it might be unsafe, you’ll want to download my FREE “Essential Guide to Yoga for Women 50+”

. I explain exactly why yoga is essential and give you the safety tips you need to use this amazing movement practice for decades to come.

What if feeling wildly alive in midlife had nothing to do with doing more — and everything to do with finally being seen?

If you’ve ever stood in front of your closet thinking, “I’ve lost myself,” this conversation might change the way you think about style, confidence, and visibility forever.

Welcome back to the Midlife Reset Podcast episode 47, where we explore what it really means to age strong — physically, emotionally, and energetically. I’m guiding 100’s of midlife women to losing weight, sleeping better and feeling more alive through this podcast and my online programs, like my free masterclass “5 Step Midlife Reset”. More details on that later.

Today’s conversation is such a treat. I’m joined by Mary Michele Nidiffer, a style coach with nearly two decades of experience who is helping midlife women stop shrinking, stop hiding, and start showing up as their most authentic selves.

Mary Michele is the creator of Live Wildly Alive, a philosophy and movement rooted in self-trust, self-expression, and visibility. Through her proprietary Style Finder ID system, she helps women reconnect not just with their style — but with who they are becoming in midlife.

In this episode, we talk about:

* Why so many women feel invisible in midlife

* The difference between fashion and true personal style

* How what you wear affects your confidence, energy, and presence

* And why reclaiming your style is an act of self-respect — not vanity

If you’re ready to stop feeling frumpy, tired, or unseen — and start feeling wildly alive — this episode is for you.

Thanks for reading The Midlife Reset - Sleep, Strength and Joy for Women 50+! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Cheryl Gordon:So, Michelle, I’m so excited you’re here. Welcome to the Midlife Reset Podcast!

Mary Michele Nidiffer:Oh, thank you so much, Cheryl. I’m so excited to be here and chat with you.

Cheryl:You look beautiful today, as always. Michelle, I reached out to you because I love the name you’re using for your work right now. Tell us what you’re calling it.

Mary Michele:Thank you. I’m calling it Live Wildly Alive. It’s interesting—my mom actually asked me why I chose that name. I told her it’s been on my vision board for the past two years, because that’s how I want to feel. Not just alive. Not just awake. But wildly alive.

That phrase really resonates with the women I work with, especially midlife women. So many of them say they want to wake up feeling vibrant and invigorated again. It just clicked, and I thought, why not name it exactly what we’re all craving?

“Wildly alive” is such a great phrase.

Cheryl:I think a lot of us feel tired and worn down in midlife. We need inspiration, support, and community—and that’s exactly what you’re offering.

Let’s back up a bit. You’ve been a style coach for 18 years.

Mary Michele:Yes! And while that sounds like a long time, I honestly feel like I’ve been doing this my entire life. I started sewing when I was about five or six, and I had this deep knowing even then that I was meant to be a designer.

I spent years in the clothing design industry, and one thing led to another. My personal journey ultimately brought me into style coaching, but it was really about the process I was guiding my clients through—not just the clothes.

Cheryl:So let’s talk about that.

If someone wanted to work with a style coach, how would you help them?

Mary Michele:I developed a proprietary system called the Style Finder ID. It’s similar to something like DISC, but for your style—and it goes much deeper. It looks at your personal style, your leadership style, your communication style, and even identifies visibility blocks—what’s keeping you stuck or holding you back from being seen.

I created it because so many women were coming to me saying, “I don’t have a style,” or “I’ve lost my style.” Style came naturally to me, but I realized most women weren’t taught how to identify or trust it. So I built a system—and it’s been about 99.9% accurate.

Women tell me it gives them clarity right away. It’s the starting point for everything I do.

Cheryl:You mentioned visibility blocks. What does that mean?

Mary Michele:I now call myself a visibility stylist because so many women—especially in midlife—tell me they feel invisible. A visibility block is something internal that keeps you from being fully seen.

For example, one of my primary style words is “dramatic.” Dramatics are meant to be seen. But for years, I didn’t feel safe being visible. I avoided the stage, felt uncomfortable speaking up, questioned whether I had the right to take up space.

Once I worked through that and understood that visibility was actually part of my purpose, everything shifted. Now I’m on stage all the time. Each Style Finder type has its own visibility blocks, and when women understand theirs, they can stop hiding and start showing up more fully.

Cheryl:I love awareness tools. Awareness is the first step to any real change.

What’s the difference between fashion and style?

Mary Michele:Fashion and style are polar opposites. Fashion is about trends—what’s coming down the runway. Style is about who you are.

Style isn’t about labels or wearing a head-to-toe outfit from one store. It’s about expressing yourself authentically. When your style aligns with who you are, you show up differently—you walk differently, speak differently, and feel more confident.

Cheryl:You can see that confidence when a woman walks into a room fully embodied in her style.

If you had to give a few basic guidelines for midlife women wanting to step into their style with confidence, what would you say?

Basic Guidelines for Midlife Style

Mary Michele:The first one is simple: trust yourself. If you put something on and it doesn’t feel good, don’t wear it.

Second, if it’s too small, don’t wear it. There’s nothing wrong with your body—your clothes are the problem. Trying to squeeze yourself into something makes you shrink energetically too.

Third, honor yourself. Wear things that light you up and fit your body now.

Fourth, wear color. Color is powerful. When you learn which colors make your eyes pop, your skin glow, your energy lift—it changes everything.

And finally, dress for who you truly are. Experiment. Give yourself permission to try things. If something doesn’t feel right, let it go. No guilt.

Cheryl:That really resonates. I’ve taught yoga for 25 years, and for a long time I wore basically pajamas to work. Over the years, I started being more intentional—even for teaching or going out for breakfast. It’s a way of honoring myself.

It’s not vanity. It’s self-respect.

Mary Michele:Exactly. What you wear tells the world who you are. Style speaks before words do—through color, texture, and how things are put together.

Style is storytelling. The jewelry from a friend, the ring from your grandmother—those pieces matter.

Cheryl:That’s the secret power of style.

You’re also working on a book, which I’m really excited about.

French Women Don’t Get Frumpy

Mary Michele:Yes, the book is called French Women Don’t Get Frumpy, coming out in 2026. I chose the word “frumpy” because it’s what women have been telling me for years. When I was in Paris last winter, I asked French women in midlife what their challenges were getting dressed—and they said they didn’t have any.

That sent me down a deep cultural exploration. France honors being over doing. They value rituals, sensuality, and slowing down. In contrast, American culture values hustle and burnout—and midlife women feel lost in that.

French women pivot. They update their hair, get jeans that fit, and keep going—with confidence and joy.

Cheryl:I’ve seen that even in Quebec—the joie de vivre, the confidence. It’s inspiring.

And people don’t have to wait until 2026 to access your work, right?

Mary Michele:That’s right. I created the Paris Atelier membership, where I release a chapter each month along with audio, journal prompts, style tips, and behind-the-scenes content. The conversations there are incredible—it’s really about reimagining midlife.

Beep! Beep! Delivery coming in! That’s what insulin sounds like in your body. If you’ve been hearing a lot of buzz lately about insulin resistance and think that your menopause belly might have something to do with that… stay tuned.

Today I want to make it super easy to understand what this hormone does for you, why you should care and offer 7 fast, simple ways to balance your blood sugar.

I know you’ve heard it all before. Insulin is a hormone manufactured in your pancreas and it is responsible for moving glucose into your cells. Yawn. Do I need to know this for the test, right?

Here’s the way I finally started to get the real low down on insulin. With a story!

A Love Story

Let’s say you eat a really wonderful meal. All that fuel is digested and your body has a brilliant shipping and receiving system set up. Way better than Amazon even. It gets the nutrients to the places you need them in record time.

That wonderful meal contained proteins, fats and carbohydrates. Each one of the macronutrients has its own special pathway. The carbs are quick fuel for your system. As soon as possible, the molecules are converted to glucose (otherwise known as sugar) and your body races to get these energy packed nuggets to where your body requires get up and go.

Carbs are all the bread, pasta, rice, muffins, syrup, jam, popcorn, chips, starchy vegetables, legumes, candy, soda…. Your body absolutely needs carbs to provide that quick energy.

Ok… so you ate that gorgeous meal and you have glucose ready to go. Can you picture all the little sugar molecules dressed for a hot date and waiting for the Uber? Bazillions of little molecules, lookin’ hot and just floating around.

Ahhhh. Here comes their specialized Uber now. Insulin! Wow he’s lookin’ hot! Bazillions of insulin molecules pull up and load the glucose. Woot! Woot! We’re on the road, looking for a hot spot to kick up our heels.

Now the best place for a zesty glucose molecule to hang would be muscle tissue. That’s where the real action is. But, sometimes, muscle tissue isn’t really rocking. Maybe it’s sleep time. Or just a really good Netflix documentary for like 4 hours. Not much movement so muscles really don’t feel like hooking up.

Poor glucose! I guess a bit like being a wall flower.

Anyway…. There are other options for this hang out. Glucose can head to the liver or be stored in fat tissue. These are not first choices but hey, a girls’ gotta do what a girls’ gotta do.

Labour Troubles

As the Uber (our insulin hormones) pulls up at the storage facility, either the liver or the fat tissue, ambitious warehouse guys figure out how to pile it all in. But these guys get cranky with a lot of overwork. If that glucose keeps flooding in, day in and day out, they start grumbling… “why doesn’t that muscle do it’s part???”. They start a little work to rule. They stop responding to unload the glucose from the Uber (insulin) and so the Uber keeps driving around and around. Can’t get out of the loop. Stuck in the blood stream.

This my friends is insulin resistance. Your warehouse guys are on work to rule…they’re burnt out. Storage gets really sloppy which means a lot more fat in places that you would not choose. Liver gets congested which causes a big commotion with our skin, hair, digestion. Ack!

And your doctor warns you that your blood sugars are running high. Which puts you at risk for cardiac disease, diabetes and Alzheimers.

And you know the really frustrating part?

There’s really an excess of glucose available out there. Lots of hotties lookin’ for love. But due to the inventory management debacle, our warehouse guys practically on strike, the body THINKS we need more energy. It takes a lot of calories to run this gorgeous machine that we call the human body, especially our amazing brains.

And the brain has got a big procedural manual. Developed over your whole lifetime, even in times way before your daddy winked at your mommy. In this tome, your brain has experience that if we need quick glucose, send up a flashy billboard to attract the ladies. You experience this sordid attempt at romance as a craving.

It FEELS like you have low blood sugar. You feel hungry even. At least peckish. It’s probably not an actual meal time so you just grab what’s easy and appeals to you. Which will almost always be a simple sugar like a donut in the break room, a granola bar from the bottom of your purse, an iced coffee, a bag of doritos. Your very smart brain knows that those sort of cravings get answered quickly and dependably.

Unfortunately, the brain does not read the press releases from your warehouse guys and knows little about that labour unrest. It doesn’t know that the warehouses are in a sloppy mess and there is plenty of glucose and love to go around. It will default to the quickest and more habitual solution. Carb craving.

This is so interesting to watch. I’ve been using mindfulness tools to really try and feel this happening in real time in my own body. I’ve written a free guide to mindful eating that I’d love to share with you.

Remember… this is not the fault of your insulin. The poor Uber drivers are just following the app, right? They aren’t responsible for the extra fuel we’ve ingested. They can’t make the muscles do more. They can’’t solve the labour problems in the warehouses. They just drive the glucose girls around. It’s supply and demand, man.

You know who can solve this whole mess? YOU!

The Exciting Part of the Story

The part where you fly in wearing a super hero cape and save yourself from all those horrid chronic diseases. Wow, you’re amazing!

Some really simple shifts in your habits can solve all that labour unrest. You can reduce the number of girls out there looking for love. You can get those muscles to do their part. It’s all just common sense really.

Here are 7 Simple Habits

These will reduce insulin sensitivity and your risk of cardiac disease, diabetes, Alzheimers and so many other nasty and annoying conditions we thought we due to aging. But it’s really just an energy mis-match.

The first two tips address the muscle movement problem.

1. Take a 1000 steps post meal. This equals about 10 minutes strolling casually. This is not a power walk. It’s not about burning calories. In fact, research shows that delaying your walk 30 minutes post meal and going longer is actually less helpful. This works because the large muscle groups you move walking will signal the Uber to drop the glucose ladies with them instead of going to the warehouse. Already your labour troubles are eased.

2. Another movement trick… calf raises. There’s something about those calf muscles that really attract the ladies. All it takes is 10 up on the toes and down with the heels done quite quickly. Really pulls in the glucose.

Now, how can you reduce the glucose hit without giving up all the carbs that you absolutely do need?

3. Eat the protein and veg first during your meal. These macronutrients take longer to break down so glucose will be delayed. Absence makes the heart grow fonder! The warehouse guys will have more time to get organized.

4. Consider eating the salad first and use apple cider vinegar dressing. It’s so simple to make… 1/3 vinegar, 2/3 olive oil and salt & pepper to taste. You can get fancy and add a dollop of dijon mustard or a bit of honey but it’s so basic. If you’re not eating salad this meal, you can take 1 T vinegar in 8oz room temp water. That’s great first thing in the morning. The acetic acid in the vinegar boosts the power of your digestion. Breaks the glucose down more thoroughly so the stomach empties well. Sluggish digestion really confuses the Uber drivers.

And the timing of your meals is important. In my mindful eating guide, I’ll explain how to plan effectively so the whole when to eat and what to eat becomes effortless.

5. Because your warehouse guys are fresher in the morning, shift your eating window earlier in the day. Before they get too tired and cranky. Meals ideally are spread over 10 - 12 hours per day. The remaining hours without glucose going into the system allow the warehouse to get better organized. And it might even stimulate the stores of fat to give up a few glucose goodies when the brain realizes that cravings just won’t get them the love. But your brain will DEFINITELY try the cravings first. It’s science.

6. Which brings us to, yes, breakfast may be the most important meal of the day. Skipping that first meal tends to bring on greater blood sugar spikes at lunch. The wild Uber ride gets the girls just too excited and the whole system is destabilized.

So many people just don’t feel hungry at breakfast or they lack time to make anything substantial. Remember… you don’t have to rely on cereal or toast. You can eat leftovers. A really good hit of protein and fibre first thing will set up your digestion for a stellar day. I know everyone is pushing the protein…and it’s not the be all end all… but if you’re looking at about 30 grams at breakfast, you’re well set. This would be 3 eggs, whole grain toast with nut butter and a bit of Greek yogurt. Which probably sounds like a lot of food. But in mindful eating, we don’t count calories. We look at eating smart. Timing your protein is smart. I have a smoothie most mornings with pea protein power, almonds, kefir, ground flax seed and greens. I don’t think I hit 30 grams but I’m close. On days that I lift weights, I’ll add a homemade protein bar which clocks in at about 8 grams. These kind of details don’t matter to the glucose girls. They just need the Ubers to show up on time and the muscles to be ready to rock n roll.

7. And I bet you guessed that I’d get around to stress. How can I yoga therapist address insulin resistance without that conversation? Cause it’s huge!

Simply put, when you are experiencing chronic stress (and who isn’t these days???), your body produces cortisol. That’s the stress hormone everyone talks about. But it’s real. Stress hormones are meant to support your body to fight or flee. Which means those muscles may need to spring into action. So your super smart body, when there’s cortisol rising, signals the warehouse guys in the liver to ship out some glucose girls. Which would be amazing IF the muscles were actually going to fight or flee. But highly likely they’re not. We’re exhausted. We’re stressed. We’re too busy. It’s all just too hard. So the glucose girls are once again floating around in their Ubers looking for love in all the wrong places. Which means… higher blood sugar numbers even if you watched your diet!

How depressing is that! You resisted the carbs cravings… which spiked your stress hormones… which upped your blood sugar anyway. Ugh!

I really hope you look at my mindful eating program. I have a free guide to get you started but if you really want to get to the bottom of this mis-match, the SHE Mindfulness program takes it deep. We look at the stress in your life. Go further into the hormone mess. Create structure and support to tackle all this. You don’t have to do it alone. Drop me a comment and we can talk more.

If you’ve ever found yourself staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night, mind racing, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. Modern life glorifies busyness and overstimulation, but our nervous systems haven’t evolved to handle the constant flood of light, noise, and information. Rest isn’t wasted time. It’s medicine.

In this video, I open with a story about my father, who grew up on a quiet farm where days were shaped by natural rhythms and nights were truly dark and still. Today, we’re bombarded by hundreds of faces, screens, and choices daily—far more stimulation than our ancestors could have imagined. Our brains, which burn more calories than any other organ, have learned to conserve energy by running on autopilot. But this “habit mode” comes at a cost: to make meaningful change, we need more energy… and that requires rest.

Why Sleep Gets Harder in Midlife

Sleep disruption in perimenopause and menopause isn’t a personal failure—it’s biology. Hormonal shifts, especially the drop in progesterone and estrogen, disrupt the relaxation response that once helped us drift off easily. Suddenly, our sleep becomes light, fragmented, unpredictable.

But here’s the reframe: waking at night isn’t a malfunction. It’s part of the natural rhythm of sleep, which moves in cycles—light sleep, deep sleep, REM, and brief wakefulness between them. What’s changed isn’t our body’s need for rest, but our ability to self-soothe during those wakeful moments.

Non-Sleep Deep Rest: Your 3 A.M. Superpower

Instead of fighting sleeplessness, consider this game-changing concept: Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR).

This is the practice of intentionally guiding the body and brain into a deeply relaxed state—even when you’re awake. Research shows that one hour of NSDR can restore the brain as much as four hours of regular sleep.

The key is to stop panicking and start resting. When the 3 a.m. wake-up hits, you can still recharge—just differently.

Simple Tools for the Wee Hours

Here are the practices I recommend for those sleepless stretches:

* Acceptance. Instead of spiraling into frustration, breathe and remind yourself another wave of sleep will come. You’re safe.

* Eye Relaxation Protocol. Soften your gaze or gently close your eyes—this signals safety to your brain and helps the body unwind.

* Backwards Breath. Slow, mindful exhalations calm the nervous system and slow racing thoughts.

* Restorative Pose. Settle into a comfortable, supported position. Even if you don’t drift off, your body will still recharge.

These tools train your nervous system to self-soothe—just as we once helped our babies do. Over time, your body learns that it’s safe to rest again.

The Real Secret to Energy, Weight Loss, and Well-Being

So many midlife women blame themselves for fatigue, extra weight, brain fog, and anxiety. But the truth is, lasting change requires energy—and energy begins with rest.You don’t need to force eight hours of perfect sleep. You just need to give your nervous system a chance to reset.

The takeaway:

“When your nervous system feels safe, your body can heal. When your body heals, your brain learns. And when your brain learns, midlife becomes a season of possibility—not decline.”

Next Steps

For guided NSDR practices, sleep meditations, and morning reset routines, consider purchasing ($29) Sleep Solutions on her website.

Tonight, when you wake in the wee hours, try rest instead of panic. Even when you can’t sleep, you can still restore.

My guest today was a lifelong athlete — boot camps, spin, Body Pump, you name it. But one day, she looked down and thought, “Where did all this belly fat come from?”

That moment set her on a journey that might rewrite everything you thought you knew about midlife fitness.

Lynn Sederlöf-Airisto joins me from Finland to unpack the truth about what really works for women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond — and why so many of us waste hours at the gym doing the wrong kind of exercise.

We talk about what true strength training actually is (hint: it’s not Body Pump), how to choose the right weights, and why this kind of training might just be the secret to rekindling your metabolism, reshaping your body, and reclaiming your confidence.

💪 In This Episode, We Discuss:

* Why women start losing muscle as early as age 30 — and how menopause accelerates it

* The big difference between “working out with weights” and strength training

* The science-backed formula for building strength (and saving time at the gym)

* How to find your ideal weight for training — without guesswork

* Why one set can be more effective than three (and how to get the most out of every workout)

* The truth about “bulking up” and why it’s nearly impossible for most women

* Simple mindset shifts that make lifting feel empowering, not intimidating

* How strength training supports bone density, metabolism, and insulin sensitivity

🌸 Key Quotes

“I thought if I had dumbbells in my hand and my muscles were burning, that meant I was strength training — but it turns out that’s not true.” — Lynn Sederlöf-Airisto

“Being strong is so cool. My clients start out wanting to lose weight, but end up falling in love with feeling powerful.” — Lynn Sederlöf-Airisto

“We lose muscle and bone as we age — but with the right training, we can absolutely get it back.” — Cheryl Gordon

🔗 Connect with Lynn

Website: Be Fit After 40 Instagram: @befitafter40

💫 Connect with Cheryl

Website: cherylgordonyt.comInstagram: Cheryl Gordon

Most midlife women I work with know they should take care of themselves—but guilt and old conditioning still whisper, “That’s selfish.”

My guest today, Robin Brock, shares how she flipped that narrative through the SHE Mindfulness Program. Once she began prioritizing her own health and happiness, her relationships deepened, her confidence grew, and life opened up in new and beautiful ways.

“It’s like an awakening.”

Cheryl: The funny thing is, once you started looking at life that way, your communication with your sons got richer, your health improved, and you became more vibrant in your community. You’re even doing more community service—you’re probably a better partner to your husband, too.

Robin: There are so many benefits for the people around you. For women who say, “I don’t have time,” or “It feels selfish to do something for myself,” I’d say this: when you take care of yourself, everyone benefits.

Cheryl: Exactly. You can bring your better self to everything you do. If you’re babysitting, you’ll have more energy. If you want to go back to school, your brain will be sharper.

Robin: That’s exactly what happened. I see things more clearly now. My relationships are stronger because I no longer feel that everything is solely my responsibility.

“Enhancing my life enhances everyone around me.”

Robin: My role in life may look different now than when my kids were little, but it’s just as important. My focus is on enhancing my own life—which enhances everyone around me. The stronger and healthier I am, the more I can give.

I can volunteer at the Humane Society, go back to school, or chase new dreams. I see those 90-year-old women getting their degrees and think, That’s going to be me one day!

What women gain from this program is the strength to try new things—without embarrassment or shame—even later in life.

“We were taught to serve first.”

Cheryl: I can relate. I grew up with strong messages—both from family and culture—that women were supposed to serve others. We made sure everyone else was happy before we were allowed to rest. The house had to be spotless before we could sit down with a book.

So when a woman says, “I’m going to prioritize my own needs,” she’s often labelled selfish.

Learning how to set loving boundaries and prioritize your health—that’s revolutionary.

In the SHE Mindfulness Program, we focus on three pillars:

* Losing weight through mindful eating

* Sleeping better through non-sleep deep rest

* Getting stronger through yoga and resistance training

Did those things come true for you?

“All of them.”

Robin: All of them!

I’ve always been a nighttime snacker. I could go all day without eating until dinner—but by 8 p.m., I was in the fridge, hunting for chips or chocolate.

Through mindful eating, I learned to pause. It takes about 90 seconds for a craving to pass if you let it. That’s when I’ll grab water or a book instead. And planning ahead is a game changer.

“Sleep was a big one.”

Robin: I used to sleep anywhere, anytime. But recently, I’d wake up every couple of hours—wide awake at midnight or 2 a.m.

Now, if I can’t sleep, I use the breathwork we practiced in the SHE Mindfulness Program. It calms my nervous system and quiets the racing thoughts. I’m not much of a journaler, but those few minutes of breathing do the same thing.

And I’ve stopped judging myself for resting. I used to think naps were for old people! Now, I’ll do Legs-Up-the-Wall in the afternoon, and sometimes I’ll end up resting for 20 minutes. I feel re-energized afterward.

Cheryl: That’s non-sleep deep rest—it’s one of the best things you can do for your nervous system.

Robin: Exactly. When I’m rested, I can handle cravings, stress, and emotions so much better.

“I’m more comfortable in my own skin.”

Robin: Life feels peaceful now. I’m more comfortable in my own skin.

I’ve always been confident, but the SHE Mindfulness Program gave me permission to fully embody that strength. I can say, proudly, that I’m a strong woman—without shame or apology.

“The habit brain runs the show.”

Robin: One of the biggest things I learned was how much control my habit brain had over my life. Those patterns—eating, thinking, reacting—were running automatically.

I realized how much energy it takes to fight against those patterns and how easy it is to fall back into them. That’s why I used to feel like a failure when I couldn’t stick to a plan.

The SHE Mindfulness Program helped me understand and change that. Once you know how to work with your habit brain, it’s not hard—it’s empowering.

Cheryl: That’s incredible. Thank you for sharing that. I didn’t realize just how deeply the program had impacted you. It means a lot to hear this.

Robin: You’ve changed my life, Cheryl.

“A few next steps…”

Cheryl: If you’re listening and curious about the SHE Program—but not quite ready to dive in—I have two great places to start:

* The Free Mindful Eating Guide — it teaches you the foundational practices Robin mentioned, including planning and mindful pauses.

* The Sleep Solutions Course ($29) — a mini course that includes meditations, breathwork, and tools for calming your nervous system and improving your sleep.

Have you ever secretly dreamed of writing a book one day? Or maybe you just crave a good story that makes you feel seen in midlife — with all its challenges, changes, and surprising chances for reinvention. Today’s guest proves that it’s never too late to start something bold.

Gretchen Anthony published her first novel at age 48, and her latest, Tired Ladies Take a Stand, is striking a chord with women everywhere who are tired of being everything to everyone — and are ready to claim their own space.

So if you’ve ever wondered how to balance your dreams with life’s demands, or how to spark creativity when you feel stuck, this episode will inspire you to think differently about what’s possible in midlife.

Welcome to episode number 34 of the Midlife Reset Podcast. I’m Cheryl Gordon — a yoga and mindfulness coach for midlife women who want to feel stronger, lighter, and more energized. Welcome, Gretchen! I’m so thrilled you could join us. Give us a little background — what did you do before age 48?

Gretchen Anthony: Thank you for having me! Well, I did a little bit of everything, like so many of us do. I was busy raising three boys and had a career in corporate communications for about twenty years. I juggled full-time work and contracts, we moved a few times for my husband’s career, and I was constantly trying to find balance — fulfilling daily responsibilities while still trying to do what filled my heart, with whatever energy I had left.

Cheryl Gordon: When the kids were growing up, I imagine there wasn’t a lot left over. And now your last one’s just gone off to college?

Gretchen Anthony: Yes, just off to college! We spent the weekend getting him settled — it lifts your heart, but it’s bittersweet.

Cheryl Gordon: It is hard, isn’t it? When my boys moved out, I was embarrassed to admit I had empty nest syndrome. I thought that was for people who didn’t have much else going on — but you’re always a mom, and there’s always an adjustment.

Gretchen Anthony: Exactly. I used to hear women say, “I don’t know what to do with myself now,” or “I don’t know who I am now,” and I thought, that’s sad. But when it happens, you get it. In those years before writing my novel, I was trying to figure out what’s next for me — because if I did my job right, my kids would eventually fly.

Cheryl Gordon: We are happy they’re flying, but it’s still a loss when that chapter closes.

Gretchen Anthony: Yes — that sorrow comes from knowing a huge part of your life is complete.

Cheryl Gordon: I’ve actually been an empty nester longer than I had my kids at home! They both left at 18 and never came back. I’m so proud of them, but I still miss those noisy, busy days. Anyway, did you always know you were going to write a book one day, or did that come out of the blue?

Gretchen Anthony: I always had this sense that I had a book in me. But early in my career, I wanted security — something more stable than fiction writing could offer. So I went into management consulting and corporate communications. That fulfilled a need for a while. But deep down, I still had stories and characters brewing. The older I got, the louder they became, demanding to be heard. That’s what finally pushed me to write.

The matriarch in my debut novel, Evergreen Tidings from the Baumgartners, lived in my head for five to seven years before I wrote the book. I finally thought, “She’s never getting out unless I write her down!”

Cheryl Gordon: So writing became your next chapter — no pun intended!

Gretchen Anthony: Exactly! I’d just been laid off from my corporate job and was seeing a career coach. He looked at my résumé and said, “It reads like chapters — you had a chapter where you did this, another where you did that.” And I said, “Funny you should say that, because I feel like I won’t be settled until I publish a book.” He said, “Then maybe now’s your time.” And that was at age 48.

Cheryl Gordon: So many people face a big career shift around that age — it’s inspiring to hear your story. You mentioned that your characters live inside you until they demand a voice. Is that the secret to your creativity?

Gretchen Anthony: For me, yes. The best characters are the ones who live with me for a while. When I try to force them, they’re less authentic. Writing is really about listening — to conversations, the way people talk, the little quirks of human nature. Those things inform my characters and make them feel real.

Cheryl Gordon: Your latest book — which I have right here — is Tired Ladies Take a Stand. It’s a bit autobiographical, isn’t it?

Gretchen Anthony: It is! The tagline is something like, “You’ve heard of the year of saying yes — this is the year of saying no.” It’s about four friends at two stages of life. In their twenties, they’re starting careers in San Francisco and decide to say yes to everything — adventure, opportunity, fun. Then you fast-forward to their late forties and early fifties, and they realize how toxic always saying yes can be. They have to learn to say no — and when people aren’t used to hearing that from you, chaos follows!

The story is loosely based on me and my friends in our twenties. We really did have a “say yes” year, which we jokingly called “Kiss Fest.” We didn’t take it that far, but it was a time of adventure and self-discovery.

Cheryl Gordon: I love that you bring that sense of adventure into a story about midlife women. There aren’t many novels featuring women our age as heroines — and you make it every bit as fun and compelling as the stories about twenty-somethings.

Gretchen Anthony: Thank you! Writing this book forced me to step outside myself and really look at this stage of life differently. Even though the story draws from real friendships, I had to create fully developed characters — not just carbon copies of my friends. That process made me reflect on how we’ve all changed, what still serves us, and what doesn’t.

I also realized how few books feature midlife heroines. This phase of life is huge — full of opportunities, freedoms, and challenges. It’s every bit as complex and vibrant as our twenties, just with a different perspective.

Cheryl Gordon: Exactly. And when you base characters on real friendships, you still never really know what someone’s thinking or feeling on the inside. That’s where creativity and empathy come in.

Gretchen Anthony: Right. I had to remind my real friends, “Yes, you’ll recognize yourself in the book, but these characters do dumb things! It doesn’t mean I see that in you.”

Cheryl Gordon: I won’t give too much away, but Fern — one of your main characters — faces a big decision. She’s offered an incredible career opportunity, but it makes her friends uncomfortable. It’s a great example of how hard it can be for midlife women to say no, or to prioritize themselves for a change. What do you think Fern teaches us about that?

Gretchen Anthony: Fern learns that she hasn’t been truthful — first with herself, and then with the people she loves. She has to admit what she really wants and needs. In the story, she wrote a book based on her friends’ lives, and years later it’s optioned for a film — but she never got their permission. She goes ahead anyway, thinking they’ll understand eventually.

The lesson is that when we’ve put ourselves second for so long, we can overcorrect — making choices that don’t align with our values. It’s like being on a diet: you deprive yourself for months, and then when you finally allow something, you go overboard.

As midlife women, we’re learning to find balance — to honor our needs without betraying ourselves or others. Saying no can be uncomfortable, but it’s often the most honest thing we can do.

Cheryl Gordon: That’s such a great point. When we constantly suppress our own needs to make everyone else happy, resentment builds up. I see that in mindful eating too — deprivation never works.

Cheryl Gordon: Before we wrap up, I really want to make sure we talk about what’s next for you. In January, you started The Middle Book Club — tell us about that!

Gretchen Anthony: I did! Thank you. This idea grew out of something I realized while writing and marketing Tired Ladies Take a Stand. If you look at contemporary fiction, you might think women disappear around age 40. We read so many stories about women coming of age or falling in love — then suddenly they vanish until they reappear as quirky seventy-somethings. I call it the Miss Marple effect.

Cheryl Gordon: That’s hilarious — and so true!

Gretchen Anthony: Right? I knew my book wasn’t the only one out there, and I kept hearing from readers who said how refreshing it was to see characters their own age — women balancing aging parents and adult kids, living in that “sandwich generation.”

So I started The Middle Book Club, an online community on Substack — you can find it at themiddlebookclub.com. Each month, we read a novel featuring heroines in what I call “the juicy middle” of life — because this stage really is juicy. It’s rich, complicated, and full of growth.

For October, for example, we’re reading The Change by Kirsten Miller — about three women in their 40s and 50s who discover supernatural powers and take justice into their own hands. Every month, we explore stories that reflect what we’re living, and we get to talk about them together as peers.

Cheryl Gordon: That sounds amazing — and that’s the real joy of a book club! Not just the wine and gossip kind (though no judgment there!) but one where you actually talk about the books with like-minded women.

And speaking of adventure — I know you’re also cooking up something new that combines books and travel.

Gretchen Anthony: Yes! My next chapter — and I love that we can have multiple chapters at once — is Bookish Travel, a new newsletter and travel project that builds on The Middle Book Club. My husband and I are empty nesters now, so I have more flexibility to work on the road.

The idea is to help readers turn every trip into a literary adventure. Say you’re visiting Dublin — what literary spots should you see? I just returned from our 25th anniversary trip to Ireland, so I’m full of ideas. Literary tourism is huge right now — people want to visit the places that inspired their favorite books. So this is my way to blend storytelling, travel, and community into my next venture.

Cheryl Gordon: That sounds incredible. Everyone listening — go sign up for The Middle Book Club so you’ll hear when Bookish Travel launches!

Gretchen Anthony: Yes, please do!

Cheryl Gordon: So many midlife women have travel dreams, but we often hold back — maybe because of physical limitations, or because someone else always seems to need us. But Gretchen and I both believe: it’s time for tired ladies to take a stand.

Get out there, explore those amazing book destinations Gretchen has scouted, and keep feeding that lifelong learner inside you.

And if what’s holding you back are sleepless nights, sore joints, or that sluggish midlife weight gain — I’d love for you to check out my free masterclass, The 5-Step Midlife Reset. It’s available now on my website.

You’ll discover simple practices to move from teary, tubby, and tired — to strong, happy, and energized. You’ll feel like the heroine of your own story… and maybe one day, Gretchen will write a novel about us!

Gretchen Anthony: Thank you so much, Cheryl.

Cheryl Gordon: Thank you, Gretchen, for sharing your time and wisdom today. I’m still a little starstruck getting to interview a real author!

Welcome back to the Midlife Reset Podcast, episode 33! I’m your host, Cheryl Gordon. Today, we’re diving into something every midlife woman has experienced—mood swings, irritability, that sudden sense of “I can’t believe I just snapped over nothing!”

Now, I want you to know—this isn’t just in your head. It’s real, physiological, and completely normal. Hormones, stress, sleep, and even nutrition all play a role in how we feel in midlife.

By the end of this episode, you’ll understand why your moods shift, what’s happening in your brain and body, and most importantly, practical ways to regain control, feel calmer, and protect your mental wellbeing.

Let’s start with hormones—our invisible puppeteers. Around our 40s and 50s, estrogen and progesterone start to fluctuate even more wildly than normal as the ovaries slow down. Estrogen is more than just a reproductive hormone—it affects your serotonin, the “feel good” neurotransmitter. Lower estrogen can mean lower serotonin, which can trigger anxiety, irritability, sadness, or that general “ugh” feeling. If you’re feeling scattered, more anxious than you used to or just plain cranky, it’s probably because the uptake of serotonin is lower. We’re definitely more vulnerable to stress in general without that cushion.

Progesterone, on the other hand, is like the chill hormone. It helps regulate mood, calm the nervous system, and even supports sleep. So when progesterone drops, you can feel more anxious, tense, or snappy than usual. When my progesterone levels tanked in perimenopause, sleep became almost impossible overnight. We need progesterone to signal the production of melatonin, which helps us feel sleepy. The relaxation nerves don’t get the signalling they need to cue the relaxation response if progesterone is low.

And don’t forget cortisol, the stress hormone. Last week, we discussed this glucocorticoid compound in more detail so you may want to refer back to episode 32. We talked all about stress and hormones and weight gain. Good stuff.

Cortisol rises when we’re tired, overwhelmed, or stressed, and it works hand-in-hand with our sex hormones to influence mood. High cortisol + fluctuating estrogen and progesterone? That’s the recipe for emotional turbulence. Isn’t that how we feel, girlfriend, in midlife? Like we’re on a crazy roller coaster and some sadist somewhere has the stick shift.

To add insult to injury, all the running around we did to keep everyone else happy and safe created a lot of stress. This constantly stimulated the adrenals to pump out that cortisol. Rushing to get the kids on time… creating perfect holiday memories for a family of 18… worrying all day at work about your sick neighbour… all that just wore those little glands right out. Soooo, when we get to midlife, the adrenals, which should take up a little of the estrogen/progesterone production, are just offline.

Those mood swings you’re feeling? They’re not a character flaw. They’re a signal that your body is adjusting to new hormonal realities.

Now here’s the big take away!!! Hormones do their own thing without you directing them. That’s when we feel like we’re on the crazy train ride. BUT.. wait for it…. As a human with a super brain, you have the ability to wrest control back from the automatic pilot.

All the magazine articles and wellness experts advice to eat carefully, exercise more and meditate. But they don’t explain exactly how, why and really, what to do when old habits die really slow. How many times have you had those very goals every New Year’s?

Let’s dive in to what you can start now, small steps and simply, to move toward better mood and sharper focus.

Shaping hormonal responses in every day life means paying attention to your every day habits. Yup… it’s that lifestyle stuff again—sleep, movement, and nutrition— they can either amplify those mood swings or help you ride them more smoothly.

* Sleep: Poor sleep disrupts your hormones even further, lowers serotonin, and makes cortisol spikes worse. Feeling cranky after a night of tossing and turning? That’s your brain on low serotonin and high cortisol. Changing habits is super hard when you are running on empty. Stay tuned and we’ll talk strategies around this.

* Movement: Gentle exercise like yoga, walking, or strength training boosts endorphins, which balance mood. Even a 15 minute practice can start the process. The big key is consistency.

* Nutrition: Foods rich in protein, healthy fats, and fibre stabilize blood sugar, which prevents mood swings fuelled by glucose spikes and crashes. Midlife women are particularly sensitive to blood sugar fluctuations and issues with insulin. This means prioritizing planning your food, not running on empty or cutting out essential nutrients in the interest of cutting calories.

* Mindfulness & Stress Reduction: Breathing exercises, meditation, journaling—even 5 minutes a day—lower cortisol, which directly improves emotional resilience. Mindfulness won’t inspire your husband to change being sloppy. It won’t make your boss automatically kinder. It won’t get your kids to call. BUT it can shift how your body responds to these stressors, which shifts the hormones.

It’s all connected—sleep better, eat smarter, move mindfully, and your mood swings start to soften.

Now we look at making this happen in your life, as it is now. I don’t want to make any grandiose plans or resolutions that will be ditched in week two. We’ve all done that.

Here are five quick tools that build a healthier lifestyle. My suggestion is that you pick one and work on that until it’s habitual. That might take 3 days or 3 weeks. We’re all coming at this from different angles.

I mentioned earlier that habits are hard to change when we’re super tired.

The brain simply does not have the resources to process change when you’re stressed. So our first strategy should be to choose a tool that is most helpful for you to cope with stressors in your life.

Which one of these do you think will make the biggest impact and will be the easiest to adopt?

Tool 1: Mindful Check-InSpend 2–3 minutes noticing your mood without judgment. Name it. “I feel frustrated.” “I feel anxious.” Labeling emotions actually calms the brain’s amygdala and gives you space to respond, not react. (Practice 3 minute breathing space)

Tool 2: Breathwork for Immediate CalmTry this breathing method: Inhale until you fill your lungs, then inhale a little more. Exhale and sigh out the mouth. Repeat 3 x. This “double inhale” massages the heart a little extra which tells your nervous system it’s safe to relax.

Tool 3: Movement as Mood ResetEven a short walk outside or a gentle yoga stretch can shift cortisol, boost serotonin, and reset your mood. Bonus: sunlight exposure early in the day helps regulate melatonin for better sleep. We mentioned earlier that even 15 minutes/day is an effective dose. Try these quick stretches with me right now. (Side bend, twist, cat/cow)

Tool 4: Blood Sugar AwarenessEat protein at every meal and limit refined carbs. Keeping your blood sugar stable stabilizes your mood. Midlife women often overlook this, but it makes a huge difference. Research is suggesting that an active midlife woman might need 90 grams or more protein per day. Aim to find whole food sources rather than protein drinks and supplements. Lovingly feeding your body makes your nervous system very happy. Mindful Eating is a great practice and I have a free guide to get you started. There will be a link in the show notes.

Tool 5: Self-Compassion

If people heard the vicious commentary running in my head some days, they would be shocked! I can be really mean to myself. During my weight loss and using the SHE Mindfulness program, I learned to recognize and reframe a lot of that self critical thinking. You know what I found really helped? Placing my hands over my heart, like this, closing my eyes briefly and saying something comforting to myself. Like you would to a small child or pet who was upset. Let’s try it cuz I know it sounds too basic.

Here’s an important mindset shift: mood swings aren’t a weakness—they’re your body talking to you. They’re asking for rest, movement, nutrition, or emotional care. If we listen instead of resist, we can reduce their frequency and intensity.

Pema Chodron says that what we resist will keep coming back to visit us until we let it in. Some of teachers say “what we resist, persists”.

Think of it like tuning an instrument. Hormones, stress, and lifestyle factors are the strings. When one is off, everything sounds discordant. With attention, mindfulness, and practical strategies, you can bring yourself back in tune.

So today we talked about why midlife mood swings happen, the role of hormones and cortisol, and simple tools to help you feel steadier and happier.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I have a free Mindful Eating Guide that pairs beautifully with these strategies, helping you nourish your body without stress or guilt. It’s all about small, kind, consistent steps—perfect for midlife women. There is also the Sleep Solutions Course ($19) that expands some of these self care tools, especially ones you can use in the middle of the night.

And if this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who might need a little extra support, and subscribe so you never miss an episode of the Midlife Reset Podcast.

Remember: your moods don’t define you, but the way you respond to them can empower you to thrive through midlife and beyond.

Do you look in the mirror and think… ‘What on earth happened to me?’”

It’s not like you’re being vain. It’s about the extra weight, bloating, the discomfort that creep in during midlife—making you feel unlike yourself. Today I’m sharing how hormones, stress, and mindful eating all play a role in midlife weight—and why the gentlest, most effective changes are often the ones we overlook.

Welcome to the Midlife Reset Podcast, episode #32. I’m your host, Cheryl Gordon and today I want to share a few secrets about how to lose midlife weight, not with deprivation diets or crazy exercise, but by reducing stress. Here’s why it’s so powerful.

As I got to menopause, I felt so bewildered by all this extra flesh. I tried to exercise, eat healthy.

And it wasn’t about vanity. I’m a 62 year old grama. I’m totally allowed to be padded and I’m totally done trying to impress anyone But it just wasn’t me. And I know that those excess pounds put additional pressure on my joints, increase my risk for chronic disease and make clothes shopping yucky.

I don’t think most of us care about the pouchy belly or stretch marks any more. Those are badges of honour, my friend! But I do like to dress up and not have to tug at my waistband all day. Or feel bloated and unhealthy.

Because I’m a yoga therapist, I’m very aware of the dangers of low calorie and deprivation diets. One of the biggest risks for midlife women, if you’re say consuming under 1400 calories per day, is loss of muscle and bone tissue. You’d have to be lifting heavy to maintain it and it’s almost impossible to get the protein and other nutrition you’d need at that level. And almost every diet program and app prescribes a serious calorie deficit so you can shed pounds. A quick fix sells.

And I had injured myself enough times taking up aggressive exercise regimens that I didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole.

But when I looked in the mirror, my first thought was to criticize myself and threaten to put stricter measures in place. Like I was truant. Or a bad girl.

All that did was make me feel worse which aggravated my stress levels.

Does any of this ring true my friend? What if it wasn’t stricter food guidelines or more vigorous exercise that you needed? What if was a gentler, kinder method of shedding the excess pounds in harmony with your body and life?

I’ve put a clear program of Mindful Eating together that I can send you for free. It’s how I lost the menopausal weight and it doesn’t cut out food groups or make you feel embarrassed because you have a lapse now and then. More details on that later.

Let’s dive in as to what’s really going on behind the scenes with our midlife weight gain.

As we enter our 40s and 50s, several key hormones begin to fluctuate:

Estrogen declines as the ovaries gradually go offline.  Estrogen promotes the accumulation of subcutaneous fat, and the loss of estrogen with menopause is associated with an increase in visceral fat.  Prior to menopause, the female fat distribution is more centered on thighs, hips and breasts as subcutaneous fat.  As estrogen levels decline, this shifts to visceral, or abdominal, fat.  This type of fat is more associated with diabetes and cardiovascular disease so it’s not desirable.  

Falling estrogen levels can also lead to a decrease in serotonin, contributing to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and irritability. The loss of estrogen can result in decreased density of receptors, which are involved in serotonin signaling, and lower serotonin activity.  You can see why midlife women start to get a little cranky.  We become more vulnerable to stress due to the hormonal shift.

When levels of estrogen and progesterone are balanced, estrogen promotes fat storage, while progesterone helps burn it for energy. Some studies suggest it may also have an anti-glucocorticoid effect in adipose (or fat) tissue, potentially reducing the impact of stress hormones on fat storage.  Glucocorticoids are a class of steroid hormones that play a key role in how the body handles stress.  Cortisol is the main hormone.  More on that soon.

Estrogen and aldosterone can cause water retention, while progesterone is a natural diuretic, helping to reduce swelling and water weight.  When progesterone levels are low, especially relative to estrogen, it can disrupt this balance, potentially leading to more fat storage, particularly in the abdominal area. 

Women often don’t have testosterone on their own radar but it plays a crucial role in midlife weight gain.  As testosterone drops, muscle mass decreases.  Muscle tissue is a metabolic powerhouse!  Starting as early as our 30’s, we can lose up to 2% per year, and this loss speeds up in our 40s and 50s. 

Muscle tissue burns more calories than fat tissue, even at rest. This means a higher percentage of your daily energy expenditure (the calories you are burning up) comes from maintaining muscle mass. Building muscle through strength training boosts your basal metabolic rate (BMR), the number of calories your body burns just to keep functioning. 

Less muscle means a slower metabolism, which can lead to weight gain, less energy, and even a higher risk of injury.  If we are scared of hurting ourselves, we move less, lose more muscle… it’s a vicious circle.

Now let’s get back to stress and cortisol.  Earlier we  mentioned that this hormone is the main one in that group of glucocorticoids.  It is produced in the adrenals.  These are small glands, one on the right and one on the left, just above your kidneys.  Every time, throughout your whole life, that anything creates a potential survival threat, the adrenals kick out some stimulation to the nervous system.  It’s a marvelous and proven system that has kept humans thriving for millenia.  But the kinds of things that qualify as survival threats can be a loud noise, too many unknown people in a confined space, worry about paying bills, odd smells… it’s endless.  And in our modern, complicated lives, the nervous system is completely overwhelmed by potential threats.

When cortisol stays high for too long—whether from stress, over-exercising, or lack of sleep—it signals your body to store fat, especially around the belly. That’s because your body thinks it needs to conserve energy for a crisis, even if that “crisis” is just daily stress. 

Cortisol can increase appetite, especially for carbohydrates, by triggering specific mechanisms in the brain and body. It upregulates appetite-stimulating neuropeptides while inhibiting leptin, a satiety hormone.  It enhances dopamine release in the brain, leading to cravings for palatable, energy-dense foods like carbohydrates.

Cortisol triggers the breakdown of glycogen into glucose, flooding your system with extra fuel to escape the perceived threat—except there’s nothing to actually run from. It promotes the breakdown of proteins in muscle tissue to provide amino acids for energy, particularly for gluconeogenesis (converting non-carbohydrate sources into glucose). And as we will study further in this course, that spike in glucose triggers an insulin response, and insulin’s job is to store fat—especially in the belly.

And breaking down muscle is not a good direction to go in!  Cortisol can inhibit protein synthesis, hindering muscle growth, and also antagonizes the actions of anabolic hormones like insulin, further contributing to muscle loss.  

Managing stress is such a KEY to weight management. I think we hear that a lot but who can live on a mountain top or quit their job?

Yoga and mindfulness tools should be, and can be, brought into your everyday world. It’s great to go to a class but it’s pulling out what you’ve learned in the moment when cravings hit… that’s where results lie.

That’s why I’ve created the Mindful Eating Guide. It’s a common sense, step by step protocol for learning how to eat in harmony with your unique needs in the moment. You can attend social occasions. Enjoy your favourite foods. Just drop all the diet drama.

The essence of the program is careful planning, tools like journaling and really paying attention to yourself for a change. It transformed how I interact with food and cleared up a lot of those “bad girl” messages that made me feel truant.

Don’t get me wrong… I’m all about the fun. In fact, WTF? That was mine … but my acronym meant “where’s the fun?” Gotta figure out how it all morphed so terribly wrong.

Anyway…

Today’s topic is about F-U-N!

I’ve been in places in my life where it wasn’t much fun. I bet you have too.

What I didn’t really understand was that I was making a choice. Yup. A choice about the fun. I can make fun happen at a funeral (I’m bound to get letters on that one!). Today I want to share how you can make the mundane more marvelous with mindfulness. And bring on the FUN!

Here’s the thing: life looks busy, loud, and fun on Instagram. But what about when the phone is quiet, the kids are gone, and the house feels a little too still? That’s when the restlessness creeps in. Today, I want to show you how to flip that loneliness into joy—and make fun a choice, not an accident.

Do you like to have fun? Of course! No one signs up for the class “How to be Serious”. Our default wiring is all about worrying, fretting and ruminating. I don’t think anyone needs a class in that.

So we DO sign up for all the fun things… travel, parties, shopping, wine with girlfriends, redecorating. And we post all the photos on insta and tell everyone that we are SOOOO BUSY.

But, girlfriend, what about when it gets quiet for a bit? Phone’s not binging or buzzing. No parties right now. Actually, you feel a little burnt out from it all. Hard to settle to sleep. You might feel restless, lonely, like there should be more? You must be missing out because other people seem so much happier or important.

So you start to scroll… plan a trip… buy something online… reach for a snack or a nice glass of wine. Anything to fill in the quiet spot… distract you from that uncomfortable loneliness or boredom or restlessness.

I totally get it.

Around menopause, my weight gain was really bothering me. And there were too many quiet moments where my discomfort got really, well, uncomfortable. I knew that I was emotionally eating to distract from those awkward times.

My kids were busy with their own lives. I was sort of retired and my friends all seemed super busy with their jobs or their kids. After decades of being in the thick of things, I was lonely and left behind. That hurt.

We have all put in decades of building our knowledge base. Putting love into so many things. I guess I just thought that there would be this pot of gold here at the end of the rainbow. You know, life knocking on my door and saying “here’s the meaning of it all” or “congratulations oh wise woman, we revere you”.

In yoga philosophy, we practice not grasping for things. Not being materialistic. Denying the ego. Like the image of the wise figure on the mountain top, serenely meditating. That wasn’t my experience unfortunately. I did not feel serene. All the good mountain tops were taken.

Here’s what I discovered.

There’s no phoning it in. If we’re going to experience the life we really want, we have to reach out and make it happen.

We were willing to do this when we were younger. We dreamed of a career, went to school. We hunted around for a good mate, bought a great house, made a life for ourselves. But we have absorbed some crazy cultural myth that now we’ve graduated from that effort. Based on our age and experience, we can just sit back and life will find us.

I hear this from my friends and clients often. The desire to just sit back and see what unfolds. It is partly the yoga philosophy talking. We don’t want to be greedy or egotistical.

Here’s the truth my friends. You can just phone it in. Wait and see what happens. Be reactionary rather than visionary. But my bet is that you are going to feel restless with that. You’re too smart and talented to be battered about by the waves of fate.

My guess is that mostly what I’m hearing from my friends and clients is exhaustion. They have been self sacrificing and putting that finger in the dike for so long that there is little left over for their own self development.

That’s where I was at. Until I just looked in the mirror and said, that’s it. It FINALLY sunk in that there was no prince charming, no magic potion, no yoga fairy that was going to show me the way to go.

The protocol I used to find my way to losing 25 pounds, feeling energized and motivated again has become the SHE Mindfulness Program. I really want to share this with you so you can shape your life, not just phone it in.

First step? Living fully means challenging yourself with goals. Big goals and dreams.

Now why would you bother with that stuff? I had lots of dreams that never came true. I had tried shooting for goals and been disappointed in the past. At some point, can’t I just drift along and never feel that angst again???

Here’s why you can’t just fluff it away.

The discomfort you expose yourself to – on purpose – while shooting for goals and dreams reveals the thoughts that cause you discomfort when things are quiet.

Remember the loneliness, restlessness, boredom that we mentioned before? When the phone is quiet and no one is around and not much is happening. There are thoughts that are running through your mind during those periods. They are unkind, judgmental, repetitive thoughts. They drive us to behave and say things we would rather not in a different frame of mind.

They drive us to eat chips at night when we’re not really hungry. Those thoughts pick at our brain until we’re exhausted and snap at our husbands. They knock us down when new invitations come up, eat away at our confidence.

That’s not fun.

So I made some goals. The first one was to lose 10 pounds. It was daunting. It doesn’t sound like a lot of weight to some people but to me, it was Mount Everest. I was stressed just thinking about all the food I was going to have to cut out and extra exercise I’d had to find time and energy for.

But then I applied mindfulness to the task. Which means being aware of my moment to moment experience AND meeting those feelings with kindness, curiosity and non judgment.

I faced those b****y thoughts when I wanted chips or I was afraid I’d not be successful at my goal. I’m not enough. I don’t deserve to get thin. I’m going to be old and alone. I’m too old to try new things. Everyone else has something that makes their life amazing but I missed out.

In the SHE Mindfulness Program, I’ll teach you exactly how to face thoughts like these. Exactly what to do with the discomfort. And keep on track with the actions that will get you your goal.

I remember about 3 months into the weight loss process. I was camping in Florida and didn’t have a scale. I had no idea if the protocol was actually working. But I liked how it felt. I was being kinder in my head. I was feeling more confident. Then, at a thrift store, I managed a quick weigh in.

Can I communicate to you my elation that I was actually down a few pounds???!!! I just kept screaming “it works!!!”. Totally blew my mind. I hadn’t cut out a food group or taken on any crazy workouts. I just used mindful eating and the other components of the SHE protocol. Totally do-able. Even in my tiny trailer.

Now my thoughts were often like “I’m rocking it”, or “what a ride this is” or “as long as I’m learning and growing like this, I’ll never feel old”. My relationships started to feel more meaningful. I was sharing my truth and being more authentic.

And this, my friends, is what fun is really about. Not based on external situations. But from a deep wellspring of unstoppable joy that I am 100% in control of. This is why mundane stuff, like just staying at home or having a quiet tea with a friend, can be so soul satisfying.

It’s not because the # on the scale went down. It’s how I changed in the process. The changes in my brain.

So am I being greedy or egotistical? I’ve thought long and hard about this.

In yoga philosophy, there is the concept of dharma. It means our life’s purpose. We are each born with a unique set of gifts and talents. In alignment with the universal good, we are charged with getting out there and sharing them. We are to be of service. Make the world a better place.

I was hiding behind too much flesh. I was hiding behind excuses about being tired and old. I was letting my talents and gifts go dormant. That is not my job according to the philosophy of dharma. Because I was letting those b****y thoughts hold too much real estate in my brain, I wasn’t in alignment with what the universe really needed from me.

After losing ten pounds, then 15 and then finally 25, I realized that mindfulness and setting goals was an unlimited process. What else did I feel a deep longing around?

The same protocol that helped me lose the weight is being applied to other areas of my life including weight training, setting boundaries with family and building my online business.

Now that goal is really scary. About 75% of my brain thinks I’m on crack cocaine for setting the income goals I have. How will I ever get those sales? I don’t know how to do social media! What will the neighbours think? But there’s part of me that’s super excited and feeling very alive. That’s what I choose to focus on. Every day I have a plan. I’m learning to do what I say and create confidence in my abilities. I’m tapping into my authentic voice and sharing my truth with you.

I’m not hiding behind bags of chips or excuses about being tired. I’m out there, boldly flaunting my dharma for all to see. And it’s fun.

That’s why we need goals and dreams. Why we need to reach outside of our comfort zone on purpose. The skills we practice along this journey to our dreams builds muscle to bounce back from life’s surprises. And disappointments.

What if I don’t meet my business goal? Will it all be wasted? Will I be so embarrassed to tell you all?

See this is what’s so fun! It doesn’t matter about the actual goal! I can’t fail! The thoughts that I’ve confronted… the kindnesses that I’ve built into my day… the deepening appreciation for my own gifts and talents… those are mine no matter what.

If I hadn’t set the goal, I’d be doing the same old. So I set the goal, it’s going as it’s going. No matter what… when a year is up, I will be a changed brain. Change that I directed and supervised. I am in control. I’m proactive… not reactive. Being a big ass boss of my own life.

And that is fun, my friend.

It’s the new year. Big plans. What if doubling down on those resolutions… really gritting your teeth and going for it… pushing really hard… was the opposite of what really works?

Today I want to offer a magic formula, well it seems magic at first, for breaking through long time barriers and discovering a natural well of motivation and momentum. I’ll give you 3 ways to slay your goals this year and it’s definitely not what you think.

Are you hoping this is permission to just give up? Slack off?

Hell, no, my friend. This is a rally call to get you pumped, motivated and slaying it.

But not how we’ve been doing it.

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Think back to your days at work. Push, push, push. Always looking ahead and feeling more behind by the minute. And then you went home to a whole new level of insanity. Never enough hours in the day.

For me, I just got totally lost in all that. Forgot the sound of my own voice. Forgot what brought me joy. Forgot how to say “I don’t want to”.

When We Lose our Voice

I heard some research the other day. At age 9, little girls are very similar to little boys. They confidently assert what game or food or whatever that they want. They own up to what they want to be when they grow up. By age 11, little girls are beginning to waffle a bit. “I think…” is used much more often than with boys. And by age 13? Girls are much more likely to respond with, “what do you think or want?”. We lose our voice in our socialized pressure to please and nurture others.

No wonder we get to 50 or 60 years old and feel lost. We’re so accustomed to just doing what needs to be done… serving others… that when life changes (which it does, right, at our age?), it feels like someone has changed not only the board in this game but all the rules too.

I was raised with the idea that looking after others’ needs would be how I stayed valuable. It’s how I earned love. My worth could be measured by the number of people who depended on me.

Is Keeping Busy Avoiding your Life?

I complained about how busy I was but secretly, I felt needed. Like I was part of something. I had no down time but that was ok. It felt pretty scary when the house got quiet and there was nothing between me and the snack cupboard. Staying busy was a great buffer so I didn’t have to really think or feel for myself.

What typically happens when you hit the hormonal tsunami of menopause, however, is that busy pace gets harder and harder to support. You’re not sleeping well, you’re not digesting and assimilating minerals well, you’ve been depleting yourself for decades now.

Looking back, I wonder what on earth I thought was going to happen?

But I honestly had no idea how menopause was going to feel. I had always held it together for everyone so I guess I assumed I always would???

Thanks for reading The Midlife Reset - Sleep, Strength and Joy for Women 50+! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Menopause is an Invitation to Reset

Here’s what I really want to share. Aging feels different than being 30. Chasing that old “burn the candle at both ends” energy is futile and self aggressive. We can be wiser. And I want to give you three ways to achieve your goals without burnout and that desperate energy.

Longtime listeners have heard me share before how, at the age of 60, I lost weight, started an online school and this podcast, calmed fractious family dynamics and welcomed the most exciting years of my life.

And this was through being kinder to myself in so many ways. That’s the simple truth.

Part of the process (I share more in my free “5 Step Midlife Reset” Masterclass which I’ll link to in the show notes) was more effectively utilizing therapeutic rest.

Here’s the typical scenario. After a full day of holding everyone else and their s**t together, you finally collapse on the couch with the remote in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. This is your “down time”. Your reward for slugging it out all day. Although quite enjoyable, it is not truly supercharging your depleted battery. In fact, the action movie and alcohol may interfere with that all important sleep later tonight. I mean, you know this intellectually but you’re too damn tired to change anything about it.

Been there.

The result of decades of this coping was uncontrolled weight gain, interrupted sleep, anxiety, joint pain and just feeling like everything that felt normal before did not anymore. I didn’t fit with my friends like before. I didn’t know what to do about work. Everything kind of pissed me off to be honest.

I finally reached out and got some help. Many of those teachings are assembled in the SHE Mindfulness Program. You can get a taste of the whole approach in the free masterclass, “5 Step Midlife Reset”.

All the well meaning advice and the most fantastic tools mean nothing if you are as depleted as I was. Most of us are, girlfriend. We grind into menopause with exhausted adrenals, low grade chronic health concerns and no time to pause and take a wider look.

This is the superpower that we all have. This is what I want to hone in on today. Therapeutic relaxation.

The Power of the Pause

Hear this: relaxation will get you to your goals (be it losing weight, building a business or fixing a relationship) BECAUSE it creates a grounded state that feels connected, safe and capable.

An exhausted nervous system cannot support new learning. It can’t afford any resources to shift to better habits. It can’t grasp the new concept necessary to motivate a new behaviour.

Knowing all this, which I knew very well as a yoga therapist, you might understandably ask, “Cheryl, why didn’t you just rest more?”

It seems so clear in hindsight. I know the research. I taught the practices. I have a nice space all set up in my house.

Over the years, I have seen so many clients who had all the resources but still failed to put the tool into practice. And that’s me too.

We get so accustomed to the hamster wheel that we just don’t see the forest for the trees. That’s why I needed to reach out for help. And why you, as a powerful over achiever, may need to as well.

So if you just take a little more time on the courch with the remote, will that magically make all your dreams come true?

I’m so sorry. But no.

What I’m suggesting is that we use relaxation strategically. It’s not a free pass to slack off.

In order to achieve your dreams, you will need to show up. It will involve planning, journalling, exercising, researching, trying new things and so much more. Which sounds exhausting right?

It can be if you are just grinding away, using sheer willpower and self aggression.

What softens all that grasping energy is the self care, self compassion and gentler self talk. We find our way to this energy by taking rest.

3 Ways to Harness the Power

Here are the three ways that you can strategically insert therapeutic relaxation into your day to support motivation, momentum and lasting change.

* Mindfulness snacks

These are small breaks in the flow of your daily living that take about 5 minutes or less. One of my favourite is the 3 minute breathing space. We can practice right now together. Unless you’re driving. Comfortable seat…. Become aware of your body, sensations, thoughts, mood, energy level…. Reorient attention to movements of breath in the body…. Keeping breath in the background of your awareness, open lens to encompass all sensation, thought and emotion again. Notice any shift.

Why this works: we shift our brains from being “in the weeds” to watching the weeds. It takes activity out of the amygdala and more reactive areas of the brain to the pre-frontal cortex where our executive function lives. Literally, more of our brain become available to utilize.

Consistency is key. Regular practice trains us in the witness capability. Waiting until you are frazzled or upset is too late.

Other snacks could be a quick meditation or breathing break. The key to remember is you don’t have to jump out of your life or leave other activities entirely in order to reset your brain.

2. A Restorative Pose

My biorhythm is low energy in late afternoon. This is when we typically reach for a coffee, candy bar or glass of wine. I wanted stay on track with my health goals so I decided to give myself the gift of 15 minutes at 4 pm-ish every day.

You maybe have a favourite restorative yoga pose from class. One of the easiest things I’ve found is throwing my legs up the couch. I put an eye pillow on (I keep one in the freezer to reduce puffiness as an added bonus… this can also help some headaches). And maybe a throw pillow under my head. Maybe some soft music (or yoga chanting) on the headphones. Invite Natalie to snuggle. Set my phone timer for 10 - 20 minutes. And then just do it. Just lie there.

The first few times, other people in the house thought I was ill. Some of my clients rebel against the impression that they need a nap, like old people. Most of us feel the pressure to finish getting the day’s tasks done.

And it does feel awkward to just lie around in the middle of the day. Nothing between me and my thoughts but an eye pillow. Ack!

But I’ve come to treasure that respite. Because I have read the research on the power of the pause but to actually see how my life is reshaping BECAUSE I drop out regularly… well it’s amazing.

Why it works: As the day progresses, your unconscious or habit brain is called upon to handle more and more decision making. Brains take a lot of energy to run. And habits are more energy efficient. Trying something new is exhausting. This little recharge for the body and mind will armour you for the decisions facing you in the evening ahead. What to cook for dinner, how much to eat or drink, whether to snack, should you pick a fight with your husband… all these decisions will be more in alignment with your goals if you are slightly more rested.

3. Stretch breaks

It’s not big news that your body feels tension and gets contracted from it. Most of us associate stretching with a full yoga class or at the gym after exercise. Wonderful on both counts.

But every little worry, every sideways glance, every loud noise…. It’s all being registered and stored in your physical body.

You know hours at your desk or being locked driving long distances can leave you stiff and sore. But all this can be shifted with small movement breaks.

Not only will you ease that stiffness BUT you’ll have the amazing brain benefit of clearer thinking and more energy.

Let’s try it right now. Stand up (if it’s safe to do so) and rise up onto the balls of your feet and then lower your heels a couple times. Inhale, stretch your arms out to the sides and exhale give yourself a little hug. Swing your arms to one side and then the other a few times. Stretch to the side and then the other. Take a deep breath or two. Notice how you feel now.

Why this works: the neurochemical signature of every thought/emotion is stored in your system. This is a brilliant survival strategy. If anything like this every happens again in your life, your brain can send out the reactionary hormones much faster on automatic pilot. So there is huge vault of all the sensory experiences you have ever had in your mind. And if you ever smell that smell or hear that sound again, the body will start to react almost instantaneously. That’s A LOT of physical stuff going on unconsciously moment to moment. And the body gets weary.

A little stretching like we just did loosens up the relationships. Gives the brain newer, more pleasant and relaxing data to work with. It can stop the exhaustion that comes with all the bracing and tension.

Let’s recap.

Training your relaxation response equals easier learning, more creativity, clarity and calm. Pushing and grinding create the opposite state of mind. To achieve our goals and dreams, soften and strategically insert therapeutic rest on a consistent basis.

We talked about 3 different tools, but there are so many. The 3 minute breathing space… a restorative yoga pose and stretching breaks.

It doesn’t really matter what you do as long as you remember the true reason you’re doing these things. You are nurturing yourself. Opening space for more self compassion. Working with your natural wiring instead of straining against it.

If you would like to learn more about this wisdom, 5 Step Midlife Reset is a grounded, sensible series of sustainable changes that can provide the springboard to deeper work. Get it free and watch as often as you like.

Are stairs getting trickier every day? Do you worry about needing surgery for your knees?

One of the most common reasons people seek out my yoga classes is that they think they have tight hips.

What if I told you that in my decades of experience, the most under-utilized strategy to ease knee pain or loosen hips had nothing to do with those joints specifically?

Every step you take starts with your feet. If they’re stiff, weak, or can’t move well, that lack of motion travels up the chain into your knees and hips.

Welcome to episode #30 of the Midlife Reset Podcast. I’m your host, Cheryl Gordon. I’ve spent the last 25 years studying movement and helping women just like you stay active and strong. Today I want to share with you the secrets of keeping your feet nimble. Once you feel the transformation that so many of my clients have experienced, you’ll want to dive into all the other amazing benefits that yoga therapy can offer.

This will be a bit of a hands on episode. You may want to pause and grab a tennis ball or similar prop along with a small dishcloth, dry of course. It may be an episode that you want to repeat a few times until you get the full depth of what we’re sharing.

Ok… so what’s up with feet? Can you slip off your shoe and have a look? Can you see the number of little bones and joints in your foot? Each adult human foot contains 26 bones, which are divided into three main groups: seven tarsal bones in the ankle and rear foot, five metatarsal bones in the midfoot, and fourteen phalanges (toe bones). Together, the 26 bones in each foot make up about 25% of the total bones in the human body. That’s a lot of moving parts for feet which are a small part of your whole body.

Why did mother nature create such a mobile structure? Because, historically, we did not navigate our world in Nike’s. We were running barefoot over sand, rocks, savanna. Our feet are supposed to be a marvel of engineering and flexibility. You know those old commercials about people who can paint with their toes? That’s a thing. It’s possible. Watch babies. Their feet do all that their hands can do.

Let’s do a little experiment. Stand up. Watch your toes move if possible. Now if you’re driving, well, do it later. Try to lift just your big toe on the right foot. Let all the other toes stay down. Super hard, right? But your muscles and bones can do that. You’ve just lost the wiring to the brain that remembers how to do that.

Why does this matter?

Flexible feet (especially in the arches and toes) act like springs, absorbing shock with each step. If the feet are rigid, that shock moves directly into the knees and hips, which aren’t designed to handle all that impact.

Feet that can spread, flex, and adapt keep the ankles stable. Stable ankles = better knee tracking and hip alignment. Without it, knees may cave inward or twist, which stresses cartilage and ligaments.

When I was a kid, I couldn’t skate. My ankles just fell inward. I tripped over my own blades. When my mom took me to the doctor because I fell so much, he recommended ballet. Here’s me at 3 years old in my little pink tutu. The doctor recognized that I had weak ankles and stiff feet, even for a kid. I think it helped. My poor mom.

Anyway, this brings us to an important point. Flexible, mobile feet give your brain constant information about where you are in space. This is called proprioception. It is sometimes referred to as a sixth sense.

When you set out to walk or climb stairs, your brain has been trained to tune into where that hovering foot is about to land. Did you realize you balance on one foot all day long? Every step you take in fact. So many students in yoga tell me they have no balance and my reply is that you couldn’t have walked in here if you couldn’t balance. Proprioception is a type of essential intelligence that I was struggling to develop when I was 3. It’s know where our bodies are in space and time, almost instinctively. Movement is the best teacher of proprioception.

Now your gorgeous feet are a marvel of engineering for another reason that running on the savannah. The movement in your feet as you navigate that uncertain territory is feeding information up to your brain that builds proprioception. In fact, 90% of your intelligence around where you are in space comes from your feet. That knowledge translates up the kinetic chain and helps your hips and knees respond quickly and stay strong in movement, preventing falls and injuries.

And yet, what did my mom do when I started to walk? What are older people cautioned to do all the time to prevent falls? Yup. Get a structured shoe. This is tantamount to putting on noise cancelling headphones and then trying to hear someone talk from the next room. Very muffled. When you wear firm, structured shoes, you are muffling your natural feedback systems to your brain. You are less intelligent, less stable.

I know. We are bombarded with marketing messages about arch support and pronation and goodness knows what. But here’s the way God made ya. Flexible feet.

Ever sit on a park bench and watch people walk by? How many older adults do you see who walk fluidly and evenly? Not many I bet. I know we all have stiff hips and sore knees but why???

To walk smoothly, you need your toes to bend, your arch to rise and fall, and your heel to move freely. If those motions are stiff, your stride shortens, hips and knees compensate, and over time—pain and wear-and-tear build up.

You can begin to address this right now. Can you grab your bare foot? It might be easier to lie down in bed. However it works for you. Gentle stroke the bottom of your foot. No pressure really needed. Can you feel the tingle? It’s about activating nerve endings. Can you picture little lightening bolt type messengers zinging up to your brain. Pay attention! Stuff is happening here! That’s good. We want the pathways to be very alive. Now try a little more pressure, maybe moving the toes this way and that. Massaging into the “flipper” part of your foot. We can even mobilize the heel. There are three bones just in the heel part. Take time to notice that foot before trying the second side. Try a tennis ball now.

What about feet that are just blocks of cement? Start slow, be consistent. It’s mostly soft tissue (fascia) and it will soften.

Speaking of fascia, have you ever had plantar fasciitis? That is an inflammation of the soft tissue in the sole of the foot. Very painful. Don’t do anything drastic when it’s in flare up. Do the wash cloth thing to strengthen. To prevent, take foot and ankle mobility more seriously every day, calf stretching too.

Doing the Joint Freeing Series daily, even twice a day, is a good practice.

Let’s recap.

1. The feet are your base of support

Every step you take starts with your feet. If they’re stiff, weak, or can’t move well, that lack of motion travels up the chain into your knees and hips.

2. Shock absorption

* Flexible feet (especially in the arches and toes) act like springs, absorbing shock with each step.

* If the feet are rigid, that shock moves directly into the knees and hips, which aren’t designed to handle all that impact.

3. Alignment & tracking

* Feet that can spread, flex, and adapt keep the ankles stable.

* Stable ankles = better knee tracking and hip alignment.

* Without it, knees may cave inward or twist, which stresses cartilage and ligaments.

4. Balance & proprioception

* Flexible, mobile feet give your brain constant information about where you are in space.

* This helps your hips and knees respond quickly and stay strong in movement, preventing falls and injuries.

5. Gait efficiency

* To walk smoothly, you need your toes to bend, your arch to rise and fall, and your heel to move freely.

* If those motions are stiff, your stride shortens, hips and knees compensate, and over time—pain and wear-and-tear build up.

To address these issues, take up a daily practice of paying attention to your feet. I’ve shared three things right now but there are lots of options. I do recommend strongly that you look at the FREE Joint Freeing Series video course. It gives you a few different versions for different times of day and different abilities. I do the practice myself and can personally vouch for the benefits. I think I walk pretty well for an old girl.

Do you have more questions about your feet? Let me know.

Have you spent years pouring your heart into everyone else—only to feel drained, resentful, or even invisible?

You’re not alone. In this week’s episode of The Midlife Reset Podcast (Ep. 29), I sit down with life coach, author, and podcast host Denise Drinkwalter to talk about reclaiming your joy, setting boundaries, and putting yourself back at the centre of your life.

✨ In this empowering conversation, you’ll discover:

🔹 The difference between coaching and therapy—and when each is right for you🔹 How journaling can help you release anxiety and reconnect with your authentic self🔹 Why midlife is the perfect time to rewrite your story🔹 Inspiring client stories of women who broke free from old patterns and found confidence, purpose, and even new careers🔹 How Denise uses unique tools like numerology to help women see their potential

Whether you’re tired of being tired, feeling stuck in family dynamics, or simply ready to prioritize you for once—this episode will inspire you to take that first intentional step.

🎧 Tune in now and learn how to create a life that feels authentic, connected, and full of possibility—on your terms.

Resources mentioned in the podcast:

📌 Learn more about Denise Drinkwalter: 📌 Join Cheryl’s SHE Mindfulness Program:

📌 Get the truth about the 5 Deal Breakers in Yoga for Midlife Women (spoiler alert: hot yoga is not a good plan!)

watch the midlife metabolism podcas

If you’ve ever wondered why your body seems to respond differently to diets, exercise, or even your favorite comfort foods now that you’re in midlife, you’re not alone. In episode 28 of the Midlife Reset Podcast, I sat down with holistic nutritionist (and metabolism mechanic!) Sharlene Styles to answer your burning questions about midlife metabolism.

Together, we dug into hot topics like anti-inflammatory diets, intermittent fasting, collagen supplements, and how to navigate cravings with mindfulness instead of guilt. Here are the highlights.

The Anti-Inflammatory Diet: What Really Works

When it comes to fighting inflammation, the first rule is simple: eat real food. That means vegetables, fruits, legumes, beans, healthy fats (like olive oil and walnuts), and wild-caught fish.

What to limit? Ultra-processed foods like packaged meats, refined oils, pastries, breads, pastas, and sugary snacks. For some women, dairy or alcohol can also be inflammatory.

But here’s the thing: inflammation is personal. What causes a flare-up in one woman may not affect another. The key is paying attention to how your body feels and adjusting accordingly.

Intermittent Fasting: Helpful or Harmful?

There’s no denying intermittent fasting has scientific backing—but most of the research has been done on men, not women. And for midlife women already juggling hormone shifts, adrenal fatigue, or chronic stress, fasting can actually add more stress to the body.

Many women start their day with black coffee while fasting, but caffeine spikes cortisol and inflames the body further. Combine that with under-eating and over-exercising, and it’s a recipe for hormonal chaos.

Instead, Sharlene suggests focusing on stabilizing blood sugar: eating every 4–5 hours with balanced meals that contain protein, healthy fats, and complex carbs. This signals safety to your body and supports fat burning without stress.

Comfort Foods and Cravings: Mindfulness Over Guilt

Who doesn’t love a gooey cinnamon bun or a bowl of creamy mac and cheese? Comfort foods often aren’t about nutrition—they’re tied to memories, emotions, and the need for soothing.

Instead of labeling them as “bad,” Sharlene suggests asking: What makes this food comforting? Then, find healthier swaps that still give you the cozy, satisfying feeling—like rye bread instead of white, or a nourishing muffin made with whole ingredients.

And yes—there’s room for the real thing too. With mindfulness and intention, you can enjoy ice cream or birthday cake without guilt. As I’ve learned personally, weight loss and wellness don’t mean cutting out all the foods you love—they mean choosing them consciously.

Collagen: Worth the Hype?

Collagen is one of the most buzzed-about supplements for women over 40—and for good reason. As we age, our natural collagen production declines, affecting skin, joints, and connective tissue.

But here’s the truth: collagen isn’t a miracle fix. It’s a protein, and while rotating different types can be beneficial, the foundation is still eating a protein-rich diet with a variety of amino acids from whole foods. Think of collagen as an add-on, not the base of your nutrition.

The Bottom Line: Gentle, Sustainable Shifts

Whether it’s food, fasting, or fitness, the most powerful changes aren’t the extreme ones—they’re the gentle, sustainable shifts you can stick with. Quick fixes and harsh restrictions rarely work long-term.

Instead, focus on:

* Eating whole, anti-inflammatory foods that feel good for your body

* Stabilizing blood sugar to calm hormones and reduce stress

* Approaching cravings with mindfulness, not guilt

* Supporting your body with sensible supplements and protein-rich meals

This is how you build energy, balance, and health in midlife—not just for now, but for decades to come.

💡 Want more guidance? The SHE Mindfulness Program provides a step by step framework to help you

* sleep better

* lose weight

* feel stronger

employing the tools of yoga and mindfulness. This unique blend of ancient wisdom, practical worksheets, video courses, movement classes and personalized support is a transformational journey custom crafted for midlife women.

Cheryl Gordon: Yoga is supposed to heal you, so why did it hurt me? In this episode, my guest and I reveal the hidden risks of yoga for women over 50, and the essential steps to keep your practice safe, strong, and sustainable for decades to come.

Today, I'm so excited to have a great gab with Gillian Soder of Body Labs Yoga in Edmonton, Canada. Gillian is the creator and primary facilitator for Body Labs classes, workshops, and courses. She's been studying yoga and the human body for over 20 years, spanning a university degree, employment in forensic medicine, and currently as a movement educator.

Her and I today will break down where I, and so many yoga enthusiasts, are at risk for injury. We’ll explain why, and give you the best practices for enjoying decades of yoga safely.

So welcome to episode number 27 of the Midlife Reset Podcast.I'm Cheryl Gordon. I'm a yoga therapist who's very busy these days, doing my best to educate midlife women on feeling stronger, losing weight, and sleeping better using the tools of yoga and mindfulness.

Now, I started teaching yoga with great enthusiasm. I had always loved attending classes, and felt that yoga was just about the best thing that had ever happened to me.

When I got to start leading those classes myself, sharing the teachings, well, you know, I just jumped in, like, 150%. I taught six days a week.Enthusiastically demonstrating poses on one side, but then walking around the room to help my students adjust into their poses. And they would be doing the second side, but I skipped that side, you know, because I was busy teaching. I didn't do any of the preparatory breathing or relaxation stuff that I had my students do. I was guiding others.

And yoga was magic, right? I was totally above worrying about keeping myself safe.And then there was that first injury. Ouch.My psoas, which is a hip flexor muscle, just got fed up with those deep, sexy lunges, and all the lack of counterposing. It got inflamed, angry, painful — I couldn't even walk.Other injuries have followed, each one teaching an essential lesson.

So please welcome my guest today, Gillian Soder. Gillian, I can't wait to mine all your knowledge, so our listeners won't make those same mistakes that I was talking about. So welcome!

Gillian Soder: Thank you for having me! I'm super excited! Let's get into it.

Cheryl Gordon: I want to ask, Gillian, because I was so intrigued: what was your work in forensic medicine? That sounds so intriguing.

Gillian Soder: So, yeah… my degree is actually in forensic anthropology. Bones are my jam — that's why I’ve got all my buddies around me. And so I took my forensic anthropology here at the University of Alberta, and started working at the medical examiner's office, actually before I graduated. So I worked in a forensic setting doing autopsies.Not medical autopsies, but forensic autopsies — those are autopsies on individuals whose death was unexpected, either due to some sort of medical reason, or due to some sort of violent death, be it in a trauma accident, homicide, or something like that.And so we did that for a number of years. I also worked for the transplant program at the University of Alberta Hospital, as a coordinator, speaking with families at time of death about donation of their loved one's tissues.Over the span of 20 years, I actually went back to the medical examiner's office during 2020 as well. So, over the span of about 20 years, I have been in and out of anatomy labs with my hands literally on the tissues of the human body, and it's been such an honor to be able to learn in that way continuously.

Cheryl Gordon: Wow, that's a lot of deep experience, Gillian. So when you talk about the body and how to align ourselves in yoga poses, we're going to play very close attention. So… how did you go from forensic anthropology to yoga?

Gillian Soder: Yeah, it seems like a big leap — and it was. I have two children, and when I had my second child, our work schedules… I was working shift work at the transplant program at the time, and it just didn’t make sense for me to return back to work full-time.So, as a stay-at-home mom, I decided I was going to take my yoga teacher training as kind of my little side gig. Get me out of the house, keep me a little sane, right? Keep me busy.I took my yoga teacher training almost 15 years ago now, and that was a big learning curve — bigger than I thought it was going to be. Because here’s the thing: I had been learning from bodies that were stationary. No feeling, right? They had no opinion on what was happening. I had always worked with deceased bodies. Always.And it was a big shift for me to work with moving, breathing, feeling humans. So, I'm still learning in that transition, 15 years later. But again, it's this beautiful arc of the human experience — between this life that we get to live in these bodies, and understanding how they interact.

Cheryl Gordon: Fascinating. So, can we talk a little bit more about the difference between a dead body and a live body? Beyond the obvious. Now, here’s kind of the reason I’m asking the question, Gillian, and I think it’s going to lead us into the reason that I sustained the injuries that I did in yoga, and it’s got something to do with connective tissue.

Gillian Soder: Yeah, absolutely. So, our connective tissue — everyone’s connective tissue, everyone’s body — is very independent. Everyone has their own kind of build and structure. My buddy over here, just over my left shoulder, he’s named Stan, because he stands around. He goes with me to all of my trainings. He’s kind of the template. But we always have to remember: he’s a template, and that’s it.There is huge variation in the human population. When I was learning at the University of Alberta, we worked with a skeletal collection that wasn’t representative of the bodies we typically see here in Canada. Those skeletons were much smaller than the bodies I see in my classes. Later, when I did some of my training in Eastern Europe, those skeletal bodies were much larger than the ones I had studied here.So, when we’re talking about movement and templates — the kinds of images that Yoga Journal has put out over the years, those beautiful pictures of people practicing — those are just templates. It’s not necessarily how it’s going to look for you, or me, or the next person.It really comes down to how the position feels in your body. Your skeleton is going to interact with those positions in a very different way than someone else’s. That’s why we want to focus on the experience of the soft tissue — the connective tissue around and within the joints — in order to stay within what we might call “safe spaces.”

Cheryl Gordon: Absolutely. And this is something I’ve been trying to communicate, but I just love having someone with your expertise and experience reinforcing the message I’ve been trying so hard to share with midlife women. Because it becomes even more important as we get older. It’s very important when we’re young, but even more so as we age.I remember following some of the work of Tom Myers — you’ve probably heard of him — the “Anatomy Trains.” He and a number of my teachers have mentioned that for many centuries, people were studying autopsies, looking at dead bodies, and basically dismissing fascia and connective tissue. Because the body wasn’t moving, fascia seemed unimportant.It’s only in more recent times, with imaging technology, that we can actually see a moving body from the inside and say, “Oh wow, what’s all that doing?” That must be one of the big differences between working with the dead and the living, right?

Gillian Soder: Absolutely. When I was learning anatomy in the gross anatomy labs at university, fascia was literally the stuff we cut away to get to the “interesting” parts.

Cheryl Gordon: The good stuff, like the nerves and muscles.

Gillian Soder: Exactly. We removed it just to see the rest. And that was only in the early 2000s when I was doing my degree — not that long ago. In the 20 to 25 years since, we’ve realized the nervous system is actually more connected to fascia than to anything else.Don’t quote me on the exact numbers, but I believe it’s almost 100 times more connected to your fascia than to your skin. Which is fascinating.

And that’s something I love about the human body. You’d think after thousands of years of living in these bodies we’d know everything, but we’re still learning. We used to believe the parts weren’t connected — but in reality, they are totally connected.

Cheryl Gordon: Yes, and that brings us back to connective tissue. It’s this continuous weave throughout all of our tissues — through each tiny little muscle spindle, around our organs, even within our bones. It’s all connected.

Gillian Soder: Absolutely.

Cheryl Gordon: So if fascia is so deep, and even more sensitive than our skin, then in a way we’re actually feeling from the inside, right?

Gillian Soder: Yes, absolutely. And especially for yoga teachers, many of whom haven’t studied anatomy since high school, it’s important to remember: the images in textbooks or online are only created because tissue was cut away.

Your body, until a scalpel touches it, is complete and whole. It’s one system. That’s one of the issues I have with Tom Myers’ work. He’s a brilliant anatomist and has great ideas, but we have to remember his “fascial lines” only exist because a scalpel created them.Those fascial lines are interwoven — the anterior line isn’t truly separate from the lateral line or any other line. It’s all connected. And that’s why we need to be careful to remember that textbook images always come through the lens of whoever dissected or illustrated them.

Cheryl Gordon: Right, yes. Great point. I never really thought about that before. It’s just so amazing, the capability of the human body, and I think yoga is a place where we can really celebrate that capability.

Now, you were mentioning yoga teachers and teacher training. What do you think are some of the main mistakes yoga teachers might be making when they’re sharing movement practice?

Gillian Soder: It’s not so much that they’re making mistakes, but I think they’re missing opportunities. One of the biggest missed opportunities right now is the… at least in the kind of circles that I run in, which are a lot more mobility-focused, and about maintaining long-term ability of the tissues, a vital old age, please.

Maintaining what we have already, right? So, I think one of the things that we are missing a little bit of is more challenge within our practices.

There's a lot of emphasis right now on embodied work and feeling things internally, and what tends to happen with that sort of practice is more of a restorative, quieter practice. And yes, 100%, our nervous systems need that.But they also need the other end of the spectrum. Because there is something so empowering in that moment when a student realizes that they did a really challenging posture, or practice, or what have you.

That they were able to bring themselves to that quote-unquote edge. And not… I'm not talking about, like, the edge of feeling intensity in your tissues or anything like that. We've kind of heard that dialogue over the years — “step to the edge,” right? And that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about finding something a little bit deeper in yourself, where you can go, wow.I just achieved that.

And that is where your nervous system really starts to shift and starts to find a little bit more resiliency. Instead of just going, okay, yeah, I'm okay with this practice, I'm okay with where I'm feeling, and all of that. There's a balance to that by challenging as well, and I think sometimes we're missing out on that challenge for our students.

Cheryl Gordon: Great reminder, because I'm a big believer in the calming practices, and the slower, and the more embodied yoga, but I hear what you're saying completely. So, if I were to ask Gillian specifics about what I could incorporate, in my own practice, or when I'm teaching, I'm thinking poses like plank pose, or maybe the warrior poses, or maybe, like, the balance poses. So, these are the poses that present a big challenge to people.They build strength and cohesion in movement patterns.

Gillian Soder: Yeah, but we can also get a little bit more nuanced within those postures. So, if we are in, let's say, a balancing posture — a one-leg balancing posture.Can we… so, if this is the femoral head, the top of the thigh, okay, and this is part of my pelvis — how can I move that pelvis around a little bit within that balancing posture to get a little bit more stability and strength and awareness within the joint itself?

I live in northern Alberta. We have ice here. It just is part of our lives, right? We are literally skating across the parking lots in the middle of winter. And so this is something that actually is really functional for the population around here, where during the winter, your hips, those smaller muscles within the hips, need to be able to respond for that moment that you step out of your car and put weight on one leg, and need to get up without falling on your butt.Right?

So, when you can explain the reasoning behind it, that's really functional for your students. I think that's when some of these practices can land a little bit more thoroughly for them. Right? So I can say to my students, you know, just being aware helps us to land a potential fall in a more safe way. By doing these practices within a controlled environment in our yoga practice, right?

And so I think that that sort of thing can be really — almost life-changing for our students, potentially, right?

Cheryl Gordon: Yeah, and as we get older, and our bones maybe aren't as strong as they used to be, I have so many people in my classes that say, oh, I have no balance, I'm not good at balance. And I'm thinking, yeah, but you add another 20 years on, girlfriend, that's gonna be a life-threatening condition.So, you're suggesting, Gillian, that us yoga teachers should pay more attention, challenging our students in those kinds of ways.

Gillian Soder: Absolutely, absolutely. And right, like, you brought up plank position. Well, plank position, we can do rhomboid push-ups in plank position, which helps to maintain the integrity of the entire shoulder complex. Front, back, side, all of it. It's not just about the rhomboids in that position, right?So I think, yeah, I think that supporting our students for that future of their body right now is really… to me, it's the definition of my job.

Cheryl Gordon: And I really would love to see more emphasis in yoga classes for midlife women, especially for everybody, but especially for us girls, on these kinds of ideas, rather than, you know, a cow face pose.You know, reaching for your fingers behind your back, or the different poses where you're told to grab your big toe and pull. I wish we would just stop saying those kind of things and make those a measurement of the practice, because I think the connective tissue gets a little traumatized sometimes.

Gillian Soder: Absolutely! We overstretch instead of finding a balance between stretching and engaging. Here's the thing about every single muscle in your body. Every single muscle from your bicep to your pelvic floor.Your muscles, in order to be a healthy muscle, they need to be able to both engage effectively and relax effectively. If they can't do both of those, then there is a disbalance within that tissue.And so, what tends to happen in our bodies is we have an over-engagement in the tissue, because it's holding on for dear life — not because the muscle is not strong enough, but because the area around the joints are not stabilized enough. There's not a balance of all of the muscles around the joints.And so, finding that balance for our students, taking care of all the sides of the joints, is really important.

Cheryl Gordon: Yeah, and getting back to my first injury that I was discussing in the intro, the deep, sexy lunge pose, you know, with the knee on the ground and the big back bend thrown into it, I had unstable pelvic joints. My hips weren't… and everyone wants to stretch their hips. They think their hips are tight, or their hip flexors are tight.And what I wasn't doing was the corresponding reassurance for all those small muscles and all that connective tissue and all those important ligaments in that joint that, oh no, we've got this, we're gonna be nice and stable. I was just throwing it into a great big, huge gravitational pull.And it fought back.

Gillian Soder: Yeah, and that's a really common story in our profession, right? I include myself in that population. I got to the same point with sciatic pain, where I was not able to teach for 3 months because of my sciatic pain, because I had overstretched the nerve itself, right?

Cheryl Gordon: Right.

Gillian Soder: And the hips tend to be the culprit in our injuries amongst yoga teachers in particular, right? Because we do that… a demonstration of the posture on one side and not the other, and we always have a preferred side that we teach from, right? So we do the right side first always, or something like that, right?

Cheryl Gordon: You know what?

Gillian Soder: Human nature, and so it's okay. But you mentioned tight muscles. The thing about tight muscles is that they're usually tight — feel tight — because they're holding on for dear life. It's not because they are actually tight themselves. It's because they're trying to stabilize the joint.And same for me. My joints, my hip joints were unstable. I actually learned that I have hip dysplasia, which is a skeletal deformity. And that kind of predisposed me to injury within my hips.Now, I don't have the flexion, or the flexibility, rather, that I had when I first started practicing or teaching. But I actually have stability and strength in my hips now. Right? So it's… you may have to release some of that idea of how deep of a flexibility practice that you want.

Gillian Soder: In order to create the strength and stable practice that you actually need. ends of the joints to start to rub together. And it’s obviously very painful. But having—again going back to that idea of supporting the joint, creating strength and stability for the joint itself—is really instrumental in supporting the body through the process of osteoarthritis. Unfortunately, you can’t reverse osteoarthritis, but you can support it and slow its progression.

Cheryl Gordon: And maybe alleviate, with all the other tools of yoga, some of the experience of the pain. You get a little bit more confidence, and you’re willing to move a little bit more. Then you get a little bit stronger, and some of the pressure comes off the joint. It’s a cumulative process.

Gillian Soder: It just… it builds on itself, absolutely.

Cheryl Gordon: Taking that first step. And I do have a free program, Gillian, that I’ve developed. It’s based on an old yoga tradition called Pavanmuktasana, but I call it the Joint Freeing Series. I recommend it for people who have osteoarthritis, because they can move the joint, get that synovial fluid going without weight bearing. Each joint is moved by itself, so there’s not a lot of complexity for the nervous system to deal with. I’ll put a link to that free program in the notes.And I’m sure you have some great resources, too, that you offer.

Gillian Soder: Yeah, I usually focus more on teacher training stuff, but I do have a few programs available on my website for people who want to get a little bit more nerdy and understand the why behind things. That’s really where I get excited—the whys behind things.